AboutHater of C#.
SkillsJava, Python, Brainf*ck.
Joined devRant on 7/31/2017
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Manager during daily stand- up meet: We are all going to upgrade to 20GB RAM machines by the end of this week.
Me: Noice, can open two Chrome windows now.
Just upgraded to macOS High Sierra (10.13.1), and holy cow it is buggy as hell.
Some of my findings include:
1. unresponsive "cancel" button on certain dialog boxes.
2. erratic behaviour of the "show password" checkbox.
guess how is trying to downgrade until the requisite patches arrive?2
*me and my manager, during my appraisal meeting
me: *talks about work done in previous project, and the current one under him
manager: but your JIRA throughput is very less.
me: the tickets which I pick are more research oriented and almost always take more time than the other config- fix type ones, and due to me being shifted from another team, there has been an increasing learning curve, I realize that, but...
manager: look at Jack, his throughput has been consistently high.
*me, after realizing my appraisal has obviously gotten affected and this discussion will lead nowhere
me: I would like to have a chat with HR before I sign the form with the percentage increment you are offering.
*me, with hr the next day
hr: your manager tells me that your throughput has been less than satisfactory.
me: *goes on to explain about the type of tickets I have been working on, along with other enhancements done to make people's lives easier
hr: but the throughput...
me: where the f**k do I sign?2
Has anyone ever had to face the wrath of the people they were ranting about here in devRant?
I introduced my reporting manager to this network, and I have done some amount of ranting about him.
I guess you could say 'danger' is my middle name.3
My JIRA fanatic manager: log whatever you do during the day, even the smallest things are important. and you have all the material needed for next day's standup meet.
me, on a particular tuesday:
bitched about an unreasonable bug raised by the testing team
listened to Rihanna's song Diamonds
had four mugs of coffee
, among various other things.
manager: so, ssup?
me: eh, didn't do much yesterday. was one of those down days I guess.
Guess who was asked to write "didn't do much yesterday" on all the JIRA tickets assigned to him?
*me and a bored coworker
me: bored as hell dude.
him: i have a fun game in mind.
him: *brings his keyboard
him: type the string you can type the fastest. we will time it. i will start.
him: *types his name
him: your turn.
me: Scanner scanner = new Scanner(System.in);
him: the fuck is wrong with you?16
Day x stand up meeting scheduled for late evening:
Manager: so, what's up?
me: fixed two bugs, analysis going on for another, having a couple of blockers, but nothing out of the ordinary.
Day x + 1 stand up scheduled for morning:
manager: what's up?
me: *repeats pretty much the same stuff, with some updates on the analysis
manager: but this is what you told me yesterday.
me: but there haven't been any working hours between our two conversations.
manager: your efficiency is questionable.
me: *thinking about my happy place with a clenched jaw2
If only the Finance team in my office knew about the proportion of the salary that I get, that goes towards me browsing 9gag every month.
Glad they don't.1
The thing that I hate the most about my job:
Manager: We need to get this done.
Me: okay. (after some scouring online) this open source library looks like a perfect fit for the requirement.
Manager: oh sweet.
*some eons later*
Me: dude, I developed this general purpose utility and I think this might be helpful to other developers and something that we could open source.
Manager: uh no. Company policy.
Me: but we make use of open source libraries all the time.
Manager: that's different.4
Stumbled upon VS Code recently, an open source freeware from Microsoft. And as a VIM fan, I must say that it blew me away with its sleek nature.
Been a user of Sublime and Atom in the past as well, but VS code surely stands out.10