There are lots of words in this jira ticket. All real words that make sense on their own. However, put together, they are completely fucking meaningless. Now my brain hurts!!!

Fuck working.

I’m sure I was meant to be born into wealth!

No matter how hard I try I don’t think I’ll ever get American corporates.

I’m from the UK but I work for an American company and I can only describe them as fucking insane.

I’m sure they employ people to send the most pointless emails ever, I just opened one and there is literally nothing but a picture in it.

We have meetings about absolutely nothing. Whole company meetings where it’s just managers talking about themselves and they think it’s fun.

They also seem to have created their own version of the universe where they expect everyone in it to be disciples of the company, get excited about their crap and tell the whole world how great they are.

Those that go along with it must be struggling with major cognitive dissonance. Nothing is that great and spending a large proportion of your time making someone else rich so that you can afford to eat just sucks.

I’m not saying everyone should hate their jobs, I don’t hate mine but the complete lack of realism is just weird.

I used to work for a terrible loans company. In their sales department they would employ mostly people in their early 20s with very little work experience and treat them like utter garbage. They would be told off for the slightest thing, made to work extra hours and treated like crap if they dared to have any sort of life outside of work.
One day a company wide email came round from someone who had had enough. It basically said how much he hated working there, bitched about each one of the managers in turn and pointed out the terrible working conditions.
The guy basically sent it, got up and walked out. Personally I’d never met him but in my head he’ll always be a legend.

Does anyone actually regularly reply to recruiter messages if they aren’t looking for a job? Seen a few posts where people get frustrated with them.

I haven’t been on LinkedIn for ages so I don’t know what I’ve got there but I still get random emails every week about various jobs. I just figure they’re part of a mass email and ignore them.
I’ve never had a recruiter refuse to put an application forward for a job because I didn’t reply in the past.

I’m so tired, my brain hurts, I just want to sleep.

Have loads of work that I need to complete this week but I’m barely half way through so I’ll be working the weekend.

Work, family, relationships, house to look after. Having ‘it all’ is a complete fucking scam. It just leaves you exhausted, lazy and fat. All the while I’m painfully aware of how minuscule my problems actually are. Need to escape from this mind fuck treadmill somehow.

Fuck corporate bullshit. I do the job, you pay me, the rest is pointless crap.
You are not my family, I don’t base my whole self worth on working for you and mostly I really don’t care.

I’m really not cut out for this shit.

Wasn’t an intended attack but our virus software had an update that meant it quarantined one on the windows startup files. Cue every user being unable to start up their pcs. That was a fun day!

I worked for a finance company and wrote an app that was used to detect fraud rings. It helped identify and catch quite a few. That was pretty successful.

Now I write stuff to make rich people richer. Does make me feel anywhere near as useful.

Dear Build Server, my code is fine, it works locally, we’re all happy. Then I send it to you and you shit the bed.

If you were were a person you’d be the one sitting in a corner at parties, crying to get attention.

(For anyone feeling the need to state the obvious, I’m fully aware I’ve broken something, I just want to be grumpy about it)

I have to make a change to one of our web apps today. I hate front end, the code for this is terrible, the fix is going to be horrible and hacky.
I really miss having some kind of motivation for this work, it would make life easier.
Instead it’s just one empty pointless day after another.

I’ve got the cold from hell and my last years performance review to write.
These things are fucking terrible and every time I read a cheesy corporate competency that I have to prove, I feel slightly sick.
Just got to find a way of saying ‘I spent the last year doing just enough not to get fired’ and make it sound like I’ve reinvented the wheel.
Think I might be looking for a new job soon.

!dev, just a rant

I got covid a couple of weeks before Christmas. Would have been considered a mild case as I didn’t need hospital treatment but felt really rough for about a week.

A month later I still have a cough, hardly any sense of taste or smell and exhaustion.

One day I think I’m fine and then I struggle with everything. It’s like having severe depression again.

I keep hearing about people having hardly any symptoms and being better in a couple of days. I am definitely envious of those people.

Covid sucks!!

So fed up with so much today.
- Idiots who have the word technical in their job title and get paid way more than me but are about as technical as my teacup
- Stuff breaking for no reason
- People thinking that I have nothing better to do than look at their shitty code for them
- My own grumpy arse

I would just say I’m sick and go home, but I work from home and don’t want to talk to anyone.

My latest mandatory training:
CSRF can be really bad.

We’ll no fucking shit Sherlock!

The company I work for got new owners a while ago and it’s starting to get more and more corporate.

We get several BS emails a day. They are generally incentives to share company marketing on social media, ‘interesting’ information about managers I neither know nor care about, updates from all the many virtue signalling clubs or the CEOs latest ramblings.

I suspect it’s only going to get worse.
I have no idea why companies feel the need to indoctrinate their workers into the company culture. I just want to do my job and get paid. I have no interest in faking positivity and devoting my life to any organisation.

Might be time to start looking for a new job.

Anyone live in a country that isn’t a complete a total shitshow?

I just want to go somewhere the government aren’t a bunch of lying, self serving arseholes, tech hasn’t been turned into a joke by idiots, I can have a decent standard of living and my kids can get a good education.

There’s got to be somewhere on the planet.

If not, does anyone want to start a new country with me?

We’ll today has gone to shit for several reasons.
Everyone and everything can fuck off and die. Think I’m going to drink until I can’t remember who I am. Obviously after I’ve finished work, picked the kids up, done some housework and got the kids into bed. FML

My motivation has completely gone. Any time I get something that requires even a small amount of thought I can’t find any energy to bother.

Caffeine doesn’t help anymore, I just want to go to sleep for a few months.

Getting requests at work to look at stuff I did over a month ago as they’ve only just decided to test it. The original tickets were a shitshow and I did my best to understand what they wanted but I’m not even sure they knew.

Now they’re coming back with business rules that aren’t working as expected and them not being sure how stuff works.

If I’m really honest, I just don’t care. I want to be helpful and nice and I’m doing a good job pretending but really, bringing myself to even look at this feels exhausting. It all just makes me want to go back to bed for a couple of weeks.

The company I work for is being bought out by a large corporate. Apparently I should be excited. I just feel sad.

Why do people ask me stuff on a Friday afternoon? Just let me nap in peace you fuckers!!

Got a bit annoyed with something yesterday and decided to look at what other jobs might be out there. Not seriously but sometimes it’s good to know you have options.

I went on to LinkedIn for the first time in a while and FML it’s got way worse than it used to be. These are the posts I saw in the 5 minutes I was as on there (I have summarised them a bit):

‘I was having a bad day and ended up saving some deaf/blind woman’s life by rescuing her dog from a river. So if you’re having a a bad day it might end up being good’ - erm no you didn’t, not even your Nan is going to believe this BS!

‘I am a working Mum, it’s really hard for all of these reasons (all the stuff about how you actually have to look after your own child)’ - well no shit Sherlock, did it not even cross your mind that incubating and then raising a small human was going to be time consuming. Even without a job it’s hard enough, there are plenty of working parents that would have told you beforehand.

From a Facebook employee, they are currently going on about inclusivity at Facebook:
‘It’s really important for me that my team know who I’m married to…(I didn’t read the rest)’ - I’m pretty sure that your team couldn’t give a rats arse who you’re married too and only really care if you’re an arsehole or not.

I thought all the jokes about LinkedIn were weird one off posts but apparently not. What is worse is all the people who applaud this crap. Seriously, pixel people are crazy!!!

Me this morning: just got a small ticket, should only take a couple of hours. I’ll be done by lunchtime.

1 hour later: this class is a bit of a mess, I’ll just do a bit of refactoring

3 hours later: why the fuck didn’t I just leave this alone. This is going to take days to finish!!!

3 1/2 hours later: git undo and pretend it didn’t happen

Completely lost all my confidence in dev. Spent a few years as a solo dev, sometimes with just one junior. Was quite happy getting requirements, making design decisions, just getting on with it.

I knew I was lacking in a few skills but was given no time to learn anything, so decided to leave for a more structured company.

Got a job with a great company 18 months ago, good devs, proper development lifecycle in place etc.

I just feel completely lost. I’ve felt stressed since I started, feel like I don’t know anything anymore. I’m not confident in anything I write. I just feel stuck and a complete idiot. I kind of expected it when I started but 18 months later and it’s not getting any better.

Have no idea how to fix this, maybe there isn’t a way. Maybe I’m just done with this career and I need something new. So fed up with it and pissed off with myself.

Sometimes I just want an easy fucking life.

No social media or news for 2 weeks. It was nice to give my brain a break.

Internet people seem even more crazy now than they did before!!

I’m interested to see if anyone has had a complete break from all social media and news for a while and what difference it made to them.

Been feeling increasingly tired and stressed recently and thinking of taking a month off, if I can. All SM and news seem to tell you is how the world is burning today. As much as this doesn’t help me, I still feel compelled to check stuff all the time. There’s absolutely no point as there is literally nothing I can do to make any difference.

So I’m thinking a month off might actually make me feel a bit better. I’m trying to think of downsides but I’m not sure there are any.

I’d have a cafe by the sea and have good coffee and nice homemade cakes.

I actually think about this a lot and then I have to come back to reality and realise I’m not that good at baking and I have bills to pay and there’s a pandemic on so nothing is open anyway.

!dev

Sitting in a vaccination centre waiting for my Covid vaccine.

Not looking forward to it, I hate injections!!!

Things that are pissing me off today, after only 1 1/2 hours of work:

1) Dumb arse questions that ask why stuff isn’t working how they wanted, even though it’s working as per the specifications. Try creating a request once you actually know what you want you fucking moron.

2) Front end. I know some people like it but I don’t. Especially when it’s a complete clusterfuck, spaghetti, several thousand line long JavaScript file that dynamically creates the html, and has functions that run based on css classes.

3) Pointless meetings, I have one later. Arranged by our customer service team, with a client and has something to do with a completed piece of work. I have absolutely no idea what it’s about but half the world seems to have been invited so I’m guessing they want to waste time talking shit about nothing for a while.

I’m seriously considering faking my own death today. Or just being sick as it’s slightly less extreme.