AboutTruly yours, Johnny Sins.
SkillsSwimming up the waterfall your mother makes when she sees me.
Joined devRant on 11/16/2019
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Tired of the fucking edge lords in this field. God forbid you talk about anything you like around these pseudo-intellectual assholes. Oh, you use a certain tool at work? Yuck, change that. They don't even bother asking why they were used. I just think it's funny that I rarely get this shitty attitude from more successful and experienced developers. They've seen some shit and they know that you can't always use the latest crap for everything. They've worked in bigger projects and know the cost of rewriting a big ass codebase into another language every time something new comes up.
Also, imagine being so out of touch from reality that you believe anyone can just get any job with any stack they like? Imagine living in the world where supply and demand isn't a thing and having countries where people can starve if they don't get a job? What a fucking fantasy land. It's glorious. Ever had the fucking maturity to realize that or do you think, in all your smart ass glory, that you can flip a switch and the whole world will start working the way you want it to?
I usually get this garbage from randoms who can't even get a job or don't even know how to write code themselves. Don't get them started on what a "real job" is because they look down on every sector of the field that isn't cool enough for them. Yes, you're too damn good for everything. You are superior to everyone else. Your intellect thwarts every aspect of reality. If one day you decide that gravity isn't cool, it will cease to exist because life is all about you and your cool new findings.
Take that affirmation and get the fuck away from me. I'm starting to sound like an edge lord myself but one thing that stays consistent over the years is how much I fucking hate people. Yeah, yeah, not all of them are like that but expose yourself to even just a few more people and you're about to get pissed. Yes, I learned to deal with them when I have to but I don't need more unnecessary stress in my life.18
I love how they were so excited to switch from Python to Go and how it's gonna be the start of making the codebase better then they brought their old habits to the new codebase. Same spaghetti design, same misspellings, same useless comments, etc. If you can Google Translate a source code, this is what it would look like and it always looks worse than the original.
This is the same codebase I had to work with a year ago and every time I see this shit, my brain crumbles like a brownie. Literally the same shit, different language. They have several endpoints in one file with v1, v2, etc. Not a single fucking comment what the differences between them are. I had to test each one to figure out what I actually need and it's never the latest one.
Oh, and the comments on these functions, "Execute ..." Nice. So much information. All I really need to know is that this code executes. Thank you. I couldn't have done it without you.11
So there's this College classmate who's been following me to every company I work for. He wasn't a very good student and I was an honor student with scholarship (total dumbass now). He spent all his years trying to prove that he's better than the good students back in College. He would frequently post about Bill Gates or some other drop-out dudes (he wasn't a drop-out). I remember that one quote about how the good students in Bill's school started working for him. Boy, does he love that one.
Now I don't care if people choose to go to College or not. At the time, me being a scholar was a necessity because my parents couldn't pay for College but I believe that people can excel at what they do regardless of whether they've been good students or not, went to College or not, whatever. This guy is on another level though. It's like his life is so empty that he made it his mission to target every good student from his College and try to one-up them, prove that he's better than all of them.
I had no idea at first until I tutored some of his friends. One of them told me that he was actually trying to get into IBM because he knows I wanted to join that company. I never wanted to join any specific company and bitch, I fucking hated IBM and I'm not joining just to commit arson. His "friends" would often tell me how cocky he has gotten and that he would jump from one company to another within a few months just to get another salary increase and then shove it to their faces or wonder if he's earning more than me. Some of his friends ended up working in retail. He would insult them and tell them they're not going anywhere.
Before that, he would ask me where I work and all that. I thought he was just being friendly or some shit. He joined my first company after I left. A few months ago, he messaged me on LinkedIn and I ignored him. And then a few days ago, he messaged me where? In my company's messenger. He joined my current company. Now I can't block him but I still ignored him. I asked my manager about him, as well as other bosses in different projects that I've been friends with. They don't know him and his stack doesn't match any of what's in my project so that's a relief.
It bothered me the first time but given his history, he'll be gone after a few months and I don't plan to stay here anyway. Catch me when I move to a different country because just like I said in my previous rants, people like this make it hard for me to have an online presence. They stalk, stalk, and stalk. But how sad is it that your life's goal, the whole basis of your career is following people everywhere and trying to prove that you can do what they do.
A little bit of stalking back, he has no girlfriend and still lives with his parents. I'm not saying that's a measure of achievement but this guy has been desperate to have a girlfriend for a long time but only prostitutes would sleep with him. Oh, he's also one of those developers who want a developer girlfriend and pose as power couples. He tried hitting on my College best friend who was also a good student and a developer. He also managed to join her company back then and worked with her as a team. According to my friend, people in that company hated him and he just went AWOL when he thought he was gonna get a job in a different country. When he failed, he went back to that company in board shorts asking for a backpay. Hahahaha.
Bitch boy popped up on my messenger as soon as I broke up with my ex too a few years ago. Shot him down on the first hello with a "Are you asking me out? 'Cause I'm not looking for another one." He poured his heart out about his feelings and how he thought I was gay or a man-hater (duh, what else could I be if I was single?) because I didn't date anyone during College but now that he knows I'm not, maybe we can give it a shot. Okay.
It bothered me the first time I received that message but now I'm just laughing. You went so far but somehow, you still managed to be a loser. I'll take it as a compliment that going where I go is an accomplishment to you. Definitely a good timing for an ego boost since I'm feeling really down these days. If I jump off a cliff, would you follow me in hell too?11
I'm in a rut. I know what I have to do. I've done it before. It's not that hard but I just don't want to do it. The only familiar thing that I think is bringing up this feeling is how things don't make sense and I feel like I'll be wasting my time and effort into something that probably wouldn't work in the first place.
I got issues that have no description again. The argument is that the issues for the new components are more descriptive because they're new while these issues are to migrate some old service to a new one. I was instructed to work with this guy who knows more about the flow. He told me all the things I needed to do. I asked for clarifications, etc. Fine, now I have some documented requirements and I started working on it.
Three days later, another guy is telling me that no, there are more steps I needed to do. He asked me to review the old codebase, that shitty spaghetti crap I've been ranting about for a year. Additional note, "follow the code to see how it's done but don't follow it all". So what the fuck? How? How do I know which ones to follow and which ones to ignore? This would have been clear if I had some actual requirements. I wouldn't even have to "follow this code but don't follow it" if I just had a list of what this service is supposed to do. Man, I'd rather build this from scratch than have to follow something but not follow it. I get what they're trying to say but I'm not a mind-reader. Here we go again with this shit. My brain is overheating and rotting away. I feel so stupid even when I know I shouldn't.
Also, even if by some miracle, I finish this part, I raised some issues that I know wouldn't be resolved by this. I was vocal about it but at the same time, I have nothing else to work on and they said they just want to get the thing ready which is good but I don't want to re-write it in case the solution is more elaborate than expected.
I want to push myself harder but I don't feel productive at all. I think about work when my shift is over and when my shift starts, it takes a lot of effort to do one small thing. If only my overthinking would slow down too but nope, I hate having a task on my plate for too long. Even when it's not my fault, it looks like a big pile of smelly garbage in the middle of my bed. I hate seeing it there.6
Ordered some thongs and it came in a big box. Almost doubted that it was my package until I saw my name on it. I opened it up and it's wrapped in several layers of cardboard, plastic, some wax paper thing (I don't know what the hell it's called), and a zip lock. What else is inside? I paper shopping bag folded neatly. Why?
I was annoyed then I remembered all the times I probably wrote inefficient code. Then it reminded me of how applications are designed these days. Some layers make sense while others don't. All the unnecessary garbage they pile on top of one another to make a simple app work. It's so dumb to relate these two unrelated things but I can't help it. I think about one thing and my thoughts jump to another.12
Funny how my paranoia creeps into my dreams. I don't really care much about most of my browsing history. It's been filthy for years. I don't care if someone saw porn, true crime, or other materials but what I don't want them to see are my search keywords.
In my dream, I killed someone for whatever reason, chopped them up in pieces, and tried to destroy them with acid. The soul of the guy I killed popped up to compliment me for my technique (which isn't so original, to be honest but I guess he has low standards, probably why I killed him). When I'm left with skulls and other leftovers, I put them in separate garbage bags and packed them.
I didn't know where to dump the parts and I know that simply putting them in garbage cans would make it easier for the police to catch me. So I thought about searching for the "nearest dumpsite" but worried about how if I became a suspect, the first thing they'd look at is my search history and those search keywords would be good evidence. While thinking about this, I somehow warped into a grocery store and then I woke up in bed.
I've been trying to sleep more because my focus has gotten worse over the months. Gyms are closed and will probably stay that way for a long time. Every time I sleep early though, I either get nightmares or sleep paralysis.8
Which online trainings or certifications are you willing to pay money for? I'm just trying to get rid of the budget they gave me for training because I can't convert it to cash.20
It's funny how I now have:
- 45 days of paid vacation which means I can be gone for two months (maybe not in one go)
- My employer pays for the travel expenses
- I'm working remotely
- There's internet almost anywhere
- Our client has a shitload of holidays
- I don't have a micro-managing manager or guilt-tripping colleagues
And yet here I am, unable to file a leave without feeling guilty about it because I just took a vacation last December and despite some work-related annoyances, my colleagues are pretty kind compared to the poltergeists I used to work with. It's not like I can go anywhere these days anyway.
But at least that's a reminder that work life is improving together with the benefits package. That's another item on the checklist, move somewhere where going on frequent vacations is the norm.20
I hate it when developers copy/paste code from somewhere and when I ask them about it during code reviews, they say they don't know what it's for. I have nothing against looking for solutions in various places but at least try to understand how they work before you ask me to merge that witchcraft to master. And they wonder why they struggle writing tests for it. No shit, how are you supposed to test something so magical, you don't even know how it works? Actually, maybe it you weren't so lazy and you tested it, you might get some insight on how it works and what it's for.
It's not about just making things work and finding no errors. Stop blindingly copying shit from god knows where and attempting to put it in production. When bugs come out, it will haunt you anyway so might as well bury the dead properly and sacrifice your soul to Satan now (not like he would take it).5
The many layers of customer service these days.
Read the FAQ. FAQ not helpful? Here's a chatbot. Chatbot didn't answer your concerns? Talk to an agent. Connects you to an agent. Agent is just a more sophisticated chatbot.
You can literally visualize how her code was written. When she asked for my order ID, I gave her a parcel tracking number to which she immediately responded, "Thank you for giving me your tracking ID. Please give me 1 - 3 minutes." Then I sent her another message, this time the correct order ID. She says the same thing but with "order ID". ARE YOU SCANNING YOUR DATABASE, IS THAT IT, "RACHEL"?
I'm not complaining. I mean "she" answered my questions. I just thought, if you can do this, why not put this feature in the actual chatbot? Why pretend that you are connected to an agent? Oh wait, technically they didn't say it's gonna be a human agent. Maybe this site evolved from the endless streams of dumb users and this was their solution.
I have to say, it is pretty efficient. The conversation was fast and there isn't as much noise as when you actually talk to a person. I don't always talk to people but when I do, I don't.5
Oh boy, prepare for the shenanigans of the professors I had in College and some instructors I had in my previous jobs.
Professor in networking subject picks a different student each day to lead the prayer before the start of his class. "Angel of jod, my garden deer.."
Professor in electronics is kind of a pervert and there's always that one too-old-for-College student with huge tits beside him even though she has no subject with him.
Professor in programming language X (I forgot) talks trash about her students. One of my classmates overheard her call me cocky for having a thesis that is a little more ambitious than another point-of-sale system (something that so many students have been doing that time).
Menopausal professor in whatever programming -related subject I forgot about would blow up and dumb down her students for no reason. One time was precious. She asked a dumbass question on what "scope and limitation" means. I answered her. She was annoyed and said it was wrong then explained it in the exact words I did. The class went silent and she became a joke.
Delusional instructor from the hellhole company talked about their dev team as if they're so elite and that I should be thankful to be given a chance to become a dev since my first experience was in support back then. A few months in, I was the one teaching her super elite team how to do shit because their "development" is nothing but drag-and-drop, bind this and that, and some small Python scripts.
Before that and when I just started with them, she made me the instructor for the new batch of trainees. Mind you, the system is new to me so I thought, "Okay, I guess she wants to assess or challenge me this way." She presented herself as my mentor but when I have questions about the requirements, she'd get annoyed. One time, I sent her my presentation and you can hear her keyboard clacking hard and I receive a furious message about how I did things wrong. I was like, "Huh?" A few minutes later, she says "My bad, it was correct."
I swear, the amount of people I had to work with that has this stupid nonsense tantrums decreased my tolerance for such human emotional garbage that shouldn't be present at school, in the workplace, or any non-personal setting especially with instructors. These days, one minor attitude problem and I'm already writing a draft to the HR, browsing new jobs, and keeping my distance.
So yeah, my definition of terrible is misplaced high emotional garbage. Someone who doesn't know much could be good enough, bad, or incompetent but certainly not my definition of terrible.6
I've been trying to understand this guy. Maybe he's depressed or something. I just find it hard to believe that someone can remain in the industry for so long and survive from copy pasting code and not figuring things out. I've seen him fix bugs before, debug issues, etc. But now it's clear to me that his position is more functional than technical. He knows the ins and outs of the system but throw him into something foreign or more technical, he just gives up.
This is another backend guy this time. He's been here for so long and there's been some changes since almost a year ago. He couldn't keep up. Fine, you're not expected to master any of these new things but I can give him all the basic examples in the world and he still wouldn't get it. What pisses me off are the excuses, there are so many.
"I'm new to this." So am I. We're both new to this. There's no expectation that we'll learn at the same pace but come on, it's been almost a year now. You can't keep using the same excuse.
"I don't understand." I didn't either. You know what I did? Figured things out, researched, tested, etc. You can't sit in front of the computer staring at the screen and then a bulb will just suddenly light up and you instantly "get" it. This is what I don't get even from people who want to become developers. I remember having a classmate (graduated IT but ended up working in a different field) who asked me to teach him programming because he can't learn by himself, someone has to teach him. Well, if that's the case then clearly this isn't the field for you. What are you gonna do? Have an assistant/tutor beside yo all the time? Wants the dev money but doesn't want the dev work. Nice.
"I've never done this before." We've all been virgins in many areas of life and we'll always be like that in many new areas but every time you're in that situation, you try. Just fucking try. Grab that motherfucker by the cock and stroke it violently until you're blessed by the jizz gods of knowledge. Feel that brilliant cum seep into your pores and.. sorry, got carried away.
"But the example you gave me does this, mine has to do this." It's the same fucking thing, man. You just have to make adjustments based on your application. If I had to answer your question, I'd be spoonfeeding you and doing your work myself. This is exactly why I obliged taking the more complex tasks from you because you'll end up bugging me anyway and then three months later, it still wouldn't work and I had to do it. And yet here you are with your simple tasks and you can't figure things out no matter how many examples you're given because you don't even try.
Whatever. He's counting the days anyway. I hope he gets out of whatever fog he's in or find a better career somewhere else.5
Over a year into web development and I hate it. I absolutely despise it. There's so much shit involved just to get shit running. Tools that are supposed to make your life easier but I see it as gluing shit together. Too bad it's where most of the demand and money is. The annoying part of this is even if the previous AI company I worked for or the one who backed out when the pandemic started offered me a job today, I probably wouldn't take it unless the offer is absolutely amazing.
I never look back. Nothing personal against Python and it was never personal against Java. I'm just too stubborn. The next time I move on to a new language, it would be from Go to Rust. That's the only path. Maybe attempt to escape web development the same way I escaped everything else before it.
Good luck, relentless brain. I hope you find whatever shit you're looking for.10
I keep falling asleep after drinking coffee, it doesn't matter how much. I guess I'll stop doing that for a while. Also, where did the days go? I feel like I did something just yesterday only to come back to it and it says "last updated 5 days ago".7
Old man rants about anime.
I fucking hate anime and everything else surrounding it. I make exceptions but I hate seeing that shit everywhere. I acknowledge the fact that some of them are good. There's just so many of them in every area of life that if someone raves about a good game or comic and it's fucking anime art style of whatever the fuck you call it, I dismiss it.
What I hate the most is the chibification of characters in video games. Companies would re-create classic games and make them look worse through this. I get the point of style changing over time and wanting to put a modern twist to it but this style is so overused. Literally most of the "art" you see online is fucking anime.
I know I'm gonna piss off some hardcore fans but at least now you know to stay the fuck away from me with that shit.19
I used to think I was average, dumb even. I learn, investigate, fix, create things, and I get paid. Everywhere I go, I meet developers who know more than I do. They know all the new tools and I just couldn't care unless I have to use them. But given a few months, the fantasy dies. I don't expect them to be perfect but it often turns out, they can't even do the simplest things or figure things out.
The more I work with other people, the more I learn that doing these basic things are the norm but only in my fantasy. I'm not gonna get into a philosophical argument on what "basic" means, let's assume "read and write". In my head, it only makes sense that if you're paid to do something, you can do it or at least learn how to do it. There's no shame in asking for help but you should learn over time and not be a burden to your colleagues. It's okay to fuck up but it shouldn't be a regular thing.
I wondered if it's just in my country but I had to remind myself that most of the people I worked with aren't even here then I thought, "Well, maybe it's just these types of companies." Then I was hired by some company in Silicon Valley, I thought "Wow, I guess I'm pretty good at deception." A few months in, same shit. Yeah, yeah, stereotypes, I know. I don't care about your damn "just because a company is blah blah blah". I don't fucking care, man. I lived long enough. Just listen or read. Whatever thought you have right now, whatever emotion you have right now, let it go. I know your fingers are itching to type those words and point out the flaws in my "logic" and nitpick every side I chose not to write about. Listen, I'm not trying to argue with you.
Anyway, I notice this on devRant too. I can't count how many times someone posted something and another guy writes an essay in the comments section making all kinds of assumptions. All that energy would have been saved if they did something very basic - read. It's almost always the case of not reading or having very poor reading comprehension. The most notorious ones give such strong emotional reactions even on things that are so absurd, it has to be a joke and then they go around "correcting" people's "statements" like the smart people they think they are and they just look like clowns arguing with themselves.
The point is.. nil. I'm just rambling.7
People have been telling you what needs to be done so many times. You saw that those tickets were created just now and you keep asking me if we have them, do we have them now, and giving updates like you're so fast that backend has to catch up with you. Someone gives you a mock-up, you setup the buttons, and think you're all set. Maybe if you had any skill to debug your own shit, you wouldn't be eating up so much of our time with your inability to send proper requests, read error messages and documentation.
Sir, you are a joke that took nine months to develop, stopped right fucking there, and you're not even funny.
Lazy. Lazy. LAZY!
I hate the combination of lazy and stupid. You don't have to be especially bright but at least don't combine stupidity with laziness, otherwise you're just useless and a burden to anyone you work with. I don't know what frontend thinks their scope of work is but I'm tired of these people acting like users saying shit like, "Oh no, backend threw an error. Oh no, there is an error."
Just because backend threw an error doesn't mean backend has to change shit on their side. Also, I don't have to debug this shit before you even check the request you're sending. I can't write code to read your mind or guess what you're trying to do. If it's not in the request, it's not in the fucking request. If the request is wrong, the request is fucking wrong. Every time I check these errors, I don't find anything wrong with the backend code. It's always when I test through the user interface that I find out you're sending the wrong request. It's either something is there that shouldn't be there or vice versa.
But that's just too much work for you, isn't it? The next time you report anything, I'll just look to confirm it's not a backend problem and not respond to you or give you my findings. I'm tired of telling you to check the request 'cause even when you look at it, you can't seem to use basic logic on how anything in it can be wrong. It's right fucking there, man.
"I click button, button is pressed, uuuhhh, frontend OK. Backend not." *drools and scratches balls*15
There are eight hours in our work day, over 30 repositories in our GitLab, and over 30 JIRA issues in the current sprint. Somehow, the stars aligned and we submitted a merge request to master and assigned them to each other as reviewers for the same repository at almost exactly the same time.
Who will be the bigger person? Who shall take the sacrifice? In the land of the petty and the stubborn, only one would rebase. Join our heroes as they pretend they got disconnected, took a break, or didn't see the MR. Who will say "my ticket is more urgent than yours"? Who will click "close" and say "oopsie"?
Who will win?
I'm so pissed off by the people I'm working with right now asking me for shit that they should be asking the business analysts. I'm working on other things, you know, like writing actual code? I can only answer the technical side in the backend. Stop asking me what you should return to the user and how your goddamn user interface should work. I gave you the APIs. Whatever the fuck they require you to display is not my call.
"What are we gonna do?" No, sir. What are YOU gonna do? You know what I'll do? I'll ask the fucking guy who requested this component because while I believe in fucking team work, I can't read that guy's mind for you. You have so many resources - complete UI mock-ups, API documents, sample payload, JIRA issue, etc. Why the hell are you asking me?
It's been like this for the whole week that I can barely remember anything anymore and it affects my own output. Even the tester counts everything as bugs because it doesn't work the way he imagined it to work. Have you considered asking whoever the fuck gave the requirements how it should work?
I get confused, try to fix it, and then realize that it wasn't a bug. I can't remember all these things. All these things that happened in the past few months. And most of all, with the every changing requirements that aren't coming from me, I JUST DON'T KNOW ANYMORE, OKAY? STOP FUCKING BOTHERING ME. I have done everything I can. I asked for clarifications via call, messaging app, email, and I even update my own ticket with all the details but none of those efforts matter because someone flicks a switch on their brain and they change their minds.
We've been discussing this problem in the retrospective so many times. The least you can do is not add to the problem and start messing with your co-workers' head. Let me fucking code in peace. Now I have a feeling I'm gonna be highlighted on this fuck-up. I'm exhausted.
Leave me alone. Leave me the fuck alone, please. Please just fucking stop talking to me.5
Today is shit from the very beginning. I can feel that it will not go right for the rest of the day.3
Our frontend developer plays mix and match with JSON keys without reading the structure or thinking if the properties he's matching even makes sense. We've given him the API documentation complete with all the properties and data types. We provide him with sample payload too but he only refers to that and never reads the documentation which is stupid because that changes based on the specific record.
He would find a key for zip code and match it to the first zip code he finds even if the body contains addresses for a person, company, etc. "Oh, I didn't see a zip code in person so I decided to get it from the company instead." Dude, do you not see the difference between those addresses? He doesn't directly blame so I have some patience for that but his reasoning makes no sense because we can't give him a sample payload for all of his scenarios, he just has to read but apparently, it's my job to read the same documents that I wrote. He has two documentations to refer to, not to mention the actual labels in the UI - person address, company address, etc. Does it make sense to put a company's zip code in the person's address now? So if you have to persons and one of them has a suffix, the other one doesn't, do you just mix and match those too?
Then he would get errors, of course and it's up to me to check why the backend service is saying "fuck no" to his payload only to find out that he's putting the wrong details. One time, he wasn't passing the object at all and wonder why backend isn't receiving it. Fucking nuts.3
Specialty? Ha! With an attention span like mine, I'm surprised I manage to keep a job. Even my hobbies are far from each other.2
Your daddy Johnny is pissed off again.
My therapist advised me to do some things for myself after I told her that I'm finding the simplest tasks overwhelming again. This is after a month of studying, coding, and working on some personal projects on my free time. I thought "Fine, I'll buy new clothes since I have very few of them and also get a massage."
But guess what these activities involved? People. I went to the mall and some attention-seekers yell at a high-pitched tone when their dumbass friend taps them on the shoulder. Then goes the screaming match "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH" because they saw their friends. OMG. FRIENDSHIP! So exciting! Let's scream in public for absolutely no fucking reason because it feels so damn good when everyone turns around to look at our ugly asses.
I went to a shop and two women are talking in the most annoying fucking made-up accent I've ever heard. If you want to know, social distancing is no more than a suggestion at this point. I go to the fitting room and same women are talking loudly in that curly, rich-wannabe, bitch accent. "Emergeeeeeeerd, you lost so much weiiiight!" Then another ugly fuck man joins them and they start screaming flirtatiously, "Emergeeeeeeeerd, why are you heyyre?! Geit outttttuh! Ugh." In my head, "My pussesyyyy is so wet rightt now and my labia flaps are as green as my haeeirrrr!"
I tried to finish the day off by having some tiramisu pancake in this Japanese shop, to make up with the stress of having to co-exist with these people. Two girls sat at the table near me and started talking loudly again but some dumbass gossip. There is no way not to hear the shit they're talking about. I thought about wearing a headset but then I'd hear myself chew. Classic gossip about some other girl they know being a slut and some guy they know who is cheating on his girlfriend plus the casual sexism, "He doesn't know 'cause he's a guy." Non-stop "he's just a guy" bullshit.
I didn't finish my meal, went home, and decided that I should stick to online shopping and food deliveries. I know it's considered healthier to get out every now and then but not in this fucking country. Then I went to go get that massage in my favorite massage place. Guess fucking what? Two couples went in and started chatting and laughing loudly. Keep in mind, there are signs everywhere "Please observe silence" and it's a fucking massage place where people go to relax in peace with just the relaxing music.
Again, another set of stupid goddam gossip that just can't wait for a fucking hour. Even my therapist got pissed up and started shushing them. She did that three times and they started whispering but you can still hear it. Fucking hell, you bitches can't keep your mouth shut for a fucking minute. You have nothing of importance to say and you just ruin everyone's day. You are inconsiderate and you're all a bunch of uncivilized fuckwits.
How fucking ironic that these activities that are supposed to relax me just reminded me of the reason I was burning myself out in the first place and why I hate, hate, absolutely hate going out or doing anything that involves people.
Fuck you all. I'll get a massage at home. I'll fucking do everything at home. I can't stand you annoying fucks.24
I fucking hate people who keep calling but never leave a message, especially when you've already picked up their calls twice and they never say shit. What are you, a stalker or a goddamn recruiter? How desperate are you to hear someone's voice while you breathe and fap your cocktail hotdog limp excuse of a dick? No, I am not saying hello. You called, you needed something. Introduce yourself and let your needs be known so I can tell you to go fuck yourself and you can return to your hentai haven, otherwise you're blocked.
Fucking creepy cowards. I bet you're the same breed of awkward cunts who turn away after being stared down because they can't take in-person confrontation. The amount of missed calls you leave should be multiplied with the amount of sperm count you lose so you never breed again. Fuck you. I am so tired of shit like this.10
People telling me to talk more even when I have nothing valuable to say. On my first job, two people in our batch didn't get promoted. Guess what we have in common? We're both quiet. He's a good developer though, better than most of the people who got promoted. I'm not so sure about me. My senior back then told me that there's no place for quiet workers there. He didn't say it to be rude to me, more like "yeah, management is fucked up here".
This happened way too many times, in all the companies I worked with. I even received feedback from clueless motherfuckers that I should improve my "communication skills". It was clear to me that those idiots use words that they don't really understand. To them, good communication skill means talking non-stop even when you don't make any fucking sense and use words you don't really understand, but there were a few people who supported me. I speak clearly especially at work. I can articulate my thoughts better than these obnoxious motherfuckers.
But people don't care about that, especially in this country. I managed to find ways to make my efforts more visible. I don't mind attracting only the few who sees honesty instead of incompetence when I say I have nothing to say about a certain subject. They know I speak up when something's up.4
Damn, this month is brutal. Every start of the week is stressful. There are so many things going on - roadblocks, bugs, and various fuckeries from the fucktory. As usual, I want this week to be over already and I'm not even halfway through Monday yet.5
I've been watching a few horror games made with RPG Maker. People say games made using it are shit which of course, makes me want to try it even more. It's on sale right now and I could use something to go along with my plan to practice pixel art again. I read a lot of reviews that say it doesn't require programming. It would be a nice new relaxing hobby if that's the case but I searched for what language can be used for it anyway, just in case. Older versions say Ruby and I was like, "Perfect, I remember Ruby. It was pretty neat. I don't mind working with it." I checked the newer versions and found out that they moved from Ruby to JS a long time ago.
After several hours of "Fuck no, I'm not touching that on my free time", I decided to grow up and get it anyway. Who knows? Maybe the games I make are so shitty that I wouldn't have to script at all. It would just be a hobby and maybe a more comfortable way of telling a story.
Well, I hope I enjoy doing this. The monotony of pandemic living is driving me insane. I skipped a whole Saturday sleeping.15
A bit jealous of my partner's job. I wish I can dig up unexploded bombs, go somewhere, and detonate them too but alas, I have no military experience or patience studying this shit. All I can do is push code to my repository, hope nothing explodes, make dumb jokes about some of the munitions looking like anal plugs, and hope I don't get fat sitting in front of the computer.
The closest I can get to a type of work that involves clearing out harmful garbage, physical activity away from the computer, and something I actually enjoy is scuba diving. It would be great if I can stop randomly overthinking and panicking underwater.
This field bores me to death sometimes even without the comparison.7