I would build a roommate management app to manage common groceries, budget, rent, tasks like cleaning and all this kind of stuff that is crowded on our whiteboard

warning: huge ass rant, language.

sooo, i’ve been away from too long from here but in my defence i had nothing to rant about.... LOL YOU WISH.

this yeah and part of the last one were a huge dumpster fire. i had terrible and stupid clients, but this time, oooh my. i had the kind of client that puts you in the state of taking drugs to talk with him.

so, basically my job is to use IT to run businesses and part of it is going paperless and bringing intelligence to their DMS. I have 5 years experience on the field, not a senior, but let’s say i do know my way around the job. this involves a lot of windows services, scripts (in vbscript..), powershell tasks, i basically lick Microsoft boots for a living :D

So, huge part of the job is taking “physical” (on paper) processes, taking them to digital, then making them better, once they are used to the system. (nothing secret I work with M-Files)

But this guy. Dude. this is the kind of person that needs to look good towards his boss. it’s the guy that says his words are “cartesian”, with a “precise meaning”. My, Fucking, Ass.

When it comes to structure (folders, flows, trees, whatever) it’s important to think about design, you want to touch it the least at the end. i have to modify workflows and objects countless times. and yes, i had with him a long and extensive design phase. the dude basically says “yes” without reading what’s been done, and then changes mind and asks “who the fuck approved this shit”. the problem comes when you write services to process huge amounts of data to be saved idk, on the FS, and decide that it was wrong, and that it needs to be changed and retroactively. then change it back. then change the process. then make it bigger, so big your staff gets confused as fuck. then you want to impose stuff to your suppliers, which they don’t give a fuck about your requests.

then. THEN. then you come to me, say it’s my fault you might lose your job because release must be pushed further because you didn’t want to lose your fucking pride by admitting that you were wrong about something it’s my fucking expertise, something your 15 years experience accountant also told you, as well as half of your accounting department (the way VAT is treated basically). get fucking fired already. for real. and guess who had to implement something wrong on purpose knowing It would be a fucking nightmare to properly reverse?

without mentioning that some stuff makes so 0 fucking sense, jesus, get wrecked by a horny duck dude. who the fuck needs to store e-mails in public folder for each fucking email in the company? take a cryo backup solution. no, each email that comes into each mailbox needs to be assigned to a working site. without exception. why would an email to order pizzas for the dinner be assigned to a working site?

also, thanks a lot for making me writing a huge service the other way around because you didn’t read my emails. thank you. because how the fuck am i supposed to know that i need X data from Y and not Y from X? (over, over simplifying here). the number of hours spent there , uuugh.

but hey, don’t worry, I hopefully got to spend the morning of my birthday, which was also a day off, helping you out because your staff is basically overwhelmed.

god, they aren’t the brightest stars in the sky, but I can just understand them. poor souls.

but hey besides all this. it would’ve been nice acknowledging the many mistakes done on your side my dear client. no, while being 100% e-mail backed, somehow the error is in our side. (my boss knows it isn’t don’t worry he covers me).
like, a couple of days ago he asked me to solve a huge bug on an invoice validation workflow that must’ve been a bug because was designed in a shitty way. it wasn’t a bug, it was his “cartesian” specification. which i told him btw wasn’t that clever, but never mind.

hopefully client will have a 3 weeks leave. i will enjoy every day of work without him. every hour.
i will do excel macros for what I care.

once already my boss stepped in to calm down the dude, shit was going south and I was going to basically fire myself because if a phone call I finally didn’t do. i was ready to insult the shit out of his face with his boss. god thank my boss for that.

sorry for the slightly long rant

have a good day y’all

Bitcore API, because it’s a clusterfuck of methods that look senseless with a bunch of docs here and there. Love it.

Unpopular opinion :
“X company will use blockchain for Y and Z” doesn’t mean fucking nothing and no one cares a dick.

Blockchain is a nice word for a database.

Your shitcoin isn’t going to pump because of IBM or Lamborghini using blockchain.

Microsoft didn’t pump its stocks for people using MS SQL (probably but because it’s their product and products make money, so still not related) .

Get a Xanax and stop dreaming of whatever reality that exists only in your dreams, tinfoil head.

Addressed to a good half of my twitter followers base. Thank you.

2018-present, 0$ aside few tips

I’m a volunteer mobile developer for Verge, a cryptocurrency that lacks a decent and reliable mobile wallet. So I joined in for the cause and because I like mobile dev and wanted to dive in again.

Plus, FOSS orgs made me new internet friends that are now also real life friends!

Now I do nightmares in Kotlin :)

Unpopular opinion:

I love collecting stickers, I hate sticking them on my hardware.

Fight me.

I’m back after like one and a half year of inactivity and I have been in hell with this job but I’m absolutely unable to find one tale of hysteria to share.

Ha ha. You thought!

So, as backend developer, I’m naturally, currently working on redoing all our document templates since my boss has this impression I’m particularly good with MS Office. I don’t mind doing it for a couple of files, I have no urgent project or task atm and as we’re a small company everybody helps where it can.

But then my boss told me to change EVERY FUCKING TEMPLATE to the new branding guide.

So I did it. I wrote a monster.

An outrageous VBA Macro that sets automatically new headers, footers, margins, styles and whatever the fuck you want.

I don’t know if I have to be proud or disgusted of myself.

P.s.: missed this place

Well well well,

I had the habit of ranting about my idiot co-worker that does dumb shit, asks me to correct it and then takes credit.

But sometimes the dumb fuck is me and this is one of my masterpieces of brainfarts!

I’m building a cryptocurrency wallet on Native Android based on bitcore service

So I was wondering in which of the Myriad of js files was this function that changed the display attribute on a div.

Dear previous dev,

What the fuck was coming into your mind when you thought it was a good idea to write it in datetime.js???

Lazy fuck.

I think the best choice I always make is « it’s just an update on a small table what could possibly go wrong? »
*forgets where clause and pushes F5 because of the Ctrl+S reflex*

So, after getting comments on my bed not being done, here a new devdesk picture!

So, you saw my work place, now my home place!

I don’t know what this rant will look like, but hold tight because I’m pissed as fuck.

Why? Well, let’s start with the protagonist, which is me.

ARE YOU A NEW KIND OF IDIOT? 2 DAYS FOR A CABLE.

Let me explain this, I’ve picked up an old HP ProDesk 600G from work, works pretty well, installed 16Gb RAM, 3x 1TB Disks, let’s use it for some lab environment.

Wipe Windows, repartition this mess, install Kubuntu, went all ok, let’s reboot.
Login screen: fine, desktop: nothing. Two folders, command bar works. I try to open Konsole, nothing shows up. I try to go on tty2, nothing, tty3 something shows up.
Ok, maybe I’ve messed up something, let’s update, upgrade , fix missing and blablabla.
Fuck me, nothing works. Let’s go check the logs. Nothing.
What the fuck? Well it’s late let’s go to sleep. Next day I start over, reinstall Kubuntu, same problem.
Debug : nothing.

Then. THEN. I see this fucking cable. The fucking VGA. I was in DVI, what the fuck? Then I realised that I plugged in all sort of cables and plugged DVI AND VGA and DVI was set as second output. I was on FUCKING SECOND SCREEN THE WHOLE TIME. After unplugging naturally everything was normal again.

Fuck you self idiot. Fuck you.

Anyway, I’m also pissed of about my roommate. DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ANYTHING WITHOUT ASKING. Holy fucking shit, if you need to touch something, put your hand into your dirty pants and shake your immaculate dick.
I set up a fucking smart house not to fucking break everything. If a cable is there, leave it there. If I put an access point on a closet, leave it fucking there. Do you think I just want to wavebath to get a fucking tan? NO, I HAVE NI FUCKING COVERING IN MY ROOM.

If there’s a bulb in my lamp DO NOT FUCKING SWIPE IT. I spent 15 Minutes understanding why I couldn’t turn it on with my fucking phone.

FUCK YOU, and your mother that so badly designed your inorganic piece of cells that we call brain

!dev, crypto related.

Crypto is a fucking cancerous community at the moment, where everyone thinks that he will get rich overnight or just by scratching his balls in front of his pc, full of pseudo traders that shill coins here and there, talk like they were Jesus and X currency was a religion.

People that have no sense of criticism, that invest in thing they don’t understand and all this “coins rivalries“ look more like a fucking competition between brotherhoods in college than sane competition between companies.

That said, people still understand cryptocurrencies as investment assets when they should be user as what they’re called: currencies (some exceptions apply, I.e. ICOs)
Still nobody at this price would use them to buy goods and services because “it should be worth XY” and that just to reconvert them to fiat.

On the top of that, Bitcoin was born to be anti banks, anti governments, anti 3rd party trust and of course this kind of freedom has been already suppressed.
And now the exact reverse concept appears: without government trust people won’t use them because they choose to be “legal” instead of free to do what they want by following a proper ethics (don’t buy drugs kids).

Finally, SEC pushing the decision about ETF has made people scary instead of confident because it’s the same kind of people that want to be rich overnight and didn’t think that pushing the deadline for decision is a good thing as that means that they really want to take in consideration what they’re doing and want to do things the right way. That said it still kills concept of no 3rd party.

At least the dumb money has got out, and well maybe see smart people get in.

This rant affects me indirectly.
It was our diploma project, me, and DrugKidProgrammer.

He was lazy, late, and all the shit that comes with and used to party hard on weekend.

I told him that while on vacation he’d better fucking manage to get the backend done, or at least ready to debug.

Guess what?

Guy was on alcohol and probably on lsd for most period of vacation and he managed to write the PHP files... with Javascript syntax.

Well, actually it was mixed.

When he came back he gave me the files he worked on (no version control at the time), and nothing was working, 500 errors everywhere. When I opened the files I found out String concaténations using ‘+’ and shit like this.

I spend 1 and a half day correcting this shit.

Fuck you mate.

Google (employee) strikes again at classiness

The dickhead of this rant is me, and I’m writing on behalf of my coworker.

Stop singing the fucking same song from ABBA again and again, you little nervous cocksucker!

Side-note: in my defence, Super Trooper is really a catchy song :)

Side-note 2 : trooper-per, trooper-per

@oudalally 50++! Thank you :D Just for few Minutes spent helping :) that’s better than paying my beer (which I didn’t have because my bar was closed :/ )

My flatmate owes me ~40$ in XVG (2k in average) and he wants to wait that it increases in value to refund me 40$ instead of 2k XVG. So, I was thinking of an evil script that pops a popup every five minutes on his screen with my wallet address and the amount , or blocking internet connection from his laptop via a Mac filter, except bittrex website (where he has funds). What do you suggest?

Now (since iPhone X) that iPhones can recognise whether you’re watching them or not, it’s a matter of time before YouCrap & Co will pause ads while not watching them.

Think different my ass.

Now that I have the raven, I don’t care anymore \o/

Side note : just kidding, but waited long time for it

Fuck that shit once again. Spent an entire day releasing micro-patches because nobody listened to me, because "I am a developer but I don't do that full time".
Because you might think that I didn't fuck my ass with a giant bottle-shaped dildo studying development to get this fucking place maybe?
And what, I was right, once again. Because maybe I know the fucking project I work in, linked to the fucking product I'm certified for, you dumb cumfilled assface.

For those that doesn't know it, i do manage, maintain, develop stuff on our ECM infrastructure for our clients. I do basically everything as we have few clients and are a small company we can do this that way.

Anyway, had to release "urgently" 3 fucking features to a custom module to export stuff from the ECM to a client's ERP system. Tests? No time for this, don't lose time on this. I smell the "why didn't you test?" in two days. I fucking smell it.

Plus, the client is a fucking retarded mess. The kind of guy that is unable to check his previous e-mails and asks again the same thing, four times. Should I do a fucking tutorial on how to fucking use a fucking search bar? And you want to be informed on the technical details about the features? Come on, I have to explain you how to do your fucking CFO job.

And if it wasn't enough, My boss replied to the client while I was on holiday to explicitely tell the client that I'm the only one that can take care of that. That gives us a very professional image, doesn't it? And when I asked to train someone to at least do the administration job when I'm away, it's always a "we'll check that, we need that" but then nothing.

Anyway fuck it. if I resign I will laugh. 2 months to train someone else and get them on the export modules (which are commented and documented) in a company where in the office I'm possibly the only developer (we have one in the second office but he's a web developer).

Hopefully I'm at a bar drinking a fucking beer while continuing my golang "getting started" project. That's the only thing that makes me happy of coming back from holiday

p.s.: I want the fucking raven, make me dream.

Me : *writes a clean class to write logs into event viewer with different categories, and useful information for debug*
Boss: “I’m not a developer but I think that’s useless, just create a log table on a sql server and put everything there.”

I’m asking myself what keeps me here. What, the holy Christ’s butthole fuck, keeps me fucking glued to this chair.

End of a week of wonderful vacation with my SO. Time to go back dealing with a stupid company and its stupid clients.

I guess coffee and Whisky are waiting for me

Holy great fuck.
What the fuck is going on? Why? What’s happening?
Why are there plenty of new accounts reposting memes from fb/reddit/whatever all over the place?
Why are you doing this to devRant?
I’m ok with memes, there’s a section for this. But I’m seeing new accounts just signing up and hop, a meme.

I want to read people complaining, insulting dumb clients, sharing their failures and successes.
I want to argue on arguments, complain together with people, against people.
I want to read stories about managers, see exciting collabs born.
I want to see people fight the eternal battles: mac, Linux or pc? CLI or GUI? Vim or Emacs?

That’s the devRant I joined. That’s what I love here. If I wanted to get meme-spammed, I’d go on 9gag.

Yours truly,

A fellow devRanter

Golang is savage, but he’s right

Fuck you whoever designed this shitty database!

Why the fuck do you mix up underscores and hyphens? Plus MSSQL is a little fragile boy, he doesn’t like hyphens that much and you have to add brackets fucking everywhere, so FUCK YOU.

Fucking learn to design things or go fuck your fist while sitting on a banana tree, seriously.

!me.angry

Holy Fuck I love Go language!

As I mentioned in a previous rant I wanted to start a little CLI app to manage my favourite commands and decided to get started with Go, because I haven't learnt a language in a while and I don't know, let's learn cool stuff, you know?

Holy shit, it's painful but so satisfying to learn! I'm googling every line of code I'm writing but idk if it's the feeling of learning new stuff or the language itself, but my dev motivation rised a hella lot :D

Will make the repo public once I'm done, You'll let me know what I can do better then :)

Long story short : I meet people and do code at Ancienne Gare, my favorite bar. Means "Old Station" and indeed is an old station "refactored" as a bar.