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This is fucking annoying with some clients.
Client calls:
Me: Hello, how can I help you?
Client: *explains problem*
Me: *tells possible solution*
Client: you sound young, could you connect me to a more senior person?
Me: Sure.
Collegue: Hello, how can I help you?
Client: *explains problem again*
Collegue: *gives same solution as me*
Client: Oh uhm but that's the same solution the boy I had on the phone before you told me.
Collegue: Yeah......?
Client: well he sounded so young...
Collegue: Being young does not equal being inexperienced/less knowing about something.39 -
Fixing a parents iPhone, episode 1.
Problem: "Whatsapp is gone off my phone"
Debugging:
Me: *unlocks phone and sees whatsapp*, it's right here.
Mam: no, I no that I can't see my messages.
Me: ok, that is definitely not what "whatsapp is gone off my phone means".
*opens whatsapp*
*inside add contact screen*
App seems ok, your trying to add a contact?
Mam: that's a problem, whenever I open it I only see that page.
Me: *taps cancel button with shocked face*
Mam: omg there's my messages, how did you do that?
Me: ... ... ... I tapped the very easy to see, large cancel button in the top right hand corner.
Mam: but why was it opened there?
Me: *looks at opened message from unknown number*
If I was to hazard a guess, now stay with me on this one as it's a bit complex. I think ... I THINK ... you clicked the "add to contacts" button on the screen in front of you.
I am suspicious of one thing though.
Mam: what's that?
Me: how you managed to click the add contacts button, and when brought to the add contacts screen, you assume the app is broken.
Mam: oh will you **** off you sarcastic little ****. Thank you very much.
Me: no prob, 4 year computer science course put to great use.20 -
A rare bug appeared. It was my duty to finish it.
SH = Manager
SH: So when do you think you can finish the task?
Me: I still have to analyze the problem. Give me a moment and I'll get back to you.
SH: Alright.
*An hour later*
SH: *Approaches my desk* Have you found the source of the problem?
Me: Not yet. Please give me some more time.
SH: Ok.
*An hour later*
SH: *the approach* You found it yet?
Me: Yes, I've found the the source of the problem, But... *explains the problem and thus concluding that it's a complicated bug*
SH: Can you finish it by tomorrow?
Me: I'll do the best I can but I am not entirely sure if I can finish it by tomorrow.
SH: OK great!
*The next day*
SH: *Le approach* Hey I have a colleague here that may be able to solve the problem, he has skills with XYZ. Ok, I will leave you two at it then. *the leave*
Helper: So can you tell me about the issue here?
Me: *explains the bug and the source of the problem*
Helper: Have you tried solution A?
Me: Yes sir, but it yields a different output... *explains what happened with solution A*
Helper: Well, that won't work. What about solution B?
Me: I've tried that, too. *Another lengthy explanation*
Helper: Welp, ok. I'll get back to you on that.
(...But he never came.)
*A few hours later*
SH: *A.P.P.R.O.A.C.H.* Hey I have this team lead from another department. I think he can help you out on this one. *L.E.A.V.E.*
Helper 2: What seems to be the problem?
Me: *Explains again with all the solutions I tried but failed*
Helper 2: Wow. That really seems to be a complicated problem.
~~
Me (In my head): -_-
~~
Helper 2: Listen, I need to get back to my team. I'll keep you posted if I happen to find a solution for your problem alright?
Me: Alright thanks.
*Towards the end of the day*
SH: *APPROACHHHH* Have you resolved the bug yet?
~~
Me (In my head): You made me spend half the FUCKING day explaining to these people who didn't even give a piece of FUCKING SHIT to contribute to the problem and you are asking me if I am done with this FUCKING BUG? FUCK YOU, YOU SON OF A -
~~
Me: No, it is not finished yet..
SH: You have to finish this because we don't have tomorrow.
~~
Me (In my head): SHDIFHWISGSIFGSISBAUDBEIQBDIWGFIEBWIDHWIQBDOSBCISBDOSHDIAGSUSVDIFBDKDJWIQKDBDIDGSUWVDIABDIXBSIDBDIDBWUWGUSVDUWVDJQBDUDVWISHDUWVFG
~~
I went home for the day.21 -
During a random school project.
Me: *Explains why team members idea is bad*
Team member: *Im going to do it like this anyways.*
Me: *add explaination of why idea is bad to git commit log.*
1 week later: some parts of the project dont work like they are suppost to.
Team member: *dude can you help me bla bla....(encounters issue i mentioned regarding his idea)*
Me: *no, i've already got too much on my plate. please, sort it out yourself....*
At the presentation
Teacher: *ask question about problem*
Team member: *tries to blame the problem on me....*
Me: *shows git commit log to teacher*
Me: *passing grade*
Team member: *failing grade*
Justice served.27 -
Church proyect...
Client: we want our logo in our new website
Me: ok no problem just give me the....
Client: but we dont want ppl to be able to download it.
Me: excuse me but that is not posible cuz...
Client: where is your faith! Nothing is imposible.
Me: proceed to stare in disbelief....26 -
Me: *uses HashMap* for a problem to count some elements*
Lecturer: why are you using HashMap?
Me: it's the best way of solving the problem
Lecturer: I haven't explicitly taught you what a HashMap is so why are you using it?
Me: Because I learn outside of what university teaches me
Lecturer: there's another way to do this
Me: enlighten me
Lecturer: iterate through the array using a nested for loop and count as you go along
Me: why the hell would I want to do that? That literally decreases the efficiency of my program by alot
GG lecturer telling me it's a better idea of making my O(n) runtime into an O(n^2) instead of complimenting my code.
Seriously what the fuck is up with the fucking education system. Since when was it okay to teach students how to completely fuck your code up and promote ways of making your code so inefficient?33 -
GF: I swear, you're spending more time staring at the screen than actually typing anything.
ME: Because literally 80% of coding is staring at the screen thinking about how to code something. My mind is an endless void of possible approaches to a problem.4 -
*Manager enters the room quickly*
Manager: Coffe2Code, we have a serious problem on the application, (We are working on a chat app).
Me: What? now just few hours before the Demo?, what is it?
Manager: when I send or receive a media message (audio or video) the sound is not playing, the file seems like corrupted !
Me: that's strange, let me debug it and see.
*Me spending an hour and could not even reproduce the bug..*
Me: Boss, I cannot see the bug, can I debug on your device quickly?
Manager: Sure, here it is.
Me: hold the fucking device, press VOLUME UP, IT WAS FUCKING MUTE. THERE WAS NO ISSUE MOTHERFUCKER.
Manager, oups ok good no issue then, thanks16 -
He: Hey could you please help me with my code?
Me: mhmm ok..
He: I've made this and this and this and this...aaand this and this and... Oh that is the problem. Thx for your help bro.
I'm proud to be a rubber duck.7 -
Friend : This is our logo for the site you are building for us.
Me: Wtf!! This is just a picture with text on it, do you have copyright of this picture?
Friend : who cares, we found it on google and we liked it.
Me: It may create trouble later
Friend: nothing...Just us it, we don’t have $150 for logo design
Me:🧐
After few weeks
Friend: Hey best, we have problem with logo, there is this guy who keep emailing us about copyright, any advice
Me: you know the solution the $1501 -
Just had a feedback session.
Apparently one of my colleague has a problem with me.
The irony is - I didn't even knew the guy's fucking name until now.
Relatable right?11 -
I just spent 20m debugging.
Basically bootstrap nav wasn't working. Couldn't understand why not.
Figured out its a an issue with the JS interfering so I remove the script reference from my HTML. Problem solved.
Okay,cool. Now let's add that file back in and figure out what caused the issue.
Hm. This line looks like it might be it *comments it out*...odd. Problem still happens.
*proceed to comment out and test every function to see what could be causing this issue*. Still happens. Fuck it. *comments the entire file out*
what the fucking fuck. I remove the script reference the problem is gone. I remove all code from the script - problem persists.
...wait...are you fucking kidding me. I OPENED THE WRONG JS FILE WITH THE SAME NAME BUT IN A DIFFERNT DIRECTORY.6 -
PM: Bro send me latest version of the app
Me: But I"m not finished with x feature and it will crash the app in its current situation
PM: No problem bro just want to test
*5 minutes later*
PM: Bro app is crashing when I do x
Inner Me: YOU PEACE OF SHIT I TOLD YOU IT WILL CRASH!
Actual Me: throw a ticket I'll handle it later.11 -
*CTO in panic, as always, invites everyone to the war room*
CTO: We have a MAJOR problem where 0.0001% of our customers are not receiving SMS confirmations.
Me: Cool. But, 0.0001% is very less compared to the other problems we are solving.
CTO: You don't understand, this is critical issue that needs to be addressed immediately.
Me: But even those.0.0001% customers are receiving e-mail confirmations, so this is not even blocker as we have other channels working.
CTO: I am emotional at this point. You need to prioritise this now.
Me: Okay, do we know the root cause of this problem?
Engineering head: we have blacklisted those numbers in past as our system detected them abusing our platform.
Me: Cool. Let's whitelist them, nothing much to worry here.
CTO: Floyd, you need to understand that 0.0001% of the customers are not receiving the SMS and the solution you are proposing is incorrect.
Me: Okay, what do you suggest?
CTO: We stop sending the SMS to all the customers.
Everyone on the call: 😨18 -
One of our clients deploy their own server app. So this happened after a prod deployment. (4am)
*Cellphone rings while sleeping*
Client : we need you on the conference call now. URGENT!
*Gets on conference call*
*Client explain the problem*
*Explaining to the client that the problem is in their side (https connection not working, either network or certificate problem)*
*Client doesn't believe it and pushes me for a fix that I have no control on*
*4 hours later in a heated conversation*
Client : ok problem is on our side. We used our SSL certificate from staging with production and thought it would work.
Me :
5 -
Day 1:
I installed an alarm app that doesn't turn off until you solve some math problem.
Next morning:
* alarm turns on
* solve the math problem
* get back to sleep
Conclusion:
most dangerous thing in the morning is the " let me close my eyes for one second"9 -
Interviewer: How will you solve the travelling salesman problem?
Me: *explains the solution on whiteboard*
Interviewer: It is slow. Can you do it in linear time at least?
Me: It is NP hard so it is not possible. For a restricted case, it may be possible
Interviewer: You are stupid. Do not apply again.9 -
The new IT lady of my previous company told me this:
"Hi, the Internet is not working"
"ok, did you make any recent changes to the router?"
"I didn't touch the router. I removed the switch in between so the internet should still work"
"You removed the switch"
"yeah but I didn't touch the router so what's the problem blah blah blah"
🙄7 -
Me: Why is there such a delay between the app and the hardware device?
Colleague: Ah, same old same old, TCP is just an inefficient protocol. We should stop development and build our own replacement to TCP.
(PS. The actual problem was his code)9 -
I have had this conversation well too often:
- (him/her) Do you mind helping me with this problem I have on my computer ?
- (me) Sure, what is it ?
- (him/her) *proceeds to explaining the problem*
- (me) Ok, I don't know about this particular thing, you should try googling it.
- (the pissed off version of him/her) Never mind, I'll find someone who's willing to help me.
Please stop taking that as me not caring about your problem.
Googling things is basically what I do all day as a developer.
You really should try it. That thing is actually pretty useful.5 -
Customer calls since they got problem x
C: Hey its xyz we got a problem
Me: hey what's it About?
C: <explains problem pretty poorly>
Me: uuuuuh.. I've written it down and look to fix it as soon as possible
C: why? Just TURN OFF the problem
No. This is not how it works. This is not how any of this works.5 -
When i said that i use Linux, 3/4 of the class stared at me like i have a mental problem.
Then i said that i use duckduckgo and they stared at me like i was really retarded.
The sad part is that i'm in computer science department and my colleagues have not any clue about anything else than microsoft/google.11 -
Annual performance peer review
Person who did review me wrote in the section “skills needed to improve”:
“He is introverted...”
Bloody hell!! What a big problem :) and how in earth you can “fix” it? And why everyone expected to be extraverted??10 -
Coworker asking for my help on a crm framework I have never seen before. She was banging her head on the monitor by 1 hour. I read the stacktrace of the error (Java), and 30 seconds later I solved her problem.
Guess who is going laid tonight?
Not me, because she's engaged.6 -
My boss asked me to do tech support today as one of tech support employee was not feeling well.
The very first call i attended, went like:
Me : Sir, this is xyz support desk. How may i help you?
*Listening his problem*
Me : Sir solution is pretty simple. Just do a Right click on application shortcut icon and then select "Open File Location".
Client : where can i find "Right Click"?2 -
So lately I’ve been sending an http request with ajax instead of using classic form submit. Pdf and images need to be converted into byte64 string then send it to the backend, problem is if the size gets too big chrome crashes and showed me ‘Aw snap’, but it works on firefox. Thr file is size could be 3 to 100 mb (for pdf). So my question; is this my problem or just browser limitation?17
-
The problem with me programming lately :
Mom: foooood is ready...
Me: Will be there in a minute. (deep inside I know that's a lie).
5 minutes later...⏰
Mom: food is getting cold!
Me: Yes I'm coming, testing one last thing...I swear !
30 min later I'll join the table...The guilt 😩 I'm sorry mommy 🙏
Anybody else with the same problem? 😅9 -
A few weeks ago a client called me. His application contains a lot of data, including email addresses (local part and domain stored separately in SQL database). The application can filter data based on the domain part of the addresses. He ask me why sub.example.com is not included when he asked the application for example.com. I said: No problem, I can add this feature to the application, but the process will take a longer.
Client: No problem, please add this ASAP.
So, the next day I changed some of the SQL queries to lookup using the LIKE operator.
After a week the client called again: The process is really slow, how can this be?
Me: Well, you asked me to filter the subdomains as well. Before, the application could easily find all the domains (SQL index), but now it has to compare all the domains to check if it ends with the domain you are looking for.
Client: Okay, but why is it a lot slower than before?
Me: Do you have a dictionary in your office?
<Client search for a dictionary, came back with one>
Me: give me the definition of the word "time"
<Client gives definition of time>
Me: Give me the definition of all words ending with "time"
Client: But, ...
Never heard from him again on this issues :-P5 -
So the Marketing department want me single handed recreate an app exactly like Alipay in 2 days? WTF? I told him that this is impossible ... he told me to "Use Template." He said he can even use wordpress to do it .
The problem is they need android app and ios , (nnon-webview)41 -
So the CSS code I'm working on has a terrible vertical alignment problem on every browser except IE11. Using `display: flex` =_=
I'm not joking this alignment glitch is driving me nuts! Deadline tomorrow.
15 -
I realized it that the only time I talk confidently with a girl is when I am solving some technical problem or helping her understand some computer theory.
Pre and Post - this phase, I can hardly find any topic to talk and later they are also done talking to me.
Should I consider to search on how to talk to girls??
Google already suggests that even in incognito mode.
Is there someone else with me in the same boat?
34 -
My friend brought me a simple python problem. He expected the output to be 2,2,3... instead of 2,3... I didn't know python, but with a quick tweak to differentiate the two prints, I understood that the range() function is exclusive.
Before coming to me, he asked his senior dev & that guy just said - "Oh, your editor has a problem". 😐
5 -
This just makes me mad every time.
I have a friend who asks for help in coding and just reads and copies my whole code, doesn't even understand what's going on and just copies the whole damn thing (the variable names too). Also, says I don't know how to do it properly because I indent the code and he wants it all in a single line.
If there is any error in the code, just tells me that there is a problem and does nothing and keeps nagging me if I solved the problem every 2 minutes.
Once I solve the problem, just copies the stuff again and then brags to others about the code and takes all the credit.
After bragging, if someone asks him for help he just tried to match the code line by line and worry by word. And tells them their code is wrong if they are using a different method of solving the problem and asks them to do it like him.
Being an introvert, I don't go shoving my stuff in others faces and criticising their code.
But the professor knows I am good, so that works for me. :)17 -
Real life job interview…
Manager: what about this problem? Could you solve it? (Showing me a problem about scanning a 2d array to find a value written on a piece of paper)
Me: sure! Just give me a piece of paper and I will write a solution.
Manager: no need for that. I don’t have the knowledge to check that anyway… if I wanted you to solve it I would have called one of my programmers.
…
Manager: do you have any question about the company?
Me: What do you exactly do in the company? I wonder what is the purpose of a person that makes questions about things he doesn’t know.3 -
Sometimes the design decisions of big companies amazes me.
I wanted to contact support of Cloudflare. The only way to submit a new support query is by logging into the account first.
My problem is that I can not log into my account. What a bunch of retards.4 -
Unaware that this had been occurring for while, DBA manager walks into our cube area:
DBAMgr-Scott: "DBA-Kelly told me you still having problems connecting to the new staging servers?"
Dev-Carl: "Yea, still getting access denied. Same problem we've been having for a couple of weeks"
DBAMgr-Scott: "Damn it, I hate you. I got to have Kelly working with data warehouse project. I guess I've got to start working on fixing this problem."
Dev-Carl: "Ha ha..sorry. I've checked everything. Its definitely something on the sql server side."
DBAMgr-Scott: "I guess my day is shot. I've got to talk to the network admin, when I get back, lets put our heads together and figure this out."
<Scott leaves>
Me: "A permissions issue on staging? All my stuff is working fine and been working fine for a long while."
Dev-Carl: "Yea, there is nothing different about any of the other environments."
Me: "That doesn't sound right. What's the error?"
Dev-Carl: "Permissions"
Me: "No, the actual exception, never mind, I'll look it up in Splunk."
<in about 30 seconds, I find the actual exception, Win32Exception: Access is denied in OpenSqlFileStream, a little google-fu and .. >
Me: "Is the service using Windows authentication or SQL authentication?"
Dev-Carl: "SQL authentication."
Me: "Switch it to windows authentication"
<Dev-Carl changes authentication...service works like a charm>
Dev-Carl: "OMG, it worked! We've been working on this problem for almost two weeks and it only took you 30 seconds."
Me: "Now that it works, and the service had been working, what changed?"
Dev-Carl: "Oh..look at that, Dev-Jake changed the connection string two weeks ago. Weird. Thanks for your help."
<My brain is screaming "YOU NEVER THOUGHT TO LOOK FOR WHAT CHANGED!!!"
Me: "I'm happy I could help."4 -
Jr: I'm having a problem with my environment, can you help me?
Me: Sure! Did you switch to the latest Ubuntu LTS
so that your environment matches the rest of the dev team like you were asked to do the last 3 times?
Jr: No, I like Windows better because linux is too complicated. Can you just figure out how my environment is suppose to work and than fix what I did wrong please?
Me: No. Let me know if you ever need help with the our standard dev environment. Good luck!24 -
do you ever get that feeling when you suddenly wake up from sleep and immediately have the solution that has been bothering you for weeks or is it just me?
it happened to me today. woke up and magically had a solution to a problem I had with unity (it works now).6 -
Finally solved the mystery, why / and * are together on my keyboard so that there is no problem for me to use single line comment and multi-line comment.
7 -
Me: ya hi, we integrated with your API and I'm receiving error x
Provider: ok we'll disable validation, plz check
Me: ya it works, what's the problem? I used a GUID for id and I'm sure it's unique, here is URL and request body
Provider: you have something wrong in your implementation. Fix it and it will work
Me: aaand what's the wrong part of my implementation?
Provider: id is not unique, fix it. *Hangs up*
I sometimes sit and wonder, how and why does this kind of people get hired, FOR FUCK SAKE YOU ARE THE PROVIDER AND YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG!
fucking useless ...7 -
This week i have been trying out the programming subject.
So we should program a mathematical function which would figure out pi from a circle.
The teacher had chosen javascript and wanted to show us some javascript he had written.
When he tried to run it, it didn't run
Teacher: Hmm, it doesn't work. Let me try to take a look in the code.
Me: (Rip)
Teacher: The problem with javascript is that it is really bad at helping with finding the error, it doesn't tell anything about them.
Me: (WTFFFF)
Teacher: Oh, it's because i haven't accepted the browser to use javascript on the page
Me: (Slowly realising he is using internet explorer.)
God damnit. Amazing, just amazing.1 -
"There is a problem with A, could you check it out? It's urgent for the client"
Me: Okay, just open a ticket for it too.
*Working on A"
After about ten minutes:
"Hey, there is a small problem B and it's also urgent for the client, we need you to check it out"
Me: I'm working on A and you are yet to open a tick... (Interrupted)
"But it's urgent and it's a small fix, we can fix it and push it to prod, A can wait for a bit"
(Since when is it a "we"?)
Me: *sigh* fine, lets see what's B is all about...
*After going over problems C to Z*
"Why isn't A ready yet? The client's mad and it was to be ready as of today"
Me: Because you had problems from B to Z and they were all urgent according to you so after each request you asked of me I had to postpone A with you knowing about it.
"But A is for today!"
FUCK YOU, YOU WORTHLESS WASTE OF JIZZ! YOU RAN TO ME FOR EVERY GOD DAMN URGENT PROBLEM YOU HAD FROM OUR SHIT OF A CLIENT AND INSTEAD OF TELLING ME THE PRIORITY YOU JUST THROWN IT ALL IN A RANDOM ORDER!
FUCK YOU! I WISH YOUR FATHER WOULD'VE SHOT YOU OUT THE WINDOW INSTEAD OF INSIDE YOUR MOTHERS CUNT!5 -
New job today, here is my start so far:
coworker: Hi, first you have to set up your lamp project..
me: Good, let's do it.. Please give me the repo git URL
coworker: here is everything, but.... the database is on MySQL.
me: ok, did you have any TeamSQL or something to track this?
coworker: nop.
me: check the database and see the whole file size is 4GB.... Checking the file on plain .txt i see the problem WORDPRESS.
So far to import this file on my LAMP i use Bigdump script and works like a charm.
coworker: Take it easy dude, it's your first day. You can do this task in a few days, don't rush it.
me: :/7 -
I'm gonna have a serious talk with my bosses the day after tomorrow. We have so much to do, we are basically at 150% workload. Problem is: they don't pay us for overtime.
This has been going on for 18 years in the company. It will not be easy. But they either start paying our overtime or I am out (and probably taking the whole dev team with me.)
Wish me luck!20 -
I am searching Google for a strange error message I have in my program. Find one stack overflow thread from a couple of years ago with one answer approved by the OP and upvoted a remarkable amount of times.. I am reading the question and it is exactly my problem...to the point. So I am reading the answer and it works and solves my problem and I am happy. Let's see who is the OP of the thread .... Um, what? No?! It's me?!?! And who posted the answer to the question? What??? Also me?!?! Guess I had this problem years ago, figured out a solution and posted the answer.
This brings me to some things:
1 - I am a better person than I imagined i would be because I never thought I would document my findings publicly
2 - I am the biggest idiot for not recognizing my own post
3 - Dafuq, why did I stumble over the very same problem twice??
4 - on the other hand it is totally cool to see stuff I did and think "wow, I managed to do this??"2 -
Inner Me: Where the fuck is this bug coming from
> Set a breakpoint in every single place where the method I'm using is being called.
> Try calling the method before every function call
Inner Me: FUCKING DAMNIT! It's been hours now
Inner Me: No way it's the library I'm using.
Inner Me: That couldn't possibly be the problem
> Try running it again and delete some more shit
Inner Me: FUCK MEEEEEEEE
> Getting delirious
> Begin to look at some stupid memes.
> Come back to it.
> Have an Ah-ha moment
> Try running it again but rearrange the order of the method calls
> Still no luck
> try git stashing a bunch of my changes
> git stash apply them back
> erase the method call entirely
Inner Me: well that sort of worked, but now all my numbers are incomplete
Inner Me: FUCKING FINE!!! I'LL LOOK IN THE GODDAMN LIBRARY
Inner Me: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK a stupid integer casting was occuring to my floats!!!
Now Talking to my girlfriend.
Me: The problem was in the library I was using
Girlfriend: How are you going to fix it if it's in the library?
Me: ... I can, because I wrote the library...
Me: FUCK ME RIGHT?
Me: I guess moral of the story; sometimes the problems starts with ourselves
GF: Hahaha. Thats Deeep2 -
Boss: "is it done yet?"
Me: "I've been telling everyone we have a problem and I need all hands on deck. I've already analyzed the issue and explained it to you and the options but YOU PEOPLE NEED TO DECIDE or I decide and probably break things along the way..."
Why does everyone ignore me when I need help but are ok asking me when they need help?
/(ò.ó)┛彡┻━┻4 -
thought I'd check why I'm getting connection timeout on my app
I think the problem is me and not the code
3 -
It's 2017.
Why is vertically centering a div still so stinkin hard?
Yeah yeah ik what you will tell me, "use flexbox".
Well guess what,. I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FOR THE PAST 6 FUCKING HOURS!
I've gone as far as to copy code from 20+ different websites advertising working solutions. My tab bar looks like the fucking rockey mountains!
My main problem is that flexbox on chrome is not accepting ANY % values.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go kill myself. YAY! 🤗29 -
Is it just me that is addicted to the feeling when you solved a big problem with the code and everything just works afterwards? Its such a nice feeling!!3
-
Everytime I hear "there's a problem" in my office I cringe so bad I have the impression I'm making holes in my teeth.
I hate this "janitor" / "plumber" role I have here, so insulting in terms of brain power.
** randomly codes something **
** colleague breaks silence **
C: Phlisg? There's a problem.
Me: what now?
C: Well when I enter a title that is 500+ characters for my blog post, it breaks the layout.
Me: obviously the title is too long. Shorten it.
C: I can't because [reasons] (unfortunately true reasons)
Me: ** deep sigh ** yeah, will look at it... ** proceeds to hide anything longer than 10 characters **
C: perfect!
--- 3 days later
C: Phlisg? there's a problem.
Me: mh?
C: the text is too short, can you make it longer
Me: ** FFS ** guys, you should've asked for a "Word-type" website if you just wanted to do any kind of layout. No, can't, sorry. Choose either between broken layout or shortening your damn text.
-- 1hr later, pm comes in
PM: Text is too short
Me: Yep. Any longer will break everything visually
PM: can't you fix this?
Me: Yes I can, but it'll be a whole CSS revamp because it was not MEANT that texts should be so long.
PM: How many hours?
Me: ** overestimating ** 10 hours (2.2 days of work)
PM: nah, okay, just add it as a side project
** me, inside : WOW, WHAT A FUN PROJECT OMG **10 -
!rant
Me: sudo apt-get update
PC: Noope. There is a problem with a package.
Me: Ugh... ok I'll fix it. *20 minutes later* Fixed. Sudo apt-get update
PC: Noope, the package cache file is corrupted.
Me: GO FUCK YOURSELF LINUX OMFG.
Oh, I fixed it.
I LOVE YOU LINUX.11 -
Sales: "There is a problem in complicated feature A, in a client system!
Dev: "What is the problem"
Sales: "I don't know exactly"
Dev: "which client system? What version is installed?"
Sales: crickets.
Dev: "Do you a Jira ticket, or an email with more details?"
Sales: "It is urgent that we fix the problem ASAP!"
Dev: "what problem"
Sales: "The problem! I talked to the VP RnD, So he can make sure you are on it!"
Dev: "What exactly do you me to fix"
Sales: "The Problem!"8 -
Boss: You have one month to finish the program.
Me: It will be complicated but lets see how it goes.
To be cleared the end date is 2 of July.
Boss on the last friday: You have to finish on the 20th of June
Me: Yeah sure....
Boss yesterday: You have to finish on the 15th of June.
Me: You said one month.
Boss today: you have to finish by the end of this week
Me: No problem Boss you will have it tomorrow!!!
Boss: You have to. There are more projects waiting...
Me: -.-
This is what I have to deal with. But hey... don't forget... tomorrow is a new day so ... fuck it.5 -
Customer: We don't know what we want, but we want it yesterday.
Sales: No problem.
Me: WTF?
I'm not even mad or stressed anymore. You didn't ask me before, so why should I bend and break, so that you don't have to deal with staving the customer. Most of the time, he changes his requirements or is the bottleneck himself, anyway.2 -
Boss: I have a demo NOW, but there os an error message on that page.
Me: okay, give me sometime to elaborate the problem..
Boss: No No please, this is urgent
Me: Okay..
My code:
5 -
Person: So what do you do?
Me: I'm a programmer
Person: So you're good with computers? You know mines been having this problem...
Me: *Kicking them in the shin and running is always an option*2 -
Me reading a forum after long hours of debugging and research...
YES THIS IS IT THIS IS MY FUCKING ISSUE!
* Me reading some answers I have tried already *
COME ON GIVE ME THE ANSWER
* Me reading the last answer *
"I was able to resolve the issue thanks for all the answers...
bye"
OP marked problem as solved
FOR FUCKS SAKE GIVE ME THE SOLUTION OF FUCK OFF6 -
User: Your web app hasn't been working all day.
Me: Uh ok...this is the first I heard of it. Whats the problem? Are you getting an error message with any details? Can you send a screenshot so I can look into it?
User: Yeah it was an error message.
...
🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃6 -
I have been working 9 months as consultant for a company thru a vendor. The contract will finish in two weeks, the company want to continue working with me, I can't be hired directly, should be thru a vendor. The problem is that today I confirmed that this vendor bill the company the double and want me to sign again with them for the same rate, I can't switch to another vendor because there is a non-compete clause. What would you do in my case? I feel like that squirrel
12 -
When i'm stuck on a problem for hours, as soon as someone asks me what the problem is the solution hits me like a brick wall mid explanation.6
-
Google a problem
Click on first link that details the exact problem I'm looking for. This guy has exactly the same problem as me.
First answer is "Oh my god just google it". There are no other answers.
Go back to google. The entire first page is jackwagons just telling people to google it.
God damn it, I am googling it.5 -
Test server not working as expected - check with test team.
Test team experiencing the same problem - report to dev.
Dev team says the issue is not on their side - check with the service owners.
Service owner says it might be a problem with the request and gives me another point of contact - send an email with all the info.
POC says it doesn't have anything to do with him and copies "the right person".
Next person says to ask a different team.
Get reprimanded for asking too many teams.
Jeez idk, maybe if you stopped passing on the blame like a hot potato and actually helped me out I wouldn't need to.5 -
I don't know if it's the new generation of programmers or what but it irritates me how people recommend JavaScript/Node for solving almost any type of problem these days. JavaScript is nice, but come on...12
-
Me: "Of course it's technically possible. The problem here is that this would make the UX very confusing"
Project Manager: "So, when will it be done?"2 -
College: „man, the project works in chrome but doesn’t in IE“
Me: „so, what is your problem ? The app works as designed“6 -
Me, two weeks ago, adding yet another function onto an increasingly complex webservice: "hey uh this is getting pretty confusing, why don't we structure the request this other way so at least it makes more sense."
Manager: "just leave it as is, let the other team worry about how confusing it is. It's their problem now, I want you to move on to a new assignment."
Now- the other team is confused by the webservice and does the requests wrong, resulting in failures. Does it become my problem again when they report that my webservice isn't working?
Yes, it does.3 -
I call this one the tester than knew too much.
Note: The server the tester is running on has a hard drive that is breaking down...
Tester: Remember the error I talked to you about yesterday?
Me: Yeah, what about it?
Tester: Well the server hasn't recovered yet and I haven't restarted anything...
Me: Well the application itself hasn't crashed so our monitoring application doesn't seem to notice that the service is in a bad state. The error seems only to have brought down certain threads within the application.
Tester: No, I think there is a different issue here and has nothing to do with that error, the application is still doing things.
*tails the log*
Tester: See?
Me: As I said some things are still running and are unaffected by the error.
Tester: NO! It has to be caused by the other error I had a week ago where my file got corrupted. As we said I removed the file, restarted it and it worked again, but had the same problem a day later...
Note: The problem is not related, this time the application is running out of file descriptors
Me: Well... If the problem is the same it would have complained about the file descriptors then aswell, not an I/O error.
Tester: Nope, I think you are wrong!
Me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
FML
3 -
With all the master being renamed to main & other similar renaming crap happening because people are offended.. how is it that noone has a problem with wash your colors & whites separately?! O.o // random thought when doing the loads the other day..
Or is this also a thing people are complaining about and just hasn't found a way to me yet.. ?!? 🤔3 -
My cs degree helped me learn how to learn. No it didn't teach me the technologies I use today, but I now know that I learn best through struggle and that is invaluable. Struggle feels a lot like frustration so it can be confusing in the moment, but knowing that it's the feeling where I learn the best keeps me at the problem with a positive attitude.
Also I made a lot of great friends.1 -
This was some time ago. A Legendary bug appeared. It worked in the dev environment, but not in the test and production environment.
It had been a week since I was working on the issue. I couldn't pinpoint the problem. We CANNOT change the code that was already there, so we needed to override the code that was written. As I was going at it, something happened.
---
Manager: "Hey, it's working now. What did you do?"
Me: *Very confused because I know I was nowhere close to finding the real source of the problem* Oh, it is? Let me check.
Also me: *Goes and check on the test and prod environment and indeed, it's already working*
Also me to the power of three: *Contemplates on life, the meaning of it, of why I am here, who's going to throw out the trash later, asking myself whether my buddies and I will be drinking tonight, only to realize that I am still on the phone with my manager*
Me again: "Oh wow, it's working."
Manager: "Great job. What were the changes in the code?"
Me: "All I did was put console logs and pushed the changes to test and prod if they were producing the same log results."
Manager: "So there were no changes whatsoever, is that what you mean?"
Me: "Yep. I've no idea why it just suddenly worked."
Manager: "Well, as long as it's working! Just remove those logs and deploy them again to the test and prod environment and add 'Test and prod fix' to the commit comment."
Me: "But what if the problem comes up again? I mean technically we haven't resolved the issue. The only change I made were like 20 lines of console logs! "
Manager: "It's working, isn't it? If it becomes a problem, we'll work it out later."
---
I did as I was told, and Lo and Behold, the problem never occurred again.
Was the system playing a joke on me? The system probably felt sorry for me and thought, "Look at this poor fucker, having such a hard time on a problem he can't even comprehend. That idiotic programmer had so many sleepless nights and yet still couldn't find the solution. Guess I gotta do my job and fix it for him. I'm the only one doing the work around here. Pathetic Homo sapiens!"
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that it's over but..
What the fuck happened?5 -
The device looks cool and everything....but their reason we should buy it is the winner for me. Not only is that never a problem...but also, spot the mistake
15 -
Why isn't this working? I've wrote this same type of code at least 1000 times. Why must there always a problem? Literally every time I try and get something done there is always some stupid error and it's PISSING ME OFF. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MY BRAIN AN...oh...I misspelled "fucntion"8
-
For fucks sake python.
Reminder to the morons like me still using python:
Notepad++ is not a real IDE and Console output is not a real debugger.
And here we see the absolutely dogshit worthless error output of python:
Says its the fucking return line where the problem is. Besides the problem being between my fucking ears apparently, it took a fucking double take to realize I had capitalized the class keyword.
16 -
I have read everything available about blockchains and I still didn't understand why a company should need one.
I don't know if the problem is me or them8 -
Me: This is a good article about a CSS problem I always have and can never remember how to fix. Imma bookmark that.
Me, the next time I have that problem: Dang. Why doesn't this work. Better Google it.3 -
New ticket:
Ticket: "I just spoke with-"
Me: "LET ME STOP YOU RIGHT THERE! IM NOT GONNALET YOU FINISH! IS THERE A PROBLEM? THEN HAVE THE PERSON YOU SPOKE WITH / SAW THE FUCKING THING HAPPEN CONTACT ME! ALMOST NEVER IN MY LIFE HAS A GAME OF TELEPHONE EVER DONE ANYTHING BUT FUCKING DRAGGED OUT THE PROBLEM! WIDGET DOESN'T WORK? THING DOESN'T DO A NON SPECIFIED THING? FUCK YOU FOR DROPPING ALL THE INFO I NEED AND SENDING A VAGUE EMAIL!!!"
-ticket set to not gonna do shit until someone who saw the thing gets off their ass and says what is actually happening-1 -
Haha really clients make me laugh!
Yes you can have your website with all the bells and whistles, but sorry it costs money.
Do these people think we live on fresh air, while the reep the rewards for all the hard work we have done for them.
The problem today is everyone wants everything for nothing. 🤔1 -
Boss: so, problem x happened
Coworker 1: huh weird, what database is being used?
Boss: *adds Coworker 2 to the call*
Boss: so, problem x happened
Coworker 2: oh 😳 i forgot to tell everyone i changed the names of the tables and everything is now here
Me, just listening: 🤦♀️
Dude... he's nice, but c'mon, that's a dick move14 -
Me: Hey, can you help me with that?
Coworker: Sure
* Looks at code *
Ah, you just have to...
* Tries to type *
Uhm, do you the vim plugin?
Me: yeah, is that a problem?
Coworker: Weird flex but it's ok
* tries to type solution *
Uhm, do you also use another keyboard layout?
Me: Yes, I use the US layout (instead of the german layout)
Coworker: I'm done with this, you type
Me: 🤣🤣🤣2 -
Some have good teachers and do some good work.
The main problem for me is their false promises. There is no scarcity of junior developers. None.
Anyone can be a programmer doesn't mean that everyone can be a good one.
The first 2-3 years will be very complicated.2 -
User: "My computer is broken!"
Me: "What seems to be the problem?"
User: "I can't go to any websites."
Me: "It appears our connection to the internet is down."
User: "No it's not, look" *points to Wi-Fi status*
Me:
3 -
My fav interview was at my previous job. It was a junior position. The lead was a very friendly and wise guy. He kept pushing me (positively) with subtle hint until I get a code right. After completing each problem he give me elaborate explanation about the meaning of the problem and how to approach it from other angles. It felt like I'm in front of buddha who is making me realize the inner working of the world. Didn’t get 50% of the questions right, still he recruited me because "You were very curious and you were having fun solving problems". Best one and half years of my career.4
-
I just got a bugreport for an ages old release of a software which was assumed finished. Problem is, i couldnt find the source anywhere.
"hey, could you send me the file so i can check the bug?"
*sends jar file*
"yay im saved"
thanks java, for being easily disassembled 👌😍1 -
Being Honest,
I never had any problem with Google tracking my activities. I love their services and I feel like they're using my data to really serve me better.
But I do have problems with Amazon and Facebook.
Amazon keeps disturbing me with their annoying ads recommending things I've already purchased.
Using Facebook on the other hand is like standing nude in public.18 -
Yesterday my cousin called me to fix his scanner, he said that it didn't work anymore. When i went to his house to check it out, the scanner worked properly! In the 99% of cases, the problem is between the device and the chair2
-
People talk about how the use of Linux as a desktop requires an inordinate amount of time, as if that's a unique problem in Linux. There is no such thing as an operating system that I don't spend weeks and months tweaking to make my own.
The difference is that Linux doesn't resist me like other OSes.2 -
I don't need you to reiterate what the problem is. I am aware. I was the one who told you what the problem is. Via email and Slack. Why do you keep restating it to me like you are the one who figured out? I know the table isn't syncing with the third party object. I'm trying to figure out WHY. No amount of "I'm pretty sure the sync process is broken" will trigger a solution. Stop coming into my office every 5 minutes with a new "revelation" that wasn't even your own. This isn't my code, and since the owner of said code is not here to fix it, I have to spend some time figuring out how this damn thing works. SO PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LET ME WORK SO I CAN FIX THIS2
-
She: Hey, if I send you a video (made of photos), could you please rotate the images (they are rotated 45 degrees)?
Me: hmmm sure.
*She sending the video*
Me: Wait... there is some text over the rotated photos...
She: That's a problem?
Are you fucking kiding me? How the fuck I can rotate *only* the images in a video where you put also some text (not rotated)???
Can't you visualize that if I do that, the text will be rotated 45 degrees and the video will be still wrong?1 -
Yesterday night, pushed code that work normally to prod server, website down, internal server error, too many connection to MySQL server, tried to fix it for 4 hours, nothing to do, removed the new code, still the same problem, in my head, I told myself that I'm not good at programming (not the first time), send an email to the host, they tell me the problem is from them and they fixed it. And now I know I'm not bad enough.2
-
WTF IS SUPPORT FOR?
A: Can you help fix X?
B: Can you help Y?
C: I see Z just crashes, fix it.
Me (in my mind): Can you tell me WTF is the actual problem and what investigation you have done?
Why the fuck are we paying you monkeys?
My company should just pay me all your salaries, and I will write a monitoring system to send out these types of "alerts" in a month.4 -
My partner says I'm too much of dry logic and lacking in emotions. The way I want to find logic in everything and ignore illogical spontaneous emotions... Isn't helping me in here.
Just wanted to vent out and ask whether this is the curse of the nature of work... with tech I am in (I fantasise it to be that) or is it just My individual problem?15 -
Excuse me Ubuntu.. what the fuck is your problem??? (Here I am waiting for fan boys standing for their favourite OS btw)
46 -
My supervisors was shocked that I am an atheist and says “we accept all kinds of people”, then proceeds on trying to convince me that Christianity is the way (in life and work)
Note: I have no problem with people having religion and I respect them, but damn don’t force me into it.8 -
Adventures with house IT
I'm currently experimenting with PowerShell but my scripts won't run even though I've got every local permission. The error message indicates it's a GPO problem.
"No problem" le me thinks and calls IT hotline.
After 2 incompetent and unprofessional technicians i've still got no solution. I'm waiting for the second tech to call back because he "needed some time to get to know PowerShell" (he is a trained and certified SysAdmin).
During my call he couldn't decide if it was a GPO problem or not.
And this is just one story of their incompetence...8 -
Just came back from vaccation yesterday. During sprint retrospective today I hear my team was having trouble dealing with the API layer (which was mostly written by me). Suggestion was a session where I sit and explain the application to the team ,which I have no problem with.
One of my teammates asserts that it's written in such a way that "only the person who wrote it can modify it".
Agree to disagree but whatever. This thing goes through code review everytime I push changes to it. If there was a problem I don't know why he's just discovering it 6 months into the project. I assure you there's no rocket surgery going on. The problem is that I have been doing everything on that side of the project and nobody was curious enough to give it a read sometime. In fact I dont think anything needed to change while I was on vacation, they just didn't have me to troubleshoot every problem for them like usual 😤 -
So I went through the first round Google interview process and was declined for not "finishing fast enough" even though I did in fact solve the problem in the allotted time.
Either it's a BS excuse and they were just interviewing me to interview me for a quota or there is some invisible time limit that I am not aware of.
Really annoys me when I just don't know exactly what I'm doing wrong and instead get what feels like cop out answers.4 -
Don't you just love when people hit you up on facebook saying their laptop/PC broke, tell you the symptome and then immediately ask:
- What could be the problem
Well, fucking trillion different things? What am I a fucking wizard? You want me to conclude why your PC is shutting randomly down when all you told me is "It's shutting down... like, randomly" and I don't have any insight into your PC and it's contents?3 -
So I had a problem. MongoDB replica set connection was not accessible to server in another container. I’ve used ChatGPT. Gave it my code. It showed me the things I didn’t know and helped me work out a problem I’ve struggled with for 2 days.
It’s awesome!
ChatGPT is basically StackOverflow 2.0. It’s a tool and a great one. I can’t wait for an actual production level implementation target to software engineers.
P.S. I think co-pilot sucks.1 -
Colleague: I cant install windows on our playcomputer. you broke it.
<Me walks to the computer, he looks away>
<silently deletes the debian entry in the nvram>
<installs windows, without an problems>
Me: So, where is the Problem?
Colleague<slightly angry>: I made it exact like you!
Me: o_O1 -
Just got a new job.
All good, really enjoying it.
Only problem is, the canteen smells of chips and it's making me very hungry... Water for me :/9 -
Music.
Music is serious lly the ultimate drug for me, it can change the mood of a day and inspire me beyond anything else.
The problem is i keep forgetting it and go for days without it, then a couple of days i put my headset on and my productivity skyrockets8 -
My co-worker pointing out there is a problem with my code that isn't implemented 100% yet. Hinting she wanted me to finish it over the weekend.
Yeah FMDL. -
Me: Asking a question that boils down to an xy-problem on stackoverflow.
5 upvotes
Me: Answering my own question pointing out that my question basically is an xy-problem and pointing out a direction to properly solve it.
4 downvotes
At least I am not the only one having a brainfart. -
I'm starting to think that "Machine Learning" is the most unfortunate term that the industry has ever seen.
How people approach a problem here where I work: "I have a problem, I don't know how to solve it, I don't have any data. Let's implement a Machine Learning algorithm that will solve the problem for me."4 -
My best skill is problem is:
*** problem solving ***
Really, at least in all the teams I've been working until now, I'm always surprised by myself. How fast I am in spotting the problem root and find or suggest a solution. Even on things I have almost no knowledge.
My worst skill is:
*** problem solving ***
Being so effective make me everybody's slave.
Everybody always rely on me for any kind of weird shit. If I try to "outsource" the problem, after one day it will bounce back on me and I solve it in no time.
So I've no time for anything else that solving other people's problems.
Constant interruptions and context switching.
And worst, my bosses don't understand why I don't finish my tasks. And I cannot blame my team.8 -
I'M A SENIOR DEVELOPER NOT A BUSINESS ANALYST...
IF YOU GIVE ME SOME CRAPPY LEGACY CODE THAT SOMEONE RANDOMLY DECIDED TO USE, THE ONLY WAY I CAN UNDERSTAND IT IS BY RUNNING IT AND REVERSE ENGINEERING THE "BUSINESS LOGIC".
ADD THAT WITH BAD INPUTS... THE ONLY THING YOUR DOING IS WASTING MY TIME..
JUST BURN THE WHOLE THING AND GIVE ME THE REQUIREMENTS OF WHAT YOU ACTUALLY WANT....
It feels like I've been fucking a pig all week...
Oh and now my team agrees and will look to get the actual requirements from the business...
This feels like a hallow victory.... As that was the first thing I told them to do.... -
>be me, a student taking Discrete Math and probability
>Professor really loves hearthstone, gives out a problem set that is hearthstone themed
>Somebody posts the problem on the hearthstone subreddit
>1464 karma
>354 comments
>A few commenters wrote down their answers
>A week later
>9 people get caught cheating.
>Turns out the commenters did the problem wrong. Professor took screenshots of the comments and told the graders to check if the submitted homework matched the picture
3 -
<html><body>shit everywhere<meta>more shit</meta></meta><\meta>countles garbage code lines</body><head>[copy&pasted html code that actually works <img ... />]Tons of shitload</body></body></html>
Me: what are you reading?
PM: some email code that doesn't render well in the browser...
Me: let me see... OMFG!!!! who was the author of this garbage?
PM: Oh! it is not that bad! It was working well 'till today...
Me: But... but... this is really bad! you can't send this to customers!
PM: I think that the problem is the "/" at the img's end...
True story. -
Me: Can you write the exact code one more time but in C language this time, so we can see it?
Other: But why, what's the problem?
Me: I don't know, maybe is garbage collector which collected all your code because IT LOOKS LIKE TRASHHHHH :@:@:@:@2 -
Very senior colleague: *hits a problem that is a minor inconvenience*
VSC: "I have to restart this task, the two weeks I put into it must be deleted!"
Me: "You forgot to do *this* here, add this 1 line and it's ok."
VSC: *An hour of rumbling about the codebase*
VSC: *adds my fix*
VSC: "Ok, it works now, you can review again"
Me: *cries inside*2 -
Today I solved the problem assigned to me by changing one character. Simplest fix ever. Except that this problem is not on my project, and I don't have control over this project, so I can't merge my pull request or deploy the code, and the dev that does hasn't answered email today, and he's not scheduled out, and he's not in his office. Whatever, I'm just gonna say it's fuck it Friday and call it a week.1
-
*Nervous student comes in for the first interview I am conducting as a developer*
Me (as an interviewer): What is best approach to search data?
Student: It will take linear time but if data is sorted, we can do it in logarithmic time.
Me: [Smiles] Take a hint Hash Map?
Student: Yes, with it, we can do it in constant time.
Me: Okay, Bloom Filter anytime?
Student: *sweating* noooo...
Me: Okay. I am a developer so I know this.
Student: *about to cry*
Me: No problem but why will you search data when there is no problem? Don't you have better work.
Student: *confused* yup
Me: *laughs but immediately controls* Take it lightly. You know what you need to do this job. You are HIRED. :)2 -
The hand of IT guy in family
My family sees me as guy who works on IT stuff. The best part is that I will have to help them whenever they encounter problem regarding electronics in daily activities.
Son! The internet is not working
Son! The printer is not working
Son! The TV is not working
Son! My phone didnt get any signals
Son! The microwave is not working
Son! The TV remote is not working
Son! Why is this whatsapp popup always appear whenever I opened it
Son! The dvd player is not working
Son! My phone wont charged
Son! I want to buy online stuff
Son! The email that ur uncle sent me cannot be opened
Son! The email that ur aunt sent me is not there
Son! Can u help me download this travelling app
Son! I opened a website and it told me that I have 163718362 virus!
Son! I forget my password of my facebook account!
Son! Some guy idk on facebook added me as his/her friends, what should i do?
....
Son! The internet is not working (again)
The fact is that, most if these problem, I helped them by just.. restarting the router, reboot the router for 1 min interval, find specific toggler in disfunctional hardware that they accidentally hit during sweeping the floor, take out the power and put it back again, show them how to's in many account/payment mechanism in apps, etc
The very best part that whenever they satisfied, whenever things back to work again, whenever they can reset the password:
"I've tried what you told me, but it just didnt work, but idk when u did it, it works! you are really an IT guy"
And i was like
🙃4 -
I had some fun with ChatGPT today. I wondered how good its problem solving skills are. Turns out, it's no better than an entry/junior dev armed with all the docs out there - it knows what's written there, how to use the thing (language/framework/tool/etc.), but it has no "understanding" neither of the problem nor the tool, in a holistic way. It's got the knowledge, but it neither has the skill nor understanding of how/why to use it to solve a problem (any problem beyond plain simple complexity).
So the problem I asked it to solve was related to this one I had: https://devrant.com/rants/6312527 .
It was painful to troubleshoot this problem with ChatGPT. It kept on focusing on this particular problem and reacting to errors while trying to fix its initial solution. It took us a good while. Eventually, it reached a working solution, but it was an ugly, convoluted approach that was not feasible to cover my use case with.
FWIW I think it is interesting to follow its line of thought. Eventually, a pattern emerges of how it tries to solve the problem. And it reminds me a lot of myself on the first week in the IT field :)6 -
Me: *opens existing shared telegram channel*
Me: Hello developers of SDK xxx, we have another issue. We've gotten 2 reports from users of problem X occurring while using the SDK to contact your servers. It happens here, then this happens, using version Y. Code is the same open source app + library as before if you need to check it, same 2 files as before. Here are some screen shots of the error in the app too, just in case
*3 days later*
Dev: yes this does indeed seem to be a problem. Can you provide us more info to debug this effectively?
Me: ..... I sure can ..... if you let me know what it is you need ..... because you currently have access to absolutely everything already .... and i've been waiting 3 days, some specifics of what you need would be great!!!
2 -
Fucking mongodb I swear to god what is your problem, why do you close all connections after successful authentication you piece of concentrated crapjuice and why is the best information you can give me a pissing "Connection ended" message your demonic unholiness?
Stick a cactus up your rear, pot included5 -
PM said I modified code that change UI so user may not familiar with. So, how could I know what is user familiar with if PM doesn't include spec or user manual to me.
No one tell me how to solve the problem, since you just want problem to be solve I solved it my way. :)2 -
Finally figured out that 500.30 error.
You won't believe it, but y'all probably will... But I solved my problem by fixing literally one line of code.
This of course pissed me off because this problem persisted for an entire week, even my supervisor could not figure it out.
But I learned so much in failing to find it and making wrong assumptions along the way.
Solving a problem is sometimes just half the battle, the journey along the way counts for something.
My supervisor was super impressed too, so that made me even more happy.
Anyways onto the next problem. 🤪6 -
I have a problem calling ressources.
I have a list of 4 ppl that can help me.
3 of them have no idea and the fourth is too busy to answer me.
fuck -
Problem with code:
Computer: "Error on line 189: ....."
Me: "But the code ended on line 58 "
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Programming is funny
!false
(its true)
(i wrote it here because devRant allows us to post one rant in 2 hours)4 -
This is 1:05AM and this is the 3rd time I start over my question to Stack Overflow because I don't know what the fuck is going on with jQuery UI, and when I finally get it, Google finds me both the question and the answer of the same and only dude that had the same problem than me FIVE FUCKING YEARS AGO and he couldn't solve it.
Fuck this, tomorrow I'll start over with VueJS.3 -
Best non dev activity for me is riding public transports home after coding. It's so underwhelming that my brain focuses really well - comes with the problem of looking crazy when I take out my laptop in the middle of the subway1
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I started a short term contract job that requires access to company online resources. Only problem is the office I'm working in has really bad internet. The connection speed at best is comparable to dial up and at worse just non-existent. I tried tethering to my phone but this wasn't working either due to low signal. I mention this as an issue early on the week to the boss. Later in the week the boss asks how things are going at the same time that the network is down. I tell him the same problem. He then tells me his computer is fast and he has internet, so I show him the 2 computers I have access to and how they are too slow/no internet. He then tells me a bad workman blames his tools and he's not happy with me for having problems.
Don't even know what to say to that. I just told him this role wasn't working for me and clocked out.8 -
Sometimes when shit is getting difficult I lay on my bed reading a book for a while. Then I'll go for a run for half an hour to go back to the problem I was solving with a clear mind. Works everytime and keeps me healthy in the process.2
-
Me VS Dentist:
Me: Hey Doc, it hearts on the left side of my jaw, can you take a look at it maybe?
Dentist: Awh that’s nothing. If you just keep it clean there is no problem. Let’s make a picture just to be sure.
Also Dentist: i can’t see it with my bare eyes but the picture indicates an upcoming problem on the right side. I HAVE TO REPAIR THIS!
No fucking complaints there but still.
This reminds me of IT people and car mechanics. They can tell you anything to earn cash from you.2 -
Project: Angular 11
Package doc 2.1: For Angular 13+
Package release 2.1: For Angular 12+
Me: Well, this package solve our problem but it need Angular 12 or 13 to run, so do we go for 13 ?
Team: yep,the update is on schedule so take it and update it later.
Me: We can also go to 14 directly.
Team: No, we prefer LTS version
...some weeks later...
Team: Update to 13 complete !
Me: Yes ! Let's go !
...Install package 2.1...
... Compilation...
🚫 Angular 14 is required for version 2.1
Me: are you fu***** kidding?
Final word: please, keep a good documentation on version requirements 😁
(The package has currently a 3.x in beta to solve the 2.1 angular 14 problem because why not 🤷) -
Manager encounters problem, hacks a load of stuff together to "get around" the problem. Asks me to fix the issue. I spend a week tidying up what he'd hacked together, then change it so I encounter the problem.
A morning of probing later, the problem?
One of our servers is running 2 firewalls, so we were having network connection issues on just that server.2 -
The most annoying thing about being an IT professional...
Microsoft never calls me to tell me there is a problem with my computer. WTF!
I use Linux, but still, I totally miss all the fun I would have with that wanker...1 -
Stackoverflow is full of pedantic cunts who can’t admit they don’t know how to answer your question, I just spent 20 minutes having 4 people tell me because they didn’t have “the full code” they couldn’t help with the problem, despite by the end of me posting more and more (completely unrelated) code they were LITERALLY complaining because I hadn’t added fucking “#include” statements 😑7
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Is it mean to tell someone you can't help them with their coding problem because you can't take the way they smell?
A coworker of mine has some major BO mixed with cigarette smoke and it makes it hard to focus as I try to help me.
Am I an asshole?14 -
Our teacher who teaches us Linux doesn't even know how to run shell script. Every time we ran into the problem he is like you should solve by it yourself. Most of his lectures seems nonsense to me and looks like I'm wasting my time and money7
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Problems. We get them frequently, to me it feels like life is not about being happy and all, it's about how you handle your problems. Any kind of problem, be it work related, you personal life anything.
Developing the skill to deal with different kinds of problem is what makes your life better and better.
What world taught me till now, to run away from the discomfort, a lot people talk about how environment is bad, and you should not take shit from anyone. But few things tell us what's actually lack inside us. Maybe, on social media we don't boast a self awareness based thinking because is makes people uncomfortable to think about their own behaviour. Self awareness is becoming more and more important for me now. I am trying to keep my self love intact, it's hard though. But knowing your own shortcomings and taking actions to understand and do something about them makes me feel in more control. Makes me happy. :)
I'm writing this, because I just got a work problem and I snapped and closed my laptop very impatiently. Then in few seconds I realised, it's a kind of a problem that I should try to 'deal' with and not go into a loop of self hatred. Even though my heart ja racing fast, and all the hormones which are making me wanna feel sad, I feel aware and more in control that hey, you are feeling this because this problem has these consequences but let's try to solve it. :) -
Usually my problem is that my colleagues are too distracting.
I just put on headphones and play black metal or hypergrind.
The first is relaxing, the latter overloads my brain to release me of other distraction. It helps me to escape and keep only those things in mind that I actually need.4 -
At work, how often do you create your own apps? As opposed to adding a new feature to an existing one?
I am thinking maybe the biggest difference between me and everyone else on my team is because I have a lot more experience creating my own apps.
So when I get a problem I tend to start by thinking how to create a new app for it, what would be the ideal way to solve the problem. And then if needed, figure out how to integrate it into an existing project.
Whereas everyone else thinks about how to solve a problem within the context (and constraints) of an existing app.17 -
Today, I was sad because of a problem that I could not fix for the past month. I was so desperate and disappointed that I seriously considered switching career. Then mentor helped me fixed it. To say that I went ballistic is an understatement, I went intercontinentally ballistic.
How is everyone's day going?2 -
CTO at my previous company think that wordpress based website is took a long time to load.
I suggest to use caching and fix ton of abusive query, He refused. He spun up more VM, upgrade the ec2 instance level to the max. Said that he resolved the problem. But the problem still persist actually.
Blame me for slow response website, blame me for late of deployment because data is not ready ( there's a lot of spam in there, we need to clean it before )
I left the company, Coworker said that he just install a bunch of caching plugin,
He made the website down for entire day and don't understand what is happening. Ask other developer to fix it quickly, to do unpaid overime
The site is back to bussiness, said to all team that he already fixed it.
Everything good happened, he claimed that it was his idea.
And the best part is : he put 'ssh' as skill list in his personal site1 -
Me:"<generic coworker's name> could help me with my problem."
*sees that his/hers office is in the other building at our complex*
"Naaaaaah i'll google it again and waste another 2 hours of my time." -
What is with IT and their obsession with error messages?
"If there is no error message, I cannot help"
Your not going to get an error message because the problem is VPN is messing up my DNS due to tunneling. There is no error other than me not having Internet if VPN disconnects unless I reboot.2 -
I did it, I know what the problem is. I want my boss to actually care about me as a person and growth rather than a cog for his system.9
-
It is really hard not to feel arrogant when everyone around you is a shitbag.. but that makes me feel like a shitbag myself so the problem kind of solves itself.2
-
When a lovely gentleman from across the sea calls me and says
"hello I am from the computer department, there seems to be a problem with your pc"
me:"what department is that again?"
Him:"The computer department"
me:"Could you also tell me what that loud samba music is in the background?"2 -
When having to fix parts from an other programmer's code, do NOT concentrate on the small code expected to be wrong, instead read and understand the whole program around it!
Best practice:
1) Why is this code here
2) What does this code do
3) How does the code solve the problem
(just happened to me 😅) -
A story from the old days
My father had a fame around he's friends that he understood this nasty business that is computers and in the pre-windows time he was reasonably knowledgeable... But as things evolved he didn't evolve with them so when he's friends asked him to help he would take me to solve the problem...
One day he asked me to see what was the problem with a friend's personal computer. This is a 70+ year old man.
When I get to his computer I do a quick check and see it's too infected with so many viruses to the point it is better to just format and clean install, so I ask him to backup he's files and the next day I picked up the PC and clean installed and setup the all thing...
Not more than 3 months pass and the guy says to my dad the problem was back...
I get there and the antivirus was turned off and the PC was infected... Found it weird but okay, enabled the antivirus, cleaned everything... Back to as new.... This time I instructed him to keep the antivirus always updated and running...
One week later to my surprise: he reports it is all back... Now I am getting tired of this and went to he's browsing history to find out how the hell he is achieving this... Too my surprise the amount of early internet shady porn sites was over the top...
I know had to tell a 70+ year old man how to safely watch porn... But that is not my problem, so I ask him what kind of sites he's going to... He blames he's grandson for using the internet in he's computer... Only problem: he's grandson is 2 years old...
I just set up the bookmarks with some children sites and convinced my father to take a look at that and either instruct the man or the kid on how to watch porn without getting a venereal disease... -
God I hate React so bad
I get the hype but omg it is so confusing
Literally everytime I try adding something nothing works and I have to troubleshoot, EVERYTHING is a problem
And don't even get me started on REACT + TYPESCRIPT
IMO VueJS is just a smoother nicer experience overall7 -
Background: Process issue in the plant that the workers said was a software problem. I’m a Software Dev Manager
Exec: This is broken and it is a software problem. We just noticed it this week.
Me: Couldn’t have been us, relevant code was changed this time last year. Sounds like a process issue.
Exec: Can you give me an exact date it was changed last year?
Me: (Seriously, WTF?... checks git...) It was changed on December 2nd, 2016. Couldn’t have been us.
Exec: Can you detail that change for us?
Me: (GTFO) No, not my problem, stop trying to make it my problem.1 -
So I have a job at a client to fix their system because the last systemadmin fucked everything up. One of the things I need to do is let the boss work from home.
No problem. I set up a vpn connection to work and everything just works. Except that the home network had the same dhcp range so that had to change.
I login on the router and literally everything is fucking locked. I call them and they send me a new router same fucking problem. So we bought an asus router so I finally can fix it.
QUESS WHAT THE FUCKING GARBAGE DOESNT EVEN HAVE BRIDGE MODE. FUCK KPN AND THEIR MODEMS.1 -
!rant
Hey guys...
It's finally working.
Just needed to upgrade the drivers.
Using RGBL + 3 28BYJ steppers.
Just have one tiny problem and need help...
The resolution isn't right... Instead of moving mms, if I send a move of 64mm (one stepper revolution) it just turns one time instead of moving 64mm... Where are the settings to change this?
Btw this is the best birthday present ever, from me to me :-D also... My parents bought me a 3D printer, waiting for it to arrive... Me happy today
31 -
This morning I got a reply to my tech support email:
The problem was that the dynamic pages on my website are no longer being served as dynamic pages and so IIS is throwing errors on every page load. Seems to me like they've done something their end because I didn't touch it when it happened...
The tech support email essentially told me to rename all my files from .cshtml (ie. a dynamic page) to .html.
I'm not expert, but I doubt this is going to solve the problem...4 -
I am learning exploit development on Windows and I have a problem with it, when I analyze the registers ESP and EIP.
I am able to overwrite both ESP and EIP.
The problem is that I can not make use of "mona.py". "Mona.py" keeps showing me that there are no pointers and any os dlls whereas that is not true.
Immunity Debugger is working completely fine.
I need "mona.py" to find pointers to ESP, but it says there is none.4 -
Fellow dev: I am trying to put a joomla site in git.. Maybe you can help
Me: Sure what's the problem.
Fellow dev: I added the .gitignore file but when I clone the site onto the server all the files in the .gitignore are missing.
Me: Any files you add to git ignore are ignored by .git.
Me: Dies a little bit inside, is guy has been working with for over a year. -
Me - Ooo I've got this idea ! This will fix this "No ones" problem in programming.
(Thinking this will change the programming for everyone)
Starts Coding......
Few minutes later ...Searching stackoverflow for silly syntax errors.
...Finds a 2 years old project from some guy, who already finished working on the idea and answering question as "This is a bullshit idea!, Never try to make something like this."
Me - (Suffering from existential crisis)2 -
What things do people around you keep repeating related to programming?
For me it is surely "linux is soooo permissive", which is true but still funny when people start saying it unrelated and simply as a mean to jokingly explain why something doesn't work how is supposed to. Even if the problem is not even on a computer4 -
Monday morning: "Hey uuuh the client receives 3 mails instead of one and only one of them is good, there's a problem, go fix it"
Yesterday, me: - "Hey I've been looking everywhere, made hundreds of tests, there's a problem with the files attached to the mail, they're unreadable"
-" I told you it's in the code, you didn't look deep enough"
This evening: "Umm it seems that there's indeed a permission issue. So I'm gonna rollback everything you've done since Monday"
One year. One year and I live this hell. -
"Warning: Functions are not valid as a React child. This may happen if you return a Component instead of <Component /> from render. Or maybe you meant to call this function rather than return it."
WHERE. TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK THE PROBLEM IS HAPPENING. OR SHUT THE FUCK UP.3 -
A coworker needed to check the number of users for brand. So he selected all rows from users table and then used php's count function. He released this piece onto production.
Later that day he asked me if there's a problem with the production env because his code is working on local.2 -
> Teacher uses a for loop to draw random dots
> Teacher explains we can't adjust the individual dots after the loop
> Teacher says we need to use classes
> Teacher creates classes
> Teacher doesn't show a solution to the initial problem
> Me is triggered as fuck3 -
My problem with “The DevOps Handbook” is the same problem I have with Star Trek: The Next Generation: it gave me seriously unrealistic expectations that senior leaders can be convinced to abandon stupid ideas.
Or maybe it’s just that in my mid-to-late thirties my tolerance for manglement is as low as it’s ever been, and I’ve grown out of that idealistic kiss-ass stage of my career.
…🤔 -
once I have to code in a public train station’s restroom just because I have no place to sit and floor is not comfortable enough because people keep walking by distracting me,
So I cover the lid, pull my laptop out, use my phones hotspot connect to remote server to fix the problem.
The smell is not good.2 -
Me: hey guys there seems to be an integration problem?
Vendor: hacky workaround
Me: no that’s a hacky workaround, please check the integration
Vendor (sometime later): yeah so we made an engineering change like, a while back, which fundamentally alters stuff.
Me: so shit is fucked because you don’t think customers should be informed ahead of release? Dude do you not want our money? -
Hardware Developing.
My current school project where I build a gps thief lock for my moped had me realized one thing. I don't want to go into Hardware Developing. The first problem took me about 4 months until I finally gave up and solved it differently. And this goes on and on and on. You fixed something and the next day it doesn't work anymore for some reason. I never had this problem when coding. It's fun to do stuff with electronics but coding is just way more rewarding. Anyone else had the same experience?1 -
So is it just a standard thing, now, where interviewers get you to do a coding problem remotely on a shared notepad while they watch you over video chat? For me at least, it is the most uncomfortable style of interview I've experienced. I don't think I'll ever get through one :(4
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I like programming but too much of a good thing becomes a bad thing 🤔 I dunno
Me programming year 1️⃣: I want to learn as much as I can
Me programming year 2️⃣: I want to solve this complicated problem and surpass the expectations
Me programming year 3️⃣: I want to solve this complicated problem and get paid
Me programming year 4️⃣: I want to solve this complicated problem even if it is difficult & stressful
....
Me programming year 8️⃣: I aint want nothing no more..4 -
My personal laptop suddenly broke.
Clearly, something in the motherboard got broken, because no LED is working, long press for hard reset is not working: only fans are on when I power on the button. To disconnect I should remove the battery.
It's an old (and very loved by me) laptop, but I explained it in the repair shop, and they told me they "will do all possible to repair it" by a reasonable price, so worth it.
After some days the call me to tell me that, after some tests like a display test or ram test, the problem is probably in the motherboard and they don't have the tools to fix that.
They can bring the laptop to another specialized shop for, of course, a much more expensive price.
How should I react? I'm very angry. When you told me you could "do all possible to repair it" after I told you where the problem probably is, it implies you have the tools, at least, to find out if the problem were there.
When we talk I said "yes, I accept I'll pay that price if you aren't able to fix it".
Being coherent, are you expecting to me to have the tools to pay you in that case?
I'm so tired of the impunity of companies for treating customers as if they had no idea about technology always even if in the most of cases is it. (My laptop was not apple)
What a waste of time and money.7 -
I've probably spent more time on refactoring than on actual coding with this personal project. The problem is, ideas come to me while developing, and that means I have to go back and change things every time. Is that normal or is there a better way?3
-
Me: I've spent 2 hours on this problem, this is exhausting, I need to take a break...
*10 seconds into the break*
My Brain: I think I know what the problem is
Me: Onto another 2 hour coding/debugging session!
Who needs breaks anyways1 -
Is it just me or is there a serious problem with devRant not loading more rants once you reach the bottom2
-
Just received a client who needed me to add content to his website. I do provide content adding services where clients have to provide all the content I will add to their website.
The only problem is that this client gave me the content for his about page, which only consists of three sentences. Seems simple? Well the three sentences are big enough to be considered three paragraphs!1 -
Just got a call from my father who wants me to help my stepmom with her phone. The GPS is bonked, sometimes apps won't download, and she's at the end of her rope. I don't have any problem, but at the same time, there's some things I can really only do by having physical access to the device. ARGH
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻5 -
So after working on a website for like a month to make it kinda pixel perfect in every resolution on every device the web designer just tells me "ok, you should move this whole thing up 30px"
Ok, no problem, I change the CSS for that div and make it all go up 30px
The very next day he tells me the while thing is fucked up and not aligned any more
I mean, is was all the same as before, nothing changed! -
What is the longest time any of you have been debugging one problem?
For me it was at my first internship where I was creating a multithreaded qt application. I had a problem that took me two weeks to figure out. I was trying to call a function from a qt thread when it wasn't the main thread. Took me two weeks to figure that out since it was my first time doing multithreaded applications, and the fix was dead simple.
Any similar stories?1 -
So I use 4 differents setups in my life nowadays
My main PC at my home, which is on Windows 7
My PC at work, which is on Windows 8.1
My Cloud PC for gaming and video editing, on Windows 10
My travelling PC, which is on Ubuntu.
The Ubuntu, it's okay, no problem. But trust me, that's a real pain in the ass to switch from one OS to another.4 -
I'm supposed to find why a pdf is not generated correctly. But here is the problem :
I don't have access to the production to see the bug and the pdf they gave me is different to the ones I generated myself. But ! It's not over :
My local version does not generate the same pdf as the acceptance testing version !
So here I am, with three different pdf and only the possibility to modify the local one, where the bug isn't.1 -
I have to meet with a staff member who is generally good at her job but has become increasingly disrespectful and resistant to any direction. Her attitude makes it difficult for me to work with her, but every time I talk to her about anything she is so unpleasant about it and afterwards it is almost the silent treatment. Do you have suggestions for me as her manager to address the attitude without making the whole situation even more unpleasant?
I know I can’t make her respect me, but is there a way that discussing her disrespectful attitude will result in a better attitude and not just make the problem worse?3 -
So I salvaged some computer that was about to be thrown out by IT because it works perfectly fine and would be a waste to lose.
The (current) problem is, there is no built-in wi-fi adapter so I had to order a usb adapter to plug into the machine.
Fortunately enough it supports Linux but cones with a cd with the _source_ of the driver in it and we are supposed to build it. Now what's the problem with that?
First problem: building needs all sorts of build tools, starting from gcc and make. Since it's a fresh install, though, I _cannot_ install those normally because -- you guessed it -- I don't have a WiFi connection, which is why I needed the bloody adapter in the first place, so I spent hours trying to fetch the binaries from the apt register using another computer and bringing them over via USB.
Once that was (more or less) successful, the next problem came around; Second problem: the instructions clearly state to run make, but there is no fucking makefile anywhere so that obviously fails spectacularly. What _is_ there are some bash scripts so I try running those.
Now, just when I think it's finally done (one of the scripts has been running for a while and seems to work) the compiler dies with an error: the fucking driver won't build for the current kernel version. And not just that, but it is clear nobody is using basic things like include guards because gcc kept screaming at me about the same macros being defined over and over due to header file re-inclusion. Like, seriously? Come on!
Long story short the fucking adapter is going back to the seller, let's see if the next one I order more civilized.8 -
I code for 2 1/2 days straight, I'm in the zone, no comments, because I'm not in some comp sci beginners class, finish up, test it the only problem is with... All of it... Just considering writing another program to comb through that one and find the mistakes for me3
-
User: your python script is giving me error, <insert stack trace indicating a missing directory on the system path>
Me: Did you add the directory to the path
User: yes
Walks over to desk checks path, finds a space after the semicolon separator before the directory.
Removes space, problem fixed
Why Windows, why can't you just strip the white space.
Returns to desk, hides underneath and waits out the end of the day 😿 -
Worst interview ever happened a couple of years ago.
Both me and the company were certain we were a match. The only problem was the physical distance. I live in another city, and is quite stuck because of family matters.
They turned me down because they didn't want me commuting for four hours a day, nor did they believe working while commuting would be a good solution.
So close, yet so far away.6 -
Sometimes I find that when I'm stuck on a problem the best thing to do is work on anything except the problem for a bit. 90% of the time a solution will come to me if I just stop focusing on the problem.
-
Hey guys, I am implementing some integration tools for Blokchains and planning to make it SaaS ( Software as a Service ). The biggest problem for me is to generate a unique name for that project. Can you help me?3
-
Competing on different subjects while in school have taught me how to work efficiently under pressure. My teachers have given me a systemmatic approach to problem solving, from divide and conquer (math), careful reading and analysis of the problem, as well as good documentation (physics).
And last, but not least, I learned to type fast, which is really helpful in speedy expression of thoughts. And for that, I gotta thank IRC. -
Folks,
I've copied a folder(size: 10.7GB) to external HD, and it's occupying 154GB on external disk.
yes, the folder has a lot of small files in it. but ..
Surprisingly, the same folder occupy 10.8GB on internal HD. and that drive is not compressed.
I defragmented external HD, problem still unresolved.
* allocation unit size is default(4096B) on both the disks. both are NTFS
Plz, help me, explain me... :-(
11 -
Alright, my very first post here was about this project and I am thinking it out loud again.
I see a problem and I am struggling to find a solution.
Now what I am thinking of is to articulate the problem well and state WHY I believe it needs to be solved. There are some reasons which must be presented in a capitalist way.
Furthermore, I am thinking of doing a market research to understand various demographics, validate the idea, and figure out the product-market fit.
Now, this qualitative research and quantitative data will help me decide whether it is worth putting in the efforts to solve the problem or not.
And since, we have an MVP already (funnily yes, we built it before all of the above), that will help me validate the tangible solution.
Once we get a confidence boost, then it will be time to get that single transaction which has net positive cash flow.
Start scaling to 'next billion users', so a billion transaction with net positive cash flow.
I won't be branching out into multiple verticals before be able to sustainably scale the core USP.
And while the second half sounds like, 'I have a million dollar idea', I am trying to be more and more realistic and rationale instead of falling in love with my idea.
I don't even have an idea (read solution) to fall in love with. Rather I have a problem that is bothering me.
So, yes, I am continuing this journey to solve the problem which started in second year of my hostel room and has evolved over 10 years. -
*me to myself* okay this time I'm not solving that problem with recursion. The assignment is hard enough already.
*A ton of sweat, blood and hours later* Whoops. -
Client: I put a signed copy of my contract on my website, like someone told me to do, so that people can click a button, download it and sign it. I'm having the problem of people changing the contract before they send it back to me. Can you fix that?
Me: Yes. Take your contact off of your website.
Client: ok, my next question is: can you make it so that I can use the phone and the internet at the same time? Someone told me that I couldn't. I have cable internet I think. (She was remembering dial-up)
Every topic began with "someone told me ..."
This client is going to be .... interesting.2 -
System malfunction: *appears out of the blue*
Me: *searching for THE problem*
Seniors: - it's never just a single problem...
WTF!?!? How come? How many problems are likely to appear out of the blue to cause some malfunction?
Every time.
Every time I'm debugging smth others say it's always multiple problems.
Every time I find a single root cause
seriously, guys, how often is it multiple problems. Honestly, I've never had more than a single root cause. And I've cracked a looooot of them.
Where does that belief come from?2 -
The feels when your senior developer is telling you that you don't need a debug version of your application that is kept up to date for you to work on.
The feels when he then tells you that you should find the problem in the code it, fix it and commit, and wait for someone else to run it and see if it works. And if not, repeat.
My senior developer wants me to blind commit fixes without even checking if they do shit.
Pinch me please.1 -
I'm currently doing a small personal project on JavaScript and HTML5. I ran into a problem and tried asking my teacher about it. It wasn't the JavaScript teacher but the HTML one. Anyway, his response is, "the department won't let me solve your doubts about JavaScript, only about JQuery". Because some of my classmates ranted to the department about a project that teacher told us to do in JavaScript (which is not strictly his subject) So here I am, my problem is still unsolved and I'm pissed off. I wonder if its ok to tell a teacher to NOT solve the students doubts.2
-
One of the biggest IT magazines in Germany just posted an article with the caption: "What is coming up with Android O and will it fix the update drama?"
Are u fcking kidding me?! Android is not the problem in that case and no new version will fix a problem, that is related to upcoming versions of android, which are distributed by external providers, that are fcking independent from google... Wtf..6 -
Working with at a web dev job with a guy who is a really great programmer, the problem I have is I'm dyslexic and remember code is pretty hard for me but when I get in the flow I can do things. Him on the other hand is a machine, reads something and can implement it immediately. Do you guys have any tips on how to do better? I don't want to look like a complete noon.3
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Every time I try to use Android Studio in any linux distribution it makes file system read only mode and I have to use fsck command every time. Is there anybody who have the same problem as me 😐😐3
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Peace and quiet.
I'll play some smooth jazz or light classical, sit in my beanbag chair by the window, and take a 30 minute nap.
When I'm done, either the problem isn't a problem anymore or I have figured out a solution to my problem in my sleep.
This is something pretty new to me since wfh started and is one of the many of reasons why I will never go back.4 -
Had someone mention adding tasks to stories in our sprint mid-sprint is messing up the sprint statistics... Can someone explain to me how one is supposed to know every task and approximately how long it will take to complete for a given story before even opening the code base up?
This is currently my major gripe with agile / scrum. How exactly you're supposed to instinctively know the solution to a complicated problem, as well as the steps to implement it, the approximate time it'll take, AND roadblocks you'll run into on DAY ONE? WHAT?
Too often does a 2 point story turn into a 5 point story because deep down it was a more complicated problem than originally thought, and a good scrum developer is supposed to... Either clairvoyantly known that or just allocate hours into unrelated tasks?
Someone help me out here -
Got a ticket for a program's file sync feature timing out. After debugging forever I finally reach out to IT and get told there was a drive failure and the server RAID array is rebuilding. Gotta love efficient cross team communication.. just let me waste my time thinking it's my problem.
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I want to try some Android Development. I already have basic understanding of both C# and Java. C# even a little bit more. But the language is not the problem.
I just can not decide wether I should use Xamarin or do native development using Android Studio.
What would you suggest me, guys? :-)7 -
I am starting to think the biggest problem with my current project isn't the business unit changing their minds all the time. It looks like the biggest problem is me continuously refactoring the code.
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Curiosity
I try to read about stuff that is related to what I am doing. Trying to learn about design patterns. The most recent example being learning about the Actor Model when I worked on Orleans Grains in a project at my company. That lead to learning about erlang and akka.
These things excite me. Makes me think about every problem I have ever solved. Drives me to think from a multitude of perspectives in the future.3 -
Repeater + Android 4.2.2 + Android web server
Hey guys
I have a stupid problem.. Mas that is the opposite of everyone else (so no Google can help me)
I want my android phone (my personal server) to connect directly to the router, and never to the repeater (the port 80 is blocked this way)
How can I do this magic?
Thanks11 -
>= rant
While its really hard to get code wrong in Rust, it is also really hard to get code right in Rust. It took me a considerably long time to write a code which returns the first word in the sentence
I felt the borrow checker introduces a steep learning curve into Rust which is otherwise a beautiful language according to me. C++, my current favorite language, also suffers the same problem with respect to certain language features.
3 -
For me the most frustrating thing about working on someone elses project, is when you try something and it just does not work, you dont even know the code to try think about what the problem might be to begin with. What about you guys ?
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Would love to share my experience with tutorial hell.
A year ago, if there is no tutorial teaching me how to do something, I am totally lost and stuck for days. Then, I decided to see how people got out of it.
The answer turned to be simple, get comfortable reading documentation AFTER you determine what you are trying to accomplish.
In other words:
1- Determine the problem and the desired end result.
2- Break the problem down into multiple smaller ones.
3- Determine the end result of the solution of each of those problems.
4- Read the documentation concerning what you need to use to solve each problem.
5- Execute.
Over time, you would find the need for a tutorial much less in order to solve a problem. Plus, documentation would ideally give the optimal solution for your problem.
Would still be cool if you find a tutorial explaining something hard to grasp, but never depend on finding one.2 -
Story about someone elses rant
A = coworker;
B = random guy from company, but from another office;
C = manager we like a lot, cause he has IT background;
A asked B about a problem, because B worked with the that thing. B answered I dont know. So A asked C, and told him, im asking you, because B said, he dont know. C went nuts and pulled a shitstorm on B, like who WTF do you think you are, that you cant give at least a hint to A on the problem or Cc someone who may know more about the problem.
what i wanna say is, shouldnt it be common sence if someone asks me about a problem i navigate him to a person, who knows more than me? Even if its the first day i the office, I know this is my team leader he should see the bigger picture of the problem, so ask him. But telling idk is like, go fuck your self. -
I am working on a task given to me by a huge company to test my skill.
I am applying for a junior position.
I am doing it by myself of course but I googled a bit and the problem is called job shop scheduling or multiprocessor scheduling (not sure which one it actually is).
The topic is a bit altered (logistics) but it stil is the same problem.
I am really close to the solution.
The testcases they provided all work but I came up with some that don't.
Do you think this problem is appropiate for a junior (either of those)? -
it works on my machine. this is quite disappointing and keeps me from trying to solve the problem from home.
i was even psychologically prepared to ask on stackoverflow, but now i'll have to wait until returning back to work...5 -
Me ( solves a problem on Hackerrank)
If it's showing error :- Hell Why the fuck it isn't working ? 😑
If it works perfectly :- Hell, How the fuck it is working ?😼2 -
Can someone explain me how a global discriptor table is implemented in a kernel? My problem is basicly that I want to build a kernel that can run seperate programs in userland. But I don't quite understand how the GDT and LDT should be implemented.1
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Why is programming life so terrible and shit. I don't mean I hate it, but it gets me FUCKING mad sometimes. I was writing a post full of "fuck" and "shit" words about vuejs error which has stucked with me for about 3 days and before posting it, my problem got solved. for the love of god... WHAT THE FUCK2
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Deep learning. Working on an image classification problem for a big company. The "boss" ask me to teach an AI to classify images into a few classes.
"Mmm, ok...I just need to create the dataset and then build the AI...so.."
Where is the problem??
The problem is that the classes are so perfectly similar that no one knows how to help me create the dataset and I have to do it alone.
That's how you spend your weeks in a loop where you look at thousands of images over and over just to have something decent start your work.
After that I felt like...
"I'm the hero they deserves, but not the one they need right now" - Cit2 -
Trying to build a ros workspace inside VMware...
Called up the teammate who put it together:
Me: hey the workspace isn't building for me, do I need to setup anything before I type "make"?
Him: nah dude just type make and ur good, why what error are you getting?
Me: *describes error*
Him: oh lol I never got that error before, idk maybe your machine is just dumb
Me: *uh ok sure dude* let me try some other stuff
*Boots to native install of Ubuntu*
*Build successful*
Me: oh huh that's weird it built on my native installation but not on the VM
Him: oh lol that's not my problem
Seriously dude? First off, screw you Ros for not being able to build in a VM. Secondly, it's entirely your problem! Linux is nice to use, sure, but it's a bit of a problem when the entire team runs off Mac!
😲😲😲😣😥😫😓 -
The easiest way for me to get unstuck when writing a program is usually to talk to someone in the business about my problem. If I can explain what I am doing to someone else it helps me better understand where I might be going wrong. It especially helps if I am speaking to someone who is not technical because I have to explain everything without glazing over the general coding stuff.
I am sure it bores the hell out of them though.1 -
Do people not know how to use a search engine? A mate of mine is trying to upgrade to sierra but his having a problem, so he calls me. He describes the problem over the phone, I quickly type into Google the salient points and get presented with some possible remedies. I then tell him over the phone. I'll just let him believe that I know everything shall I?1
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A bug in legacy code (java jsf....).
The dev, architect now, who build the app :
"Yes this is simple, the problem comes from the business logic in the .jsp..."
A bit later
"No, your patch does not suit me, you mix two different concepts"1 -
Biggest distraction is a cool idea popping in my head, or someone telling me they have a problem that would be easy for me to solve.
I have to resist the urge to jump right in and build a solution.
In that sense, I am my own biggest programming distraction.1 -
Dear genie, make me take more notes. My brain is overconfident and thinks (hah) it can do/remember more than 1 thing at once. It's just a whole lotta "Hey, this is the solution to your problem! Also, look at that butterfly! By the way, I have no idea what the solution could be."4
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God damnit.
It's about my freaking PC, again...
(If you still don't know what I'm talking about: https://devrant.io/rants/889384/ )
Well then.
I have not ranted about this until now because I was trying to fix it on my own... but since I'm now desperate to get it fixed, I'll say it here too... please help me, I'll give you cookies or virtual hugs or something ;-;
The problem is... my audio driver doesn't work. I tried to update it (from Realtek's website), but... after installing the new version of the driver, it asks me to restart my PC, I do that, and then... nothing happens, the problem remains.
The audio icon on Windows' application bar says no audio devices are connected, which isn't true as it should notice the PC's native speakers, or my headphones, but it freaking doesn't.
As a musician, this for me is a problem...14 -
So I'm here after a long break coz my life is shit all over again, and only devRant allows me to rant officially.
I was selected by a recruiter visiting our college in very early days of the campus placements, September last year,
Problem 1:
I wasn't allowed to sit in any of the other recruitment drives by the college, even when I didn't really like the job profile I was in
Problem 2:
The company is taking 12 tests and wants me to work on 3 Projects of bootstrap, rails, and react each, before they give me joining.
Here I am working like an asshole with all frustrations after my college got over to finish the tasks without a penny.
This frustration is only causing more and more delay in my work. -
Me: I found the problem. The function call is being given a reference to an undefined variable as an argument. The quotes around that argument were accidentally omitted; it's supposed to be a string.
A "Senior" Developer: No, that wouldn't cause it break.
Me: 😐3 -
For solving a problem I document everything. From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep, I want to have written out the problem in full and everything I have tried to get to a solution. I can then share this info with people around me which expedites the process and gives me new ideas I didn't have before. When I really hit a wall the goal for me is keeping myself DRY and knowing what I've tried and haven't tried.1
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Took me way too long to realise what the (annoyingly simple) solution to the problem I was having was.
This is the problem with derailed projects that just feels never ending, you get stupid after a while.
God I hope I can finish this shit up this weekend. I'm so done with this project. -
Today I had a problem with an app for table reservations. It gave me a strange error. A friend of mine is working on that app and I directly called him to resolve the issue. Boss of all bosses.1
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The amount of time I spend fixing npm dependency issues is really tilting... How does the JS community consider this solving a problem! This reminds me of Java's package issues if anything...1
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This feeling when you're fighting with an issue for few days and accidentaly find out the problem is caused by a dependency of the library you're using... And someone reported it already few weeks ago... Just kill me.
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Yesterday i went to see a therapist ( i am a javascript developer). The therapist asked me what the problem was and i said i had to learn a new tech stack every 3 months. He then told me he was a php developer .....
Therapy works guys! no cap
P.S- This joke is stolen from the oldest book possible ( yes! as old as php)2 -
PM: We need to add "Under Contract" banners dynamically to listings on xyz.com
Me: No problem
[ ... a few minutes later ... ]
Me: xyz.com has been updated. Check out the listings and let me know if anything is out of place.
PM: The updates you made look great! How does this scale (in the most basic sense of the word; i.e. in the viewport) on abc.com.
Me: ? òįÓ ? ... that's a completely different site ... why would it affect it if you didn't ask for it. -
So my friends started a group where we would discuss programming problems. Since I've solved quite a few they wanted me to help them out. And I sent them a problem from Euler's. Immediately after 2-3 minutes I get a link in the group which is the solution to that problem.
I replied "thanks I didn't know the solutions to popular problems were on Google"
He could've learnt in Google itself then 😑😑😑😑😑😑😑 -
My boss always tells me to document everything. The problem is that I don't know where, because she tells me something else every time I ask her.
The best part is that now there are like three word documents and two excel files for one project flying around four different storage-systems.
And I am the idiot who can't document if she is unable to find the files she's looking for. Even I don't know where my files went because she moves them around like she pleases!2 -
Is anybody else bothered by Slack? The way they handle account management and channels bothers me. It solved a problem that didn't exist, and now it has become this ecosystem so many people/organizations are over reliant on.
I feel like AIM had better features in the early 00's.1 -
Here is my problem. The team I'm on has developers from other areas that were "put" into a new team. Two use "structured programming" but the requirements make me think we need "domain driven design". How in the world can I get them to evolve into another mindset while still meeting the deadline?1
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AI is good at helping you solve the variable naming problem
ooo
yeah, daddy, give me some of that intuitive pseudo-neuron correlation power3 -
What is the point of archiving posts on Reddit? I often find a post describing a problem which happens for me, but the problem was reported about 1 year ago and the post got archived, so I have no way to complain about it because archived post is read-only. So sad6
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For me, developing phone networks, the Client only interacts with me as the front end. If there is a problem with an upstream provider/carrier, the client doesn't know that and we take the brunt of the complaints.
So, what really sucks is when there is a lack of control. -
Me and my study group have been developing a system for a company the last semester, but the system isn't done at the end of the semester (which is fine) and the company have mentioned that they want to pay us to finish the system.
The problem is that we have a very little knowledge about how much time it is going to take.
So what are we gonna say? It's pretty hard to calculate a price and estimate any time frame2 -
Ok guys ... real talk ... I've been stuck on a problem for over a month! The thing is that the problem and implementation is too specific for stack overflow. I've tried everything that I can think of and it's actually keeping me up at night! What do you guys do when you hit a brick wall?8
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I have no problem reading constructive criticism of systemd. It has its problems. However, sometimes those critics try to claim that init run levels, or rc scripts, with their arbitrary meaning and the Bourne shell's ad hoc syntax, are a perfectly acceptable solution to the problem that don't need replacing.
I've never seen an OS startup mechanism that tells me, while the system is up, "the change you just made will make it impossible to bring the OS up if you restart it". And that's a real problem.1 -
I'm trying my first withdraw. I requested at 7/7/2020. Freelancer.com says I'll receive my money on 23-24 July. Today is the 24th of July and now it shows I'll receive money on 9-10 July. But 9-10 July has been gone. Can anybody tell me what is the problem and what's going on?
6 -
Learn enough math to solve the problem Chat GPT (and two university math professors) have been unable to solve :(
The hardware is ready, the software is ready, and the only missing piece is to align a laser pointer with a Lambert's conformal conic projected map... I thought Chat GPT would be able to at least provide me with the necessary formulæ, but not...6 -
I just had a discussion with a customer a week ago. He tould me that the PDF Files we are having in our application are not showing Up.
Connected to his computer to look at the problem just to find out That Google Chrome is blocking the popup. I tell him the problem and once He allows it to open it wont happen again.
Customer: I dont want That it also happens to my customers and they dont know that either. Just fix it and call me back" I try to explain him That we cant just change thr behaviour of the Browser but He already hung Up.
Well i guess we are going to buy Google the next week to change his Problem xD2 -
Got an idea for a game, started learning Godot engine to make it myself. usually the hard part for me is the graphics, but this time I just couldn't get it past the tutorial phase, so I switched to Phaser.js, the same problem there... then Pygame, and Godot again, and so on...
I usually love the coding part, I don't know what was the problem this time, It could be the fact that I switched from 2560x1080(Windows desktop) to 1366x768(Debian laptop)... Got any comments that may help? -
So...about companies having way to big expectations on their job ads descriptions: Me being the new guy in all of this, of course I'm looking for more informations on the field everywhere. One day I came across a video on youtube posted by Eli the Computer Guy, and he was describing (caricaturing) this exact problem. You should look it up.
I'm not sure if he himself is a valuable source/resource of knowledge, but it did help me to understand this problem to some extent.
Hope it helps you too.6 -
I have a platform idea, I need feedback
Problem statement: it’s hard to find researchers of specific area, which discourages students to even start looking for research opportunities. The reason for that is because people often look into their own academic circle, and the resource available is simply not enough.
Solution: by scraping Google scholar, generate detailed tag of sub areas for each professors, make a search system for that which will display the most important works of a researcher and what they are working on recently. If possible, invite the researchers to use the platform to add tags of traits they are looking for in students.
I have quite polarized feedback right now, one is the subarea tagging is really useful and academic circle is a problem, other is this is completely useless.
Please let me know what you think.4 -
When you start doing cp / noob at it:
Thoughts in my mind
- spending hrs to solve the problem
- should I see the solution. No no how can I build the logic then?
- think try
- told my friend,
He: oh tell me the problem
(After seeing the problem stmt)
5-10 mins scribbling with code
He: There you go it's that simple
Me: really! This is easy. But why I was not able to solve then :|8 -
VS Exception Display is full badfor me now.
I had a query problem in my code, and the only exception displayed by VS was one that don't help that much.
But there were two exceptions messages to display. Fortunatly the front-page displayed the full stack, else I'd have no clue of what was going on. -
what options do i have left if google merchant licence is not avaible in my country?
anyone facing the same problem as me?3 -
Worst recruiter experience...
Found out RHT took 40% of what the company was paying me. In combination with the unfair company who ended up hiring me, the problem is...you start low and you stay low, hard to move your wage up! 🙄😌😥 -
Twitter api restricts me to fetch only 3202 tweets and if I had to fetch the retweeters count is limited to 100 .. is there any open source which will help me get through this problem because the data being collected is not sufficient for analysis
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I don't know if it's the lack of knowledge or just always being distracted, I try to debug and after wasting half an hour I realize the problem is that I forgot to call the function. Every time! What's wrong with me?
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So, I did the silly and tried Freelancer.com. The chat is really fucking buggy, my client has paid me but I can't see the payment in my account, and their live chat system has a timestamping problem that means you can't actually ask for help. What do I do? The money in there was ideally supposed to pay my bills this month...2
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Hello, instead of my usual nihilistic fuckery, I actually have a question that you guys may be able to answer.
When uploading images in Chrome this morning I got the two prompts pictured below. One is in google voice, the other is in gmail. I searched online for answers but oddly enough there is nothing satisfactory.
The promp is 'upload failed server rejected.' This problem goes back as far as 2012, but today it happened to me for the first time. Thank you
3 -
Management wants me to write e2e tests instead of unit tests. The problem is there are e2e but not a single unit test... I plan on refusing.
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So my coworker asked for help with his work. I understand that sometimes talking about the problem with someone else will help solve the problem, but seriously, don't ask me "How do I fix this?". If you wanted me to help you fix something, go to lunch and let me work on it for a couple of hours. I can't fix something by telling you what to do. I need time to look into the problem myself, do research, and run tests on my own. Telling to do that over your shoulder is a complete waste of our time.
Also, his attitude of complete helplessness is tiring. It's hard to help someone who continually reminds you of how much he just wants to give up.2 -
Today my coisinhas asked me to remove a ad virus from her computer and the bad thing este is that is at programming at fu***** university and it is even worst when she sad that none of her friends could fix the fu***** problem!!! I just did it in 5 min by searchin in the web!!!!4
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Am I the only who's having trouble with the devRant app. Before anyone says to me to send an email about the bugs I've been having, I already did.
I don't know why but sense the last update I'm just finding bug after bug. Is anyone having problem with the app or is it just me?4 -
Android class later :) the problem is i only have 4 gig of ram for my computer, anyone willing to donate? Poor country, poor computer science student, poor me. But still goin,no excuses!!! ;D4
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Gonna start a tech blog next month. My problem is that I can't think of an interesting subject that can get me followers in the middle of this huge number of tech blogs. Any ideas would be very very appreciated. Thank you
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Update of previous post
I just got assigned to a project.
Project-specific training is designed to take up to 20 days.
I got materials, videos, and a person who is in this project for a long time to supervise training and introduce me to the project.
Only problem is that the project apparently uses 5 years old version of base framework. -
One way I socialize is with walks during work.
Luckily at work we are able to take a good 2-3 15 minute walks a day.
Really helps with the roadblocks and allows me to talk about movies/games/whatever.
Problem is it’s been so hot... so now we always aim for the shade. -
See the problem is not going the same places, the problem is THEY do the same stupid shit everywhere half the time.
The other problem is their past thieving.
I'd have been out of their hair along time ago if they just kept me employed somewhere I didn't see their awful people and would stop trying to be out and proud chomo faggots which has obviously ended pretty tragically for a great many of them. So far as I can tell.
Seriously they're likely making themselves more crazy than they are people like us.
Put it this way, many times i would not have remembered what all they've done.
second if they'd not interfered my happier times would be at the top of my mind, women wine and song and total ignorance of the rest of this. -
Stark Industries is very huge, innovative and owned by The Ironman.
But there are no man who tell him that let me Restart the system and problem will be fixed.
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Surely to God there is a way to write simple code on an Android 10 phone without a computer. My Moto G7 Super has 3GB RAM and 8 processors.
The UI will suck but shoot me already as I can't use a computer right now. The major problem is file access as the languages I have used are run in the cloud.
Any advice is welcome. At this point am agnostic re language.
Any suggestions?4 -
I got some problem. I work on some company maintaining web application. Every time I add some feature I often accidentally break other features. I read about testing (unit test, integration testing, etc) and ask my project manager and CTO to implement test on our web application but they refused it. The reason is because the web application is already large and it will take a long time to implement. Actually maintain this application is very stressful because it takes along time to add new feature and every time I break something either CEO or Client will scold me. Do you guys have idea/solution to solve this problem?1
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