Aboutbad pun engineer, avoiding eye contact with mutable data structures
Skillsscala, java, python
LocationCosta da Caparica
Joined devRant on 5/4/2018
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Interviewer: Do you perform well under pressure?
Me: Never thought about it but I can give it a try with Bohemian Rhapsody now if you want4
Don't you just love cracking dev jokes and have that one special flower start with their:
followed by an explanation showing how much expertise in the field they've gathered over the years to be able to point out your joke is not 100% accurate.
Imagine them at a party.
- Knock knock
- Well, technically you wouldn't ASK who's there, statistically people would look first, but nice try20
actor ! PoisonPill
^ Fun fact: in Akka actor system you kill an actor by sending them a poison pill.
Whoever came up with this - I want to befriend the shit outta you.1
I'm moving to Portugal*, so done with this fucking sadistic weather** up in UK / Ireland.
* I really am actually :D freshly decided and set in stone already - 6 months!!
** the weather really is the main reason, I'm a beach animal ^^10
Speaking of work stations - once upon a time there were not many screens on my desk.. and it was the best ;)2
Anyone going to Florence for Scala Italy conference 14-15 Sept?
...or - anyone from Florence here at all?:)2
Sexist prick alert!
So wearing my summer dress and generally all dolled up for a massive work summer party I hear from one of the devs from a remote location that "wow, I do not look like a developer" and "I look like I should have things explained to me at a high overview ha-ha-ha" but it was "a compliment" so me getting pissed was "overreacting" and I "should calm down"
Sorry but no.
Please do not ever say anything like that to any female developer, even if you mean it "as a compliment" (that sounds like.. you know.. like you're saying women generally prefer make up to thinking)
That's lame af if you ask me60
Not mine but an error message in a game when you're trying to logout:
"You're currently not logged in. Please log in to log out."
Logically valid though1
Recruiters are fucking unbelievable sometimes.
With about one year experience I applied to company A and company B. Kinda competitors in what dev skillset they're looking for.
Company A reviewed my CV and decided I don't have enough experience without giving me a chance to present my actual knowledge.
Company B tells me screw your CV come along show us what you got. I rocked the interview with an offer the next day which I accepted, absolutely thrilled.
Fast forward 7 months I get an email from company A, same recruiter, inviting me to an interview as they're "impressed with my profile and feel like I've gone a long way" (definitely just because company B hired me and I passed my probation)
Ah the joy responding to them that as I value honour and honesty quite highly I don't think I would be a culture match for company B where it is a norm to reject candidates and come back pouch them after they pass probation at competitors.
Eek.. instant apologies email and of course explaining it's not poaching but "exploring opportunities".
Screw company A, honestly.6
"The thing about monads is once you finally understand them you immediately lose the ability to explain what they are to others."
Can't remember the author but that's spot on hehe. Who's enjoying their functional journey? I'm a noob of a year and find it fascinating3
Support guy: The page isn't loading
Me: can you show me?
Support guy *brings a fucking PRINTED SCREENSHOT, full colour*: here
Me *shocked as ever, sketching roughly page's UI on the paper he brought*: here. Fixed
We both laughed but myself only on the outside. I cried within. That's like the next fucking level.
The next one I think could only be taking a pic of a printed screenshot. Or printing a pic of a screen.
I'm not scared of a computer passing the Turing Test. I'm terrified of one that intentionally fails it.
Let's take a minute of silence for all of our fellow developers currently involved in monolith migration projects.3
"My code is good, I'm senior and don't make silly mistakes anymore. Tests are for mediocre developers"
This is what a guy who I considered a mentor for long enough time said to me when I was at a junior level. He wouldn't listen to my arguments because I was just a junior obviously and knew nothing about development. Needless to say I kinda dropped the mentor thing after this and a few other things he said or did.
He was quite surprised that I don't want to learn when I have an opportunity to learn from an experienced person. Sorry bud, trust but verify. You failed.2
So there's a smart SALT DISPENSER. It changes colours, plays music and reacts to voice. I mean you still have to shake it to salt your goddamn dish.
And I would be ok with that... but how the fuck do you carry on with your social life. At some stage you're bound to say to your guests:
"Hey guys, listen to this tune" after which you pass them the salt dispenser.
Wont be posting links but its called Smalt.4
I know you're not supposed to say that, sexist, all other -ists and whatever but as a female dev I wish sometimes I had other female devs on the team. I'm a bit OCD about perfect nails so, you know, stupid things - chats about nail polish, periods and such27
X: So, do you have any weaknesses?
Y: Yes, I'm very honest.
X: But I don't think that's a weakness
Y: I don't give a fuck what you think2
Using Mac at work and Ubuntu at home.
Every feckin weekend I spend 10min relearning keyboard shortcuts before I can get productive because all of a sudden cmd+c doesn't copy but instead deletes random shit.
The madness of life.10
Sometimes I wonder what my non tech friends think about my search history ...
Social let's-help-female-programmers warriors piss me off.
The other day a massive email thread at work on how women are misrepresented in tech and how we need to help them and how using words such as "guys" is intimidating and generally patronising shit like "let's advertise jobs on websites like femaleprogrammers.com instead stackoverflow because there's too many white males on stackoverflow."
99% participants in this topic were guys.
One girl sent a message saying she doesn't want to be helped and she wants to know she has been picked for her skill and not filling in diversity numbers.
...would you believe she has been schooled on problems women in tech face by those lads too.
Like "woman, please... we speak diversity here"
Who remembers time when you actually had to press power button in order to turn your computer off?
Seen some YouTube video the other day with kids nowadays told to work on an old computer with I think win95 and no one figured out what the cryptic "You can now turn your computer off" meant :-)2
Wish Duck Duck Go was easier on us grammatically to make transition from G***le easier.
Like how do you create a past tense of "to duck duck go". Duck duck went?19
Anyone else loses their shit when people start the “which programming language is the best” discussion?
It’s like arguing whether it’s best to build headphones with brick or with pasta.16
Security question setup:
Question: Your father's second name
Error: Please provide at least 5 characters
You failed me, father.3
you know you've been to stackoverflow too much when you post on devrant and expect someone to downvote and start bitching about how you didn't start your post with a capital letter and how as a result your post is unreadable.12