Life is just so fucking shitty sometimes

I don’t give a fuck

I’m a scared white boy in India

I fucking hate this industry it makes me want to kill myself

How do you say no to providing a salary range for recruiters?

I think I have a drug problem

That moment u realize being sick is better than working

I wish everyone would quit coding at the same time so we could just destroy any stupid ass system that is currently in place and start fresh with a sense of belonging in this world

jQuery apologists have no idea what the debugger; statement means

CODING CODING CODING HAHAHA I LOVE PROGRAMMING BEING A LITTLE CODE SLUT. I LOVE SILICON VALLEY IM SUCH A QUIRKED UP LITTLE CODE SHAWTY LOOKING FOR SOME ALGOASS 🍆💦😩.

“Slams fists on keyboard”

I LOVE BEING A CUTE SCREEN TWINK, IMPRESSING PAPI CEO WITH MY FINGER COMBINATIONS. I LOVE PLEASING EXECUDADDY. 🍑😏🫦

“Takes keyboard in hand and slams it against desk until keyboard keys explode everywhere”

I LOVE WATCHING THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT AND CORPORATE AMERICA FUCK MY ASS IN RETURN FOR PERSONAL PROFITS. 🤑☔️

*digs fingernails into the wall and claws off paint and then snorts it”
*pees and shits pants*
*cries in corner with extra agony*

I’m sorry girls but I can’t trust y’all 🤷‍♂️. Periodt.

Also, who wants to get a hot dog with me rn. Im fucking starving my goober gabb off, I feel like a sage fasting for the sake of personal holyness, but like fuck that I’m zooted and I need a dog.

How the fuck would u be so fucking stupid enough to create a site with EPiServer/Optimizely and it’s piece of shit organization, community, developers, etc… is this some sort of fresh hell I have been banished to? Why am I cursed with working with this horrible, slimy, awful platform. It’s giving me an aneurysm just fucking thinking about how shitty this ecosystem is setup. Someone needs to burn it. Burn it all to the fucking ground, I have had enough and it is a stain on our society.

Typing

Got so high I pretended I couldn’t speak and was lame to the train conductor when I forgot my ticket and fell asleep before transfer lmao

Alone again.

Hey girls, is “uhhhh, uhhhh do you like hentai?” a good opening tinder line?

I’m so done with people bruh. Getting friends an adult is literally just having pissing contests about status, money, and power. Like am I just supposed to sit there and really truly believe that something fucking POSITIVEEE will come out of my restraint instead of taking two hands and beating their face into a fucking bowl when they talk to me rude?!? “Like no I don’t mind at all how you mentioned your cool new house in that manner, I really hope it doesn’t burn down with your family inside :)” The amount of conceited, prideful, scumbag, asshole, penisbreath, pieces of raw shit that inhabit the earth makes me question my own validity for existing. 99.999% of people I would never want to marry, be friends with, or even really speak to - because you know what?!? - because why??!? - because it’s a waste of my own fucking time that’s why. I could think of a million things to do that would actually benefit us all instead of being entrapped in a useless fucking social experience with these fucks. Everyone is a obese fucking pillow princess, and I hope the only thing that they can eventually fuck is themselves. FUCK

Not to do friendly fire or anything but most developers are fucking idiots

Year of da big money

https://open.spotify.com/track/...

- be any programmer hired to a job
- do some cool thing that helps the business
- gets labeled as a smart programmer and a helpful team member
- get questions and cries of help from everyone at the office
- get burnt out and refuse to help some people
- get labeled as lazy, bad at my job, and having a bad attitude
- gets shadow fired
- cycle repeats

It’s time to burn down the houses of every rich person - and I hope we actually fully commit this time :)

Get to a point in your life where you don’t care if your girlfriend/boyfriend/SO leaves you

Uber drunk and have to get up in 3 hours for lots of meetings hooray 😵. Anyways, my boss saved my from my hell scape of a team that I was on an now I actually feel like I can contribute. Fuck anyone who tells me how to design shit. I’m really good at making stuff good - and anyone who says different is a fucking idiot.

The feeling when you crush like 15 tickets in one day

I’m a mf cutthroat - people who have shit on me before reach out to the depths of a hellhole project in search of me rescuing them, and I only cut their fingers off so they fall back in

Start standing up for my health and my expertise more, dive deep into animation, get a job on the product side, find time for my neglected side projects, go on more walks, get with a hot dev girl who can act as my lead and can spank and beat me when my code is shitty, network more with other devs to build collective safety nets for each other, buy a house with a record player room and hockey garage, practice more love

Riddle me this Batman, why am I constantly afraid that other developers are going to fuck up my work after my time on the codebase?

It’s Christmas time so I drink during work to maintain my cheer levels

Fuck windows and fuck Microsoft. Nothing works

Worst: Getting fired for talking too much shit about how the higher ups don’t know how to run a company.
Best: Getting hired at a way less stressful job that pays 50% more and realizing the last place was toxic as fuck.

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the airport, I was at the bars getting shitfaced before my flight. The people all held their luggage with care, in hopes that someone wouldn’t clog the line up for 20 fucking minutes.

The luggage was all nestled and packed with care
And I with my cheese its and Carmel m&ms, would soon to be snacking in the air overhead.