Talking to my angry girlfriend is the hardest debugging process.
I can't even find out what went wrong

I don't even know what to say (I apologize if this is a dupe)

Windows, you fucking idiot! You scheduled that damn update and now you have the balls to ask me what happened?!

My wife is turning into my project manager . . .

Me : Check out this game I'm building as a side project!

Wife : Wow that's really neat! I expect to be able to play it on my phone. 1 month?

Me: What? I haven't even learned how to port ...

Wife : (interrupts) ONE MONTH

Scope creep even at home *sigh

WHAT EVEN THE FUCK.

THIS IS NOT OK

See Microsoft? Even Linux knows what Windows is!

FOR FUCK SAKE DO PEOPLE THINK BEFORE POSTING!!!

I got a 3 star review on my app and the user said if I implement feature x he will give me 5 stars, what is even more funny is he is requesting it for free!!

I hate this fucked up miserable world -.-

Manager: "yeah so thanks for understanding we can't give you a payrise, by the way we need you to train the new guy we just hired who is your senior because even though he is more experienced than you as a c# dev he doesn't understand what an object is"

Me...

Do you ever talk to yourself out loud while thinking/programming/debugging? (Not a rubber duck in sight, because that makes it okay?)

I need to avoid making this a habit..

Me: What? Why is this even an error?

Someone: What?

Me: What?

This is the equivalent of fining an average person $5, if even that much. What a joke of a fine.

If you're going to fine someone, actually fine them for an amount that'll hurt a little bit.

Look what I found!
Even my L3 cache is bigger than this!

“Those were the days😂”

Even JavaScript doesn't misbehave when a semicolon is missing. What the hell does CSS think of itself?

Wait, there is a bug in high sierra making it possible to log in as root without a password. What the fuck? How does this shit even happen?

Some kid in my class just legit asked the teacher what a router and a modem is.
The thing is: the teacher didnt even know.

People who don't understand what I code or who don't even know what a freaking "code" is, telling me how to do my job!! Then my reaction will be like -

People sending text documents in .doc format... what is fucking wrong with you?! Word has even had a build in .pdf converter for decades!?

What the actual fuck apple?
The SSD is soldiered on the new macbook "pro"?
Drives fail you know, and that thing costs an arm and a leg and even a fuckin liver or two.

So this is what I received from a very bad recruiter.

I don't even know why I covered the details, this deserves to be public xD

Also, consider that this message came with <no subject>..

What even is this?

They are very "proud" to launch this app..

Witchcraft: Code that has been optimized to a point at which even its author has no concept of exactly how it works, only what it is used for.

This is how I found about devrant

Yesterday night while I was coding,
suddenly something hit me hard in my mind and that was

" You have your semester exams from next Friday"

and guess what, I haven't even touched my books the whole semester.
I began to stress, started to overthink, the mind went completely blank...

This morning when I woke up, found myself in my bed. I don't even remember what happened, how I got in my bed but one thing was same
I was still stressing about my semester exams

I sat in front of my laptop and opened Firefox > google.com > and this is what is typed and searched :
"Programming sucks "

Going through different search results and forums, sites I landed here ...

This is how I ended up here in devrant

Guys, Guys, Guys!
I've just won employee of the month! And you know what is even better? The elders of the internet allowed to lend the internet to me to use it in my speech! I couldn't be happier (they even know who I am!)

My government is FUCKING STUPIDLY JOKING. I can't confirm this but what i heard from friend of mine who works on that place. The server is turned off after work hours. And yes Holiday included. What the fuck? Are they even know the basics?

And yet today is not even a holiday. And i got this "Server Hangup" unhelpful Message.

This site is supposed to be the place to handle Online Taxation. And the deadline to report my company's earning is just tommorow, yet we can't do anything if the website IS NOT FUCKING ON!!!! I DON'T WANT TO PAY FINE CHARGES BECAUSE LATE REPORT SUBMISSION!!!! THIS IS GOVERNMENT FAULT NOT MINE!

"What the fuck is this file even for? Let's see who made it"

You, 2 years ago | 1 author (You)

"Oh, okay"

"My wifi is low, can you speed it up?"
"Can you restore a document I deleted?"
"What? You're a programmer and can't even fix my washing machine?"

Brazil, but I think it's universal :/

teaching myself pointers right now

here is my learning process right now:
1. what even is this
2. wow this is neat
3. why does this even exist
4. what even is this
5. repeat

Something I probably shouldn't talk about:

One of the projects at work has a specific path you can visit. The """security""" is that nobody should know the path. But I can guaran-fucking-tee you it's not difficult to guess.

On this page, ***without a login***, you can view some user information. Well, you can view all of it, but only certain fields.

And if you perform a specific action on this page, you can get their password, plaintext.

This project is not mine. But learning all of this made me super uneasy. I had to share it.

What's the point of using a framework if you don't use any of its features!? What the heck, I have to fix this damn web frontend that is so broken in many ways.

Instead of using an authentication middleware, every single view has the same block of code to check if a user is authenticated. Instead of templates, they used static HTML/JavaScript files and they passed data to pages through cookies.

The "REST" API is so messed up, nothing is resource-oriented, HTTP methods are chosen randomly as well as status codes. They are returning "412 Precondition Failed" instead of a plain simple "401 Unauthorized" when you're not authenticated! What the hell, did they even bother to check what 412 is about when they copied and pasted it from a crappy website!? I would never come up with 412, not even in my scariest nightmare.

What kind of drugs were they using when they wrote such code? Oh dear, I need a vacation...

DFox & T-rogus: Dafuq do you put in your algo? It's frikin insane how many times people notice completely related rants side-by-side or even weird replies to rants below the rant itself in our feed. What is this sorcery?

What the hell @Apple
I know autocorrect / suggestions is getting worse every day but this doesn’t even remotely come close ☠️

What my professor teaches:
This is a mouse and this is a keyboard

What he asks in exams:
How do you use this particular keyboard and this mouse to create a potato?

That is pretty much what always happened.. Even in theoretical exams.. :|

Because the RSS feed is still down, hereby.

The post about what I personally take for security and privacy measures is up.

Hopefully you can learn something from it or even email me some tips!

How machine learning works,

Interviewer: What's your biggest strength?
Developer: I am a quick learner
Interviewer: what is 1 + 1
Developer: 30.
Interviewer: Not even close, Its 2.
Developer: 2

!Rant
You know one of the things I love about this community is?
We have such a diverse group of people and even when those who don't speak English natively, they try to on the app as much as possible keeping it consistent. Even when they make some mistakes, no one's a dick about it (from what I've seen), which is awesome!

When the last dev wrote code and you dared to read it....switch on a Boolean, what even is your life legacy dev?

Are we just programmed to stay awake all night? Even if we have nothing to do?

Like, it's 4 a.m. in my country and I just can't fucking sleep! What is this?!

12:30pm - I can't code any more, what does this function even do?
12:45pm - What's a function?
12:59pm - I still don't know what a function is
01:00pm - *Eats Lunch*
01:05pm - My code makes perfect sense

Everytime 🙄
Client: it's not working.
Me: what isn't
Client: the app video and link thing locator
Me: device and spec ? Like I always need
Client:iPhone
Me: yes. What one and what version of iOS
Client: urm 6s iOS 10 something
Me: great 😏 not broken for me
Client: well everyone is complaining so we need it fixed.

What can i even do now 😐

Can people just fucking stop using "hacked" as a synonym for "my password has been found out"? Even devs do this shit! Devs should know better about what a "hacked" account is.

Even though I haven't had such an experience yet, I can assume that this is what every dev sees when he lets the client play with a new feature

I think my biggest problem is not being able to let go.

I love this product and believe in it 100%, but I CANT FUCKING STAND ANOTHER MINUTE WORKING WITH THESE FUCKING CLUELESS CLOWNS WHO ARE GOING TO DRIVE IT TO THE FUCKING GROUND!!!!!

...you know what? fuck 'em, I meanwhile reap $400+ monthly checks from Udemy, while our "best startup / amazing startup / omg wow lol i'm a fucking idiot" has earned a TOTAL of $200 in the past FUCKING YEAR

YOU FUCKING CLOWNS GET YOUR HEAD ON STRAIGHT OR I WILL TAKE THIS COMPANY OVER AND CONTROL ALL DECISIONS, IGNORING ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU THINK IS 'WISE' YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT 'WISE' IS YOU FUCKS!!!!!!!

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? YOU DON'T EVEN REMEMBER YOUR BITBUCKET CREDENTIALS!!!! YOU CAN'T EVEN REVOKE MY ACCESS

AAAAAAAGGGGGG YOU FUCKING CLOWNS GODDAMMIT THIS IS SO FUCKING FRUSTRATING I CANT EVEN I NEED TO SMASH SOMETHING TO GET THE RAGE OUTAASDASDJKLFJ;KLAFDSJKL;AFDSJKL;AFES L;KADFS AF LSAFS DHI;A EGWHIOAEGW IOAEGWHIO

No, I will not register on Pinterest. Never! I don't even understand what the hell that site is.

Manager: With all the horror stories why are we even developers?

Me: Because once we get part the horror, we become geniuses.

Manager: So what you're saying is that being a developer is like taking a crap after being constipated for three weeks?

You know what is an even better feeling than finishing a 60 pages long document on which my schooling rests?

Realizing you finished it 3 weeks before the deadline 😍😍

I've pretty much completed my profile here on devrant... I'm just 3000 or so away from my final item

I don't even know what it is exactly.

Can someone tell me how "Marked As Duplicate is even FUCKING HELPFUL?

Stack Overflow and their stupid policies can go fuck themselves. Is the world really going to end if someone writes a question that's been asked before? Especially when you link to a goddamn question that still doesn't answer what I asked?

And then have the gall to say "exact duplicate?"

EVEN THOUGH IT WAS A DIFFERENT QUESTION?

You guys wanna know why I rage so much at the 🤡🤡🤡's I work with?

I shit you not, this is a ticket in our "to do" section of our Jira.

what even is ticket linking??!?!?

what even are tickets??!?!?!

or better yet.... what even the fuck is jira?!?!?! I've only been using it for over a year, give me some time to figure out how to use it!!!!!!

I don't know, maybe i'm the asshole. But at least I don't feel like a 🤡

The thing is that I have told my family a few times what I really do at work. But I have to be honest: explaining what a backend dev does is hard without showing a GUI 😂

Sometimes I even think for myself: wtf am I doing here... 😁

Can https be decrypted easily?
(Or even by spending some time)
Plus what other security methods banks apply to prevent theft of sensible data?
Do they encrypt data using thair own private key thet is changed automatically?

I dont even know what gradle is but based purely off of the rants on here I'm never going to use it.

This girl I don't even know much sent me this code. She is not a coder and has never written any code before by the way.

if(true)
{
temp=abhinav;
abhinav= v bad;
v bad= temp;
}

Is this what a modern day love note look like? 🤔🤔

Fuck.
Fuck this shit
Fuck. What the hell is this?
What the fuck????
Fuck this place.
How the hell is it even possible??
Fuck all. M leaving.
.
.
.
.
A snapshot of my workday nowadays.

Ok seriously what the actual fuck is this even supposed to be

Narnia has have better bandwidth than this

Yea,

this email

is totally

#legit

Win95 throwback... Or maybe even 3.1...

So this is what it's like when Remote Desktop runs in 16-bit color.

(Somehow my remote connection was slow so it downgraded the colors)

Tomorrow our informatics teacher wants to teach us Java, but half the class doesn't even understand what an IP address is.

"Knowing" Bootstrap or Foundation is not the same as knowing CSS. If you claim to know css and you can't even tell me what media query is or how to make a page even semi-responsive without a css framework, please do everyone a favor and fuck off.

It's going to be one of those days. I already know.

This is really creepy. Yesterday I was talking to my parents about buying a Thermosteel flask. Today I opened Amazon and this is what I see.. (attached pic)
I am pretty sure, I didn't looked for it even on Google.
It may be co-incidence but still..

Java is kind of like teenage sex--everyone is always talking about it, but in reality they don't even know what they're talking about.

Today I got the order to block all ports needed for LOL at a school. Even if its just LOL, is still violates everything I stand for. Lets hope that the children know what VPN is

Now that Android P is officially named "Pie",
It makes me wonder what they'd name Android Q?😂

I'm not even aware of any desert that starts with a "Q". 😋

Infra engineers should be war veterans

I literally spent 4-5 days on CI, DevOps and Intune

The worst part is you don't even know what will happen until the CI runs

Why the fuck do people learn a framework if they don't even know the fucking most basic knowledge about the language.

Every fucking JS dev should know what the fucking toString result of a function object is! Thats like second page JS book stuff.

Even for Facebook groups this is a horrible question.

That moment when you make a brilliantly profound comment to the team, then turn around and realise they're not in the room. Even on realising this, I say "Oh you're not there" OUT LOUD. What is wrong with me?!

WTF Woke up this morning and found my email used to register to a website called fiverr.com!!

What is even worse is that at the end of the email where they have that section of: this email was sent to ..., the name is random letters

Even more ironic that website does not allow access from Lebanon ....

I think it is time to change my email, been getting a lot of spam into my inbox lately, though Gmail has a good spam filter :\

People like to have "sent from my iPhone" or "sent from my Android" and I set mine to "sent from my PDP-7." Surprised the older people I work with that I even know what that is lol.

When your Program prints a PDF two times. What the Client thinks what happend:
myDocument.printTwoTimes();

When you review your Code:
This shouldn't even print once! How is any of this even working?

Happend to me today at work :D

My creativity blackout is so great that I don't even know what to rant about.

What is wrong with people. I put in hours of my time every day and it hurts to see some annonymous person complaining shit about something that doesn't even exist.
😤😤

It took straight 2 minutes to send 3 values to their server and even then it failed, just fucking great, what fills my eyes with blood is how calm the message is supposed to sound, you fuck can't receive opt-outs over https, what?!

I submitted a security report some days ago.

It is well written, it explains what is happening and what is the impact providing an example. I give some advice about how to handle this situation, it's about concurrency issues and it's pretty tricky to debug.

Answer from the reviewer:
"Please, can you tell me what are the implications?"

...
...

FUCK.
IT'S LITERALLY FUCKING WRITTEN,
CAN U EVEN READ IT?
THERE ARE PICTURES DESCRIBING THE ISSUE, I EVEN ATTACHED A FILE YOU CAN USE TO DEBUG.

...

This is the last time I report vulnerabilities.

Overheard a dev bragging about how our site is fully PCI compliant. So much so even the invoice data is secure. My BS meter went off, so I decided to look at what 'secure' code looked like.

I wonder, do they even know what github is?

Attendance at the daily standup [related to a project that hasn't even started yet] is mandatory!
What did you work on yesterday?
An unrelated project.
What are you working on today?
An unrelated project.
What are you working on for the next 3-6 months?
You guessed it: An unrelated project.
Any blockers?
This is interfering with an unrelated project, but when Agile says "jump", you say "how high?"!

Hey guys.
Got this motor here... What do you think it's voltage is?
Tryed 12v, didn't even move...

"In software, we rarely have meaningful requirements. Even if we do, the only measure of success that matters is whether our solution solves the customer’s shifting idea of what their problem is." - Jeff Atwood

HR logic: You know how to write simple bash scripts and you have "expertise" in programming = You are our next kernel/hypervisor developer!

Girl, I do not even know what a hypervisor is.

My internship is starting to make me feel really stupid

The issue seems easy but I literally have no clue what to do or even where to start. :(

Me: do you even know what computer programming is?

Person: agh yea... its when you program a computer...

I have this pact with my neighbor - if someone delivers a package to them, I knock on their door when I notice it to let them know and if they don’t answer, I take it into my apartment and leave a note. Same goes if she or her kids see a package delivered for us and we don’t answer.

So last month, we have a flooding incident in our complex and her flat’s damaged so they have to leave to stay at a hotel for a bit. It’s only supposed to be until the 20th (of last month).

So when she gets a package a few weeks ago, I knock and when there’s no answer, take it into my apartment and leave a note.

Note stays on the door for days.

And then it disappears, so I assume she’s home.

But she never answers the door.

And then I see workers in her place.

So now I don’t know if it’s the workers who picked up the note or if she was back and I missed her.

But it’s been a couple of weeks and I’m starting to worry about her. Like, the day of the flood she almost died and I ended up coming over to help (getting her oldest to do CPR, talking to 911, trying to keep people calm), so I know she’s not feeling great lately.

And I’m the kind of idiot that never thought to exchange numbers.

So I’ve resorted to internet stalking and messaging her on Facebook.

And knocking on the downstairs neighbor’s door since I know they’re related. They didn’t answer. I’ll try again later.

I have no idea what else to do. I mean, I don’t think I can contact the office and be like “Can you please provide me contact information for my neighbor? I have their stuff. Thanks.”

#awkward

how the fuck are these companies making $1M MONTHLY for a FUCKING "BUSINESS" CHAT APP

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS

god i need to halve my IQ and just become an idiot, seems to make much more money, and is way less stress

I loose it big time when developers in my team say "it's not working" and don't even care to explain what is not working and what were you trying to do....

What the hell is with startup CTOs thinking dev applicants are willing to do an "8 to 10 hour" take home coding test before even a first in person interview?! Seriously?

Any tips on nailing OOP design interview questions? This is a black hole, weak area for me, and I get absolutely no feedback on what I'm doing wrong.

I feel like most of it is because I *nothing* about what I'm asked to design.

And yes, I ask clarifying questions, list out use cases and constraints, identify nouns/verbs and map them to objects/methods - but these don't help with the overall *design* when you can't even grasp what the components are, nor which parts need extensibility.

Imagine you've *never* been inside a car, let alone even understand there's components to a car (you don't even know that cars have engines, or that they take fuel). Now imagine you're asked to design a car. It's just, silly.

I really do like Flutter/Dart but I just cannot be the only who thinks that the way to create several nested components/widgets is even close to somewhat readable, what the fu** Google.

Hey! Heard you like scams.
Seriously, what even is this? I heard about this, but didn't think it would happen to me.
Also based on what they want to be doing with another person's computer can also double as a botnet too.

>site is production ready
>client requests new feature by end of week
>add feature and then site breaks on last day of week
>client freaks out even though we warned this is what happens when you add new features DURING LAUNCH WEEK

I activated my LinkedIn yesterday and I got an email today from a Facebook London for interview.

Lol wtf! I didn't even apply or search anything related.

And the role is for Product Leadership.

What should I do guys?

In a call with the big boss of the huge company I'm working for:

HER: Yeah, this MUST be in the next release or we better not even release

She's talking about a fucking carousel to let the user know its stuff has been merged, I get the point! It's important, but do you fucking realize that the user is currently NOT EVEN LOGGING IN?

HOW TF IS YOUR PROBLEM WHAT THEY SEE ONCE INSIDE THE PLATFORM IF THEY CAN'T EVEN LOG THE FUCK IN?

FUCKING BUSINESS BITCH JUST SAYING WHAT HAS TO BE DONE AND THEN PRENTEDING SHIT TO ACTUALLY WORK PROPERLY

3 months ago our company moved 10km away from where I live. So instead of 10 minutes to work, I now have 50 minutes. Great!

The moving was so rushed, they forgot to order a fucking internet connection.. So they panicked and bought 4x 4g modems and a 50 Mbit connection. This connection was then shared by the whole office of 50 people. The connection could barely handle our needs, and for 3 months all streaming or unnecessary use of the internet have been prohibited..

But today! It finally happened!
We got our fiber connection!
No more streaming from my phone!

Bye bye productivity!
Spotify and YouTube here I come!

I've no idea what is wrong with wordpress developers.
Their code was probably written with their asses.
Even the wordpress API is a big shit with very beautiful function names like "the_content".

Facebook is a giant piece of shit. Not only is their platform a massive contributor to mental illness, even their API's are fucking garbage. I'm trying to use their ads API and what it does is it hijacks the entire fucking request so you can't even extract data from the request after calling it. Fuck Facebook and everything they've ever "contributed" to society.

So, i short circuited a fuse on my laptop (accidentally) and...

MS windows is running much better now. 😐 What even.

Password Rules are bullshit. I am the one to decide what password is safe for me. If even I can't remember my password it's not fucking safe. Morons.

What is it about SQL that invites people to do things in utterly ridiculous ways? The amount of pointless repetition and complete lack of clarity in the query scripts I get handed is irritating at the best of times - without any documentation (or even a bare comment sometimes) how am I supposed to work out what you were doing?

I don't know how to feel about it. What story it tells? Python is so easy that even vandals use it or maybe someone bleed on the wall how much she/he hates python. Or maybe it is scream of inner Vandal closed in cubicle who works with AI and blockchain for life's. What is the story behind this?

IPAY88 is the worst payment integration. They parse html data and encoded it into xml for return the data, it is not even singlet or server to server communication , tey called it the ADVANCED BACKEND SYSTEM (My arse!) For security, they ENCODE THE STRING into BASE64 and called it ENCRYPTION ! WHAT THE FUCK?
Encoding is not encryption! I qas expecting they used diffie hellman or AES or RSA etc. THEY TOLD BE ENCODING IS ENCRYPTION? WHAT THE FUCK?

How many bits are in a nibble?

(nybble/nyble)

....I did not know, nor did I know what a nibble was...WITHOUT LOOKING IT UP.....any takers?

What gets me is that still, even now, most bosses do not seem to understand that quality will give you speed.

Why is this even still a fucking debate..

Companies like this one do love exportation. What junior+ developer would switch jobs to an intern that is unpaid?

Not even students (Or graduates) can apply to this position.

What the tickets I receive daily are like... -

“You’ve got to be kidding me. I’ve been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. It’s just common sense.”

You know what a payment feature that is “so secure even the correct user can’t use it” is called?

FUCKING BROKEN. Jesus Christ I hate it when “customer service” people are trying to sound smart.

I hate it when the college gives priority to project report than project. I fucking hate it. Line spacing, fancy borders, font size, institutional logo, who the fuck cares? All I care is what work is going on and what have we learnt from it. Fuck these faggots. For the past week I am more of a typist than an engineering student.

I got even angrier when the evaluators did not even open and go through the report.

for i in range(sys.maxsize()):
print(“fuck”)

Wtf is wrong with me? Last night, I had a very hard time falling asleep even though it was 3am.

Today, I've now been laying in my bed for over 2 hours, and I'm not even close to falling asleep. It feels like my brain wants to think over every possible scenario of what could happen tomorrow...
Please send help...

They say 'code drunk, refactor sober' but they fail to mention the sober refactoring dude won't have a CLUE what the drunk coder was even thinking.

Such is my life.

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. What is this dude talking about?! What am I doing with my life?!?!
Test what? What do I have to do? I didn't study this. I don't know what this API thing is. My life sucks. My job sucks. I suck. I'm stupid, because apparently knowing who or what this API is is essential for being a normal part of society.
I don't even.. oh someone pls kill me.
(No I don't want a detailed explanation what I have to do - I know this is not google and i wont understand it anyways and my husband will torture me with it in the afternoon. Just some sympathy for a finance person who has to deal with this would be nice)

Let's do a REST API interface for our webapplication that is incomplete at funcional level!!!

Let's assist people and companies that can't understand what arguments must be passed, even if we don't know too!!!

This is AGILE!!!!

W8 wut?! O.o
How the hell is someone gonna hack my computer using calculator?!
Also WTH?! I don't even know what that built in admin BS is in win10, let alone how to log in with this o.O

know what is worst than fucking clients from hell?

fucking websites that need a mortherfucking good spec computer to run. i cannot even type properly. thought my keyboard had problem. no. I can fucking type fucking quick and well here now with no hiccup. i wish i can burn those all down.

no wonder we love devrant. even the website is fast and good.

What the fuck is up with job ads for "software engineer" that don't list the tech stack or even the actual product you'd be working on. I get it that it's some shitty external HR companies but are they even trying?

Also half the fullstack positions that don't even list the front stack. "Looking for a backender that will also cobble together some mess for the front, we don't give a shit". And then half of professional software is virtually unusable.

If you think your legacy code is bad - this is what I came across in a system I'm refactoring this morning... and this isn't even the bug I was looking for.

Every recruiter in job add: not essential but desirable. Knowledge of blah blah blah.

But what they don't tell you is that they won't even fucking consider you if you don't have it.

Working in a organization that hire people that don't know what they doing and can't ask a question correctly...

HELP WE'RE GETTING AN ERROR IN OUR CODE WHILE TRYING TO GET DATA FROM YOUR DB... PLZ FIX IT

WTF IS NOT WORKING, WHAT ARE YOU QUERYING, WHAT IS THE ERROR?

**Sends a SQL query but with ? for all the parameters**

WTF..... U PPL ARE IDIOTS.... CAN'T EVEN ASK A QUESTION CORRECTLY OR PROVIDE NECESSARY INFORMATION... CLEARLY YOU HAVE NO IDEA WTF UR DOING..

EVEN GOD CAN'T HELP YOU...

It finally came! Super excited.
Yes it takes amazing pictures even in the dark and the radar is super cool. Can't wait to dig into what I can do with the radar.

Me: "Can you get the user to send us a recent crash dump?"
(Support person forwards my email)
User: "The most recent ones are from November"
Support person: "It seems they haven't had any this month"
Me: (?????!!) "Which November?"

The eventual crash dump was datestamped with today's date.

Some prankster on upwork is trying to swindle me out of paying me because they didn't "hire" me through upwork even though he asked me to send an "example" of my rendition of what I would do for their logo. Once they told me they went with someone else even after performing the requested "example," I promptly asked who to invoice. "They're going to go talk to the boss and see what they can work out."

my boss, recently: "Partner company is complaining about seg-faults in our software" [the system is still in testing, not deployment]

me: "tell me what steps to reproduce the error and I'll fix it"

boss: "I'd like to prevent seg faults from happening no matter what"

...I literally can't even at this point

It's even harder when you use eclipse and you can't figure out what it is trying to tell you...

My professor asked me today why I wanted to build my project using OOP.

This is a 480 level course and I have 2 1/2 years experience building well over 30 projects with OOP. And yes, we have students here who are nervous about the idea of using OOP. Nevermind that I and others took two classes on the topic.

I have hit my dispair event horizon. It has to get better from here. 🤯😬🤬🤬🤮☠️

During my university days, we had a basic programming quiz. One of the questions is to "write a program that will determine if a number is even or not".

An annoying seatmate asked me silently if his answer is correct. Then I saw his window:

=========================
> Enter an even number: 10
> The number is even.
=========================

I told him it's correct.

After the test his answer is marked as wrong.

"You told me it's correct!", he said to me.

I approached the professor, and told him that his answer is correct.

"What if I enter 3?", professor said.

I told him, "User Error".

One thing that really bothers me is that people use use megabyte to mean mebibyte. What makes it even worse is that Windows does it too. It says it shows gigabyte but actually shows gibibyte.

Now imagined my frustration when I saw this D:

What do you think of LinkedIn's quizzes? I passed the JavaScript one but failed JSON... JSON!! Are you fucking serious! How is that even possible!!!

What if told you that the sentence "NEVER ODD OR EVEN" is a palindrome!!!

What the fuck is even this?!

The empty fucking box in the middle!

I am not even angry now. Just frustrated. I have encountered so many visual bugs in iOS now. This is my first iPhone. Tim Apple doesn’t want retain me.

iOS: A beautiful looking OS that shits at times.

Coming back to c++ after far too long in python...

Compiler: "Do you even know what a semicolon is?!"

i hate windows errors so much
there's no information whatsoever, its just "error code 0x696969 lmao something wrong try again later"

what i hate even more is asking microsoft forums what the error code means and being asked if ive tried turning it off and on again

For our robotics team we have a college professor (if that's what you even call it) who is teaching our programming subteam how to code the robot in c++. Whenever we mention git he goes on and on about how git is too confusing and we shouldn't use it even if we used pull requests.

What the actual fuck

THE FUCK MICROSOFT?! HOW COULD YOU FUCK UP ALT+BACKSPACE IN WORD 2016 WHAT IS THIS SHIT SUPPOSED TO DO IT MAKES NO SENSE, YOU CANNOT EVEN UNDO IT WHAT FAGGOT TESTED YOUR UI WHILE BEEING HIGH ON REDMOND DIRT. AND WHICH KIND OF MASTURBATING MONKEY IMPLEMENTED THIS SHIT.

So, I'm supposed to do a project in Haskell that is due next week. It's a group project and it's me and 2 colleagues. Unfortunatelly one of them had to drop college because of some personal problems. I feel bad for him.
The thing is, the other one has no clue what Haskell is. I mean, he has no clue how programming is. He doesn't even know what an array is, like, wtf.
Sure, I can do the work all by myself and take the credits for it. But he's a nice guy and has been asking me to teach him Haskell in my spare time. He even told me to tell the teacher I did the project all by myself.
I'm kind in the middle of an existencial crisis. What should I do?
Life sucks, dam.

The fact that four to eight dollars a week could break me and cause me to lose my job before I've even started is a statement on how bad the american economy is, and what kind of future people have in america: none.

There is none.

What is the best PC spec for development?

Things I mostly work on: Node frameworks, React Native and some Java and C++ (QT)

I know that even a dual core is enough for this but it takes a while even for a webpack build to complete in my current build.

Even more dark theme support.

What the fuck is going on in this picture lol

Epic fail. I use a sleep timer in my music player and it occasionally fails to stop and clear the actual timer. It even perpetuates through when I actually turn off my phone, which is rather quite impressive. This is what I find when I turn my phone back on after the weekend. I don't even know how it's possible to have still been going when my phone is off... 🤔

Some people just don't get it. When you meet friends who are either non technical or very new to programming, all they ask you is what language do you use.

The language is important but not everything. It's what you do with it that matters. Just because you know python, doesn't mean that you can do machine learning. Even simply asking what do I do is better than that!

The language is just a tool! Learn to be language agnostic please. Be a programmer, not a code monkey

What good is a ssh-server when the machine doesn't even connect to the lan? Seriously, this is a fresh version of ubuntu server and i just updated the packages.

Sifting through a React class component that is over 1000 lines long.

When was this written? Not in the 1950s like you might think. Just over 3 months ago.

Kill me.

Android is fucking fucked up.

Why the fuck it takes so much of time to build. And trust me,

React + Android is the worst combination. Can't even understand what the fuck it is trying to say?

And sometimes, no body knows what is wrong with something. Seriously look at the picture, that's the solution sent by the Android lead.

Did you realize the repeatedly at the end. 🦆 What try 🦆 dude.

Fuck. I'm ain't gonna work on this after this project.

What is this even supposed to mean

Co-worker on phone with our manager trying to explain something to him:

Co: Do you even know what a foreigner key is?

M: Yes, but bla bla bla

Ps: The manager doesn’t really know what a foreigner key is 🤦🏻‍♂️

I've been on holiday for almost 2 months now... I don't even know what a sleeping pattern is anymore😭😭

I have school tomorrow... I'll look like a zombie during orientation😂

Why everyone in management wants to know how i solve the bug if you do not even know what is Bootstrap. All that matter is fucking bug is resolved PERIOD

I hate it when suddenly one app icon is missing on the home screen and I cannot even figure out what app I'm missing.

That one moment you create something so magical that you never even intended to write and don't even realise what you have done until after it is done 😮

I'm sure that there is a special kind of hell for people who downvote questions on StackOverflow without even adding a comment or trying to edit the question itself.
I don't understand what the fuck is wrong with people.

I'd probably get laughed at for even mentioning "php"..

But what is the best framwork for getting started with PHP to build some complex site?

I have seen some here talking good about either codeignitor or laravel. Not sure.

If the code is running, then it must be doing what I want. Right guys? Is it normal to be this paranoid even after lots of runs of the code without crashing?

We write our feature specifications in Gherkin, so it is clear to every member of the team (even nondevs GASP!) exactly what each feature should do.

SO WHY THE FUCK, AFTER BUILDING THE FEATURE, DO I GET REVIEWS FROM THE pRoDuCt MaNaGeRs, SHOWING ME THEY WANT SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR THE FEATURE. YOU WROTE THE FUCKING FEATURE DID YOU HAVE A CHANGE OF HEART MID THOUGHT YOU IDIOT!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'M SO SICK OF IT I'M SICK OF WORKING 12 HOURS ON A FRIDAY FOR YOUR STUPID SHIT

One of my pet peeves is coming across a post on stackoverflow with an awesome answer and even a comment from the OP saying this is exactly what I needed but it's not marked as the answer. Really? It's longer to write the comment.

WHY THE FUCK THE NEED TO USE Visual Studio.

Well, in my university, for some fuckin dumb reason we are taught to develop a simple fuckin web form in asp.net.
Thing is, VS is so fuckin powerful that it's a huge overkill for such a simple thing. What is even worse is that, WE DONT FUCKIN EVEN CODE IN C# we just drag FUCKIN COMPONENTS HERE AND THERE without learning a single thing
But okay let's move on. I'm a linux guy, which mean, I CANT FUCKIN USE VS AND CANT EVEN PRACTICE THOSE DUMB SHITS and that means i won't fuckin remember a single thing.
FUCK THIS SHIT

> # Changelog
>
> ## x.y.z
>
> - Added something
> - Fixed something
> - Other changes

'Other changes'?! What other changes! Either tell me what they are or don't even add it, considering usually not every little thing is listed in the first place..

That feeling when you’re working on writing a program to take differently based numbers, parse the input character by character, and return the value in different bases (dec, binary, hex, etc), get stuck, ask your partner to take a look at it and their response is along the lines of “What are you even DOING?! That doesn’t even make sense.”

What the hell is wrong with the browser on iOS....
For Christ sakes almost no input attributes work. I have a Sign Up feature that validates passwords with a pattern attribute; doesn't work, required attribute; doesn't work, input type number; doesn't work.
What the fuck is wrong with this thing. Even Internet Explorer knows what those attributes means. Absolute joke now i need to implement it manually. Fuck off apple.

I'm working on a Web API for retrieving informarion of some sort (can't speak as it is a work in progress😝).
Before starting to work on this project all the experience I had was Desktop (C#, VB) and some SQL but now I'm learning so much more: REST, Asp.net core, nosql, GraphQL and more.
Even if I can't finish this project, still what I'm learning is even more valuable

This is not even funny anymore. This Windows get dumber with every release? Nothing about what it does.. or how is the progress..

Why is supporting Windows Server 2003 in the project requirements?!?! Isn't that like fucking 13 years ago?!?! The support for it has even ended like 3 years ago. Also, why are people using Windows to host their servers? Do people know what Linux is???

Just received this really weird email. Probably spam, but why even bother when there is no link or attachment? Maybe it is encrypted... 🤔 What do you think? Anyways, the server has SSH enabled anyone care to bruteforce? :^)

What things do people around you keep repeating related to programming?

For me it is surely "linux is soooo permissive", which is true but still funny when people start saying it unrelated and simply as a mean to jokingly explain why something doesn't work how is supposed to. Even if the problem is not even on a computer

So Today I completed an android app I have been building for like 2 months then this asshole who does education looks at the app and says "This simple thing is what you have been working on for 2 months?".
This is a guy who wanted may help sometimes back on a problem with his phone when I told him to reboot the phone he even couldn't understand what rebooting is.
Such guys usually piss me off very bad. The fool even doesn't know even what coding is.
I really hate such ignorant fools who think creating anything in a computer is a very simple task.
Day ruined by this dude I feel like beating the shit out of him.
Guys who have been in this situation how do you deal with such fools.

Well Its internship season in the college now... I am a developer and companies will come and wont even look at us(the devs) .. Because apparently all they want is data structures(sigh)... What should I do?? ?

.Dispose();
.Close();
.Dispose();

what an idiot! and his profile said he had 4 years of experience...

oh, yes, and that thing of not using arrays...
I have even more code from this guy, but one picture is enough

what have I done to deserve this? 😫
the connection is so shitty I can't even rant about it properly... 😵

Argghhhhhh!

Non-unique Multi-Index killing me...

Even when there is no duplicates found in the data frame.
What the hell am I missing..

What the fuck is going on ???

How the "intermediate" c# developers can't do a simple null safe average of even numbers in an array ?!

Why they still write loops and shit (without any nul checks ofc) while it can be done in 1 line :

array?.Where(x => x % 2 == 0).DefaultIfEmpty(0).Average() ?? 0

WHY ? Even Junior c# dev is supposed to know that shit

What a fucking piece of shit is WIX?

It's even worse than WordPress.

Is it just me or has the usefulness of Google search been SEO'd to death? At this point only Bing and even freaking Brave Search are providing results that are related to what I'm looking for. Even Gigablast does a better job than Google sometimes (props for open sourcing the backend, Gigablast maintainer guy)

Just got sad news this week, we could work less and earn less or after a few days some of us might even lose their job, the economy is not stable because of covid 19. I have mixed feelings about what is going on.

I hope, that the next time you ask for a raise, they ask me what I think... So that I can say "well it cannot even go check a database to see what it has at its dispoal... Demanded 2 big resources stop their work to listen to his fake problem statement.... Only to realize he didn't even check the fucking database..." please move this person back to being a junior... This is basic level shit man..🦄

What do you guys think about backend developers who design&implement POST requests with URL parameters? Is this even legal? 🙄

Haven't ranted about anything for quite a while... So, is everything perfect in my work and life ? Or, is something reallllly wrong that I haven't even realized what it is ??

I was just looking new and lesser known programming languages. Then I came to Rust.
"Rust manages memory at compile time"
What?😵 How is that even possible?

Senior dev on our team is concerned that we are raising standards above and beyond what we need to deliver the project.

For 6m+ this project has delivered little, but what there is is full of bugs that got through testing, and no standards (coding or otherwise) in place at all.

I hate dealing with people who preach “good enough” is fine but won’t accept they aren’t even close to doing “good enough”

"I don't need a heavy IDE. I just need a good text editor"

What even is the distinction anymore? I use VSCode and I use Eclipse. At least as far as i can see they are damn near equivalent. Is there really such an important distinction?

The Angular 2 documentation taught how I must split everything into a gazillion different files, to separate the languages. Now I'm learning React and JSX, and I'm starting to question my very existence in the universe...

Is this really android 12? My phone is stuck at android 9, and I'm using simulator to test an app but wtf is this? its like the cheap copy of an iPhone settings :S

What is this even the stretching when we hit edge of scroll :S

This thing looks like when Windows Phone meets iOS

Email this morning: "Program X is not working".

Wow thanks. That's not fucking helpful at all. We have like 100 different applications and I've only ever seen about half of them so far and have no clue how to even use it or what is supposed to do.

WHY IN THE WORLD IS PHPSTORMS CTRL + Y SET TO DELETE A FUCKING LIIIIIINE. WHAT THE HEEEEEEEEEEELL

can't even undo it man. this suuuuuucks.

My project is losing in one week: product owner, team leader and to make matters even worse our best dev also leaves. FUCK ME. We will see what happens when shit hits a fun.

The customer may always be right, but you are not a customer, you are a client. As a client you have come to us because you have no idea what you are talking about. Rarely do you even know what it is you even want. So how can you be right about something you know nothing about. I want you to be happy with the end product; I emotionally need it as it determines how I value myself as a developer. So trust me when I tell you that you are wrong. That is why you are my client. To give you what you never knew you wanted.

Every once in a while I find an app that is so intuitive I wonder what it is we're doing wrong... It's like getting into a new car and immediately knowing where the headlights, wipers, and radio controls are without even looking.

WHY is cmake such a total shitstain?

Nothing about it works. literally nothing. I can't even make it run a script and do probably the single most fundamental notion of what it means to run a script, which is display its fucking output.

What the fuck is this even supposed to be

Yeah, I have experience qith qorst CS teacher.
Considering that teacher as function (object) no matter what we pass never give results... It was anti boolean function can't even decide true or false because lack of info and throws any exception even on success..
It was like getting tons of errors when code is 100% perfect

Hate it when I'm sincerely interested in a subject, proceed to ask someone who knows about it expecting to get an interesting conversation, a recommendation where to learn more o something, and all I get is a fucking generic answer which seems to be taken from a FAQ, and even worst, that isn't even related to what I asked 😑

What I "discovered" recently is, that Android will sometimes update certain apps even if you have auto-update disabled in Play Store.

Yes, just like that. I am not sure what exactly triggers the update, but it is certainly possible.

Just now I have seen that my Netflix app got auto-updated. Which is not a big deal in itself. But taking control out of the user's hands IS a big deal.This needs to stop. ❎

So my girlfriend was trying to find another word for "whispered" and I just had to screenshot this ad...

Could someone tell me what its trying to actually scam people into?

Went out for a night of food and drinks and came across one of those little screens/kiosks with what I assume is Windows 10 and TeamViewer running o.o and the credentials open to the public. What makes it even worse is that all the screens in the area I live are connected to the same account. D:

Cleaning up code warnings in a 3rd party piece of software and found a function that was returning a pointer to a local variable, who wrote this piece of shit?!

Worst documentation I have ever dealt with is my own. I have gone back to programs, looked at it, and went, what the heck is even this. I've broken business critical programs just because I didn't know the extent of what I was changing. I've gotten better, because of events like that. OMG!!!!