alright so there's ICWH which means what it means; I call it releasing the dragon, if you catch my meaning.

Dopesmoking aside, I did some wonky Y'UV fiddle to encode RGBA data in that state of mind and because this augmented the compression ratio by a holy fuckton I said great, I'm amazing let's party.

But there was a problem: normal maps. They're not really color data, but rather directions in 3D space *encoded* as color. So my 420 encoder is great for an albedo or diffuse, but not normals.

So, what to do? Well, if we remember fucking vector math, then we know that the magnitude of a unit vector is exactly one -- normalized.

Therefore, we can encode only two elements and only the __sign__ of the third, because if given

d = 1 - ( pow(x, 2) + pow(y, 2) );

then

if(d > 0) { z = sqrt(d) * sign; };

and of course

sign = (z<0) ? -1 : 1;

You lost yet? Good. Normalpacking out of the way, we have the question of ambient occlusion, roughness, emission, metalness, edges, curvature, height, displacement... lots of grayscale maps, so why not pack them together? One map per RGBA channel and you have 2 images instead of 8.

BUT: these maps are ALSO not real color data, they're sort of these funky grayscale masks that we encode as color for convenience. So why not treat them as such?

We can have the code swap out encoding methods depending on the type of image, isn't knowing half a shit about the data convenient? So let's do that and give each individual mask less bits to begin with, depending on how much precision we need. Because if we have a

fac = {some pow of 2 <= 256};

and a

step = 1.0f/fac;

then why not just just fucking

v = clampf(v, -maxval, (maxval - step));

and then

(char) (roundf(v * step);

to force those pesky floats into byte-sized, rich-in-fucking-redundancy fixed point static ranges of values that'll fuck the entropy right in it's highly improbable ass?

Bitch you don't need millions of colors, matter of fact we could get away with barely two or even single bit for stuff like metallic or emission. If you had any idea how much smaller the file size is getting then you'd KNOW I'm going for the lossy compression overkill to get that certified, fucking authentic LOFI vibes.

Post processing, you can suck my mother fucking dick; I get them retro aesthethics for real. Since we're already reducing the color count by enormous magnitudes, let's step it up some more: about time we get into palettes, no?

Also because we're dealing with less than 8 bits per channel for every last value and this is the same for every image, then why not just go all out and pack them together -- accompany the increase in redundancy with increased density of data to make the added size of a dictionary be fucking worth it. And why not just put similar data together and pass THAT through a goddamned deflate?

Who could've thought! Knowing SOMETHING about the DATA makes DEALING with that DATA so very much EASIER! Does that make SENSE to YOU, you FUCKING rectal bleeding, fifty-gigs in size day-one update, anal bleaching lord of object oriented faggotry?

NO 64x64 _grunge-plasttr-wall_albedo06448(Copy).png in my drive shall remain untouched; I am become $:GT0x24;>, master of the pixel!

Trying to unpack some tightly compressed images, I notice the buffer grows to ridiculous sizes as it tries to keep up with how much shit I'm having it read.

But this is a small file, bunch of 64x64 textures with some heavy quantization -- I turned every goddamn float into a six-bit mini. So I do the math in my head half-assedly and know that even fully decoded it can't possibly be above a quarter of MB.

And since the buffer is now nearing his first gig, I know something is up. I remember I'm fetching a 'size of next read' uint from the file as I process it, so I figure: either the value written to disk is wrong, or I am reading at the wrong position. My answer?

Open the file.

-But sir, it's an endless hexdump!

I said OPEN. the. FILE.

Didn't just write some debugging utils for shits, so now I put them to use. I can tell on which lines the buffer size explodes because I like to log every increase and decrease in memory. So; narrow down which bin is fucking with me, take a look at the variables... what do I find?

Size of next read should be about two thousand bytes, not a fucking billion and a half. So I know where the right value is, I look around it for the wrong one; and as it turns out, the read is happening a whole longlong to the right.

Easily fixed. Stuff packs and unpacks correctly now, average ratio at around 85-90% size reduction from original, like goddamn I turned the entropy for these files into LIQUID SHIT.

I am leveling up now, so audio: prepare your anus.

If coffee is a potion of minor speed then gin is a potion of charisma, though if you fail the fortitude saving throw the effect becomes negative, and obviously the intelligence/wisdom/dexterity penalty should be somewhat mitigated by a high constitution score.

Though I would say this balance is bullshit. Having to make an additional check to resist hangover effects is also pretty fucking annoying. You'd think enough penalties are enough to get you a little bit more chatty. Maybe stop molesting my ability scores?

The guy who wrote this fucking rulebook is just playing US.

day 1: alright this project is exciting, i'll build a special ambient playlist for it to get me in the right mindset and get my mood board ready

day 2: sweet! lots of shit done already, i can't believe how good this feels. at last something i'm happy to work on!

day 3: fuck the everloving shit out of your decaying asshole i can't believe you dickheads have been working on this engine for twenty cocksucking years and still your calculation of tangents is so goddamn fucked i can't get face normals to display properly without neutering the red channel.

day 4: fuck you, i'll default back to doing four hours tops and then getting drunk

That goddamn wanker that will babble on about 'being on Linux' but never adds in the 'GNU/' because of course he likes 'open-source' better than 'free-software', free-as-in-freedom of fucking course; he can go FUCK HIMSELF.

Tell me, how often do YOU checkout dependencies for six hours and cmake all day until you get to sit around for a while trying to compile a big ole project yourself, rather than hand over a couple bucks for binaries?

Oh wait, and what if there's an update right after you're finished and it really FUCKS you?

Aye, mother fucker. The FOUR ESSENTIAL FREEDOMS do not mean you can't monetize. It only means you can't just go around ramming cocks down the throats of the consumer. THAT is your concern, bitch -- THAT is your only concern: not being able to FUCK the user all day.

void EMBRACE_GPL(void) { FSF_ZEALOTRY++; }

FUCK BITCHES GET 0x24

Since I'm getting back into gamedev, here's more gamerant for you. Today's topic?

CLASSIC ENEMY

Sometimes the baddies are not as cool, not as memorable, not as satisfying to fucking kill and then teabag their decaying corpses.

And a bunch of times the enemy is a downright pain in the ass rather than a challenge. Like the fucking lost souls in DOOM, screw those flying bitches a million times up the fucking ass.

But then take the kind of foe you actually ENJOY fighting. THAT is your classic enemy. You have a goddamn blood feud with these fucking bastards, you have a reason to face them and perhaps even the motivation to carry out mass genocide.

This is not to say you would want to *always* have to fight only this type of enemy; some variation is alright -- but when they DO show up, shit gets real. But what happens when they STOP showing up altogether?

WELL, you know what happens don't you? "I'd rather be fighting X than these annoying pieces of shit"

I like bashing in some fucking goblin skulls, that is my reason to live. I'll go through some skeletons and zombies, SURE. But when I get back to the surface, you let me spill some more GOBLINOID blood. OR ELSE.

Eh, and what about those times when you fight other humans and that's very nice but midway through the game some demonic/undead/otherwordly bitches pop up and you'd rather restart the game and go through the 'good part' one more time than face a single satanic nazi magical zombie ever again? Yeah, fuck that.

Change it up and all that if you will so the pacing and atmosphere and whatnot isn't always the fucking same; but FUCKED if sometimes you mess the whole goddamn thing just for a breath of 'fresh air'. Well, sometimes, we DONT want any fresh air you fucking idiot.

It's like the 'do the unexpected' bullshit in TV and cinema. Specially if you're doing it at like, right at the end of the fucking thing. We're too goddamn close to the ending you can't just do a narrative 180 at this point you fucking moron. YOU have led me to draw some CONCLUSIONS by now. Betray them and you betray ME.

As in, WHY should we trust the story if the story's only aim is to "suprise" us? There will always be a """TWIST""" that ooooh we didn't expect, except it doesn't make any fucking sense and is only there because I wouldn't see it coming, precisely because it doesn't make any fucking sense.

So RESPECT your audience. If we're playing GOOD vs EVIL, then make EVIL interesting. Don't make me campaign against EVERY FUCKING FORM of EVIL. Give me a LIMITED EVIL. An EVIL I can HATE. An EVIL I can feel like FIGHTING.

In conclusion, give me FEW but GOOD fucking enemies.

I don't need """THOUSANDS""" of anyshit. I only need SOME foul sons of bitches whose names I can pronounce and more importantly fucking remember. I need GOBLINS.

BRING ME some NASTY fucking GOBLINS, for my SWORD is at the ready. I will BATHE in their VENOMOUS blood and DEFILE every last one of their SANCTITIES. THAT is my mission.

But WAIT. What is that?! GOBLINS?! THEY'RE AT THE GATES! And they brought some WORG RIDERS?! AAH, you GREEN pieces of SHIT! I will SLAY you ALL!

RRRRRRRRRGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!

*multiple stabbings later*

Ah, doesn't that feel nice you whores. When 90% of what you do is fighting and the fighting isn't a PAIN in the ass? When you're HAPPY and WILLING to take part in it?!! EH?! ISN'T THAT NICE?! ISN'T IT???!!!

Fuck every developer that doesn't understand CLASSIC ENEMY and has me deal with their new dumbass, ill-conceived idea of what a foe is and then change it up for another terrible fucking idea, never to be consistent with who the fuck I am facing. FUCK. THEM.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to ride this horse into the sunset. TA-TA!

Motherfucking TES Arena just had me randomly escort some hotshot from Mordor around Alinor and shit.

!dev but you WILL relate

I'm doing a lil job for a friend designing his band's logo and shit, right. So he sends me a hand drawing and says "we want something like this, maybe"

So I say alright, I do the digital drawing mambo no problem. I send it to him, he gives me his ideas, I make adjustments, we do this ping pong thing for a few hours until the basic shape of the fucking thing is done.

Okay, today I tell him: we good on the basic shape of the thing? I'll start working on the finer details, and I'd rather not have to go back once I start on that, so look at it closely.

He says nah it's good, go for the details. Fine, I do the details. I'm 90% done with the fucking thing and all of a sudden he goes obsessive over some off-by-32-pixel line and is completely freaking out, wants me to go back and change it.

I tell him alright, but dude, I fucking TOLD YOU not to fucking do this to me. I TOLD YOU look at the goddamn fucking logo closely and make sure it is what you want BEFORE I move on to the finer details, becuase if you don't it FUCKS UP my entire goddamn schedule.

I'm not mad at the guy, just his attention span. Like fucking hell. Dude loses his mind over the most stupidly subtle of details, mother fucking artists am I right?

Still getting paid, so worth it.
Or was it?
WAS IT?

Alright I'm fairly drunk and a little bored, so I'm gonna do the loose talk and origin story because why not.

I as a kid was difficult to say the least. Dad is the coolest guy, but you cross the line and he shows his temper. Like 90% of the time it's "oh hi champ c:" but then I fuck up as children do and it's like "WELL YOU LIL SHIT".

I don't blame him or momma for my shortcomings because honestly that's disgraceful. MY FAILURES are MY FAILURES. My OWN. MY PROPERTY.

But I did grow up a little self-hating you know. Because I was able to understand that something is fundamentally fucked up. I don't know what it is but I have some malice, I've always had it. Like, I get a warm feeling from stepping out of line. That's not OK.

Anyhow let's skip over some things here because primary school is a bunch of shit. I liked the SNES a lot. I wanted to know how that thing works. Whoa look at the graphics man, it's hyper realistic!

PSX has a special place in my heart too. It's fucking awesome. Glitchy as all mother fucking shit. Loved the PSX.

Also, I WAS IN THE CHESS CLUB. And I'm proud of that. I went to tourneys and shit.

Poetry was bit of a thing. Drawing was bit of a thing. I mean, divine glory, the expression. The knees bow, the tongue confesses -- the Lord of lords, the King of kings. That's Mother Love Bone for you, good band. Momma played guitar when I was little. Classical stuff, Bach and all that. I wanted to play guitar but too complex for dumb baby brain.

Teenage years are unremarkable. I did learn to play guitar though. Did busking and shit. And that's a beatiful thing, you do song and people say hey I like this guy! Here, have some money. I was 16 when I first threw all the coins I made into a bottle of cheap alcohol. Oh, yeah, you thought this wasn't gonna get dark?

One time, I almost got blown by a homeless guy. Like, I was just zoning out and didn't even realize he wanted it. Then another time, I almost fucked a model. And of course I didn't even realize that she wanted it.

Anyhoo, enough about my sexual exploits, I met my wife at a forum. Laugh at my dumbass. She was schizofrenic and suicidal maniac threatening to kill herself so I sent her a message and said dude chill just tell me about it.

Well, she replied and I replied back. This kept on going. And for the first time I started actually getting real feelies.

Now, do note that I'm okay. I mean perfectly fine given the circumstances. Not to say that I'm not sad and all but I'm still alive and I'll make most I can of it. As in, I don't feel sorry for myself, and I don't want people feeling bad for me as that would be simply degrading. So if you feel bad, don't. Just don't.

When grandpa died grandma didn't cry in front of us. THAT is strength. I LOVE and ADMIRE grandma, she was queen. Always in my heart. She and grandpa are my heroes, and I want to be like them. Honest and hardworking. What more can you ask for, you fucking idiot?

So okay, I mentioned my wife. Her name's Karin. We were not legally married but we loved each other to the bone, and that's what matters. She's with me now and she'll always be with me. GOD bless her and may heaven be good enough for her.

Look I don't know what the fuck I'm doing here, I am only left behind. I want to live with all my heart. Life is beautiful, it really is. It really is.

I want you to know that YOU are NOT alone. That I WILL be with you. That I WILL take care of you however I can. And that I will LOVE you every waking moment.

YOU are the reason. YOU are what cannot be replaced. YOU are BEAUTIFUL. And YOU deserve a chance.

DO NOT pity yourself. YOU are more than you think. And you are more LOVED than you think. Do not fall for tricks of the mind, it's all lies. We LOVE YOU, man. We'll do anything for you. Do not leave us yet, will ya please?

Where the fuck was I going even. I don't know, it doesn't matter too much. I don't fucking care. I'm still okay. I'll tear up, dust myself off and get up again. That's what champions do. That's what grandma would do, that's what momma would do.

My pain is NOTHING but MY share of YOUR pain. And I carry it GLADLY. I would do anything for you. I will follow you to the depths of the earth, if that's what you need. Us being together is all that matters, babe. I love you. I will always love you.

I shouldn't post this but I'm gonna because I don't get drunk anymore. I'm too old, not so old, but I feel old. That's fine. I accept my fate.

No fucking recollection of what I have just written but a voice in my head says alright you son of a bitch, that's enough sobbing from you.

Seriously if I went too much into the sad zone first off forgive me for that and also, doncha fucking pity me. I AM YOU, asshole. YOU could be ME, any time, any day. And if you were, I'd hug you. Much love. There's more to you than meets the eye.

I regret nothing.

Boi, you got to work on moar stuffs to get damoneys.

But momma, I made three new tools in less than a week.

Oh yes?

A-há. First one generates surface information from a single picture.

How's that work, boi?

Well, first you codify height of a given point as a value between 0 and 1, 0.5 being the 'middle point'. You utilize those artificial bumps and lows to calculate direction.

And you can make that fit in a picture?

You remember cartesian planes, momma?

Kind of, yes.

Well, you add a third axis to it, let's call it Z. Take X for horizontal and put that in red, Y for vertical, and put that in green. Now take Z for 'inwards' lets say, and put that in blue. And there, you have stored direction in a pixel.

Aah! So *that's* what RGB means!

Yes momma. Red, green, and blue.

And so pictures are made up of numbers?

Weeell, in a way, yes. It's color information, codified as numbers. You can transform those values to represent different things, or just to store them better. Then you can transform them back to something else when you read them.

Fascinating. What else did you maek?

I developed a little parent system for the 'surface generator' let's call it. It takes care of organizing all the different images that are used to calculate how a given material would react to lights.

And what does that do, exactly?

Well, it takes care of finding the images and setting them up automatically. So rather than looking for every image one by one and setting up the material manually, it's done with just one click.

That sounds nice.

Yes, it is. And now I just finished another tool which can be used to mix those generated materials together. So basically, you can take a couple of pictures, turn them into materials, then mix them together in weird ways to make a third.

Okay, now wait a second boi. What's all this for again?

3D graphics, momma.

Oh, you can print fancy stuffs with that, rite? Then mass-produce plastic utensils like them sina peoples? Boi, that smells of damoneys!

Eh, I don't know if the chinesse use industrial 3D printers to make things, but that's something to google later... what I'd search for right now is how much printing would actually cost.

Maybe we could buy one.

I don't think we have enough damoneys for that, momma.

We should saev! Start family business! Your father is old, I want him to retire. He could if you made moar damoneys. You're still young and have computer brains, you can do stuffs.

I'm doing all I can, momma.

Yes. Be good boi, get damoneys.

Yes, momma. Luv you, momma.

Game: In order to play offline single-player, you must create an account!

Me: Noe *UNINSTALLS*

I have no fucking idea what in the name of Mary's tits happened with video games in the last twenty years but it's obvious to me that we're way beyond the point of no return here, folks.

There is no way to salvage the dignity of the industry anymore. It's just done. I look through stuff indies put out and all I can think off is why did you even go to college if this level of mediocrity is all you have to show for it, you fucking disappointment.

Also, these pieces of shit can't even write a decent description yet they still think that somehow their dumbass jerkoff story that a goddamn five year old could tell with more flair is what carries the game; NO ONE is invested in your generic stupid little ripoff story you fucking lifelong wanker. Learn some proper use of language and try composing something coherent first because you build sentences with the grace of a fucking preschooler.

Oh, and how could I forget: the innovators. Those who develop 'innovative gameplay' experiences; God bless these delusional assfaces who seem to think dumbass gimmicks running contrary to common fucking sense is somehow more fun than something the player can expect or even understand without ten hours of unskippable tutorials.

Now, graphic monkeys get a pass from eating my virulent defecation simply because of the fact that they tend towards having admirable artistic skill, but that's where the compliments end. All of this pretty set dressing yet you haven't optimized shit you fucking moron. You don't need a million verts for a brickwall, learn some goddamn resource managing you little RTX-fueled prick.

Anyone who cares about the topic has heard the gospel on 'micro' transactions and gambling already, so I'll spare you that part. Here's to all the horseshit sniffing cunts who advertise free to play then proceed to shove a fistful of premium, 20% off, limited-time only gemstones and crystrals up your mother fucking butthole, I will murder your entire family with the +10 Enchanted Obsidian Battleaxe of Premature Ejaculation that I got from the cash shop earlier this month during the summer sale: Pay to WIN, mother fucker.

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In summary: fuck this shit, I'll return to drinking and cocaine.

So a friend posts a picture with no caption and it immediately gets the "potentially sensitive content" prompt. She's the epitome of promise I won't get too political/couple pints later so I assume it's something to do with spicy quotes or denouncing police brutality and shit.

Well, it wasn't. It was a cock. A big, thick, black cock -- and a pierced cock to boot. Not just one little ring at the tip either, the entire fucking thing. It was pierced dick and balls: rings, studs, bars, everything.

I never felt so sick in my entire fucking life. Dude why, why would you ever get perforations on your mother fucking cock. I bet son of a bitch got so much added weight on his meat the mere act of getting hard enough to fuck requires a considerable amount of added effort.

Also what if that shit gets infected, are you risking that? An infection on your mother fucking cock, out of all places to get an infection? Bitch noe. Fucking gross.

So I tell her dude, what the fuck. She says why doncha get mods like these. And I said fucking disgusting. I couldn't get a one hundred and forty-five degree erection with fifteen fucking metal pieces hanging from my Johnson, forget about it.

But then it got real. Because she follows up with no way yours gets up, and so I am forced to dixpix. But if I'm going to set the record straight I gotta do it with style. I named my cock Saint Peter when I was five years old so add in a picture of the vatican in the background and the caption 'Basilica o' ma deek' for a little flavour. And of course, I bend forwards a little just to show off that I can in fact use the tip to scratch my fucking navel.

I send this to her and she's like ok, let's stop talking about your penis. And I'm like no, you asked for 100% 7alal meat now you'll bear the consequences. She replies with laughing emoji and blocks me.

So alright kids, what did we learn today? Don't smoke crack and drink obviously, but also don't dixpix to your friends because they will not forgive you.

Also !dev btw.

+Alright, so why can't I just write the shader in GLSL?

-You can actually, but then we wouldn't be able to preview it in viewport which is a downright pain in the ass.

+Okay, fair enough: nodes it is. Aaah, might not even be all that bad.

* 20 minutes later *

PLEASE SEND HELP

So here's something: most of what I do is develop tools for speeding up production and organize projects rather than directly work on the project itself.

And you know it's kind of like the the Xzibit inception meme and I can't possibly be the first one to draw this comparison. I mean yaa mang I heard yous into developing software, so I developed software to help you develop software.

I really am wondering, can I actually call this DevOps? Would that be technically true? I mean it's just a dumbass fancy term put in place of "i avtomat my shit" and I don't care for it, but if it looks good on a resume then it looks good on a mother fucking resume.

Like I'm seeing how swapping "generalist programmer" for "*DevOps Specialist*" would get those HR panties wet. Aaah, I can almost taste damoneys!

!dev BUT totally a rant.

And so I interrupt the usual :/ stuff to bring up something serious.

You see, I don't care for stressing how by some legal definitions I count as a refugee; even if my life was a hard one, and it isn't, I wouldn't play by claims of victimhood -- there isn't much else than disgrace in doing so.

I'm proud of my heritage, I believe most of my folk are; we lost our country but not our dignity. So I would normally avoid bringing this up and just let people talk the usual smack. Let 'em be ignorant if so they choose, I'm not about giving you the sob story.

However, ever since I've already seen one too many people talk the shit out of their bottomless arse regarding the current situation, I feel obliged to tell them three things:

1) Fuck you.
2) This is not political.
3) It's a humanitarian issue.

Bitch and disagree if you want because I care this much. A racist regime is undefendable, if you're so desperate to prove your skills at being a fuckwad apologist though then go ahead and give it your best shot, I'll get a good fucking laugh out of your dumbass.

And so there, I said it. You can now --s the rant if your asscrack burns.

For further reading, here's a report:
https://pastebin.com/4QsyBmjs

Victory to Palestine.

MISSILE MAKER

TIGHT AS FUCK STRUCTS
SINGLE ALLOCATION
ONE POINTER TO RULE THEM ALL
TOP OF THE WORLD BITCH

"There is no guarantee that it'll work" BUT: "I know of no platform where it doesn't". A-há! You mother fucking pedantic schmuck!

I swear man, I don't know what's up with the gang but we SERIOUSLY need to learn better communication. Because EVERY time we KNOW that there is a slim chance of failure we take too long focusing on that, and too little to none clarifying that we've NEVER ACTUALLY SEEN IT HAPPEN!

It's like yeah, whenever someone asks a simple question just spend two hours explaining some obscure corner case that's a bitch and a half to deal with, y'know, just to get anyone paying attention completely on edge about this shit... and then simply forget to let them know this is entirely a NON-ISSUE on 90% of hardware. Isn't that an AMAZING idea?

Like goddamn, no wonder people decide time and time again it's better to just not think about it. I'll code high as fuck to achive true high-level programming, so someone fetch me my crackpipe cause I have data structures to fuck with.

Ah, so solving collisions on a hash table isn't all that complex, then?

*linear probing utterly wrecks performace*

Well, shit. Guess I got too cocky. Mmmm, what's this about chaning nodes like a fucking knobhead? Meh, if it works it works. And I can make it as big as I want to!

*cache misses intensify*

Nonono... fuck that. You can keep your ugly-ass linked lists. Man, this shit is taking me nowhere. Guess I'll take a nap and come back to it fresh.

Insomnia brain: dude, what if you had a standard array per table index and just popped next from like, a fucking stack?

Sleepy me: but wouldn't that mean extra memory usage?

Insomnia brain: yeah but you can allocate that into one big block as opposed to having some fragmented pointer to whatever the random fuck location piece of shit.

Sleepy me: and what if we have multiple collisions to the same table index? I'd have to resize and copy way too often...

Insomnia brain: mother fucker just do { x=((uint) *key)+1; x*=x; idex+=x+y; y+=1; } while(*key++); idex%=table_size; and you're good to go.

*me jumps out of bed*

Why you son of a fucking bitch, now I have to run tests!

AAAH FUCK
GCC WHY HAVE YOU BETRAYED ME?!

WHY WON'T YOU LET ME INITIALIZE A GODDAMN STRUCT YOU MONUMENTAL SON OF A FUCKING BITCH?

YOU WANT ME TO MEMSET THIS SHIT? IS THAT IT?

WELL YOU CAN SHOVE A MEMSET UP YOUR FUCKING ASS. NOW SPEAD 'EM -- I'M GETTING TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS.

Do you ever ABSOLUTELY lose your FUCKING MIND over suddenly realizing a big wall of code YOUR ENTIRE operation runs on may or MAY NOT be UTTERLY WASTEFUL?!

Like, perhaps you did your homework. You tested ALL the thing that came to mind. Worked out edge cases. Ironed out the mistakes. Tested some more. All runs fine, all runs fast, life is good.

BUT THEN: ten months later, you're learning some more about the hardware or what have you, and the thought crosses your mind that THIS and THAT could mean your stupid fucking code isn't quite as good? MAYBE it has a FATAL flaw which could BREAK FUCKING EVERYTHING?

ARRRHGHGHGH FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD WITH THIS SHIT

The mother fucking ASCII snowfall.

WELL, everyday I know a little less. C was my first language and I'm only NOW realizing this works.

typedef struct TEST_S {
int x;
} TEST;

TEST T[10]={0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9};
for(TEST* t=T+0; t<T+10; t++)
{ print("%d", t->x); }

Like fuck me, it's just so obvious. You mean to tell me ALL THIS TIME I could've looped through without using an additional var for the index and NO ONE told me?!

Really hope this is one of those "NOPE you really don't" situations where I find myself discovering why something *possible* is still a stupid idea. WELL, is it?

hey guise wanna cee me latestest projexx?

100% STRINGS
QUALITY PY FUCKERY
POWERED BY GCC
COMPILES MY FUCKING SHIT

KVNSLRAT

$:RAMBLIN;>

So do you guys ever like fucking put up a safety check before shoving input down the pipes or is that against clean code, eh?

Ah, but don't get me wrong, what I mean to say is if you gave half a shit about security then you would be doing that at least. You don't. Lack of whatever the highestlevel kindergarten hand-jobbing fucklang would not be even remotely problematic to you if that wasn't what's actually going on here, lazy as fuck blaming a language for your own overtly masturbatory tendencies.

I'll do you the favor of willfully ignoring the fact that all that avtomat bullshit your "safety" depends on HAS to be implemented at some point and most likely by a mother fucking jerkoff beating his meat at the speed of light. But I could still try and ram my dick way further up your asshole, and I will.

And by the way, when was the last time you exploited a weakness in someone else's code to cause HARM to a system? Have YOU ever done that? Or rather, do YOU even KNOW how to do that? Eh, eh, come back, don't you fucking check wikipedia. You sit down right the fuck here and tell ME off the top of your head, step by step, how in the fuck you'd begin to just __TRY__ and do that. Can you? I really am curious now. Do YOU know ANYTHING about security? Which safety measures have YOU implemented? SHOW ME, YOU FUCK. Educate me IF you're capable, by all means... or shut your stinking hole already.

Because see, that's the thing -- I don't know JACKSHIT about that. And THAT'S why you don't catch me continually ejaculating dumbass textbook warnings about shit I don't even understand. But anyhow, time to just fucking go around telling you wankers how your shit blows based on my dumb fucking superstitious ignorance so you can fullthrottle my fucking cock. Goddamn sexually desecrate your headless fucking corpse sideways and upside-down if you can't do high and low cause I go both ways BITCH.

I rest my case.

Passion, it is not emotion but willingness, for suffering if we are to be precise; a state of mind not easily escaped -- for love to anyhow do what I profoundly do not want.

Dear, what we ought to is sit down every other evening by lights of old lebanese red, yet we burn our brains on machines rather than hash; the joint burns out and so do we, as a fresh soul quietly awaits it's turn to lay claim on my withered throne.

And for all my claims to prestige and glory, only a dull, desiccated husk is left for the laurels and pedestals. Bygone are the brightest of years, spent for naught but weightless figures in lieu of thrills that whichever way were all at last found wanting.

The point I'm trying to make is: Tomorrow, AND tomorrow, AND tomorrow...

Stupid, gimmicky feature absolutely no one asked for: actively being worked on.

Basic functionality that's been lacking for years: LEL WHO CARES

I have a file manager that's only halfway done. While I'm working on it, I'm using the features it already has to create files for other parts of the project so I don't waste like 30 seconds copy-pasting the usual boilerplate. Totally reasonable.

Now, there is no delete button in the barebones UI. There is a function for deleting files or entire directories, I can call these manually by printing, of all things. $:NUKE DIR;> is weird enough that I wouldn't write it by accident. But there is no buttons for these things. Because there is no checking, no "are you sure" type safeguard. And I don't trust myself to remember.

There IS one safeguard however. The manager will refuse to delete a folder identified as the source directory of a project. But everything INSIDE /src/ is fair game. And so I realize, this a stupid safeguard that does nothing. I can't accidentally delete the whole folder but I can accidentally delete each subfolder one by one.

So I disable deleting of files through the manager until I figure this out. It's not hard. I could just sneak a getch in there and call it a day. But I need the UI to be painfully obvious about what it's doing before it does anything, else I will screw myself over unknwingly at one point or another. It has happened before.

Meanwhile I'm working on three other fucking tasks and my brain is spaghetti. Commit message reads utter fucking mess, disdain for python has increased. I'm slowly hating it more and more. I need a minimal python version so I can build the build system. I need the build system to compile the manager. I need the manager to not go crazy shuffling libraries and listing files. But the manager isn't complete. Back to step one.

This is very much an endless, hardcoded depedency cycle until at least one piece is finished. Break the wheel. Or rather this monolithic piece of shit. I've gone rogue. No syntax highlighting and haven't checked documentation in weeks. I somehow know how all of this works and at the same time I don't. I wrote it, and THERE IS a function for that, I just can't find it. Debugger says error @KVNSL.RUN but I know it's actually buried deep within the asscracks of draw. One hack saved me five minutes of thinking through the implementation and now I am paying the price.

$:ADDITEM TEST;> but the linewrap is broken. Again. I am drawing out of bounds. I know what's the problem, let me scroll for five minutes real quick so I can copy paste this ridiculous fix from an unrelated file I forgot about until now. How do you like that, you fuck. Look, there's that call I commented six weeks ago in case the new system was worse, maybe I haven't decided yet, except I have. I should delete it but I'm leaving it there for posterity. Look son, that's the useless fucking zombie method your grandad was too much of a wanker to get rid of, still there to this day.

Breaktime. Eat, drink. Random find a video of myself fucked on rum and alkokayine holding an electric guitar with my knees and pulling on the broken strings to produce artsy noise as I convulse on the floor in a den of evil. Huh. Guess I used to be pretty fucking rock n roll. But does that make me a literal rockstar programmer I don't fucking think so. Rockstar is a weird, corny-ass language. Eighties are greasy and I prefer my shit mid colon. This is not making a lot of sense, and I have not misplaced my pills again. I don't think so.

More likely I'm just losing my mind here. So tired I can't sleep. Or so bored entertainment isn't entertaining. About a month since I turned 27. Check devrant before bed. Spicy content. Satisfaction.

Lie in bed. My code is nightmare fuel and it chases me in my dreams. Finish this feature before venturing off into the goblins cave, there is a genderfluid mustardbag cryptogargle baggle baggle at line 8 through your fucking momma; critical failure. Last night you did me so dirty soon as I ran downstairs it was thirty wide pages worth of endless turdlicking logs, the cache you flushed, unexpected EOF but no sweat it's just a bad escape\\. But I'll always be your slave keyboard monkey, bitch. Now come fix my leaks, you fuck.

*18 year old me VS computer lab teacher*

So, have you decided on a project?

Uh, I'm gonna draw some sprites and make them kill each other

That's not a good project

You said we could pick anything we wanted?

Yeah.

Well, that's what I want to work on.

I don't like it... how about a webpage?

Hmmm, how about no?

You'll fail this class

Fine by me.

ARRRHHGHGHGHHG!! JUST DECIDE ON A PROJECT AND GET TO WORK!

*a month later*

And so, have you decided on a project?

Oh yes, I hacked this together over the last couple weeks.

WHAT IS THAT?!

Oh, that's a templar. He commits mass genocide in the name of God.

I TOLD YOU to work on a project!

A-há, you said I could work on anything I wanted.

Yes, but not this.

What's wrong with it? It's just a game.

I don't like it, pick something else.

Wait. You want me to CHOOSE what I want to work on or you're going to pick the project for me?

You're SUPPOSED to pick your own project!

Well, you already had me do silly cutesy webpages for two years in a row. How about I do something a little bit more metal this time around?

I swear to God, you'll fail this class

Alright, alright.

*next week*

And so? Have you decided yet?

Yes! I added some archers and walls yesterday, look at the arrows fly!

...

Miss?

YOU'LL FAIL THIS CLASS IF YOU KEEP IT UP

Keep what up? Programming?

NO, WASTING MY TIME

Fine. What do YOU want me to do?

Anything you want... just decide on a project already!

But I did... I want to work on this...

That's NOT a good project

Then I can't work on what I want

Yes you can. Just pick another project!

Mmm... something 3D with Unity, maybe?

No

How about a rogue clone?

NO

WELL, then I CANT work on what I want. You say I can, but you don't like ANY of the projects I pick. *i was kinda crying here*

You CAN work on whatever you want, just MAKE A WEBPAGE!

*and next week*

Please tell me you've started an ACTUAL project already...

YES

Can I see it?

NO

You're still writing that stupid game, aren't you?

... YES

*sighs* alright, have it your way. But remove the blood spurts, please.

YES, OF COURSE. THANK YOU MISS.

*did NOT remove the blood spurts*
*totally FAILED that class*
*dropped highschool altogether*

Me today, unemployed: WORTH IT.