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Since past two-three years, Indian Government has been organizing a Hackathon called Smart India Hackathon for college students. And Luckily our team was selected this year.
This team had 5 Electronics Student and 1 Computer Student. Guess who the Computer Student was? Yea, Me.
They Knew nothing about Android Development. And the idea was about an Android Development. I was the only person who could code.
The centre for our hackathon was Varanasi and we live in Hyderabad. So we had to go there. I have not really travelled a lot in the trains (especially not this far from Hyderabad to Varanasi ). During the whole 37 hours journey, I was not able to sleep cause I am not accustomed to sleeping on a train.
The moment we reached Varanasi the hackathon had started which was 36 hours long. Normally team members switch places so that they can sleep but not ours. Cause I was the only one coding and it had to be done in this 36 hours. So add this up 36+36 hours of no sleep, I must have rarely slept for 3-4 hours in that 72 hours.
After the hackathon, I slept like a Snorlax whereas the other went for a trip around Varanasi ('_')19
After months and months of unrealistic deadlines, pulling late night shifts coupled with an insane commute and two very small children at home I had a total burnout. Turned up to work one morning, and stared at the Java code I had been writing for the past couple of days and it might as well have been written in Martian. The more I stared, and the more I tried to keep things together internally the less I was able to make sense of anything - just a random jumble of characters on screen that were as intelligible as the green scrolling lines from The Matrix.
My office manager saw that I was obviously in some distress and took me into a meeting room to have a quick chat - and there I was, a grown man of 35 bawling my eyes out like a two year old. Not the most edifying moment of my life.
However, the company couldn't have been more supportive afterwards; one of my colleagues drove the 100 miles to get me home in my car and took a train back up to the office; my GP signed me off work for six months and treated me for severe depression; the office instituted stricter working policies - not on the developers, but the sales/PM teams that were handing down ridiculous timescales simply so they could get a sale.
For my part, I've learnt to push back and say "NO!" - work is not your life, it's an important part of your life, but my no means everything. Don't feel beholden to a company to meet unrealistic targets that you haven't agreed to. Talk.6
Was writing a first product for my best friend and my first company/startup. (that one is on hold now by the way).
Spent about a month doing a full-time internship and also programming after that the entire day. Weekends full of programming as well and after a few weeks I noticed that when turning around/walking quickly, I lost my balance.
Went to the doctor who immediately asked if I worked loads and loads to which I answered yes.
He took a look at my daily patterns in general and then told me that I was having a thing which you were only supposed to get at old age and that I was heading towards a burnout because my body was highly not used to/ready for this.
Continued for a little and people started asking why I looked so white (my face lost color) and unhealthy.
Started to take care of myself and voilà, within weeks I was getting better :)7
I am so fucking pissed off that I am shivering right now and can't even type.
The incompetent bastards in my team don't work and nobody bats an eye.
I spend five minutes on internet for some excel formula to enhance my productivity for the given tasks and everyone loses their mind.
This has been going around for months now. Maybe a year.
I tried to switch projects but still awaiting any opening in other teams.
I am functioning normally as a human but deep down I am completely shattered and broken with nothing to look forward in life.
I have failed a countless times.
I have learned from every failure.
I have implemented the learnings and failed better.
But never once, have I succeeded.
What pisses me off is the fact that jerks and assholes get everything without having to struggle or put in bare minimum efforts for survival.
It's like the richs are getting richer and poors are getting poorer.
Life is unfair and everything you do will go down the drain.
There is nothing called good karma. You only have bad karma to fuck you up all the time be it job, life, relationship, finances, the girl you like or the job you dream about, the car you want or the good deed that you did the other day, the vacation you plan for or the ice cream you want to at the end of day.
The wait will drain you out and then you die a painful death with nothing but regrets of not having lived the life you desire.
You have fretted all your life until now for smallest of the smallest things. But do you even remember something that made you happy or you felt satisfied?
Not sure why people are afraid of death when real pain is given by life?
JUST FUCK EVERYTHING BECAUSE LIFE IS DISPAIR AMD JUSTICE WILL NEVER BE SERVED.36
Not a dev story, rather one from life in general.
My breakdown was back when I became homeless, pretty much lost everything and had to start all from scratch again. It's been one of the most difficult events in my life (and having been in not too great environments for most of my childhood, that's saying something) and I wouldn't even wish it upon the people that I hate the most.
Living just to survive the day and get shelter somewhere for the night, knowing that you have to move out again the next day is pure horror. That, and the social aspect of it really makes you question what "entitlement" really means. Human rights, the entitlement to shelter, food, water, etc... All of them are bonuses that society gives you, and they should not be taken for granted.
Back then I completely broke down, got suicidal, and started consuming drugs. Somehow however I got out, and now I have an apartment that I can truly call my own.. though it has taken tremendous support from healthcare organizations all across Belgium to make that happen... An act which I am really grateful for.
The moral of the story is that even in the worst parts of life, you should stay strong and keep fighting. After all, when you get out of it you'll be a lot stronger, and perhaps you can even look back to tell a nice story about it 😊21
Experiencing it right now.
As I type this I am sat in hospital having lost power to my hands over the weekend.
I work a day job, I have my own startup that I’m working on and I’m also freelancing on another startup.
Just been diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome. It sucks. My hands feel about as a strong as a particularly weak 4 year old girl.15
When I opened my digital agency it was me and my wife as developers, I had no savings and I needed to get long contracts ASAP which luckily I did straight away.
Lovely client, had worked for them before as a consultant so i thought it would be a breeze. Let's just say the project should've been named "Naivete, Scope Creep and Anger: The revenge".
What happened is that when this project was poised to end I naively thought I would be able to close the job, so I started looking for a new full time consultancy gig and found one where I could work from home, and agreed a starting date.
Well, the previous job didn't end because of flaws in my contract the client exploited, leaving me locked in and working full time, for free, for basically as long as he wanted (I learned a lot the hard way at that time) and I had already started the new agreed job. This meant I was now working 2 full time shifts, 16 hours per day.
Then, two support contracts of 2 hours per day were activated, bringing my work load to 20 hours/day.
I did this for 4 months.
The first job was supposed to last one month, and I was locked into it, all others had no end in sight which is a good thing as a freelancer, but not when you are locked into a full time one already. I could've easily done one 8 hours shift and two 2 hours jobs per day, but adding another 8 hours on top of it was insanity.
So I was working 10 hours, and sleeping 2. I had no weekends, didn't know if it was day or night anymore, I was locked in my room, coding like a mad man, making the best out of a terrible situation, but I was mentally destroyed.
I was waking up at 10am, working until 8pm, sleeping 2 hours until 10pm, working until 8am, sleeping 2 hours until 10am, and so on. Kudos to my wife for dealing with account and project management and administration responsibilities while also helping me with small pieces of code along the way, couldn't have survived without the massive amount of understanding she offered.
In the end:
- I forcefully closed the messed up contract job and sent all the work done to another digital agency I met along the way, very competent people, as I still cared about the project.
- I missed a deadline on my other full time contract by 2 days, meaning they missed a presentation for Adobe, of all people, and I lost the job
- The other two support contracts were finished successfully, but as my replies were taking too long they decided not to work with us anymore.
So I lost 4 important clients in the span of 4 months. After that I took a break of one month, slept my troubles away, and looked for a single consultancy full time contract, finding it soon after, and decided I wouldn't have my own clients for a good while.
3 years since then, I still don't have the willpower or the resources to deal with clients of my own and I'm happily trudging along as a consultant, while still having middle of the night nightmare flashbacks to that time.2
Following on from: https://devrant.com/rants/1345037/...
I sent a polite but very frank email to the manager telling him I don't agree and think its extremely unfair to overlook the breath and scale of work we have done in the past few months. Instead to criticise us for this.
He didn't reply, or really speak to us for a week. Then suddenly one day the developers were all in a meeting room and he butted in to talk.
He first of all said he wanted to let things settle before talking to us, which gave me high hopes as I expected him to then say something like we miss understood, or he didn't realise etc.
... but no ... the next words out of his mouth were "I'm not apologising for anything, and I don't want to be told to piss off in an email".
A) Piss off = completely untrue and a massive exaggeration.
B) Go fuck yourself with a cactus.
C) See point B.
In that meeting we discussed the massive amount of meetings and work we have to do which was described as "just the job".
We were told we all have to be in until 5pm, but that we also don't. We need to be in the office more, but its fine if we can't be. And we need to cut down on WFH, but its ok to WFH ... so yeah everything is crystal clear.
I haven't written any code in 3 - 4 weeks. I'm now dealing with GDPR shit, and our internal processes to handle it (despite having no legal background). Have to fill out 140+ question surveys about each of our projects, which are the most vaguest things i've ever seen.
"Are you processing large scale data" - The fuck is large scale, oh wait heres a definition. "Large scale is determine by volume or percentage of population size" - How in the name of christ is that a definition? Fucking lawyers and their bullshit.
The next round of applications for research funding is coming around soon and were being told to work on proposals (which are huge and a lot of effort). While being told we need to define and improve on our KPI's for the year. While trying to find time to ... you know ... do ... work?
I'm just so fucking bored and pissed off with this place. I have to do the work of 6 people, nothing is ever good enough, devs have to do very non-dev tasks with little to no support. Bosses are just annoyed about everything, everyones in a bad mood and everything sucks.
A friend put me forward for another senior role in another company. Thought this would be my saving grace. They have a strict interview process with white-boarding (which I hate) and will likely ask about algorithms etc which I suck at. I'm so burnt out from this place I just can't find the motivation to go study up or prepare properly.
I just wanna write code, why is there so much bullshit in life11
I was working on an Arduino counter (an inside joke) and I somehow sent 12V to an IC I was using.
it burned out.
I'll leave now3
The last 5 months have been tough.... My boss ( who was a close friend) quit and I become interim department head... Trying to run a team who didn't seem happy I'd taken the reigns.
At the same time my wife's ongoing battle with her anxiety had gotten worse and she really needed my help with everything possible at home..
In March I was confirmed as the HoD but I was still doing 3 to 4 days a week on client delivery, trying to support all presales activities, manage a team of 10 people, travel for work and support my family....😩
It really got to me and I was close to breaking... The worry of not replying to an email ASAP no matter what time of day would eat me up, working late every night... It got too much and I was running on fumes with my weekends just me completely wiped out and useless to the family. 😓
I had a escape last weekend to a 🍻 beer 🍻 festival with friends that I was considering not going too and just losing the money but the wife made me go...
And it broke me even more... So much that its somehow put the pieces back in the right order in my brain and snapped me out of my major rut!
Somehow, sitting with friends, making stupid jokes, drinking way too much and blocking out all the work crap gave my brain the hard reset it needed. 🤟
This week I've come back a different person ( wife's words) work is a breeze, exciting and encouraging.... 👊
I can't get enough of playing silly games with my kids all night
And couldn't feel any more positive about things if I tried.... Set that spark back for my wife too! 😏💏
So.... After that long rant 👀
Tl;Dr - work and life got too much... Close to giving up... Too much beer with good company gave me a hard reset and I feel like a new person.... 👍
Plus the team is now loving the new direction and strategy too 👔
Who says drinking is bad for you? 😂🍻11
Refactoring someone else's code (the dude's a senior).
I'm a junior, just updated my linkedin, burnout activated, I can't deal with this kind of shit no more.
Outro: this is the nicest piece of code from him, every other line of code just .... just.... D:16
I hate wish! It's so annoying! Oh, my freaking God. I went as far as to download the app to complain about it. I see it everywhere! Whenever I'm watching a clip on YouTube, a movie , playing a game, and obviously on T. V. I can't take this anymore! I downloaded this app, but it just comes off as confusing, I don't know, maybe because it's my first time here; I don't like the fonts and sizes they chose but anyways...wish, Oh, my God! I just wish for it to go away and leave me alone. 😑😡15
Please refer to my various previous rants.
I cannot share my story yet since burning hasn't stopped yet. Guess I will be able to share once the burn is really out.2
Fresh out of dropping out of uni with a real heaping of newly diagnosed depression.
Get job in the industry.
Absolute joke of a company, spiral even further.
Thus begins the saga of boom / bust and the universe / myself fucking me over just as things get good that has been the last 8 years of my life.
Maybe one day I’ll write properly about my experience of mental health, in industry, in welfare and in my family too.
Suffice it to say, anything that leads you to take a whole year out, as well as makes you question whether what you thought was your dream job is actually right for you - is, ultimately, the definition of burnout.
tl;dr - the last 8 years have been a fucking burnout episode.1
My first job was actually nontechnical - I was 18 years old and sold premium office furniture for a small store in Munich.
I did code in my free time though (PHP/JS mostly, had a litte browsergame back then - those were the days), so when my boss approached me and asked me whether I liked to take over a coding project, I agreed to the idea.
Little did I know at the time: I was supposed to work with a web agency the boss had contracted to build their online shop. Only that he had no plan or anything, he basically told them "build me an online shop like abc(a major competitor of ours at the time)"
He employed another sales lady who was supposed to manage the shop (that didn't exist yet). In the end, I think 80% of her job was to keep me from killing my boss.
As you can imagine, with this huuuuge amout of planning and these exact visions of what was supposed to be, things went south fast and far. So far that I could visit my fellow flightless birds down in the Penguin's republic of Antarctica and still need to go further.
Well... When my boss started suing the web agency, I was... ahem, asked to take over. Dumb as I was, I did - I was a PHP kid and thought that Magento, being written in PHP, would be easy to master. If you know Magento, you know that was maybe the wrongest thing I ever said.
Fast forward 3 very exhausting months, the thing was online. Not all of it worked yet, but it was online and fairly secure.
I did next to everything myself, administrating the CentOS box the shop was running on, its (own) e-mail server, the web server, all the coding required for the shop (can you spell 12 hour day for 8 hour pay?)
3 further months later, my life basically was a wreck, I dragged myself to work, the only thing I looked forward being the motorcycle ride home. The system worked though.
Mind you, I was still, at the time, working with three major customers, doing deskside support and some admin (Win Server 2008R2 at the time) - because, to quote my boss, "We could not afford a full time developer and we don't need one".
I think i stopped coding in my free time, the one hobby I used to love more than anything on the world, somewhere Decemerish 2012. I dropped out of the open source projects I was in, quit working on my browser game and let everything slide.
I didn't even care to renew the domains and servers for it, I just let it die without notice.
The little free time I had, I spent playing video games and getting drunk/high.
December 2013, 1.5 years on the job, I reached my breaking point and just left, called in sick at least a week per month because I just could not see this fucking place anymore.
I looked for another job outside of ALL of what I did before. No more Magento, no more sales, no more PHP. I didn't have to look for long, despite what I thought of my skills.
In February 2014, I told my boss that I quit. It was still seven months until my new job started, but I wanted him to know early so we could migrate and find a replacement.
The search for said replacement started in June 2014. I had considerably less work in the months before, looks like he got the hint.
In August 2014, my replacement arrived and I got him started.
I found a job, which I am still in, and still happy about after almost half a decade, at a local, medium sized ISP as a software dev and IT security guy. Got a proper training with a certificate and everything now.
My replacement lasted two months, he was external and never really did his job - the site, which until I had quit, had a total of 3 days downtime for 3 YEARS (they were the hoster's fault, not mine), was down for an entire month and he could not even tell why.
HIS followup was kicked after taking two weeks to familiarize himself with the project. Well, I think that two weeks is not even barely enough to familiarize yourself with nearly three years of work, but my boss gave him two days.
In 2016, the shop was replaced with another one. Different shop system, different OS, different CI. I don't know why and I can't say I give a damn.
Almost all the people that worked at the company back with me have left for greener pastures, taking their customers (and revenue) with them.
As for my boss' comments, instructions and lines: THAT might not be safe for work. Or kids. Or humans in general. And there wouldn't be much left if you put it through a language filter...
Moral of the story: No, it's not a bad thing to leave a place if you're mistreated there. Don't mistake loyalty with stupidity!
And, to quote one of my favourite Bands: "Nothing matters when the pain is all but gone" (Tragedy + Time by Rise Against).10
I worked two months for free, 15h per day, including weekends, due a contract trap. On top of that, client was emotionally blackmailing me and I was feeling threatened and helpless.
I even lost weight, skipping meals to save time and money. One day, my body collapsed. I ended up in bed for 10 days, feeling stiffness, pain, weakness, and shakiness. I even had to ask for help to brush my teeth.
I abandoned the project, and didn't receive any payment. The client went crazy and made me feel the worst person in the world for being sick and unable to work. But didn't put his menaces in execution.
I still remember the joy I felt when I was able to walk again.
That was the worst burnout I had, and also one of the biggest lessons about limits and evil people.3
After 3 years of being the first in and last to leave, of getting other people's work reassigned to me - P can't complete it on time, G doesn't like the user, A refuses to work on that module, etc... I finally blew last Sept.
In the span of 2 days, my boss brought me into a project 1.5 years in (she doesn't trust P to do the coding) and expected me to be up to speed and coding in a couple of days, told the functional dept that I would cover for one of their guys on vaca for three weeks and assigned me to take over a HUGE project from one of the other functional guys who wasn't getting it done. So basically I'm now doing Ps job AND supporting another department AND taking control of a large project from another department. I'm the idiot working 14 hour days while they're all leaving on time or enjoying their 3 week vaca to India.
I lost it. It's bad enough filling in the gaps in my own department but when I'm now taking on work for other departments, that's where I draw the line. I sent my boss my resignation - just could not take the inequity in the work load.
I'm still working here - my boss ended up hiring a consultant to handle the functional project and told the functional group to find their own vacation coverage. She's also monitoring workloads much closer now. I still habe an ongoing issue with having to complete other peoples work for them but I'm not working OT to do it. So speaking up helps. So does quitting.2
I think honestly, I am going through dev burnout right now.
I am not focused at work. I am slacking off big time. I am finding it hard to do any learning during the weekends. I feel totally not wanting to do any dev related work at all even during my work hours.
It started about a month ago.
Trying to get back in the swing.7
A new producer started to pick up where the previous guy had rage quit. He looked at our sprint plan and announced it.
"According to this schedule, by these estimates, to hit our goal we have to somehow all work 27 hours a day, 7 days a week, for the next month."2
I swear performance is the last thing on the minds of some developers. It’s going to be a long weekend for me.2
Tbh anything related to the JVM is burnout within a few minutes by now. I absolutely despise it and would even rather write in the original C16
Hi devs, newbie here and i want to tell you my story for introduce myself.
I work for a company that develop web-app for managing taxes and sell it to locals cities.
We develop this web-app in Rails framewok and i litterally learned and work with this company from 2 years.
But i'm not happy at all. I was always hated and blamed for my work. My boss always take impossible deadlines and pretend ti finish the work in time, even if i had to overstay at work, even at home, even saturday. I'm not a really smart guy, so i often do dumb errors and I really suffer the nervous burnout and stress. Now i want to change work and i'm search far away from home but still in Italy, like Milan i.e. but i'm still confused. What i should do? I'm the problem?
PS. I want to thanks all of you that with your post get me laugh, inspired me and make me feel part or a great group.
Sorry for my base english6
The development process that my boss called SCRUM. It was anything but. Management thought they could make us do more work than possible.2
Had a burnout at my last job when I worked myself to the bone to cope with stress, a failing relationship and not having much money. Also, made a crap ton of mistakes at work because of it.
Didn't sleep much, started skipping lunch to save what little money I had so I could commute (friends treated me every now and then, still grateful), dropped out of college because couldn't juggle work, studies and got chewed out by my family every day and just worked non-stop.
The end result was that I collapsed when I got home one night and woke up at 3 am with a severe migraine; stayed awake till sunrise then left for work again (got scolded really badly by everyone, felt loved). Fun times.1
Sorry for the excess of blury.
Coworker thinks running a query on a console is a way to proof all use-cases.
Good lord I'm still surprised at how many bugs I can spot just by overlooking his code.
I mean, what is a MVC?!!SHIFT+1!!!?
Routing is just a file importing a 5000 liner controller that is actually not a controller for it handles http attributes and sends the response themselves.
Models are just good guesses of queries or a shit load of them: see picture attached
Well, I might no be a developer yet but it is amazing how they waste my time in school. I could freak out. I am 15 years old and I am quite interested in programming. But there is so much crap happening in my school. I want to programm in computer class and I don't want the teacher to explain word and excel to me or showing me how to visualize an object or a class in MS WORD. I KNOW THIS STUFF, THIS IS BASIC SHIT. I WOULD LITERALLY LEARN MORE ON MY OWN. THE SAD STORY IS THAT I AM THE ONLY ONE IN MY CLASS WHO COMPLAINS. How do I deal with this shit?12
Basically an addendum to all of my other rants on here.
I've been feeling burnt out for much of the past 6/7 months. Way too many projects going on, not enough time, an assehole boss, unsupportive colleagues and useless clients.
I had a mini-breakdown on New Years (maybe 3rd of Jan) where I had a million things to do before going back to work after having worked through a lot of Christmas and not seeing family. So I sat on the floor in my bedroom, shut all the doors, blinds and every light source at 2am and had a panic attack. Clutching my knees, freaking out and so tense it hurt. After about an hour of that I just collapsed and woke up a couple of hours later ready for another day of shit and it's been shitty ever since.
It'd been almost 7 years since my last panic attack and I fucking blew it because of fucking work and a cunt boss pressuring me too much.2
When I first started my current job, 2.5 years ago, I helped write the class that told the machine how to dispense and deposit money.
When the other programmer left, I decided to refactor that section. I wrote a new class that told the machine how to dispense and deposit money.
We are integrating new hardware that has a very different protocol of communication. I am making a library that will convert universal commands into vendor specific function calls. I am writing a new library that tells the machine how to dispense and deposit money.3
i want to get my own social network up and running.
so far ive got -
login 100% securely
register (1000% securely)
view someone’s profile (10^7% securely)
to add -
scrypt (maybe bcrypt, however scrypt looks like the better option)
friend a user
track their every move (ill use facebooks and googles apis for that)
to describe my product -
call me when im a gazillionaire
but seriously, im making a social network and i hope its done by wk105 tbh5
I have been burnt out for over a year and a half now combined with mental health issues.
I was working an underpaying job, doing senior-dev work for a less than junior-dev pay, with an incompetent understaffed team. The work was so mundane and most of the clients were stupid. I hated work, my colleagues, and most of all I hated programming.
I finally quit the job and quit programming as well. I couldn't touch or see a terminal window without panicking. I've been spending my time binge watching series and movies.
Recently though, I've started picking up coding again. I've been blogging and doing some changes to my blog beside other light stuff.
This is the story of my first burnout and it's taken its toll on me. I hope it's the last one but who knows.3
Ok. So let's test greentext on devRant
>needed to scrape some data from school's website
>no biggy I thought
>there were 2 pages in particular that I wanted
>just some timetables, you know the deal
>since I was writing Java I thought hey let's use that Jsoup thing
>turns out it's pretty nice
>getting to work
>it all goes pretty well
>tested - all works fine
>the content changed (as it was supposed to)
>but FUCK, the output was " "
>ok let's investigate the website
>they fucking changed it
>I'm not a webdev guy so don't make me go into detail here
>before the data was in a table, now it's just in <p>'s
>modify the code so it includes the <p>' s
>THE INDENTATION IS FUCKED UP
>they changed it again
>add a couple days of pure struggle
>made it all work
>not even satisfied, the code looks shit
>it's been 2 years and I'm still maintaining this piece of bloody wanker garbage
Im not sure whether greentext fits devRant but what the hell let's try5
Almost burnout story? What about right now...
Customer was really positive about the new site we are creating for them then, out of the blue panic, they complain about features (calculations) which aren't implemented yet (they didn't provide any information for the calculation until 1 week ago.) And they complain that the site does not has any content
THAT IS RIGHT YOU DUMB FUCKS...
I can't magically create content for YOUR site...
My latest burnout was about a month ago, I was programming when I realized that I would rather be doing anything instead of this. It went on for about 2 weeks, and even though it was a relatively short period of time, it felt terrible! Programming is my only passion, and when I lost that, I had barely any emotions left. Luckily I got out of it and continued to program, but man, burnouts are depressing.1
My final exam for Python3. I had previously failed this course, and the exam only had three questions. If I failed to answer one question I would have to take the course over, and my GPA would fall so hard that I wouldn't be able to take the course again. So I was extremely grave, and extremely anxious beyond belief.
I uploaded the two easy answers to the site.
And the last one was so baffling to me I stayed 5 minutes extra to figure it out. I nearly failed so badly.
My GPA is now 3.6 again. (😤 "Triumph" emoji)2
Not sure if this counts, but a few years ago I had decided to start a tech blog and I was so excited about it at first. I was like, "I'm gonna make a post EVERY single day!". And well.. for awhile I did and then I was feeling pressured to keep doing it and started to feel overwhelmed. Then about 2-3 months later, I got burnt out, hit a low point and unfortunately, deleted my entire blog xD I later learned to pace myself when it comes to things like that.3
I worked at a computer store for almost 4 years, don’t really have any seniors since the first year and if I don’t understand something google are my only hope
So during 4th year it got worse, I got college final project also tons of work. That last year really burn me out like crap. No one’s complaining if I can’t troubleshoot something (even the boss or client) but I feel depressed if I failed to help them
I quite 3 months ago and currently on another city with a software company, first 2 months was great, tons of senior and I can finally rely on someone instead of pulling my hair by myself
P.S. The store working atmosphere was nice, but I just don’t wanna be last man when shit happens. Especially if it’s my 1st job
According to my doctor and chiropracter I'm burned out right now.
But I'm not ready to throw in the towel just yet. But my concentration and productivty have been gone for a few weeks now.
I mainly work alone and I'm currently trying to complete 4 projects. But I just can't seem to get it done anymore.
I know that when I'm in my peak I would only need 2 weeks for it. But I have been trying for 2.5 months know and getting nowhere.
Not really where the problem originated but probably with the ever changing specs and my main client that hasn't paid in 5 months. But he accounts for 80% of my profits, but the internal politics of the coperate stuff is making stuff hard.
Not really sure how to go from here yet, need to finish this but can't focus. Can't hire someone since my reseveres are gone and I can't take a holiday and relax because of the money and the voice in my head that says you have to get this done.
But the feeling of wanting to work but not getting anything done, like walking into a mental wall. Makes me wanne run into a real wall head first. Stupid body listen to reason so we can go on a holiday and relax!4
So, first: I'm a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to code and love to think I know everything.
We had a group project at university and me being laid back but unknown to the other people, the "rest" of them was together with me in a group. We got to know each other and actually we were a pretty cool group. I guess "the rest" in a computer science course means you get the cool guys.^^
1/6 of us did ever code in C# and 2/6 even knows what an engine is and how unity works. I was in both sixths, got group leader somehow (if you'd know me from school. Omg. I was that one guy not knowing what went on, saying my two sentences at the presentation and took the B-.:D), so what to do to have a nice 2 weeks with them?
We did a crash course, I taught them some basics and everything.
The point is, i was hella nervous and i really get anxious if something is expected from me.
Long story short, I talked a whole week for 5-7 hours straight without real pauses and eating wayyy less a man should. Dude I was literally dead on my way home on friday evening. I felt like I would fall over any fucken second, i was all shakey, dizzy as hell, weird vision, everything. It felt like I was about to die on the spot.
I got home though, ate like 1/2 kilograms of pasta and felt myself coming back to life.:D
What to learn from this:
Keep the fuck calm, do pauses, drink and eat enough and don't rush all in for a fucken week without real rest..^^
It fucks you up and doesn't do anything good for your productivity.
We got an A btw, so in the end, all went good.(:
I've been trying to query some data from an 18 GB xml DB through BaseX for about 9 hours without success.
Just wondered how LinQ would work with the same xml info. Just got the info I needed in less than 15 minutes.
God bless LinQ.6
Have a BA working and overseeing the team.
Development is an absolute shit show at the company.
Basically constantly focussed on putting out fires and reeling from the 100 WTF’s a minute thanks to the batshit code the yes-men offshore Indian devs had created.
I’m quite outspoken, and don’t just roll over when people are cunts to me.
I ended up in so many meetings about communication and tone, merely because I wasn’t putting up with the BA’s two-faced cuntery where he tried to be my friend but at the same time be an utter fucking jobsworth.
Genuinely, I really got so close to decking him a few times.
Last year in my job, I was temporarily assigned to another team to help out in their project as they were short-staffed. It was a massive project and of course there was a lot of code review to be done. But since I was only temporarily assigned, I still have to do code reviews for my base team, this other team I was assigned to, and for some reason, code review for another team that I barely know what their project is about.
There were times where all I was doing was code reviews that took anywhere between a few minutes to upto 3 days. The amount of mistakes and bugs I kept finding was phenomenal. But I think the one thing that got to me was finding the same bugs/mistakes that I kept pointing out to people to stop doing or to fix e.g DB queries inside a loop just to retrieve data.
To this end I still have to deal with the same issue, but thankfully now it's only to one team.1
Well this isn't the first time I tell how I got my burn out, but since is the week topic...
I work in a molding company as a cnc operator (should already be a programmer).
My section boss and the company boss (not the owner) are people that got their place trough time in the company and don't know how to deal with people.
So I'll try to resume 3 years of history:
I joined the company while finishing the cnc course (1 year left), I talk to much, I'm smart and like to explain stuff and correct people. The company boss only has 4th grade and tryed to make me flunk class.
First I had to do extra hours, till I flunked.
Then I threatened to call the authorities, so I started working from 6 am to 5 pm and class till 11...
4 hours sleep a nighty for months
After that I started having health problems, when I was taken to the hospital after I pass out I as diagnosed with the burn out, been trying to recover since, while the fukers only did worst stuff, treated me like a dog and such.
I never made the complaint because the owners are owsome people, the kind who gives a lot to help the ones in need and make campaigns to help the poor. Now there are 6 complains again the company (last I've heard). And why? Because there was no consequences after what they have done all that shit to me, they started to do the same to others... Others that have no reason like me to hold back and not fuck the company...
The owners were building a second company to expand...
After completing urgent projects that rewrite a lot of "overtime" or even personal projects that rewrite like a few weeks to complete.
Old web dev days pre-BS... All the CSS needed to and the cross browser compat. The divs don't align... Can't get elements to center... Or it does, just not in browser X...1
The senior developer on my team is leaving, and I'm dreading what's coming down the pipe. Basically everything he's responsible for now will land on me when he's gone. I guess now would be the time to reevaluate my salary.4
The time at university I was kind of burned out all the time.
I was far away from being a hard-working student, I needed more than double time to finish, but I constantly had a feeling of being stressed.
My free time never felt like free time because I thought I should learn/do something for the university.
Now at work, I can spend my free time without feeling guilty. Sure, I also have to think about problems at work sometime and I still should learn something to get better, but now I can focus on stuff I'm really interested in.2
Basically I put everything I could into it and the director walked in and started using it, ignoring me who wrote it, talking straight to my boss about loads of changes.
I sat there and quietly and thought whatever I did they would change it again as they don’t know what they want.
I felt crap the next day because of the cold and the previous days experience, so I called in sick. I got a load of abuse about the deadline for the presentation and this time I gave it back and said maybe someone else should have stood up and taken that project then. I wasn’t taking anymore of that crap.1
I like a Product Manager/Owner/CTO who invites coffee when a dev burnout. This is not a story, a hope seems to be.2
Never got one as is, but went so close to it than I could smell the smell of death out if it.
Short story: it's due to my hate of Drupal 8, but I just don't know if I was badly introduced to it through a car wreck of a project or if I simply just hate it and it's insanly hard way to do simple stuff.
In November I went to the point where development was no longer a pleasure, and I was doing lots and lots of small mistakes that almost got my ass fired (made a rant about it). Nothing was enjoyable, I stop going to the gym, ate badly, saw no one excepted my roommate...
The day they switched me to write test scenarios with Behat, the sun started to shine again. Now that I'm back on Drupal knowing all this, I know that I'll have to leave the company once I have my diploma, because there's no point to stay in a place doing something you don't enjoy while you get tons of job proposals on LinkedIn
To all the people who are deep down in it: stay strong, save your ass as soon as possible and find something else, but keep some time to heal.
Maybe as a student my burn outs does not count so much, but i must say, i had some.
Worst part is that each kind of landed just before the ending of the semester. You know, that nightmarish part when everbody throws homeworks, tests, projects and presentations at us, while we barely have time to prepare for the incoming exams. Such a wonderful life indeed.
But this time was waaaay worst. And that only because i wanted to do so much this year, i started always early to do my assignments and so on but in the end i was so stuck on their bullshits that i barely had time to work on my things.. i haven't touch any programming project on my own since march!
And i quite have a lot of them planned. I had over the semester and i have now over the summer. But I AM SICK OF THIS. And i figured out that would be for the best to take a break from this things gor a few weeks over the summer. I like this world, the world of programming but i fear that sometimes i might not be good enough to swallow others bullshit for my living, i hope i will be able to keep myself afloat with my own projects and ideas.
Anyways, i hope you all guys have it better than me and those of you who doesn't.. well, i am here for ya!
Go to bed tired. Wake up tired. Get up tired.
A month ago I was excited doing my work, I even was planning a huge change on one of our projects, detailed everything and passed it over to other folks to get funding. Now I seriously doubt I could pull it off. When I start reading a line of code I forget how it started before I reach the \n.
There was this thing I was asked to implement... A nifty one, I already could see the implementation. As I came to it I got stuck. Like when your body gets "stuck" when you get scared to death - you know what you have to do (i.e. RUN), you know how, but for some reason you just can't... Couldn't come up with anything. The other dev had to take it over and implemented it all in like 4 hours. Just like that. And it took me another 4 hours to understand how and why it worked when I know it should not take me that long as I used to write similar algorithms myself for fucks sake! I know I could have written it myself... but I couldn't..
I'm seriously worried.. Is this the end of my carreer as a dev? Am I broken somehow? I have some vacation days saved but I doubt it would be enough... Don't know if changing workplaces would work as well. I've always wanted to leave 9/5 and start working on my own project full time but now I am not sure I could pull it off either.. wtf is happening.. wtf... wtf..
The year was 2006. During the first half of my career, I use to work in the NOC. This was before I made my transition to software engineer. I worked on the third shift for a bank services company. The company was on a down turn. Just years earlier they just went public, and secured a deal with a huge well known bank. Eventually they entered a really bad contract with the bank and was put into a deal they couldn't deliver on. The partnership collapse and their stock plummeted. The CEO was dismissed, and a new CEO came in who wanted to "clean things up".
Anyway I entered the company about a year after this whole thing went down. The NOC was a good stepping stone for my career. They let me work as many hours as I liked. And I took advantage of it, clocking in 80 hours a week on average. They gave me the nick name "Iron Man".
Things started to turn around for the company when we were able to secure a support contract with a huge bank in the Alabama area. As the NOC we were told to handle the migration and facilitate the onboarding.
The onboarding was a mess with terrible instructions that didn't work. A bunch of software packages that crashed. And the network engineers were tips off, as they tunnel between our network and the banks was too narrow, creating an unstable connection between us and them. Oh, and there were all sorts of database corruption issues.
There was also another bank that was using an old version of our software. The sells team had been trying to get them off our old software for over a year. They refuse to move. This bank was the last one using this version, and our organization wanted to completely cut support.
One of the issue we would have is that they had an overnight batch job that had an ETA to be done by 7 AM. The job would often get stuck because this version of the software didn't know how to fail when it was caught in an undesired state. So the job hung, and since the job didn't have logging, no one could tell if it failed unless the logs stopped moving for an hour. It was a heavily manually process that was annoying to deal with. So we would kill the JVM to "speed" the job up. One day I killed the JVM but the job was still late. They told me that they appreciated the effort, but that my job was only to report the problem and not fix it.
This got me caught up in a major scandal. Basically they wanted the job to always have issues everyday. Since this was critical for them, all we needed to do was keep reporting it, and then eventually this would cause the client to have to upgrade to our new software. It was our sales team trying to play dirty. It immediately made me a menace in the company.
For the next 6 months I was constantly harassed and bullied by management. My work was nitpicked. They asked me to come into work nearly everyday, and there was a point I worked 7 days with no off days. They were trying to run me so dry that I would quit. But I never did.
On my last day at the company, I was on a critical call with a customer, and my supervisor was also on the line. My supervisor made a request that made no sense, and was impossible. I told her it wasn't possible. She then scalded me on the call in front of customers. She said "I'm your supervisor, you're just a NOC technician, you do what I say and don't talk back". It was embarrassing to be reprimanded on a call with customers. I never quite recovered from that. I could fill myself steaming with anger. It was one of the first times in my adult life that I felt I really wanted to be violent towards someone. It was such a negative feeling I quit that day at the end of my shift with no job lined up.
I walked away from the job feeling very uncertain about my future, but VERY relieved. I paid the price, basically unable to find a job until a year and a half later. And even was forced to move back in with my mother. After I left, the company still gave my a severance. Probably because of the supervisor's unprofessional conduct in front of customers, and the company probably needed to save face. The 2008 crash kept me out of work until 2009. It did give me time to work on myself, and I swore to never let a job stress me out to that degree. That job was also my last NOC job and the last job where did shift work. My next few jobs was Application Support and I eventually moved into development full time, which is what I always wanted to do.
Anyway sorry if it's a bit long, but that's my burnout story.
In previous company I was a backend developer. All the frontend ones were on vacation so it was up me to redo the whole frontend because of design chance. So i thought it couldn't be that bad. Little did i know was that designs were just jpg files with no info about margins or font sizes or anything really and everything was supposed to be pixel perfect. Fuck. That. Place.
copy/pasting stuff i know that it works, but don't know why or how. bites me in the ass quite regularly :-/1
Not really a burnout, but after 10 hours of coding and almost no food it gets extremly hard to concentrae.1
I'm too burnt out at this point to write a post about burnout...
Doing the work of four developers previously, with no relief in sight.
Though they did tease the possibility of a new project...
I am a programming teacher in a local university, I started five years ago, but in this semester I feel very tired, the students don't want to learn. I tray many methodologies and practical protects but the interest show by they is very low. the worst thing is that in anonymous evaluation I get good score but my objective is that students become in a great programmers ¿any advice?3
While waiting for internet to load on crappy bandwidth, the wait can burn you out just as easily. Including response timeouts...
Client and ex-Dev/manager wanted automated testing.... manager doesn't see a reason for interfaces... Still wants unit tests, and a SOLID design. Doesn't want to pay for the extra time needed. Good times2
I haven't had an actual burnout ever since I started programming 6 years ago, maybe duo to the fact that I don't accept more than 2 projects at the same time, and I request a minimum deadline of 1 month for any project.
that said, I had to offer the clients something in compensation, basically lower prices and higher quality applications.
so i guess the more you give the more you earn?
I am currently on module has already the passed the sprint and current burnout chart is way far that my CTO will likely burn the chart and I my ass is burning as that module is required by other fellow developers.
Fucking Terraform examples and documentation.
I have been working on it for almost 2 weeks now finally made 80% progress and still 20% burn needed. Kind of deadlock.
I am not sure what to do. Just sit and watch my CTO burns over me. (Definately going to be remark in future engagement with HR)
High priority Bugs from the legacy system were pushing productive work out of the sprint enough that a 1 year project due in 2 months was sitting on 6 months of backlog of just my work. There are days where having 20+ years at the company is not a bonus. Fortunately I finally got through to the boss that he wouldn't make any ground on the project at this pace and he had the PM step in. Last sprint I worked on the project nearly full time.
When this video (The Expert sketch) became my reality....so many times 😥
I have no burnouts. I dont have kids, I'm full of energy, I'm ready to crush it. BUT every goddamn time i come to a company they run out of work/clients/projects. I end up doing nothing or some video tuts, and then change the company. I WANNA WORK! GIVE ME SOME REACT WORK, PLEASE! I WANNA FEEL DEADLINE PRESSURE! I WANNA COMPLAIN THAT I HAVE BURNOUT! I'M TIRED OF VIDEO COURSES AND TO-DO APPS!
I'm paid money to do nothing. As appealing as it sounds, it's not when you're a junior dev trying to get some experience.
Am I doing something wrong???
Btw guys... It isn't a real burn out if you get better by yourself in weeks or months without lots of medication... A burn out is a type of depression with lots of health problems associated, anxiety, intestinal problems, bolimy or anorexy... Constant pain, stress, muscular atrophy...9
That time I got assigned an additional project, expected to take 10% of my time, and ended up spending the whole night coding. 8-to-5 (of the following day). Never again.
I used to blast throught everything accademic in a really short time span. I used to push hard on the gas pedal since my college years, up to my bacheler degree. I was always on schedule with every exam, even graduated top of my class and first amongst my colleagues. But then, I felt the urge to change university, I moved out of my parent's home, in a far away city, and everything simply collapsed. All of the sudden, not only was I struggling with my exams, but, most importantly, I started struggling with telling the truth about it. I constantly felt in debt of my parent's efforts to put me through university, to have given me a chance. This caused a strange feeling in me, it was similar to a weird form of depression, I was unable to...act. To do stuff. To even wanting to do it. I started procrastinating everything. I lived at my parent's expenses in this far away town but all I could do was playing videogames. I somehow managed to get to the point that I only had three exams left plus my thesis, but I did this by avoiding all the real hard exams, somehow cheating myself. I was already two years behind schedule at this point, and willing to quit. I was desperate, I cried a lot, thought about running away fron everything as I fear the disappointment I would have caused by simply telling the whole story.
Thankfully I met my girlfriend who helped me realize all I needed to do was move back to my former university and take it step by step from there onwards. I almost didn't make it...again. But I was able to pull throught, I worked during the day, wrote my master thesis early in the morning and late in the evenings. I gave it all. And I made it.
I graduated last year and got a job in the industry. I don't feel as useless anymore. I still fear and dread what the burnout made me feel. How it almost destroyed all confidence I had in myself.
Tldr; I burned out right after getting my bachelor degree. And I stayed like that for years, up to the point that I ended up being years behind schedule. I was able to recover thanks to my gf but still fear and dread those feelings I had when I burned out.
Actually a follow up to something I could have posted last week.
My master's project for school was going so awfully I started having epilepsy seizures, it was almost two years ago and it seems to have cleared out,i'm still medicated and having regular appointment with a neurologist.
So yeah, fun times.1
Getting burn out right now. Filling in for departments with overpaid inadequate talent and poor management, it's driving me up the wall.
So Im still a college student but my worst burnout happened a week before finals this year as a sophomore at DigiPen
On the same week, I had to conduct and submit 10 playtests for my competitive Unity game by Friday, submit said game polished and completed on Sunday, finish and submit my team game project that I've been working on the whole year with 10 other people also on Sunday (which we would discover so many TCR submission issues we ended up finally resubmitting on Thursday the following week).
On top of this I had to write a memory manager for my operating systems class due Thursday, a water retainment assignment involving recursive queues for my Data Structures class due Saturday, and to top it all off that class also had a final Thursday when that memory manager was due :'). I don't know how I managed to get OK sleep.
All stuff was due that week so all game teams could have next week before finals to work on submitting, so some CS teachers also move their finals to before that to theoretically distribute the load (which sucks for people in my major because we're almost a double major for CS and Game Design) However my team wanted to submit early to snatch some bonus points but we ended up having to resubmit late anyways :(. Due to the week of hell we were already burned out when trying fix our resubmission.
I love the school and the people in it but there's a reason why our most heard phrase is "I want to die" and no its not just a millenial thing I swear.
Ahhhh! some days I get that burnt out feeling when working on some projects and it just leads me to push the project off to a later date. This only happens with personal projects I have no trouble with school projects. I think I should create due dates for projects to keep myself on track or even create a routine that has specific time just for those projects.