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Search - "the problem is me?"
This is fucking annoying with some clients.
Me: Hello, how can I help you?
Client: *explains problem*
Me: *tells possible solution*
Client: you sound young, could you connect me to a more senior person?
Collegue: Hello, how can I help you?
Client: *explains problem again*
Collegue: *gives same solution as me*
Client: Oh uhm but that's the same solution the boy I had on the phone before you told me.
Client: well he sounded so young...
Collegue: Being young does not equal being inexperienced/less knowing about something.39
A rare bug appeared. It was my duty to finish it.
SH = Manager
SH: So when do you think you can finish the task?
Me: I still have to analyze the problem. Give me a moment and I'll get back to you.
*An hour later*
SH: *Approaches my desk* Have you found the source of the problem?
Me: Not yet. Please give me some more time.
*An hour later*
SH: *the approach* You found it yet?
Me: Yes, I've found the the source of the problem, But... *explains the problem and thus concluding that it's a complicated bug*
SH: Can you finish it by tomorrow?
Me: I'll do the best I can but I am not entirely sure if I can finish it by tomorrow.
SH: OK great!
*The next day*
SH: *Le approach* Hey I have a colleague here that may be able to solve the problem, he has skills with XYZ. Ok, I will leave you two at it then. *the leave*
Helper: So can you tell me about the issue here?
Me: *explains the bug and the source of the problem*
Helper: Have you tried solution A?
Me: Yes sir, but it yields a different output... *explains what happened with solution A*
Helper: Well, that won't work. What about solution B?
Me: I've tried that, too. *Another lengthy explanation*
Helper: Welp, ok. I'll get back to you on that.
(...But he never came.)
*A few hours later*
SH: *A.P.P.R.O.A.C.H.* Hey I have this team lead from another department. I think he can help you out on this one. *L.E.A.V.E.*
Helper 2: What seems to be the problem?
Me: *Explains again with all the solutions I tried but failed*
Helper 2: Wow. That really seems to be a complicated problem.
Me (In my head): -_-
Helper 2: Listen, I need to get back to my team. I'll keep you posted if I happen to find a solution for your problem alright?
Me: Alright thanks.
*Towards the end of the day*
SH: *APPROACHHHH* Have you resolved the bug yet?
Me (In my head): You made me spend half the FUCKING day explaining to these people who didn't even give a piece of FUCKING SHIT to contribute to the problem and you are asking me if I am done with this FUCKING BUG? FUCK YOU, YOU SON OF A -
Me: No, it is not finished yet..
SH: You have to finish this because we don't have tomorrow.
Me (In my head): SHDIFHWISGSIFGSISBAUDBEIQBDIWGFIEBWIDHWIQBDOSBCISBDOSHDIAGSUSVDIFBDKDJWIQKDBDIDGSUWVDIABDIXBSIDBDIDBWUWGUSVDUWVDJQBDUDVWISHDUWVFG
I went home for the day.22
During a random school project.
Me: *Explains why team members idea is bad*
Team member: *Im going to do it like this anyways.*
Me: *add explaination of why idea is bad to git commit log.*
1 week later: some parts of the project dont work like they are suppost to.
Team member: *dude can you help me bla bla....(encounters issue i mentioned regarding his idea)*
Me: *no, i've already got too much on my plate. please, sort it out yourself....*
At the presentation
Teacher: *ask question about problem*
Team member: *tries to blame the problem on me....*
Me: *shows git commit log to teacher*
Me: *passing grade*
Team member: *failing grade*
Client: we want our logo in our new website
Me: ok no problem just give me the....
Client: but we dont want ppl to be able to download it.
Me: excuse me but that is not posible cuz...
Client: where is your faith! Nothing is imposible.
Me: proceed to stare in disbelief....27
Me: *uses HashMap* for a problem to count some elements*
Lecturer: why are you using HashMap?
Me: it's the best way of solving the problem
Lecturer: I haven't explicitly taught you what a HashMap is so why are you using it?
Me: Because I learn outside of what university teaches me
Lecturer: there's another way to do this
Me: enlighten me
Lecturer: iterate through the array using a nested for loop and count as you go along
Me: why the hell would I want to do that? That literally decreases the efficiency of my program by alot
GG lecturer telling me it's a better idea of making my O(n) runtime into an O(n^2) instead of complimenting my code.
Seriously what the fuck is up with the fucking education system. Since when was it okay to teach students how to completely fuck your code up and promote ways of making your code so inefficient?33
GF: I swear, you're spending more time staring at the screen than actually typing anything.
ME: Because literally 80% of coding is staring at the screen thinking about how to code something. My mind is an endless void of possible approaches to a problem.4
*Manager enters the room quickly*
Manager: Coffe2Code, we have a serious problem on the application, (We are working on a chat app).
Me: What? now just few hours before the Demo?, what is it?
Manager: when I send or receive a media message (audio or video) the sound is not playing, the file seems like corrupted !
Me: that's strange, let me debug it and see.
*Me spending an hour and could not even reproduce the bug..*
Me: Boss, I cannot see the bug, can I debug on your device quickly?
Manager: Sure, here it is.
Me: hold the fucking device, press VOLUME UP, IT WAS FUCKING MUTE. THERE WAS NO ISSUE MOTHERFUCKER.
Manager, oups ok good no issue then, thanks17
He: Hey could you please help me with my code?
Me: mhmm ok..
He: I've made this and this and this and this...aaand this and this and... Oh that is the problem. Thx for your help bro.
I'm proud to be a rubber duck.7
Friend : This is our logo for the site you are building for us.
Me: Wtf!! This is just a picture with text on it, do you have copyright of this picture?
Friend : who cares, we found it on google and we liked it.
Me: It may create trouble later
Friend: nothing...Just us it, we don’t have $150 for logo design
After few weeks
Friend: Hey best, we have problem with logo, there is this guy who keep emailing us about copyright, any advice
Me: you know the solution the $1501
What the crap is it with job applications and requiring freaking videos now?
I'm not some social butterfly that wants to be all friendly with everyone and a part of their goddamn lives. Give me a problem and/or some code and I'll happily make it work; give me an extrovert with a goddamn video call fetish and I'll fucking leave.
I'm an engineer, not your salaried girlfriend.44
Senior Dev: "Be mindful of what you email to the team, some may be rubbed the wrong way."
Me: "I'm going on a year, I figured it was okay to send a meme when appropriate like [the other guy]."
Senior Dev: "Well, [the other guy] has been here for 17 years, so it's sort of expected from him."
Me: "You know what would be weird? If I was here for 17 more years and then 'started' having fun with the team."
Senior Dev: "Yes, but [the other guy] is the only one doing his particular job, which makes him important, so he tends to get away with more."
Me: "No, I get it. If you're a linchpin you can reply with cat memes, but people like me need to mind their place."
Senior Dev: "It's an uncomfortable conversation, but it's all bureaucracy."
Me: "Duly noted. But could you please forward me the specific email I sent that caused the concern?"
Senior Dev: "I'm not sure what the exact email was, when it was sent, or specifically whom it offended."
Me: "Okay, because that would be like me walking up to you and saying that you have a problem that needs to be fixed, but I don't know what your problem is or why it needs to be addressed."
Senior Dev: "You're right, but just be mindful of the emails you send outside of the group."
Me: "I've never group-emailed anything outside of the team."
Senior Dev: "Well, I'll let you get back to work..."
Just had a feedback session.
Apparently one of my colleague has a problem with me.
The irony is - I didn't even knew the guy's fucking name until now.
I just spent 20m debugging.
Basically bootstrap nav wasn't working. Couldn't understand why not.
Figured out its a an issue with the JS interfering so I remove the script reference from my HTML. Problem solved.
Okay,cool. Now let's add that file back in and figure out what caused the issue.
Hm. This line looks like it might be it *comments it out*...odd. Problem still happens.
*proceed to comment out and test every function to see what could be causing this issue*. Still happens. Fuck it. *comments the entire file out*
what the fucking fuck. I remove the script reference the problem is gone. I remove all code from the script - problem persists.
...wait...are you fucking kidding me. I OPENED THE WRONG JS FILE WITH THE SAME NAME BUT IN A DIFFERNT DIRECTORY.7
User: "Hey, can you help me? My program doesn't work."
Consultant: "What is the problem? Are you using Turbo Pascal?"
User: "Yes, the program just blocks the machine."
Consultant: "Well, does it compile?"
User: "I don't know -- it just doesn't run. You see? There's the EXE file. If you run it, it blocks the machine."
Consultant: "And where is your source, the PAS file??"
User: "I wrote it and renamed it to EXE so it could run."5
PM: Bro send me latest version of the app
Me: But I"m not finished with x feature and it will crash the app in its current situation
PM: No problem bro just want to test
*5 minutes later*
PM: Bro app is crashing when I do x
Inner Me: YOU PEACE OF SHIT I TOLD YOU IT WILL CRASH!
Actual Me: throw a ticket I'll handle it later.11
One of our clients deploy their own server app. So this happened after a prod deployment. (4am)
*Cellphone rings while sleeping*
Client : we need you on the conference call now. URGENT!
*Gets on conference call*
*Client explain the problem*
*Explaining to the client that the problem is in their side (https connection not working, either network or certificate problem)*
*Client doesn't believe it and pushes me for a fix that I have no control on*
*4 hours later in a heated conversation*
Client : ok problem is on our side. We used our SSL certificate from staging with production and thought it would work.
Interviewer: How will you solve the travelling salesman problem?
Me: *explains the solution on whiteboard*
Interviewer: It is slow. Can you do it in linear time at least?
Me: It is NP hard so it is not possible. For a restricted case, it may be possible
Interviewer: You are stupid. Do not apply again.11
I installed an alarm app that doesn't turn off until you solve some math problem.
* alarm turns on
* solve the math problem
* get back to sleep
most dangerous thing in the morning is the " let me close my eyes for one second"9
Me: Why is there such a delay between the app and the hardware device?
Colleague: Ah, same old same old, TCP is just an inefficient protocol. We should stop development and build our own replacement to TCP.
(PS. The actual problem was his code)9
When i said that i use Linux, 3/4 of the class stared at me like i have a mental problem.
Then i said that i use duckduckgo and they stared at me like i was really retarded.
The sad part is that i'm in computer science department and my colleagues have not any clue about anything else than microsoft/google.12
I have had this conversation well too often:
- (him/her) Do you mind helping me with this problem I have on my computer ?
- (me) Sure, what is it ?
- (him/her) *proceeds to explaining the problem*
- (me) Ok, I don't know about this particular thing, you should try googling it.
- (the pissed off version of him/her) Never mind, I'll find someone who's willing to help me.
Please stop taking that as me not caring about your problem.
Googling things is basically what I do all day as a developer.
You really should try it. That thing is actually pretty useful.5
Customer calls since they got problem x
C: Hey its xyz we got a problem
Me: hey what's it About?
C: <explains problem pretty poorly>
Me: uuuuuh.. I've written it down and look to fix it as soon as possible
C: why? Just TURN OFF the problem
No. This is not how it works. This is not how any of this works.5
Annual performance peer review
Person who did review me wrote in the section “skills needed to improve”:
“He is introverted...”
Bloody hell!! What a big problem :) and how in earth you can “fix” it? And why everyone expected to be extraverted??11
I interviewed a guy with quite a few years of experience, university studies from a first world country, very long CV with stuff that he did, most of it relevant to the job, and 5-6 certifications, 2 of which relevant to the job, which would qualify him as an expert (as he himself declared in the CV), of a higher qualification than mine, but less experience.
Welp, if we're gonna hire someone with a higher salary, from whom I am to learn, I better come up with an interesting, but simple to understand problem, relevant to the position, that I would solve in 30 minutes, and give him 2h (surprise factor, unpreparedness, nervousness should be considered).
40 minutes in and I understand that there is lots of doing, lots of code, but the guy has no idea what he's doing.
I simplify the problem, remove the complicated bit. Turning it into a "business case description" of an entry level problem.
Same shit. In 20 minutes, zero progress. At this point the solution should be exactly 4 short lines of code. He gives me 50 that produce a completely wrong result, and he has no idea why.
I simplify further. I explicitly express the problem as the entry-level problem that it is - to count the number of interactions on the website in a specific day. That's it.
10 minutes more pass. I don't know why I'm wasting my time. Maybe I just want to be polite. Maybe I want to eliminate all doubt that it's not something else.
He couldn't even react to my explanation of why he got the wrong result, and that all he had to do is move some stuff around.
Certifications, experts, universities.
What the fuck people? Can't we be simpler, and instead be knowledgeable? The time it took him to write that list of certifications, he could've learned how to solve this problem from any introductory course.10
Coworker asking for my help on a crm framework I have never seen before. She was banging her head on the monitor by 1 hour. I read the stacktrace of the error (Java), and 30 seconds later I solved her problem.
Guess who is going laid tonight?
Not me, because she's engaged.6
Does anyone else have major issues with being interrupted whilst programming
I just lose track , I have it all in my head get an email read it try and get back into it but it takes me 10 minutes
Problem is I'm the main dev. I get a lot of emails 😔8
My boss asked me to do tech support today as one of tech support employee was not feeling well.
The very first call i attended, went like:
Me : Sir, this is xyz support desk. How may i help you?
*Listening his problem*
Me : Sir solution is pretty simple. Just do a Right click on application shortcut icon and then select "Open File Location".
Client : where can i find "Right Click"?2
The problem with me programming lately :
Mom: foooood is ready...
Me: Will be there in a minute. (deep inside I know that's a lie).
5 minutes later...⏰
Mom: food is getting cold!
Me: Yes I'm coming, testing one last thing...I swear !
30 min later I'll join the table...The guilt 😩 I'm sorry mommy 🙏
Anybody else with the same problem? 😅9
So lately I’ve been sending an http request with ajax instead of using classic form submit. Pdf and images need to be converted into byte64 string then send it to the backend, problem is if the size gets too big chrome crashes and showed me ‘Aw snap’, but it works on firefox. Thr file is size could be 3 to 100 mb (for pdf). So my question; is this my problem or just browser limitation?20
Application has had a suspected memory leak for years. Tech team got developers THE EXACT CODE that caused it. Few months of testing go by, telling us they're resolving their memory leak problem (finally).
Today: yeah, we still need restarts because we don't know if this new deployment will fix our memory leak, we don't know what the problem is.
WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING IN THE LOWER REGIONS FOR THREE FUCKING MONTHS?!?!?! HAVING A FUCKING ORGY???????????????
My friends took the time to find your damn problem for you AND YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS???
It was in lower regions for 3 MONTHS and you don't know how it's impacting memory usage?!?!?! DO YOU WANT TO STILL HAVE A JOB? BECAUSE IF NOT, I CAN TAKE CARE OF THAT FOR YOU. YOU DON'T DESERVE YOUR FUCKING JOB IF YOU CAN'T FUCKING FIX THIS.
Every time your app crashes, even though I don't need to get your highest level boss on anymore for approval to restart your server, I'M GOING TO FUCKING CALL HIM AND MAKE HIM SEE THAT YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT. Eventually, he'll get so annoyed with me, your shit will be fixed. AND I WON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR USELESS ASS ANYMORE.
(Rant directed at project manager more than dev. Don't know which is to blame, so blaming PM)28
Spoke to a programmering student who insists on writing his Java and python code in PARAGRAPH format, like an essay (the teachers do not teach this). Tried to explain why this is a bad idea. He explains to me that if others can't read his code that it is their problem and that he would never make a silly syntax error like missing a semicolon or a bracket. Called me stupid and walked off.
Life will be hard for him.9
It is 7am on a Saturday, I am still in bed, and I have just come up with the math equation I need to solve a coding problem I spent all day yesterday. Now to figure out how to roll the fiancé off of me so I can get my laptop....3
I have been gone a while. Sorry. Workplace no longer allows phones on the lab and I work exclusively in the lab. Anyway here is a thing that pissed me off:
Systems Engineer (SE) 1 : 😐 So we have this file from the customer.
Me: 😑 Neat.
SE1: 😐 It passes on our system.
Me: 😑 *see prior*
Inner Me (IM): 🙄 is it taught in systems engineer school to talk one sentence at a time? It sounds exhausting.
SE1: but when we test it on your system, it fails. And we share the same algorithms.
Me: 😮 neat.
IM: 😮neat, 😥 wait what the fuck?
Me: 😎 I will totally look into that . . .
IM: 😨 . . . Thing that is absolutely not supposed to happen.
*Le me tracking down the thing and fixing it. Total work time 30 hours*
Me: 😃 So I found the problem and fixed it. All that needs to happen is for review board to approve the issue ticket.
SE1: 😀 cool. What was the problem?
Me: 😌 simple. See, if the user kicked off a rerun of the algorithm, we took your inputs, processed them, and put them in the algorithm. However, we erroneously subtracted 1 twice, where you only subtract 1 once.
SE1: 🙂 makes sense to me, since an erroneous minus 1 only effects 0.0001% of cases.
*le into review board*
Me: 😐 . . . so in conclusion this only happens in 0.0001% of cases. It has never affected a field test and if this user had followed the user training this would never have been revealed.
SE2: 🤨 So you're saying this has been in the software for how long?
Me: 😐 6 years. Literally the lifespan of this product.
SE2: 🤨 How do you know it's not fielded?
Me: 😐 It is fielded.
SE2: 🤨 how do you know that this problem hasn't been seen in the field?
Me: 😐 it hasn't been seen in 6 years?
IM: 😡 see literally all of the goddamn words I have said this entire fucking meeting!!!
SE2: 😐 I would like to see an analysis of this to see if it is getting sent to the final files.
Me: 🙄 it is if they rerun the algorithm from our product. It's a total rerun, output included. It's just never been a problem til this one super edge case that should have been thrown out anyway.
SE2: 🤨 I would still like to have SE3 run an analysis.
Me: 🙄 k.
IM: 😡 FUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOU
*SE3 run analysis*
SE3: 😐 getting the same results that Me is seeing.
Me: 😒 see? I do my due diligence.
SE2: 😐 Can you run that analysis on this file again that is somehow different, plus these 5 unrelated files?
SE3: 😎 sure. What's your program's account so I can bill it?
IM: 😍 did you ever knooooow that your my heeeerooooooo.
*SE3 runs analysis*
SE3: 😐 only the case that was broken is breaking.
SE2: 😐 Good.
IM: 🤬🤬🤬🤐 . . . 🤯WHY!?!?
Me: 😠 Why?
SE2: 😑 Because it confirms my thoughts. Me, I am inviting you to this algorithm meeting we have.
Me/IM: 😑/😡 what . . . the fuck?
*in algorithm meeting*
Me: 😑 *recaps all of the above* we subtract 1 one too many times from a number that spans from 10000 to -10000.
Software people/my boss/SE1/SE3: 🤔 makes sense.
SE2:🤨 I have slides that have an analysis of what Me just said. They will only take an hour to get through.
Me: 😑 that's cool but you need to give me your program's account number, because this has been fixed in our baseline for a week and at this point you're the only program that still cares. Actually I need the account to charge for the last couple times you interrupted me for some bullshit.
*we are let go.*
And this is how I spent 40+ useless hours against a program that is currently overrunning for no reason 🤣🤣🤣
Moral: never involve math guys in arithmetic situations. And if you ever feel like you're wasting your time, at least waste someone else's money.10
A few weeks ago a client called me. His application contains a lot of data, including email addresses (local part and domain stored separately in SQL database). The application can filter data based on the domain part of the addresses. He ask me why sub.example.com is not included when he asked the application for example.com. I said: No problem, I can add this feature to the application, but the process will take a longer.
Client: No problem, please add this ASAP.
So, the next day I changed some of the SQL queries to lookup using the LIKE operator.
After a week the client called again: The process is really slow, how can this be?
Me: Well, you asked me to filter the subdomains as well. Before, the application could easily find all the domains (SQL index), but now it has to compare all the domains to check if it ends with the domain you are looking for.
Client: Okay, but why is it a lot slower than before?
Me: Do you have a dictionary in your office?
<Client search for a dictionary, came back with one>
Me: give me the definition of the word "time"
<Client gives definition of time>
Me: Give me the definition of all words ending with "time"
Client: But, ...
Never heard from him again on this issues :-P5
I realized it that the only time I talk confidently with a girl is when I am solving some technical problem or helping her understand some computer theory.
Pre and Post - this phase, I can hardly find any topic to talk and later they are also done talking to me.
Should I consider to search on how to talk to girls??
Google already suggests that even in incognito mode.
Is there someone else with me in the same boat?34
When ever someone asks me to fix their PC I ask them to sit down next to me so I can show them how I did it. First thing I do is open up Google search the problem then look them dead in the eye and smile 😂😂😂. I Then proceed to implement the fix from the first page of results. I don't get many repeat requests... I'm Such a passive cunt.😂😂😂5
Our web department was deploying a fairly large sales campaign (equivalent to a ‘Black Friday’ for us), and the day before, at 4:00PM, one of the devs emails us and asks “Hey, just a heads up, the main sales page takes almost 30 seconds to load. Any chance you could find out why? Thanks!”
We click the URL they sent, and sure enough, 30 seconds on the dot.
Our department manager almost fell out of his chair (a few ‘F’ bombs were thrown).
DBAs sit next door, so he shouts…
Mgr: ”Hey, did you know the new sales page is taking 30 seconds to open!?”
DBA: “Yea, but it’s not the database. Are you just now hearing about this? They have had performance problems for over week now. Our traces show it’s something on their end.”
Mgr: “-bleep- no!”
Mgr tries to get a hold of anyone …no one is answering the phone..so he leaves to find someone…anyone with authority.
4:15 he comes back..
Mgr: “-beep- All the web managers were in a meeting. I had to interrupt and ask if they knew about the performance problem.”
Me: “Oh crap. I assume they didn’t know or they wouldn’t be in a meeting.”
Mgr: “-bleep- no! No one knew. Apparently the only ones who knew were the 3 developers and the DBA!”
Me: “Uh…what exactly do they want us to do?”
Mgr: “The –bleep- if I know!”
Me: “Are there any load tests we could use for the staging servers? Maybe it’s only the developer servers.”
DBA: “No, just those 3 developers testing. They could reproduce the slowness on staging, so no need for the load tests.”
Mgr: “Oh my –bleep-ing God!”
4:30 ..one of the vice presidents comes into our area…
VP: “So, do we know what the problem is? John tells me you guys are fixing the problem.”
Mgr: “No, we just heard about the problem half hour ago. DBAs said the database side is fine and the traces look like the bottleneck is on web side of things.”
VP: “Hmm, no, John said the problem is the caching. Aren’t you responsible for that?”
Mgr: “Uh…um…yea, but I don’t think anyone knows what the problem is yet.”
VP: “Well, get the caching problem fixed as soon as possible. Our sales numbers this year hinge on the deployment tomorrow.”
- VP leaves -
Mgr: “I was thinking the same thing. I’ll have networking run a trace.”
4:45 Networking run their trace, and sure enough, there was some relative path of ‘something’ pointing to a local resource not on development, it was waiting/timing out after 30 seconds. Fixed the path and page loaded instantaneously. Network admin walks over..
NetworkAdmin: “We had no idea they were having problems. If they told us last week, we could have identified the issue. Did anyone else think 30 second load time was a bit suspicious?”
4:50 VP walks in (“John” is the web team manager)..
VP: “John said the caching issue is fixed. Great job everyone.”
VP: “But the caching is fixed? Right? John said it was caching. Anyway, great job everyone. We’re going to have a great day tomorrow!”
NetworkAdmin: “Ouch…you feel that?”
Me: “Feel what?”
NetworkAdmin: “That bus John just threw us under.”
Mgr: “Yea, but I think John just saved 3 jobs. Remember that.”4
So the CSS code I'm working on has a terrible vertical alignment problem on every browser except IE11. Using `display: flex` =_=
I'm not joking this alignment glitch is driving me nuts! Deadline tomorrow.15
My friend brought me a simple python problem. He expected the output to be 2,2,3... instead of 2,3... I didn't know python, but with a quick tweak to differentiate the two prints, I understood that the range() function is exclusive.
Before coming to me, he asked his senior dev & that guy just said - "Oh, your editor has a problem". 😐5
Sometimes the design decisions of big companies amazes me.
I wanted to contact support of Cloudflare. The only way to submit a new support query is by logging into the account first.
My problem is that I can not log into my account. What a bunch of retards.6
This just makes me mad every time.
I have a friend who asks for help in coding and just reads and copies my whole code, doesn't even understand what's going on and just copies the whole damn thing (the variable names too). Also, says I don't know how to do it properly because I indent the code and he wants it all in a single line.
If there is any error in the code, just tells me that there is a problem and does nothing and keeps nagging me if I solved the problem every 2 minutes.
Once I solve the problem, just copies the stuff again and then brags to others about the code and takes all the credit.
After bragging, if someone asks him for help he just tried to match the code line by line and worry by word. And tells them their code is wrong if they are using a different method of solving the problem and asks them to do it like him.
Being an introvert, I don't go shoving my stuff in others faces and criticising their code.
But the professor knows I am good, so that works for me. :)17
Unaware that this had been occurring for while, DBA manager walks into our cube area:
DBAMgr-Scott: "DBA-Kelly told me you still having problems connecting to the new staging servers?"
Dev-Carl: "Yea, still getting access denied. Same problem we've been having for a couple of weeks"
DBAMgr-Scott: "Damn it, I hate you. I got to have Kelly working with data warehouse project. I guess I've got to start working on fixing this problem."
Dev-Carl: "Ha ha..sorry. I've checked everything. Its definitely something on the sql server side."
DBAMgr-Scott: "I guess my day is shot. I've got to talk to the network admin, when I get back, lets put our heads together and figure this out."
Me: "A permissions issue on staging? All my stuff is working fine and been working fine for a long while."
Dev-Carl: "Yea, there is nothing different about any of the other environments."
Me: "That doesn't sound right. What's the error?"
Me: "No, the actual exception, never mind, I'll look it up in Splunk."
<in about 30 seconds, I find the actual exception, Win32Exception: Access is denied in OpenSqlFileStream, a little google-fu and .. >
Me: "Is the service using Windows authentication or SQL authentication?"
Dev-Carl: "SQL authentication."
Me: "Switch it to windows authentication"
<Dev-Carl changes authentication...service works like a charm>
Dev-Carl: "OMG, it worked! We've been working on this problem for almost two weeks and it only took you 30 seconds."
Me: "Now that it works, and the service had been working, what changed?"
Dev-Carl: "Oh..look at that, Dev-Jake changed the connection string two weeks ago. Weird. Thanks for your help."
<My brain is screaming "YOU NEVER THOUGHT TO LOOK FOR WHAT CHANGED!!!"
Me: "I'm happy I could help."4
me: *tries to find a file in system*
Ubuntu: No problem bud, here's a thing which you're looking for
macOS: Sure thing chief, here's your stuff.
Windows 10: Here's a random thing I found on the Internet which is totally irrelavent. By the way, I see you're using Chrome, would you like to start Microsoft Edge instead? 🙃10
Finally solved the mystery, why / and * are together on my keyboard so that there is no problem for me to use single line comment and multi-line comment.7
do you ever get that feeling when you suddenly wake up from sleep and immediately have the solution that has been bothering you for weeks or is it just me?
it happened to me today. woke up and magically had a solution to a problem I had with unity (it works now).6
Me: ya hi, we integrated with your API and I'm receiving error x
Provider: ok we'll disable validation, plz check
Me: ya it works, what's the problem? I used a GUID for id and I'm sure it's unique, here is URL and request body
Provider: you have something wrong in your implementation. Fix it and it will work
Me: aaand what's the wrong part of my implementation?
Provider: id is not unique, fix it. *Hangs up*
I sometimes sit and wonder, how and why does this kind of people get hired, FOR FUCK SAKE YOU ARE THE PROVIDER AND YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG!
fucking useless ...7
Awesome wife accountant person notified me she is closing the business pending divorce. Apparently boss man didn't like an actionable woman after all.
So I've registered my own business and will go this new route.
What a strange ride the last week has been.
I suppose this is an expected conclusion, though I thought she'd initiate the divorce.
Oh well, not my problem!
I'm gonna have a serious talk with my bosses the day after tomorrow. We have so much to do, we are basically at 150% workload. Problem is: they don't pay us for overtime.
This has been going on for 18 years in the company. It will not be easy. But they either start paying our overtime or I am out (and probably taking the whole dev team with me.)
Wish me luck!27
"There is a problem with A, could you check it out? It's urgent for the client"
Me: Okay, just open a ticket for it too.
*Working on A"
After about ten minutes:
"Hey, there is a small problem B and it's also urgent for the client, we need you to check it out"
Me: I'm working on A and you are yet to open a tick... (Interrupted)
"But it's urgent and it's a small fix, we can fix it and push it to prod, A can wait for a bit"
(Since when is it a "we"?)
Me: *sigh* fine, lets see what's B is all about...
*After going over problems C to Z*
"Why isn't A ready yet? The client's mad and it was to be ready as of today"
Me: Because you had problems from B to Z and they were all urgent according to you so after each request you asked of me I had to postpone A with you knowing about it.
"But A is for today!"
FUCK YOU, YOU WORTHLESS WASTE OF JIZZ! YOU RAN TO ME FOR EVERY GOD DAMN URGENT PROBLEM YOU HAD FROM OUR SHIT OF A CLIENT AND INSTEAD OF TELLING ME THE PRIORITY YOU JUST THROWN IT ALL IN A RANDOM ORDER!
FUCK YOU! I WISH YOUR FATHER WOULD'VE SHOT YOU OUT THE WINDOW INSTEAD OF INSIDE YOUR MOTHERS CUNT!5
The developer's date
Me working as a developer, after a date with a cute girl
Bestie: Bro, how was the date?
Me: We cant be in a relationship.
Bestie: Why man? She is cute, she likes you and she has got a decent job.
Me: Yeah the third one is the problem. She is a SOFTWARE TESTER!!!😫9
I am searching Google for a strange error message I have in my program. Find one stack overflow thread from a couple of years ago with one answer approved by the OP and upvoted a remarkable amount of times.. I am reading the question and it is exactly my problem...to the point. So I am reading the answer and it works and solves my problem and I am happy. Let's see who is the OP of the thread .... Um, what? No?! It's me?!?! And who posted the answer to the question? What??? Also me?!?! Guess I had this problem years ago, figured out a solution and posted the answer.
This brings me to some things:
1 - I am a better person than I imagined i would be because I never thought I would document my findings publicly
2 - I am the biggest idiot for not recognizing my own post
3 - Dafuq, why did I stumble over the very same problem twice??
4 - on the other hand it is totally cool to see stuff I did and think "wow, I managed to do this??"2
Inner Me: Where the fuck is this bug coming from
> Set a breakpoint in every single place where the method I'm using is being called.
> Try calling the method before every function call
Inner Me: FUCKING DAMNIT! It's been hours now
Inner Me: No way it's the library I'm using.
Inner Me: That couldn't possibly be the problem
> Try running it again and delete some more shit
Inner Me: FUCK MEEEEEEEE
> Getting delirious
> Begin to look at some stupid memes.
> Come back to it.
> Have an Ah-ha moment
> Try running it again but rearrange the order of the method calls
> Still no luck
> try git stashing a bunch of my changes
> git stash apply them back
> erase the method call entirely
Inner Me: well that sort of worked, but now all my numbers are incomplete
Inner Me: FUCKING FINE!!! I'LL LOOK IN THE GODDAMN LIBRARY
Inner Me: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK a stupid integer casting was occuring to my floats!!!
Now Talking to my girlfriend.
Me: The problem was in the library I was using
Girlfriend: How are you going to fix it if it's in the library?
Me: ... I can, because I wrote the library...
Me: FUCK ME RIGHT?
Me: I guess moral of the story; sometimes the problems starts with ourselves
GF: Hahaha. Thats Deeep2
Everytime I hear "there's a problem" in my office I cringe so bad I have the impression I'm making holes in my teeth.
I hate this "janitor" / "plumber" role I have here, so insulting in terms of brain power.
** randomly codes something **
** colleague breaks silence **
C: Phlisg? There's a problem.
Me: what now?
C: Well when I enter a title that is 500+ characters for my blog post, it breaks the layout.
Me: obviously the title is too long. Shorten it.
C: I can't because [reasons] (unfortunately true reasons)
Me: ** deep sigh ** yeah, will look at it... ** proceeds to hide anything longer than 10 characters **
--- 3 days later
C: Phlisg? there's a problem.
C: the text is too short, can you make it longer
Me: ** FFS ** guys, you should've asked for a "Word-type" website if you just wanted to do any kind of layout. No, can't, sorry. Choose either between broken layout or shortening your damn text.
-- 1hr later, pm comes in
PM: Text is too short
Me: Yep. Any longer will break everything visually
PM: can't you fix this?
Me: Yes I can, but it'll be a whole CSS revamp because it was not MEANT that texts should be so long.
PM: How many hours?
Me: ** overestimating ** 10 hours (2.2 days of work)
PM: nah, okay, just add it as a side project
** me, inside : WOW, WHAT A FUN PROJECT OMG **10
Boss: "is it done yet?"
Me: "I've been telling everyone we have a problem and I need all hands on deck. I've already analyzed the issue and explained it to you and the options but YOU PEOPLE NEED TO DECIDE or I decide and probably break things along the way..."
Why does everyone ignore me when I need help but are ok asking me when they need help?
thought I'd check why I'm getting connection timeout on my app
I think the problem is me and not the code3
Is it just me that is addicted to the feeling when you solved a big problem with the code and everything just works afterwards? Its such a nice feeling!!3
Customer: We don't know what we want, but we want it yesterday.
Sales: No problem.
I'm not even mad or stressed anymore. You didn't ask me before, so why should I bend and break, so that you don't have to deal with staving the customer. Most of the time, he changes his requirements or is the bottleneck himself, anyway.2
Dear Colleague who ended a call I overheard today with the sentence "I'm off next week, if there is anything - anything! -, call me on my mobile phone!". Fuck you. If you value your work more than your family, that's not only your problem. You're fucking my clients expectations, too. I don't think you're a hero. You're a moron.4
Person: So what do you do?
Me: I'm a programmer
Person: So you're good with computers? You know mines been having this problem...
Me: *Kicking them in the shin and running is always an option*2
Me: sudo apt-get update
PC: Noope. There is a problem with a package.
Me: Ugh... ok I'll fix it. *20 minutes later* Fixed. Sudo apt-get update
PC: Noope, the package cache file is corrupted.
Me: GO FUCK YOURSELF LINUX OMFG.
Oh, I fixed it.
I LOVE YOU LINUX.11
Me reading a forum after long hours of debugging and research...
YES THIS IS IT THIS IS MY FUCKING ISSUE!
* Me reading some answers I have tried already *
COME ON GIVE ME THE ANSWER
* Me reading the last answer *
"I was able to resolve the issue thanks for all the answers...
OP marked problem as solved
FOR FUCKS SAKE GIVE ME THE SOLUTION OF FUCK OFF6
So I recently started going to a university, and I am being taught C. I have previously learnt C++ in school so its all pretty easy for me compared to those who are programming for the first time.
So, one of my classmates run into a problem with their code so he asks to check where he went wrong. So, the teacher comes and checks his code and then concluded that the compiler is F****** broken!! And i am like FFS theres a missing semi-colon, even the compiler pointed it out....just because you couldn't figure out the problem doesn't mean the compiler is broken.10
Today a few friends got together and built my gfs new computer. I just watched because.... I'm a hardware n00b :p
Anyways, it took them about 2 hours building all the stuff together and now we're done installing Windows from via disc. The problem is, it's 2015 windows. So we're updating.
And it already takes more time to update windows than building the actual computer.
(Btw that's me in the background, super [not] comfy codepen-ing)8
Boss: I have a demo NOW, but there os an error message on that page.
Me: okay, give me sometime to elaborate the problem..
Boss: No No please, this is urgent
Teacher requests help with projector. I go to the classroom.
Me: What seems to be the problem?
Teacher: Yes, I just can’t get this projector to show image from the computer! I’ve hit every single button on the remote!
Me: .. The computer isn’t on?
Me: There is no power on the computer? Have you turned it on?
Teacher: .. What?
I thought maybe she had accidentally shutdown the PC, but no. She had just walked to the classroom and just turned on the projector.. Didn’t even touch the computer..
Heard the students snickering when I left the classroom.1
I am starting to see red flags in the new place I joined 6 months back. The environment is practically non-existent cause its a 14 personnel company. The problem is the founder does not listen! Like every fucking thing you suggest, ask or question is immediately dismissed! And I work directly under him!
Also I just got a 20 minute lecture on passion, commitment, patriotism and why I should forego my festival leaves coming next week when I mentioned that the approach we are seeing work was something I suggested long back but was not considered! And yes I am in office on weekend!
FFS can I not get a single normal fucking workplace in my whole fucking career to work peacefully!!!3
Ah the wonders of working with non-technical people. 😤
I had a logistical problem. The SSD on my laptop crashed.
Me: No biggie just request new one.
Them: Sorry we don't have any on stock.
Me:Okey then give me a new laptop.
Them:Ok fine here you go.
Me:I specifically required 16 GB of RAM.
Them: ok here is an extra 8gb
Me: I need DDR 4 not DDR3
Them: don't have any. We will restock shortly.
A couple a days later a colleague requested 8gb DDR3 and got DDR 4.
The fuck is wrong with people. Can you not read?🤔🙄2
I have been working 9 months as consultant for a company thru a vendor. The contract will finish in two weeks, the company want to continue working with me, I can't be hired directly, should be thru a vendor. The problem is that today I confirmed that this vendor bill the company the double and want me to sign again with them for the same rate, I can't switch to another vendor because there is a non-compete clause. What would you do in my case? I feel like that squirrel12
When i'm stuck on a problem for hours, as soon as someone asks me what the problem is the solution hits me like a brick wall mid explanation.6
FFS customer, if you want me to test with real data and solve your problem quickly, then maybe NOT send me an export in which the social security number says "12" for about a quarter of the entries in the dataset and in which the date format is still wrong.
Sincerely, the pissed off dev who told you this about 4 times already.
PS: I hope you step on a Lego.4
Google a problem
Click on first link that details the exact problem I'm looking for. This guy has exactly the same problem as me.
First answer is "Oh my god just google it". There are no other answers.
Go back to google. The entire first page is jackwagons just telling people to google it.
God damn it, I am googling it.5
Me: "Of course it's technically possible. The problem here is that this would make the UX very confusing"
Project Manager: "So, when will it be done?"2
Some people kinda chewed me out because I leave my phone in DND mode and turned off all my notifs on Facebook, Whatsapp, Slack and E-mail.
The problem is, they don't realize how much they keep bothering me.
I miss so much when the only tools clients used to contact me were e-mail and telephone.7
College: „man, the project works in chrome but doesn’t in IE“
Me: „so, what is your problem ? The app works as designed“6
I don’t live in the EU, but hearing all the complaints about article 11, 13, etc. is really vexing me.
Article 11 in particular.
Why the hell would you force companies to pay taxes for linking? Why the hell would you tax websites for including sources? Do you want no sources? Do you want misinformation to become a bigger problem? What the hell is wrong with whoever proposed that bill!?!?
The internet is a place for relative freedom. A place of message boards and communities we’ve created. To impede that (beyond making sure it doesn’t facilitate hanious crimes) is just plain wrong.8
I never had any problem with Google tracking my activities. I love their services and I feel like they're using my data to really serve me better.
But I do have problems with Amazon and Facebook.
Amazon keeps disturbing me with their annoying ads recommending things I've already purchased.
Using Facebook on the other hand is like standing nude in public.19
Me: This is a good article about a CSS problem I always have and can never remember how to fix. Imma bookmark that.
Me, the next time I have that problem: Dang. Why doesn't this work. Better Google it.3
Working as a software engineer but: co-workers randomly walk into my office to ask me <<insert random IT problem (i.e. mouse not working etc.)>> while I'm deeply focused programming. Trying to close my office door results in co-workers backbiting...
Why can't they just go to the IT administrator who's work it is to handle their fucking problems?3
I call this one the tester than knew too much.
Note: The server the tester is running on has a hard drive that is breaking down...
Tester: Remember the error I talked to you about yesterday?
Me: Yeah, what about it?
Tester: Well the server hasn't recovered yet and I haven't restarted anything...
Me: Well the application itself hasn't crashed so our monitoring application doesn't seem to notice that the service is in a bad state. The error seems only to have brought down certain threads within the application.
Tester: No, I think there is a different issue here and has nothing to do with that error, the application is still doing things.
*tails the log*
Me: As I said some things are still running and are unaffected by the error.
Tester: NO! It has to be caused by the other error I had a week ago where my file got corrupted. As we said I removed the file, restarted it and it worked again, but had the same problem a day later...
Note: The problem is not related, this time the application is running out of file descriptors
Me: Well... If the problem is the same it would have complained about the file descriptors then aswell, not an I/O error.
Tester: Nope, I think you are wrong!
My cs degree helped me learn how to learn. No it didn't teach me the technologies I use today, but I now know that I learn best through struggle and that is invaluable. Struggle feels a lot like frustration so it can be confusing in the moment, but knowing that it's the feeling where I learn the best keeps me at the problem with a positive attitude.
Also I made a lot of great friends.1
Why isn't this working? I've wrote this same type of code at least 1000 times. Why must there always a problem? Literally every time I try and get something done there is always some stupid error and it's PISSING ME OFF. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MY BRAIN AN...oh...I misspelled "fucntion"8
I work in a bitcoin startup , my fucking boss really wants everyone to use ubuntu because of security and all , the bad thing is i am the only guy who knows how to install and deal with it , so when any one joins or has some problem he always bugs me and the thing is i am an android developer not a sys admin and now he fucking want to get 2 factor in ubuntu desktops when they log in16
Me, two weeks ago, adding yet another function onto an increasingly complex webservice: "hey uh this is getting pretty confusing, why don't we structure the request this other way so at least it makes more sense."
Manager: "just leave it as is, let the other team worry about how confusing it is. It's their problem now, I want you to move on to a new assignment."
Now- the other team is confused by the webservice and does the requests wrong, resulting in failures. Does it become my problem again when they report that my webservice isn't working?
Yes, it does.4
This was some time ago. A Legendary bug appeared. It worked in the dev environment, but not in the test and production environment.
It had been a week since I was working on the issue. I couldn't pinpoint the problem. We CANNOT change the code that was already there, so we needed to override the code that was written. As I was going at it, something happened.
Manager: "Hey, it's working now. What did you do?"
Me: *Very confused because I know I was nowhere close to finding the real source of the problem* Oh, it is? Let me check.
Also me: *Goes and check on the test and prod environment and indeed, it's already working*
Also me to the power of three: *Contemplates on life, the meaning of it, of why I am here, who's going to throw out the trash later, asking myself whether my buddies and I will be drinking tonight, only to realize that I am still on the phone with my manager*
Me again: "Oh wow, it's working."
Manager: "Great job. What were the changes in the code?"
Me: "All I did was put console logs and pushed the changes to test and prod if they were producing the same log results."
Manager: "So there were no changes whatsoever, is that what you mean?"
Me: "Yep. I've no idea why it just suddenly worked."
Manager: "Well, as long as it's working! Just remove those logs and deploy them again to the test and prod environment and add 'Test and prod fix' to the commit comment."
Me: "But what if the problem comes up again? I mean technically we haven't resolved the issue. The only change I made were like 20 lines of console logs! "
Manager: "It's working, isn't it? If it becomes a problem, we'll work it out later."
I did as I was told, and Lo and Behold, the problem never occurred again.
Was the system playing a joke on me? The system probably felt sorry for me and thought, "Look at this poor fucker, having such a hard time on a problem he can't even comprehend. That idiotic programmer had so many sleepless nights and yet still couldn't find the solution. Guess I gotta do my job and fix it for him. I'm the only one doing the work around here. Pathetic Homo sapiens!"
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that it's over but..
What the fuck happened?5
Some office incident reminded me of this old joke,
Boss: Why is the website (platform) offline?
IT Guy: There is a problem with MySQL.
Boss: Oh, then you could change to OurSQL or YourSQL.
This always cracks me up, 😂😂😂
Me: Hey, can you help me with that?
* Looks at code *
Ah, you just have to...
* Tries to type *
Uhm, do you the vim plugin?
Me: yeah, is that a problem?
Coworker: Weird flex but it's ok
* tries to type solution *
Uhm, do you also use another keyboard layout?
Me: Yes, I use the US layout (instead of the german layout)
Coworker: I'm done with this, you type
My fav interview was at my previous job. It was a junior position. The lead was a very friendly and wise guy. He kept pushing me (positively) with subtle hint until I get a code right. After completing each problem he give me elaborate explanation about the meaning of the problem and how to approach it from other angles. It felt like I'm in front of buddha who is making me realize the inner working of the world. Didn’t get 50% of the questions right, still he recruited me because "You were very curious and you were having fun solving problems". Best one and half years of my career.4
Haha really clients make me laugh!
Yes you can have your website with all the bells and whistles, but sorry it costs money.
Do these people think we live on fresh air, while the reep the rewards for all the hard work we have done for them.
The problem today is everyone wants everything for nothing. 🤔1
With all the master being renamed to main & other similar renaming crap happening because people are offended.. how is it that noone has a problem with wash your colors & whites separately?! O.o // random thought when doing the loads the other day..
Or is this also a thing people are complaining about and just hasn't found a way to me yet.. ?!? 🤔3
I have read everything available about blockchains and I still didn't understand why a company should need one.
I don't know if the problem is me or them8
I don't need you to reiterate what the problem is. I am aware. I was the one who told you what the problem is. Via email and Slack. Why do you keep restating it to me like you are the one who figured out? I know the table isn't syncing with the third party object. I'm trying to figure out WHY. No amount of "I'm pretty sure the sync process is broken" will trigger a solution. Stop coming into my office every 5 minutes with a new "revelation" that wasn't even your own. This isn't my code, and since the owner of said code is not here to fix it, I have to spend some time figuring out how this damn thing works. SO PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LET ME WORK SO I CAN FIX THIS2
This was a while back. I was hosting a site at a hosting company's 'vps'. I had 1gig for the mysql databases. Problem is, for some reason the server didnt let me have more than 300mbs including everything (there were some videos on the site). I contacted them and they only replied that its ok on their end. Okay, makes sense. So i opened ssh and started looking for the problem. After a bit, i figured out that my site is hosted on a 1tb drive and i could see all the other partitions. Meaning they just slapped a bunch of users data on the same drive. So i wrote an assembly program to offset the mysql files by ~500 mbs. Turns out that put me in an unoccupied 100gb partition and the site was still working properly. So i offset everything to there and i had a 100gb vps for like $5.2
User: "My computer is broken!"
Me: "What seems to be the problem?"
User: "I can't go to any websites."
Me: "It appears our connection to the internet is down."
User: "No it's not, look" *points to Wi-Fi status*
Someone else disturbing me while I'm thinking about technicalities. Makes me lose my shit because recollecting everything afterwards is often more difficult than the problem itself.
Note to self: tell cleaning lady to keep disturbances to a minimum when I'm working, and turn notifications on the Fandroids off before starting work. No I'm not interested in that Telegram message right now. And God bless OnePlus for putting in a physical slider for that.. more phone manufacturers should start doing this.4
I just got a bugreport for an ages old release of a software which was assumed finished. Problem is, i couldnt find the source anywhere.
"hey, could you send me the file so i can check the bug?"
*sends jar file*
"yay im saved"
thanks java, for being easily disassembled 👌😍1
Something is really fucking wrong with people in my company. They fucking calling me after 5PM on Friday when the server is down. What part of my role you fuckers don't understand. I'm not a Network Engineer and I don't have fucking access to the fucking server.
Call the fucking Network Engineer. If his not picking up his phone then that's his fucking problem not mine.
(Bang the Table) Fuck this shit4
People talk about how the use of Linux as a desktop requires an inordinate amount of time, as if that's a unique problem in Linux. There is no such thing as an operating system that I don't spend weeks and months tweaking to make my own.
The difference is that Linux doesn't resist me like other OSes.2
Yesterday my cousin called me to fix his scanner, he said that it didn't work anymore. When i went to his house to check it out, the scanner worked properly! In the 99% of cases, the problem is between the device and the chair2
So I decided to install Arch on my Vps.
Problem: no connection from Vps to internet.
Info: I have terminal access from my hostings panel.
Solution: basic troubleshooting and Google
Problem: this hosting uses outdated install image with broken systemd-networkd.
Solution: install networkmanager
Problem: no internet
Solution: download networkmanager and dependencies on my laptop
Problem: How do I upload them?
Solution: put them in a tar archive, then base64 it and copy paste it via the panel.
Problem: That base64 is over 30MB. No browser lets me copy and paste so much text.
Solution: Write a quick and dirty Java that reads a .txt file and presses buttons.
Problem: Browser freezes after one second
Solution: Thread.sleep(10) after each character, and Thread.sleep(1000) after 10k characters for the browser to catch up.
It's currently going and I have no idea how long it will take. I'll post an update when it finishes.
And people ask me why I love programming. It can help solve so much problems with so little work.
Edit: according to some quick calculations this will take about 5-6 hours, so I'm cancelling it, sine it's past midnight now. I'll start it up tommorow before going to college1
She: Hey, if I send you a video (made of photos), could you please rotate the images (they are rotated 45 degrees)?
Me: hmmm sure.
*She sending the video*
Me: Wait... there is some text over the rotated photos...
She: That's a problem?
Are you fucking kiding me? How the fuck I can rotate *only* the images in a video where you put also some text (not rotated)???
Can't you visualize that if I do that, the text will be rotated 45 degrees and the video will be still wrong?1
if(!dev_related && is_life_related) ReadOn();
So today I received 4 job rejections... 4 in one day...
That raises my rejection tally for just this year 48, I just want a fucking job! Even got confirmation that 3 of the 4 rejections were because I only have 2 prior job locations... THATS THE FUCKING PROBLEM!
You complain about me not having prior jobs so you don't let me have a chance at other jobs...
No fucking wonder unemployment is a thing -.-4
My partner says I'm too much of dry logic and lacking in emotions. The way I want to find logic in everything and ignore illogical spontaneous emotions... Isn't helping me in here.
Just wanted to vent out and ask whether this is the curse of the nature of work... with tech I am in (I fantasise it to be that) or is it just My individual problem?28
Yesterday night, pushed code that work normally to prod server, website down, internal server error, too many connection to MySQL server, tried to fix it for 4 hours, nothing to do, removed the new code, still the same problem, in my head, I told myself that I'm not good at programming (not the first time), send an email to the host, they tell me the problem is from them and they fixed it. And now I know I'm not bad enough.2
My best skill is problem is:
*** problem solving ***
Really, at least in all the teams I've been working until now, I'm always surprised by myself. How fast I am in spotting the problem root and find or suggest a solution. Even on things I have almost no knowledge.
My worst skill is:
*** problem solving ***
Being so effective make me everybody's slave.
Everybody always rely on me for any kind of weird shit. If I try to "outsource" the problem, after one day it will bounce back on me and I solve it in no time.
So I've no time for anything else that solving other people's problems.
Constant interruptions and context switching.
And worst, my bosses don't understand why I don't finish my tasks. And I cannot blame my team.8
>be me, a student taking Discrete Math and probability
>Professor really loves hearthstone, gives out a problem set that is hearthstone themed
>Somebody posts the problem on the hearthstone subreddit
>A few commenters wrote down their answers
>A week later
>9 people get caught cheating.
>Turns out the commenters did the problem wrong. Professor took screenshots of the comments and told the graders to check if the submitted homework matched the picture3
Adventures with house IT
I'm currently experimenting with PowerShell but my scripts won't run even though I've got every local permission. The error message indicates it's a GPO problem.
"No problem" le me thinks and calls IT hotline.
After 2 incompetent and unprofessional technicians i've still got no solution. I'm waiting for the second tech to call back because he "needed some time to get to know PowerShell" (he is a trained and certified SysAdmin).
During my call he couldn't decide if it was a GPO problem or not.
And this is just one story of their incompetence...9
Me: Asking a question that boils down to an xy-problem on stackoverflow.
Me: Answering my own question pointing out that my question basically is an xy-problem and pointing out a direction to properly solve it.
At least I am not the only one having a brainfart.
I'M A SENIOR DEVELOPER NOT A BUSINESS ANALYST...
IF YOU GIVE ME SOME CRAPPY LEGACY CODE THAT SOMEONE RANDOMLY DECIDED TO USE, THE ONLY WAY I CAN UNDERSTAND IT IS BY RUNNING IT AND REVERSE ENGINEERING THE "BUSINESS LOGIC".
ADD THAT WITH BAD INPUTS... THE ONLY THING YOUR DOING IS WASTING MY TIME..
JUST BURN THE WHOLE THING AND GIVE ME THE REQUIREMENTS OF WHAT YOU ACTUALLY WANT....
It feels like I've been fucking a pig all week...
Oh and now my team agrees and will look to get the actual requirements from the business...
This feels like a hallow victory.... As that was the first thing I told them to do....
So I went through the first round Google interview process and was declined for not "finishing fast enough" even though I did in fact solve the problem in the allotted time.
Either it's a BS excuse and they were just interviewing me to interview me for a quota or there is some invisible time limit that I am not aware of.
Really annoys me when I just don't know exactly what I'm doing wrong and instead get what feels like cop out answers.4
WTF IS SUPPORT FOR?
A: Can you help fix X?
B: Can you help Y?
C: I see Z just crashes, fix it.
Me (in my mind): Can you tell me WTF is the actual problem and what investigation you have done?
Why the fuck are we paying you monkeys?
My company should just pay me all your salaries, and I will write a monitoring system to send out these types of "alerts" in a month.4
Excuse me Ubuntu.. what the fuck is your problem??? (Here I am waiting for fan boys standing for their favourite OS btw)48
Me: Can you write the exact code one more time but in C language this time, so we can see it?
Other: But why, what's the problem?
Me: I don't know, maybe is garbage collector which collected all your code because IT LOOKS LIKE TRASHHHHH :@:@:@:@2
Don't you just love when people hit you up on facebook saying their laptop/PC broke, tell you the symptome and then immediately ask:
- What could be the problem
Well, fucking trillion different things? What am I a fucking wizard? You want me to conclude why your PC is shutting randomly down when all you told me is "It's shutting down... like, randomly" and I don't have any insight into your PC and it's contents?3
My co-worker pointing out there is a problem with my code that isn't implemented 100% yet. Hinting she wanted me to finish it over the weekend.
I'm starting to think that "Machine Learning" is the most unfortunate term that the industry has ever seen.
How people approach a problem here where I work: "I have a problem, I don't know how to solve it, I don't have any data. Let's implement a Machine Learning algorithm that will solve the problem for me."4
Just got a new job.
All good, really enjoying it.
Only problem is, the canteen smells of chips and it's making me very hungry... Water for me :/9
<html><body>shit everywhere<meta>more shit</meta></meta><\meta>countles garbage code lines</body><head>[copy&pasted html code that actually works <img ... />]Tons of shitload</body></body></html>
Me: what are you reading?
PM: some email code that doesn't render well in the browser...
Me: let me see... OMFG!!!! who was the author of this garbage?
PM: Oh! it is not that bad! It was working well 'till today...
Me: But... but... this is really bad! you can't send this to customers!
PM: I think that the problem is the "/" at the img's end...
Colleague: I cant install windows on our playcomputer. you broke it.
<Me walks to the computer, he looks away>
<silently deletes the debian entry in the nvram>
<installs windows, without an problems>
Me: So, where is the Problem?
Colleague<slightly angry>: I made it exact like you!
The person I report to just seems to want a mindless drone who implements whatever he has chalked out.
I plan out a sound solution for a problem that we're working on, and run it by him cause he asked me to show it to him before starting out with the work.
He doesn't even bother to read or understand it, and instantly rejects the whole thing in favour of his new solution.
What a big waste of time and effort. Don't understand what the dude's problem is!5
Today I solved the problem assigned to me by changing one character. Simplest fix ever. Except that this problem is not on my project, and I don't have control over this project, so I can't merge my pull request or deploy the code, and the dev that does hasn't answered email today, and he's not scheduled out, and he's not in his office. Whatever, I'm just gonna say it's fuck it Friday and call it a week.1
Prediction of a future rant:
Guys I'm starting a Devrant addiction recovery movement.
I've become addicted since it fills me with delight to read all the rants.
It's so bad that my work has suffered.
The first step is admitting I have a problem
Actually it doesn't matter, all my projects get canceled anyway so noone noticed I stopped coding.5
Debugging an elusive database query problem. Attached to server process about 10 steps into the call stack trying to figure out why a a column value is not being properly cast. In comes Windows. You picked the most inappropriate time to restart for updates without asking me. Restart VM, authenticate with VPN, wait for 2FA, start up Visual Studio, enter credentials for the millionth time to authenticate with version control since the remember me checkbox doesn't work, open solution. Now where was I? Then Windows pops up a notification to inform me the updates couldn't be installed. The following comic strip comes to mind.
I tried to solved a problem for two day. And I was about to give up. I went and watched a movie with all my frustration. As I was checking on devRant while watching . I decided to google again using my phone this time. Immediately I got an idea and back to my computer. Three minutes and I was done with a problem that took me 2day's. All was because I was using RC5 in angular 2 and the module I was using is RC1 angular 2 and they had not indicated the change in the documention 😢😢😢
I did it, I know what the problem is. I want my boss to actually care about me as a person and growth rather than a cog for his system.9
Sometimes when shit is getting difficult I lay on my bed reading a book for a while. Then I'll go for a run for half an hour to go back to the problem I was solving with a clear mind. Works everytime and keeps me healthy in the process.2
I really couldn't help but laugh when I found this gem of an error message. I mean, I'd literally know just as much if it served me a blank page.
If you can't describe your own god damned error message without calling it 'generic', IT IS NOT A GOOD ERROR MESSAGE!
I'm glad they informed me it's an application error though. HERE I WAS THINKING MY TOASTER WAS THE PROBLEM.2
PM said I modified code that change UI so user may not familiar with. So, how could I know what is user familiar with if PM doesn't include spec or user manual to me.
No one tell me how to solve the problem, since you just want problem to be solve I solved it my way. :)2
Stackoverflow is full of pedantic cunts who can’t admit they don’t know how to answer your question, I just spent 20 minutes having 4 people tell me because they didn’t have “the full code” they couldn’t help with the problem, despite by the end of me posting more and more (completely unrelated) code they were LITERALLY complaining because I hadn’t added fucking “#include” statements 😑9
Usually my problem is that my colleagues are too distracting.
I just put on headphones and play black metal or hypergrind.
The first is relaxing, the latter overloads my brain to release me of other distraction. It helps me to escape and keep only those things in mind that I actually need.4
*Nervous student comes in for the first interview I am conducting as a developer*
Me (as an interviewer): What is best approach to search data?
Student: It will take linear time but if data is sorted, we can do it in logarithmic time.
Me: [Smiles] Take a hint Hash Map?
Student: Yes, with it, we can do it in constant time.
Me: Okay, Bloom Filter anytime?
Student: *sweating* noooo...
Me: Okay. I am a developer so I know this.
Student: *about to cry*
Me: No problem but why will you search data when there is no problem? Don't you have better work.
Student: *confused* yup
Me: *laughs but immediately controls* Take it lightly. You know what you need to do this job. You are HIRED. :)2
I feel like an idiot... I just realized why my builds were failing.
My entrypoint was setup as to not overwrite a specific file if it was already there. The problem is, the said file is auto-generated, and I need a different configuration for it to work properly in docker. But I forgot this, and the result was a failing build, plus me scratching my head for a few hours. :(3
I have a problem calling ressources.
I have a list of 4 ppl that can help me.
3 of them have no idea and the fourth is too busy to answer me.
This is 1:05AM and this is the 3rd time I start over my question to Stack Overflow because I don't know what the fuck is going on with jQuery UI, and when I finally get it, Google finds me both the question and the answer of the same and only dude that had the same problem than me FIVE FUCKING YEARS AGO and he couldn't solve it.
Fuck this, tomorrow I'll start over with VueJS.3
Does anyone have a true measure to recruit freshly graduated? yesterday I had a technical interview with a candidate, the problem is he didn't know even the basic of coding in Java, like String equality and hashcode, he also didn't have a solid understanding of basic design pattern. But what made me want to give him a chance is that he seemed highly motivated and eager to learn. So I don't know what to do guys?10
I'm still in school and everyone in my class knows that I'm some sort of a computer/tech guy. And whenever the teacher has some problem with any of their devices everyone turns to look at me expecting that I would know the solution. Even when it's like when the device is not connected to the school wi-fi. Like how am I meant to know your wi-fi password. (And sorry for any misspellings. English is not my first language)1
Me: "Yeah so I have this problem, I generated an environment and setup a NodeJS docker image on it and it returns "Cannot find public IP address", help"
SO: "Yeah but what are you trying to achieve? Here is a link of the documentation everyone saw and that didn't help at all."
Me: "I just want to... reach the fucking server? Without trouble? Please?"
Some people need some cocaine in they morning coffee, if it can help then open their fucking eyes1
Best non dev activity for me is riding public transports home after coding. It's so underwhelming that my brain focuses really well - comes with the problem of looking crazy when I take out my laptop in the middle of the subway1
One of my hobbies is to repair stuff.
In front of me is a Xiaomi Notebook air 13.3", a very nicely build device.
But it's driving me nuts, the screen is completely glued onto the front glass.
How the fuck am I supposed to exchange that display with a new one?
The main problem with those devices seems to be the display-cable in the hinge.
It might short 3.3V to 19V backlight, killing the display, the hdmi controller and the audio-chip.
2 ez fixes so far, but that fucken display.
And the absolute worst is that there are 0 official replacement parts available for any of the Xiaomi notebook's.
Problem with code:
Computer: "Error on line 189: ....."
Me: "But the code ended on line 58 "
Programming is funny
(i wrote it here because devRant allows us to post one rant in 2 hours)4
Just when you think everything is working fine, after installing a new better router, it starts to stop working..
Then you start googling the error messages in its logs..
And find out loads of other people having the same problem !
Why didn't I hear about this when everyone was telling me how much better this new router was than my old one !9
When a lovely gentleman from across the sea calls me and says
"hello I am from the computer department, there seems to be a problem with your pc"
me:"what department is that again?"
Him:"The computer department"
me:"Could you also tell me what that loud samba music is in the background?"2
Me:"<generic coworker's name> could help me with my problem."
*sees that his/hers office is in the other building at our complex*
"Naaaaaah i'll google it again and waste another 2 hours of my time."
It is really hard not to feel arrogant when everyone around you is a shitbag.. but that makes me feel like a shitbag myself so the problem kind of solves itself.2
Today, I was sad because of a problem that I could not fix for the past month. I was so desperate and disappointed that I seriously considered switching career. Then mentor helped me fixed it. To say that I went ballistic is an understatement, I went intercontinentally ballistic.
How is everyone's day going?2
It drives me Insane that AWS still doesn't support Swift 3 for iOS. We're almost to the point where Apple is going to drop Swift 2 support in XCode and Amazon STILL has not gotten it.
I've started deploying Gateway APIs in Objective-C and linking them to the bridging header just so we can finally move foreword in our company and quit relying on legacy Swift support. Which is something I was really trying to avoid because we don't like mixing languages unless absolutely necessary. It's not a problem, but it's incredibly annoying to me. What IS a problem is having to start new projects already using legacy code from the very beginning.
What is amazon going to do when the next release of XCode comes out? Tell all new customers to downgrade?
Why even offer native Swift APIs if you're going to go this long and still not migrate, Amazon?!
I'm working on a project that is being shipped to production this friday, so we're killing all bugs and finishing all remaining features.
Sadly, one of the main devs just took his vacation last friday for THREE WEEKS, and being the small team we are, it feels like we'll need to work non-stop extra hours every day to meet the deadline.
The problem is, I can't sleep right now and it's 2:30 am, so fuck me.4
The most annoying thing about being an IT professional...
Microsoft never calls me to tell me there is a problem with my computer. WTF!
I use Linux, but still, I totally miss all the fun I would have with that wanker...1
Background: Process issue in the plant that the workers said was a software problem. I’m a Software Dev Manager
Exec: This is broken and it is a software problem. We just noticed it this week.
Me: Couldn’t have been us, relevant code was changed this time last year. Sounds like a process issue.
Exec: Can you give me an exact date it was changed last year?
Me: (Seriously, WTF?... checks git...) It was changed on December 2nd, 2016. Couldn’t have been us.
Exec: Can you detail that change for us?
Me: (GTFO) No, not my problem, stop trying to make it my problem.3
Is it mean to tell someone you can't help them with their coding problem because you can't take the way they smell?
A coworker of mine has some major BO mixed with cigarette smoke and it makes it hard to focus as I try to help me.
Am I an asshole?14
Learning to code is like learning to write when you were younger. It can be sloppy or clean but if you keep at it it'll probably become clean. But, with these sites like code academy that accept only one solution to the problems they present it's as though you're being told that everything you're doing is wrong eventhough you get a solution to the problem in the end. It bugs me that these sites want people to code the exact same way.
Our teacher who teaches us Linux doesn't even know how to run shell script. Every time we ran into the problem he is like you should solve by it yourself. Most of his lectures seems nonsense to me and looks like I'm wasting my time and money7
Dev, boss and guy who know logic is looking at the server.
Problem: it's not responding
Boss: we need this running now! Otherwise the sales won't go through
Dev: give me a chance, I just got here
Guy: have you tried turning it off and on again?
They did so and at works.
Boss: guess we don't need to hire another dev, this guy knows what he is talking about, he is some kind of server expert..
At work, how often do you create your own apps? As opposed to adding a new feature to an existing one?
I am thinking maybe the biggest difference between me and everyone else on my team is because I have a lot more experience creating my own apps.
So when I get a problem I tend to start by thinking how to create a new app for it, what would be the ideal way to solve the problem. And then if needed, figure out how to integrate it into an existing project.
Whereas everyone else thinks about how to solve a problem within the context (and constraints) of an existing app.17
What is with IT and their obsession with error messages?
"If there is no error message, I cannot help"
Your not going to get an error message because the problem is VPN is messing up my DNS due to tunneling. There is no error other than me not having Internet if VPN disconnects unless I reboot.2
My biggest flaw as a programmer, is without a doubt, that when faced with a complicated problem, that usually involves making a lot of ugly hacks. Or when facing a solution that makes no sense, usually because it is a hack for a complicated problem.
I shut down.
It's as if there's some ethical reason (more likely immature reason) as to why I do not want to proceed. I am too focused on being upset over why this is a problem in the first place.
Usually it is related to me not being able to fix the originating problem (usually UX design or some programmers idea of a "clean" solution).
I've sometimes spent hours just staring at the problem and ruminating over why it shouldn't have had to be a problem in the first place.
Does anyone else react like this? I would prefer to just be able to not give a damn and dig in so I can finish whatever I'm doing.5
It's finally working.
Just needed to upgrade the drivers.
Using RGBL + 3 28BYJ steppers.
Just have one tiny problem and need help...
The resolution isn't right... Instead of moving mms, if I send a move of 64mm (one stepper revolution) it just turns one time instead of moving 64mm... Where are the settings to change this?
Btw this is the best birthday present ever, from me to me :-D also... My parents bought me a 3D printer, waiting for it to arrive... Me happy today34
Do you need a degree to become a software engineer ?
Now this is a question I’ve seen many people ask. I personally have no degree and I’ve been doing programming for the past 10 years (since I was 18 ). Whatever I learned, I learned from reading and watching tutorials.
So far It wasn’t a problem for me.
What do u guys think and what is your experience is this matter ?9
Fellow dev: I am trying to put a joomla site in git.. Maybe you can help
Me: Sure what's the problem.
Fellow dev: I added the .gitignore file but when I clone the site onto the server all the files in the .gitignore are missing.
Me: Any files you add to git ignore are ignored by .git.
Me: Dies a little bit inside, is guy has been working with for over a year.
This morning I got a reply to my tech support email:
The problem was that the dynamic pages on my website are no longer being served as dynamic pages and so IIS is throwing errors on every page load. Seems to me like they've done something their end because I didn't touch it when it happened...
The tech support email essentially told me to rename all my files from .cshtml (ie. a dynamic page) to .html.
I'm not expert, but I doubt this is going to solve the problem...4
I am learning exploit development on Windows and I have a problem with it, when I analyze the registers ESP and EIP.
I am able to overwrite both ESP and EIP.
The problem is that I can not make use of "mona.py". "Mona.py" keeps showing me that there are no pointers and any os dlls whereas that is not true.
Immunity Debugger is working completely fine.
I need "mona.py" to find pointers to ESP, but it says there is none.4
So I have a job interview on Monday for a marketing firm that works on a LAMP stack. Not a problem, since that's what I learned on and I love linux, but I haven't seriously touched PHP for years. So now I'm going back to do a refresher on OOP PHP and I'm like, "what the hell is a variable variable?"
Wish me luck..4
My biggest sin is overshooting the problem - developing something "with the future in mind" which ends up way more complicated than it should be.
It works, works great, but nobody can maintain it because of the complexity, and because I usually write no comments in these situations.
But hey! At least I'm aware of it and working on fixing it in me.3
once I have to code in a public train station’s restroom just because I have no place to sit and floor is not comfortable enough because people keep walking by distracting me,
So I cover the lid, pull my laptop out, use my phones hotspot connect to remote server to fix the problem.
The smell is not good.2
A coworker needed to check the number of users for brand. So he selected all rows from users table and then used php's count function. He released this piece onto production.
Later that day he asked me if there's a problem with the production env because his code is working on local.2
When having to fix parts from an other programmer's code, do NOT concentrate on the small code expected to be wrong, instead read and understand the whole program around it!
1) Why is this code here
2) What does this code do
3) How does the code solve the problem
(just happened to me 😅)
So we now answer IT support calls. I’m a developer that does help desk support work. Is it just me, or does anyone else find that extremely fucking annoying? I don’t want to spend my day being interrupted all the time to solve an IT problem when I’m employed as a developer. Fuck sake. The worst bit about all of this is I can’t find another job because there aren’t any. Glorious.2
My current school project where I build a gps thief lock for my moped had me realized one thing. I don't want to go into Hardware Developing. The first problem took me about 4 months until I finally gave up and solved it differently. And this goes on and on and on. You fixed something and the next day it doesn't work anymore for some reason. I never had this problem when coding. It's fun to do stuff with electronics but coding is just way more rewarding. Anyone else had the same experience?1
Once a friend of mine had a problem with is program but it would only happen from time to time, so he didn't get bothered with it.
So, because I'm an evil person, I did a print in his program with the error message.
After a day debugging, he found the error. He really wanted to kill me.
When you're stuck on the best solution to a given problem and your brain just isn't working properly.
I have such an annoying habit of just trying to power through everything and it frustrates me that programming is one of the few situations where this just harms you.
However it is teaching me a great deal of patience and understanding what my body/brain is telling me.
I need to sleep more.
Discussing with my boss about our EDM server :
Him: I don’t see why you want Single Sign On that bad on the server
Me: to authenticate on my C# service without setting passwords on source code or files
Him: I don’t see the problem
Me: do you really want my admin password written in Clear on a properties.conf file?
Him: ... okay SSO is a priority now
"Warning: Functions are not valid as a React child. This may happen if you return a Component instead of <Component /> from render. Or maybe you meant to call this function rather than return it."
WHERE. TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK THE PROBLEM IS HAPPENING. OR SHUT THE FUCK UP.3
Me - Ooo I've got this idea ! This will fix this "No ones" problem in programming.
(Thinking this will change the programming for everyone)
Few minutes later ...Searching stackoverflow for silly syntax errors.
...Finds a 2 years old project from some guy, who already finished working on the idea and answering question as "This is a bullshit idea!, Never try to make something like this."
Me - (Suffering from existential crisis)2
As you grow older, both professinally as a dev and as a team player, you realise that a complete rewrite is rarely the better answer to the problem at hand.
With that being said, I'm rewriting the glorified-mass-of-infernal-human-feces-with-corn-bits-masquerading-as-mere-shit out of a production service right now. Wish me luck.2
Monday morning: "Hey uuuh the client receives 3 mails instead of one and only one of them is good, there's a problem, go fix it"
Yesterday, me: - "Hey I've been looking everywhere, made hundreds of tests, there's a problem with the files attached to the mail, they're unreadable"
-" I told you it's in the code, you didn't look deep enough"
This evening: "Umm it seems that there's indeed a permission issue. So I'm gonna rollback everything you've done since Monday"
One year. One year and I live this hell.
> Teacher uses a for loop to draw random dots
> Teacher explains we can't adjust the individual dots after the loop
> Teacher says we need to use classes
> Teacher creates classes
> Teacher doesn't show a solution to the initial problem
> Me is triggered as fuck3
What things do people around you keep repeating related to programming?
For me it is surely "linux is soooo permissive", which is true but still funny when people start saying it unrelated and simply as a mean to jokingly explain why something doesn't work how is supposed to. Even if the problem is not even on a computer4
Pm orders me to integrate data from several closed systems into a new CRM, problem is... corporate security won't allow me to push data between these networks as there are extremely sensitive data on these systems. So I disobey PM or corporate if I do it and ive told both the issues. 4th round with this exact issue now.4
Me: hey guys there seems to be an integration problem?
Vendor: hacky workaround
Me: no that’s a hacky workaround, please check the integration
Vendor (sometime later): yeah so we made an engineering change like, a while back, which fundamentally alters stuff.
Me: so shit is fucked because you don’t think customers should be informed ahead of release? Dude do you not want our money?
Me: “[Company] tech support, how may I help you?”
Caller: “Hi, I’ve got a problem. Your program is telling me to get a pet snake. I don’t want one.”
Me: “I am sorry Sir I didn't quite get that. Can you please repeat?”
Caller: “It’s giving me an error message telling me I need a snake to run it.”
Me: “Read the message to me please.”
Caller: “Error: Python is required to run this script.”5
Just received a client who needed me to add content to his website. I do provide content adding services where clients have to provide all the content I will add to their website.
The only problem is that this client gave me the content for his about page, which only consists of three sentences. Seems simple? Well the three sentences are big enough to be considered three paragraphs!1
So another story of our stupid trainee, this fucker talks to a customer while i was comming back from my lunch break. He aks me if i can tell him how to fix the problem of the customer. I walk over to his place and look at the error message. It says: "Tag: customer_country is missing. Needed by supplier". Sometimes i wonder why this dude is even here.
So I use 4 differents setups in my life nowadays
My main PC at my home, which is on Windows 7
My PC at work, which is on Windows 8.1
My Cloud PC for gaming and video editing, on Windows 10
My travelling PC, which is on Ubuntu.
The Ubuntu, it's okay, no problem. But trust me, that's a real pain in the ass to switch from one OS to another.4
Urgh clients, it doesn't work ? Ok how bout you tell me the error that's causing it and I might be able to help
All I get is it does nothing 😐
And you think I can diagnose a problem that apparently does nothing, from at least 10miles away with no remote desktop 😞
Project Lead in the morning: This one story needs to be finished till 2pm for the QA department.
Me: No problem, everything is finished and there is only one test case open. It should be finished in no time.
Also me: Spends 7 hours of intensive lagacy code debugging to find out why this shit isn't working sometimes. Try to fix it, broke some other things. Retested all cases and found 3 other minor bugs. End of the day, story is still not finished.
Now: Project Lead is mad, QA guy is mad, I am mad.
Conclusion: I hate debugging legacy code and I never again trust the last open test case!!2
So I am a Ruby guy since I don't now when. Probably forever. Lately I have to code Groovy. People are telling me all the time that Groovy is like Ruby. Let me tell you: No! Groovy is not like Ruby. Groovy is shitty Java with a slightly more usable syntax. Nothing more. It is so so tedious to code and reminds me why I stopped coding Java like 8 years ago. The fact that some features resemble Ruby syntax makes it even harder for me because I cannot code and facepalm at the same time. And I automatically type Ruby code all the time because it looks so similar in some places. I don't have that problem with other languages. Just Groovy. And the fact that Java people like it tells me how bad Java really is. It's just dirty. Guys, I feel so dirty now. And showering this morning didn't help. Had to get that off my chest. Thanks for "listening"9
Feeling the need to drop a client who always wants the "beer rate" for LOTS of work. Problem is, it's still income I wouldn't otherwise have, I'm a "people pleaser", I hate to cut people loose when I know I can be of help to them, and I hate seeming rude. Anybody got any tips for me?2
I'm supposed to find why a pdf is not generated correctly. But here is the problem :
I don't have access to the production to see the bug and the pdf they gave me is different to the ones I generated myself. But ! It's not over :
My local version does not generate the same pdf as the acceptance testing version !
So here I am, with three different pdf and only the possibility to modify the local one, where the bug isn't.1
So after working on a website for like a month to make it kinda pixel perfect in every resolution on every device the web designer just tells me "ok, you should move this whole thing up 30px"
Ok, no problem, I change the CSS for that div and make it all go up 30px
The very next day he tells me the while thing is fucked up and not aligned any more
I mean, is was all the same as before, nothing changed!
Would love to share my experience with tutorial hell.
A year ago, if there is no tutorial teaching me how to do something, I am totally lost and stuck for days. Then, I decided to see how people got out of it.
The answer turned to be simple, get comfortable reading documentation AFTER you determine what you are trying to accomplish.
In other words:
1- Determine the problem and the desired end result.
2- Break the problem down into multiple smaller ones.
3- Determine the end result of the solution of each of those problems.
4- Read the documentation concerning what you need to use to solve each problem.
Over time, you would find the need for a tutorial much less in order to solve a problem. Plus, documentation would ideally give the optimal solution for your problem.
Would still be cool if you find a tutorial explaining something hard to grasp, but never depend on finding one.2
Just got a call from my father who wants me to help my stepmom with her phone. The GPS is bonked, sometimes apps won't download, and she's at the end of her rope. I don't have any problem, but at the same time, there's some things I can really only do by having physical access to the device. ARGH
So is it just a standard thing, now, where interviewers get you to do a coding problem remotely on a shared notepad while they watch you over video chat? For me at least, it is the most uncomfortable style of interview I've experienced. I don't think I'll ever get through one :(4
What is the longest time any of you have been debugging one problem?
For me it was at my first internship where I was creating a multithreaded qt application. I had a problem that took me two weeks to figure out. I was trying to call a function from a qt thread when it wasn't the main thread. Took me two weeks to figure that out since it was my first time doing multithreaded applications, and the fix was dead simple.
Any similar stories?1
I've probably spent more time on refactoring than on actual coding with this personal project. The problem is, ideas come to me while developing, and that means I have to go back and change things every time. Is that normal or is there a better way?3
I code for 2 1/2 days straight, I'm in the zone, no comments, because I'm not in some comp sci beginners class, finish up, test it the only problem is with... All of it... Just considering writing another program to comb through that one and find the mistakes for me3
My last week of vacations. A brake on bussiness programing... lol
Receive a phone call from a colegue:
Hi the equipment it not working.
Me: ( upset with the acuracy) reboot that shit!
Colegue: Its working. Thank you.
Collegue: The printer is not working!
Me: 😡 Im on vacation. Check the cable or try to reinstall the printer...
Colegue: Its working. Thank you.
2 fucking hours later:
Collegue try to call
Me: Did not answer... 😡 Fuch this shit.
Colegue send text message saying that they had a problem on the video projector but its ok now..
I'M ON V A C A T I O N3
The usb drive I just used had a little mechanical switch so that the computer wouldn't recognize it. Why?? When I want to deny a computer access to sth. I just unplug it. It took me ages to figure out what the problem was (the switch was in the same color as the rest of the drive and it is in a really awkward position, also it is dark) and It doesn't make any sense at all. Why, just why?2
Repeater + Android 4.2.2 + Android web server
I have a stupid problem.. Mas that is the opposite of everyone else (so no Google can help me)
I want my android phone (my personal server) to connect directly to the router, and never to the repeater (the port 80 is blocked this way)
How can I do this magic?
Me: there seems to be a problem in the Web Sphere app server...I would recommend u change it to weblogic
Client( IT division head of his company): is it compatible with websphere soap..??
Me: soap is generic, websphere is just an app server
Client: no but we have been told to use only websphere soap, is weblogic having that..??
Me: soap is protocol, app server is changeable..
Client: no we want only websphere soap.
Me:....(trying to find the nearest exit)4
The manager get me a new framework for a project in iOS.
But there is one problem, he unzip the framework in Windows OS, unfortunately in Windows unzip file differently from OS X. the result is a framework very strange, and it doesn't work!
You understand the battle between me and him.5
User: your python script is giving me error, <insert stack trace indicating a missing directory on the system path>
Me: Did you add the directory to the path
Walks over to desk checks path, finds a space after the semicolon separator before the directory.
Removes space, problem fixed
Why Windows, why can't you just strip the white space.
Returns to desk, hides underneath and waits out the end of the day 😿
First post on devRant... Aaaaand it's university hw... I can't wrap my head around this...
So, the problem is: I have to implement writing and printing 64 bit decimal integers (negative and positive with 2s complement) in NASM Assembly. There are no input parameters, and the result should be in EDX:EAX. The use of 64 bit registers is prohibited.
There is a library which I can use: mio.inc
It has these functions:
- mio_writechar (writes the character which corresponds to the ASCII code stored in AL to console)
- mio_readchar (reads an ASCII character from console to AL)
It also has to manage overflow and backspace. An input can be considered valid or invalid only after the user hits Enter... It's actually a lot of work, and it's just the first exercise out of 10... 😭
The problem is actually just the input - printing should be easy, once I have valid data...
Please help me!3
Why is programming life so terrible and shit. I don't mean I hate it, but it gets me FUCKING mad sometimes. I was writing a post full of "fuck" and "shit" words about vuejs error which has stucked with me for about 3 days and before posting it, my problem got solved. for the love of god... WHAT THE FUCK2
One of the biggest IT magazines in Germany just posted an article with the caption: "What is coming up with Android O and will it fix the update drama?"
Are u fcking kidding me?! Android is not the problem in that case and no new version will fix a problem, that is related to upcoming versions of android, which are distributed by external providers, that are fcking independent from google... Wtf..6
PHP is awesome, but it annoys me that there is no typing and that you still can get errors based on types...
Other than that, not being able to catch all errors in one catch and especially not being able to natively catch fatal errors is my biggest problem...
(not natively meaning that you can use hackish solutions but there's no "fatal error" class to use in your try catch, and you're using the register shutdown function not as intended...)11
Every time I try to use Android Studio in any linux distribution it makes file system read only mode and I have to use fsck command every time. Is there anybody who have the same problem as me 😐😐3
I am making a GUI wrapper in C# for a CLI tool written in Python. Obvioisly, the python exe is launched with the Process class and the output streams are redirected so I can process the console output. The problem is that some of that output is only printed if sys.stdout.isatty() returns True. Is there a hack that would allow me to launch the process in a way that python thinks that there is a console/tty attached?
I really don't want to touch the python source files, because that would be a messy solution. I also don't want the process to spawn an actual console window.1
Competing on different subjects while in school have taught me how to work efficiently under pressure. My teachers have given me a systemmatic approach to problem solving, from divide and conquer (math), careful reading and analysis of the problem, as well as good documentation (physics).
And last, but not least, I learned to type fast, which is really helpful in speedy expression of thoughts. And for that, I gotta thank IRC.
I have this one friend of mine, he lives in another city but he asked me to help him out with programming, the problem is , the guy is impossible to help.
Just yesterday I was to help him install ruby on Ubuntu, he texts me saying he is getting an error, I ask him to send me a screenshot , he says he's working on it, now he has been stuck for two days, who can tell him he doesn't have to die installing ruby, and you don't have to suffer every error you get and getting help doesn't mean you ain't learning.3
Everytime there's a bug for me, being English is the problem.
In the US, the spelling color is used to match the spelling of the word's Latin etymon, and to make all derivatives consistent (colorimeter, colorize, colorless, etc). Elsewhere in the English-speaking world, the spelling colour has been retained1
Me ( solves a problem on Hackerrank)
If it's showing error :- Hell Why the fuck it isn't working ? 😑
If it works perfectly :- Hell, How the fuck it is working ?😼2
Worst interview ever happened a couple of years ago.
Both me and the company were certain we were a match. The only problem was the physical distance. I live in another city, and is quite stuck because of family matters.
They turned me down because they didn't want me commuting for four hours a day, nor did they believe working while commuting would be a good solution.
So close, yet so far away.6
Working with at a web dev job with a guy who is a really great programmer, the problem I have is I'm dyslexic and remember code is pretty hard for me but when I get in the flow I can do things. Him on the other hand is a machine, reads something and can implement it immediately. Do you guys have any tips on how to do better? I don't want to look like a complete noon.3
So i had a challenge with a js slider and i wanted my coworker to think along. I was trying to explain my problem and the steps taken so far but, as always, he wants to interrupt me after to sentences. He somehow always thinks he knows things better.
Dude let me first explain my shit before you start working on your solution. This is pure disrespect asshole!
Sometimes I find that when I'm stuck on a problem the best thing to do is work on anything except the problem for a bit. 90% of the time a solution will come to me if I just stop focusing on the problem.
*me to myself* okay this time I'm not solving that problem with recursion. The assignment is hard enough already.
*A ton of sweat, blood and hours later* Whoops.
Hey guys, I am implementing some integration tools for Blokchains and planning to make it SaaS ( Software as a Service ). The biggest problem for me is to generate a unique name for that project. Can you help me?3
QA: This email don't pass validation ( $%^&*&^%$@m.c)
Me: Yes, that's right, where is the problem ?
QA: We allow special characters in email field, so it should be valid, fix it.
Me: "Searching some info about top-level domains"
Me: Look, this is why this email is bad.
QA: So this email is valid ?
QA: Why ?
Trying to build a ros workspace inside VMware...
Called up the teammate who put it together:
Me: hey the workspace isn't building for me, do I need to setup anything before I type "make"?
Him: nah dude just type make and ur good, why what error are you getting?
Me: *describes error*
Him: oh lol I never got that error before, idk maybe your machine is just dumb
Me: *uh ok sure dude* let me try some other stuff
*Boots to native install of Ubuntu*
Me: oh huh that's weird it built on my native installation but not on the VM
Him: oh lol that's not my problem
Seriously dude? First off, screw you Ros for not being able to build in a VM. Secondly, it's entirely your problem! Linux is nice to use, sure, but it's a bit of a problem when the entire team runs off Mac!
So we want to propose an algorithm that lets the system choose available subjects for the student to enroll the semester. The problem now is, if they will let me choose what platform... I'd use html/js to have an interactive and reliable system. We are going to use localhost to lessen the budget.. And the saddest part is It's all in my imagination.. I couldnt start working on it as im lazing around doing nothing.2
I am starting to think the biggest problem with my current project isn't the business unit changing their minds all the time. It looks like the biggest problem is me continuously refactoring the code.
Had someone mention adding tasks to stories in our sprint mid-sprint is messing up the sprint statistics... Can someone explain to me how one is supposed to know every task and approximately how long it will take to complete for a given story before even opening the code base up?
This is currently my major gripe with agile / scrum. How exactly you're supposed to instinctively know the solution to a complicated problem, as well as the steps to implement it, the approximate time it'll take, AND roadblocks you'll run into on DAY ONE? WHAT?
Too often does a 2 point story turn into a 5 point story because deep down it was a more complicated problem than originally thought, and a good scrum developer is supposed to... Either clairvoyantly known that or just allocate hours into unrelated tasks?
Someone help me out here
I want to try some Android Development. I already have basic understanding of both C# and Java. C# even a little bit more. But the language is not the problem.
I just can not decide wether I should use Xamarin or do native development using Android Studio.
What would you suggest me, guys? :-)7
Do people not know how to use a search engine? A mate of mine is trying to upgrade to sierra but his having a problem, so he calls me. He describes the problem over the phone, I quickly type into Google the salient points and get presented with some possible remedies. I then tell him over the phone. I'll just let him believe that I know everything shall I?1
Any good advice for managing junior developers?
In my experience I have found that loose definitions of work to be completed yields poor results. Honestly, sometimes I wonder if I have to write the code structure and leave a bunch of TODO comments for people to fill in.
Or alternatively people get going on tangents without thinking of the concrete problem given.
Or go try building generic abstractions that are unneeded and will not be reused complicating even the simplest use case.
Maybe the problem is in me and that I am not clear in communicating what's needed. What techniques do you guys use to get more or less what you want?7
When you ask me to estimate some project that is complex and you don't pay for an initial research process, my response will be full of assumptions.
I've kindly listed those assumptions for you, also sometimes referred to as Caveats.
When you don't read the assumptions and the issues arise outside of reasonable control - that means it's YOUR F'ING PROBLEM
Story about someone elses rant
A = coworker;
B = random guy from company, but from another office;
C = manager we like a lot, cause he has IT background;
A asked B about a problem, because B worked with the that thing. B answered I dont know. So A asked C, and told him, im asking you, because B said, he dont know. C went nuts and pulled a shitstorm on B, like who WTF do you think you are, that you cant give at least a hint to A on the problem or Cc someone who may know more about the problem.
what i wanna say is, shouldnt it be common sence if someone asks me about a problem i navigate him to a person, who knows more than me? Even if its the first day i the office, I know this is my team leader he should see the bigger picture of the problem, so ask him. But telling idk is like, go fuck your self.
it works on my machine. this is quite disappointing and keeps me from trying to solve the problem from home.
i was even psychologically prepared to ask on stackoverflow, but now i'll have to wait until returning back to work...5
Deep learning. Working on an image classification problem for a big company. The "boss" ask me to teach an AI to classify images into a few classes.
"Mmm, ok...I just need to create the dataset and then build the AI...so.."
Where is the problem??
The problem is that the classes are so perfectly similar that no one knows how to help me create the dataset and I have to do it alone.
That's how you spend your weeks in a loop where you look at thousands of images over and over just to have something decent start your work.
After that I felt like...
"I'm the hero they deserves, but not the one they need right now" - Cit2
Can someone explain me how a global discriptor table is implemented in a kernel? My problem is basicly that I want to build a kernel that can run seperate programs in userland. But I don't quite understand how the GDT and LDT should be implemented.1
For me the most frustrating thing about working on someone elses project, is when you try something and it just does not work, you dont even know the code to try think about what the problem might be to begin with. What about you guys ?
I had this great fun idea and i started programming immediatly. Yes! i'm feeling great and this is going to be amazing!
But Oh! then i had this amazing and super fun idea! It's almost the same, although it requires me to make massive changes to the code... Ok, no problem, i can do this. It's my project and it's fun. This is going to be great!
But then... FUCK2
I am working on a task given to me by a huge company to test my skill.
I am applying for a junior position.
I am doing it by myself of course but I googled a bit and the problem is called job shop scheduling or multiprocessor scheduling (not sure which one it actually is).
The topic is a bit altered (logistics) but it stil is the same problem.
I am really close to the solution.
The testcases they provided all work but I came up with some that don't.
Do you think this problem is appropiate for a junior (either of those)?
It’s another rubber duck story. I had trouble working with company’s legacy framework and had the senior developer (who is busy AF and practically lives at his work desk) come over to help me out like 10 times a day and 98% of the times I figured the problem out while explaining it to him. WTF can’t I pay more attention??
Today, or wednesday (can't do anything tomorrow, family is coming over) I'm going to start writing documentation for my project.
Problem: Never wrote documentation before.
I only have the database done (still need to write the migrations and seed, but the structure is done). How do I even write documentation for a bunch of tables? I guess I'll learn that this week.
Wish me luck, I'll need it!!
This feeling when you're fighting with an issue for few days and accidentaly find out the problem is caused by a dependency of the library you're using... And someone reported it already few weeks ago... Just kill me.
The amount of time I spend fixing npm dependency issues is really tilting... How does the JS community consider this solving a problem! This reminds me of Java's package issues if anything...1
It's going to be different for everyone, but for me would be:
- More schedule freedom. I hate being forced to stay here from 9am to 6pm. What if today I want to get here at 11am, and only leave at 8pm? I'm still working the full 8 hours, so what's the problem?
- Actually work with what I want and enjoy doing.
To be honest, that would be all for me. This is all (I think) I need to be happy while working.4
I don’t mind taking over a project when there is a structure and logic. Normally the problem is messy code which I can work around.
It’s a different story though when there’s model stuff in the controller and views or sometimes views calling controller functions or loading other views. I don’t even know, flicking between files, recompiling and not getting the result makes me agitate because I’m unproductive.4
For me, developing phone networks, the Client only interacts with me as the front end. If there is a problem with an upstream provider/carrier, the client doesn't know that and we take the brunt of the complaints.
So, what really sucks is when there is a lack of control.
Exploring different possible solutions for a problem, eventually you or management decide on the way to go, now I should delete the other code I wrote while exploring, but thinking, "ok I may not need it now, but who knows what might come up, let me comment it out until the end of the project when I am certain that it is no longer needed."
My boss always tells me to document everything. The problem is that I don't know where, because she tells me something else every time I ask her.
The best part is that now there are like three word documents and two excel files for one project flying around four different storage-systems.
And I am the idiot who can't document if she is unable to find the files she's looking for. Even I don't know where my files went because she moves them around like she pleases!2
1) For me code is a way of expressing my thoughts akin to rap. It's just that your thoughts has to be precise if you want to write "good" code.
2) Creating anything out of a thin air has certain charm to it.
3) I love problem solving and even if I don't love it, if I've got a certain problem I'll have to solve it anyway and most of the computer related problem can be solved via code.
Today I had a problem with an app for table reservations. It gave me a strange error. A friend of mine is working on that app and I directly called him to resolve the issue. Boss of all bosses.1
I'm a physics student who have problem with the "theory without every application (even theoretical)" approach of my university. I'm at the second year. The year is near to end i will pass at the first year of Informatic Engineering, one of my real True love who took from me a lot of time. I don't know what will happen... But Electronics and Informatics are my True love. I hope it's not too late...2
So my friends started a group where we would discuss programming problems. Since I've solved quite a few they wanted me to help them out. And I sent them a problem from Euler's. Immediately after 2-3 minutes I get a link in the group which is the solution to that problem.
I replied "thanks I didn't know the solutions to popular problems were on Google"
He could've learnt in Google itself then 😑😑😑😑😑😑😑
The problem with working for a school is depending on the district and there policy the sites you need are blocked. The district I'm at today blocks devRant and I'm posting this using mobile data.
LIKE WTF I FUCKING WORK HERE YOU ASSHATS LET ME FUCKING ACCESS THE SITES I NEED/WANT TO VISIT. I WORK FOR THE FUCKING DEPARTMENT THAT KEEPS ALL YOUR SHIT WORKING!2
For solving a problem I document everything. From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep, I want to have written out the problem in full and everything I have tried to get to a solution. I can then share this info with people around me which expedites the process and gives me new ideas I didn't have before. When I really hit a wall the goal for me is keeping myself DRY and knowing what I've tried and haven't tried.1
The easiest way for me to get unstuck when writing a program is usually to talk to someone in the business about my problem. If I can explain what I am doing to someone else it helps me better understand where I might be going wrong. It especially helps if I am speaking to someone who is not technical because I have to explain everything without glazing over the general coding stuff.
I am sure it bores the hell out of them though.1
Here is my problem. The team I'm on has developers from other areas that were "put" into a new team. Two use "structured programming" but the requirements make me think we need "domain driven design". How in the world can I get them to evolve into another mindset while still meeting the deadline?1
Someone said that I should optimize the performance of a website. In fact, the problem was the hardware specs and they still want me to optimize the UI. I have less dependencies, no weird event loops and a JSON that is twice as big because the guys at the backend said they're too lazy to optimize it.
So... It's either they upgrade the specs or blame the guys who made the api response.1
It's about my freaking PC, again...
(If you still don't know what I'm talking about: https://devrant.io/rants/889384/ )
I have not ranted about this until now because I was trying to fix it on my own... but since I'm now desperate to get it fixed, I'll say it here too... please help me, I'll give you cookies or virtual hugs or something ;-;
The problem is... my audio driver doesn't work. I tried to update it (from Realtek's website), but... after installing the new version of the driver, it asks me to restart my PC, I do that, and then... nothing happens, the problem remains.
The audio icon on Windows' application bar says no audio devices are connected, which isn't true as it should notice the PC's native speakers, or my headphones, but it freaking doesn't.
As a musician, this for me is a problem...14
A bug in legacy code (java jsf....).
The dev, architect now, who build the app :
"Yes this is simple, the problem comes from the business logic in the .jsp..."
A bit later
"No, your patch does not suit me, you mix two different concepts"1
Quick question for anyone who's a guru in networks.
The WiFi where I stay keeps on logging me out every ±25-35 minutes. You could browse the internet then suddenly you have to log in again, then it works, and the process repeats itself. Is this normal or is it a huge problem I should bring up?7
Biggest distraction is a cool idea popping in my head, or someone telling me they have a problem that would be easy for me to solve.
I have to resist the urge to jump right in and build a solution.
In that sense, I am my own biggest programming distraction.1
I just had a discussion with a customer a week ago. He tould me that the PDF Files we are having in our application are not showing Up.
Connected to his computer to look at the problem just to find out That Google Chrome is blocking the popup. I tell him the problem and once He allows it to open it wont happen again.
Customer: I dont want That it also happens to my customers and they dont know that either. Just fix it and call me back" I try to explain him That we cant just change thr behaviour of the Browser but He already hung Up.
Well i guess we are going to buy Google the next week to change his Problem xD2
PM: We need to add "Under Contract" banners dynamically to listings on xyz.com
Me: No problem
[ ... a few minutes later ... ]
Me: xyz.com has been updated. Check out the listings and let me know if anything is out of place.
PM: The updates you made look great! How does this scale (in the most basic sense of the word; i.e. in the viewport) on abc.com.
Me: ? òįÓ ? ... that's a completely different site ... why would it affect it if you didn't ask for it.
Me: I found the problem. The function call is being given a reference to an undefined variable as an argument. The quotes around that argument were accidentally omitted; it's supposed to be a string.
A "Senior" Developer: No, that wouldn't cause it break.
Is anybody else bothered by Slack? The way they handle account management and channels bothers me. It solved a problem that didn't exist, and now it has become this ecosystem so many people/organizations are over reliant on.
I feel like AIM had better features in the early 00's.1
So I think I need more goats or I need to get my computer in to a therapist's office. Either way, I have decided that my problem is fixed. In that rather than addressing the root cause I have attached a bandaid that will work as long as the customer has much less time than me.3
So I'm here after a long break coz my life is shit all over again, and only devRant allows me to rant officially.
I was selected by a recruiter visiting our college in very early days of the campus placements, September last year,
I wasn't allowed to sit in any of the other recruitment drives by the college, even when I didn't really like the job profile I was in
The company is taking 12 tests and wants me to work on 3 Projects of bootstrap, rails, and react each, before they give me joining.
Here I am working like an asshole with all frustrations after my college got over to finish the tasks without a penny.
This frustration is only causing more and more delay in my work.
So...about companies having way to big expectations on their job ads descriptions: Me being the new guy in all of this, of course I'm looking for more informations on the field everywhere. One day I came across a video on youtube posted by Eli the Computer Guy, and he was describing (caricaturing) this exact problem. You should look it up.
I'm not sure if he himself is a valuable source/resource of knowledge, but it did help me to understand this problem to some extent.
Hope it helps you too.6
what options do i have left if google merchant licence is not avaible in my country?
anyone facing the same problem as me?3
Got an idea for a game, started learning Godot engine to make it myself. usually the hard part for me is the graphics, but this time I just couldn't get it past the tutorial phase, so I switched to Phaser.js, the same problem there... then Pygame, and Godot again, and so on...
I usually love the coding part, I don't know what was the problem this time, It could be the fact that I switched from 2560x1080(Windows desktop) to 1366x768(Debian laptop)... Got any comments that may help?
Is there anyone out there who knows opennms? I got assigned to "improve" the nms diagnostics page (graphs are drawn and shit) but I can't find any dissent documentation. My task has even been changed to "if you solve the problem, write down a documentation on how you did it"
So yeah... Feeling lost.. Not even a SO thread to help me 😳😖1
My problem now is:
- I want my linkedin profile to be public
- I don't want to be bored every day by spam from recruiters that claim to offer me "A NEW JOB OPPORTUNITY!!!" but don't put any other details about.
I am 100% sure that most of them are searching monkeys for stupid jobs in body rental companies.
At the moment i put a warning on my profile for recruiters to not contact me. I hope this will work.1
VS Exception Display is full badfor me now.
I had a query problem in my code, and the only exception displayed by VS was one that don't help that much.
But there were two exceptions messages to display. Fortunatly the front-page displayed the full stack, else I'd have no clue of what was going on.
Ok guys ... real talk ... I've been stuck on a problem for over a month! The thing is that the problem and implementation is too specific for stack overflow. I've tried everything that I can think of and it's actually keeping me up at night! What do you guys do when you hit a brick wall?9
my parents often call me when there is some problem in any device and i solve it...
sometimes when i cant they say..
What is the benefit of ur Software Engineering...
(((infact that is hardware problem)))
Yo fellow devrant devs!
Are here any PLC devs present?
After 4 years of internal struggle, short side leaps and a big amount of feeling restricted and beeing tired of it, I decided to totally switch from windows to linux. No dual boot (which ended about 20times in "oh, i didnt start linux for 2 weeks.."), no "i can have Linux on VM". Just linux and me, hopefully a neverending love story.
Thats the theory.
Problem 1: is it somehow possible to use Siemens TIA portal with Linux in a proper way?
Problem 2: is there any IDE which is at least nearly as comfortable for c# coding as visual studio?2
Me and my study group have been developing a system for a company the last semester, but the system isn't done at the end of the semester (which is fine) and the company have mentioned that they want to pay us to finish the system.
The problem is that we have a very little knowledge about how much time it is going to take.
So what are we gonna say? It's pretty hard to calculate a price and estimate any time frame2
Today my coisinhas asked me to remove a ad virus from her computer and the bad thing este is that is at programming at fu***** university and it is even worst when she sad that none of her friends could fix the fu***** problem!!! I just did it in 5 min by searchin in the web!!!!4
Worst recruiter experience...
Found out RHT took 40% of what the company was paying me. In combination with the unfair company who ended up hiring me, the problem is...you start low and you stay low, hard to move your wage up! 🙄😌😥
I have no problem reading constructive criticism of systemd. It has its problems. However, sometimes those critics try to claim that init run levels, or rc scripts, with their arbitrary meaning and the Bourne shell's ad hoc syntax, are a perfectly acceptable solution to the problem that don't need replacing.
I've never seen an OS startup mechanism that tells me, while the system is up, "the change you just made will make it impossible to bring the OS up if you restart it". And that's a real problem.1
Okay, i have a question.
I am a real Noob when it comes to Java programming. I am trying to establish a database connection between my program and a sqlite database. I have everything ready:
- The Model
- The View
Now the problem i am having is defining the DBController that establishes the connection. And i have no idea how to start?!
Please help me :(
Working from 7:00 to 15:00,after work don't have that much time to workout, so I try ti weighted push-ups every minute or so from 2pm till 3..biggest problem is when the code embraces me and I forget that I should work out a bit.. And yes, I work from home2
Android class later :) the problem is i only have 4 gig of ram for my computer, anyone willing to donate? Poor country, poor computer science student, poor me. But still goin,no excuses!!! ;D4
So my coworker asked for help with his work. I understand that sometimes talking about the problem with someone else will help solve the problem, but seriously, don't ask me "How do I fix this?". If you wanted me to help you fix something, go to lunch and let me work on it for a couple of hours. I can't fix something by telling you what to do. I need time to look into the problem myself, do research, and run tests on my own. Telling to do that over your shoulder is a complete waste of our time.
Also, his attitude of complete helplessness is tiring. It's hard to help someone who continually reminds you of how much he just wants to give up.2
Management wants me to write e2e tests instead of unit tests. The problem is there are e2e but not a single unit test... I plan on refusing.
Hi, me and my friend want to start programming our first cross platform application. It is called RankIt and is a kind of social media app. Now the problem is, that we both only really know one programming language (me html and him swift); and those two languages don't really help our cause... :)
So we're looking for someone who could help us a bit, and give us tipps...
Am I the only who's having trouble with the devRant app. Before anyone says to me to send an email about the bugs I've been having, I already did.
I don't know why but sense the last update I'm just finding bug after bug. Is anyone having problem with the app or is it just me?4
I don't know if it's the lack of knowledge or just always being distracted, I try to debug and after wasting half an hour I realize the problem is that I forgot to call the function. Every time! What's wrong with me?
Hi fellows! I really need your help, please...
I want to make a new project. I will use ASP.NET CORE for Back-end (this is not the problem)
The problem is the choice between Blazor and Angular. I heard about Angular as one of the best SPA framework but since I'm going to become a C# fullstack developer I really care of Blazor.
I took 1 full week to check differences, pros and cons but I stay in doubts.
Help me to decide...15
Twitter api restricts me to fetch only 3202 tweets and if I had to fetch the retweeters count is limited to 100 .. is there any open source which will help me get through this problem because the data being collected is not sufficient for analysis
So, I did the silly and tried Freelancer.com. The chat is really fucking buggy, my client has paid me but I can't see the payment in my account, and their live chat system has a timestamping problem that means you can't actually ask for help. What do I do? The money in there was ideally supposed to pay my bills this month...2
Hello , I am Student 1st year , studing Programming.
My dream is to be the most famous programmer in the world.I am hard worker.
I am learning C#.
The problem is that I cant find to much space to work with other here in my city , and learning my self it doesnt make sense to me.
What would you suggest to me ?4
So I'm a beginner Android Developer and I am planning to pursue some side projects to improve my skills. But the problem is Since my design skills are very poor , all of my applications look super ugly. I want them to look a little better so they are presentable. Can anybody guide me in which direction should I head ?2
One way I socialize is with walks during work.
Luckily at work we are able to take a good 2-3 15 minute walks a day.
Really helps with the roadblocks and allows me to talk about movies/games/whatever.
Problem is it’s been so hot... so now we always aim for the shade.
Stark Industries is very huge, innovative and owned by The Ironman.
But there are no man who tell him that let me Restart the system and problem will be fixed.
Gonna start a tech blog next month. My problem is that I can't think of an interesting subject that can get me followers in the middle of this huge number of tech blogs. Any ideas would be very very appreciated. Thank you