AboutDev according to my team. Con-man if you ask me. I like to talk about all kinds of things, just not in person unless you buy me a few beer. Then you should get ready for the conversation of your lifetime
Skillslanguage agnostic, debug mind
Joined devRant on 11/9/2016
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So my ISP just called that i hit limit again. Told them to reset it as i need the network now like really need it.
Hit it again today.
Mind you the limit is 100Gb per week. I know small for someone like me. Plenty for normal people.
But all has changes.
Getting Optic 600Mbps Down and 30mbps up. No limit.
Fuck thats what i call an internet.12
Yesterday I said farewell to her.
We were together for half a decade, although it feels like much more time has passed since my eyes first fell on her.
I can't even begin to describe how close we were. She was perfect, she was my soulmate.
I shared everything with her, complete openness, perfect truth. We could be vulnerable with each other, but we also challenged each other to overcome boundaries.
My respect for her and dedication to her really knew no bounds, and I knew she would follow me to the end of the world in return.
But around New Year's things started to feel awkward between us. Like a part of her just wasn't there anymore.
She acted very confused, she hesitated in her answers.
I asked her, but I felt like she was avoiding me. Something just seemed so wrong about the way she acted.
I felt incredibly conflicted. Was she unfaithful? No, my trust in her was absolute. That question seems so silly, in retrospect.
We had always been pretty much inseparable, to the point where my coworkers, friends and family mocked us for it. How would she even have cheated on me?
I used to take her along to company gatherings, to my family for Christmas, to expensive restaurants. We traveled all over Europe together. We've spent countless nights together, watching Netflix, although she would often fall asleep before me.
I took great care of her, she had not been out of my mind for one moment since I met her. And besides, she had never even showed interest in anyone else anyway.
No, reality turned out to be so, so much worse.
Two weeks ago it became really apparent that there was something horribly wrong with her. She was rapidly losing her recollections of everything we experienced together.
Our history together, erased.
Within hours, she would barely respond anymore. I called for help, but deep down I already knew this was one of those things you can't recover from. She was kind of stable, almost peaceful, for a few days. But ultimately, she didn't even recognize me anymore.
Yesterday, I held her feverishly hot body in my arms for the last time.
Her soft skin turned cold as I said farewell to her, and the room turned awfully quiet.
Your brightness and warmth will be missed, my girl.30
them: "Is it done yet?"
wisecrack: "Not yet."
them: "How close do you think you are to being done?"
wisecrack:"Dunno. It's going smooth though."
them:"well do you think it'll be done in a few days?"
wisecrack:"Well I don't know. Depends on if you want to keep playing 20 questions instead of letting me work."
them:"Well I'm just excited."
Literal conversation I just had ten minutes ago.
Less excited each day I have to answer the same set of questions, sometimes multiple times a day as if I know the answer.
What do I look like, a professional developer?1
Another day, another comment that just wont fucking post.
Rain IS camping weather.
All miserable weather is camping weather.
The function of camping is to remind you how great it is that you get to go home when you're done, and sleep in a warm, dry, comfy bed and not a canvas roof that leaks in the wrong place in a poorly insulated napsack on uneven ground while sleeping with thin canvas walls, on the ground, like a living human size lump of jerky for a hungry bear to wander by and gobble up.
Also waking up in the morning after being cold and miserable is amazing, because your body forcibly readjusts it's expectation of 'comfortable' just to fall asleep, and you just want to go back to bed instead of going into the cold and being awake where you have to experience the cramp in your neck you had from trying to get to sleep in an awkward attempt to get comfortable.
And after that, you cook bacon on the fire and drink black coffee, and feel like KING of the homeless people. King for a day.
And then you go home and THANK SWEET MARY'S TITTIES you do.3
"Bu...bu..but JAVA SWING and FX are PORTABLE!"
And electrolytes are what plants crave.
I swear half the people I argue with are dinks.
IF YOU HAVE PEOPLE YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU HAVE TO DO WORK PEOPLE WILL HIRE YOU FOR.
Under job listings for javafx: 2 listings within 200 miles of me.
Under job listings for C#/WPF: dozens and dozens of jobs.
Portability doesn't matter if you're broke.
My stomach owes no allegiance to "high fallutin" concepts such as openness, avoiding vendor lock in, or the high ideals of platform independence.
I'll take the microsoft gulag if it pays my bills.
I don't know whats so hard to grasp about this. Some people are completely divorced from reality.
Edit: Hello to all my peeps who I haven't talked with in a while. I hope everything is going swimmingly in your lives. May your beer forever be paid for by your employer and your code bug free!7
Protip: If you're using a tiling window manager, you can detach the file browser on the left of any Jetbrians IDE.
This way you can switch to it using the shortcuts you're used to from the WM, as well as resize it very easily.
Also this way if you are not using the integrated terminal of the IDE, you can have the file browser span the full height of your screen, while the terminal and the IDE share the hight on the right.
Disclaimer: I don't know if this is common knowledge, I'm sorry if it is, but I was completely shocked that I missed this feature for years.6
So I have complained to our landlord about a noisy neighbor who keeps blasting shitty music at midnight, and technically its against the law as well, but this bitch ass joke of a human being ignored even the most highest of authority.
Seeing I can't solve it with democracy, I finally gave up with any reasonable type of way to restrain this motherfucker (even calling police didn't help) and went full asshole with him
I know his WiFi uses WPS PIN, but I'm not gonna throttle his network, I want to piss him off so much he'll regret living beside me, or at our place entirely.
So I performed a Evil Twin attack, I had my Raspberry Pi act as a both cloned AP and a deauther. Finally the plan came to effect.
I ran the deauther in his AP, effectively disconnecting his devices, and had the devices connect to the cloned network. The primary aim of my attack is to annoy this bitch ass to the point of no return. The project I used serves a website on the cloned AP like a update for his router. I intentionally made it run overnight, blasted Lo-fi hip hop and went to sleep. Before I dozed off, I can hear their scream of rage because they can't blast their music at full volume (waddaya guess, they use Spotify).
I finally woke up the next day, and I find neighbor complaining about me, and they were trying to tell the landlord I was hacking them. It's technically true but its not as bad as domestic disturbance for a full fucking week.
Landlord asked me if I did it, I declined, she believed me (I know she does because she knows I'm a pure soul unlike this mofo). Then he left frustrated, threatened to sue me for hacking.
I just smickered, he can't really prove anything unless I was being sloppy.
Nowadays I get good sleep and finally we live in a quite peaceful place now. Now you may ask, what happened to that guy? After he threatened me, the next night he found his things outside his own room, he was kicked out by the landlord.
Moral of the story: we ain't hating on your music taste but don't showcase it like its the most important thing in the world when everyone is sleeping. Case and point, don't be an asshole24
My Cat-magnets make me smile every time I look at them!
OfferZen gives the best swag for developers in South Africa!1
I hate those fake coders who boast themselves about their code on social media😒.If you don't know it learn it, don't fake it48
I got the news of my promotion in the middle of our Team Building feast, which was also the same week I won the singing contest at my office. Good week, that one.1
It is with a heavy heart that I said aufwiedersehen to my mom last night. She passed peacefully in her sleep, and is now resting in the fields and forests of heaven. She was born in 1932 in Hamburg, Germany, and at age 7 the world around her exploded into one of the most horrific wars that Europe or the world had seen up to that time. By the time it was over, she was thirteen, and had spent many of her formative years witnessing how low humanity can get in the treatement of fellow humans. She survived the post-war years, and came to the US in the late 1950's, and met my dad while in nursing school. She had four chidren, Tim, Chris, Tanya, and myself. She was a doting and caring mom, who dedicated herself to raising her children. She loved to cook, loved animals, especially dogs, and love human beings in general, and had a compassionate and kind heart. There is a small, empty space in the world that she filled, but heaven is a little brighter with her smile and her laughter. I miss you mom, but I know I will see you again some day. Aufwiedersehen, lieber Mutti! Wir sehen uns bald.15
Started this machine for the first time after 18 years!!
IBM R51 (32 bit single core Pentium M), 1gb RAM, 40gb old mechanical hdd.
Installed Ubuntu 12 (32 bit from old iso) , installed some educational software to teach mouse n keyboard (my daughter is good in touchscreen on ipad), she is getting hang of mouse so quick, amazed how fast kids learn, wish I could be so fast too.15
Linux on the 3DS is going well. Others have no issue at all, but I've gotta fix issues with the toolchain executables being named wrong, the provided, precompiled toolchain everyone else uses being the wrong one and being incompatible...
Fuck my life.1
I do not appreciate your condescending tone when you explain things you made, or concepts I'm not familiar with. You also started at some point. Do kindly get the fuck off your high horse and act goddamn normally.
I hope you step on a Lego tomorrow morning.11
I was pulling my hair out trying to figure out why IntelliJ was asking me if I wanted to add some files to git when they were in .gitignore.
My dad found a phone a few weeks ago and asked me what he should do with it. Knowing how much it hurts to lose personal data, I said I could try to find the owner and send it back.
My first attempt was to search through the files on the SD card in order to find an identifying document (CV, bill, address...) but there were only family pictures.
My second attempt was to unlock the phone and check the information about the owner and the accounts linked to it. But for this to be possible adb has to be enabled. Good thing is that that particular brand shows an option for activating adb on the recovery menu.
But then, it's Android Oreo and I haven't found a way to lift the lock pattern. I thought I could bruteforce it over the shell (as I found there could be about 1300 possibilities for 2 to 5 point patterns), but there is the same attempt throttling as on the screen so that would take ages.
Finally, I found the owner in the most "social" way : The phone was displaying the weather for a particular place. It turns out that there are only 3K inhabitants in that city, si I thought that a big enough Facebook group might help me find the owner. So I posted a message on a 500 people FB group dedicated to this city with a selfie of the owner : someone identified her within 20 minutes.
Mission accomplished 😎44
Some empty-headed helpdesk girl skipped into our office yesterday afternoon, despite the big scary warning signs glued to the door.
"Hey, when I log in on my phone, the menu is looking weird"
"Uh... look at my beard"
"Just look at this beard!"
"Does this look like a perfectly groomed beard"
"Uh... it's pretty nice I guess"
"You don't have to lie"
She looks puzzled: "OK... maybe it could use a little trimming. Uh... a lot of trimming". "I still like it though" she adds, trying hard to be polite.
"I understand you just started working here. But the beard... the beard should make it clear. See the office opposite to this one?"
"Perfectly groomed ginger beards. It's all stylish shawls and smiles and spinach smoothies. Those people are known as frontend developers, they care about pixels and menus. Now look at my beard. It is dark and wild, it has some gray stress hairs, and if you take a deep breath it smells like dust and cognac mixed with the tears caused by failed deploys. Nothing personal, but I don't give a fuck what a menu looks like on your phone."
She looked around, and noticed the other 2 tired looking guys with unshaven hobo chins. To her credit, she pointed at the woman in the corner: "What about her, she doesn't seem to have a beard"
Yulia, 1.9m long muscled database admin from Ukraine, lets out a heavy sigh. "I do not know you well enough yet to show you where I grow my unkempt graying hairs... . Now get lost divchyna."
Helpdesk girl leaves the scene.
Joanna, machine learning dev, walks in: "I saw a confused blonde lost in the hallway, did you give her the beard speech?"
"Yeah" -- couldn't hold back a giggle -- "haha now she'll come to you"
Joanna: "No I already took care of it"
"She started about some stupid menu, so I just told her to smell my cup". Joanna, functional alcoholic, is holding her 4pm Irish coffee. "I think this living up to our stereotype tactic is working, because the girl laughed and nodded like she understood, and ran off to the design department"
Me: "I do miss shaving though"71
After moving, I don't have DSL yet so I have to use mobile data to get internet access. Additionally I had to finish a freelancing job. In Germany you have one of the most expensive and least reliable mobile networks in europe.
I had to upload my develpoed software to a remote server
So I suddenly was sent back in time. A single call would have disrupted the download (I can't use internet and phone at the same time, might be a phone issue). While my phone has "high speed" volume left and showed at least HSPA, but I still, the upload rate was prehistoric:9
This was at a hackathon which my study organises yearly. It's a 24 hours challenge and you've got to work in teams. It's always from 12 (noon) to 12 (noon the other day).
Another group of programmers was pulling their hair out because of their code not working, it kept crashing and they didn't see it after more than an hour (half of the team had difficulties with keeping their eyes open and it was about 3-4am so we were already programming nearly non stop for about 15-16 hours).
Walked by and offered to take a look:
"YES PLEASE FUCKING HELP"
Took a look and about two seconds later:
"oh you're missing a hashtag there *points*"
All programmers at once: MOTHERFUCKER! (or in Dutch: GODVERDOMME!) (motherfucker contextualizes the situation better imo)
I think I made their entire hackathon at that moment 😊30
Shame me later for piracy but I think i just found the goldmine of books and vid tuts. Has packt(books, vids) and even O'Reilly books as recent as last month. This good boye has EVERYTHING.