Sneak: 100

The new iPhone 7 comes out on August. If you want to have a sneak peek at the new iPhone. Take a look at the your current iPhone and pretend it costs 200 dollars more.

‪How to get your Jira ticket resolved:‬

‪1: Assign in it the person‬
‪2: Mention him on the ticket‬
‪3: Remember the ticket number ‬
‪4: Sneak into his office‬
‪5: ‬

When I first started in IT 10 years ago I thought my coworker was pretty weird: every day she brought a coffee mug to the coffee machine and filled it by punching the "espresso" button 7 times. Little did I know this was just a sneak peak into my future...

So, if you are a programming "ninja", does that mean you sneak into other repositories and burn them down or poison the author?

senior devops in the school IT dep: "gcc is not working, it keeps telling theres no input files when there is, and its failing most of my builds"

are you sure sir? Give it another go

(Meanwhile my friends managed to sneak a "fixed image")

see? it works.

Senior Devops: " I swear it didn't work"

(we giggle)

check the last build's .bashrc

>alias gcc= (the error message e was referring)

Senior Devops: "MOTHERFUCKERS"

Actually its just your infra that we pushed the image to, school infra is unaffected

I mean it was fun while it lasted.

A : "what the funk is wrong with git ! why there are conflict!!"
Y: "let me see, hmm .. just press ctrl + disc.."
A : "what are you doing ?"
Y : "discard! they are gone. now you can try again in different branch"
A : "I didn't commit !! this my work of two weeks!!!"
Y : " ..... "
Y : *sneak away*

A friend (also a colleague) of mine had hacked the password of his manager's Netflix account 😆

Well, can't call it as "hacking" in 2018 when you can sneak into an idle laptop and view stored passwords in Chrome.

Now this Netflix account works as a "charitable trust" and more than 30 people are aware of the password 😆

Making good progress on the devRant slackbot, here is a sneak peek...

Story of onboarding in the age of Corona!

Monday:
Office is big but almost empty, people are working from home. Guy welcoming me says he is not the one supposed to help me(he is sick I'm told) and the rest of the team is not there. The man I'm talking to is this other guys boss. It's OK I think it will work out.

Turns out this guy helping me is actually the CTO so he does not have that much time on his hands. He shows me were to get my computer and desk and hands me documentation to setup some software.

I spend the time before lunch installing linux, setting up git and some other software. CTO checks up on me once.

Then after lunch nothing...I look for him but he is in some meeting. I find some videos by myself labled "onboarding" on the company website. They are OK. I ask my deskmate if he heard what team I will be in. He doesn't know. I sneak out a little early since I have nothing left to do.

Tuesday:
The CTO is now also sick I see in an email when I arrive at the office. Still don't know what team I am in.

I spend the morning reading coding blogs and websites. After lunch I have a meeting. The only one in my calendar. It's about the product software architecture for all new employees. It's good but still no news about what team. I aimlessly read up on some software architecture untill I go home.

Wednesday:
I arrive at the office first, only the receptionist is there. I listen to podcasts until a few more people show up. I ask another guy if he knows what team I'm supposed to be in. He doesn't but laughs and says it was the same when he started last year.

I send out messages on slack looking for anyone that knows...still no one knows. I guess Im in limbo now. Perhaps i should just start making coffee for people or something...

>First grade
Teacher: This is a Keyboard, this is a mouse... blah blah blah
Now play Mario!

There was also some space racing game or something installed on the computers. We weren't allowed to play that game, so of course, we did what we weren't allowed to. It was always fun to sneak in a game when the teacher wasn't looking or wasn't around.

We were also taught MS Paint. I "painted" a squirrel in one of the lab sessions, the teacher loved it and showed it to everyone. Everyone applauded and then I became the MS Paint Guru (for them). Fun times..

Microsoft, you can't sneak this past me! I notice you're putting rounded corners in specific parts of your OS, and I don't like it. It's inconsistent with your design and your slow roll-out of the rounding makes things round in some areas (such as the context menu in the calculator app) and square in other areas! (such as the context menu anywhere else)

All I'm saying is either do it everywhere, or do it nowhere.

(I realize the terminal is not an official application YET, but it's a good example)

I am using VS Codium instead of VS Code to see what kind of things change when you scrape the Microsoft out of it. Apparently some tools for dotnet core like debugging are locked down and only allowed to run in Microsoft made IDEs.
I hate the sneaky Microsoft API lockdown nonsense and will be steering future projects away from any dotnet core development. I thought this was dead in VS Code but they managed to sneak it in.

*At the daily status meeting*
Manager: I don’t have anything to table or anything I want to ask about. I honestly don’t know what the point of this meeting even is.

*Throughout every other living breathing moment of time*
Manager: Hey, I had an idea
Manager: Hey, I wanted to get your thoughts on something
Manager: Hey, what do you think about…
Manager: Hey, what are you currently working on?
Manager: Do you think you could just *sneak* in this new feature request and have it to me by EOD?
Manager: Hey, I just sent you an email
The email: Hey I think I found a bug, it’s with image alignment in Microsoft Word and it’s pretty breaking to my productivity report. Do you think you could take a look right now? Thoughts?

Office Suite is at the corner probably waiting for their turn to sneak in

The ability to understand every codebase immediately to the point where I:
* don't need to rely on the documentation
* know exactly where bugs are
* know how a change (bug fix, new feature, etc.) affects other areas of the project recursively

Obviously because it's a waste of time hunting that occur when modifying a codebase, no matter how carefully one writes tests or tests their code, something could always sneak in because it's not always apparent how a change ripples through your codebase.

It's tiresome and especially annoying when working with core modules

I can't always check my phone at work but I can still get devRant notifications on my Moto 360. Well I checked my watch so much today that I killed the battery before 4pm. Now I have to sneak to the bathroom to check notifications for the next hour.

Conspiracy theory: An Arch user got laid with a vegan and had a child.. the name of which became Nix.
I get it, you use NixOS, great. But what impresses me the most is that its users somehow find a way to sneak it into literally *any* conversation...

!dev
That moment when u buy an extra SSD so you can have windows to play some random MMOs with your friends and that bitch tries to sneak your Linux's boot priority.
No Windows, u're just here to play some games. No u can't boot everytime. Only linux can do that. Thank's but I don't even want a browser on you, I already have all the .exe files I need.

Not exactly a co-worker, but one of the devs from the client's team spent a few months working in our office next to us. He would always take a nap at lunch time and snore loudly, and eat an apple afterwards and it seemed to be impossible for him to chew with his mouth closed.

Whenever he had a cold and his nose got blocked he would still force himself to breathe through his nose, so it sounded something like a mix of darth vader and someone drowning.

He also lacked any notion of personal space, and would always sneak behind us to ask questions and then put his laptop right on top of our keyboards or in front of our screens and start talking while we still had headphones on.

Code languages should stay within their designated file extensions! I'm having to work with SQL in .resx files at the moment! Then there's HTML which is like a skitty little travelling monkey that I've found blundering about in SQL strings before, let alone people trying to sneak it into .js files, which is one reason I chose Angular over React btw (and don't give me that bullshit of separations of concerns vs separation of technologies).

It is mostly trivial to work with separate files across languages and doing so gives you the benefits of that languages support in the text editor or IDE you are using. It becomes easier to work with, the behaviour is predictable and it is formatted in a readable manner, ultimately reducing the potential for mistakes. Stop trying to make me put everything in strings!!

I may have come up with the next big thing in entertainment!

You can watch a live feed of me, while I'm watching a live feed of someone playing a video game.

Here's a sneak peak:
I'm sitting there looking incredibly bored and every 30-45 seconds I make a comment about how stupid this is.

!dev

It’s midnight, I’m alone in the big house, it’s pitch black outside, I had a few beers already and I thought it would be a good idea to watch some horror stuff..

I want to go out to have a smoke but I’m scared as fuck now.
There are cats running around in the dark and there are so many great opportunities for some alien zombie monsters to hide and sneak up to me..

Think I became too old for this shit.

HELP!!!

Sneak: 99

Have you ever written an awesome tool or library at work and then you want to find a way to sneak it out of the company to use it on your own projects?

It takes two people two days to write a code
It takes one person one day to write the same code

That moment when agile means "I will sneak in new feature requirements in with your bug tickets even though our sprint is supposed to be only stabilization". Thanks PM Lord.

So soon I'm gonna apply for a really basic web dev job. Pay will be discussed in the interview but it's not a lot of hours its once a week, I can stay home, it wont interfere with my college schedule or my schedule in general, it will give me job experience since I've never had a job before, itll give me a sneak peak of what the paid dev world is like. Also it raises my wage from 0 to whatever we decide on per hour. The only one really proud of me is my teacher of 3 years now. But this will just be until I get out of college because it's a comfy schedule

I hate it when people sneak up and I have to remove my headphones when coding just to ask.. what you doing??
Jerking off jackass.. Come sit down

Popped into a general tutorial meeting on zoom. (for work)

Now I'm stuck midway and I want to bail and go do other things but don't want to be rude to the speaker. 😛

Can't even sneak out of this with the excuse of going to restroom. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Let's face it: I am and will always be a tinkerer. Yes, I know my ways around, I can sneak into legacy code bases easily and throw new stuff in there, I've seen software stacks. But scarcely sound design, really modular. Even from the cleverer, experienced ones. They can master more complexity, so they can handle more spaghetti. Some essay from the 80's had this grand idea to organically 'grow' software. That's how it looks like most of the times: cancerous, parasitic super fungi (armillaria). Yeah, we all know have to fight bit-rot and entropy, but it was all lost before already. We'll never get rid of legacy protocols, legacy code.
And even when we go green field, start a fresh. Yeah, take a great design, make everything new, after some months of throwing features and outer constraints at the thing, it's the same old mud again.
But we can still dream on: some day I will design great APIs, I will have great test coverage, documentation, UML design, autometed tests, fuzzing, memchecking, I'll work professionally, clean coder style.
Pfft forget it. Maybe change for consulting, because we'll continue to dream of the 'clean' code, so you can sell the next 'recipe', development method. It's like diets. As effective. For the one selling.

for me, the problem with going to school and getting a degree is having seen so many ways you can improve your work and wanting to apply all of it, but then you get to the workplace and you're met with resistance. i understand we can't just change everything all at once, but i wish i could sneak in an idea every once in a while

TLDR, i am not performing as I used to in my job before i made my side hussle and idk if i should do anything about it.

every since covid started and companies started laying off people, I started realizing im in danger when no company was able to match my current salary, and the ones that do would, make me do a hunger games hackerrank competition with thousands of other people which I don't really wanna take part of..

My company even laid off a lot of people due to budget cuts a while back and i didn't feel secure at all, and knowing that i might end up with less salary should i get fired and settle for the next company that accepts me, kinda made me lose any trust i had for the whole being an employee thing... I have financial goals i want to meet and depending on this one company to not fire me is scary...

I registered a tech company and hoped I could take on some high budget projects, got nothing the first year but slowly i started getting some projects and now im hiring contractors to help with projects and its going great and im really happy and excited about it.

But i often need to manage said contractors, have calls with clients and even do some coding myself. Some of that i end up having to do in secret in my company time... we work in a big co-working space so i get to sneak into a meeting booth and do all that.

my manager lives in another country and basically im in a situation where i can get away with it without anyone noticing.

However, I used to be one of the top contributors in the company. I used to finish a butt load of tasks every day and i ended up being promoted to manager, but i still get some coding tasks. But generally, if it weren't for my side hussle i would still be a top contributor and shine like i used to, but now i mostly do what is expected on me, and im afraid someone would ask me at some point why im not as productive as I used to be.

nobody asked me anything but i just feel kinda guilty and miss having the one job to focus on and taking credit for a lot of things and helping everyone, but at the same time i dont trust that the company cares about me enough to give me any guarantees or stocks or bonuses so i feel i need to keep growing my side hussle to have a safety net..

thank you for reading my rant

I often get angry at clients. Especially when keep trying to sneak in new requirements into an already frozen project. Like, were you asleep when we went through a month of design and vetted every pixel with you? Grateful the PM handles them with finesse.

Hey devrant!, I'm currently developing a hacker game! herer is a little sneak peak all the graphics are temp will be changed as soon as i get some cash! enjoy!

Marketing team built out some changes in the staging environment using the CMS, didn't test it, submitted a ticket for cloning with the note that they only changed the content of one page. I check and it works fine, complete the clone. Two weeks go by and I get a ticket saying one of the pages isn't working, I check and it doesn't work because it only exist in staging. Turns out they were hoping to sneak one by me and deploy something that they were trying to get printed for shipping that day in their original request. So now I have to spend the next hour running test, getting approvals, and deploying that page. I need to finish my CI/CD for this site.

When you hear your mum and dad talking about traveling abroad and when i sneak to them, they say "we won't go, so go and study, my honey."

*cries*

Working on it now! But I still have to keep it under the wraps 😉 here's a sneak peek though

I probably dont balance it well. I spend majority of my day either reading code, reading about code, or writing it. I would say my balance comes on the weekends. I hang out with my girl more and I not in front of the computer as much. But even on the weekends I sneak in a few hours of code. My leisure time is literally sitting at a starbucks with my favorite text editor listening to a playlist and coding. That's like total zen for me.

Trying and failing repeatedly to code up a gaussian blur function in delphi for a university computer graphics module assignment.

Over 5 days I re-create the code so many times I lost count. I think I managed to sneak 9 hrs of sleep in total for that week.

Good times...

I feel I need to write some side project summary somewhere.

So here it is about 3 months later:

- deleted 90% of code I created during last 3 months
- rewrote backed 5 times
- 200 lines POC still waiting to put in any meaningful architecture on frontend
- frontend part after aurelia, next, gatsby, react I think it would be vue powered by nuxtjs
- forced myself to buy food for whole week and don’t go out (except go running ) before I finish at least what I wrote on whiteboard

Now some positive news:

- there is not much left to be fucked up, removed or unnecessary added
- I think I got a plan
- this is probably first side project that makes me happy for such long time
- there is some probability it would help people and this is what I want to do in my life

Most important is that I know it would take at least half a year to do basic version of it and I don’t care.

Wish me luck so I can put some sneak peak after next 3 months.

I just got a call from Satya. He informed me that Microsoft has successfully acquired the Linux kernel and all future development will be closed sourced.

Here's a sneak peek of the official announcement:

There will be a newer version released tomorrow that will include the Windows desktop environment as well as patch a critical 0-day security flaw that was recently discovered in all versions of Linux.

To prevent exploitation, we will activate a kill switch which will disable all systems running any flavor of Linux next week.

Thus we advise you upgrade ASAP, existing users can get the latest version online for $500.

One of my greatest personal challenges has always been to try and balance "good enough asap" and "but I know how to do this better if I spend a few more days on it". I like to think I've gotten better at it; Leaving things be if they are to spec and keeping my implementations consistent with existing work even if I disagree with it being ideal.

Which makes this new project we're taking over my trial of fire. The combination of the codebase - a Vue app from a previous rant where Vue is mostly used as a callback function to alter the dom using the document api in plain js - and the expectation for us to implement new features and minor tweaks to a user base of literally 4 people is like a charicature of the type of work I struggle with.

Even writing all this I'm evaluating if I'd be able to remake it all from scratch fast enough to sneak it in without anyone noticing.

It's an uh, "opportunity" for me to learn how to handle these situations, I suppose. Have mercy.

If you are a product designer who looks at an app, adds in a "DISABLE ALL NOTIFICATION" button and still sends notifications after disabling..

If you think you've gained a wee bit extra marketing from your decision, know that the only thing you have achieved is me getting irritated and uninstalling your app.

Also, fuck you for thinking that any sane person would want to go rate your app on play store five times a day, even after I rated a 1 star earlier.

The app was actually well made by whoever the Dev's were. Moronic managers who make decisions to sneak in stupid aggressive marketing notifications should be made to sit in a room and click on the feature they wanted for an hour.

Don't try and sneak in to the tab club

I had this boss once who called himself a sitting bull sometimes. He was about 60, an absolute dictator, strong right wing and building an aura of fear around him. He had this emberassing macho attitude which was especially delicate since he was a protective of the female ceo. He talked to everyone, colleagues, customers, partners like they where enemys and was extemely aggressive towards everyone. Meetings where extremly emberassing because he insulted everyone (except us devs), talked much bs an didn't let anyone else speak - including customers.

He was also paranoid af. Once he talked the ceo into firing a team lead he disliked. Before the guy got to know this, he called me, and wanted me to sneak in his office, copy everything from his computer in case he would destroy everything when I realized he's fired. As if everything relevant wasn't on GitHub anyway and is if the poor guy would be uprofessional as sitting bull.

The sitting bull lead the department like a ponzi scheme: He required constantly new projects with funding for some years to maintain the old ones and their piles of tech debt. Dev team grew and grew but every insider knew the bubble will explode at one point. One of the last projects was a partner project with another institution. Naturally he didn't want us to do anything for this project but use our man power to rescue older ones. One pm guy was employed fifty percent as ours and fifty at the partner. So while months passt by and we delivered absolute nothing but lame excuses, his other employer started to ask questions. At one point I told him, and told his other employer afterwards, that the sitting bull never intended to anything for the project. When the sitting bull learned the pm. Guy told them the truth he called him a traitor and fired him instantly.

I left shortly after and the bubble imploded eventually. The sitting bull retired after an heart attack. From over twenty dev positions a single one remains and his main job to shit down one broken service after another...

I love developing with Python, just... python tries to sneak in!

It would seem that "code freeze" has become a meaningless term to our systems engineering team. Sure we can sneak in another feature or eight that you felt it beneath you to negotiate on time. That you couldn't make the decision on until now, even though your job is to make these decisions so that we can stay on schedule. This is why systems is a fucking year behind.

I'm seeing technologies arise that I can't use for my own work unless I sneak it in where possible.

How do you guys deal with looking for a new job while still working at your current job?
I’ve been having to sneak out of the office for phone interviews. Not fun…

So a recruiter for a company has been contacting me on LinkedIn. I finished what they wanted me to finish.

The recruiter takes several days to get back to me about the assessment I submitted (using xunit which I have never used and learned specifically for this position). The manager over developers was the one who linked up with me on LinkedIn and I messaged them on LinkedIn and they got back with me super quick and said he received the assessment and was going to look over it when he has free time.

Was it the right move to message the developer manager and go over the recruiter for the same company? Or does that show that I’m showing initiative that I want the position for their entry level spot?

He seemed super thrilled that I submitted the assessment in a timely manner and even took a sneak peak at it before he actually dove right into it. I’m really wanting my first developer job.

I learned to code on a jailbroken iPod touch around 2009. I wanted to compile some random project for jailbroken devices, but I had a windows comp (with dialup!!!), so I was like "why not do it on the iPod itself?". I didn't even have wifi, so I'd sneak out of my parents' house at night and steal the neighbor's (hey, I was 11 w/ overprotective parents who would freak out if I occupied the phone line w/ internet) to go read up on compilers, jailbreaking, etc etc. Eventually I got a working compiler and toolchain, but when I went to compile the project I wanted to use (and not just a test project that I found), it spat out errors. So I learned C/ObjC on my iPod. Turned out the project I was trying to compile was a load of BS, so I implemented my own version and put it on github. From a fuckin iPod. Win. It was some SBSettings control. Once upon a time, you had to jailbreak to get those cool slide up/down menus with the toggles for wifi, bluetooth, location, etc!!!

I'm supposed to QA/fix/debug someone else's work and this is just a sneak peek of what/who I'm dealing with. No appropriate use of classes, using ~, +, > everywhere that `!important` is used constantly. `col` directly after `col`, not to mention other disastrous html structure.

Hey dude, don't try to sneak a random piece of design in this project then force eng and product to argue wtf. We'll do whatever the company wants and y'all agree to, but seriously fuck that drama.

The name of this game is: Identify the Context.

Found this gem of a quote:
"There is enough space between shaft and belt to sneak."

Now, identify the context!

Maybe I can paint myself up like I'm 80 and sneak aboard a bus of senior citizens and then wash the makeup off on the other side

I don't understand why finding media that holds differences of personality type is supposed to mark me one way or another I didn't study psychology because I found people disinteresting.

And a decent enough story is a decent enough story.

Problem is.

In all cultures and subcultures some people are less appealing than others

Course these people are all unappealing at their core but sometimes the rather slow insidious and obvious attempts to sneak their weirdness Into storylines to make themselves seem almost pitiable or believable leads to alright productions

Where are we right now ?
A long way back it seems.
Why ?