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Very exciting news, just thought I’d share.
I was a computer engineering student before I left school to have my first child (and then second, third, and fourth).
I stayed at home for five years, out of necessity, not by choice, and struggled to get back into tech.
I eventually stared freelancing Wordpress sites, because in a small town, I didn’t have any other opportunities.
When not doing that, I took online classes and did side projects, mostly in Javascript.
This summer I got an internship at Mozilla through GNOME Outreachy doing python work.
It’s completely unreal to me...but I have been offered a contract-to-hire position with Mozilla.
After years of feeling like I would never succeed, I have my first real programming job.
Ridiculously awesome benefits and pay...
Holy fucking hell.32 -
The most stupid question you can ask at an open source software event?
"So, this system, is it open source?"
I asked this to a guy at a stand about the system he was presenting (forgot the project name).
He stared at me with a wtf face and then replied with "....yes.... of course.... this is an OPEN SOURCE software event?!"
I felt quite fucking stupid.12 -
A guy in the office just bursted out "9gag is getting boring... I wish there was a community for devs and stuff...". The entire team just stared at him xD9
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Once Ashish was travelling by train in A/c class. He was traveling from Mumbai to Bangalore!
He was traveling alone!
Some time later, a Beautiful lady came and sat in the opposite berth!
Ashish was pleasantly Happy!
The lady kept smiling at him! This made Ashish even more Happy!
Then she went and sat next to him!
Ashish was bubbling with Joy!
She then leant towards him and whispered in his ear " Hand over all your valuables, cash, cards, mobile phone to me
else I will shout and tell everybody that you are harassing and misbehaving with me"
Ashish stared blankly at her!
He took out a paper and a pen from his bag and wrote " I can not hear or speak. You write on this paper whatever you want to say"
The lady wrote everything what she said earlier and gave it to him!
Ashish took her note, kept it in his pocket!
He got up and told her in clear tones..."Now shout & scream!!"
MORAL OF THE STORY : *DOCUMENTATION IS VERY IMPORTANT*
😄😀😄4 -
Every since I've stared programming, I've been doing it almost everyday. But, I haven't programmed at all this week, and I already forgot the command to compile a C++ code.
It was just one week. What kind of idiot forgets things in one week?23 -
After months and months of unrealistic deadlines, pulling late night shifts coupled with an insane commute and two very small children at home I had a total burnout. Turned up to work one morning, and stared at the Java code I had been writing for the past couple of days and it might as well have been written in Martian. The more I stared, and the more I tried to keep things together internally the less I was able to make sense of anything - just a random jumble of characters on screen that were as intelligible as the green scrolling lines from The Matrix.
My office manager saw that I was obviously in some distress and took me into a meeting room to have a quick chat - and there I was, a grown man of 35 bawling my eyes out like a two year old. Not the most edifying moment of my life.
However, the company couldn't have been more supportive afterwards; one of my colleagues drove the 100 miles to get me home in my car and took a train back up to the office; my GP signed me off work for six months and treated me for severe depression; the office instituted stricter working policies - not on the developers, but the sales/PM teams that were handing down ridiculous timescales simply so they could get a sale.
For my part, I've learnt to push back and say "NO!" - work is not your life, it's an important part of your life, but my no means everything. Don't feel beholden to a company to meet unrealistic targets that you haven't agreed to. Talk.3 -
So today I was with my I guess 9-10yo cousin. He was playing clash of clans.
I told him, “you can also make this type of games”.
After this he was stared at me for like 25-30sec his face expression was awesome. Then said “seriously? I thought games are developed on a certain place where all the games are made.”
I said “no anyone can create games if you know how to code and all.”
After that multiple questions was on the way and I answered all for him.
But he totally amazed with this knowledge. And I felt good to.10 -
"Do you have 2 factor auth for the database?"
a customer asked. I stared on the wall in front of me and suddenly fel and urge to punch and piss on something.
I took a deep breath while thinking to myself
*Oh boy, here we go. Another retard*
I put on my nice voice and asked:
"What you mean?"
The customer seems confused, as if my question did not make sense and he said:
"TWO FACTOR AUTHENTICATION! Dont you know what it is? To make the database more secure."
I was fucking right, this person reads to much shit. The fact that the email signature of that person said "Wordpress Developer" made me more angry.
I, still with the nice voice asked
"How would that work?"
"Two factor authentication when I am connecting to the database."
"So, do you want it by SMS then? You'll get alot of messages if it is going to send you one every time a query is made."
The following 7 seconds was dead silent until I heard the person hang up.3 -
Worst dev team failure I've experienced?
One of several.
Around 2012, a team of devs were tasked to convert a ASPX service to WCF that had one responsibility, returning product data (description, price, availability, etc...simple stuff)
No complex searching, just pass the ID, you get the response.
I was the original developer of the ASPX service, which API was an XML request and returned an XML response. The 'powers-that-be' decided anything XML was evil and had to be purged from the planet. If this thought bubble popped up over your head "Wait a sec...doesn't WCF transmit everything via SOAP, which is XML?", yes, but in their minds SOAP wasn't XML. That's not the worst WTF of this story.
The team, 3 developers, 2 DBAs, network administrators, several web developers, worked on the conversion for about 9 months using the Waterfall method (3~5 months was mostly in meetings and very basic prototyping) and using a test-first approach (their own flavor of TDD). The 'go live' day was to occur at 3:00AM and mandatory that nearly the entire department be on-sight (including the department VP) and available to help troubleshoot any system issues.
3:00AM - Teams start their deployments
3:05AM - Thousands and thousands of errors from all kinds of sources (web exceptions, database exceptions, server exceptions, etc), site goes down, teams roll everything back.
3:30AM - The primary developer remembered he made a last minute change to a stored procedure parameter that hadn't been pushed to production, which caused a side-affect across several layers of their stack.
4:00AM - The developer found his bug, but the manager decided it would be better if everyone went home and get a fresh look at the problem at 8:00AM (yes, he expected everyone to be back in the office at 8:00AM).
About a month later, the team scheduled another 3:00AM deployment (VP was present again), confident that introducing mocking into their testing pipeline would fix any database related errors.
3:00AM - Team starts their deployments.
3:30AM - No major errors, things seem to be going well. High fives, cheers..manager tells everyone to head home.
3:35AM - Site crashes, like white page, no response from the servers kind of crash. Resetting IIS on the servers works, but only for around 10 minutes or so.
4:00AM - Team rolls back, manager is clearly pissed at this point, "Nobody is going fucking home until we figure this out!!"
6:00AM - Diagnostics found the WCF client was causing the server to run out of resources, with a mix of clogging up server bandwidth, and a sprinkle of N+1 scaling problem. Manager lets everyone go home, but be back in the office at 8:00AM to develop a plan so this *never* happens again.
About 2 months later, a 'real' development+integration environment (previously, any+all integration tests were on the developer's machine) and the team scheduled a 6:00AM deployment, but at a much, much smaller scale with just the 3 development team members.
Why? Because the manager 'froze' changes to the ASPX service, the web team still needed various enhancements, so they bypassed the service (not using the ASPX service at all) and wrote their own SQL scripts that hit the database directly and utilized AppFabric/Velocity caching to allow the site to scale. There were only a couple client application using the ASPX service that needed to be converted, so deploying at 6:00AM gave everyone a couple of hours before users got into the office. Service deployed, worked like a champ.
A week later the VP schedules a celebration for the successful migration to WCF. Pizza, cake, the works. The 3 team members received awards (and a envelope, which probably equaled some $$$) and the entire team received a custom Benchmade pocket knife to remember this project's success. Myself and several others just stared at each other, not knowing what to say.
Later, my manager pulls several of us into a conference room
Me: "What the hell? This is one of the biggest failures I've been apart of. We got rewarded for thousands and thousands of dollars of wasted time."
<others expressed the same and expletive sediments>
Mgr: "I know..I know...but that's the story we have to stick with. If the company realizes what a fucking mess this is, we could all be fired."
Me: "What?!! All of us?!"
Mgr: "Well, shit rolls downhill. Dept-Mgr-John is ready to fire anyone he felt could make him look bad, which is why I pulled you guys in here. The other sheep out there will go along with anything he says and more than happy to throw you under the bus. Keep your head down until this blows over. Say nothing."11 -
**Colleagues Speaking about some political issues**
Me: Why what happened in that council?
Colleagues: Are you living under a rock or what?
Me: No, I have been living inside a shell. Why?
Colleagues: Stared for 5 seconds and continued with their topic.
I so badly want some programmers in my office ☹️4 -
The magical solution to everything.
It reminds me of the time when we were watching The Great Gatsby movie in honors English class. The the projector wouldn't work.
As a joke, one kid said, "try turning it off and turning it back on."
The whole class roared with laughter, until it actually worked. They stared at it in silence.
3 -
I was in a public place on my laptop, and my laptop went into hibernation to save battery. I switched it back on and then the laptops BIOS came up saying that the battery was critically low, nothing bad here.
Instead of clicking continue, I decided to press "Diagnostics" instead. The diagnostics immediately began to run in the BIOS.
The screen began to show different coloured bars and patterns, obviously a screen test. Then a prompt appeared asking me if coloured bars were displayed. The options were yes and no, and a button saying "Exit" in the top right. Me, not wanting to do a full diagnostics on such a low battery, pressed exit.
The screen turned black, and then flashed red. The beeper on the motherboard began to beep at an ear-piercing volume. It sounded as if it was a bomb about to go off. Everyone around me stared and some people began to even panic. I tried switching it off by holding the power button but nothing was happening. People were just staring all around me.
After about 10 seconds, the beeping stopped and the screen displayed an error message similar to this:
"CRITICAL ERROR: Monitor test FAILED.
No user input was provided."
Moral of the story: Make your program account for all possible options.11 -
One of our teachers developed a website for our university about three years ago. That was something like assignments management system + social network + schedule, everything in the world as one website.
It seemed like he didn't put any code escaping at all. Injected a block of CSS that made the entire page slowly fade away when some user tried to look at my page. Other teachers stared at it as if it was pure magic, doubting their sanity.
Still isn't fixed btw :)6 -
When i said that i use Linux, 3/4 of the class stared at me like i have a mental problem.
Then i said that i use duckduckgo and they stared at me like i was really retarded.
The sad part is that i'm in computer science department and my colleagues have not any clue about anything else than microsoft/google.11 -
Minimum wage employers and restaurants asking "and why should we hire you?".
You have 40 vacancies in your area for just your company alone.
You're paying $13.25 an hour when only a year ago you were paying $9.75.
Why should we hire you?
F*ck you, pay me, that's why.
You're not f*cking NASA
You're a God damn chain restaurant with a 40% turnover rate, who's employees probably shoot up in the bathroom on the rare occasion they even get a break.
I looked at the guy with all the annoyance I could muster, stared him down for a good five seconds and said. "You pay a few dollars over minimum. You're job is not important enough to even ask that question. Have a nice day." And got up and left.
Dude followed me and stuttered " hold up. I was just..."
But I was already out the door.
You were just what mark? Asking a dumbfuck question as if you had any leverage at all?
Your competitor *across the street* is offering 50 cents *more* per hour, and has guaranteed breaks.
What, did you forget 2008 and how you treated millions of people as disposable? The little part where you and most american industries demanded passion, without pay raises? Promotions without benefits? The jobs that if you worked hard, rather than a promotion or a pay raise, your reward was more work and less hours to finish?
You assholes thought we forgot about that? How you shipped millions of jobs overseas, blamed it on "automation" (chinese and indian slave labor), and then pointed the finger at millions of impoverished people as "lazy" in places like Detroit and Pittsburgh and told them "you just got to work harder and smarter!" Or "just get a small loan and create the next google!" from the comfort of your yachts? I'm looking at you bane corp.
No, now the shoes on the other foot motherf*ckers. Hows it feel needing all *us* commoners? "Why should we hire you?"
No, why should *I* WORK FOR YOU?
Cuz I saw THREE dirty tables coming in. A line of people that could be being served. A line that could have been optimized with the proper table count and some simple changes. A menu that doesnt even incentivize your biggest sellers and a dozen other things your store is doing wrong.
Think mark, think!
This is one of those braindead questions employers paying sub $18 an hour ask, because they suffered so much brain drain from years of payola profits from too-big-to-fail wallstreet bailouts, that they forgot they are not king midas, unless they are the king midas of shit, because increasingly everything corporate America touches turns into shit.
And while were on the subject, stopping bringing in outside management to stores. It destroys team cohesion, staff morale, pisses off people *on site* who *actually know* the team, the stores daily activities and processes, and who are better fit for that role. You bring in disinterested outside management, and it's one of the biggest red flags I've ever seen: these smarmy selfcongratulating f*cks who know nothing about the particular store, have no connection to the staff, go on firing sprees or alienation-sprees to hire in friends, fuck up the schedules because again they know nothing about the employees, and then move on after a few years to greener pastures, leaving a barren radioactive wasteland of chain smokers and burnt out staff in their wake.
Dear corporate America, your free ride on the public's good will is over. It's over.
Now you're in the bitch seat. Come sit at my desk and explain to me, EXPLAIN TO ME, why I should sweat and labor to save your shitty company hemorrhaging money like a bleeding crack-addicted hobo dying with a sucking chest wound from a chicago skidrow friday-night drive-by?
You dont deserve it. Your management and company culture is worse than incompetent. It's full of smiley guys expounding about their passion for customer service while giving each other sloppy BJs in broom closets, a veritable cornucopia of cult-like corporate dick suckers *and* dickheads, proclaiming, no...PROFESSING (hence "professional") their undying allegiance and dedication to their corporate family with the intensity of cujo, foaming at the mouth, or Mitt Romney preparing for a photoshoot, plastic smiles and feigned laughs.
Dont forget to wipe your chin, asshole. It's not Ronald McDonald your blowing, but it's definitely not Gordon f*cking Ramsey either.
Would you like fries with that?88 -
This one isn't as interesting.
I was probably 6 years old when I first used a computer. A commercial played on the TV about an online game called Fantage.
I wanted to play, so I begged my mom if I could use her Dell inspiron 5100. After hours of begging, she finally said yes.
I've never touched a computer before, so when my mom typed her password and left me alone I was confused.
I didn't know how to get to the game so I stared at the screen until my mom returned. She was annoyed and said to go on the internet and I stared at her. She was about to yell, but refrained herself from doing so, and clicked on IE before typing in the game.
She made me an account and then left.
I figured out how to use the trackpad and keyboard so I was really excited. Then there was a pop up box that said something like, "click OK if you promise not to give anyone your personnel information."
As the stupid kid I was, thought I was going to give her a virus if I clicked OK, so I stared at the screen until my mom said computer time was over.
I never got to play Fantage.16 -
So before today, I'd never used GoDaddy before. Not even once. My supervisor walks in and happily informs me that I'm going to be adding photos to a website that she does editing for. Okay, fine, that's stupidly easy. What I did not realize, however, is that this entire website had been built using GoDaddy's site builder, and if you're not familiar with it, thank whatever gods you worship that you've dodged that bullet. I hardly want to go wandering around somebody else's web hosting, so I search about for a bit praying that there's SOME semblance of a normal text editor someplace, because text editors make me happy and all, and find very little on the regular site. Already not thrilled. So I figure, how bad is this site editor? Really, how bad can it possibly be?
Oh, you poor misguided son of a -
Anyway, I go in and look at the site. Slideshows everywhere, nothing is aligned correctly, it's a web designer's nightmare. Thankfully, I'm not a web designer, so I press on and reorganize a little bit. I try slapping a new slideshow on their, and discover that unlike the way it SHOULD work, elements do not move to allow for other elements, they just sit there and let you throw things on top of them. I stare at my neatly-stacked slideshows for a second in utter disbelief, knowing but not really accepting that I'm going to need to take every last one of those slideshow elements and slide those little so-and-so's down by hand. ....why? Who designed this? Who decided that was a good idea? I do some Googling to see if there's anything out there to make this less horrid, and lo and behold I find a GoDaddy page about their FTP file manager! It's under web/classic hosting, which apparently means it's deprecated because I spent the next ten minutes hunting around for the "web hosting" link those chicken-lickers were so proud of and it's nowhere to be found.
Alright, so they want to do this the hard way.
At this point I'm screaming internally and PRAYING that I'm just being stupid and not seeing anything to make it easi-
No, not even easier. Just less stupid. This website builder makes no sense. It's like hiring a contractor to build a bridge and handing him a box of Legos and a banana.
So I do more googling and find instructions on getting to the file manager. FINALLY. The first step is find "Hosting" under "My Products." I rush over to My Products joyfully, hoping I can get this stupid website up and running reasonably quickly, and...!
There's no hosting tab.
No button.
Not even a little hard-to-see link. At this point my brain is screaming. WHY would you give me a website builder but absolutely no way to actually write the website? Do people actually use this thing? I mean, I get it if they want to make it nice and accessible for people to make websites without overwhelming them with HTML but if they know how to edit the website and they don't want your help, why would you force me in to this? Why? Then it occurred to me that maybe the organization just hasn't ever had a web developer in it, ever, or at least not one who was willing to help out with the website, so they purposefully signed up for hosting that deprived them of any kind of HTML editor. Then on top of all of that, I noticed that on the home page, which had been edited by someone else long before I ever looked at it, ALSO had one of these stupid slideshows that I had to reorganize by hand, and some sad, angry little man had put in one of the photos sideways. It was SIDEWAYS. Just sitting there on its side, the photo's occupants staring at me with sad eyes begging me to turn them facing up again. I sat there and stared at a badly-designed website in a questionably-designed editor. And I wondered. I wondered who put this all together, and I wondered why *I* was the one doing it, when I work for a university and the website was for some beach homeowner's association. And I wondered if this job was a task that my supervisor had agreed to do and just passed off onto an office monkey. And I wept bitter tears at the realization that I am that office monkey.7 -
Worst interview is the one that actually got me where I am today.
Its been 15 years ago, but I remember very well. Since it was a startup back then they didn't really have any job titles yet or what so ever. I applied for the role of network engineer, heck I didn't care I needed a paycheck.
5 minutes into the interview the smalltalk left the room and they started asking me questions, mainly about me as a person. Eventually it was my turn. After my first question I facepalmed so hard.. Do you guys have any SLA or documentation around here? Heard of ITIL? How is your load balancing?
They stared at me as if I was some kind of alien that had just invaded their little safe planet.. it was hilarious.
An hour later they called me to come back in and sign a contract.. from there on I kind of multi tasked my way around the first year.. bit of network support & design, customer support, sending and packaging orders after 5PM.. god we had long but awesome days.. hence, we were just the 5 of us. Nowadays we've got 150 developers out of 1019 total staff currently.. We also improved interview questions and processes ;)7 -
Once IT Engineer was travelling by train in A/c class.
He was traveling alone!
Some time later, a Beautiful lady came and sat in the opposite berth!
IT Engineer was pleasantly Happy!
The lady kept smiling at him! This made IT Engineer even more Happy!
Then she went and sat next to him!
IT Engineer was bubbling with Joy!
She then leant towards him and whispered in his ear " Hand over all your valuables, cash, cards, mobile phone to me
else I will shout and tell everybody that you are harassing and misbehaving with me"
IT Engineer stared blankly at her!
He took out a paper and a pen from his bag and wrote " I can not hear or speak. You write on this paper whatever you want to say"
The lady wrote everything what she said earlier and gave it to him!
IT Engineer took her note, kept it in his pocket!
He got up and told her in clear tones..."Now shout & scream!!"
MORAL OF THE STORY : DOCUMENTATION IS VERY IMPORTANT
😄😀😄4 -
I'm not sure if this entirely qualifies and I might have ranted about it a few years ago but fuck it.
My last internship. Company was awesome and my mentor/technical manager got along very well with me to the point that he often asked me to help out with Linux based stuff (he preferred Linux but was a C# guy and wasn't as familiar with it as me (Linux)).
We had to build an internal site thingy (don't remember what it was) and we delivered (me and some interns) and then the publishing moment came so I went to out project manager (a not-as-technical one) and asked if he could install a LetsEncrypt certificate on the site (he knew how and was one of the only ones who had direct access to the server).
He just stared at us and asked why the fuck we needed that since it was an internal thing anyways.
I kindly told that since it's free and can secure the connection, I preferred that and since its more secure, why the fuck not?
He wasn't convinced so it was off.
Next day I came in early and asked my mentor if he could do the SSL since he usually had access to that stuff. He stared at me with "what?" eyes and I explained what the PM said.
Then he immediately ssh'd in and got the damn cert with "we're going to go secure by default, of course!"
A minute later it was all set.2 -
Up for a rollercoaster?
I had a super motivated day where i could focus and wanted to get my work done. My stupid work lappy instead kept throwing tantrums and totally prevented me from working. (Everything caused disk thrashing, took multiple minutes instead of seconds, etc.) Total shit day, but I felt great.
Next morning, I woke up all achy and cold. Ignored it and went to work. I was able to fix everything, and got my benchmarks running smoothly in all of fifteen minutes. Got good results, too! Left work and got married at the courthouse. :)
Went to a restaurant afterward, and two jolly fat guys (Off-duty Santa?!) bought us lunch.
Got home and… started feeling really awful. A little while later, I had a 102*f fever. Collapsed on the floor with an electric blanket and was absolutely miserable. Just kind of stared for hours, aching everywhere. Eventually went to bed, and my wife (!) made me all warm and comfy. And then I proceeded to be completely unable to sleep. Or move. Or think. Laid there for four hours unable to move, and shaking violently at any touch of cold air.
Now it’s 1am and I’m here at the freezing kitchen table writing this.
I am miserable.
Absolutely miserable.
But still happy, too!
🥶👰♀️💍👰🏻♀️19 -
The reason why I changed my username ( I'll just be honest here )
I was working on a website. I noticed that entries were submitting yesterday but today new entries were not showing up on database. It was like my database refused to insert new rows but there was no new error in log. I kept trying for almost half an hour, read all the answers on stackoverflow, read docs, tried different methods. Nothing worked. I was fucked up. Completely fucked up.
In frustration, I just stared my database for 10 mins without a single blink, and then I noticed this thing 'showing 25 out of 78 rows'
(-_-)
I clicked on 'show all'
AAAAAAND
I felt retarded.
Okay I can give an excuse that last time I saw a database was a year ago, but still.. how retarded you need to be to not see this FUCKIN 'SHOW ALL' when it is on the TOP of the FUCKIN TABLE!!6 -
My 14 year old self stared at Chrome and decided to consult Google on a random fleeting thought...
"How is software made?"
The search resulted in my downloading Visual Studio. Without any understanding of what it was or how it worked I somehow managed to create a new Winforms project.
I started to drag controls from the ToolBox onto the form, and I specifically recall thinking "Wow! This is easy.". Little did I know...
I then inadvertently double clicked either a control or the form which as most will know switches from the designer view to the code editor taking you to the code that drives the form.
"What the hell is this?"
I had absolutely no idea what I was looking at, but decided I was determined to understand what all of that random text did.
So, yeah, my first dev project was a Winforms App consisting of a single button that did absolutely nothing, but yet happens to be the most important app I have ever created.
To think I'd be working in an entirely different sector if it wasn't for that one Google search.4 -
My first job stared when i was 16 when i make my first power generator with some hardware stuff and c++.
I remember when it explodes one week later.6 -
Shopping for computers is so fun and relaxing than shopping for makeup.
So here's the scenario...
I walked into a makeup store and I was looking for lipstick. I was wearing my devRant shirt, jeans, and a laptop backpack. A sales lady approached me and just stared. She didn't even ask what I was looking for. The way she looked at me made me feel that I don't belong there. She should've just left me alone than giving a judgemental look. I got intimidated so I looked at her and gave the biggest smile, then fleed. I panicked. I salute those female developers who doesn't have problems shopping for girly stuff!
For the record, my sister encouraged me to wear a little makeup so that I don't look stressed. That made me decide to go to that makeup store. I'd rather order online now.
It's so hard to not be girly by nature.17 -
I stared at the errors with the hope that they would go away. And my friend did this.
Now the errors are gone.
Bad day
8 -
The last several weeks I've been coding at 100%, most all day and well into the night. Today, I just can't.
Things I have done today:
*Watched Netflix.
*Walked around outside a bit.
*Let my 18 month old daughter type all over my code
* Closed mysterious dialogs and menus daughter opened up that I couldn't open if I tried
*Watched the Mets score 10 runs on the Phillies in the top of the 5th inning
*Browsed devRant
*Stared at stuff
* Cleaned up a few thousand emails out of my inbox
* Added filters to never see them again
* Noted impending deadlines on the calendar
* Stared at more stuff
In the meantime so many more ideas have come flooding in on how to proceed with these various features I'm working on. Can't even run from work.
So, no such thing as laziness, because apparent laziness is also productive. The exhaustion becomes doubly frustrating because there's just no way to physically keep up with the breakthroughs.
I'm still just staring out the window. It's raining now. Today is done.
7 -
Please, don't take this post seriously. I wrote it from anger.
I hate a lot of humans.
I was at a church today because family ties. I'm agnostic. That sums it up.
And now, I'm at a mall, and it's crowded, and I'm bumping into a lot of people with very low common sense. These fucking apes here have ZERO walk awareness. And a lot of them probably drive, which scares me.
When they make a line in a food shop, and the line gets too big, they curve the line so that the line can continue, like an L, but they leave TOO LITTLE GODDAMN SPACE TO WALK THROUGH!
There's a narrow ramp, next to some stairs, that I use to get to the nursery of the mall, but it also leads to the bathrooms. A lot of these disgusting beings use the ramp. Jesus fucking christ, USE THE SHITTIN FUCKING STAIRS.
tiday I was walking with the stroller the 9 month old which was (thank you alpha omega) sleeping.
I see one of those nice comfy couches, and there's a couple hugging in it but there's an empty spot. I come closer and it's occupied by their trash, some cups with ice cream.
I could not believe my eyes.
That shit's expensive. I would never leave shit with ice cream in my couch, and it's also a horrible gesture because it looks like you're denying it from others with your trash.
I just stared the trash down like really disappointed. They took the trash but I moved on because I was very salty at that point.
I find a seat next to a dad and his kid. I sit down, relieved. His daughter comes over, and almost yelling complains about him buying his brother.
I stared this little shit straight in her face because she could wake up my kid. She and her family was totally oblivious.
These are just minor events, but I come across a plethora of situations like this every day, like people turning on their turn lights 1/2 second before turning, or people that I meet on the street giving me fucking advice on raising kids.
That's the average mall experience. It's a place where selfful people thrive.
I shit you not, sometimes I imagine that a meteor strikes earth and while it makes me sad that all the people I consider kind will die, I orgasm at the thought of these filthy parasites just evaporating.
But then I realize that I'm being very cruel and intolerant. And feel guilty.
Sometimes I think that I should live in Japan or a similar place.
Japanese city people are very organized.
But then I remember that Japan has a suicide problem. And that it has a poverty problem. And a lot of outcasts. And that they barely have sex.
i dunno.24 -
I work as the entire I.T. department of a small business which products are web based, so naturally, I do tech support in said website directly to our clients.
It is normal that the first time a new client access our site they run into questions, but usually they never call again since it is an easy website.
There was an unlucky client which ran into unknown problems and blamed the server.
I couldn't determine the exact cause, but my assumption was a network error for a few seconds which made the site unavailable and the user tried to navigate the site through the navbar and exited the process he was doing. It goes without saying but he was very angry.
I assured him there was nothing wrong with the site, and told him that it would not be charged for this reason. Finally i told him that if he had the same problem, to let me know instead of trying to fix it himself.
The next time he used the site I received a WhatsApp message saying:
- there is something clearly wrong with the site... It has been doing this for so long!
And attached was a 10 second video which showed that he filled a form and never pressed send (my forms have small animations and text which indicates when the form is being send and error messages when an error occurs, usually not visible because the data they send is small and the whole process is quite fast)
To which I answer
- It seems that the form has not been send that's why it looks that way
- So... What an I supposed to do?
- click send
It took a while but the client replied
- ok
To this day I wonder how much time did the client stared at the form cursing the server. -
I was to optimise a SQL query (7 min to execute,yes) with around 20 joins (I did not write this). Checked for missing indexes,etc.. but nothing worked. Stared outside the window, and back to desk reordered the joins ,executed in 10 secs.1
-
I make a presentation to explain to the boss why we had to tweak around the requirements in order to keep backwards compatibility and stuff. I take 15 minutes explaining how our system currently works and how these requirements would change it, etc etc.
"So... is this workflow okay for our customers?"
They stared into the presentation slide for a good minute.
"I think we should align this row over here with that square over there."
"Oh don't worry this is a demo. But do you think our customers will still be okay with these changes?"
"Yeah, but these two elements are unalligned and they look pretty bad."
I'm starting to think that fancy speech can deter people from questioning or complaining to you. I'm pretty sure they don't know their own product as well as I know it.3 -
"For me, it means..."
For me it was not one specific meeting, but rather a series of meetings with a customer over some years.
It was like the movie "groundhog day", it was the same all over again.
We had this technical term, and our customer had his own definition of what it meant and what it's supposed to be. No need to say that his definition did not match the one the engineers and developers of the world had agreed on.
At least a dozen times, i convinced him, but as soon as the meeting ends, it's all reset and we start at zero next time with his new or old definition of what a definition should mean. Sometimes i was just sick and tired of it so i let him explain how it is while i just stared into the void. Didn't matter he told me once, it will happen again next time again, like it never happened before.1 -
Once i was travelling by train from Mumbai to Delhi!
When the train started, I was traveling alone in the AC-I coupe.
Some time later, a Beautiful lady came and sat in the opposite berth!
I was pleasantly Happy
The lady kept smiling at me...
This made me even more Happy☺️
Then she went and sat next to me....
I was bubbling with Joy
She then leant towards me and whispered in my ear...
*"Hand over all your cash, cards and mobile phone to me , else I will shout loudly and tell everybody that you are harassing and misbehaving with me" *
I stared blankly at her
I took out a paper and a pen from my bag and wrote " I am sorry, I can not hear or speak... Please write on this paper whatever you want to say"
The lady wrote everything what she said earlier and gave it to me!
I took her note, kept it nicely in my pocket...
I got up and told her in clear tones..."
*Now shout & scream !!*
Moral of the story : *DOCUMENTATION IS VERY IMPORTANT*1 -
Waking up from a dream with a girl in it.
TL;DR: We fell in love and I can finally somehow remember her. Not completely though...
(To the perverts: We did not have sex nor did we kiss.)
The worlds I am becoming a part of are very complex. I won't get into the details of how they look like. I will tell as far as I can remember.
<vaguely remember the beginning>
My sister, my mom and I went into a house which turned out to have weird things inside.
Suddenly I became something like an agent and I had a special mission. I went to the basement of this building. Saw a few guys chilling there. Grabed a walkie talkie which was taped on the right wall. I have listened to it while moving back to the entrance, when I have arrived there, it began to do disortion type of sounds.
<I have been to a lot of different places here. Telling each of them would make me to not come to an end lol>
Then I have decided to go outside. The outside-of-the-house world changed. I was at floor 8 or something like that. It was very high when I looked down. All of the sudden I got into a waterfall type of thing which was about to suck me in to a circle. The waterfall was limited to the area of where this house was. It was basically hovering above the streets, but never reaching the streets.
I somehow met the lovely girl in a cube type of thing that helped us not to fall down through the spiral. We enjoyed the action the waterfall created. It made us move in a circle and we had to hold ourselves at the wall of the cube which luckily had knobs to hold on.
After that whole action I have been in my bed and sleeping. She somehow found me on a social media platform and contacted me with "Meet me on <some strange date>".
<some unlogical world shit happens here. I will just skip them until the date>
The day to meet her comes. She is up on a hill with a "purple?<idk it was purple-ish>" sky.
<can not remember the dialogue>
We had a great time and I felt that she had feelings for me.
She then went away. What about me? And me, too. ;)
The next day I went to see her again. She was gone. I found out that she has a brother. I talked to him about where she might be. Turns out her brother was a demon or satan <idk they all became agressive and god-like powerful lol>.
He told me that she must be there where <random name of enemy> is to fight the enemy to rescue her mom.
Her brother went to help her. I followed him since I did not know where the enemy was. Let alone where I was. The world has changed for the 99999th fucking time lol.
I followed him up another hill with trees and a lot of people. It was autumn.
Then we found her sitting on a hill looking down to the sea beneath us with cherry blossom trees around her.
The dream was about to end. I felt it. So I have asked her a few questions after the happy greeting, but I can not remember them and her answer anymore. But I do remember that she did not say anything after one question. She just stared at me looking through my eyes which immediately did end the dream.
I was able to get into the dream shortly after it a few times, but I was not able to interact with them.
Besides of that: I have had "Battle Symphony-Linkin Park" playing as a background music for the whole dream a long.
The good thing is that I somehow would be able to recreate her. I know how she looks like to about 60%.
I do not even know why the fuck I am telling y'all this.3 -
It was the first time I worked on a big project with a big team, I looked at the given code and copied their code style.
I finished very fast and everything was working fine, was really proud of myself. I'd like to add some logging though.
Programm failed it was heavily async and parallel so 2 days of debugging had past the whole team was on board nobody knew what went wrong there.
As I stared into the darkness of my code I suddenly saw what went wrong 😂
As I adopted no curly braces style of the Team for
If (condition)
Justine();
And I added logging above without braces everything broke 😂 it was indented properly so as a heavily python user everything looked fine2 -
First time people have forked and stared one of my github repositories.
Kinda exciting, but also scary. (they're looking at my terrible code)5 -
Since a few days I have my first dev job in a small it company. At my first day I directly stared to implement a rest api for managing dns servers.
Today I completed the prototype and all works well. What a feeling :)5 -
Does anyone else have a major problem with over thinking debugging or like the code to write in general?
I spent 10 minutes the other day reading over 6 lines of code only to realize 2 words were capitalized when they shouldn't have been.
Wednesday night, i was doing my CS homework. The question wanted me to swap variable values using a third variable. I stared at it for 30 minutes scratching my head. (I did Google it and read the notes I took.) And when I saw the solution, it was so simple that I face palmed really hard.2 -
i spent two days fixing some bs styling made on our platform. this guy put redundant attributes in the classes and the elements themselves and instead of using :hover he just created hover with jquery. i stared at my screen for 10 minutes when i saw that. the worst part is he was not dumb, so how 🤦♀️9
-
How is it a thing that developing a desktop app nowadays requires an enormous amount of RAM? I stared working on an electron project and the whole thing takes up 3-4 GB of RAM when running, and that does not factor in my IDE or anything else.
But the packaged app does not go over 400mb, although we have had memory leaks in the past10 -
My specialization exam is over hurray! But what now? Went from working 30+ hours a week to 0.
Never have i felt so empty, from coming home feeling tired and a need to relax with games to just existing.
I literally got home, stared at my desktop for about an hour, and then began work on one of my friends exam projekt... I think I'm broken :p1 -
My first interview was the interview where I cheated and got the job, it was an on campus job interview. I did not have a good gpa, (to be honest it was really bad i was below the 25th percentile)
Anyway this was the only (developer) job interview I knew I could qualify for, I was pretty sure that if I couldn't nail this one then I could kiss my dream of programming professionally good bye.
We were about 25 kids sitting in a class room with a pencil and couple of sheets of paper and the the interview panel walked between the seats looking at what we wrote.
So, when I couldn't write an algorithm for the problem of square rooting a number n. I panicked (was literally shivering with tears rolling down my cheeks, thankfully nobody saw me as i was on the last bench) I gave up, wiped my tears and stared at the board, a panel member saw me and told me to leave after looking at my paper. This was the moment my mind decided (not me but someone else inside me) that I have to do whatever it took, so just when I was stepping out and grabbed my bag i quickly opened the browser of my phone inside the bag typed square root algorithm opened the first result and read the words arrive at the answer by binary search, ass soon as I read that my mind worked at a pace that it has never managed ever since that time, and i knew the solution in a matter of seconds, i dropped my bag when to one of the more sympathetic panel members and explained the whole thing to him on the spot, he was impressed, and he asked me how this algorithm can be extended for the nth root(which is really simple once you have the algorithm for square root) and i blurted it out instantly which impressed him even more and offered me the job on the spot and told me to attend the next 2 rounds as a formality.
Thus i saved myself for a world of hurt and now I am a developer who thinks back to that day every time I need a boost of morale1 -
Interesting coincidence. I have stared at this shower curtain far too long.. I MUST KNOW ITS SECRETS.
1 -
Has to be writing.
Not exactly a better dev, per se, but close enough.
I used to read books and imagine all sorts of possible scenarios to different events. One day, after replaying the Mass Effect series, I began to think about alternate ways to end it. Opened Libre Office and started hammering away. 10 minutes later, I had an outline. Never actually finished that story, but the spark was there.
I began noting down outlines and creating structures for interesting games and books; that soon carried over to my work. Before and after every meeting with my boss, I'd have outlined how the meeting was going to go, and how it actually went. Gave me a sense of order.
This in turn helped me be a better manager (I work with a team of 9), and I tell you guys, it couldn't have come at a better time. I had been promoted quite suddenly, and had been fucking up quite a bit at the start.
I had my shit in order. My team was happier and more efficient. My boss was happy. I was given bigger goals and tighter deadlines. I fucking loved it.
All this, from writing some fanfiction. (there, I said it!)
P. S: I stared at this for a solid minute, still not sure how it all came together.1 -
I was having internet issues -
I'm running an nongenuine iso of Win7, and installed the driver for my wifi adapter (ralink)
i performed this process three times after it one day stopped working.
i stared directly at my wireless networking button. which wasn't lit.
and then i continued searching for help on my second computer (hp stream, i cry)
and then it fucking hits me
the networking button
wasn't
fucking
lit
so i pressed the button, what you're thinking happened happened, and i both had all the motivation in the world to continue living, but simultaneously wanted to die a thousand deaths becaus I was that fucking STUPID.
have a blessed night,
write code like God's reading it ,and satan's using it.4 -
I just stared as a trainee at a webdev firm.. I'm starting a company with my friends parallel to this. I never thought my life would be waking up and doing 13 hours of WordPress.. Today a customer asked me to speed up her website, it had 30 plugins all of which she uses..moving the cache erased the plugin-generated index page, it was nowhere to be found even after pulling backup..
Now I've been home for four hours.. trying to work around a "responsive theme" a customer picked.. It should be called Worsedepress
6 -
why am I feeling so guilty about this? should I be feeling guilty about this?
PS : this is not a support request. I genuinely feel bad about writing that piece of code and sense something is wrong somewhere, but I cannot figure out what. I stared at the screen for quite a while before giving up.
maybe it might reveal itself to me when I continue staring at it tomorrow.
12 -
My mother still doesn't know what I do with my laptop, she thinks I either watch youtube or movies. The last day when I faced a code block and stared at the screen for 12 hours, she finally realised I am either insane or something is driving me nuts.
My Brother thinks it's one of the good decisions I have taken in life. Because he sees my interest when I talk about it to him.
Others think I can fix a broken PC or install softwares for them or do typing to get paid.2 -
I screen candidates for this freelancing company part time and i meet all kinds of people. I asked a self proclaimed senior engineer the difference between a get and a post request and he told me with the utmost confidence. “they are both the same”. That’s it. No other explanation was offered.
We were both just stared through the screen awkwardly.11 -
tl;dr never heard about rubber duck debugging before devrant
i didnt worked with Yii fw in the past but we bouth a site written in Yii and i wanted to add a form but could not pass the model to the view so i went for a smoke with my roommate to think about it
"i have the view, i have the model, the action but dont know how to pass the model variable because its an existing view..."
"...it should be passed to the render function in the existing index action but thats written somewhere else, so if i could pass it there..."
"...i can write the action there and then i should pass the variable to the render function in the index action and goddamit, so thats how you do it, thanks mate!"
he stared at me like wtf? o.O
room mate debugging ftw!1 -
It's amazing how many nice build tools there are to make life easier as a web developer. Learning those tools themselves and figuring out why / when they are useful is always pretty confusing haha, endless configuration details. Perhaps more so for myself because I only stared Programming in 2014. But now that I have learned how to use them more extensively I couldn't imagine how much of a pain it would be to not have them.1
-
Summing up my cynicism.
I live on a big shit pile in the middle of nowhere where biggest achievement is travel around the globe. It doesn’t matter that you can do it under a day using special piece of paper that everyone is bragging about.
At the same time I am trapped inside sack of meat that is slowly putrefy and is highly vulnerable to everything on this fucking place. Sooner or later I will shit under myself again.
And I even didn’t stared cause the real problem is that I can’t get the fuck out of here and everyone try to convince me that what I do is “important” and I need to start a family and shit like that, yet everyone believes in some higher power that says you don’t need all of this shit. Like what the fuck people ?!!?!!
How the fuck did I get here ? I must have been making jokes from someone important. If it’s true I’m really really sorry and now please get me out of this nightmare. I know I did something wrong and I sincerely apologize. Are we good now ?
Fucking hell !!!3 -
The only thing worse than client QA is client vendor QA.
I do QA for a company that does custom implementations of a major e-commerce platform. On one of my current projects, the customer has elected to outsource their UAT, and isn't willing to wait for the site (or even individual features) to be complete before starting testing, so I've been triaging a lot of silly tickets. But today took the cake.
This system allows users to save their credit card info. The vendor QA guy filed a ticket "reporting" that if he saved a cc with a given number, then created a new cc record with the same number but a different expiration date, the original record was overwritten, rather than a new record being created.
I just stared at the thing for like five minutes, gathering the mental strength to reply with something other than "you're an idiot."3 -
Right now, everything. I started at a Consulting firm because I expected many new problems to tackle, solutions to develop and generally to always have a fire burning underneath my ass but instead I always develop the same standard bullshit.
I miss the days in my old job when there was just a problem and the task to solve it. When I stared down giant amounts of data, just KNOWING that somewhere in that mess is some structure I could exploit and that short moment of inspiration when I finally pinpointed it. The rush of endorphins when the solution became clear and everything fell into place to form a beautiful pattern amidst the chaos test data, git commits and numpy arrays.
Now its just "Yeah, would you just write another selenium testsuite that throws out fail or pass and wastes all the information because the only reason I'm a testmanager is because I'm too incompetent to do anything else and not my passion for the field".
The constant, mind numbing repetition of always the same patterns where the occasional dynamic element that becomes stale is the highlight of my work week... I would have never thought that making good money with easy work would ever get me as close to depression as it did.5 -
I was and still I am a good php developer I wanted to shift to MERN stack and then react native. I started learning react and node, although they were just javascript I never used javascript this intensely and then there was ES6 and 7. I stared it in the end of last month.
God knows how much I had to focus just to understand basic stuff. And then built my first project with react. This was the changing point for me, everything started coming all together. Believe me, I stared building react native projects within week.
I'm really happy to learn this stack. Starting tomorrow, I am starting a new project with user authentication and APIs. If anyone has any tips or suggestions for me then go ahead.1 -
When you used a whole Day to make a Ball kill a player, and All you had to do, was to allow collision while simulating physics.. Damn i stared myself blind on that shit!3
-
I go through cycles of what I want to work on during my off time. Sometimes I code utilities for video games. Other times I get engrossed in games. One of the games I like to play is Minecraft. Not vanilla Minecraft, but modded Minecraft. It scratches that itch for creativity, fun, relaxing, hanging with people, and technical interest. I am currently playing a medium sized older modpack that has most of the mods I like to play: magic, tech, building tools, dimension building and more.
I am early game on a server with some other people. I already overloaded the server with a population explosion of villagers I am melting down for emeralds. That was interesting. I started automating this and decided to try using ComputerCraft to automate some pieces of this. I stared at the code and just "no, I am not working on my off time". I am going to automate this another way. I used to really like computercraft, but it was code and looked like work. I find that interesting.
Anyway, this is random ass shit I do for fun. Wood house/shack, workroom and ore processing are with no walls, decent small tree farm, and a nuclear reactor in the basement...2 -
Tips for motivation appreciated...
I can’t get any work done and haven’t been for a few weeks. Even took a few days of.
Just stared at the screen the entire day.
Have no problem getting stuff done on personal projects..2 -
At work today I was told that a guy from some other area knew how to get me credentials to access a particular system I had some stuff to do. So I approached this guy later in the afternoon saying that someone had told me that he knew the stuff and could help me, and then I proceeded explaining my issue to him. Five minutes after my monologue he stared at me, at this point I was very confident I got my point across, and then asked: who gave you my name?
Who cares? Fuuuuuuuck my life 😤😤😤 -
So I yawned and rubbed my eyes. Then stared at the screen and watched the post rub sparkles flow across my vision. It was very relaxing and kinda beautiful.1
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