Just had meeting with a potential client.
They wanted to move their existing website from the internet to the cloud 😲. I left so quick I forgot to take my business card back.

So, recently, a person in the US was arrested for stalking people.

The evidence was some data from google, a work computer and from a VPN provider.

Let's take a quick look at that VPN provider. It (PureVPN) says on their privacy policy page that they do NOT store logs.

Guess from what VPN provider the FBI got those logs? Yes, PureVPN!

Althouh I'm happy they got this creep off the street, it still means that PureVPN has been lying to its entire customer base.

I personally hope that their reputation will be destroyed now because this should never happen.

A screenshot I took from their privacy policy page is attached below.

Keep your eyes open when choosing a VPN provider!

Conversation today...

Guy: "Hey I need a real quick script to pull some values out of an XML document...is that possible?"

Me: "Uh...yeah that's pretty simple if that's all it has to do."

Guy: "Ok excellent I'll send you some files and documentation."

Me: "Ok so is this like a one time use thing or do you need to parse multiple of these?"

Guy: "Actually it needs to run all the time, on this specific PC, watch directories for any files that are added, then generate a XLSX files of the values, and also log information to a database. Etc"

Me: "Oh that adds quite a bit of complexity from what you originally said. It's going to take more time."

Guy: "But you said it was easy."

Well fuck you...

Me: (putting headphones on)

Boss: You are an engineer. You need to focus. You cannot multitask. Nobody can. You need to concentrate on the work and deliver. If you ...blah.blah.blah.

Me: 😃 hmm yes you are right (dying on the inside)

Boss: if you are listening songs, your attention is towards that, you learn nothing of what you are working on.

Me: 😃 True Indeed.

Inner me 👿: Motherfucker. I use headphones so I don't have to listen to you giggling about with your mates in a bragging battle, in a language I do not understand, which is noise to me.
And technically, I do not listen to songs, I listen to music, while doing repeated tasks, so that I can overcome the boredom and do it quick in a rhythm.
But you wouldn't understand now, would you, YOU OLD FART, you fuckin Remnant of the Ancient times.

*On a programming support forum*

Guy: My compiler keeps throwing null pointer exception at line 128.
Me: Ok. Can you post your code real quick so I could figure out what is null at line 128?
Guy: No I'm not going to show my code to someone on the internet. What if you want to steal my code?
My mind: "Dude wtf why would I steal someone's code on a support forum?"
Me: *Use the next 15 minutes explaining that showing the code is necessary so that others can actually help him, and that no one on a support forum is going to steal his code.*
Guy: "You know what I'm more convinced that you want to copy my code. I might as well just try to fix this on my own."

What?

Wow. I just got fiber.

I fell in the floor the internet was so quick.

My eyes are burning.

Im not sure i can deal with this.

I started in 2015 at my current job. The first contract was for a year, very normal in the Netherlands. Also, I had only 6 months of professional experience with programming.
I already knew that I would replace an older colleague who's going to retire and I would get some of his responsibilities.

One year later (6 months ago) I had an evaluation with my boss. He told me he was proud I learned everything so quick and offered me a permanent position and wanted me to take over one of the major products we sell. Even more, he wanted me to decide how to change the framework since it's over 20years old. (Multiple languages combined)

I am currently working on a new design and UX as well, which I presented last year. The love it.

I've never felt so appreciated and valued before.

"I'm just trying to replicate {ticket-1234} so I can write a quick hotfix."

- "Oh, it doesn't work on dev."

- "So... I have to test on stage?"

- "It doesn't work on stage either."

- "Uh, on prod?"

*office laughs*

We're doing it live folks.

Goddamn I'm retarded to the next level.

Rebooted my phone a few days ago, some stuff didn't work well anymore and I'm looking for a new one which supports custom roms but I shouldn't spend too much right now so I thought I'd let it go for now.

Rebooted again last night and the network time wouldn't set properly so set it manually. Today I suddenly noticed that any app/page loading through a secure connection wasn't loading at all.

This to the goddamn point that my phone was becoming useless.

Started to search for a quick, cheap replacement supporting custom roms while debugging on and on.

I just (now) looked at the date and BAM, it hit me: I set it to one month earlier.

Mother of god I'm stupid. Brain fart to the max.

3 hours of interview end up asking me

“Are you Chinese”
“Why don’t you look and sound Chinese”
“We only hire Chinese speaking candidate”

After told them that I withdraw my application as they only hire “Chinese speaking candidate” , they started to yell “you not professional , you waste time , I will ban you for life, you quick quick go away.”

So I ended up telling people not to join that company.

Boss: Oh can you add this feature?
Me: I added that function already and you said to take it out.
Boss: Can't you just copy and paste it from an earlier version?
Me: No its really not that simple, I removed a bunch of tables and went to town cleaning the code so it's super quick and "sexy fast" as you put it.
I go home, work all night and forget to eat.
nextDay++;
Boss: Actually just hold back on that, I'm having second thoughts.

When a project seems to be in an endless for (fucks sake) loop.

Manager: I need you to come up with a quick, temporary solution.

Me: Ok...but it will be kind of hackish and ugly.

Manager: Yes that's completely understandable.

Me: So again you say this is just temporary right?

Manager: Yes we will come up with a permanent solution soon.

*that was over a year ago and the "temporary" solution is not-so-temporary it seems*

Finally got a job. The process was quick af! Hired in like a hour.

At least now I can't be homeless.

But I'm getting married Saturday, so this means one thing:

I'm a have to work while on honeymoon hahahah

My girl gonna be pissed but glad that I'm not broke

FUCK.

That feeling when you get inspired with an idea for a web app, do a quick search and find out there are already 2-3 sites that offer exactly what you envisioned...

My motivation just sinks so low after cases like this!

PISS.

Dev: Breaks unit tests

Same dev: Merges it to master anyway

Same fucking dev: Can't merge to master coz CI is screaming at you? Merge locally and FORCE push.

Me: Hi, I'm blocked. I can't merge to master coz of this failing test, can we get on a quick call and figure this out?

Same fucking fuckface dev: *after 3 fucking days* Yeah, I don't know why it's failing.. the results seem to be inconsistent..

Jesus Christ. I am so close to leaving this side-project because of the frequent shit I have to go through with this fucking idiot.

God I wish I didn't need the money.

Okay so about a year ago these FUKKING IDIOTS decides, against my recommendation, to do this quick-ugly-hack and ninja it into production.
I tell them its a FUCKING BAD idea that will blow up in a year or so...
But no, just go go go!!!!!!!

Now a year later, shit blew up badly. A total FUCKING derail. These new idiots asks me to "fix the problem", the same fucking problem I predicted and warned them about a year ago. So now i have to clean up their ducking mess because "Nobody else knows how to fix it".
What the FUCKING HELL do we pay them fuckkkers to do?!!

New idiots you ask? Yep, because 3 out of the 4 original fucktards already left the place in order to go and make some other new collegues lives fucking miserable.

FUCK YOU FUCKING MOOTHERFUUUKKKEEERRRRRSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey devRanters! A tiny update regarding the privacy tips etc site.

So as ewpratten doesn't have much time right now, I'm doing frontend as well for now.

Since some people also offered to contribute content, which I did not expect, I am also writing an invite/registration (based on invites) as we speak. So, this way, I can invite anyone (based on email address) into the CMS so that they can contribute content as well!

Regarding frontend, I'm introducing a system with icons. Icons? Yes, icons, let me explain:

Every application/service will get a couple of default filtering thingies. (not like clicking something and it'll filter anything out, yet) It'll enable users to see what an application does or does not. What the FUCK do you mean? Alright, so, as example, lets say open source. next to each application (read application/service) listed, there will be an open source icon. If the application is open source, this icon will be green, otherwise it will be red.

This will allow for a quick way of filtering stuff out.

For example, if you're only looking for open source stuff, you can quickly filter stuff out where the open source icon is red!

This will apply to things as open sourceness, metadata saving, usage of good crypto technology and so on. So you'll be able to quickly filter out the stuff you want to use (by eyes) through those filters!

Please let me know what you think and if you have ideas, I'll be glad to hear them!

Fucking crunchyroll hardcodes their access tokens in a Constants Class in their APK, technically that is a security issue.

What the actual fuck Crunchyroll!? No fucking wonder you got DNS Hijacked so quick, security is literally your second priority you dumbed down twats, get some real devs and some real QAs for fucking god sakes, you're tearing down your own system by inviting exploits.

My laptop had a full meltdown and wouldn't turn on. It tried to start up then the screen went blank. It's happened before so I lost hope pretty quick.

Just spent the whole evening trying to fix it reinstalling windows and now I spot the problem. The HDMI is plugged in to a monitor that was off. My laptop was fine the whole time. Fml

Started this machine for the first time after 18 years!!

IBM R51 (32 bit single core Pentium M), 1gb RAM, 40gb old mechanical hdd.

Installed Ubuntu 12 (32 bit from old iso) , installed some educational software to teach mouse n keyboard (my daughter is good in touchscreen on ipad), she is getting hang of mouse so quick, amazed how fast kids learn, wish I could be so fast too.

All,

Let's have a quick meeting about today's meeting so we can plan our meeting for tomorrows meeting. Thanks!

Thanks,
Kill myself

As a frontend dev, i love watching our backend devs sometimes go like "hey come on it's just css I can do it real quick, let me do it this time" and get super frustrated with failure. Buddy, one of the reasons frontend is not so easy is that it can be real fucking annoying. I'm keeping my distance and respect for your side so stay the fuck away from my dance floor.

This happens nearly every sprint.

TEAM: So, are you happy with how we are going to make this feature?

Business: Yeah, we really need it! It's exactly list that! Quick build! 🏗

TEAM: You're sure.... remember what happened last time...

Business: yeah, yeah, yeah

TEAM: ☕️💻

one week later....

Business: Oh yeah, that thing, we changed our mind we don't want it can you do something else?

TEAM: ...

Business: Agile!!!!!!!!!

TEAM: 🤦‍♂️

Found out they all went on a 2 day course to learn SCRUM...

The first time I ever did a PR on Github, I forked the repo, did the fix, committed the file and put the merge target to my fork master instead of the original repo master.

I then proceeded to accept my own PR and got so excited that it was so quick to merge.

Senior leadership: "We've had great feedback that these short, quick meetings are highly valuable, so we are going to make them longer."

Gotta love well meaning juniors with completely misplaced intentions.

Nathan: "Hey, do you want a quick 5 minute demo of the code we've changed to move to library version x?"

Almond: "Sure (I wasn't that fussed about moving to library x, but he seemed determined and there's some nice to haves with bumping the version, so we approved it.)"

Nathan: "Cool, so we have this built here, and..."

Almond: "...wait, that's not our CI system!"

Nathan: "Yeah, so I moved to a new CI system too because we couldn't get that working in the old one"

Almond: "...right, we'll need to discuss that, because..."

Nathan: "Sure, we also moved the templating engine as well as there were more examples using this one with library x"

Almond: "...yeah, so I don't think we're looking to switch the templating engine because..."

Nathan: "...and you guys also need to change a bunch of your code as it's all broken since we put the new version in, most of the tests fail..."

Great... so we've got a branch that breaks a bunch of code, switches the templating engine to one we don't want to use, and switches the CI to the one the company is trying to actively migrate away from...

Almond: "We're going to need longer than 5 minutes. I'll put something in the calendar."

🤦‍♂️😬😠

>Answered my first question on SO
>Comment: "It's a wrong answer"
>Me: "Do you mind telling me why, so i can fix it? It could still help the op"
>
>
>

I see. You were quick to tell me I was wrong, but don't tell me why. Alright then.

So our company's internet was down. Network admin was really pissed as there is suppose to be a notification from the ISP about down time. Network admin called the ISP customer services to inquire about the problem and they said "Sir, we wanted to email you but our network was down too."
Admin turned from being really angry to laughing out loud real quick...

I am DONE with this woman CONTINUED!

I didn't think I'd have to put another rant about this stupidity at least not this soon but she just keeps on giving!

I have my noise canceling headphones on most of the time and when I want to hear the people around, I just put the right earcup of it to the side of my ear so the music pauses. Today we had a huge disrupt on our services because of a network switch error on the hub. I was also trying to focus on my coding as I didn't wanna do a stupid mistake on the last working day and be sorry about it in the next week.

So this woman sneaks up on me from behind calling my name - meaning she has a question, surprise! -, I say 'yes' moving my head to her side ever so slightly without getting my eyes off of my screen stating subtly that I'm also listening to her while trying to focus on my shit. She starts yelling at me 'look at me!' out of nowhere! I turn my head and ask what the problem is and she asks why I'm not looking at her face! Stupid moron, I might not be too good in understanding your way of communication but you are the one asking so you WILL wait if you'd like to hear answers.

I say I'm working on something and her answer is again 'Why aren't you looking at my face it's going to be quick bla bla did we do this like that?' and I answered I didn't remember because there's no way I'd ever remember without looking further and it was no lie.

This woman clearly has stability issues and everyone else seem to be tolerating it. It's now obvious as I'm not tolerating the nonsense I'll be the one that 'she only has ever had a problem with'.

I was quick to de escalate the situation but now I'm thinking maybe I should've responded in a way that she could understand. I wouldn't ever give a shit about it but this is getting ridiculous.

No comments allowed in JSON pisses me off so much.

Sure, I get all the arguments of "it's supposed to be a data-only format for machines", "there are alternatives which support comments", and "you can add comments and then minify the file before parsing"

But right now, when I just need to put a quick note inside a super confusing legacy package manager config about why certain dependencies to be frozen at a specific version, IT FUCKING PISSES ME OFF THAT I CAN'T JUST ADD A FUCKING COMMENT.

Never thought I will be hired by Chinese software/hardware company located in NYC to code in languages I don't know so well. Instead of lying and saying I know everything about C, PHP and SQL, I said that I suck pretty much at everything, but I'm a quick learner and will study day and night to catch up with their practices. Now I see they have no regret about me, but I still suspect them in hiring me because there is another guy who is Russian too and we all communicate well. Our current squad is 17 Chinese, 2 Russians, 1 Americans. Guess what, I learn Mandarin quicker than PHP. Sometimes a small lie is OK, but sometimes honesty is better.

Probably the jankiest fan that I've ever built 😂
I just need it to not sweat gallons on the bus and needed it to be done quick and dirty to not miss the bus so meh.. kinda curious about the looks that I'll get for using this thing to cool myself though 🙃

So python, who knew it could automate a lot of crappy tasks 😎
Actually I did, but god it’s so quick and easy to implement than expected.

I have a new formed respect for python devs after my day of web crawling and ftp transfers and outlook mining 😘

My wife wouldn't stop asking me to help her with FB. As a joke I told her if she didn't quit, I'd delete it (Tech stuff goes over her head like a 747). Well, she kept on so I opened up the Dev tools. I started by adding just some non sense to one of the divs. She saw it pop up on screen and was like "Wait...you can really do that?" then I highlighted the body tag and hit backspace. The whole thing disappeared, it was great. She legit freaked out for a minute and begged me to fix it. I popped up the console and started typing random things. Created an array with some mumbo-jumbo, a couple of quick, meaningless functions and snuck hitting Ctrl+R in there, refreshing the page. She was so happy that Facebook worked again, that she stopped asking me how to do whatever it was

So I'm sick. But my inner coder tells me that I could atleast do some basic design for my project.

So I go to sit down at my home computer and immediately feel my nose literally start dripping of snot as soon as I lean in to sit. So lile any normal man i take a tissue, wipe and blow my nose and it's now time to login on the computer.

*Wrong password*

Oh, I've must been to quick

*Try again*
*Wrong password*

Wtf?!

*Slowly type my password in*
*Wrong password*

*Fuck it, show password*

A space is missing.
Alright I'll just add it in then.

*Tap spacebar*
*Nothing*
*Tap harder*
*Nothing*

So I rip out the space bar and find a two little drops of snot that must have juuuust fallen between the cracks.
I tried to wipe it away and put the space bar back, but it's dead. :(

So I watched this video that tries to convince people, that the jQuery library isn't really best practice anymore and showed how you can achieve basic tasks with vanilla JS, aswell as some frameworks (Vue, React, Angualar) and how they handle interactions with the DOM.

It also talked about how nearly every JS question on SO has top answers using jQuery, and how that's a bad thing.

But what I found in the comment section of this video was pure horror: So-called "Developers" defending jQuery to the death. Of course there were some people who made some viable arguments (legacy code, quick & dirty projects), but the overwhelming majority were people making absurd claims and they seemed quit self-confident.

GOSH!

Want an example?
Look:

TM: Hey, do you have a moment?

Me: not really, I'm already overtime and have enough work for the whole year.

TM: Yeah, we know. Just a quick meeting to discuss something awkward.

Me: Hmkay.

...

Later that day:

TM: Yeah. To make it quick - we're confused and bit dissatisfied with how project X turned out. The staging server is blazing fast, but the devs machines seem to be extremely slow... Some devs complained.

Me: No wonder. I said from the beginning that the devs shouldn't do X and Y, and that the dev machines need to be redone after staging is done - as we need to gather hands on experience first, cause no one could explain to me what resources the project actually needed.

TM: Oh. I wasn't aware of that.

Me: I guessed so. You were on vacation at the beginning and I didn't had the time to lead another team...

TM: Yeah... So the dev machines get replaced?

Me: They _could_ be replaced, but the devs would need to reset up their environment, as I and won't transfer the environment of the dev user.

TM: Ah... So they would have to retransfer their personal modifications, if they made any?

Me: Yes. As always, the basic setup just provides the necessary services, settings etc. - stuff like remote IDE settings on the machine, configuration etc is left out and we don't transfer it as it is usually too much of a hassle and risky, as every dev does have his / her own preferences, and we don't want to support every possible configuration out there.

TM: Just out of curiosity... Staging was ready like... Last year?

Me: Beginning of December, yes.

TM: Sigh.

Me: The jolly of having a kinder garten full of toys that no kid wants to clean up...

TM: No comment. The kinder garten Kids might make me a Pinata otherwise.

Me: If only they'd fill us with chocolate first instead of just beating us.

...

Tales of lazy devs, to be continued...

So, 27 hours. 27 hours I've been awake at this point.

I was actually planning on sleeping last night, but I was talking to my ex for a while (until around 2 am). Beat Portal again. Decided to get a thing or two done real quick. By the time I got that shit done, it was like 5, and I have to be up at like 6:45, so I felt like sleeping wasn't worth it anymore. Had a fairly good day at school, managed to stay awake (even through AP chemistry!), kinda started talking to a girl.

I'm fucking tired guys.

Quick question.

The domain name I wanted was taken, and the person who bought it refused my offer.
So, I'm going to change it up a bit. Which one should I go for?

michelle-midnight.com (the dash might be a bad a idea.)

authormichellemidnight.com (this is way too long.)

We have a huge codebase, built during the last 10 years, with a lot of problems caused by legacy dependencies. We are trying to modernize this gradually but it is very challenging because we have a lot of features to maintain and test coverage is low.

Today, a guy hired three days ago just proposed to rebuilt everything from scratch stating that he did the same thing in his personal project, so it wouldn't take too much to develop what we need.

Manager gently invited him having a quick call. I would pay to listen that conversation.

Minecrafters, come here :)

So, as I wrote before, I'm working on a custom minigame network called Silverfern, I've planned the grand opening for the 1st of February, which is my birthday. Now, the minigame base and 1 fast minigame is ready, the only real thing we have to finish is the punish system (ban/mutes) and a quick anticheat. I need to finish them before the grand opening, I hope I'll be fast and code good enough.

I've started working on it 1.5 years ago, I hope we can see on the server on February the 1st!

Put away the keyboard. Think about what you're going to do, chart it out, work through the logic and then, when the entire construct is before you, you start typing.

Yes it will take longer, you're a junior, enjoy that nobody expects you to do miracles (yet) and take the time, you'll get it back when you're so used to working through logical problems that it happens on its own as soon as you hear about the problem.

Cutting corners and "hacking a quick solution" without fucking over the entire system is an art form. Before you do art learn your damn craft.

so im deciding to byte the bullet and roll down the angular road.

install node they say, its quick and easy they say... 1 hour later after

./configure
make

im starting to wonder if i made the right decision.

Yeah, so that ‘quick fix’ to the legacy code actually broke everything and I’m not sure why. Ciao!

Time to go to bed.

Why not trying this lib ? it's not that late, let's give it a try for an hour and then --> sleep.

Woaw what, two hours passed already ? I was just still beginning to have fun ! so frustrating. Na, I could not sleep if I'm frustrated, let's dig deeper for 30min and then, go !

shit it's been an hour already, man, go to sleep now ! ...Actually it's too late already, better not sleeping and keep digging !

In the morning : can't wake up, tonight I promise, I go sleep at nine.

In the evening : oh new angular ! could worth a quick try before sleep !

Its been a few hours, and i was busy with meetings but

THANK Y'ALL FOR 10K ++

I remember wk20something, when i joined devrant. I was just starting a job as a data analyst, and the wk at that time spoke to me on a personal level, so i wrote a quick rant and didnt give it much thought. The next day i opened devrant and had like 100++s and a bunch of comments. Since then ive met a lot of awesome people here and im happy i clicked the install button back then. Thanks cfox and brogus for the opportunity, love ya.

Already got a longboard as a 10k-day gift :^)

I fucking hate ppl who transferred from business program into the CS program. They are all talk and no action. Literally this girl who claim to be “good at algorithm” doesn’t even know how to write a quick sort. In the past 2 months I have received more request from business program students to “help debug program” than all of the other departments (science, engineering) combined. Worse, some just straight ask for my code so they can copy off my implementation.

Seriously, it’s okay if you don’t know how to do stuff. But it’s not okay if you don’t want to learn AND feel so fucking entitled. I have a lot of homework as well, it’s not my responsibility to **help** you.

Because I’m a fucking cowboy and a charlatan, and because I hate sleep and despise feeling refreshed and happy, I’m working pretty much full time as a contractor (I’m the full stack dev. I do everything) on a (well funded) startup alongside my day job.

Tonight I had to make some quick (lol “quick”) changes to a core piece of the platform.

Now before continuing please refer back to the first line of this rant.

So instead of writing new functionality, I copied and pasted another section.

I renamed all references of “new_order” to, cleverly “new_order2”.

I know.

I deploy to production...

My phone starts blowing up. In short, everything is fucked.

I’m going over the query, checking the production database. Why is this manifesting like this? It all looks correct.

2 HOURS of broken sales, pissed off customers, pissed off service agents and I see that there was still one reference of “new_order” that should have been “new_order2”.

I am a piece of shit.

A friend of mine got an account hacked on Crunchyroll. Whenever he tried to login, the website told him that no account with his email existed. As I had two accounts, I tried something real quick. I logged in to the account I'm not using and tried to change the email address to a 10 minute mail. I logged into my own email account patiently waiting for a confirmation email. After 10 minutes I still hadn't received it. So I checked the 10 minute mail, and there it was. I can't describe how furious I got with Crunchyroll at that point. Are you for real? It's that easy? Fucking idiots. I hope the guy responsible for that system dies in a fire with a thousand rubber penises up his ass!

So, tonight I didn't really have much planned (I found out) so when I mentioned a side-remark my boss was quick to suggest an evening phone meeting, which I couldn't turn down...
So tonight we've cleaned and archived in our repositories, weeded out teams, member permissions, and such...

The thing is; I like my boss and he's much more of a friend, so when I mentioned that a cleaning would be good, he suggested to do it over a glass or two of something good :)
We ended up spending an hour or two getting a lot closer to the bottom of things — beer in hand and laughs in the air :)

As someone who doesn't know a lot about JavaScript, but occasionally needs to create some quick and simple scripts, I swear I'm going to kill someone if I read "just use jQuery" one more time on SO.

Me: We have a bug, we are not sure what's really happening yet. We have to look into it.

Project manager: what's happening

Me: We dont know yet

Project manager: How much time will it take to fix it

Me: We dont kn... actually *quick maths* unknown multiplied by "I dont know" divided by logic and addition of past experience - how many times we cant put time on bugs multiplied by we have been here before subtracted by the sqaure root of can we have time to investigate first?

Me: ....mhh an hour or so (then I remember Harry Potter wasnt my classmate) oh actually 2 hrs (in my head, safer)

Bug takes 2 days to solve 🙃

Project manager: you said 2hrs

Me to myself: I said it's a bug. A damn bug.

Saw a rant about a teacher so I thought I'd share one of my experiences.

So I had this teacher who was supposed to teach us the basics of web development (HTML, CSS and some basic PHP).
Now this guy didn't really like me very much but that is besides the point.
One day me and a classmate were working on an assignment in class, we ran into a problem but we couldn't find the mistake in the code. So we went to ask the teacher. We explain the whole thing, the teacher stares at our code for a good couple minutes (while the problem can only be in a few lines) and then says something along the lines off: "I don't like that you put your curly brackets on the same line as the if statement, fix that first and then come back"

Needless to say, my classmate and I were standing there with our minds blown.

He knew nothing about PHP, all he did was read out power points.
On top of that, a quick LinkedIn search proved that he normally works as PM an that he has no coding experience!

WHY WAS THIS DUDE FUCKING HIRED????

So we're making a desktop app using Electron and I got super excited when I ran the quick start thinking, "Wow, I'm actually going to develop a desktop app!"

But then the reality hit me that I'm still technically working with HTML and all and that I should be ashamed of calling myself a dev over this so how I'm cry-studying it's documentation while testing different stuff.

How difficult is it to do things and do them properly? Clearly in 2019, very difficult. And why on Earth would you do things properly, when there's get rich quick schemes, shortcuts to be found and taken, and that filthy filthy legal tender. If the shitty implementation makes a profit, why do it properly? Makes no sense.

Except it fucking does. And you know why? Because of the guy that comes after you, that works with your fucking bullshit implementation and probably curses you to the moon and beyond in the process. Just like you probably did with the guy that came before you, with that bullshit you got tasked to work with. Don't be that guy. And don't be that guy to the next guy.

Still with me? Good. Here's the thing. You can do [insert job here] quick and dirty. But you're guaranteed to be checking back on it and fixing the crap later on. Or worse yet, someone else will be cursing you to the moon and beyond while they are fixing / working around your crap. So why not do it right in the first place? Is this why we can't have nice things?

One of the first attempts to use machine learning in chess computing yielded interesting results. The AI that was fed hundreds of thousands of historic grandmaster matches immediately sacrificed the queen, smashing it over a random pawn. The reason? When a grandmaster sacrifices the queen, it is usually a hard, calculated decision that leads to winning. So, AI assumed that the best way to win is to sacrifice the queen as quick as possible.

Languages like python and R are some-what high level languages, with an easy syntax and very readable code. This useful essentially to make it easier for non-programmers to use it. For me as a software developer with +4 years of professional programming. I started with Assembly, Quick-Basic to C++, Java then C#, I found Python super convenient, and at times way too convenient.
At first it felt like I was cheating, and would not consider myself actually writing code, more like pseudo-coding.
After a year or so, I got used to it and it became my default, but it still does not feel right .. is anyone else feeling the same?
I do believe that coding the hard way is not always the right way, but I am just wired that way.

Mom: "so... you do things with the computer, but what do those things do?" or "I have no clue what you just said, but good luck with that"

Father: "couldn't you have gotten a real job? Like machining or warehouse management, where actual work can be seen rather than sitting on your &ss all day, typing on that keyboard"
- he changed his view real quick when I showed him my paycheck. ($3/ hr more than him)

Brother: "cool"

Ex-gf: "I hate you" (more because of my starting pay)

Needed to convert a collection of .avi videos to .mp4. Online converters only allow 1-2 videos at a time, with slow uploads, so no option.
Can't find a program that quickly fulfills my needs. Interesting ... 🤔
Look for python and a quick and dirty solution, ffmpeg and subprocess it shall be then.
Install ffmpeg, run subprocess with ffmpeg, put it inside a for loop, iterate over all videos with their respective number. Done.
3 lines of code, saved some time.
It's great to be a developer (sometimes).😏

I'm gonna decline the next time someone asks me "hop in chat with them" to discuss their stackoverflow problem.

I'd already given my two cents about the problem in question and I thought something was unclear about that so I say okay what the hell, made a chat room and invited him in.

Him: So I have this OTHER problem with [insert JS plugin]
Me: ... I don't know enough about it. I've used that specific plugin maybe once. The question I offered you my help with was PHP.
Him: Yeah but can you take a look really quick?
Me: I'd have to reread the documentation. I literally don't remember how to use it.
Him: No problem, here's the documentation. I want to do X, Y and Z.
Me: I don't think you can X without doing A and B first.
Him: I was told not to do A, so how can I do X, Y and Z?

Fucking hell I'm not gonna do your job for you. You know english. There is documentation available. Just read it and at least try things.

My windows laptop was having performance issues since last few days.
LAPTOP MAINTENANCE MODE ACTIVATED!
So scanned my whole system with an anti-virus, cleared unwanted data with Ccleaner, quick defragged the C drive, did system restore etc etc, still no luck.
Today I found out the reason: someone had turned the 'Power Options' to 'Power Saver'.

VSCodium, just for a little moment, please go fuck yourself.

I mostly use netbeans but for just a little I'm using VSCodium (VSCode without the Microsoft calling home bullshit).

Just had this error I didn't see that fast and then, usually, whenever you put your cursor on the tee underlined code, it tells you the error in this drive-by popup thingy.

The goddamn popup disappears so fucking quick that its impossible to read.

Ended up trying to capture a screenshot in time which worked at try number 10+, then saw the error and corrected it.

VSCodium go fuck yourself. I'm not ready for this shit when I've just woken up and haven't fully drank my first coffee yet (or this is more like a triple espresso as for strength)

😡

I know I was one at some point, but juniors can be so frustrating at times.

After some pairing for a while they're quick to adopt the "Dev" mindset and think as far as they need to...

... but with this latest batch... that day couldn't come sooner 🫠

Having to explain how exceptions work again is the last thing you wanna do under tight time constraints 🙃

A BIG SHOUTOUT TO MY FRIEND @theKarlisK

He is the real MVP.

We both spent the weekend to setup OpenVPN + Pi-Hole on Oracle free tier.

He hand held me through the entire process, was super patient with my silly queries and in fact explained me everything so well that it got imprinted in my mind.

And ofc, he was super quick to debug and resolve issues and handed me all the commands for quick execution.

Super glad to have worked with him on this project.

Sometimes hardest part of being dev is staying calm and trying to explain someone why something is a BAD idea, than see being ignored and just silently prepare fix so when shit goes south you can quick fix shit the other dude/dudette fucked up regardless of number of warnings.

Sigh, another dumpsterfire of this variety incoming.

So today I found a way to break into any Apple Mac (provided the exploit hasn't been fixed by the owner) and access all private files, as long as I have physical access to it, in less than 5 minutes.

After finding this, a quick Google on the method reveals this has been a workaround for years.

And to think I once praised Apple for their security standards.

Edit: this was done to an in-house Mac that my company own, and had been password locked by a member of staff who had been fired, but held important company documents on the computer. It was in no way a breach of privacy.

Have an 'anger' project open to the side, so when you get annoyed or tired of the paid work, take a quick break and jump into that project to clear your head, even if it is just a simple command line tool, done it before and it's quite a good thing from experience

Quick tip: ! means NOT. So !rant is a post which isn't a rant. !question doesn't indicate that the post is a question, but rather the opposite (and therefore there isn't really a need for that tag). You might also see something like !!rant which is the same as writing rant (that tag is also unnecessary, considering the name of the app)

Quick maffs:
git checkout -
will switch to a branch you previously checked out. So you can quickly switch between branches

I'm hal laughting, half facepaling.

Use multiple servers they said
It's gonna balance automaticlly your load they said.

Well, they didn';t accoubnt for a MEGA badly writen API whic can block a whole server for a minute.

Or, but it's not the end !!!

So you see ? 1 at 100%, 1 at 0% ? Quick maths : Average 50%.

Autoscaling kicks in at average 40% for 2 minutes.

So it kicks in... Created a 3d server... Which is still booting !!

And some trafic redirected there.

Sooo. Users on a 100% server : Bad bad bad for them
Users on 0% server : No problems
users on a new 3d server : Wait 15 seconds, then it's like 0%.

Fun fun fun. At least I know now which fucking API does that.

Got a notification from devRant. Saw that my post got 30++, Paused music and stopped opening my js files on my project, wrote a quick email to stickers@devrant.io, and then ended up browsing for so long I do not even know/ realize what time it is now, and certainly not what the time was when I started.

I hate that I have to be careful of what I say about specific languages so that I don't hurt peoples feelings. If you get upset because someone called Java or PHP ugly, get over it.

All languages are shit. If you have a favorite, good for you. IMO you only limit yourself if you think that .Net is always the answer, or if you think that every project needs to be in a JVM.

We often forget to ask why a language exists before we start to use it. No sane person is going to use Java to develop a quick one time script. Same can be said for all languages.

So when someone tells you, "Python sucks" they probably mean, "Python sucks for this use case". Except for Perl.

Fuck Perl.

Conversation that probably went down when they designed the pc case I use:

Person A: You know what we should do, we should design quick-release clip things so that you don't have to use tools in order to install or remove a hard drive.
Person B: That's a great idea! Should we also have the opening for the drives to slide in to on the side so the user has easy access to the drives. Or at least make the front panel completely removable for this purpose.
A: No, let's have him remove the fucking gpu in order to install a new drive.
B: That sounds impractical!
A: Fuck it, you know what, lets design it so bad that even that won't be enough. Let them take out the fucking whole motherboard, so basically let them disassemble the whole working pc in order to add a single drive! That will be hilarious!

I have a server. I want to filter connections to that server so only people on my work network can access the server. A quick search yielded my public IP address.

"Is this static?" I asked IT. "Do we have static IP address?"

"What do you mean? What do you need that for? You better know EXACTLY what you are doing before we release that information to you!!!! This needs to go to my manager. My manager is demanding to know why you want that information - we are having Network Engineering look into this request, someone will be in touch to find out more."

I have now been waiting for 3 hours. I think I will just go ahead and assume my IP is not going to change...

So, yet another "senior" web developer employed by my contractor who utterly fails to understand CORS.

I mean, easy enough to config their servers to provide the headers. A good and quick buck.

But I swear the level of idiocy I find in so called "seniors" infuriates me. I swear, he didn't even figure out that

A) you can't make the browser omit the Origin header.
(But it works on curl 😭😭😭)

B) it's the *server* who must include access-control-allow-origin in the response, not you in the request. Like, what use would that be? I don't even...

😞

I guess if I ever need to hire web devs again my only question during the interview will be "explain CORS to me".

I was bored, so I made a quick devRantron theme based on the green, black and violet found in Maniac Mansion. Its just a quick work, but it works for me.

Here is the string: #000000, #000000, #6ad070, #000000, #6ad070, #d37eee

So I thought “wow, alcohol aerosol should probably catch fire and burn really quick. I bet I can burn my hands if I do this”.

So I poured pure alcohol into a spray bottle and sprayed it right onto a lit up lighter in my hand.

It burned really quick.

I burned my hands.

I was right.

Affective disorder be like

So recently I completed side gig from random freelancing site where I had to shadow troubleshoot performance problems over teams call with random Indian guy on his client's AWS account. Long story short you can autoscale new instances all you want but it's not gonna help if your FIFO sqs has only one message group ID. This architecture is running an online game, which is basically limited to processing ONE event at the same time for ALL players xD
What's even better, basing on naming convention I realized it's a company that I interviewed for like 4 months ago and they told me "we need someone with more experience". Well good luck, thanks for quick cash

Me: I have so much to do! How the hell am I going to get all this done?!

**hears someone say something about some framework/library I don't know**

Me: hmmm let me google that real quick then I'll get back to work...

**3 hours later**

Me: damnit! I'm never going to get my work done!

The debugging process is often complicated.

There are often many factors involved in troubleshooting an error, but usually I have a hunch.

Sometimes I'll ignore my hunch and try other, smaller fixes first. This will irritate me for a while until I actually go after my hunch, run the program, and INSTANTLY everything works again.

Found myself relating that to real life today when I had a slight belly ache and eventually decided to take a massive shit and INSTANTLY felt better. The relief was so quick that I actually looked up and paused in surprise.

!Rant

Now that's how I like my operating systems!

Found these earlier on when shopping and was too cowardly to take a picture in the shop and leave them there, so I bought them. They taste nice too.

Like most women, my wife has a sweet tooth and I've told her that these are special biscuits for developers and she can't have any unless she can code.

She's now doing a quick JS console log of 'hello world' in Chrome whilst I make the tea!

I’m all for writing boolean statements that are readable, quick to grasp the real life case they’re representing and align with the spec rather than being ultra-reduced, but sometimes the spec is written by someone who clearly can’t reduce logic. So when the spec says “if it’s not the case that any of them are false” and you write:
!(!a || !b || !c || !d)
then I think you should try harder. At least put a note against the spec to say “i.e. if they’re all true” and then write the sensible code. Just think of the poor developer that might have to augment your code at a later date and has to follow and intercept that shite.

My man said "What should I return if the True/False field is left blank?"

WHY WOULD A BOOLEAN BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN TRUE OR FALSE???!!!

I'm gonna have an aneurysm. I shouldn't be educating people on best practices for something that's already been written about time and time again. RESTful philosophy has been documented so much, and all it takes is a quick google search, but noooo! I have to take time out of my day as if I'm a regular old stakeholder to explain that I want the exact thing that I sent in an email two weeks ago. Amazing.

So, I've been working as a developer for 15 years almost. I recently started what could reasonably be described as my dream job. As in absolutely fucking awesome. Really interesting product, sane technology, nice co-workers, decent salary, 100% remote.

So, why am I suffering from motivation issues? I find it difficult to get started on the simplest tasks. and looking at the check-ins from my coworkers is intimidating. I had a phase of burnout previously so I'm watching that in myself too...

So far the best solutions I've found are.
1 Coffee, lots of coffee.
2 quick catch-up calls so that I'm reassured I'm actually doing the right work and the quality is good enough.
3 following TDD strictly and not thinking too far ahead on each iteration. (I recommend "99 bottles of OOP")

My power switch stopped working, so I took this up as a quick early morning project.

There is always a fucking way!

Random story, I was working on a project a few years ago that had a very tight deadline and a lot of code to write. I had been working late in the office most evenings but one night myself and a colleague had stayed later than usual as we got carried away with supporting peripherals​ in the epos.
The cleaner came in on evenings and we had seen her that night, but had not heard anything for a while so when it came time to leave we figured we best lockup the 2 offices.

After making a quick pass through the building we couldn't see her so proceeded to lock up. Fortunately before setting the alarm we spotted her motorbike in the adjacent car park and decided to have another look.

I'm not quite sure why I decided to look in the tiny supply room/closet but fortunately I did as I found the cleaner standing in this tiny room​playing games on her phone 😂

"Don't go too crazy with the design, this is just quick to get it out, this is a one time deal" - management

Half a year later...

"Well if you would properly design components up front, it wouldn't be so hard to extend the code" - management

Well if there were some sort of god forsaken process in place, with assigned tasks, priorities, iterations, and conventions, maybe everything wouldn't be a last second shit show and there would actually be forward progress on a project instead of throwing shit over the wall and hoping everything lands in the correct places.

As I was refactoring a class in a TypeScript project, I changed calls from `this.config` to `this.getConfig()`.

Suddenly, the tests were failing as somehow the live credentials were used from within the test.

Digging deeper I discovered this.

interface Base {
public config;
public getConfig();
}

So far so good. Wondering why config needs to be public, though nothing too shabby, let's look further:

class MyImpl implements Base {
constructor() {
this.config = this.getConfig()
}

getConfig = () => someGlobalVar;
}

┻━┻︵ \(°□°)/ ︵ ┻━┻

Why would you do this? This breaks dependency injection completely.

In the tests, we were of course doing:

testMe = new MyImpl();
testMe.config = testConfig;

So even though you have a getter, you cannot call it safely as the global var would take precedence. It's rather used as a setter within the constructor. WTF.

Sad part is that this pattern is kept throughout the entire codebase. So yeah for consistency!?

(And yes, I found a quick workaround by doing

getConfig = () => this.config || someGlobalVar;

though still, who in their right mind would do something like this?)

Google's new feature is to show you a quick overview of a medical condition and it's so cool, I'm having a little stiffy as a medical IT student 😍

Why WordPress is not very good:
I wrote a quick 230 line python script that uses the power of urllib, ebooklib and 12 regular expressions that would make any italian proud to download webnovels from virlyce.com and turn them into .epub files for me.
The chapters are all individual WordPress pages, and after sequentially downloading only 202 of them I got an internal server error.
Why, WordPress?

Of course, I saw this coming and put mitmproxy to good use caching everything, so even though my python script with terrible error handling crashed I don't have to do it all again (yay)

Quick rant, I dont have time.

I have no idea how the fuck but I managed my IDE to show me that it's confused if my class "PackModel" is "PackModel" or "PackModel" (I have only one definition if you are hands first to ask).

its few years and first time when I see shit like that.

Fun fact, it was working OK until I used getter that was returning another object and than IDE got absolutely lost.

I had to use workaround in middle of nowhere as shown on image and suddenly its back fine with it. Not like it's returned by function hard typed and PHPDoc typed to return instance of this very object and in other scopes it just works...

It's Jetbrains so Im confused, it's robust IDE ;-;...

Would just like to give kudos to 343 for there work at bring halo to PC. They are actually being developers and not doing a rushed port with minimal tweaking...

It's great to see some Devs take pride in their work and not see it just as a quick job to rake in the money from fans...

Never thought I would give good credit to a Microsoft owned thing...

(I'm an Xbox gamer so i suppose I can't hate too much?)

So apparently Firefox can't handle (quick) animations from opacity 0 to opacity greater-than-zero and glitches around. Instead you need to animate starting from something greater than 0, like 0.001.

I had to debug this shit and it just adds to my reasons to dislike this browser.

The good and bads of Seoul subway system

So the subway here is clean.
Yes. Clean.
1000% cleaner than the one in Paris.
And it is super cool here.
Awesome air conditioning available here.

But, it isnt friendly to foreigners. They cant understand most of the announcement. Why? B'cuz it is mostly in Korean.

So today i experienced some foreigner desperately looking for help.

Our subway needed some quick fox or rest or whatever, so it had to stop and go to the garage(?).
If that happens, all passengers should get off the train.

B'cuz the announcement was in korean only, he was the only one who stayed in the train.

I wanted to go to him and say to come out, but because there was so many people around me, i just beckoned him to come out. He did.

I just felt sorry for no reason.

I mean, just.

I have some phone interviews coming up next week but I've never had these before. Usually I do online tests, shared code, or in person as I'm deaf.

This time I just want to try using a voice relay, so v basically whatever the person says it's transcribed... So wondering what do you actually talk about in these "quick calls"?

Party of the reason I don't like phone is because there are a lot of technical terms which will probably screw it up... But just wanted to give it a try and not 100% interested this time...

Was intending to, applied, then other things came up so now not so sure, some came back so just gonna wing it for the experience I guess

Today, in the course of my job, I said...

FFS. I HATE WINDOWS.

It has begun.

Took me five minutes to ssh into the Linux EC2 and get the Jenkins agent installed, configured, and running. Half a fucking hour for Windows Server 2012.

1) Can't ssh to it, so I connect via AWS console... Which means I have to install MS Remote Desktop. WHATEVER. FINE. It's not like ssh is quick and easy or anything.

2) Can't just use the command line, run the .jar &, cntl-z, and bg then log off. Noooo. I have to install the unpacked binaries as a fucking SERVICE. FINE. WHATEVER.

I'm so glad we have a Windows guy that does most of this shit. I can't stand it.

Interns' first day:
"Here is some documentation I found really handy, got me up and running quick"
"Here's a video series on the some of the stuff we work with and maintain. Found it super useful!"

Several months later:
They didn't use any of it, and I answer questions constantly. WHY!?

I started less than a year ago, and I'm the most senior on my team in this country. So it's all falling to me and I don't know how to hold their hands so they'll be able to learn and figure out what to do? Do I just start being rude and telling them to google things?

So they are back, wanting another quick PR approved.
The PR:

```
let isDisabled = switch quantity > 0 {
| true =>
switch value !== "" {
| true => false
| false =>
switch inputStatus {
| Valid =>
switch inputData {
| Ok(a) => a !== 0.0 ? false : true
| Error(_) => true
}
| _ => true
}
}
| false => true
}
```

Management: "You are the DBA and BI head right?"
Me: "yes..."
Management: "Awesome, so that means you can develop a quick software for me to use? It's really easy!"
Me: "Awesome, here are two options since its easy, you go make it yourself or..."
Management: "Is that sarcasm?"
Me: "...or you can ask the accountant to make it"
IT Director: "you deserved that bob."

I'm amazed so many people have "one" favourite editor. I have a whole bunch depending on the situation:

- IntelliJ whenever dealing with Java files
- VS whenever dealing with .NET
- VS code whenever dealing with Salesforce
- Notepad++ when just opening "any old file" to do some quick editing (never been won over to Sublime)
- vim when needing to edit files in a console environment
- nano as the second choice in the above situation when vim isn't available
- Emeditor when needing to open / work with very large files

I've never even remotely found a "one size fits all" solution.

I'm so done with these big boring technical programming books. So painful to read... I'll just watch some quick tuts and maybe, just Google what I need to know.

All I wanted to do was to create a quick cordova/phonegap app that uses external plugins - so I can't just preview it.

I ended up spending countless hours debugging why shit doesn't work through --log --verbose --debug, trying to avoid to install the monstrosity that is android studio and finally broke and installed it, fuck this shit.

---

Another post had to go for this. "I feel that's a lie [attached picture]".

So I've been really Ill the past few days, like litterly been in bed for two days, popping pills like there going out of fashion. I contact work and get the typical "get well soon" so I get a message today asking how I'm doing (still Ill), I said I'll be back Monday and ask if anything is urgent that needs to be done first thing. So I get a list:

Project A: Deadline Monday
Project B: final review Tuesday
Project C: Still waiting on feedback

So I ask any chance we can extend the deadlines by a day or so I have enough time to catch up even though I'm going to have to rush it as I've been off.

Answer.. nope there non negotiable.. oh

So they want basically three days work done in one day, given the fact I still might not be 100%. Jesus Christ 😂

Quick Edit, I wasn't told there were deadlines.

So I came up with an interesting idea for a quick side project. "Should be doable in an afternoon," I thought to myself.

Then I sat myself down and started diagramming all the components and sections I'd need to build. Suddenly, simple project no longer seems so simple.

...dammit, not again.

***ILLEGAL***
so its IPL(cricket) season in india, there is a OTT service called hotstar (its like netflix of india), the cricket streams exclusively on hotstar..
so a quick google search reveals literally thousands of emails & passwords, found a pastebin containing 500 emails&passwords ...but those are leaked last year most of passwords are changed & many of them enabled 2FA.. after looking through them we can find some passwords are similar to their emails , some contains birth year like 1975,1997 etc, some passwords end with 123 ..so after trying a few different versions of the passwords like
1) password123 -> password@123, password1234
2) passwordyear -> password@year
2) for passwords similar to emails, we can add 123 ,1234, @ etc
created a quick python script for sending login requests

so after like 30-40 mins of work, i have 7 working accounts

*for those who have basic idea of security practices you can skip this part

lessons learnt
1) enable 2FA
2) use strong passwords, if you change your password , new password should be very different from the old one

there are several thousands of leaked plaintext passwords for services like netflix,spotify, hulu etc, are easily available using simple google search,
after looking through & analysing thousands of them you can find many common passwords , common patterns
they may not be as obvious as password ,password123 but they are easily guessable.
mainly this is because these type of entertainment services are used by the average joe, they dont care about strong passwords, 2FA etc

I don't scream because my teams are in a different country and we communicate by IM and email.

I do write long ranting/passive-aggressive emails or type really quick replies when I'm pissed though. .

An example of the latter:

Boss: I need you to make a "quick" fix...
Me: hmm ok sounds like we should implement it like ...
Boss: I was thinking something like this... since it's a temp fix
Need: (typing faster) why is it a temp fix... why not builds it properly so it can be reused
Boss: but that takes time, this is quicker
Me: it's bad design because ... (Typing so fast I'm making typos)... Anyway I can do it. This is better...
Boss: ... ok fine... if you can finish it before deadline

Client wanted me to implement a "fix" for the site beeing to large on mobile. He had to scroll too long. I implemented a quick fix and turned the biggest list into a carousel with slick slider (awesome 5-minute-fix btw.)

But it depends on jQuery. I feel so dirty now. The sites amount of JavaScript is three times bigger now, too. Please, don't judge me. 😩

Just a quick rant on JavaScript,
So there’s a lot of people hating javascript, and while not a long time ago i was part of them, but I changed my opinion a little.

I think JavaScript is a great way to deal with website programming as it is quick and efficient, but I would not say to program directly on it, use a js-compilable language (CoffeScript, TypeScript, Kotlin(I think), etc.), but then you might say: “Well, no need for js then, compile it in byte code”. That would break the point of how I see web design/dev. The main intent behind webpages is to have an easy and fast way to send code to other computers to render them, that’s why it is interpreted: “Easy to send” and “*All* computers can handle it” with the proper browser. You need to be able to change the way the website is rendered and/or works sometimes, for diverse reasons like copy/pasting data, make it render properly or use plugins/add-ons to change that code to suit your needs.

I think js should be kept as a “readable byte-code”, so that means: {

Keep comments when compiling the js-compilable code,

Add standardized machine-readable comments that will indicate to smart code viewers how to show a particular thing (Like have a higher-end function compiled in js shown as a minimized code with explanations of the function)

Keep it nicely formated and don’t obfuscate (coz that’s annoying)

Etc.
}

So you bypass the quirks and all that pesky js stuff, while keeping it’s good sides.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-
Part 2:

Web design for non-web:

Ok so things like node.js, electron, react-native and all that stuff; I won’t say they’re bad but...

Why we have this is because web designers wanted to make desktop apps and were like “Hey! Making web pages is easy! Let’s port it to desktop”, the problem is: Web technologies were made to work on a restricted canvas, aka a browser. It’s good on web for reasons mention earlier and more. But it’s not on desktop! You’re trying to push it outside of those boundaries. It’s difficult to make it break that canvas and go outside, make something that really works! For social media clients and that kind of stuff that you want to make a little more inclusive, yes! it’s a great idea (hello devrantron ;), but not if it’s an exact same copy of the website, just use the website. But for things that are supposed to really make use of YOUR computer; no!

I see those PWA (progressive webapps aka mobile app, but it’s an offline website”), I stand for the same positions, social media and those sort of things: yes, great idea! Games? 🤢.

I have way more to say but I have difficulties to remember them while reading, so feel free to comment your thoughts

Lol, “just a quick rant”

I was going to show my boss DevRant. Due to my quick thinking of past and future rants pertaining to said boss, I decided not to. Quickly switching to Instagram seemed like I was in the clear, I just had to find a funny picture of... a DevRant ad... "Oh what's that app? Didn't you have that one?"
Then a client walked in!!!
Never have I been, nor will I even be, so relieved to have a client storm into the office!

A quick rant during work.
I like my coworkers, I really do but they've been so annoying the past few days ever since one of them bought a small nerf gun. Now three others have one too and they're constantly shooting at each other. They bought one of these nerf guns that you have to pull at the bottom to load it and they're pretty loud when you want to work.
I swear to god I'll go home and work from there if that continues

sitting at work handjamming xml, turn around and tell my senior dev"it would be great if i could write a program to just search this folder and grab all the names for me..." he looks at me like like i have about 20 heads and am an idiot, after about 2 minutes of staring at me he remembers im fairly new and just tells me its super easy in C#... so i learned C# real quick. Anything to make my job easier right?

**Attention @johnmelodyme and all AltRant testers**

I just pushed a quick bugfix update to AltRant, in the hope that it will fix the crashes that were reported. I felt like the app's dodgy situation wasn't up to my standard of quality so I worked as fast as I could to fix the issues, as people are actually starting to prefer my app over the original. Please make sure to perform a full reinstall of the app before continuing, because I actually wasn't experiencing the issues described in my initial testing before releasing the update that needed fixing.

I work with a few 'idea' and marketing guys. The quicker we can turn out a project, the quicker we can make money. Some days, I can get 3 quick, easy projects out. But sometimes, these guys get 'ideas' that are out of the norm so they can take a few days to get going.

One of the guys had an idea I knew was going to take longer than a day, especially with the rest of my daily tasks. This guy loves reading 'how to run a business' books and tries to say we need it today, 'nothing is impossible' (because it was in his book).

I explain reality to him and he gets all pissy. The following day he tried again, with something that would take less time. 'so, which one do you want? Yeah, I can do that one quicker, but the first one will take longer then.'

This guy don't get it. I will burn everyone of his fucking books.

The only 4 mobile games on all app stores: "shit for other consoles or PC or Flash ported badly to mobile for $5", "idle clicker don't-play-to-succeed game fuck you pay me to succeed faster", "complete XYZ random quick thing 300 billion times", and "free-to-make shit like chess or crosswords or w/e but bad so we make money on empty promises"

i just want something good to play when bored in the car or some shit without needing multiple devices

So I was setting up ELK (Elasticsearch, Logstash and Kibana) all in one EC2 on AWS today for demo purposes. I had everything prepared. Elastic IP, correct security group rules, etc.

I figured I would just do quick test before writing filters and templates if I can access Kibana. So I started service for it and tried to open it with Chrome.

Timeout.

Checked config file. Compared it to documentation. Seemed good but changed some things just for sake of change. Restarted service.

Timeout.

Reverted changes I've made in config. Restarted service. Curl on localhost. It work... OK. 😐

It took me half an hour but finally I figured it out after I took my phone and opened it from there. It was working from the beginning. Stupid company network was for some reason blocking this connection. Fuck! 😡And I was restarting that poor service like crazy trying to fix something that wasn't broken.

I need a quick break from an annoying Product Manager, so based on your experience:
Offend a software engineer in 5 words, I go first:
Can AI make it faster?
Me: ...exhaling...

I'm thinking of making a project that will help me during the upcoming school year. Pretty much an assistant that can fetch quick answers from google and a few other basic tasks. What projects have you guys done with your work? P.S. I might want one or two people to also contribute so comment down below if you'd like to help (won't be open source)

It's only Monday. Why do i feel so tired. T_T

Today's work:
- 3hrs check point meeting on Project A
- quick API fix, testing and dev assistance on Project A
- prelive deployment of Module B
- code review and enhancements for Script C
- prelive deployment and testing for Script C

This rant is about myself and anyone whos like me: using logs over a debugger

So, sometimes when I wanna quick check something or make sure, if and when something get's executed or I've ran into a Problem, I add a few log/print statements to check in console.

But I don't think about proper and helpful messages, since they aren't supposed to stay in code. So I often type what comes in my mind, like memes or song lyrics.

The last time this became a huge act, was Code review/ Prototype demonstration with Clients (which I didn't knew about, otherwise I would have removed them, I swear) and Boss and my Code printed "show bob and va...", "send nudes" and stuff... in loop... to stdout

Writing a full interpreter for a pseudo-assembly language.

It's kinda fun but the things a bit of a cunt of a problem because I only did this once before almost a decade and a half ago.

getting just the right format and deciding on the syntax is a slog. Just need something thats quick and sufficiently expressive because I'm not writing the assembly myself, I'm generating the assembly code that runs through the interpreter, so it has to be valid under a lot of conditions.

Them: I want to be a full stack developer!

Me: Are you sure?

Them: Yeah. absolutely I'll do whatever it takes!

Me: I'll hold you to that, I will piss you off everyday if I have to, to get you learning.

Them: OK, yeah, do it!

Some weeks later

Them: I want to be a front end developer, routing and models are confusing.

Me: I would laugh you out of an interview, keep practicing and just stick with one thing before chasing the next quick reward endeavor until the difficulty curve ramps up and you give up on that too!

Them: ... But it's hard...

Me: So practice, over and over until it sinks in, it's like playing the cello or whatever, just keep practicing!

Besides assorted craft materials and PC my desk has a dual purpose crocheted rubber duck: it serves as a pin cushion and my debugging friend! I made him and he has lived there since my first year of university.
I also keep a mug from my university, scented candles, notepad and pen (for all my tech savvy-ness, quick notes are still better handwritten) and whatever crafty project I'm working on.

My desk is honestly a mess (I have to clear it ~three times a week to have any space to work on) but they say creative people have messy workstations so I take my inability to keep an orderly environment as an expression of my creativity.

This week was one of those weeks were it feels like it's never ending
Monday, delayed trains and the legacy project's new update went live

Tuesday, not a lot of work so I did some self study (best day of the week)

Wednesday, again train delay, and some funny little sh*t ripped the valve from my bike... I mean sure if you let the air out, haha little fun but completely removing the valve? That's just f'n low...

Thursday, the legacy project had a weird bug that I can't reproduce but has to be fixed before the end of this week...

Friday... To be continued... I hope it will be a quiet quick and easy day... 😟

I was getting bored with programing cause a majority of it is boilerplate code then i heard of the Mirai virus. It infected alot of iot devices so I decided to look at it and it was written in golang. It is a beautifully written botnet even though they're parts where it could have been better. So i looked more into golang and saw that it could cross compile pretty easily and could build self contained binaries really easily. On top of all this i saw the smallest docker containers with golang programs so i looked into it more and kept finding more and more that i liked. Easy library packaging, concurancy without boilerplate, quick servers, and the libraries from other devs that did all kind of great things

Project manager: "What is a micro service? I'm dating a girl and she mentioned it and I want to impress her."

Me: "Well, you have monolithic services which tend to serve many different functions whereas a micro service tends to serve a single function or a few related functions. They are usually easier to scale and can be optimized to be faster. Still, right tool for the job."

Project manager: "Oh nice! So I can ask her 'Hey, want to see my micro service? It's quick and scalable.'"

-face palm-

He's leaving this week. I'm going to miss him though.

Seriously though, in that context, would scalability mean you're bringing friends?

First job and first days, boss comes to me with an urgent matter she nor other people were able to solve per her own words, it was something I hadn't even used before, a bug on a migration from versions between SSDTS projects, so she asks if I knew the technology, I answer no, but I'll try, so I started watching some tutorials and got hands on the project to know what it tried to accomplish, then in a couple of hours I found the bug in a connector it had with some other tech through a driver. Team went semi crazy like woah how you found that so quick, Bla blah... It felt good

My org (of which i'm basically CTO) has this administrative tool that a team uses to combat spam and scams, which is quite the problem for us.. the tool was written like 9 years ago, by my predecessor, very quick & dirty and unaesthetic and without input from those who would use it as far as interface or UX... it got modded a little a few years later by a kind of amateur coder who was at the time on the spam control team, and now there's this new maybe slightly less amateur coder guy on the team who has written this amateur tool that scrapes data off our site and massages it and stores it on his own server and then provides a better interface, or so they say.... this is all because for a couple of years people didnt want to "bother me" with a request to improve our internal tool, they thought I was "too busy" doing other things... so instead this outsider has built this stupid thing that lives on his own personal server and so now we have these problems to do with performance, security, privacy for user info, etc etc... someone please shoot me....

Why broken stuff is allowed through the door?

My Ubuntu, my Bluetooth headsets, Jira, my latest Google pixel, eCommerce shop where I purchase stuff everything lately seem to be full of bugs.

It seems like nobody cares about the quality of software pushed to production. Everyone is so quick to push those tickets into "released".

Fuck you, managers, shareholders, scrum masters, seniors who push developers to do stuff quickly rather than correctly.

!rant

I'm in big dilemma for a few days. About what to do to my HP stream. It was bought from overseas so it has licensed windows 10. It only has got 32GB for storage. And I only have like 1GB 2GB free space. I am using it for presentation, urgent quick code debug, watching movies and browsing internet.

So the dilemma is should I abandon the license windows 10 and install a lightweight Linux distro or not? 🤔

So I made my first rust program with just a quick look at the docs on for loops. 20 minutes from nothing to exe. Just fizz buzz but still. Took me 4 hours to get C++ compiling.

Hey guys and girls, quick question.
Im currently writing my own collection-framework in Go.
It has a Collection-Interface, that looks like this:
Clear()
Size() int
ToSlice() []interface{}
Add(...interface{}) error
Remove(...interface{}) error
Contains(...interface{}) (bool, error)

The library should also contains stuff like stacks and queues, so datastructures, that dont fit that interface perfectly.

So should i write a weird implementation of the interface for them, like Remove for stacks (high pitched internal screaming), or should i just say fuck it, and dont implement the Collection-Interface for these specific types ?

Don't you just love thise dev days that just flay by, looked at the clock now and its just after 5pm,been coding pretty much all day.

Was reading up on progressive Web apps last night and just as a quick test made my own website one, so this morning through I would take the next step.

Few months ago I had made an events list app for android, also just for fun, but I point blank refuse to take it to ios as I see no reason to spend nearly 6 weeks salary on a Mac book because they a bunch of dicks, not to mention the $100 you need to pay each year just for them to annoy you.

Anyway, so after a quick update to my api, no thanks to Gitlab. I put together a fully offline capable pwa in react. So awesome how simply it really was, it's basically done, just needs some polish.

Bloody superglue. Every time I think I'm remotely skilled enouh to make a "quick repair" using the stuff, it always goes beyond horribly wrong and ends up with blobs of superglue all over the desk, one hand stuck to the thing I'm meant to be repairing, and the other stuck to some random nearby object. Dahh. Seems so simple.

I'm sure there's a dev analogy there with your least favourite language too.

Reminded again why every professional developer should at least read and understand basic algorithms...

Colleague: I don't understand why this agregation query is so slow, the counting is on the DB.

This function used to work fine... Now it sometimes hangs.

Me thinking: why does everyone assume db has unlimited resources and computing power so everything should be quick (no time or space complexity)...

Maybe if everyone understood this stuff our code base wouldn't be so shitty from the start...

Needed a quick demo screenshot for a meeting, but didn't have a dev site yet; so, I used the inspector to edit a similar existing page to them take a screenshot. This took the last 20 or so minutes before leaving for the day, and then I accidentally clicked a link on the page, navigated away and lost all changes.

Quick tip:
When an answer in SO has more upvotes than the question, has so many comments, and has so many explanation, so many code, and so many links, IT HAS A HIGH POSSIBILITY THAT IT IS A TROLL.

God damn i hate when programmers don't have any humor, and leave a comment saying
TROLL. PLEASE STOP THIS. FUCK

Good thing, devRant is full of people who HAS humor. Thank goodness.

tl;dr gone off topic

wk8 responses so far have been WEAK.
Most of them follow the format:

I did <some minor mistake> but fortunately I was able to <make a quick fix> within <short period of time> so everything turned out ok.

Come on guys, where are the REAL fuck ups? The ones that got you fired/permanently banned from the company?

hey devs, quick question:
does rust support branchless conditionnals and jump tables, and if yes where to look for syntax?

i found no example for branchless so far and jump tables are scary in rust (and i need a library to use them, it seems).

inb4 "why in the hell/ what possible use those have?!":
i use branchless to make a looping array and jump tables whenever there's more than 4 if statements with equal probability, and the deciding factor is a numeric value, so quite often.

devrant.io a site designed for developers and aimed at a platform they don't use for rants.

The desktop website is a quick bodge of a job, but they spent allot of time on the mobile app instead...
I would of thought that devs would prefer to write their messages on keyboard since it is second nature to most.

Correct me if I am wrong, but has no one else thought about this? I mean the web app is literally just a letter box view so that the format is the same as mobile...

Coding in vim as a student:

[me]: hey, could you help me real quick?
[classmate]: Yeah sure. Okay, I see.
*classmate takes control of the keyboard*
[me]: wait-
[classmate]: see if you ju- wait, huh, what? Why can't I type?
[me]: sorry, I use vim.
[classmate]: this is stupid, you should use sublime it's so good
*classmate leaves*

😒

Trying to sleep. Looking at devRant. See a f ew rants about bugs which reminds me of my bug. Get out of bed and now behind my computer trying to fix the bug. Hope it's a quick one so I can go back to sleep

Most of my projects are based on one or few existing platforms, so core technology considerations are usually quick.

I like to wrap my head around the user stories first and then decide should this be more of a future-proof code, ie more extensible/generic, or just a code that will serve a few specific scenarios but would allow me to get it over with quickly.

I love when there is a 30 page quick start guide from which there are 4 usefull ones, which can be summed up into: find this hidden subsection in our app, click it, and click next 5 times(each beeing explained in multiple pages). After this you are done.

But you aren't because that thing just doesn't show up, so you go through google, so, the official faq and finally you just arrive into a trubleshooting guide, where int the 300 possible problems yours is not mentioned.

And after spending half a day on this, in a hidden bugreport you find, that this just doesn't work.

And you sart all over again with option 2 of the installation guide, which you were trying to avoid.

So my worst experience with a project manager was this:

New changes to the system came in, and i was the developer of android frontend back then
So he's shouting at me like 'why is dis so slow, why deez delayed, why those render misaligned on the orbitrary tablet, etc.'
So we finish in like an hour, he walk away back to his office, I went to smoke, came back, oh hey, I wanna go to the toilet
And back then at that place we had a small one person WC, so when someone was there, anyone else would have to stand outside the cabin
So I come next to it, oh, fuck, occupied, and I hear ridiculously loud and echo-y splashes of pure solid shit hitting the water surface)
A min later the thunderstorm was over, the door opens, and my PM rushes out, sees me, stops (I was in his way) and gives me a deathstare for a quick second. Awkward moment's over, he walks around me, but I just could not keep my mouth shut, so I said aloud

"Well, no wonder"

So I made a repo to have a template to initialize node projects.
I copied the folder to a new folder and found all commits where there but I wanted to start fresh.

Quick googling on how to just start fresh ... then I realized I might just delete the .git folder, see what happens.

Then BAM! All fresh,
git init
git add .
git commit -m "first! Template set"

Life is easy sometimes.

!rant

So this happened sometimes ago.
We ,primarily, makes accounting software with industry specific integrations of manufacturing,etc. A soon-to-be new client visited our office for a meeting and a quick demo.
He's not satisfied with his current software and wants to switch but keeps bragging about how his current software operates and it's easier for him.(Only because he's been using it for years.)

NC : We used to do like that. Blahblahblah.

My Boss : Well, I built this new office last year. I visited "Taj Mahal" just before that. It was so beautiful. But it doesn't mean I should build a "Taj Mahal" for my office because it's not practical. Same goes for this software.

The client has a great sense if humor. He burst into laughing after 5 secs of silence. Not a single word of his current "system" after that.

PS : My first post.

A quick suggestion, @devRant app should implement an implicit intent so we can share directly to it.

Reading a post on Quora lead me here. At first, I didn't like the look and feel so I hit f12 to see if I code see the source code. One would think that after x hours spent coding at my work desk, I would just want to sit at home and watch tv or play games. However, there is something fulfilling about seeing a coded product and taking a quick glance at some source code.

So we pushed some quick fixes management required to the system before going home to sleep. We warned them that we don’t have much time to check and test them. Because ordinarily such fixes go fine, they insisted.

What do you know, while we slept some smartasses within users drained our system money through the new hole we did not notice.

Manager responsible for this just gone dark, never ever picked up his phone. Just disappeared.

We don’t do such fixes anymore 🤗

TL:DR linux newbie, looking for advice/links (skip to bottom for questions)

!rant
After i had been looking for a job for quite some time, a couple of months ago i got hired by "smaller" company doing web stuff. So far it have been a great place, good colleagues, and overall just having a great time!.
They seem to value me alot, so that's great!.

Anyway, yesterday i got called into a meeting - and got told they wanted me to start learning "Server stuff (linux)". That got me quite excited, because it always was something i wanted to learn - but never really got around to doing.

But i never touched a linux installation before, so i'm really on ground zero - but im not afraid, i'm a quick learner and quite efficient at googling :)

I figured i would ask here, since other people here always seems to be happy to help other people out.

So far i have manage to setup a server, install various stuff (php, mysql and so on) and done setup a couple of domains/subdomains on my server. Also got a vestacpinstallation working - so overall im quite happy so far.

I figured maybe somebody had some good links/advice for a linux newbie :).

* Performance/Security, will obviously be a big focus - anything i should look at? - any must look at?
* Monitoring tools, how do i monitor various websites running on my server? Here i'm thinking bandwitch, cpu/ram usage and so on pr site basis.
* Any other stuff i should be looking at?

Little about what the server will/should be running :)

* Centos
* vestacp
* WordPress installations only (e-commerce mainly)
* PHP 7 / MySQL / phpmyadmin

Fuck, now I'm actually somewhat mad how much time those figma plugins could've saved me lol.

Especially things like generating a quick color palette, that immediately pastes them next to the element are so damn useful.

Generating real-life data into text elements, avatars pulled right from an API, auto fetched graphs for example data, all the goodies that make life easier.

Just a quick question (& rant) about the titanium SDK
If people don't already know titanium is an SDK which you can use to make cross-platform apps, it is what devrant uses. I am starting a project using it but it's so terpremental, the build manifest file doesn't get created so a full rebuild occurs everytime and the builds only are successful half of the time.
I am also using tishadow to speed up the development but after a few code changes it will crash and I have to go though the same process again.
So my questions are to anyone who uses the titanium SDK, is it as buggy for you (it might be because I'm using windows Ew I know) or if this does happen to you how do you develop applications with it?
Thank you :)

Fuck me the goalposts move so quick at the moment that we cant even get code released before it's out of date.

Half a year or so ago I threw together a quick site for an old teacher of mine. Got a bit of cash for it and all was good. Now he needs a few changes, plus a whole new interactive page. Oh well... I restructured the whole thing and wrote a bare bones templating system in PHP. It can parse markdown files, so now he can fix his own fucking spelling errors. So now the shitty piece of crap is maintainable. Thanks fucking God for that.

>stick holding important data goes bad ("Insert DVD" IT'S A FUCKING FLASH DRIVE)
>no backups as it's a flash drive so my PC never did an auto-backup despite being configured to do so
>might be recoverable
>"short pins 2 and 3 while running tool to reconfigure NAND and controller then recover data from quick format with TestDisk"
*looks at drive*

Well.
Fuck.

it's not even sharp enough to slit my wrists with

Is there anything possibly more worthless than Gimp for doing basic image edits. Damn, all I wanted to do was make the white background of an image transparent. I usually use Paint.NET (only available on a PC) for quick crops and background removals. Gimp is just...painful. Now I gotta fire up my PC and send myself the image so I can edit it there.

I used to work for a consultancy that specialised in a very niche area (I won't say what – this is traceable enough already!). We charged our clients a very high hourly rate, because demand and supply. All the time I'd get calls like the following:
"Please could you just make this small change to the deployment?"
"Yes, of course. You don't have any contract hours left, so I'll just forward you to our billing department so you can sort out the payment first"
"Ah okay, please can you tell us how to do it"
[Even if I explained it, you wouldn't be able to do it – that's why you're coming to us.]
"...or better yet, just do it as a quick fix outside of work?"
[So... work for no pay? No thanks.]

While my company always had my back on these requests (obviously, they wanted payment too), they were so frequent that I got sick of it.

So, the other day, I was working in Unity, and trying to find the complement of a byte number. That is, 255 - myByte. So, I write this :
Byte newByte = 255 - myByte;
And it says that it can't convert from a byte to an int. Okay... So, I do this:
Byte newByte = byte.MaxValue - myByte;

And still, it errors the same thing. So, a quick google search proves that no matter what, the subtraction operator returns an int. WHAT IS WRONG WITH C#? That is the dumbest thing ever!

I wanted to rant that my stickers look so good that I can't get shit done!

The last of my stickers made it to my Hackintosh.0 setup.

It's pretty quick:
2x240gb RAID 0 SSD
1x240gb Main OS SSD
3.73 ghz Core i7
32gb DDR3 RAM
Nvidia 4gb 660 GT
40" Samsung UHD Smart TV
Unicomp 104 Key Model M Buckling Spring Keyboard (Mac Keycaps)
Razer Deathadder Mouse

My coworker pushed changes to almost all of our ASP.NET pages. However, he did so by pushing only his files, and when asked to merge, he overwrote all of our changes to those pages since he last pulled from the server, which was ages ago. We were three changesets past that overwrite before we noticed things we'd already fixed were gone. Had to revert, which we didn't know how to do, and we didn't know what he changed in his push, because he didn't comment on the changeset. He undid weeks of work, thankfully we only lost a few days worth over we reverted. We're going to have a quick lesson on merging correctly on Monday when we all get back

There a times I love python for its quick way of writing things. But there are more times that python makes me angry or just frustrates me with its indentation logic.🤪
When the indentation in my project lets the code either accidentally run a million times more or a tab/spaces inconsistency that no tool warns me about except runtime error.
What about a language that combines pythons easy way with brackets on top?😪 I guess it already exists?😅
For my project C++ would be a viable alternative, but so far the language seems very weird to write.

i need advice, is this a good database structure? this is a comments table with foreign keys to users and posts table. the post_id and user_id can be repeated a lot of times so i wondered if i missed something here. i kinda forgot the 1/2/3 normalized form rules, so can someone give me a quick refresh? is this current structure good or should i change it?

Just wanted to play a quick game, so I started windows.. guess what. Those fucking updates again.

I hate Mondays...

So, Yours truly, the multilingual flightless bird leaves his apartment... Locks door... Fucking key gets stuck in lock (had some attempted home invasion attempt last year, left a few things bent).
The last thing I can use today, important project to work on with a deadline close enough to worry about.

I would say that's a classic Error 500 on login kinda situation.

The irony? I fancy myself a pretty good lock picker(A must have for an aspiring pentester) .

Luckily, a quick squirt of gun oil resolved that one... Seriously, how do people manage without a supply of tools and stuff?

Mozilla you stinking kangaroo pouches!

When you set an object's CSS translation via JS like so:
obj.style.transform="translate(0px,0px)";
and then read it back, every browser including FF until 66 gives this, with additional space:
"translate(0px, 0px)"

However, bloody FF 67 returns "translate(0px)". Because it's always a good idea to just introduce external changes nilly-willy, right?

That screwed up my crappy string slicing because it relied on the presence of the comma. It was a quick and dirty solution, but with additional future proof if/else logic, it wouldn't even be quick anymore.

Besides, the whole string slicing looked like yo-yo code anyway so that I instead added shadow integer variables to the objects. That solution not only works, but is even faster.

One letter story:

This is going to be weird--do it and we'll see how far we can go without going completely insane.

Whitespaces is one single comment, so is symbols such as the period sign. Be creative--use ampersands and quick way of writing longer things.

The rest of the rules go the same as for my previous rant. I'll write the first comment, then we COMMENT THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF THIS GOD DAMN FUCKING RANT!

AHH!!! PM talk is melting my brain...nodes are...collapsing...

"We need to post-mortem our lessons learned and level set our expectations so we can define quick resolutions and set tollgate approvals, at a very high level."

# clear my head of beastly things
def cls():
print ('\n' * 666)
cls()