QA: There is a bug in your program, it doesn't work !

DEV: What? It is working on my machine, let me show you *opens app*

QA: Well, then I will tell our clients to use your machine every time they want the app

DEV: ...

Boss - gives tasks to me. Timeline: 10 days.

Me - work hard and finish the solution in 3 days.

Boss- wtf is this. Do it properly.

Me - chills for 15 days. Submit the same earlier solution after that.

Boss - yes this looks nice now! Much better than your earlier work!

Me - dude seriously what kind of stuff do you smoke before coming to work?

Before you're hired:
1. A binary tree?
2. Currying?
3. Higher-order function?
4. How does event loop work?
5. What is prototype?
6. What is encapsulation?
7. Can you draw an algorithm?

After you're hired:
1. Hey, can you add auth token and login to our app?

GF: Why are working so late?
Me: Because no matter what I do, everything is working correctly.
GF: What....

The only career when you have to work late because everything is working like it should (cannot reproduce an issue).

<person>: What do you do?
<me>: I'm a developer.
<person>: What?
<me>: A computer programmer.
<person>: **blank stare**
<me>: I work with computers.
<person>: Ohhh. You work with computers! There is something wrong with mine, will you look at it for me?
<me>: I don't do hardware.
<person>: **blank stare**
<me>: I don't fix computers.
<person>: What?
<me>: **walks away**

This is what I have to do at work; not literally.

I finally get in the mood to work on my side project and GUESS WHAT? THE API IM USING FOR IT IS FUCKING DOWN 😂🔫

Take a break folks,
From work,
From code,
From tension,
From bugs,

Take a car, drive to the country side, breathe the fresh air, ride horses,
Have a meal, stay for a day or two, without internet, and then Be back to work.

This is what we all need now :D

What do you guys do when you get bored at work?

this is what I do:

1. Drink Water
2. Stare at the code
3. Go to Bathroom
4. repeat

So today the Manager told my coworker that "going to the toilet" is an excuse. We all work from home, "eating", "shiting", and anything other than work is considered excuses.

What in the bloody fuckery fuck is this?

My co-worker convinced me to post my setup up since this is what I'm using when I work from home, or go on a sprint. I'm way more productive here than the office! Maybe they shpuld just let me work from home indefinitely 😎

I like to think of this as my happy place :)

When someone at work says your Java multi threaded code is too advanced for other people to understand so you have to dumb it down. What part of constant learning in software they don't understand?

Me: Listen dude, the code worked perfectly and all the test cases passed so I'm done here.
Also me: What is this? What the fuck is this? Why does this work? What witchcraft is this?
*Screams internally*

I see this is true.
I am learning software development I understand what the code does but the most difficult part is to think and think and think what code to implement and how you're going to code it to make the program work.

Management had the idea to have a hackathon on saturday. Everybody should gather ideas what to do on this day, but top priority is to have fun.

In the end, management decided that we should work on tasks from our backlog.

Yeah... unpaid work on saturday... sounds like fun

So, my wife is in the hospital with two of the kids for an annual checkup. Should be nothing to worry about but still it's stressful and I want to be there.

I'd booked the day off (until the end of the week) and last week I got told, you've taken too many holidays, just the Friday is approved.

Ok, fine, I'll do some extra hours work from home and be there for the appointment. But fuck no, they schedule an "important" client meeting this morning and I'm required to attend.

TWO FUCKING HOURS and I contributed a sum total of 2 sentences which could have been filled in just as well by the other developer on the call

Just another reason I'm happy to be interviewing at other companies.

After weeks of hard work creating a website:

It looks so beautiful 😭

*opens in a different browser*

WHAT THE HECK! why is all my divs flying here and there !

*opens in mobile*

f*#k this

When I say I want to work for EA, this is what I mean.

You get paid to watch and analyze athletes. Fucking awesome job.

When your product manager is too nagger and don't let you work with his questions if you finished the tasks or not.. this what happen to the product.

1. When you are inexperienced, probably you’ll need to accept any job.
2. Learn and discover what you prefer to working on.
3. Become an expert on you desired field.
4. You can choose where you would like to work.
Remember friends: Life is to short to work for an asshole.

After deciding to do what I love every day nothing feels like work any more, because continuous change and improvement is what I live for.

That is all. ✌🏼

I need to explain to a client how pc work. I use this image. Now every time my client explain what a pc is start talking with "it worked like a WC"... What I have done?

when you work for a place that has plain text passwords in the db. lol
I asked head of department if he knew what salting/hashing passwords was and he said no.... is this real life?

Just curious, how is it like to work as a developer. I mean, as a profession and not a hobby or freelancing.

From devRant, so far I know that you work in an office, the managers and bosses are assholes, and people always write unmanageable and undocumented code.

What else is it like? Do you get to work alone or do you have to work with people? Do you stay there all day long?

I know its still going to be a while for me, but I want to know how it will be like.

After doing the work he requested as he wanted he was not happy. So i thought we sit and discuss what he didn't like. I was so wrong.

...
Boss: "...you know what I think you are: a fraud; Masquerading as a developer. The database design you have given is shit. The template I gave you I did in 1 hour. You took half the day."

He gave a simple template to use and he told me to come up with an ecommerce db design via downloading PrestaShop and seeing what is relevant to us.

Me: "what did I do wrong?"

Boss: "you think I don't know what PK means in database design? Why the fuck did you put this here."

Me: "can I expl..."

Boss: "I'm not finished, you been here half the month and what work have you to show for it..."

Me: "I have..."

Boss: "You shut up when I can speaking"

Me: "ok"

Boss: "You have no work to show for the time you have been here. I tell you what to do. I want someone who is proactive. My friend, you will do the work I tell you to do, you understand?"

Me: "yes but can I just say that I have been doing your work I have the contact the various developers as you..."

Boss: " You shut up when your boss is speaking. Can you do this work? (Slightly long pause)

Me: "I can do it. But, I have done the bits of the work you said I do. I was h..."

Boss "don't give me bullshit stories...you haven't done the work..."

Me: "But you have spoken"

Boss:" You know what Im giving you 1 weeks notice if you are not able to do the work. Can you do it?"

That moment!!! I was literally shaking I could have high fived his face with his laptop.

Me: "yes I can"
Boss: "Then get the fuck out of my sight and do it"

Is coding a hobby for you? Or is it work? For me its a hobby! What about you?

I started saying 'yes' to every opportunity in life. Long story short, I have 3 websites, 2 logos, a couple of leaflets and 2 non-profit websites due yesterday. Whiskey with cereal never tasted better at 8 AM!

Huge dev-team presentation today with YouTube livestream link available to all clients.

Management wanted us to test our laptops, connections and cables to the bone, so that every computer will work 100% while the stream is running.

You know what didn't work?
The goddamn streaming camera device.

Me: Boss, i am not qualified for this. This is something totally different that what i do.
Boss: Just do what you can.
* Me does something which seems to work*
-- A few months or even years later:
Boss: Our distributed systems don't longer work. What happened?
Me, after checking different system: Oh, there is a key that expired. I didn't know this key had an expire date. So they can no longer connect.

Turns out we have to visit every remote system (driving distance of a few 100's km) and set a new key. We couldn't do it remotely since we lost access.

Maybe, just maybe, when your employee says he isn't qualified for a task, listen and search someone that know what he is doing.

Supposed to get paid from a project. After all the hard work I submitted the project and this is what the client says:

"Thanks"

😕

Things you hear from developers 5 minutes before demo to the whole Management Board.

- "... Does this button work... Nope... Oh well..."
- "What the hell is THAT!?"
- "Um... Is it supposed to look like this?"
- "Please tell me you didn't just merge this!?!"

1. Aim is to complete work as soon as possible and not worrying about good coding practices.

2. Senior Engineers take credits for everything that Junior Engineers work on. And that Junior Engineers are just shadows

3. Credits? Team lead and senior engineers take. Complains/issues/delay in product delivery? Junior Engineers are blamed

4. Testing? Test cases? What are they? Why do we need them? That's what my team lead asked.

5. Take work without even knowing what it is or what is to be done and then just keep carry forwarding it.

6. Junior engineer dares to point out any mistake, he/she is very rude and is taunted forever

And many more.....

I feel strange, because I don't have nothing to rant about... I work with awesome people, and my life is not so terrible... What the fuck I'm doing on devRant?

Uhm... maybe I'm the boss who everyone is ranting about...

GUYS I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE:

Apparently Windows Explorer is an internet browser and a lot of websites only work on it

I fucking hate this dude, he CLEARLY doesn't know what he's talking about

Friday Eve: Closing eclipse project happily at work. Everything works sorta fine.

Monday morning: Opening eclipse project again. Everything is like i left it. "Main class could not be found."

What the fuck eclipse?

FUCK SAFARI!!!!! I am developing our new company website and have a deadline tomorrow. It is built with flexbox WHICH SHOULD WORK EVERYWHERE BY NOW. The new website works FINALLY GREAT in all browsers now and then I just tested it in Safari (which I did not do before) on my mac and SO MANY THInGs doNT WORK! WHATTA FCUK?? I EVEN GOT EVERY THING TO WORK IN EDGE?? Is safari the new explorer?! What happened?!

Drinking is all fun and games until you need to come in to work next morning." The fuck is a JavaScript" is what my brain is at the moment.

<rant>why the fuck do live demos NEVER work properly when a day ago the code was fine?? What is this bullshit sorcery!?</rant>

I got told once that "You don't need pay if you love your job" - what kind of bullshit logic is that? ( I work as a volunteer programmer on a community project, but the game is for-profit and making a fair amount ). People these days...

The thing is that I have told my family a few times what I really do at work. But I have to be honest: explaining what a backend dev does is hard without showing a GUI 😂

Sometimes I even think for myself: wtf am I doing here... 😁

I am amazed how specific everyone is being about security vulnerabilities at their employers. Hopefully no one social engineers what company you work at.

As the first and only dev in our family[including relatives], I find it really hard to answer them whenever they ask me about what it is that I actually do at work.

Today, the security department stopped our new project and told us to work on the last project instead because of a top-secret security flaw.

Problem is, they are not allowed to tell us what the problem is. FML

Me: there it is, app is complete and work correctly
Friend: What is this 5 warnings?
Me: It's nothing just ignore them
Friend: If you are a true developer fix these warnings
Me: (after 5 hours) compile..... 14 Error, 😡 fuck you I want my warnings back

"Get a job doing what you love, you'll never work a day in your life" they said

What they didn't tell us is that it would lead us to babysitting/troubleshooting continuous deployments at 3 am on a Sunday with a black Irish coffee and a manic look on our faces

Several minutes waiting for site to work after clicking on "required cookies only". Is this really what privacy laws were aiming for?

Biggest sin is writing code without taking into account clean coding and just doing what ever is necessary to make the code work

What the actual fuuuuuuck?! Google, can you just stop making improooovments on ui that is making your apps work/look like shit?!
Fuck I'm pissed.. 😒

I don't get what people don't understand about how monthly bills work.
"But I already paid you once!"
"Yeah, for the work we did two months ago. This is the bill for the work we did last month."
"... But I already paid you once!"
"Yes, and then you asked us to do more work"
"... ... But I already paid you once! Why are you trying to rip me off!?!"
*sigh*

I was really surprised how much hardcore work there is on freelancer.com. At first I asked myself what hardcore coding would look like. Then I realized... 😥 Only females wanted.

I prefer to work while everyone is asleep, drink black coffee, low-fi music, and find a way to appreciate what I'm working on.

I got some documents from my ISP which are locked with a password which is suppose to be my birthday.

My birthday does not work.

rage.png

So lets see what is faster: their service calling me back or my script trying all possible dates.

When your Program prints a PDF two times. What the Client thinks what happend:
myDocument.printTwoTimes();

When you review your Code:
This shouldn't even print once! How is any of this even working?

Happend to me today at work :D

My friends netspeed. Must be nice.... attached in the comments is what I’ve got to work with. It’s sad when my mobile hotspot is faster than my fucking wall connection.

Headhunter: what is your motivation to work here
Me: you contacted me about this role
Headhunter: *sigh*
Me: 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️

Hmmmmmm i just got offered a position for a php developer........but something that was not listed in the original application was that it is expected of one to work with wordpress. My wordpress experience is limited to creating simple themes.

I don't like cms systems also. But the position pays really good.

What to do what to do hmmm

Dfox is so lucky I bet devs just tell him specifically what the bug is instead of screaming

IT Doesn't Work FIX IT BLURFHBDN

I don't deal directly with customers....

What is this hate towards fullstack developers ? I suppose more you know the better ? I think you can specialize later, based on your work task.

Fullstack is the way for learning addicts as me.

When you get a call into the helpdesk:

" It doesn't work!! "

What doesn't fucking work???!!!!??? And who the hell is this anyway?

Getting feedback:

- It doesn't work.
Replying within 20 minutes:
- What is not working? Can you be more specific?
Auto reply:
- Out of office. I'll be back [two weeks from now]

FFFFFFFUUUUU

Attendance at the daily standup [related to a project that hasn't even started yet] is mandatory!
What did you work on yesterday?
An unrelated project.
What are you working on today?
An unrelated project.
What are you working on for the next 3-6 months?
You guessed it: An unrelated project.
Any blockers?
This is interfering with an unrelated project, but when Agile says "jump", you say "how high?"!

HOW TO PROGRAM(in four easy steps) :

1. Google the F*cking Problem.
2. Open a Stackoverflow link.
3. Copy and paste the code.
4. If it didn't work, goto step 2.
If it did work, goto step 1
(you didn't think you were done.. did you?)

FAQ
Q: What if there is no code?
A: Then it is impossible.

What a joke PayPal's so called testing environment is!

Last time I tried to use it, PayPal told me not to try because it doesn't work.

I'm about to take my first real vacation in about a year. One of the things I'm most looking forward to? Time to work on personal projects.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?

Quick question: Does your mom understand what you do at work?

Mine still thinks I'm doing some Marketing-Shit whereas I tried to explain multiple times to her what IT and eCommerce is...

One thing I will never be able to stop is asking "why" if somebody tells me "X doesn't work", even though every second asshole takes it literal and tells me "I don't know why it doesn't work", instead of just mentally giving it a second and telling "why it doesn't work" by showing a screenshot or a message, because that's more likely what I meant.

MOCHA YOU FUCKING BITCH, THERE IS A DONE() CALLBACK BEING CALLED IN THIS TEST, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM??? I WILL RAPE YOUR FUCKING SOURCE CODE. But really mocha test, why u no work so we can both move on with our lives 😣😦😞

I not sure what is worst, an arrogant client full of demands or anti professional collegues who don't respect you and try to subvert your work

What is it about SQL that invites people to do things in utterly ridiculous ways? The amount of pointless repetition and complete lack of clarity in the query scripts I get handed is irritating at the best of times - without any documentation (or even a bare comment sometimes) how am I supposed to work out what you were doing?

When small things get big and don't work and you wonder for hours what is wrong with your code ... only to find out the problem is in the framework you use.

dumb question...
what fun things can you do with a router running linux arm7 with telnet accsess?

apt is not installed, cURL and rpm is.
and sudo doesn't seem to work, but su.

Documenting what failed and what did not work is equally important as documenting things which worked out ...

2 weeks before release of my App.
Have implemented nearly all major features.

Everytime I tell myself ah I can work tomorrow. What am I doing instead? Fucking Gaming lol.

Motivation is a bitch...

Do you think that "Work From Home" or "Remote Work" tends to reduce the work life boundary for the employees?

What I think is that Managers feel fine pinging employees at any time of the day. And as employees either you get good at ignoring messages or work outside the working hours.

"The great thing about personal work is that it can shape your commercial work. Clients see what you create for yourself and that can be the starting point for a new project, which closes the cap between the work you love making and the work you get paid for." - Gemma O’Brien

You can work from home! Heck, you can work from anywhere in the world... we just want you to be at the client 65% of the time!

Whaaaaaa... what? Are you fucking kidding me? How is that helping me avoid having to sit in traffic?

*thing does not work*
> Me: Ok, see, this isn't working properly, when I do this...
*The thing works properly*
>Me: Sweet, this is what I needed! Thanks man!
*My friend looks at me in confusion*

Left my previous cushy job for a start-up and a paycut. Can't work in a project that still uses CVS and being the only one who knows what git is.

reddit is down. what am I supposed to do, work?

This is what happens when you spend Christmas with your work friends 🤣😂

"customers don't know what they want until we've shown them"

Is it just me that feels this a lot? I build a lot of tools for my own use at work, and then suddenly everyone wants it after seeing what they can do...

What to do when you're 8 hours away from home at work and all you want to do is netflix and snuggle in bed 😞

!rant what do you ranters do when you're not ranting or coding? Me? I work on cars. Car in the picture is my gf's mini.

Person: Let's rub this lamp

* Genie comes out of the lamp *
Genie: You have three wishes. You know the rules. What do you want?

Person: Can you open this jar? It's so tight

Genie: What? That's it? That's a wish? Someone call an ambulance, I'm having a heart attack

PS: Now replace the Genie character with me and replace the person character with my manager. This is the kind of work I do at work and what my manager and leadership team asks of me

what is the purpose of a degree?

what value does it convey?

isnt it better if you just show all the work and projects youve done on github as proof of what kind of knowledge do you actually have? plus where you worked before on linkedin? thats not enough, right? a paper needs to decide how much knowledge you have? is that it?

Hahaha under the gun lol

its 2:30 here and ill have to wake up for work at 7:00 and im trying to figure out what the hell is redux

love helping users that can describe their problem and then we have the "other" side of users, the life sucking golems of collective stupidity.

You get "software does not work!" and asks for error message or description of what doesn't work and get same response "it does not work".

After a few rounds in the "what is wrong support circle" it ends with user has changed PC to one were the software is not installed...

"it does not work" no effing shit sherlock you want me to install some IQ with it?

Found file called 'bullshit' in my work folder with list of packages and no comment whatsoever. I wonder what did my past self wanted to do with those packages... What was this list for? Sounds important. And back then (month ago) I thought it was obvious. Sometimes I wonder what games is my past self playing with me...

After about 7 hours continuous work in any one day, I’ve kinda had enough and noticed that work beyond this point is usually shit. I stopped trying and think fuck it now. Deadlines are mainly bollocks anyway. My life is a lot better because of it. Don’t do today what you can put off til tomorrow.Who’s with me?

I work for a big bank. I'm going to say pretty much the entire Support team is incompetent.

Oh something went wrong? Escalate to devs... cuz we have no idea wtf to do and don't have the most basic technical problem solving skills...

Bunch of useless monkeys... btw guess what time it is now? And what I'm doing?

How hard is it to tell me what kind of error do you receive when a program doesn’t work?!

Just telling me ”it gives an error” doesn’t give me much to work with..

Okah guys, here is the deal. I have two ideas in my head. I just need to design them and start coding. Problem is I can't find motivation. I'm trying to do this for years now. I guess I'm not motivated enough. I work about 9 hours a day. What should I do to get motivated. What do you guys do?

rushed an arch install in a vm with 2gb of ram
there is no menu bar
wtf
my mouse dontveven work after i login
what the fuck
imtitred gutds

After working with a bunch of people it occurred to me that almost anyone can work and learn for most IT positions. This is something that most people will realize, especially if they work with newbies that learn on the go. There are exceptions of course, but most companies are just making crud apps with their business logic.

What I wonder then is, why is it that the way hiring is done seems to be completely against this idea? Rather than whining about recruiters and bad interviews, I am curious about why this is so common. What is it that a lot of companies think or see that make their hiring process so bad or convoluted?

DevRant has increased my asshole-ery. Reading work design docs and I keep thinking, "really? That's your choice? Obviously this is a joke. You expect us to do what?? In what timeframe?"

Our pm is awesome always keeps things on track, gives suggestions and stuff but she got assigned to a different department. Now we have no idea what to work on. Feeling lost.

1. Finish what is left over from 2017
2. Get some experience with machine learning
3. Finish internship and work as a normal full-time dev

So here I'm, going for an interview but I'm not allowed to show my previous work, since it might give compatitive edge to the organisation interviewing me. But still it does not matter if my supervisor boasts about the work in public forums like conferences.....what kind of secrecy is this :'(

Seriously,
when a company asks to recruit a developer, but only female developer for a regular post.
What IS exactly the work to do? 🤔

Just love the customizability of phpstorm. I can work as minimal i need !
PS . I use also sublime, vim and atom based on what i need, but phpstorm is my main tool :D

Android is fucking fucked up.

Why the fuck it takes so much of time to build. And trust me,

React + Android is the worst combination. Can't even understand what the fuck it is trying to say?

And sometimes, no body knows what is wrong with something. Seriously look at the picture, that's the solution sent by the Android lead.

Did you realize the repeatedly at the end. 🦆 What try 🦆 dude.

Fuck. I'm ain't gonna work on this after this project.

What the f*** is this gradle in Android Studio??
M getting tired with this error. Whenever m starting studio it stuck on waiting for build to finish project.. I already done with checking offline work still it's not working.. What the f*** should I do with this error??

What is this? A flow chart for learning how algorithms work?
Nope! I call it: dynamic timetable 😎

If you are a developer and you are proud of the work you contribute whilst remaining open minded, I applaud you. If you are a developer and you are overly proud of what you do, and you believe the work you contribute to a software project caries more value than the work another developer contributes, then go fuck yourself.

I am sick and tired of working on teams with people who are self-righteous. What you bring to the table is important, but it isn't the only thing brought to the table, so stop acting like what you brought to the table is the best thing on the fucking table.

What makes it worse is when someone disagrees with your work and you aren't willing to take any of it. You deny their opinion as if yours is vastly superior. YOU need to improve your teamwork skills, YOU need to stop being so arrogant and self-righteous, YOU are the problem.

What the hell is wrong with the browser on iOS....
For Christ sakes almost no input attributes work. I have a Sign Up feature that validates passwords with a pattern attribute; doesn't work, required attribute; doesn't work, input type number; doesn't work.
What the fuck is wrong with this thing. Even Internet Explorer knows what those attributes means. Absolute joke now i need to implement it manually. Fuck off apple.

You're working on a project, your boss has set you tasks to complete. You complete all the tasks and make pull requests of all the work you've done. Your boss is busy and you don't know what to do next? What do you do? Is it unethical to work on personal projects in work hours, because you're not being paid for that? How do you find other stuff to do?

Programming excel macros is the worst thing one could do to himself. VBA is the most cancerous anderen inconsistent language I had the "pleasure" to work with. I have problems like the following all the time for no apparent reason. For example: you script something, test is and everything is working just fine and dandy. Next day when you run the script, guess what...i doesnt work anymore. For no apparent reason what so ever. Maybe its just me, but i just want to hang myself working with it.
Anyone else has had such "Love story" like mine?

Boss says: Why is our email not working get it to work again.

Me: What the fuck? Only because I am the computer guy does not mean I can make wine out of water.

So what exactly is it like working as a developer?

I'm still in the learning phase but I can't seem to picture what exactly it is you'll be doing daily if you get hired.

Is it like constant coding? But like, the site is already made and is huge.

Or is it like making new stuff? But then like, there's already a big company site.

It's what I wanna do but I honestly can't imagine how it will work different from doing it for yourself

What your boss is really saying when you're about to leave work and he says "get this done before tomorrow morning"

There is a lot of talk regarding IDE themes but what about your console?
>At home
Green text black background bash on Centos
>Work
Green text black background DOS prompt

We were forced to work from home since our region is under "Enhanced Community Quarantine". I brought my work computer at home so I don't need to set up shit on my personal computer. After 2 days, I lost my internet connection and I can't contact my fucking ISP, their office is closed and their customer service doesn't exist. I am now under No Work No Pay policy. Fucking what the fuck.

Maturity is day dreaming of wanting to work on a big side project, having a whole afternoon where no one is at the office, but still working on what you're supposed to do.

It's also extremely boring.

Say what you want about imposter syndrome - I just realized why I'm cut out for this line of work.

My intelligence is artificial.

Why do corporate douchebags keep hiring fucking cheap ass local hardware companies? What is this mysterious fucking attraction they have towards shitty IT?

My fucking phone literally has more RAM than my work laptop. I want to go home earlier just so I can get some actual work done on my non retarded personal laptop.

What is windows actually looking for when it's "looking for a solution", it's like a kid trying their hardest to spell a word. There's a chance it'll work, but realistically there is no hope.

I got a rubber duck that can say what my code is doing wrong! Well, actually it is my brother that just gives me advice on how I can make my code work lol

You know pipeless, what this site is built on, actually looks like a pretty cool platform to work with.

Anyone used it? What was your experience?

(every time I end a post on questions like these, it always ends up *crickets*).

Looking for development work in my country Fiji is really hard. I really don't know what my options are.

What I absolutely hate the most of my workflow is to hand over my code for review to other developers.
I know it is important to prevent errors and to get feedback from them to improve, but I'm far from being self-confident and I'm afraid of showing others my work, regardless of the fact that nobody said anything mean about my work.

Rant

Team lead has no idea whats going in project , who is doing what work , nothing at all. Come to our team once a week and got award for successfully managing the project.
Real bullshit

anyone who says women gossip don't pay enough attention to guys, specially when they talk about women. what is it to me that you don't think x girl dresses well or that this aspect of her is unattractive? we're at work, it's not tinder

What is it like to work for respected software companies? Most of my career I've been doing bullshi@ work I started to hate the entire field. Is there hope out there?

I used to work in IT support during my training, this is the most accurate description of the job:
If everything just works people will be like "what do we pay you guys for?" And if something doesn't work: "what do we pay you guys for?" ...*sigh*

Indie game devs: I have a couple of questions for you guys, sorry for my naivity and the subjectivity of some of the questions.

Is it as fun as it sounds?
Do you work as a team?
What tech/language do you use?
What platform/os do you produce games for?
Is your primary income from making games?

Im asking because I would like to get into it, but want to get a realistic view of what it's like.

Thanks guys. Please also take this chance to post your work.

What is the point of working on a team in an open work environment if the only interaction I have with them is during our twice-weekly stand up?

"We don't have a responsive layout so just do what you think is best"

(builds responsive layout)

"This responsive layout doesn't work as we expected"

(sends 5 pages of notes on how mobile layout should work)

Working on something...

-Hun?! Why the hell doesn't it work?

Attempt a few fixes...

-Still doesn't work? Damn what am i doing wrong?

Attempt other changes...

-Why is it still not working!?

Debug step by step, validate my values are fine...

-Why does my output not correspond to my values!?! What the hell is this black magic!?

Rebuild the same solution for the 5th time...

-...Why does it work now...

Oh, you've found a work around for your browser caching? No problem, here's DNS caching so you can fuck with your code again... and not know what the issue is

~ Sincerely, ISP

This cat is looking at me like how my manager looks at me when I say am gonna work a few extra hours of work because I like what I do...

Am the one who gave her the milk 😅

Working with Swift & Kotlin again, feels good to work with them, although I did enjoy working with Typescript, but React Native is just not fun to work with ....

Is it just me or does everyone hesitate a lot about what programming language to pick and work on the most? 😑😬

mother fucking is this joke I work on everything and credit goes to PM. Is this is a joke? What pm will do if developer doesn’t develop then she will just blame I got bad developer.

What are your thoughts about Elon Musk, is he really worried about AI or is this just a business strategy ? I mean I am a huge fan, love his work, but he wants to be the ruler and saver of the Universe.

Sending a request to link accounts.
Response: {
errorCode: 200009,
errorMessage: 'Accounts Linked'
}

Wait what? So I checked the docs and this is actually how it is supposed to work... >_<

Quality != more work + less talk

Quality = more talk resulting in less work.

That makes no sense mathematically.

“Let’s talk more about shit before we create shit”.

That’s a little better.

“Let’s talk more so we don’t create shit”.

Getting closer.

“Let’s talk more about what is needed till we all know what is best before we program a damn machine?”

...This is going nowhere fast.

Okay fuck it. Let’s just code some stuff. It’s more enjoyable.

Really not in the mood for work.

But since that is not an acceptable reason to ask for a day off, I wonder what excuses I can make to get out of working today... 🤔

Me: "I have sent my resignation letter, What happens to my Saturday duty, which will be converted to Vacation Leave?"

HR:"Vacation Leave is for employees who have rendered for 1 year only."

Me:"Then what happens to my Saturday work?"

HR: 🤷‍♀️

FUCK YOU, FUCK THAT COMPANY. I HAD TO WORK FOR SATURDAY BECAUSE IT GAVE ME BENEFITS, BUT INSTEAD I HAVE TO WORK WITH NO PAY!

It's amazing that we had to explain to an offshore API dev how timezones work. You'd think they know what it is by being in a different timezone, think again.

There will always be times when you will need to understand/modify horribly written code, or have to work with a fellow "programmer" who is clueless about what programming actually is.

In such situations, not losing your cool is a necessary evil.

Working on a project in which the work is planned around what I'm already good at, isn't much use.

Yes, the person who is paying for the project, would want only someone with experience (good experience) to work on the project.

But really I'd like to work on stuff which will be challenging (in terms of learning new stuff). So yes, I'd like to get paid for learning!

At work today when the manager asks If I can

Begin
Learn some...
End
Begin
Ruby to help the lads with..
End
Begin
What the...
End
Begin
Fuck...
End
Begin
Is this...
End

Yeah ok. I went to bed extra early yesterday but i kept waking up at night and now i am tired anyways but thats ok. i have to go to work now but thats good. yeah this is great. now when the sun is up and i have to go to work, my body feels like it could sleep 10 hours straight but hey, i think this is just what i need right now before work.

Third day at work, still configuring. This is what happens when you make me use windows. Got my first dev assignment today though, so that's fun.

Seriously getty images, what is wrong with you. Usually it is bad enough that sign in forms say username or email and then only accept one of those two options. Getty images only allows for the username, so i enter that. Doesn't work. I use the forgot password function, have to enter username and email, doesn't work. Turns out the username is the email adress and what I entered was only the display name. Seriously, how stupid is that? What is the point of a username when you have a separate display name and just set it to the account email adress?

Can anyone tell me what getting a CS degree at CMU is like?

My younger bro is graduating from there but from what he always says, it's just work work work work...

Never told me he did anything interesting or extra curriculars though my impression was CMU is the place where all the cool new stuff happens like Pixar, DARPA, robots, etc.

I went to NYU (useless business degree) and am probably more introverted than him yet compared to him it seems I spent 4 yrs partying...

Next Monday I'll go back to work after vacation and I'm still wondering what the fuck is a monad!

As a dev (all kind of dev ) what is something you struggle with in a work environment? Or at home?

Software Developer Interview Questions!

Hey friends, for my IT Careers class I have been assigned to interview a software developer. I was wondering if some people would be willing to answer the following questions. Thank you so much!

Name:
Title of position:
Company you work for:

1. What is a typical day at work like?
2. What are your hours like? Are you ever on call?
3. What are the best parts of your job?
4. Are there any downsides?
5. What influenced your decision to choose this career? Are you glad that you did?
6. What education did you need to get?
7. Do you specialize in certain languages or types of programs?
8. Do you work remotely or at the job site?
9. What is your pay like? Are you paid by the hour, or do you get a salary?
10. Was there ever a specific project you've worked on that was your favorite?
11. Does your job require any work outside of work hours?
12. What are the biggest obstacles you run into as a developer?
13. If you could change something about your job, would you? What would it be?
14. What are some tasks you must complete for your job?
15. Is there anything you wish you knew before starting your career?
16. Are there days that seem too repetitive?
17. Do you often have to learn new languages?
18. Have there been any big changes in your career since you first started?
19. How long have you worked as a developer?
20. Is there any advice you would give to college students looking to pursue a development career?
Any responses are appreciated! Thank you so much!

Haven't ranted about anything for quite a while... So, is everything perfect in my work and life ? Or, is something reallllly wrong that I haven't even realized what it is ??

MFW I accidentally ran "rm -rf /" on my work PC last week. This is what happens when I skip my morning coffee.

Is it normal to work at a company that claims it has an R&D department (in which I work), but nobody actually does the 'R' part... like never?
I think I have potential in researching. What should I do?

I have this friend who says that using bootstrap(prebuilt css styles) is freeloading if other people’s work. So, I asked him to create his own OS cause he is freeloading of Apple create his own laptop cause he his freeloading Apple. What an Idiot!

The feeling that every work day is composed of new challenges that help you to grow and learn more. Also, how cool is it when your code works as intended and with no ramifications on the first try? Last but not least how many people can say that what they do at work is their true passion?

I was watching cards @ rams on Monday. Commercials were on so naturally I was using my phone when suddenly I hear the slack's notification sound from somewhere in the room. I look up thinking what teammate is messaging me and what could they possibly want, only to realize there's a slack advert on and the notification sound came from it. Why would slack show ad mid NFL games AND put a sound that everyone associates with work? I am 🤏 close to suing slack for causing work trauma outside work hours

"When we engage in what we are naturally suited to do, our work takes on the quality of play and it is play that stimulates creativity." - Linda Naiman

I don't usually tell my extended family that I work remotely but when I do, I have to explain what I do, how I do it and how did I get it.

Working remotely is very rare where I'm from. I only know one other guy does work remotely and thats it.

"The great thing about personal work is that it can shape your commercial work. Clients see what you create for yourself and that can be the starting point for a new project, which closes the cap between the work you love making and the work you get paid for." - Gemma O’Brien

What is the most demotivating thing that can happen to you at work?

1. Having a bsc degree is not enough
2. The new standard is master degree
3. What's next a phd degree as the new standard?
4. Then what? I have to be a millionaire first so i can be hired to work a job?

Just got sad news this week, we could work less and earn less or after a few days some of us might even lose their job, the economy is not stable because of covid 19. I have mixed feelings about what is going on.

I am bored with what I m doing at my office.. I am solving only bugs.. and nobody is ready to assign me good work 😒.. fk man

When you learn to work with unix but you forget what "man" stands for because english is not your native language so you man man...

Its "manual" btw...

I f*cking hate "ticket creep". I feel like half my worktime (as a tech lead) is spent just to contain what people ask for or report in a ticket. "No, you fool, this ticket isn't about that, file a different one!" is what i'm most likely to be thinking during any work day.

Okay so I'm pissed. My JavaScript form validation doesnt work so I went tried it on the most simple fucking html form and it fucking works and I dont fuckign know what the problem is since I literally copy and pasted the form from the one that doesnt work

ln -s **/node_modules/bin ~/.node_modules/

...proof that Satan is real and also that he has push access to this git repo

In what nightmare world does this work and/or is it a good idea

Not easy to work with xamarin, but still easier than Android studio. What the hell is gradle

So a web developer is driving home from work when his girlfriend phones him. She says her sister can't log into Windows anymore even though she didn't change her password!

What happened?

Hating myself because I'm struggling to muster up the courage to program lately ... Work is ruining what I love :-(

Styling Newsletters is like time travel..time travel in a retarded past that doesnt knew what beauty modern css is, also fuck your sincerly MS Outlook for being a propritary cunt.

display:block will not work for MS Outlook, cause, well reasons.

What laptop do you use for your Linux work machine? My Lenovo is dying after just 6 months.

Just because I didn't know the direction to work on doesn't mean I didn't do shit

Also, aren't you the professor so you please tell me what to do

And no you don't need to focus on the sample dataset I'm working on. Yes its name is "Breast Cancer" SO WHAT!!!

Adobe XD is the newest terrible child of the idea that you can design "user experience." What a waste of time. How many more middle-men do we need in this work flow?

To avoid procrastination just work under annoying manager who asks "what are you doing? what is the progress?" Multiple times in a day.

You will never work on lesser important task if you have personal reminder like that.

Have no work in office!
Most of my teams work is either completed or waiting to get approved.
Gives me a lot of free time at work.
What to do?

The DHCP server is off.

The school lied, Wi-Fi doesn’t work.

THIS IS RIDICULOUS WHAT A SHITSHOW

If boss doesn't like you, what would you do ?
1- try to make him happy with your work?
2- search for new job.
p.s boss insulting too much after anything goes wrong.
What is the professional way to deal with that kind of situation?

What is your way of diagnosing a desktop/laptop?

An employee at work told me that her daughters laptop is acting strangely and she asked me, since I am into computer and I said sure. I said to her to tell her daughter what I am specifically looking for. I never really done this before.

I assigned work to my minions aka Jr. Devs for the first time. Feels great. Is this what being a CEO feels like?

The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet , keep looking .Don't settle 🙌

How do you background work in Android? Easy, just use one of the following (which may or may not work as expected depending on what version of Android it's running on, or how long it happens to run for, or what's in the background or foreground, or what triggers it, or what wind the direction is blowing in, or how long since you last gave a fuck)

background Service, or foreground Service, or IntentService, or AlarmManager, or JobScheduler, or WorkManager, or FUCK YOU ANDROID

Just asking a few questions about anyone's opinion, answer whatever you want:

Is self studying your own responsibility and if so, do you prioritize learning stuff you do at work? Do you share it with colleges?
What is your preferred way to study?

A sub company of the company I work for is about to be shut down. It makes me sad because I developed everything on the platform. All my work just gone.. at least I learned a lot about what NOT to do though

I'm studying computer security and learning Linux on my free time, yet at my work I spend most my time in MS Excel and PowerPoint... what even is my life

I actually like where I currently work, sure it has problems and some office politics. The work is not always exciting but what makes it good is not having someone breathing down my neck about timesheets, noone cares if the hours you work are not exactly business hours and a bunch of other stuff.
What I really like though is having a boss who backs my judgement. If I refuse to commit to timelines or work without being given the information I need he'll support me. I've had too many yes men as bosses which always ends up with the devs coping all the blame when everything goes belly up.

What coding at work is supposed to look like:
class myclass {
public:
void myfunc;
void.... And so on so forth.

What coding at work actually looks like:
class myclass {
pub--"Hey can get line one? <name> is asking for you."

(20 minutes later)

public:
void myfunc;
vo--"Hey <same name> wants to talk to you again."

Programming doesn't give me gray hair, distractions do.

Seriously, wtf give the work to someone else, claiming that "I'm too busy to do this", when all that other person does is come asking you for help, and not only do you have to figure out what needs to be done, you need to figure out how the other person fucked it up and try to fix it without hurting any feelings. Oh, and, yes, I was too busy for doing what is essentially double work.

The customer told us that we have had a good momentum lately and that we need to keep it so that we can finish on time. What makes me frustrated is that what he perceives as "momentum" actually is increasing technical debt and overtime work...

Ive installed php before but for some fucking reason it just refuses to fucking work. Im not installing extra bullshit like some people tell me because I had it work exactly how I wanted it to on my desktop but now fucking hell what the hell is the damn deal

What if your main telecom provider is down? Can you continue to work, code, take customer orders? Do you have a redundant strategy - and no it can't be going to lunch.

Why mostly developers do job, why they do not work on thier ideas and make apps?
I am tiny developer and started programming because i have few ideas to work on, but what i see is no one is motivated here to work on ideas

What is the best way to work on a project with a team?, I mean, how to use git, runbots, scrum, kanbans, modeling, and the most important the deadline... D: