School time, programming class:
Girl: Hey, Can you help me?
Me: Sure, what's up?
G: I have an error but I don't know why
M: *looks at error stack trace* You're missing a semicolon in line 133 *puts comma, run... 27 more errors* Well, you have more issues up there, why don't you try to fix them?
G: Oh, Ok, thanks
-- 1 hour later --
G: Hey, can you come? I already fixed the other issues but I still have one I can't fix
M: *checks code, same mistake I fixed, missing semicolon, same line* Why did you erase the semicolon?
G: Oh, because if I erase it, I only have 1 error, but if I leave it, I have 27 so....
M: *turn around, walk away*

Ranted about that porn work prank.

Forgot a joke the senior linux engineer pulled with me.

I came back from the toilet and sat down. Logged in. Cursor was on the left screen. Looked away and then back. Cursor was on the right screen.

*wait what? hmm must be my memory.*
*looks away and turns back*
*wait did that cursor just move.....?*
*damn what's up with me...?!?*
*turns around and looks back VERY quickly*
*cursor moves all over the screen*

*looks at front usb inputs*
*notices a wireless receiver*

*laughing from the corner where the senior linux engineer is sitting*

MOTHERFUCKER.

*Trying to finish up this project I'm doing*

Me: "Fuck this shit I'm done shit doesn't work"

*non-dev girlfriend sits in front of computer*

GF: "I believe this line shouldn't be here it messes up what happens in the loop. Or atleast that's what it looks"

*checking it*

Me: "So what's your ring size again"

Client: I love the site and will sign your contract today. I'll even give you a bonus since you got it done early. Can you put it up there this evening?

Me: I'm so glad that you liked it. I'll bring a condom with me all filled out and ready to go so we can push it up there.

Me: Contract. Damned phone

Client: please leave the condom at home

What's your worst autocorrect with a client?

Lenovo, what's up

A friend of mine is heavily into java. Like seriously... programming teachers at our school ask him for help.
Everytime he gets drunk he starts saying the weirdest things like "DUDE what's your alpha value I can hardly see you".
He greets me with "What's up socket boy" and after throwing up he thinks about the best ways to sort the data. (his vomit)

Has anyone else had such experiences? I want to hear some funny stories! :D

Jesus fucking christ, entering w3schools.com (don't ask) and I immediately get a cookie consent thing shoved in my face.

WHY?! Please don't tell me it's so I can get the 'best experience' because that's straight out bullshit. I don't need cookies and you fucking name it to get 'the best fucking experience' while looking up again how that one PHP or HTML or CSS or WHAT-THE-FUCK-EVER thing worked.

E-v-e-r-y GODDAMN site has this nowadays, to 'improve my experience' - I block ads anyways so what's the motherfucking point?!

Mother of FUCKING god.

alskdjaioethsdjlkjrfoikmedr

We have a couple of magazines on the lunch table at work.

There was a paper cloth covering one magazine and one of the Linux engineers lifted it up. This is how it went:

LE: (Linux Engineer) hmm what's under here...? *picks up the cloth*

*a windows magazine appears*

LE: (while putting the cloth back) ew windows, let's keep you hidden!

*other engineers laughing*

My PC when I use it: "..."

My PC when I look at something on my phone: *gentle fan hum*

My PC when I resume activity : "..."

My PC, 5 minutes after leaving it: **VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV**

** sits down, still big fan blowing, open up the task manager to see what's bugging the system **

** PC calms down **

I have an overly attached PC?

I have this one major pet peeve - getting interrupted on any messenger by "hey".

Q: Hey
A: Hey, what's up?

-minutes pass, I try to resume work-

Q: Do you have a second?
A: Sure, what's up?

-minutes pass, I try to resume work... Again-

Q: Do you know anything about #feature#?
A: Yeah, I wrote most of it, what do you need?

-minutes pass, I try to resume work... AGAIN-

(goes on same pattern, takes half an hour for a 10 second question/answer)

Like... Come on!!! Don't do this to me

I get it, I like to be cordial and friendly - but there is absolutely nothing stopping you from getting your message across without making me have to go back and forth (interrupting my work).

Co-worker: Hey man, what's up with your code?

Me: What do you mean bro?

Co-worker: It's generic man...

Me: Isn't it supposed to be like that?

Co-worker: Yeah...

Me: ... so what's this about?

Co-worker: hmmm... Mine is kinda specific, do you mind changing it so that it can work well with mine??

Me: That's why I made it generic though

Co-worker: yeah I see that and I dnt want mine to be and we have a deadline tomorrow. I already pushed mine to develop so, happy fun-time while modifying your code to accommodate mine...

Me: *fuuxuuuuuuuuuuuux*

Banksy knows what's up

That moment when you've been sat on the toilet reading devRant so long that your legs have gone dead so when you try to stand up you faceplant the opposite wall :-/

devRant is bad for my health !

EDIT: what's more embarrassing is I lay on the floor writing this rant.

Colleague (lets call him john) does this sometimes at the moments you least expect it, funny as hell:

random colleague: *walks towards john* hey john, do you have a second?
John: *face turns dead serious/scared* h-h-how do you know my name? 😶
Colleague: hahaha, nice try, I've got this server issu...
John: Who are you? Get away from me 😶
*everyone laughing*
*johns face turns normal again*
John: what's up mate? *biggest goddamn smile ever*

So I got a call from a school friend today.

I'm currently doing majors in Computer science and I hadn't talked to her since high school.

She: "Hi! How are you?"
Me: "Hey, I'm great! How are you?"

It's really difficult to talk to someone after 2-3 years, considering you didn't talk much in school also.

She: "I'm great too!"
Me: "So what's up?"

She: "Listen, my friend lost her iPhone today. Cab you help us in retrieving it?"

Me: *hangs up*

Internet: YOU are nothing without me.

My phone: Th..That's not true! She cc..can make calls ww..ithout you...and ss...send texts. Sh..Sh..She plays offf..offline games sometimes and has ddd..downloaded music to her storage that she could llii.. listen to and has a sshh..shit load of memes stocked that she sss..sometimes laughs at. I AM usef...ffuul :-/

Internet *lighting up a cigarette*: hahhaa! You can survive without me. If this were 10 YEARS ago! There's not a slightest chance, today.

My phone *starts sobbing*: sh..shut up sshhhuut uu..up.

Internet *blowing smoke rings*: you think you're the ONLY device she owns?? She has too many of them, but guess who is connected to all those devices! ME! She can't function without me. Hell, the world can't function without ME!

Electricity *rubbing it's eyes from sleep* - what's all that noise??

Phone: 😶

Internet: 😶

Phone: 🙂

(I'm about to fall asleep and there's no power right now. Back up ain't working. Life sucks)

I need to stop reading devRant posts on the train and in public in general. These rants be cracking me up too much. Most awkward when you try to explain to someone who cares to know what's so funny and you know they can't relate so you're just sitting like.....

Me: So, I've been looking through the code and there's barely any comments and documentation. What's up with that?

Him: Yeah, it's really complex and low level, so it's difficult to actually describe what it does.

Me: But that's exactly why you should document it! 🤦🤦🤦

Him: ...

Client: "Hey we want you to integrate your product with our system."
Me: "Oh, OK. Where's your API?"
Client: "Here! We even have an outdated .Net SDK, we use XML."
Me: "Ok.. how do we authenticate? What's your OAuth 2.0 endpoint?"
Client: "O auth what?"
Me: " You know, the current standard for REST API authentication and authorisation"
Client: " What's REST?"
*Hungs up*

Me to my partner: "I want to tell you something."

Partner: "What's up?"

Me: "I require(you);"

This one hits home a bit.

So my friend from my first college hits me up, asks about what's going on and shit. It's all chill, we took a bunch of programming classes together, so it we weren't intimate friends just kinda familiar with each other. He says he's having trouble finding work, they all turn him down due to a lack of experience. I suggest we work on a project together. Anything. He thinks it's a good idea and we plan to meet up.

We meet up, long story short decided on an Android app. I failed setting up git but whatever, I'll fix it at home. He seems excited, I'm excited...

...Never heard back from him again. Won't answer texts, Skype, anything.

>>signs up for GitHub student pack
>>Approved almost instantly
>>Looks at what's included
>>See a .me domain from namecheap is free
>>"yo that's lit. Lemme see if they have one I want"
>>Finds domain
>>"Good shit man. I'll finally have a reason to make my own website"
>>Go to checkout
>>Asks for school email address
>>Enters address
>>"it seems your University is not included in this."
>>Fuck me man

(overheard colleagues)
"hey, client x wants to speak to you, can I put them through?"

"what's it it about?"

*mumbles something*

"dafuq?! Oh well, put him through already 😑"

Me: hey, what did he want?

Colleague: they wanted help with setting up a page on their site with a maintenance message for when their site goes down.

Me: ah righ.... wait what? What's the function of a maintenance page on a site if the entire site is down?!

Colleague: yeah, that 🤣

Well, okay, then 😶

after hours of debugging your program without any luck...
wife(never programmed a day in her life): what's up?
me: I can't figure out why this program won't work
wife: oh! you're probably missing a semi-colon somewhere

Coworker: I give up! Please help me!

Me: What's up?

C: Take a look at this. I have this function here that gets the tab index and I'm passing it to the Tabs component over there. I'm logging the index and as you can see it's 3, but the Tabs component isn't working. However if I replace the function call with a 3 it works!

Coworker 2: While you were explaining all that, shellbug already thought about at least 3 reasons why that isn't working.

Me: **sighs** Of what type is the value that function is returning?

C: **stares at me for a few seconds** It's a number.

Me: Are you sure?

C: Well, it's returning 3.

Me: Please do a typeof.

It was string.

I'm having low motivation these days.. waking up, showering, breakfasting, and already do I want to get back to sleep.. even extra caffeine doesn't seem to help anymore... What's wrong with me? ._.

When one of your staff members asks "what's a file path?" It's times like these that I am ever so grateful that @dfox hooked me up with a squishy ball.

Working at best buy (don't remember if I was geek squad yet or not).
"hi sir, that line hasn't moved in a while, I was headed up to help, but let me ring you up here so you can get on with your day."
"thanks!"
...random talking leads to graduation and what's next...
"my friend works at *company* and seems to really like it. I gave him my resume when he asked, but i guess is boss can't hire anymore people or something, so I'm applying other places. It's been about a year."
"oh. Hi. I'm boss. Send resume again"

First tor relay is up and running. Works well, all good.

Want a faster one as well (nearly 1gbs) and trying to set it up but the control port won't get its fucking ass up. No clue what's going wrong :/

Probably missing something but idk what.

Grrrrrr.

Teacher : What's 1+6 ?
Some kid : it's 7

Fan boy: Shut the fuck up kid.It's still 6.. It's Oneplus 6.

Lets get to know eachother, shall we..?

It's come to my attention that all we do is either rant, or post memes! Lets talk! D;

What's your favorite programming language?

How about spoken/written language?

Favorite band?

Song?

Do you sit or stand while working?

What's the last four digits of your SSN? Haha, jk..

What are you passonate about?

What projects (programming or otherwise) have you started/picked up/finished lately?

What else do you want to share?

Answer as many as you'd like~

C: hey mate, what's the best tool to open up this 31.1M rows x 106 cols CSV file?

M: Umh...Pandas DataFrame or R DataTable I guess?

C: all right, Excell will do, thanks!

M: erhm...yeah, anytime?

Me: I've been using ubuntu with i3 for 6 months. Is awesome. Everything works great.
Brain: Have you seen debian or arch linux. They're better than ubuntu. Just try' em
Me: Brain shut up. I don't have time to reinstall everything + I'll 100% fuck my pc up. I'll do it another time.
Brain: Trust me. I know what's better for you. Try it now
Me: No.
Brain: Pleeeeease.
Me: Ok fine.
Me: Now windows doesn't work, debian doesn't work. I need to format my hard drive and do this shit all over again.
Brain: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Hey. Install arch linux.

Worst error message management.

Can't you just display the valid pattern for an username instead of showing different error message everytime.

If plain ASCII and only letters and numbers same for them, just show only letters and numbers, and
what's that hourly limit.
I just couldn't sign up after wasting time thinking of an username.

Me: ok, we're 4 days from launch, here's the most up-to-date version of the app, and here's what's been added since yesterday.
Client: ok, looking good, still needs a little more here and here.
Me: yes we've made note of that an-
Client: oh ya, and that thing that's been in there since day 1, take that out.
Me: oh, ok, we're gonna need so-
Client: and that thing we specifically asked for, take that out too.
Me: that's fine bu-
Client: oh, and add a fucking Christmas wreath for them to jump through.

What's up with guys and girls using the 'def' word? It's like they're speaking Python.

guy: "sup babe. Wanna grab coffee later?"
girl: "def baby"

What's your favorite shell alias that you made for yourself?

I use this one all the time:

squash () {
git rebase -i HEAD~${1}
}

Runner up though is `git-fuckit` which resets everything to origin/master.

Privacy.

I have an Amazon Echo.
I've enabled Hey, Siri.
I've given Google the OK.
I don't tape my web cam.

And I find it highly amusing that someone has potentially seen my fat, hairy ass strut naked about my home office while singing "What's up" at the top of my lungs. Perhaps multiple times.

Should I feel bad? That I may have cost the American taxpayer money in the therapy required to rehabilitate those FBI or NSA agents that have witnessed me in my full glory?

From a co-worker:
That feeling of fear, when you gave your girlfriend the password to your PC, and after a few days she asks you "what's up with that 'sudo' thingy you type in all the time?"...

Me: ya hi, we integrated with your API and I'm receiving error x
Provider: ok we'll disable validation, plz check
Me: ya it works, what's the problem? I used a GUID for id and I'm sure it's unique, here is URL and request body
Provider: you have something wrong in your implementation. Fix it and it will work
Me: aaand what's the wrong part of my implementation?
Provider: id is not unique, fix it. *Hangs up*

I sometimes sit and wonder, how and why does this kind of people get hired, FOR FUCK SAKE YOU ARE THE PROVIDER AND YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG!
fucking useless ...

To the guy who shits religiously at 2pm everyday and leaves the door open, making me have to stand up to put an end to the foul smell:

alert("FUCK YOU");

And what's most disturbing is that I've grown accustomed to his shit's smell.
Shit.

Person: So what do you do for a living..
Me: (here we go)... I am an information security analyst working in an incident response team for x company. I do log collection and manage a large scale correlation engine.
Person: Oh, so are you super smart or something? (Blinks her eyes and continues with blank stare)
Me: Uh... Smart enough I guess.
Person: Can you hack things like a hacker.
Me: That really isn't my job...
Person: What's your job again?
Me: Computer guy
(She lights up)
Person: Why didn't you just say that? I can understand that.

Yeah... I seem to have painful conversations like this often.

Client: why do I have to use such a hard password for this website?

Me: For security reasons to protect your content and identity of your clients.

Client: Can't you just use the password that I'm used to? I use it on my banking software, and I've never been hacked so it should be good enough for you!

Me: what's the password that you want me to set up for you?

Client: you ready to take it down?

Me: go ahead.

Client: T ... U ... R ... D. You got that?

Me: ... Yes ...

*sigh*

Best co-worker quitting story?

"T" I've refereed to in previous rants knew he was close to being fired, so he jumped ship. 'T' sent the usual "I'll miss you guys" email to the department, except me (and a few others that didn't fall for his BS and not scared of him). His mistake was he sent the email out a day early (buddy forwarded me the email) and left the stuff (box of pics, books, etc) he planned on taking with him. One item in particular was a new company provided laptop bag, which technically wasn't his to keep (supposed to leave/turn-in any company provided equipment), so I grabbed the bag and hid it.

The next day I heard him slamming drawers (looking for the bag) and a loud cursing. Other devs peeking over the walls asking what's wrong.

Dev1: "Dude, what's up? Whatcha' looking for?"
T: "Nothing...fuck!...damn it...nothing...assholes...fucking assholes!"
Dev2: "Who's the ass? What's wrong?"
Dev3: "Need help looking for something?"
T: "No..no...nothing...I'm fine...making sure I don't forget anything."

'T' never found out who took the bag and I've had that laptop bag underneath my desk ever since.

I brushed my teeth and went to bed at 10, opened up youtube and just chilled out,
boss calls me up at 11 I'm like, nah fam tomorrow...
Calls again and again and again, calling for the 6 time on 2 numbers!?
(M8 can't u see I'm out)
Then he texts me, bro, it's urgent!
I decide to call him up.
Boss: hey dude
Me: hey (trying to not get triggered)
Me: so what's so urgent?
Boss: OK so 2 things, I will email all of our job applicants on August 28, 2: are you available tomorrow?
Me: ( LITERALLY GOT TRIGGERED AS FUCK, THOUGHT WE HAD A DICK PICTURE ON OUR SITE OR HOSTINGER DECIDED TO BILL 2 TIMES)
ME: 👏Dude, this is so urgent? R u kidding me???? Am I available tomorrow and you will email are job applicants on August 28????

Ffs I swear

Yeah Apple, fuck up your SECOND Xcode release in a SINGLE WEEK and make me download ANOTHER 7 GIGABYTES (I've grown up with a 2.4 KBITS/S modem!) for what's probably a ONE-LINER FIX in your bloated SHIT!

Lol squirrel girl knows what's up.

Y'all need to chill!

**DO NOT** downvote a newbie's post without telling them why. It may sound like a spam to you, but it's someone's best effort at an icebreaker joke. 😠

I rewrote my resume. It is getting shorter and shorter. Scary.

But I was thinking, that during interviews, I never get to ask the important questions. Like, I do need to ask a few things that are important for me. Those that are not written in their websites, and they will do their best to hide.

So I came up with a list of questions:

1. Do you pay for overtime work? what is the basis of pay? hours or work-module? how realistic are the work-modules?
2. Have you ever had issues with employees from minority groups?
3. How do you address employee's professional concerns? for example, about technological debt.
4. what's the policy for meeting and daily interruptions during brain-work? Are people ever forced to participate in meetings that could be summed up in emails? what's the company policy for initiating a meeting?
5. Who designs the software? Are the requirements always non-negotiable? do the direct developers have a say in design matters?
6. How close are job requirements (as advertised) to actual tasks I need to perform?
7. What's the company policy for motivating the employees?
8. How does the company deal with mental health issues? is it acceptable for people to take leaves due to mental health issues? Has anyone ever done it?
9. How does the company deal with individual needs for working methods and space? Specifically, how does that apply to meetings? Do you have company-wide meetings? How often are they? What's the impact on productivity? Can employees not participate? Do they have to have an excuse to not participate?
10. Do developers get to develop their skills during worktime often? Or is it a "do it in your own free time" kind of thing? Are there any resources available to those who want to develop their skills further? Is it included in the career planning and employee performance review?
11. Assume I work for your company for a year. What are the benefits I can potentially gain in a year from working here, aside from adding a line of work experience to my resume?
12. Does the company provide any form of free feminine hygiene products in the bathroom?

Any questions I should add?

Ah, the awkward moment when you're told to join a conference call to "just listen in the background so you know what's going on"

...and then no-one else from your company turns up, so you're stuck trying to appease a client while having absolutely no idea what's going on...

The way this job search is going, I think I'm gonna become a barista instead.

Recently I fucked up my laptop's rootfs USB stick again by tugging on it with some wire.. I think it got detached during runtime. Doesn't boot anymore.

So I attached it to my server to chroot into it and see what's wrong..
# cryptsetup luksOpen /dev/sdf2 cryptroot
> Unlocks without errors.
# btrfsck /dev/mapper/cryptroot
> Nothing wrong.
# mount /dev/mapper/cryptroot /mnt
> Mounts just fine.
# chroot /mnt (some other filesystems like /proc, /sys, and /dev were mounted first but meh)
> Enters chroot just fine.
# pacman -Syu
> Upgrades just fine.
# su condor
> Switches user just fine.
$ vim -p some files
> Enters the editor just fine.

Mounted it again to my laptop and try to boot, because it clearly seems like everything is just fine..
> Not gonna boot up. You can unlock your cryptroot and then I'll just fucking stall without saying shit.

MotherFFFFUUUUCCKKKEERRRRRRR!!!!!!! Fuck you HP for making such horrible USB connectors, and fuck you Arch for not giving something more verbose related to the issue, so that I can actually know what's wrong with you, and fucking FIX IT!!! Fucking pieces of junk! Do I really have to build my own PC and build my own LFS, just to have something halfway decent?!

What's up with employers asking to give them a pay expectation? I don't fucking know just tell me how much you are willing to pay for god sake

You know that the mobile ecosystem is completely fucked when you have to open up your device just to do a hard power cycle.. and what for? What's the fucking difference between a connector inside of the device, and one that's outside the device? A couple of cubic millimeters? If it's even that much?

Okay, windows, it's cool that you're getting a dark themed explorer and overall UWP-Fluent Design improvements but...

What's up with this context menu, which has a button saying "close [context] menu"?

(this is made up of screenshots, not a recording - the actual animation is much smoother)

Manager: "hey I'd like everyone to join this global meeting"
I saw about 30 people, something was off, certainly didn't feel global, I felt like I shouldn't be there.

I dug out the original meeting and it's for Lead PMs. Our manager isn't even attending, what's up with that, is he trying to make us take meetings for him?

Someone once told me my manager was an idiot and he confirms it like once a week pulling stuff like that.

Voice commands are the future!!!! .... God I hope not... Why do people like this obviously inferior interface?

A real conversation with Google assistant while driving, I got a text:

"Read text"
...
"Read text message"
*You have one text message from Dave. Would you like to hear it?*
"... Yes!"
* Hey what's up?*
"Reply"
....
"Reply to text"
*I don't understand*
"Text Dave!!!!"
"Message James using SMS. What's the message?"

GAH!!!!!!!! fuck you Google assistant! This is literally the only thing I use you for, so stop being so fucking bad at it!!!!

Me: IE7 sucks and should no more be supported in 2018.
Dev: NO IE7 IS THE BEST BROWSER EVER IN THE UNIVERSE FUCK YOU!!
Same Dev in another Rant: Fuck I hate IE and Microsoft!!!

One question guys: what's up with always trying to find a way to be anti, no matter what? Even if what you defend totally opposes your view. Is this something like a new trend or is this like the new cool now?

At an expensive Apache Spark training class. For hands on portion you use their system. When everyone logged on, their system couldn't handle the load. First they blamed the hotel wifi (even though every other site was running perfectly) and then they blamed AWS. It's clearly an issue with their system. It's ridiculous to not be honest with a room full of developers who know what's up.

When you tell collegue A that you are nominating collegue B for the "Bleep award" (the person that swears alot) and person B overhears some words and comes to see what's up and says.

B: what's happeneing here?
A: we nominating people for awards
B: fuck that shit

I'm actually happy with my vote now

Question in my mind since I woke up.. What's so special about React. :/

I love my relationship with the front end team:

—Hey, you have a minute? I need help with some of the endpoints you've created.
—Sure, what's up?
—Nevermind I figure it out.

Solving problems without effort. That's what I call efficiency.

Just received this today.. They couldn't fit it in the yellow envelope, SO THEY CUT IT UP!!!!!! What's wrong with people!!!!

Jenkins knows what's up

I do IT work along side my dev work. I had a Dr come up to me and ask me if I had time to help him pick out a personal computer... (Mother fucker I am on lunch break) "Sure" I say... "What's your budget, what will you be doing with the computer?" Dr - "I don't mind spending $6,000 and I want it for minor gaming..."

MUST BE FUCKING NICE!

What's up with this "funny" tag that everyone is using with their rant? If your rant is funny then we'll automatically laugh.

Not sure of devRant is broken, or there's really been no rants for an hour 🤔

So what's everyone up to?

Manager 1: "We're going to hold a small meeting because of a new project."

Me: "Okay, cool. What project is it about?"

Manager 1: "Project X".

ME: "Right. What's the domain name?"

Manager 2: "Well there's this design but it's entirely made up. Just a concept."

Manager 1: "Wait, there's no more toner."

Manager 1 and 2 take 20 minutes to fix the printer, so manager 1 can print out an e-mail. They both return to their seats. No meeting happens. I roll a smoke and go outside to flip through LinkedIn for the nth time this week.

Little brother: "Since you're an SE I have a really important question that requires your skills.
Me: Okay what's up? (getting excited for potential project)
Little brother: Can you hack my ex girlfriends Facebook?
Me: *face palm*

Q: What's a "muscle memory"?

A: It's when you open up devRant, skim through several posts, get bored, decide to visit some other website for more stimulation, close the tab with devRant, open a new tab and your hands type in devrant.com [ENTER] before you know it

So I set up push notifications from my Raspberry Pi to my Android phone, to know when exim sent a mail locally.
The easy part was the actual push notifications.
The more tedious part turned out to be looking for a way to send a notification for each mail.
After some research, Procmail seemed to be the only fitting tool to pass info to a command (in order to give the push notification some content so I know what's up)

In the middle of everything, I managed to fuck up exim system-wide, so mails didn't work, which was fucking great of course...

The magic receipt is this:
:0 c
| ${NOTIFY} -t "Pi mail: $SUBJECT"

Anyway, this is the result (using a test mail by mdadm + an actual degraded array I am still waiting on replacement drives for):

Transistor sizes are getting smaller and smaller by the day, though we cannot go below the size of a virus due to compartment limitation but the tiniest is smaller than a DNA.
Having chips designed at such a tiny scale looks more scary to me than amazing. Imagine my manager screaming at me, I can give him a slap on the face and infect him with 1 million A8 chips. Now that would be amazing because I just successfully turned him into an iPhone 6.

Me: Hey Siri, what's the weather now?
Manager: 32 degree Fahrenheit, high wind, low humidity.
Me: Yeah that's what's up, you won't be needing an upgrade anytime soon.

"Hey what's up YouTube..."
"How's it going my name is..."
"What going on guys..."
"I'm sorry I haven't posted a video in a while..."
OR
* 1-minute animation intro*

!dev

I'm a very patient and calm person when it comes to coding or social events and the only thing that "triggers" me is accuracy.

You've made plans to have a small reunion and with people, you hardly meet, once or twice in a year and yet you somehow fail to show at 11:00 am in the morning which was already planned.

Now it's time to call each of you and hear out your ridiculous explanation of how you stayed up late watching Instagram videos of cute kittens and fell asleep late.

> "Oh I just woke up, I'll be there directly there in an hour, I know I promised we'll go together, but I have this thing to deal with"

> "Hey, do you know who reached till there? Are you there yet? What's the plan?" - Bitch the plan was to be there by 11 AM, 11 FUCKING AM.

> "Heyyyy, just woke up, give me an hour I'll pick you up"

Seriously this makes me sad and disappointed because I'm a man of the time. Sometimes I think they do this just to test my patience.

There is not enough time, there never was, there never will be.

With that being said my holiday is ruined and what's up with you?

> inb4 don't let others ruin your holiday

What's your Android set-up?

Manager : This week Monday was national holiday, hence to cover up the delay we will have to work on coming Saturday.
Me : What's the use of having national holiday then?
Manager : It's for recreational purpose.
Me, in my head, WTF!!!

What's a language you were once biased against fanatically, but ended up really enjoying writing with?

What's up with the supporter badge?

Not a rant, need advice

I recently signed an offer with Facebook, today Uber offered me a similar position with much more stock compared to Facebooks offer. What's the right thing to do here?

Should I go back to Facebook and ask them to match? Give up fb and move to uber ?

I HATE automated messages on Slack

Remove fucking GitHub updates, Jira updates, all this stupid bullshit that pollutes actual communication between humans in all that fucking shit and makes me miss actual messages because I ignored a channel where that garbage cancer shit was set up on?

What's wrong with going to fucking Jira and GitHub and checking how things are going THERE?

Day x stand up meeting scheduled for late evening:
Manager: so, what's up?
me: fixed two bugs, analysis going on for another, having a couple of blockers, but nothing out of the ordinary.

Day x + 1 stand up scheduled for morning:
manager: what's up?
me: *repeats pretty much the same stuff, with some updates on the analysis
manager: but this is what you told me yesterday.
me: but there haven't been any working hours between our two conversations.
manager: your efficiency is questionable.

me: *thinking about my happy place with a clenched jaw

Ideas for future weekly question:

- Where will you see yourself in 5 years?
- Do you automate tasks when developing and what kind of automation do you write yourself or use?
- What do you think about hooking up with someone from work?
- What are your thoughts about books in IT?
- How do you make your workplace comfortable?
- How would you change your company if you became the boss today?
- What are your thoughts about the future of computer input devices (kb & mice)?
- What are your prevention measures agains Skynet?
- When will HL3 be released?
- What's the solution to everything?

Windows is working on updates, so - you know - I have a free day. What's up?

I. DON'T. GET. IT!

What's up with the !dev or !rant ?

I feel like a total fail 😭

So last time I said I'm gonna look for a new job.

I just had a discussion with the boss and he is very apologetic and understands my situation and frustration very well. He agreed that they are having a technical dept, so at least he knows what's up and wants to get it finally forever fixed.

Since I wanted to go self employed anyways, we've come up that I only work for them, if there is a reason and real work to do. No more useless backend work for me *pew*.

We will also split my weekly hours from 40 to 20h and increase my hourly wage.

I'm gonna hear back by Monday for the details and legal paperwork.

Wish me luck, feeling positive about this!

As time goes on.. I see my friends, whom I studied programming with, just stop learning new things.
They think, or just behave, like they know everything worth knowing.
You can't talk to them about programming outside of work anymore. They just say that programming is "something you do at work".
I used to look-up to those people, and learn a lot from them. Now, they don't care enough to Google "what's this Rust thing people talk about?".
That really saddens me.

They give you 2 containers, one with one amibea the second with 2 amibeas.

Amibeas divide themselves into 2 identical amibeas after 3 minutes.

The container with 2 amibeas get filled up after 3 hours.

How long​ does it take the one with one amibea to get filled up.

The test was named:"Javascript Test"....

I first thought, should I write this in JS?

Spoiler: the answer is 3h and 3 minutes.
But why? What's the link with JS?

Build an app that would tell you about all the news that mainstream media doesn't want to cover, like what's happening in parts of Africa, the enslaved workers in the far East and the situation of the Syrian and Iraqi lands under siege.

Then follows it with a cute baby/puppy/kitten video so you don't end up looking at the "empty half of the cup"

What's with Android telling me what volume I should have my music at? If I want to deafen myself, then that's up to me!

I love good advertisement but I hate bad products with "good" ads!

It's so difficult to find a reliable and up-to-date source for what's a good and bad game engine at the time. Every engine says it's the best. Every browser says it's the fastest. Every anti-virus app says it's the safest. God damn, come of with creative way and don't say your product is the best! *tilted*

I feel like when I was a less experienced developer I was way more productive and undertook more complicated hobby projects.

I used to not give a fuck. Use a language I've never used before? Fuck it, let's learn it on the fly. I need to use a weird library with last commit 2 years ago? I don't care, let's import it. Make a computer vision project even though I know nothing about it and I end up just making up the techniques without reading any research? Let's make it my uni year project.

Now days I have so much doubt whenever doing anything. I always spend too much time thinking about what's the best way of doing it and doing research to see how others have done it. All of my experimentation spirit has been sucked away.

Damn Fuck FACEBOOK AND WHATSAPP DevRant's what's up 👆🏾👆🏾 I love this shit

Supervisor: *starts meeting*
Me: *joins*
S: Hi, thanks for joining
M: Yup, what's up
S: I wanted to set up this 1 on 1 to talk about how you're doing and your progress.
M: OK...
S: As you know we're supposed to do a 3 month review.
M: OK... Sure... *looks at calendar*

//It has been 5.8 months since I've been at this company.

This just happened....

Tester: My cluster is not working properly!!!
Me: What's wrong?
Tester: I don't know. I've checked all the logs available on the entire cluster. All i know is that node 1 and 7 is broken.
*ssh into the cluster*
node1
# less /var/log/<affected application log>.log
*no errors here everything is working properly*
node7
# less /var/log/<affected application log>.log
*goes down to the bottom and scrolls up a few lines*
<insert massive error here>

Checked all the logs eh?

Copy cat bandit strikes again!!

Can he EVER come up with anything original?? Yo Zuck, what's going on with that TilTok clone of yours? What's it called...."Lasso" ? 😑

This website sucks. I sign up and first thing I see is a clusterfuck UI. I can't tell what's going on.
Then the morons who made the UI decided that the "new post" button was going to be on the bottom middle position.

On today's episode of devRant we have..... 🥁

No really, What's new in the world on this windy, cold, miserable, wait what day is it again? Oh Wednesday, I seriously had to look that up.

COVID staycation is blending the days together now.

Fuck Apple Two-Factor Authentication.

I am a developer with multiple accounts and this two-factor authentication is a fucking joke! I spoke to this idiot on the line who told me that I had to create an administrator on my computer to login to a developer account of mine. I hung up the phone and told her to "Fuck Off"

It's a fucking waste of time. Apple has not had an innovation since Steve Jobs died; each upgrade does nothing new compared with the last one. What's new things are there between 10.14 and 10.8??? Nothing. Except it's a lot fucking slower.

I asked my teacher what's wrong with the PCs, because I can't even open up File manager without any freeze.. She told me that it's old, and she's planning to fix them. So being me, I asked her if I can help, and she said yes..
*grabbed my screwdriver*
*opened up the case*
>fuck, kill me

Today's rant will be brought to you by the letters A, W, and S.

I stayed up all night, ALL NIGHT, and finished this cool new feature, which is an integration between two technologies that tmk has not been done before. In short, I invented a thing last night.

Then at 5 fucking 30 this morning my EC2 fucking died. No SSH, no HTTPS... nothing... can't get into it to see what's up.

Put in a support request to AWS and finally went to bed. Wake up this morning to still nothing.

Can't wait for AWS support, try stopping and starting my instance... nevermind I'll have to re-setup SSH, and VS Code, and Workbench.. (which why the fuck can't I keep an IP through a reboot in the first fucking place!)

But nevermind that I was willing to do all that... this piece of shit won't start up any fucking way.

Fuck.

Now I have to rebuild this fucking EC2... and I could try to snapshot it... but that would probably fuck up too, so I'm just going to do it by fucking hand like I do everything else.

Fuck AWS.

Many people / engineers around me talk about trendy stuff like Cybersecurity or AI and show off what great encryption and neuronal networks they 'have built' ( I would rather say 'using').

I kinda get the feeling of 'Everbody talks about it - no one really knows what's goin' on inside (especially those guys who hate math and even algorithms).'

Am I just stupid or does somebody else here feel the same way? I mean people have been doing serious research about this stuff for years. And currently many kids are coming up with it as if it is easy stuff like the bubble sort.

Kind of reinventing myself, what's up 😎

This night I dreamt that I could build indexes (yeah, boo me on the plural) for relalife things..trees, buildings, birds.. Everything gets an index, Oprah style!!!! And once last month I also dreamt I could debug real life things.. Look at the person and see what's wrong with them.. All their stats, bugs, everythiiiiing!! So disappointend when I woke up :(

!isNotRant(this);

I'm an avid user of Snapchat and have used it for quite a while, but there's always been something that pisses me off.

When an app gets an update, I'm quick to check the changelog and see what's now and what's been fixed. That's my little snippet of information I like to know on a release. And then there's Snapchat.

They put fuck all in their changelogs. By fuck all I don't mean a little bit of information, I mean they don't list anything. They, instead, lost features from their last major release which could've been 10 or so releases back. Even Twitter's "Fixed some bugs" is more informative than their bs.

So I ended up writing a well worded and surprisingly clean message in their feedback section about this, but I'm not expecting much. In short I said "You changelogs are crap, you need to put more into them to show a bit more respect, showing stuff from a few releases ago isn't helpful" and my favourite "if you can't do it in the team that releases, get the primary devs to write the changelogs for you".

I'm saying this here to see if anyone agrees with my opinion. If you're going to release an update, you really need to tell us what's updated.

Thoughts?

I don't have a life.

So I'm back at work on a Saturday afternoon (admittedly, I prefer this to staying home or going out to ... Clubbing? Idk what the youth does nowadays) and just about every sound frightens me. Like, I don't mind the squeaky building, but my hormones are off and just about everything sends me into a panic mode. (my mental health rn is... funny 😬) so, I was thinking, I should make something thay covers up the squeaks. Like, plays something classic over squeaks.

... Now, "psychopaths in your area" could use this to their advantage and direct their own music pieces. 👀

Non-Rant
What's the point of laptops with just 8GB of SSDs. Does it speed up stuff?

What's the most complex programming task you ever had to solve? Or: A "hack"* of a framework/API you came up with to make something work?

*undocumented or unintended use

Solo Android app developer here. It's 4AM where I'm working. Been working alone on a project for the last 20 days. Looking to get some inspiration and discuss new ideas with other devs.

So hi!
What's up with you? What do you do?

What's up with all of these unstable updates at the same time from Google and Microsoft?

First Microsoft releases an update that deletes My Documents

Then chrome on windows gets updated with a "eat your disk in addition to ram usage" that freezes my PC.

Like whatever happened to testing before releasing, least some minimal testing...

Then again, it's a fucking Microsoft product... -.-

!rant

Need help. Just realized that I have been responding to every interaction I have had lately in a negative way. Not sure what's going on, but I just seem to always respond with a negative response. I consider myself a critical thinker, and a devil's advocate. From a previous comment on this site, to a random facebook post of someone sharing an animal rights post. I usually just ignore them and move on, but I ended up responding with poor intention.

What's up with almost every other site having invalid ssl certs, even though they are signed with a future date and by LetsEncrypt, did chrome again distrust a batch?

A dev joins the project. I help him set up, and he has everything up and running. I give him a task to fix a CSS issue, I even tell him what needs to be done. Almost 4 hours later I begin to wonder what's taking him so long and what is he up to. He finally sends me a pull request with just one line of code changed, and leaves for the day, over 45 mins earlier than supposed to.

I'm a dev and I like to rant

And who says it has to always be about Dev stuff ?

So!!! I ve spent 2 days as a junior dev and I feeel not well... 1) I am the worst dev in the company with no experience 2) brain-dead 3) feel like I wasted 2 days and learnt nothing, I guess in theory it's something but realistically I had no "it clicked" /pure genius /astounded myself / made major new brain connections moments

So what's going to happen now. ? When will I wake up? How do I wake up ?

So it looks like my 80+ yr old grandma finally managed to get hang of her touch screen smartphone. She was recently set up with WhatsApp.

She has called me quite a few times today and when i ask what's up, she says she is just testing it out. It's so cute *-* and makes me happy to know she has learned to use it and called me.

I wonder how it must feel for her to be able to use this technology which was probably never even imagined during her young age.

You know what's fucking horrible?

Implementing new features to an Android app in production that another dev wrote...

...which has no architecture, no documentation, no modularity, no testability, everything runs on the UI thread, filled with spaghetti code and it somehow works smoothely so I have to not fuck it up.

Oh and I'm also a junior. So fuck me, right?

I live in Italy and in here we all write the date like we're French...

What's up with these "locale" not working properly?

Lots of people seem to have awful PM's, so I just thought I'd express appreciation for my PM (who I found out last week goes to my church, which was cool). He regularly asks questions about how our system works so that he can be constructive in directions instead of acting like he knows what's up. Woo Tim! Ok feel free to go back to negativity time

What's up with the long windows update?
It's been 3 hours now :/

Picked up an older project which is in prod for 2 years now. I got a DB error related to a null in an array.
Proceed to check the front end(angular 1.5). Ended up in a 3000 lines file😫
What's worse the array was processed by multiple functions including 'filter' and 'filter2'. Naming conventions ftw😂 I don't know whether to laugh or cry 😂

*during sprint planning*
Me: so here are the tickets I'm taking in this sprint. I'll do this first and that second. I'm also keeping some buffer for emergency stuff
Manager: ok, this looks good. I trust you and will let you work in peace unless something important comes up. I won't micro manage you
Also my manager for every fucking day of the sprint: hey man what's up? Ready for sync up call?

THAT'S MICRO MANAGING RIGHT THERE YOU PIECE OF SHIT. YOU COULD CHECK JIRA OR GITHUB OR ASK ME IN STANDUP BUT YOU INSIST ON CALLING AND ASK ABOUT THE TINIEST DETAILS. GO FUCK YOURSELF SERIOUSLY

I might have asked this before, but since everyone on devRant except me is familiar with Git, please help me out a bit.
1. Should I use Git for a personal (game) project with a friend? (We'll work together via skype since we live far away from each other)
2. Noobs call Git "too difficult" - it seems difficult to me as well, what's your best advice (or resources, Git alternatives) to pick it up easily?
3. Will I have trouble with my slow internet (4mbps down 0.2mbps up)?

Intend to help a friend to find out what's wrong with a software installation in his laptop today...
But forgot that his Windows installed in Chinese version... how am I supposed to help.... (; _ ;)
I can't read Chinese... can't even find how to open Control Panel...
_________________________________
My native language is not English, but I always have all my techies set up in English.

Me: "Alright, I've been on 'top', 'algo' and 'recent', I'm going to check twitter or 9gag now"
Also me: "I wonder what's up on DevRant"

Guys seriously, how the fuck did we end up like this? What's the deal with the new ~2Kg piece of aluminium that Apple is selling for $999, the "Apple Stand Pro"...

How did we allow for such a company gain this much of arrogance and confidence to sell us normal goods for exorbitant prices?

I seriously cannot imagine the unit production price going beyond $100, and I'm exaggerating a lot here. I can't think of any economic model that justifies the extra $899. They're exploiting cheap Chinese labor for fuck sake! What costs do they have?

I can't for the life of me believe how anybody and fuck up a library so bad.

It's easily over a decade old and one of the core groups of libraries we use.

The abstractions suck so bad it's a pain trying to get anything to work.

What's worse is there's no future for it. Nobody dares to refactor this or some shit in a 20yo system might break. Fml

So what's up with @chaosesqueteam ? Are his posts really THAT good (look at their updoots), or does he own a bot squad in dR? To me personally his posts do not make any sense (at least the recent ones)

What do we do about it?

I am working with a team that's producing tons of new services..
And me being a fresher, reading new designs every other day with God knows complex implementations and business requirements and attending design review meetings(where I can barely understand anything)
having a great learning curve..
Hopefully, I survive this period and cope up with the inputs...
Note: Just don't ask what's my contribution.. I am gearing up for the D-Day to make my impact(not a negative one).. 😎

What's everyone's plan for after the AI takeover?

I'm thinking machining. Unless they took up AI to CNC...

Privacy peeps, what's your opinion on usage of surveillance for national defence, domestic security, etc. ?
I'm just curious, most privacy-minded people I know generally trip up when confronted with stuff like "yeah, but if surveillance was a thing then that blast which killed 20 people yesterday could have been averted."
I've heard quite a few opinions on both sides, what's yours?

Coworker:Awe..
Fuck me...
Fuck fuck.... I fucked up...This fucking url..

..... Fuck. ... Pages

Me. What's going on buddy
Co worker: pages are down
Me: that sucks bro watchu do

Co worker: nothing too bad

Me: 😕 .. ok..

..... I'm still hearing the "fuuhhhcks" , and groans.

Guess who's delivering the news ... Does dev rants give stress beers.

"But using XYX is better and it's not hard to set up!"
No, fuck you and your recommendations.

It's too time consuming to set up that blazing-fast minimalistic modular shit, because I know I'll want to configure it to perfection until I bang my head against my tiny keyboard when I have finally realised that all the config I went througu only achieved the same outcome as the 'bloated' software I was originally using.

So, fuck you.
I'd rather get on with my life and get some work done.

It's not like I wasn't aware of XYZ in the first place; I'm not using it because I know what's more important to get my shit done.

What's up with the scrollbar?

I'm curious, what kinds of projects is devRant working on right now? What's your most recent project, personal or interesting, that you've picked up recently?

Mine is a program that automates schoolwork for you.

I conducted my first "technical" interview today. Let's just say the chap needs to brush up on his terminology...

Q: What's a class and an object? And what's the difference between each?
A: Ummm... Errr... The one holds static information and the other can change its values.

OK, in his defence, he was nervous and English isn't his first language either, but then brush up on your terminology at the very least so that you can speak the lingo when asked questions about programming.

What's wrong with Mozilla?!

Savvy webdevs use link preloading to break up dependency chains for late discovered resources, and users like the faster loading as result. Firefox 56 started supporting that two and a half years ago. Turned out they had screwed up and it didn't work with non-cacheable resources. So Mozilla "fixed" that by disabling the feature altogether behind some config flag.

And they left it at that - still not supported. They even had patches, but decided not to merge them and instead try something different, some day.

Is Firefox becoming the new IE or what?

Was curious about if there are any true benefits to using XML and ended up on this page. What the actual fuck? I might be missing something here, but what's "more secure" about XML? xD

Been a freelancing for quite a while now and forgot what's it's like to work in a company. Have you got any tips that I could benefit from? Got an interview coming up this week and want to impress them. BTW I'm a Web developer.

Relative phones up worried about installing Adblocker as it "can store and modify the websites you visit"...my answer.."so can GCHQ, NSA AND CIA so just give in to the fact that you have no privacy and click ok"...*long pause*.."ok one more question, what's a chrome extension?"..FML

What's everyone's opinion when it comes to PWA's?

Do you think they will have the potential to replace most desktop and mobile applications?

Personally think they are a great platform and could definitely see them replacing lots of current applications but feel like the web technologies can't catch up to some of the major requirements for higher level apps like game engines or games...

"Hey guys, what's up?" 😡😡😡

Why do so many people on YouTube begin their fucking videos with a pointless question noone is able to answer and which no one would acknowledge even if they did somehow manage to answer? What's up is an automatic thumbs down and fuck you.

This showed up while I was scrolling through Reddit. What's wrong with this picture?

Email from client: "help! I'm updating my content but it's not showing up on the website! What's wrong?"

A couple of emails back and forth and decide it would be easier to go find out what's up in person, seeing how she's in the same building but downstairs.

"So what's the problem?" I ask
"Oh I figured it out myself. I remembered when you gave me the training that there's two steps to the process but forgot the second one"
"Second one?" I ask (you click update and voila)
"Yeah I forgot after you click update you have to refresh the page, thanks for coming down to help though"
Me: 😑😑😑😑

What's up with the meetings and schedules? If you involve 9 people for a 3 hour meeting, you're wasting 27 freaking hours and no it's not what standups mean. Startups! ugh

So what's up with HR people pushing people to stop using terms like master/slave and blacklist/whitelist because it's offensive to people? I mean this is simply censorship out of context. It's not blatantly hating on someone.

Did they did even ask concerned people their opinion? Is this really gonna help professional inclusion? Censoring terms will not solve issues if you cannot talk about it in an honest manner.

Fuck sake some HR people are paid for doing bullshit.

I need to add a certificate to an Apple ID. First time doing that - should be no trouble.

> Open Xcode
> Xcode --> Preferences... -> Accounts
> Select the correct Apple ID
> Manage Certificates...

Hmm. What's this '+' button?

> Clicks the button
> Categories show up - no descriptions for their use beyond names. Maybe if I click one?
> Clicks arbitrary category
> Immediately creates a certificate and adds it to keychain
> Can't be removed from this window
> Must be revoked from Apple's portal and then deleted

I feel dumb.

Working a local community site. Used the project to pick up on Vue.

Next I wanna check out what's all the fuss with flutter. Also I am in the process of reverting back to rails after spending 2y writing php

Well think it's time a go through an reassess myself a little bit...

Going to cut out premade iced coffee (As much as I do love my dare's) and just do homemade to save money and help with my acne...

Potentially start going for walks and do some minor working out if my back will allow it.

Pick up my violin and continue learning it...

And for the biggest hurdle.... I'm going to drop most of my current projects and take what's left, redesign from the ground up and just hammer them out with my nose to the ground and ass in the air...

Time for hell ( '-') ‾\

What's the longest project you've worked on (in a passage of time type measurement)?. Mine' s a client website, 2 years (so far) in the making. 1 complete redesign, and re-written vast chunks of CSS and code because some of it was shit (2 yrs ago). Now it's super efficient and looking good. Still not finished though. Fortunately they know it's their fault and they have paid up to date, we are at double the original estimate now. I have not moaned at them because they have not moaned at my charges.

I suddenly just want to retire.... Job just feels like never ending work.... Can't find time for a break... And well biggest fear in taking a vacation is the amount of work that piles up while I'm gone...

Maybe I suddenly just have burn out... But suddenly just going ah fck... What's the point of all this....

Sometimes wonder, if I didn't have parents around would I just quit and and just do whatever I want until I run out of money...

How many years that would take....

What's a good hobby project for learning React Native? I come from MEAN and C#/Java.

Just realized I haven't done much coding outside of work recently.... need to get more up to date.

Also correct me if I'm rwrong but it's like Cordova and Electron right? Code is JS and CSS, run everywhere as a native app?

Boss: so what's the outcome of this meeting?

Me: well 23 more JavaScript frameworks got released in this time. A lot to catch up.

Do you use personal assistants for home automation? If yes, what's your setup?

I'm thinking about setting up a RPi/similar with Jasper and bundling it up with Home Assistant, however, I'm not sure about the audio hardware yet.

MEETINGS
Daily stand up
Weekly status
Fortnightly update
Monthly planning

Life would be so much simpler without meetings. Just chat, why fuss over "meeting"?

As it is most of the things don't go as per what's planned in the monthly planning meeting.

Neither is there much of an update in the fortnightly update meeting. Only update is what we planned, isn't the right direction.

This will obviously screw up the weekly status. Screwed up planning is dishevelled implementation.

Daily stand up is just very sleep deprived developers, who don't wanna talk.

Make it my time's worth; say no more meetings.

Just met a lonely guy , he was terrified . I asked him what's the issue ? He said .. " My girlfriend told me that she loves gemstones , I bought her one . She broke up with me ! " And I was so confused .. I asked him why ? He said I didn't know she was a developer . I wouldn't dare to gift her a ruby... I know how it feels bruh.

Help me someone, please. I just installed the Fall Creators Update and tried the latest version of Edge. It's lightning fast and it looks gorgeous. What's wrong with me? Should I seek counselling, or up my medication?

Best Internet usage

What's up with all this hate with Java?

Been a while crocodile, what's up devrant?

The "Gratitude" emoji pack recently introduced to Slack. They're basically "Thank you" in different languages.
Among others, there is a Russian "спасибо", but there is no Ukrainian "дякую".

What's up Slack? Didn't you paint your logo blue and yellow when the war started?

If you're gonna push your "please don't cancel us" marketing BS like all the other companies, at least be fucking consistent.

Speaking of "living"...

When was the last time you looked up in the sky and admired the beauty of its deep blueness or the beauty of the clouds floating up there?

We live in a beautiful world. And yet we spend our lives dawn-to-dusk staring at things made by ourselves rather than enjoying what's already there - the beauty all around us we don't bother to even think about, not to mention look at it.

No, I'm not a spiritual person. I just really love the world around me :) Not people. Not technology. Pure raw nature and the mind-bending balance of EVERYTHING in it.

So... when was the last time you've admired what's out there, rather than what's in our artificial world?

always free your pointers people.
what's worse is when you preach that to people and end up being the one who leaves dangling pointers everywhere

woop memory overflowed
woop woop system crashes and you dont know why
woop woop woop sometimes it doesnt crash and you dont know why

What's up with recent Bootcamp grads putting themselves as "full stack engineer"s or "software engineer"s on LinkedIn when they haven't even had their first job yet? They build two projects and they think they are already engineers with zero relative job experience?

I don't get it.

!rant

I love gitlab but what's up with merge requests taking forever.

I'm not the waiting kind. Smash a keyboard or something.

I am so fed up with life that I just want to die...
But on the other hand, I'm not sure what's going to happen, when I'm dead either.

A few months ago I switched from Windows 10 to Arch Linux on my main computer and the upgrade is incredible. I knew it would be, of course - I already had Linux on my laptop. But wow, on a dual monitor setup, and with the motivation to set it up nicely, it's brilliant.

My question is, what's everyone's favourite Linux distro, and why? Pictures of your desktops would be cool.

I think what's worse than bad coding is bad network connection. Can't load StackOverflow, Network Assets, Run Reports, or pull updated repositories because somebody is hogging up the bandwidth. FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU

Several JavaScript Frameworks / Libraries keep springing up everyday! After learning Angular, everyone is saying it's fading and React has taken over.

What's fucking wrong with Front end?!!

What's up with giving away +1's for anything and everything? I thought this was a place for cranky developers. I expected developers over here to be mean and bullies.

I find dynamically typed language a lot easier to read and understand than statically typed language.

What's up with all these interfaces, types and abstractions, its just too much!

I do want structure when writing code, but also the flexibility to test things without the f*** interface/type errors!!!

What's up with bitbucket? For the last 2 months it's been down numerous times, obviously when you need it the most :(

a person who is keep asking what's up every 10 minutes

In the darkest dankest parts of the code, I have discovered a way to get the tag UNDEFINED to show up in this rant. They call things that are unknown a black box. But you see, if you have a good enough shot gun, you can begin to blow enough holes through the box to figure out what's inside. I never said that whatever was inside the box was going to make it out... I just wanna get a good idea of what was inside.

I had the "pleasure" of working with someone who though that it would be a good idea to create random strings and check if they were in a database, to ensure they are unique. What's even better, is that this was being used for batch generation of up to 100 such strings at a time!

I was on glassdoor today, and a survey came up. The survey looks like market research for a product that sounds like it will be exactly like one of my side projects... Deciding if it's worth scrambling to beat them to market with what's barely a MVP and no marketing resources, or just chalking it up as fun and good experience.

When you are blocked by a trivial issue - eg., what's setting this value in the db - that someone can answer in 5 seconds in person, you can figure out on your own in 30 minutes, or you can ask via slack and get an answer after a minute or a day.

During the pandemic I had to take over a project for a guy that was retiring, and my chat log with him is basically me talking to myself, going "nm found it" up to a day after my last message.

What's up with clients not providing all the information about the project and wants timeline in 1 day.

How many and how big monitors do you use when coding?

Or what's your set up in general?