(overheard parents talking)

Mum: I'm worried about our son, I guess he was hacking today
Dad: What? [Chuckle] No. He's not that grown up enough. Prolly programming.
Mum: But, the screen was all blue and there was nothing but text on it. And then suddenly it went blank. So, I asked him what he was doing and he said it was a BSOD. That sounds scary NSA level stuff.
Dad: it isn't [came out of the room, saw me there]

(And we laughed and laughed and laughed)

Last night I caught my girlfriend on my phone.....
Reading devRant..
I asked her what she was doing, she replied "I wanted to see what you spend all your time reading, some of this is actually pretty funny.."
❤

So there is this girl who was trying to be cute and wrote a mock C code for me :

She wrote :

If(existence=disapointment)
printf("kill self");
else
printf("what else??");

And without hesitating I told her that her code had a fault in it and it would always print "kill self" no matter what the level of disappointment is. And asked her to fix it.
The way she fixed it was probably best described as the situation when you have no idea what you are doing and you don't try to understand either. (or was simply passive aggressive) :

If(existence=disapointment)
printf("kill self");
else
printf("kill self");

Honestly though I hope she was being passive aggressive because boy do I pity people who confuse between '=' and '=='

I was newly hired to company. A customer came in yelling saying "there's a bug, this should do this but it's doing that..."
PM came to me and told me to "urgently fix this as this is an important customer".

So I started debugging for hours and asking around and all follow devs agreed that this is a bug. Then I found it!! And it was clear that it was not doing what the customer wanted.

I decided to look through this code history and found out that this part of the code wasn't changed for a year but the code commited before it did actually what the customer was expecting (whaaaa....)

Gathered the devs and the PM showing them what I found. They all looked at each other and then one said "ouuhhh right...yes it was doing this but we changed it to that..."

Turns out it's a feature not a bug, and everyone forgot about it.

FML

This was at my previous and last internship. At previous ones i never got serious tasks so i was pretty used to that but one day my guider (lead backend programmer) called me over to help him out with a server issue (in all seriousness he said that i was probably the best Linux guy at that company at that moment). So i fixed it quickly and just out of curiousity i asked what kinda server it was and how many visitors it got monthly!

"it's a prod server and about one million at least i think"

I was just standing there for a minute and then asked why the hell he let me, an intern, work on that to which he replied: because you know what the fuck you're doing. I think I succeeded in hiding the tears of happiness that came up at that moment :) i fucking miss that place.

Me: *opens a terminal in front of parents and starts a build script from command line. Logs start rapidly flooding the screen*

Mom: *whispers to dad proudly* “look at how much she has worked. Look how fast the lines are running on the screen!!

I didn’t wanna burst their bubble by explain them that their child is NOT doing any rocket science, and is something even they can do(maybe better).
So I responded back with a fake serious tone
“Yeah it’s all code.”
If only they knew what I was actually doing...

A little while ago I was on my way home from work sitting on the train and then this guy sat down next to me.

Pulled out a laptop and suddenly opened a code editor!

I just tried to determine what programming language he was doing and after about 5 minutes I finally was about to ask him...

Then he copied his 'code' into excel.

Well, all the excitement went to a pub to get drunk at that moment I think.

Had lunch with my girlfriend today. After we had eaten I was just browsing Devrant and she (without looking at what I was doing) she said "Let's go, you can rant about coding somewhere else".

So we were doing Computer Network revision.

our teacher asks,' what is another method except GUI to send mail?'

I know it is using terminal.
'Terminal' I replied.
'No, it was something else'
'Console'
'No, not that'
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
'Command line?'
'Yes, that's it. That's what I m talking about'

FML!

Only God and I knew what I was doing, writing uncommented code in C a year ago.

Now, only God knows.

Every since I've stared programming, I've been doing it almost everyday. But, I haven't programmed at all this week, and I already forgot the command to compile a C++ code.

It was just one week. What kind of idiot forgets things in one week?

Girlfriend: How was your day?

Me: Oh, Grand broke stuff fixed it,
broke more stuff, fixed that. then almost nearly got something kinda doing what i want.

someone was doing this on github issue feed. I mean what the heck dude, this is going out of hand.

I was sleeping.....

May dad was feeding our newly furnished outer walls of our house with water....

I was unaware of what he was doing...

I dont know what exactly he was supposed to do....

But when I opened my eyes....

I saw a stream of water straight way coming from the window entering my cpu which was placed on a table exactly at the window....

I shouted out as loud as possible....

I was so lucky I previous night I turned it off shut off the switches cuz there was nothing to download....

I deassembled whole cpu kept it for 3 days to dry....

And bam it worked like a charm....

Saved my entire life....

My parents my whole childhood:

What are you *** doing in front of that screen?!?!
Stop playing GAMES and go out and do something with your life!
You are WASTING your LIFE on ****!
You will NEVER get a job.

Today I am payed more than 20th times as my dad was payed in my age.
They finally stopped complaining.

When you're hard at work on an algo but forgot to take your ADHD medicine so the squirrels are fighting outside but need to check Facebook statuses and having a dance party to Cotton Eyed Joe is a great coworker on LinkedIn which is now coded in Ember JS is weird compared to Python and my pencil is a funny color and my keyboard is shiny. I forgot the punchline. I'm gonna have a bowl of cereal. What was I doing?

PM in daily: your turn. what have you done yesterday?

me: so i finished my PR for feature x and now i'm only waiting for review feedback there, so i can close this ticket today if no major rework is required-

PM: this is not what i asked, i don't want to know what you did, i want to know what was done.

me: uhh... okay, also i started working on task x
[note: task x, a task per definition involving a large amount of research, was very coarsly defined and it wasn't even clear to the PM what he exactly expects from me, and we agreed that the scope needs to be refined in the process],
so as a first step, i started doing some general investigations to get an overview of the topic and learn about concepts a and b-

PM: again, i don't want to know what you did, i want to know what was done.

me: okay well, i have DONE basic research on topic xy and collected information-

PM: this still does not answer my question, what's the deliverable?

me: ...so uhhh.... i read papers? i researched info online and collected and prepared information and links in a presentation which i'm also planning to present to the team-

PM: okay, can you please split your jira task in subtasks so everyone knows exactly what you're working on? otherwise we have no idea what you're doing.

for fuck's sake, shut up. just shut up

Just got out of a 2-hour meeting where I was told to keep doing what I was doing.

I'm starting a new job next week so I don't currently have a desk, but my boyfriend loves the cross stitched Yoshis I made for him!

Also, fuck cross stitching. It's the worst. I'm never doing it again. What was supposed to be a Christmas gift turned into a belated Valentine's gift.

I thank whoever made the jsRant, a client for devrant to view in js looking style in browser. Teacher walked passed by and asked what i was doing. I said i was exploring the source of the newest javascript framework. He said what is the name. I said semicolonJS. He asked who made it. I said some person who has fox in his name did it.
Thanks everyone! I had some laughs after he walked passed by without noticing anything.

I was fired from a job where the boss had it in for me. He was a really experienced dev, but he was also very arrogant. He hated me questioning him. I didn't have the evidence nor the "political" clout to back up my criticisms.

It was humbling.

I realised two things:

keeping your mouth shut is often the best approach.

And

my own arrogance was keeping me from getting better, from learning new things. Not just for the company, but for myself.

I want to write better code, make better design decisions, utilise design patterns, actually think about what I'm doing, and be able to justify why I'm doing it.

I want to be able to choose the best tools for the job, not the best tools for me.

I want to be a person that is open to criticisms and I want to be someone who is always ready to learn new things.

!rant

My girlfriend sat on my lap the other day when I was helping a friend of mine with some assembly code. She look at the code an said

What are you doing?

I explained the code and said that is the lowest you can get before machine code. She didn't run away in fear....

This is a great sign...

So here I am... thinking to myself how does this kid not know about the shift key?

Me: "Ok we're going to test see if you have sudo access. Please enter your password, now"
Student: ~stares at the black terminal box and begins pressing the caps lock key. The light doesn't display~
Student: "Um... what? Do I need to enter a new password?"
Me: "No"
Continues to click the caps-lock button and waiting for a light to appear on the keyboard. It doesn't. He continues clicking.
Me: "You need to press the shift button"
Him: "What???"
Me: "You need to press the shift button"
Him: "Um.. I don't understand"
Him: Presses shift button, nothing happens. Goes back to pressing caps lock button.
Me: "Your password has a capital letter in it right?"
Him: "Um... yeah."
Me: "Press the shift button to capitalize your letters."
Him: "I don't understand... Do I need to enter a new password?"
Me: "No... you need to press and hold the shift key to get a capital letter"
Him: "................................ ............................................ . . . . . .. .. .. .. .. .. . . . . . . . . . . . . ...................... . . . . . . . Oh..."
Him: "Presses and holds the shift button with his thumb and then presses the Z key."
Me: ~What in the hell are you doing?~ 🤦
Me: "Perfect it looks like you are a part of the sudoers list."
Me: "You can take you computer back."
Me: ~Do you fucking use the caps lock key to capitalize all the first letters in your sentences? Please tell me you don't!~

Went to hackathon @ Google HQ in NYC. Gotta say it was pretty shitty. Most people are JavaScript nerds and some code in objective-C, xcode (4-5 out of 50). The rest are chemists, scientists and general folks. Not what I anticipated when you know it's more like iOS hackathon. Anyways it was good to see the shittiest demos in my life made in less than 12 hours. We had 4.5 people working on a toilet project called "I gotta go". Public bathroom locator... One guy coded in JS, xcode and react Native. Another dude was pushing all the code to GitHub and doing backend in firebase. The third guy was making a website for no reason and then I see it's hosted weebly. He hand coded first, I looked what he is doing - just HTML tags. Thank God some organizers helped us and we had a 4 click demo with basic text and no real functionality. Plus the website who never seen. What a fucking waste of $100 and two days.

Start working on ticket
Looks at code
WTF is the shit?
Open devRant to rant
1.5 hours later
what was I doing?

Dropped my youngest off at the childminder today and her husband asked me what I'm doing for a job now
.. Explained its security and data science... His reply was to ask if I can setup a printer....

My parents didn't really care what I was doing, they were just happy I wasn't hanging around street corners.

They were also kind enough to buy me a computer or peripherals at Christmas. My sisters were not impressed with their Barbie houses and Sylvanian Families! 😂

Sisters: "Why does he get a computer?"

Mum: "Cos he doesn't ask for new clothes all year!"

Hey DevRant community :-) I’m Milo, I’m quite new to this app and to be completely honest I’m already addicted to it! And honestly just having a community which is full of developers or people with common interests like myself just makes me feel warm and happy! .

A bit about myself I’m from Australia and gained an interest in Coding about 2 years ago where i landed a course in TAFE. Now i had absolutely no prior experience i was a complete rookie, first day was basically (if I remember) only one day of using the console with what I remember to be sequential programming. Well after that it was all GUI and a disaster i had no clue whatsoever of what i was doing and well interestingly enough i still managed to enjoy it and move on😅.

Fast forward about six months I’m now doing a proper degree and actually understanding concepts and better at coding and i love it!. Welp guys & gals i thank you for taking the time to read my post I certainly hope i posted this in the right section! :-)

Hope you all have a great night or day where ever you may be!.

I worked at a startup. They wanted to "save" money. So they hired a relative of "Fred" named "Bubba". Bubba made a custom website. Like hand built gifs and who knows how hand crafted html. It was fine for a time. Then somebody was wondering why nobody was calling us at the company. No customers. Another relative named "George" (who was actually a business major) looked at the website. It had been hacked and replaced with Jedis fighting Sith Lords. Me and another engineer named "Zeus" said "fuck this shit" and said "we are redoing this shit".

So I logged into godaddy (I know, shitty) and installed Wordpress (kinda shitty). I proceeded to turn wordpress into a half decent page. Wiped out the shit that was there, reused images as it made sense. Created more images. Reduced images to 80% quality to take loading size from 10MB to <1MB. Then I also proceeded to do SEO work and get the website listed properly within about a month. Customers started calling all the time. I had a simple contact form that barely gets any shit on it due to captcha. The was 5 years ago. I left 3 years ago (still help them on weekends) and nobody has done shit with the website. They are still getting calls and it hasn't been hacked.

We don't talk to Bubba. He didn't know what the fuck he was doing. I wonder if he still does websites for his relatives. I honestly had no clue what I was doing, but my take on the approach was easier to maintain and even George and Zeus and the new manager "Ralph" can maintain it, kinda. Went from shitty static website to full on dynamic and interactive. Yeah, I know, "dynamic". But the manager was happy.

Sometimes you just do what you gotta do in addition to doing all the electrical and software engineering for a company.

Skype, on my laptop, updated the other day. It was like: 'Oh hey we're downloading skype for windows 10!', and I was like 'oh yeah? cool! ... wait, I'm not on Windows 10 WAIT WHAT ARE YOU DOING NO WAIT NO STOP'

And now it doesn't work. Yay!

First time ranter here..

So I started to work in this big company with allegedly many talented devs.

All excited to start and learn a whole bunch of new stuff.

There was this dev, with gazillion years of experience.

We were working on a similar parts of the code base and he told me I should be reusing his module.

I opened the module sources to learn about its internals.

Oh boy...

To illustrate it best, Let’s say there was a function called foo.
It was doing one thing. There was also a function called foo1. Doing almost exactly the same thing. There was also fooA.
And I kid you not, there was a fooA1.
All of them were doing almost the same thing.

Almost all of the functions were documented. The documentation for foo would be:
“This does X. I don’t like how it does it, so there is foo1 which is better.”

Additionally, only 1 of the functions was in use...

It doesn’t end here.
There were functions named like:
cdacictad

You ask what it means?
Well it means “clean directory a copy it’s contents to another directory” of course...

Months later he is no longer with us. I deleted this module.

PS
Glad to be here ;)

Possibly the best comment I have ever encountered:

//When I wrote this, only God and I understood what I was doing
//Now, God only knows

I couldn't figure out what the giant "C" was doing in my screen. It took me way to long to figure this out.

Overheard 2 colleagues having an interesting telephonic meeting late night at my room.
Dev 1: Wait. I am trying to fix it.
Dev 2: Ok. Take your time
Dev 1: Shit. I found it. I knew I was doing something wrong here.
Dev 2: Oh. Nice. What was the bug?
Dev 1: It was a super silly mistake. Don't want to tell. Folks will laugh at me.
Dev 2: Don't worry. It happens with everyone. Come tomorrow at office, and whisper it in my ears. Noone will know.

made a password sniffer in python it was really easy how many of you took #100DaysOfCode i took the challenge 8 days today every day i am doing one project what do you think of the sniffer? it currently doesn't support SSL response but working on that right now this is good

Possibly the best comment I have ever encountered:

// When I wrote this, only God and I understood what I was doing
// Now, God only knows

It was 1999. I was just starting my first real job as a programmer for a major insurance company. We were working on code that would screen scrape legacy mainframe data output and convert it to a web-based UI. REALLY stupid project approach I had no input on. I happened to find a programmer in Germany who had released his code in the public domain that would help with making a certain conversion task easier. I downloaded his code and put it to work.

During a code review, a programmer who was probably about 60 asked me where I got the code and what it was doing. I didn't even get to the part about what it was doing because he made fun of me so badly, in a fake German accent in front of a room full of non-programmers, for using code that today is no big deal due to the prevalence of open source. I just clammed up in humiliation because he got everyone laughing at me. His philosophy was if we didn't buy it or write it ourselves, we had no business using it.

I guess I was just ahead of my time?

Monday struggles:
Trying to recall what I was doing last Friday

Me - I want to work on Java.
Boss - you are working on Java right?
Me - no, just Angular JS
Boss - yes it's the same right... Angular Js, JavaScript, java

Me - (hmmmm, what if I had just said angular, would he assume I was doing geometry?)

!Story
So I Met this kid (11 or 12) when I was younger
15or so
And he asked me what I wanted to become I said:
Programmer...
He was AMAZED by this job and INSTANTLY wanted to become one too...
So I showed him the Basis of programming with Scratch for EDU, he was pretty good and Made some "good" Games.
Then I wanted to work on my little unity Game...
So I started to Programm on my surface pro 4
He looked at me and asked:
What are you Doing? What is this?
I explained that coding isn't always Scratch and that there are MANY ways to code,
Some are like Scratch and other arent...
He FREAKED THE HELL OUT!
And was Like:
I WANTED TO LEARN CODING NOT SOME OTHER BULLSHIT LIKE SCRATCH!
I WANT TO BECOME LIK,E YOU!
We never met again...

I was told that my granny was having trouble signing into Facebook, so I go to help her and this is what happens.

Me: try and open Facebook.
Granny: *looks confused*
Granny: oh I know!
Granny: *opens up Gmail*
Me: *wtf is she doing?*
Granny: *opens an email from Facebook*
Granny: ok, I'm in Facebook.

Not sure whether to cringe or laugh 😅

Remote IT work. I had a caller immediately berate and try to insult me because she recognized my very Southern accent wasn't local and I wasn't onsite. They tried to insinuate I wouldn't know what they were talking about with "do you even know what [x] is?" Calmly, I said yes ma'am. This is before she ever got to what her issue was. It was command line things I needed to run to fix it, but she wouldn't stop talking. "Are you even trying to help me or do anything? You must not know what you're doing." I'm a terrible multitasker so I end up sometimes typing what I hear, saying what I read, or zoning out of everything to accomplish a particular thing. So it took me a minute or two longer than normal. But that call wasn't what pissed me off. It was the complete 180 she turned when she emailed in when I resolved the ticket, praising me for how knowledgeable and professional I was, that I almost considered it all a troll.

I don't have very many high emotion stories and neither is this one. I'm pretty laid back, go with it, person.

When I learnt programming, sugar was still made out of salt and hence not used in coffee.

Also, we didn't have source level debuggers, only the "print" method. However, compiling was also slow. It was faster and more convenient to go through the program and execute the statements in one's head. This helped understanding what code is doing just by reading it. It also kept people from trial and error programming, something that some people fall for when they resort to single step debugging in order to understand what their own code is even doing.

Compiling was slow because computers in general were slow, like single digit MHz. That enforced programming efficient code. It's also why we learnt about big Oh notation already at school. Starting with manual resource management helped to get a feeling for what's going on under the hood.

When I was a little boy my father who was an entrepreneur back then hired a computer programmer to develop some kind of administrative software for him. He was programming on the Commodore VIC20. I was very interested in what he was doing and he gave me some books about programming basic on the VIC20. I read them, started programming and I've been hooked ever since!

As I do still remember this man's name I searched on the internet now and then to see if I could find him. End of last year I found him on FB and wrote him a message to thank him for what he did back then. It's because of him that I found out what I love doing most and have a great working career and life because I do what I love to do and get paid very well for it.

Thanks, mr. Stomp!

Coding gave me a way to express my creativity. It gave me meaning. When I was young I was constantly trying to find what I was good at. It's frustrating because I have one more year of uni doing what doesn't interest me.

Nevertheless, I'm glad I found what I want to do for the rest of my life 🐢.

Today i implemented something of such a complexity that the part of my brain i am in could not follow it.
(Really guys. I did not know what i was doing. I only knew i had to do it exact this way)

This feeling when you are in a tunnel and unstoppable. I even documented what i did.
Sadly i do not even understand my thoughts there xD
I wrote about three hours straight and then run a test. And the only mistake was a variable not filled as described. Used another one and it run smoothly as hell.

Today i will drink a beer on whatever part of me did this. Cheers

I was working with this "friend" in a supposedly "partnership" way. He was handling the customer getting all the info for the product and doing all the communication.

fRiEnD: So I talked with the customer, the website will be delivered on 10th of June.

Me: yOu &%@!ing WhAt?!

*he didn't ask before if it would have been possible

Just fired up my laptop
I was like what the hack Gavin belson is doing on reinvent !

Last year in my computer class, i was sitting next to the girl i likED. One day we were doing a classwork and i asked her for the IP adress (everyone in the class was supposed to know what is it and how to check it). Five minutes later she came back telling me the adress (streets, numbers) of the school...
You were perfect until that moment...

I recently left a company where we had 2 hour long standups. I was so tired of them because half the time was deprioritizing what we prioritized yesterday. Everyday there was something more urgent coming up. It was a startup with 6 engineers. Sometimes the conversations were just random stuff that could easily take 45 minutes.

Now it feels so nice doing 15 minutes standups and then having the time to do the actual work.

Inappropriate experience at work? Here is another one:

The IS department manager 'John' bought a blowgun and was shooting at a box down the cubical farm hallway. Only a little annoying to hear him puff on the tube, but then someone walked out their cube and almost got hit.
Dev: "Dammit John! What the hell are you doing?!"
John: "Maybe you should pay the hell attention to where you're going. You heard what I was doing. Don't be a baby, those darts wouldn't have hurt you anyway."

I've attached a pic of what the darts looked like.

I'll repeat what I wrote in an answer in another rant because I think it made a good story (I just realized it after writing it :p) :
I met a guy in my school who was the best of the school : I mean, he jumped over the first two years of the school (and he started from scratch, he never had programmed before).

I went to ask him how he got enough motivation to make all the two years projects in one and he told me something that made me understand why he was so good : "I'm fucking lazy, so when I code, I code something that I would use for a very long time, tools that will be useful in next projects".

By doing this, all he had to do in end-year projects was to assemble what he already had done to make the program. He had perfectly working tools that were awesome. So, he never had to work more than 10 hours a week after doing this.

Didn't sleep well.. now i'm constantly phasing out in front of my editor.

I just looked 5 mins straight at the word "readonly" until I came back to life and completely lost track of what I was doing.

Going to sleep a bit now..:D

Be me...
Coding and refactoring...
Very focused...
Until...
.
..
…
….

METALLICA COMING TO AUSTRALIA 🤘🤘🤘
….
..
..
.

Forgot what I was doing... But I know what I will be doing next week... GETTING THOSE VIP TICKETS 🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘

my dad bought me my first computer at 8, when I was 12 he thought I was always playing video games. at 19 he wouldn't pay for me to go get a bachelor's degree in computer science even though I was dual majoring with computer science and business. but he wonders how I always have money, he's 79 years old so not really unexpected.

my mom never understood what I was doing on computers but knew I was making money when I needed it, she's 61 years old and getting in bad shape so she's living with me and my wife. but she can tell when I'm thinking hard on a project and leaves me alone.

my wife doesn't know what I do and thinks I found a fucking magic money tree and she'll bug me after I spent 30 minutes planing a function out and I have to start over.

-Problem
-searching everywhere
-complicated algorithms
-almost there ...

My little sister: hey! Can you install this game on my tablet?
Me: no! I'm busy right now
Sister: mom!!...
Me: okay! okay!
<installation process >

...
What was I doing?...

That's how everything gets ruined :/

Rant PART 2 [FINAL-inspirational]

In my previous rant I posted what was happening in my life. And now I want to share how it all unfolded.

To remember some things, I was doing a mobile project for school and it was a group assignment. My group was so disperse that I ended up doing all by myself. And in the middle of this my gf and I were fighting.

I spent the last two days coding all day during work (I do coding internship for the college I go to, so my boss was cool about me doing the project during work) and I ended up forgetting what day it was today (today is a holyday, I thought I had to go to work because I forgot). It was such an intense two days that while coding I was forgetting variable names, table row names (I literally spent half an hour on my API trying to find a solution, when the solution was that I was using `seller_fk` on the API, but in the database was `seller_id`) and my mind was imploding. I asked my boss for help on the database (he's really good at it) and my teachers to help me. But everything paid off.

Yesterday I started coding at 8am and ended up finishing the project at 9:28 pm (the day before yesterday was the same thing), 2 minutes before the class of the project to start! I was able to finish the project, finally! But what really remarked me was that from all the groups that were in like 4-5 people, I was the only one who delivered the project that day. All other groups are going to have to deliver the project next week with reduced project grade, while I got 100% of the grade because I delivered on the date.

God is good!

Also my gf and I are good now. We are kinda still recovering emotionally, but are now more respectfull to each other, so I guess something good can comeout of bad things.

Happy coding everyone and never give up!
If I made it out of this whole mess so can you! :)

My code was doing the exact oposite of what I wanted it to do and it took me about 2 hours to find out that strcmp() returns 0 when the strings match, problem solved, fml.

My worst "legacy code" experience was when the company I work at couldn't get their heads out of their asses and stubbornly continued to write legacy code. As of this day they are still doing everything according to what was hip around 2004. And they even force me to write new legacy code.

New legacy code: it sounds like a paradox, but this company makes it happen.

I read a bible verse and get back to what I was doing
God always gives me power

Was just told by a guy in my class proudly, “yeah, I’m pretty good at typing. It comes in handy for when I code stuff in class.” Awesome, that’s cool. I ask what he’s doing in the class. “We learned Scratch last semester and now we’re starting Java.” -______-

So this JUST happened.

I do what I've been doing since its release, that is go through devRant in my spare time.

My girlfriend is right here working on her project and notices me looking intently into my phone, unaware of what I'm up to and literally snatches my phone asking me which girl i was messaging and checks it to see devRant open! The look on her face after that was priceless :D

EVEN NOW as I type this Rant she looked at me and asked "Who is that you're messaging? Your 'girlfriend'?" xD

God bless devRant xD

I'm starting to think about not working for this potential client I met today.

He said he wants me to modify an open source software, I asked him what language it's written with, he replied "Open Source". He thinks Open source was a language.

He hasn't even given me the link of the repo, he was already telling me not to put bug in the project in a bid to always make him contact me for updates.

I asked him sarcastically, "Who does that? ".

He was also talking about me doing minor tweaks here and there if need be after I deliver.

Too many red flags for me. No contract and I'm not interested. I foresee it's going to go sour.

What do you guys feel?

Well I just had a breakdown a few hours ago.. For a too calm guy like me it's really rare, but also not surprising. I have my third deadline in a row, haven't really seen people over the last month. Thanks guys for helping me survive socially during this month, I'm a very social guy usually, so I really needed that.
Apart from that, last time I was hopeful about my schedule and sent it to my advisor she called me the day after shouting that it's not realistic and I'll never be done on time. I could have worked harder on February, that's true, but for fuck sake she ruined all of my motivation in a 10 minute call.
I wish I liked what I'm doing. I wish people I work with would have appreciated what I'm doing and encourage me. I wish I was 2 weeks to the future when I have not even a slight thing to worry about.
Get me outta here 😩

One fine day, at work, I was doing one of my favourite things.

git push origin test:mainline

And it prompted for my credentials. I gave them and continued as per yooozh..

What I didn't realise then was that I had used my personal github credentials instead of my official account's!

Oops.

Day 3 - and no one has noticed yet...

Daily scrum
Today, the Scrumpy Master was not here, so I leaded the daily scrum meeting,
rephrasing the 3 standards questions a little bit: the results where amazing.
Here my questions in case somebody want to use them:
- What the fuck did you do on Friday?
- What the fuck do you think you are doing today?
- What is your fucking problem?

We managed to keep the meeting very short and after the meeting everybody was sooooo concentrated I couldn't believe it.

Beeep Beeeeeep 7:00 o'clock. Shit. I was dreaming. Must wake up and go to work.
Scrum master will be there too.

Got my first laptop while I was overseas.

It was a windows hp laptop with Vista.

It was an absolute piece of shit.

Decided to find the people responsible of it.

Got to what a software engineer was.

Boss told me to look in the library to see if i find some books on the subject. Got a Java and C++ book.

Shit was hard af cuz I had no clue what I was doing, but I liked it. Decided to look more into an application wise platform of study rather than doing basic CLI shit. Got into web development with Java. Got a hold of more JS. Liked JS more cuz shit was easy, found about server side JS with classic ASP, did VBScript as well.

Eventually found Python, fell in love but hated the whitespace ussage for block level code etc. Found Ruby, to this day the most beautiful language according to me. Read about why's poignant intro to Ruby.

Dug it, but wanted some other things. Found out about the study of data structures ans algorithms, then harvard's free cs50 course, then mit courseware, rice's python class. Took all of them. CS50 introduced php, liked it, sounded like a drug, was easy to use, for whatever fucking reaskn my ass decided to use version 4 even though 5 was already out. Learned to appreciate advancements in programming language even more

Hipster phase, while studying php got more into JS and web design with more css concepts, wanted my shit to be pretty. Somehow landed with Common Lisp. Mind fucking blown.

Continued with php. Got into uni, math made sense through programming, ok so I am stupid, but not that stupid, python is the best calculator ever.

bring it bitches.

Graduated.

Still don't know what I am doing.

WOW!! What a fucking cop out. After what happened yesterday about branching. my senior and our boss had a meeting and I wasn’t included. My senior then message me to next time dont create another branch just use the existing branch even if it was merged. I said “ok but i thought thats the best practice, we we’re doing that since the beginning”. Senior then responded “Whats best practice for our boss, that will be our best practice” what a fucking cop out!!! Bitch!!

I got my girlfriend while I was coding. I was working in the library. She came over and ask me what I'm doing. I was writing the back-end for a project in js. She said that she had done some Java before and asked me whether they're related.I asked her in return that are ham and hamburger related. She said ofc, you put the hams between two buns and you got a hamburger. I said I'm gonna be the buns then :) I got her.

Working with DigitalOcean boxes for so long has spoiled me.

I went to setup something on my home server today, and couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong for like 30 minutes...

Until I realized that I never forwarded port 80.

*sigh.

"Don't waste your time reinventing the wheel, just use *random CMS or framework*"
I understand that I will never have all the time to do every projets from scratch, because of deadlines, clients, employers... But I was still a student when I've been told that.
And I never felt that I was wasting my time because I wanted to better understand what I was doing.

And I hate CMS. All of them.

I was really hyped for what I would learn by doing internship.

The files on the web app server are updated by drag and drop on FTP.

I once ran a batch import job to stress test with much more data than usual in staging... so I thought.
I sshd into prod by accident. History search can be a bastard at times...

The moment I realized what I was doing was crazy. I was shivering and thought I get fired if anything went wrong.

fortunately I just duplicated the original data for the test, and the system was built to ignore unnecessary updates... so the data was correct and nothing went wrong.

Not an active stupid dev choice but still something I will remember for a while.

She asked me what I was doing
Told her I was working on an application
She said she wants to help
I agreed

[Is she the one♡]

One of the embarrassing moment for me..
Whenever some colleague pings me whenever I was busy coding I would reply "1 sec", finish whatever I was doing then talk to them.
But what happened one day was I sent "1 sex" instead to couple of the colleagues... When I realised it was very embarrassing..
Since then I have stopped using "1 sec" and use "1 min" instead.

Up until last year I was pre-med. I graduated college with a bachelors in Biology. Took my MCAT, prepped my med school applications for submission, and then realized I didn’t wanna pursue this pseudo-dream I had for so long. I realized the reality of the sacrifice and the lifestyle I was gonna make and began to regret not studying what I truly liked to be doing on my off time which is computers and programming. Long story short, here I am back in school getting a degree in CS, and can whole heartily admit, I’m happy doing/learning what I love.

It’s amazing how life works. Never would I have imagined that I’d make a switch like that, but I know it’s the best decision I’ve made so far.

The story of how I stumbled onto devrant:

Not long ago I was struggling with visual studio and did not know what to think, do or say. The only thing I wanted to do was scream while I banged my laptop against the wall. Just before doing that I googled "fuck Vs fuck Microsoft" and I was introduced to devrant. Something about reading the rqnts of frustrated developers made me calm (It also made me laugh). So what I really want to say is: thank you devrant for saving my money.

I took a Computer ethics class some time ago, and at some point, we talked about honesty in Computer Science.

There was one thing that bothered me that we never had the chance to touch on, but how do I know that the button I'm clicking is doing what I want it to do?

I mean seriously there is really nothing that is stopping someone from making fake buttons that pretend to do what they say they are doing. I might be uninstalling something on my computer, but can I "really" trust that the software was "completely" removed?

As a developer I always strive for honesty, but that doesn't mean other people are.

How do you guys deal with this?

One day i type hello world program.
And i was amazed that for the first time someone (something) is doing what i tell it to do.
And that's how i got interest in programming.

I just remembered that when I was a kid, it was really popular to make personal websites with those simple website builders. Wanna know the funny thing? My parents wouldn't let me build my own website. Well look what I'm doing with my life now mom 😂

So I was doing homework questions for an online course, and they basically amounted to following instructions and typing in the result. I wondered, "what the hell kind of person fails something like this?"

Then I remembered users.

So, for my C class, the computers in the lab are using VS 2015. To be able to compile C we have to change some settings to allow the program to compile.
I like to use my computer (with Arch Linux) and use my tools (Vim and GCC).

The guy next to me was trying to do the homework, but he was struggling. I decided to give it a shot and I was able to do it, so I showed him my code and he tried it in the computer.
The program crashes every time no matter what. We asked the professor. I show him my code and how it's working. Apparently he was confused because I was using the terminal and not VS. So he proceeded to said that it's because I'm not using VS2015 and GCC is doing the whole work for me.

I'm like ಠ_ಠ and then he keeps saying that he doesn't know what or how GCC works (for real? Someone that teaches C and has a Ph. D on CS doesn't now what GCC is?) but that it is apparently doing everything for me. So my code should be wrong if it crashes on VS2015.... ಠ_ಠ

What do you think? I'm thinking about talking with the head department of CS (I know that he is a Linux guy) and see what happens. Should I do it? Or should I just use VS2015 as the "professor" is asking?
I even tried online compilers to see if it was just working on my computer, but even they use GCC to compile.

that moment when you were still new to git commands and just typed in random commands while thinking of a stupid dog meme saying I have no idea what im doing then accidentally pushing something in prod and had no idea what to do cause the lead dev was not around... aahhh those were the days

Was in a meeting today when it was announced by some higher ups that everyone but me can now leave. After it was just me and some higher ups they began to praise my work and congratulate me for being 2 days ahead of schedule. Before I realised what my mouth was doing, I'd said "two days ... so far"

My coworker (the safety officer of our department) came into my cubicle today and after standing there a few minutes with his phone out, I asked him what he was doing. He responded by saying "I noticed theres a Caterpie in your cubicle. As the safety officer, it is my duty to remove it, as it is causing a tripping hazard". I thanked him and we both went back to what we were doing.

In early 2016 I got a front end web development job.

<1 month later, was fired from thatfront end web development job.

Reason: After several years focused primarily on social media marketing, I didn’t know what the hell I was doing and couldn’t catch up fast enough to what their shop was using. My coding skills were way more out of date than I ever anticipated.

In retrospect, the only reason I got the job was that their 3rd party skills testing website repeatedly wouldn’t submit my results and didn’t change up the questions, so by the time it finally did, I had guessed 90% of the answers correctly. I registered as a false positive and that was, apparently, enough for their HR person.

Rock up at work 10:30.

"What are you doing out your wanking chariot this early?"

"Aye, was there a fire where you live or something?"

Good thing I have flexitime!

So I tried to render the Facebook page plug-in and guess what..

Some guy at Facebook has added an online style on the preview: display: none !important.

So the plug-in preview was literally empty, thought I was not doing it right, how can the act of simply entering a url be wrong, seriously?

Production bug at Facebook facepalm

i remember doing this stupid thing in java which would instantiate some object every frame or something like that which would make your computer run out of memory in a few seconds

do you want to know what my genius solution was

run System.gc() every frame

i was like 8 fucking years old i didn't know what i was doing

almost a year ago, i have no idea of what i was doing at work cause everything was new: coding languages, databases, clients, co-workers, etc. i had 0 experience and i am back here again on devRant after 3836382 years and i am proud to say i've learnt so much and have been promoted to Project Manager. im happy asf and i am now ready for another round of dev rants!

My first hackathon when I was in my university. I never used to work on any side projects apart from assignments and academic projects. I was so shocked when I saw that people were so dedicated in developing a working product in a weekend sacrificing sleep and food. I got so depressed that I wasn't doing anything and people around me were doing so much!!!!! That's when I was motivated to learn more, do more, work more. After this, I never missed a single hackathon while I was studying :) I'm so much better at what I do now because of hackathons.

Been working in Linux server for a while, doing devOps and basic task automation with bash.

Today I have to write some .bat task for backup and moving files in Windows first time against .bat . What the hell was this people thinking when they made the .bat sintax is just awful. I understand is old but why. And tried also powershell still crap.

Just recently I found myself in the position I never thought I would. I was at work and my boss said, "Hey could you pickup *Item* from *sister location*? So I went to *sister location* I knew what I was looking for but I couldn't remember what they were called. So I asked one of my coworkers," Hey, I'm supposed to pick up something here." She didn't know what I was talking about. I told her I could remember what they were called.

Her response: "If you don't know what the were called, why do you EVEN come over here?" The rudeness in her voice was unmistakable.

In retrospect I could have been rude right back but there where people nearby and I had already decided I didn't like her. She is the kind of girl that you assume spends her paycheck on outfits. (or maybe she just dresses well I can never be sure, but I digress) Eventually I found what I was supposed to do. By the time I had to go to back for the second batch of *items*, I get sent back to my boss's office. To my surprise, my boss had overheard what happened.

Apparently one of the people nearby thought SHE was being rude and REPORTED HER.

It was incredible; someone was offended FOR ME?!!!

I have no idea how you even go about doing that where I work. I went back to work and I saw her walk though the door to the boss's office. I actually felt a bit sorry for her.

!rant
Wish me luck! Just landed a new exciting job as full stack developer! Finally I get to do what I truly want!!!
I can't express how happy I am right now! Finally done with being a supporter!! (was originally hired to only manage Windows servers and not doing external customer support)

Alright, I need suggestions. I live in a small town and outside of my primary job, I own my own IT business. A lot of (l)users have eagerly asking if I’ll be teaching classes to explain some of the key things a computer is capable of doing. (Most of them will be elderly.)

How much would you charge for this? I’ve got about 20 people confirmed and I was thinking about doing 20$ a head. What seems reasonable? Keep in mind, this is a smaller sized town.

After doing a regular CV update, I realised I started coding more than a quarter of a century ago... I then remembered the first command the succeedded on my first PC.

format C:

There was a book that expained how to format a floppy disk (format A:) but it didn't work. At that time I had no idea what floppy is but I knew that C: works, so I thought I'd give it a try...

Oh, was there laughter in the repair shop :)

My PM frequently asked me what I'm doing as a Programmer in my Team because he wants to understand us better - I first started out explaining him every Detail of our work - he didn't get it - I then simplified it and told him We are creating the functionality and Gameplay features - he didn't get it. I then finished our conversations with telling him what I do like that "I drink coffee and I know things" - he was satisfied and I could work on

I was assigned the research of an issue, after doing that I told in a meeting what we needed to solve, then someone asked which engineer would take care of that so I said me and they didn't listen. Then they asked again and someone else spoke before I could. I can't have good performance if they don't give me tasks. I'm bored of doing nothing, fuck quarantine making people forget I exist.

I brought my laptop and stuff to school the other day, it was my final period before school was over and it was more "do what you want" kind of thing. So I was playing with my terminal (since I have Linux) and one of the students came up to me and asked "What are you playing? Is that a game?", luckily I wasn't in that pissy mood so I just tried my best to explain to him what I was doing.

So a server goes down and being the only person who can recover it, I get started, whilst doing this the boys sits right next to me (6 inches) and starts asking what caused the problem instead of letting me get on and fix it, then complains the outage was too long.

I decided to quit my job. I was supposedly hired as an Android developer, but during the past few months I found myself doing everything except Android development: SQL scritps, frontend web development, backend web development, RESTful API's, DBA, release engineering... There's nothig wrong about being versatile, it's actually fun, but I wasn't doing what I really wanted to do and, most importantly, the manager didn't appreciate the fact that I was doing things that I'm not supposed to do, and not only that, I was doing it just as good as some full time web devs who do nothing but web development in the company. I'm pissed off. They probably believe the next Android dev they hire will do all the shit I was doing, accepting the same pay. Fuck them.

That feeling when your housemate restarts the WiFi router without telling anyone while you were doing some remote work.....

Would it kill you to at least notify us? I would really love to see what happens if my other housemate was on a ranked CSGO match or something...

my temper has improved a lot, but around high school i had a really short fuse. we were doing a programming homework and i really blew up with this guy.

the day before the deadline i couldn't finish the work (that i was doing solo), because i had a violin recital. i told the other 3 to finish it, it was very simple stuff. i got at school the next day, they hadn't done what i asked, and this asshat meddled with what i had done, so i had to fix his changes to my code and implement what was left an hour before class. i really gave him a piece of my mind, i was super pissed, and my friends were super awkward because I'm usually a quiet person, and it's scary when i get angry for real.

I have made a lot of friends due to code. I also made exactly one enemy.

A guy who had to turn everything into a contest to stroke his ego. He lost every time though. But he took every chance he could to shit on my code, despite demonstrating he didn’t know what he was doing.

PM: I don't like the number of meetings we have
Me: Oh I agree. We have too..
PM: We don't have enough of them.
Me: (oh... I was going to say that we need to cut back... But ok)
PM: I need better visibility into what everyone is doing.
Me: (so you wanna micromanage. Got it...)
Me: ... Gotcha, yup... Writing that down.

My work computer is currently so slow, I actually have a legitimate reason for browsing devRant.

Is that good or bad?

First day back at work, can't remember why my program wasn't working or what the fugg I was doing before I went on leave

I was taking some Ms certification courses a while back just for the pieces of paper since I didn't have a college degree. I took their entrance exam and apparently scored in te top 3% so I knew it was going to be a breeze.

I started out sitting near the front of the classroom, but I never really paid attention to the teacher, I worked through the practice book during lectures. This apparently distracted the class because they would come to me for help rather than raise their hand or ask the teacher.

Eventually he pulled me aside on a smoke break and asked what I was doing in his classroom if I already knew what I was doing. I explained the situation and he just laughed. But he did ask me to sit in the back corner quietly and allow him to teach the rest of the class. And I could do my thing until the certification exams.

I'm taking a computer sciece course for Java and I'm just getting into it. I have done other similar things but in different languages and one day the class was discussing the meaning of static and all of a sudden he stops projecting his screen and says one moment and I look at what he's doing and he's googling what to do like WTH your supposed to be teaching us not feeding us answers from google

I once had to do instruct some students about doing some project. On the first day, I gave some task and on the next day I checked all of them. Once you write codes for years you can realize what can a newbie write. I asked if he wrote that code by himself. And he was sure of it. But he did not know that that code was taken from my blog.

Recently (last 6 month) I am getting a feeling like I don't know what to do in my life. I don't have any short and long term plan for my life. No ambition and no will power to do anything. procrastinating all task and doing them when there is no time.

Recently I was offered equity in my company and I don't know if I want that. I don't have any answer to any question in my life.

Does anyone know what to do?

The reason I liked Captain Marvel, is because it wasn't about defeating something or someone. It was about remembering who you are, picking yourself up, and moving forward with what you've always wanted to do.

This is a similar situation with most designers and developers.

If you watch it again, notice that she was always falling hard. From riding a bike to completing an obstacle course, she would try something and fail.

But she kept trying.

After losing sight of her goals by being distracted and derailed by someone else with another agenda - she was slowly reminded of them, and eventually remembered what she forgot.

Then, not only was she was able to what she originally set out to do - but, ended up doing them better than she ever expected.

If that's not a great story for boys and girls to grow up with - and, for adults to learn from (including some of my peers) - I honestly don't know what is.

In a lecture and all the guy is doing is reading out of a book that was handed out at the start of term.

The saying those who can no do teach and those who can not teach teach maths comes to mind.

What am I paying for...

An old client came back to me stating that I didn't fix the last change he requested a month ago. I went in old emails, found out what he needed, tried the website, it was doing exactly what he wanted.

I wrote to him with confusion asking what was he wanted me to fix.

"It's not working"
"It is"
"No, it's not. Can't you see?"

I attached old email conversations and sent him to see for himself.

"I am not talking about that." I want it to work like this, like that, blah blah blah.

-------------

Fucking asshole. Tell me you wanted new feature in the website.

Yesterday I had a phone screening with a hiring manager and was expected to talk about more of my expertise and just my experience overall. With four years of experience, I thought I could tell her everything she needed to know.

However, this interview was just kind of... weird. Literally every question she asked was defintiions. It was as if I was doing a short answer quiz.

"What is object-oriented programming?"
"What is a hashmap versus a list?"
"What is class inheritance?"

Like... What the fuck. These are questions that give no insight into who I am or how I work. This is shit you see on a second-year midterm exam. What a waste of time.

Just now I was texting with my little sister, telling her how I'm doing, about that Foobar email etc... My sister replies: "Um.. foobar? Isn't that that place where you get your broken devices repaired?"

… It took me much longer than I'd like to admit to realize what bar she was referring to... Genius! XD

You ever spend a few weeks on a problem. Make little headway on it then get distracted and forget about it for 2 months only to comeback and fix/finish the entire thing in a handful of hours.

That was me today. Could not get something to work back in March. Didn't touch it till today. And just magically I knew what I was doing wrong before

Some days I feel like I really know what I am doing and today was not one of these days...

Working on a game engine using Vala and now using Raylib in the backend for rendering and input.

Wrote a VAPI for Raylib and when I was doing the 'Rectangle' struct... I made it's members integers when they are floats...

So this whole time; when using a camera everything would jitter like crazy.... because I was taking the transform which is all floats... rounding it then casting to an int only for the int to be cast into a float again....

Lo and behold; changing the members to floats and removing the rounding and casting makes everything silky smooth...

I have been debugging every bit of my current render loop trying to work this out when it was 100% unrelated.... I hate myself sometimes

My first experience with any kind of development was in a web mastering class in high school. I got super into it and started going really far ahead in the course materials.

During the second semester most students in the class were not interested at all so I decided to start a business of selling custom tailored assignments to about half the class. It didn't make me rich of course, but it felt good being the HTML / CSS god in the class.

The best part honestly was getting caught. The principal was so impressed at the amount of extra work I'd been doing that he just gave me a detention. Thanks Mr. Murray, for being so cool and not putting me down for doing what I love.

My status update for tomorrow:
"I've done the tests and have the results, now all I have to do is work out what the numbers mean coz I started this task 6 months ago and have spent most of the last 6 months putting out fires elsewhere and have no idea what I was doing".

*le me working hard, in the zone*

*a wild popup appear*

*logitech wants to update*

*I look*

*I'm annoyed, I want to continue with what I was doing*

errrhmm what was in doing again?

*Out of the zone*

Fucking update notifications

Ever been tasked with a modification, you see the code and think WTF??!!!??

Yes it was me who wrote it, what was I thinking? So I going to have to refactor this rubbish, so I set about tidying it up and realise that this is far more complex than I remember. When I finally get to grips with every aspect of it, I come to the conclusion that actually this is quite clever.

Straight up removed the changes, walked away from the original code and got on with what I was supposed to be doing to start with. Oh well, guess I got to grips with something I had forgotten.

So I went through the first round Google interview process and was declined for not "finishing fast enough" even though I did in fact solve the problem in the allotted time.

Either it's a BS excuse and they were just interviewing me to interview me for a quota or there is some invisible time limit that I am not aware of.

Really annoys me when I just don't know exactly what I'm doing wrong and instead get what feels like cop out answers.

First day on the new job :) I am getting paid more than what I was doing in my other job while doing less and what I will be doing is mostly front end with small bits of php and cms :) fucking stocked man!! You telling me I get to play with react, angular or whatever I want? Omgisudisjzusjdhieeid

I was happily folowing a tutorial earlier on setting up an email server but the site got taken down for maintenance just as I reached the last step...

IT'S BEEN 6 HOURS NOW AND IT'S STILL NOT BACK UP.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING AND I'M GOING TO BREAK SOMETHING AND BE SAD.

I always thought the hate on senior developers doing stupid stuff was exaggerated... Mine just pulled an entire table, then used 4 for loops to reduce the records by criteria... I don't think he knows what the where statement is in SQL!

idk why I'm so anxious about money... I'm not broke, I'm better than most people my age, ffs i have savings, but whenever i think of spending on sh*t i need i start thinking about what if i get fired, what if i have to move back with my parents, where do i put my cat???
wish my brain was doing better tbh

So I was designing a transformer and was looking up toroidal cores. The one I had in mind was made of a material the manufacturer calls “3E5”. Looking for a material datasheet I found a website with a download link for a material “300000”…

Dear web devs: How the fuck is that even possible? I can see what happened here but who thought whatever they were doing there was a good idea?

a co-worker was approached a conference by a guy asking what she was doing there. I don't think he was expecting the answer "I'm speaking at this conference". I can't imagine being a woman in tech

Alright so I’m in the final stages of my companies website. I want advice from you all. Instead of ads for extra revenue, I’m asking you all personally; How would you feel if a website (yes, like what the famous pirating company was doing) used your computers processing power to mine while the website was open? There wouldn’t be any annoying ads and I could simply hide it in an iframe?

Negative and positive feedback please.

Today i was trying to solve a problem on my graphs algorithm (find the shortest path) but i was not able to do almost anything, so i asked for help to a friend.

He started to try to help me, but after a long reasoning we both stopped to understand what we were doing.

After a while, i've decided to run the code totally random and... it worked! And that's not all, it worked better than we were trying to do!

What a lucky shot😎
(Sorry if there are some errors, english isn't my first language)

Ugggg!

I am about fed up with Windows.

I leave app/programs open at night because I have a bad memory, and they were important to what I was doing.

I wake up: Windows Login Screen. Apparentally windows decided to restart my computer during the night.

Ohh what joy.~

Now I have to rememeber what the fuck I had open - and it was mostly work related.

I would have left for Linux ages ago, but I'm a gamer.. And most of my games are for windows.. Some are even Windows Store Apps..

Windows.. Why don't you give a shit about us..

And before you ask..
I have Auto Updates Disabled (Not that that really fucking matters with windows..)
I have all sleep and power saver settings disabled.

When I was in my final year of B.Tech.
There we had to do one major project so me and my friend both decided to build QUERA project for college. So as planned we informed to our superior and we got clean chit.
But later on we didn't know what to do??
That time my friend also didn't have programming awareness so days were going on. And the final month came and till then no progress.
My F was suggesting for purchase.
I was little bit worried too.
Then I had decided to build.
So me alone started building without any copying of templates from web(Actually at that time I didn't know that we can copy templates from web) so stupidly I was building templates using HTML and CSS. Parallely I was doing with php and phpmyadmin(SQL queries).
Seriously it was in PHP.
So this was running for approximately 14 days.
And believe me in that 14 days I was just doing project with all this stuff (obviously eating & 5 hrs sleep).

So, here the fun came

I was near to completion of my project but on last day I was not feeling well so I went to medical for some tablets.

And you know what, I was applying CSS in my mind on that tablet cover which was in rectangular shape.

Literally I was applying :D

Finally, I submitted project and got A+ for that.
Happy ending!

Why do teachers tend to not explain parts of their code?
I got some C++ material and example code for doing some rendering, and the material says "these parts are not important".
Guess what? If the whole thing does not compile when i remove the unimportant code, it was fucking important!

Holy crap, just started working again on a personal project after a 1-month hiatus... Really struggling to get my head back where it was, I have (almost) no clue what I was doing or why.
Even the commit log and the comments and docs I've left around seem empty somehow.

Any good tips/tools for retracing steps? How do you start working on a codebase you've never touched before?

you know what was fun?
Back in 2012, I started developing an app for the windowsphone (7 back then) which was basically an offline backup navigation for pilots with a few extras likr weather data for pre flight planning.

It was so cool doing all this back then, because there weren't many wp devs out there.

Microsoft even sent me 6 different phones (straight from Redmond) to play with (and keep them).

Those were the days 😀😀

Here it goes,

So there I was a Linux enthusiast stuck in a windows job for about 3 years. I would spend my weekends doing Linux related tasks for my personal amusement, while I spent my week doing windows maintenance and development (partially) professionally.
It was about 2014 I started building an openstack cluster at home and i was so stoked! I searched for openstack summits or meetups and for my surprise there was an openstack meetup in my town. Holly 🐄 I said.
The date of the event came and I left work earlier to attend the meetup.
There , I had a talk with the meetup organizer/speaker and he told he was interested in what I was doing and that they were going to open a job in the next months.

A few months later still at my boring job I got an email from him for an interview.
Everything went just about right...and here I am a Linux systems engineer doing everything I love for a living...

I work remotely from the rest of my team and I just came back from a 1 week vacation. Logged in this morning and no one else was online...

My first thought was WTF happened... did something blow up do bad they all gelot fired???

Turns out today is a holiday for them. So now I've a whole day of peace and quiet to figure out what the hell in supposed to be doing again.

Hey boss. I’m not a mind reader. If you need me to change what I’m doing or how I’m doing it, you have to tell me. You changed my job three times since I was hired and our processes twice. Now would be a good time to pick a play and stick with it.

Me: Hey, I looked into the bug, *explain what it was, how I fixed it, when it will be pushed etc.*

Boss: *calls immediately* How are you doing with the bug?

Me: ... I sent you a message?

Don't know.

All I know is that I suck at calculus but I write good code.
Weird.

If I would have to decide, early on I wrote random stuff 'til it worked.
Then I attempted to comprehend what I just did and started reading books.

That's probably when I first understood what I was doing.

Last year in my job, I was temporarily assigned to another team to help out in their project as they were short-staffed. It was a massive project and of course there was a lot of code review to be done. But since I was only temporarily assigned, I still have to do code reviews for my base team, this other team I was assigned to, and for some reason, code review for another team that I barely know what their project is about.

There were times where all I was doing was code reviews that took anywhere between a few minutes to upto 3 days. The amount of mistakes and bugs I kept finding was phenomenal. But I think the one thing that got to me was finding the same bugs/mistakes that I kept pointing out to people to stop doing or to fix e.g DB queries inside a loop just to retrieve data.

To this end I still have to deal with the same issue, but thankfully now it's only to one team.

I thought I at least was OK at JavaScript, but today I looked at a tictactoe implementation, and with all the fancy new syntax I have no clue what most of it is doing.

Just got off a call doing some classic "I know you are not tech support but please help me connect my iPhone to my computer", and I heard the following words:

"What's the Windows start button?"

This was not a boomer. This was not a Gen Y, Gen X, or even Millenial!

I shit you not, a zoomer did not know what or where the windows start button was.

Since roughly 1 year ago I have been making "leftoff" comments in my code, whenever a work day ended or so, with a few notes on what I was doing and what I was about to work on next.

And I recommend it, I think that's good practice. Because I forgot to do it on friday and I have no GOD DAMN CLUE what I was working on :|

What are you doing crashing on me Windows?

All I was doing was running a flight simulation, compiling a build, and doing a regex search over 6 directories. Try to open one little document and it all goes to hell.

Surely you can handle that Windows?

Apparently not.

I came home about 1am and saw a bug in a small (unpaid...) project that had to do with timezones (see some earlier rants). Fixed it, got to bed.
A few days later I realized that a feature I implemented before was gone. Going through the git log I found out it was me in that night who removed it, by accident I suppose.
Not the end of the world but I was quite intrigued by my own drunk ability to remove a feature that had nothing to to with what I was doing and not even noticing it.

Comming back to devRant after 2 years.. I dont know what I was doing during

Not dev related but what is the fucking point of someone saying I'm going there to do that and when i ask them to show me THAT what they did they say "oh it was so bad I'm not gonna show you haha"

Like how do i explain it without being rude.....

........

Here's a savage example scenario

---

Your wife: "i just came back from a mountain in the middle of nowhere filming an ad and in gonna be in that ad"

You: "cool. Id love to see that ad, could you show it to me?"

Your wife: "noo i was so ugly and it was so bad im not gonna show u"

---

What are you gonna think? What was your wife filming secretly behind your back and she doesnt want to show you? Was she even filming in the first place? Or was she fucking a guy? What is one supposed to think of this conversation? Why fucking tell me ur gonna go there and do that and then not talk about it at all after doing it? What the FUCK who DOES THAT ???

For me it is not difficult to explain other people what I am doing as a programmer, but what company I am working for. We write software for the administration of cemeteries. People often look at me like I am joking. So I was wondering: What was your weirdest project/Job as a developer?

What was supposed to be an inoffensive shutdown during the weekend for maintenance became a nightmare today. The storage went to the space thanks to a system admin who was supposed to know what is doing. Since there is no power button I just pulled the power cord, he said.

loop {

So I want to write a simple program in language X. Create a new project. Language X does not have this feature. Okay, Let me write a library that does that for language X. Create a new project. What was I doing again?!

}

Weekly Q: How do you keep yourself motivated?
A: No matter what - I allocate a little bit of time every week to something I really care about right now.

When I was green it was mostly learning. Now it's mostly codebase cleanup, dev experience improvement or dabbling with some feature that's not prio.

Might not sound like a lot but doing it weekly does add up.

I spent about 45 mins this morning going through memes and gaming videos till my workstation finished doing updates.

On one side: fuck updates, what in the holy fuck.

On the other side: fuck yeah, down time to do bs.

I ain't even gonna bitch about Microsoft. It is what it is. Legit no complaints.

Just wish the process was maybe a lil bit similar to Debian updates maybe. Just maybe.

Manager: "are you doing this obscure process that I laid out months ago with no plan or follow through?"

Me: "no, my other 3 managers said they didn't see any value in it, not sure how to keep everyone happy"

Manager: "that's not what we want! You need start doing this obscure process now!"

We have 20 engineers total in my company and I have 4 managers. Office Space was a documentary.

my best career decision?
discarding my original plan to do PhD and get into (natural) science, studying computer science / software engineering instead, and starting software development in a company that builds cool devices.
i really like what i am doing and i feel like i found something that's "my thing".

it took me a while to get there, but it was totally worth it.

I drop a pile from top of my head. Don’t bother to read.

About release:
When is release ? ( discussed 2 minutes ago )
Who will release ? ( there is always same person doing it )
What was added ?
What information add to clients about release ? ( it was always the same )

About bugs and features:
There is this bug.... ( without specifying)
It doesn’t work. ( there are 3 environments )
Is this ok ? ( clicking randomly )
Is this bug fixed ? ( without specifying )
Where is this feature ? ( while looking at webpage with feature )
How to use this ? ( not specifying what )
Where ? ( while clicking randomly )
When ? ( while scrolling calendar )
Why ? ( still clicking )
Where to click ? ( what I am doing here ? )

About meetings:
When is meeting ?
Where is meeting ?
Why we’re meeting?
Who will be there ? ( information in calendar )

I heard all of them at least once per month. Now I’m recovering at home and my friends are asking why I’m tired.

Background:
I graduated high school from a technical school. And my teacher asked me to come in a few times a week and assist (which I LOVE doing)

So they’re working with circuits and raspberry pi’s and when I can in they pointed out that there was a project they couldn’t get to work. So I had to look at it. Now I was not given the original it was one a student tried to copy in (like they were supposed to) but it was awful. All the indentation was even more off than the original and on top of that. The original and what I was given wouldn’t give an error code.. and so I had no idea what was happening so I just decided to try to fix the indentation and take out stuff that didn’t look right (what else was I supposed to do when I didn’t know where to start?) and while I was doing it another student started to try to fix it and it legit barely took 5 minutes and now my spirit and confidence is broken. I wasn’t petty I observed the result and congratulated him cause he deserved it. After I took the code and put it on my laptop and figured out it was an “inconsistent use of tabs and spaces” error which is fucking stupid and I’ve never seen that in python before so after I debugged that there wasn’t really anything left to debug. So I guess I somewhat redeemed myself but I still feel like shit

A friend of mine invited me to a project he was given. So basically is a flutter project already started by a guy on Fiverr... I'm just mad at the code the guy wrote! Now we have to refactor the ENTIRE code because the guy didn't know what he was doing!!!

This is my 1st rant, if i did something wrong, please rant at the comment section

I was finally able to fix this other persons code when I accepted the fact that they don’t know what the fuck they’re doing

My little brother and his friends had a lan party the other day! It took me years but now he and all his friends are proper PC gamers. I hand built my little bros rig, feelsgoodman.

Side note, I think I've converted my siblings and cousins into techies by accident. I'm the oldest so they always asked what I was doing and I taught them what I knew. Now I'm the one learning stuff from them!

I left my previous job to concentrate on finishing up University. I've been working full-time at another company and doing freelance on the side since then.

Not too long ago I saw my old boss and he told me i shoud apply back at the company and get back working Front-end.

I went to check the job posting. To my surprise, the qualifications they were asking were completely different than what I was doing at the time.

I'm no longer qualified for my old job despite being more experienced and still learning.

Nothing shits me more than being interrupted every two hours for a "huddle". Shove your buzzword up your ass and fuck off so I can actually get some work done. What am I currently working on? The same fucking thing I was doing before you interrupted me again for a status update.

So I was hired as a Graphic Designer. Now I'm tasked with the new job title of Graphic Designer/Web Coder/IT/Warehouse Inventory Inspector/Intern/Secretary. I have no idea what I'm doing anymore...

Back when I was doing my uni final year project. i was given the choice of either writing codes or writing documentation (graphs, requirement and a whole lot of other madeup bullshit)

I deicide go with coding, sign up with laracast. watch a whole lot of screen cast. and BOOM, coding is easy - I was literally quoting bombastic technical terms like many-to-many relationship to my group mates after 2 videos. (didn't even know what was bootstrap at that time) Thats was when I decide I wanna code for a living. Laravel made me a developer.

i hate this fucking life so much why do i have to fucking exist WHAT IS THE FUCIJG POINT OF DOING SOMETHING YOU HATE WITH PASSION DOIMG AND NOT DOING WHAT U WANT TO BE DOING I DO NOT UNDERSTA D THIS LIFE

THIS existence/life is the Biggest BITCH i have ever fucking met FUCK YOU

CANNOT BE SUCCESSFUL DOING SOMETHING YOU HATE.

there was a philosopher who said "this life is pain and the only purpose of living is to reduce this pain as much as possible in order to be more happy" WHAT THE FCUK THAT IS MORE DEPRESSING THAN HAVING A FKIG CANCER

WHY DONT I JUST GET SOME INCURABLE DISEASE INSTEAD OF LIVING? OR GET HIT BY A CAR?

WhAT

I AM SO FUCKING NOT IN THE MOOD FOR ANYTHING

WHAT

as i was writing this rant by coming back from ffffffftffffffffffFFFfFFFfFFFFCKING college i went into a bus and there was a woman in front of me with an english text on the back of her shirt saying "she believed she could so she did. she designed a life she loved." WHAT

YO WHAT

THIS WAS PUT IN FRONT OF MY FACE AT RANDOM SPONTANEOUSLY

DID GOD JUST GIVE ME A FKIG SIGN OR SOMETHING?? "MY LIFE SUCKS RIGHT NOW BUT I CAN TURN IT INTO THE LIFE I LOVE" IS THAT WHAT A HIGHER SPIRITUAL BEING IS TRYING TO TELL ME RIGHT NOW???

WHAT IS THIS

HOW DO I FEEL RIGJT NOW

I DONT GET IT

MHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hh

After about 2 hours of debugging realised this is what I was doing. It's time to go to sleep

I was hired with the promise of being able to grow by doing as a software developer. After one year of reminding them almost once a week that I wasn't being able to do any development, but put in a position where I was somehow a Product Owner, today we had a meeting where I was suggested as a PO for real for next year. Funnily enough, our manager laughed and said that he knew I didn't want that. But still... no other name came up.

Sometimes, even if you are capable of doing something and doing it right, if that's not what you want to do, you should do it wrong. Otherwise, if there is the need for someone to do that thing you hate but can do, you will end up being the one that does it.

PO my balls...

Not exactly a dream abour coding but my favorite instructor in college.

I dreamt the secret police came to arrest him on campus since his methods teaching cod were unorthodoxed.

As they were leading him away I was screaming and crying - “He’s the best teacher here, what are you doing!”

weird

Do you need a degree to become a software engineer ?

Now this is a question I’ve seen many people ask. I personally have no degree and I’ve been doing programming for the past 10 years (since I was 18 ). Whatever I learned, I learned from reading and watching tutorials.
So far It wasn’t a problem for me.

What do u guys think and what is your experience is this matter ?

I was doing some refactoring code, I was about to commit , but I realised this, I chuckled , what a silly of me.....

Background: I'm doing a migration from FileMaker to JavaFX

My PM asked me what was going to be the main page of the system and he gave me an ugly option, to which I answered with a dashboard example, so now he wants me to change everything so that our app looks like the one I showed him

Awesome! //not.. :/
Was checking what the F I was doing wrong, my files didn't show up in changes.. found out someone thought it was a good idea to put *.cs to ignore file.. :/
What are .cs files?! We don't need them anyways.. :/ o.O
Fuck!

Being off sick for two weeks and then trying to get back into your coding like "what was I doing?" I simply cant remember or know where to start!

Decided to get rid of a system app but forgot to disable stupid System Integrity Protection (OS X stuff) first so it flipped back at me with a thousand of "Permission denied" errors.
Whispers behind me (it was in the public):
— What is he doing?
— I don't know. I think recompiling the kernel...

Trying (for fun) to run a GNUStep Obj C program that calls c headers has proven something to me:
I really do not know what I am doing with makefiles and should probably slowly and respectfully walk away to continue doing what i was doing in c++

Kids, documentation reading is important.

I also do happen to really like objc

Today I wasted hours trying to do a HTTP POST request by using a query string in the URL. After some hours I realised what I was doing wrong. I'm so stupid.

Yesterday was my first day at Uni and it was amazing. We did just math like for 7 hours and today too. Actually we're gonna be doing it the whole week even on saturday. Finally I can study what I want 💪.
Just wanted to share my excitement with my fellow devs 😉.

I had a tight deadline so what I did to finish the feature was to cut corners by not writing optimized code and not doing enough dev testing to ensure the feature works.

End of today, I've moved the ticket to QA.

I just saw a rant shared on facebook, and I instinctively hovered my mouse on the ++ before I realized what I was doing.

Going from a project in fire and 60+ hours a week back down to in-between projects and 40 hours a week. For the first week I was so confused on what I should be doing. Now I realize I have time for my own projects. I bet my work like goes crazy just as soon as I get into something.

I finished my collage and got a job in a very good company which paid very handsome salary and I was excited very much as I always wanted to be a developer and develop application which would be used by many people , but as the days gone by in my workplace i felt to depressed at work and slowly the interest and excitement faded away , sometimes I question myself what is the purpose of life and what iam doing ?

So a friend / batch-mate in our accelerator asked me if I was okay with installing a monitoring software for a client our startups are collaborating for. And the said client was ranting how I've been appearing offline to him since morning...

Bitch I'm already letting you monitor my shit from morning to night, I don't need your French ass snooping around what I'm doing outside of office hours.

Fucker.