AboutSecretly Johnny Sins.
SkillsI'm an all-around guy, I can do everything but my specialties are anal, fisting, anal fisting, double-dicking (don't ask me how), double anal fisting, and reverse gangbangs.
Joined devRant on 10/19/2018
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That guy who said his greatest weakness is perfectionism. It's a dumb question to begin with, thank god I refused to ask it and let my partner ask it himself. It's not my partner's fault though, big corp still thought this was not a cliché question that would get a cliché answer at all.
On the other hand, the worst interview partners I had were some guys who overreacted when I asked the interviewee if he worked on any personal projects. They panicked as if I just confessed to a mass murder. They started getting wimpy and shit in front of the kid saying "no, no, no, that's not required" followed with some shaming "rutee asked that because rutee does that" in a tone like I was trying to dominate or look exceptional because I have personal projects.
I explained to them as soon as the interviewee is gone that I asked that question to assess their enthusiasm with development and to see if they would be easy to teach or if they would just collect paychecks like most of the team are already doing. IT'S NOT A REQUIREMENT. Jesus Christ, those two panicked because neither of them have done shit in their lives, approaching their 30's still sucking at SQL. All of a sudden I'm the villain who thinks I'm too smart for everybody. All they asked is "do you like outings", "where do you want to go" which is so fucking stupid. You're not even hiring the kid yet. Not only are the questions irrelevant, you're just keeping someone's hopes up, and showing everyone that you shouldn't have been hired yourself. Zero technical or logic questions. I should have asked who their favorite celebrity is.
Same project earned nothing because they kept hiring for "culture fit" AKA "does this guy make jokes" instead of actual skills and attitude. We even had senior developers who can't fucking code. It was a headache trying to teach someone who wants their hand held all the time and they still haven't figured out that there's a flaw in the way they hire.14
The good thing about the 120+ modules with sudden changes is that I created them all and I follow the fucking standard so I just have to sed the living shit out of it, dump them all into the architecture, and re-run.
The annoying part is applying those changes to the old modules done by other people who use Word or some shit as editors. Yes, it's Python and the indentations are inconsistent. I shared my scripts to the other developer that I like because he too, follows the standards.
"Why don't you just replace the tabs with spaces?" It doesn't fucking work like that. Like I said in a rant a few months ago, the indentations are inconsistent and 4 spaces IN THESE SCRIPTS doesn't always equal to 1 tab.
"You can setup your editor so you can still use tabs and it would convert it to 4 spaces." READ. GODDAMNIT, READ. The scripts were already done, by someone else, using whatever demonic editor they were using. I can't go back in time and teach them that, I have my limitations.
"That wouldn't compile in Python at all." Get out of College. Work with different people who use different editors and different versions. Get the fuck out of your shell and your narrow-minded fuckhole. It happens, as a lot of peole have said in the previous rant.
Jesus Christ, shut the fuck up and let people rant. Stop dumping your stupid IQ levels in the comments. The only comments I would appreciate right now are the ones that actually help. If you didn't read the fucking rant in its entirety and the only experience you have is your College thesis and some hipster hackathon, shut up, hold your breath, and fucking die.
"I have years of experience in this and that, that should never happen." I don't give a fuck. It's happening right now. I can't imagine my way out of real life problems. Hand over the mushrooms.
Our BA vanished last Monday so I guess I'm a BA now. We were loaded with tasks of around 120+ modules. It's nothing too hard though but since I'll be leaving soon, my colleague and I agreed that it would be better if I work on these tasks and he will focus on the one that might take a few weeks to complete.
These 120+ modules, they are all very easy and straightforward so aside from the boredom I'd have to endure this week, there isn't much to annoy me except for the fucking requirements. All the BA has to do is copy/paste the shit that the data scientists gave her. At this point, there's no more translation, she's just literally copying shit into a spreadsheet and even that she can't fucking do. I think our CTO had just given up and asked the data scientists to give us the file instead.
Here's the amazing part, we've already started on the tasks using her requirements. I had to start all over again using the new file from the data scientists. Why?
1. Duplicate module names, JUST THE NAMES, the patterns are different so you can't just delete one of them but at the same time, you can't just make shit up for the name because otherwise, the architecture will not recognize it and you will die.
2. Confused patterns. She would have pattern1 contain pattern2's patterns and vice versa. How can you even fail this shit? You are literally copy/pasting and even that, you can't do right.
3. Typos. This is a tricky one because some of the modules scan some notes. People make typos in these notes. For example, she would have "buisness" in there and it's a gloryhole mindfuck what to do with this. You can't just correct the misspelling because they could be genuinely trying to catch that misspelling.
When I ask for clarifications from the CTO, he would say "let's stick to what we have now". Well, okay. That's what I'll do and you're all gonna have to deal with "what I've done now" next week, when I'm not here anymore.
Why ask the CTO? Because the gal can't think for herself and doesn't know what she's doing. She would either ping the boss to spoonfeed her (where he would respond with "use your judgment", the guy is exhausted, I get it. Or she would tell you to delete it instead. Come validation day and voila, wrong requirements, do it again, blah blah blah. The boss knows about this and has already given up on his life. Seriously, even my colleague said he's suffering working with this bitch.
Now I'm starting all over again and talking directly to the data scientists as requested by the boss himself. Guess what? They're changing the format again so I'm not fucking moving. I just finished all the modules and the only reason why I'm not ditching these tasks is because I actually like the other developer and I know he will be the one to suffer for this shit when I'm gone.
The guy's just fucking miserable. A day after he told me he wants to join the company outing because the never-ending requirement changes is stressing him out, I was told about my new assignment to another project. More weights for his cross, I guess.
Two more days. Just two more days and I'll have a fresh new hell to endure.10
Enlighten me on this one 'cause I might be too exhausted to make sense out of this. I booked a car and of course, there's an app. The app shows the pick-up and drop-off location.
The driver asked "Where are we going?" I didn't answer because IT'S RIGHT THERE! He asked again. I looked at his phone and asked him "Isn't it right there?" He said, "Yes but it's for security purposes." You know, like it's a "duh" moment when he's the only driver that ever asked me this. Most of them just use me as Waze on the way.
Jesus Christ, do I look like an ax murderer to you? Even before he stopped, I was waving in front of him to say "stop right here". He continued several feet away from the pick-up location and I had to chase his car.
It's yet another barcode moment. Why do you even use an app you don't believe in? The fuck if this one asks for a birth certificate and certificate of residency.
I get the point of some basic bitches, some people enter the wrong location and that's the passenger's fault. You don't try/catch that shit. He could get robbed by a "pretend passenger"? Again, just like the barcode incident, what are the chances that I know which pick-up location, plate number, and name. Not saying it's impossible but dear god, stop making me do all these apps' jobs. Now I'm Waze, a barcode scanner + POS system, and a car booking app.
Now I actually want to rob this guy. He could be this paranoid because he owns a few pyramids in Egypt.
Lol, just now, two passengers came in and he asked "So the two of you, huh?" NO. That's the ghost of her dead mother, can you see her?16
Finished with the interview for the new project. It's my last week in the current one. I felt good after the interview. It went really well and the first time I actually thought I know something.
That made me think of the years I wasted in other companies. I learned more in the first three months with this start-up project than I did in the last six years with multinational companies. I wish I didn't give into the prestige or some stupid brag rights of working with big names. They mean nothing and I didn't feel like an actual developer until now.
The interviewer is an American, thank god for the lack of hard or curly accents. Finally, someone I can talk to without the additional stress of "What the fuck are you even saying right now?" No random dogs barking in the background. No children crying or silverwares clanking. No made-up words. No interdimensional modes of communication as if you're talking to someone through a Ouija board. The conversation flows like in a casual date with a non-awkward specie.
I fucking love it. I'm not gonna say I'm excited because awful shit always happens as soon as I say that.8
Anyone else fucking around with IBM Watson's "Natural Language Understanding"? I'm learning and interested to see what people do with it on their free time. I'm experimenting with the combination below and would appreciate some input:
- Web scraper to get unstructured data (stories, reports, confessions, etc.) from different websites
- Kaggle as source for some structured data and cross-validation for the info extracted from the item above
- HBase to gather all this shit
- Now, this IBM Watson shit to get more insights that my puny little brain couldn't come up with on its own and to improve some patterns used for the extraction
A custom targeted model is used in our current project and I want to learn how to do all of that in detail. I decided to try out the demo and use it on a personal project. Funny how John Wayne Gacy's story scores 50/50 of Joy and Anger in Emotion. I know there's not enough sources and it's a fucking demo. I just found it amusing so calm your needy tits. I've only discovered fire and went "ugugu gaga!", I'm not in the moon yet.
Anyway, I thought I'd try pasting one of my lengthy rants in there, and boy, would I have fun building a custom model for this convoluted shit brain. It made me think about bots. How polite and how "straight" their personalities are.
If I were to make something to respond to the messages from people who know me, they'd be instantly suspicious because just look at the results below. I'd get something more predictable if I used a normal bot. I can't imagine how all of these exist in one shitpost. Why?
This is gonna be fun.
I'm rambling again, good night.2
I hate it when people invent some bullshit hacker story to look cool and expect everyone here to be stupid enough to believe it. It's even more annoying when you know where those people are from and how the same people in that country don't give a fuck about anything except getting food to survive. Then you look at the profiles and it's all made-up humble brag stories about shit that never happened. Then you see a few guys calling the person out on his/her bullshit only to get their comments "hidden" later.
Sure, the police would break into your place and throw you in prison for hacking. Suuuure, some random person thought you were a hacker and would run into the police. I mean people are getting robbed in this country and no one goes to prison but SURE, SUUUUURE. Suuuuuuuure, hackerman. Hackidy-hackidy-hack. What's next, you're a schizo and you hate people? Do you have a fucking start-up now? How fucking original. What a fucking asperger, anti-social, unicorn, poseidon fuck you are. You must be really special.
Fucking hate the pretentious little fucks in this country. This is why you're all poor, deluded pieces of shit. Live in the real world. How untalented and ugly can you be to do dumb shit like this for a few upvotes? This is the same internet behavior as the losers I know in real life. Development is not all about hacking and if you really are as elite as you say you are, you wouldn't be posting all your "evil hacking stories" in the first place.
Peasants, peasants everywhere. I hate liars. I fucking hate them. What angers me the most is the fact that I do respect some of the people here and this kind of bullshit is an insult to their intelligence.
Whatever, people will lie and we can't do shit about that. I just wanted to vent. Drama-rama hackidy-hack-hack.
My colleague who works from home was sharing his screen with me and a boss. The notification "<some dude's name> is playing Dota Underlords" in the middle of the presentation.
Now I'm here wondering if it's the right time to ask for gaming laptop specifications.25
I want to strangle someone but I can't decide who the lucky person would be. In less than two weeks, I'll be in the company for six months and I still haven't gotten my feedback. I have an interview with the CEO of another project this week and I don't know what to think about it. I know some of you are tired of me bitching about the same shit all over again but I just really want to vent out the frustration.
Are they ditching me? Is this interview a sign that the current project did not like me and now they're trying to see if someone else would take me? No need to answer those questions, by the way. Imagine me talking to myself, rocking back and forth, while holding a dead kitten on the bench. Occasionally, I would scream gibberish to a bunch of kids.
Damn, I want to murder someone. I know it's not set in stone that life will be shit but my brain is not programmed to daydream the bright future. All I can think of is how I'm gonna give them hell if they suddenly decided to fire me. I will report your ass to the department of labor and I will make you famous. Then I will bazooka all your buildings and eat your children's toes.
For my final act, I will microwave my own shit in the office together with some spoons. That is the worst, bitches, you better give me some good news this week or bathe in my scat.
Non-dev activities. Any of you guys into diving?
I have some extra cash for a new hobby after cutting off some parasites. I'm also an hour plane ride away from some islands - coral reefs, world war shipwrecks, and all that shit.
I don't know shit about cameras, especially underwater ones so any tips on which one to get is appreciated. Don't worry, I will not pollute the view with me carrying gadgets all the time. I just want to record a few minutes of video I can look at when I'm back in the jungle and spend the rest of the day in silence.
Where have you done this activity before? It sounds like a peaceful one being underwater. I already contacted an instructor so I don't accidentally swallow the tank and die a mystery.
The instructor I'm referring to is for scuba diving. I also read about freediving but I don't even know how to swim so that shit can come later.15
This is gonna make me sound like an asshole (I already am) but I have to get it out. Have you ever gone out of your cave, saw real people, and thought "Damn, most people are ugly"? Real talk, no sugar-coating "the beauty is in the eye of the beholder" shit. Just that mean thought entering your brain and then you feel like shit for even thinking about it. But you can't help it, it's your brain, you react to things you see. If you see someone attractive, your brain reacts too.
I was in the office today and the HR apologized for the noise because they will be handling their interviews in the meeting room there. The areas setup is: my workstation, sofa, pantry. I got up to get some coffee and saw a bunch of applicants sitting on the sofa and some other chairs. All of a sudden, I find myself in the middle of these people and thought "What has become of this field".
Yes, yes, yes. Looks aren't relevant to your programming skills and shit like that but it's just a fucking thought, okay? I can't control it, you jellybean. And then I walked back to my workstation, the walk of shame. They were all looking at me like I'm about to get my head chopped off for being a little shit.
I feel like they can read my thoughts. So I sat there staring at the monitor thinking, "What the fuck is wrong with me? Why I am so evil?" Then I saw the attractive HR again and it was relieving. It's like "This is the way it should be. This is the way it should have always been!"
Whatever. You don't know me. Get offended all you want. Fuck. I hate myself.24
Me: *doesn't get feedback on my employment regularization status for more than 5 months*
Me: *signs up to job search apps*
Company: "Yo, yo, yo. The CEO from this new project wants to talk to you."
Me: *looks for new jobs anyway*
No money, no honey. No feedback, no booty, tutti frutti booty shitty rutee.14
I got really sick yesterday from lack of sleep for the past two weeks. Sick as in high fever like my blankets are getting ironed by my body, intense headache, vomitting, and yet too weak to buy medicine.
Then I received a message from my brother. "Do you think you can get a loan? There's a lot here in the province we want to buy it with our ourside money." Translation (passive aggressive): outside money = our money that you haven't given us yet.
He's referring to the allowance I give to my parents. My mother took a loan that I already refused to give a shit about. My brother being the hero took a loan and decided it's "our" debt now. Now he's sending me these texts like I owe him shit.
The same brother didn't help me when I was depressed and unemployed. I literally had to push myself to afford medication and kick myself in the ass to find another job in order to survive. I also told him the past few months that I can't send the allowance these days because I'm spending them on medication. Of course, this is me thinking maybe he's a decent person afterall. But no, every few weeks, I'd receive a fucking text asking for money with the same "hint" about "our" loan.
This time I really don't give a fuck anymore. These people don't care about me, all they care about is money. A loan, seriously? Why would you take a loan to buy something you can't afford when you're already blacklisted from the banks for not paying your credit? Am I supposed to fucking follow your footsteps? Who's to say that you will help me get out of the rut if shit hits the pan? You can't even sort your own life out and loan me one peso when I needed it. All you do is post motivational deluded bullshit on Facebook.
I told him "Technically, I don't owe you anything. It's not my fault you're in debt and I don't have to suffer the consequences of your own choices. You always come to me when you need money and I'm alone when I'm in trouble. You already know I'm depressed and I'm doing everything I can to get better. I know you'll never understand this but you're the main source of my stress and I feel like killing myself every time I hear from you. I'm gonna prioritize my mental health this time, I don't want to stay in touch anymore."
I blocked him, his wife, now I'm deleting messenger and soon, I will change my number. By the way, "I feel like killing myself" is an asshole thing to say. It's my way of fighting back his demands and if the try harassing me again, I'd have enough evidence to fight back (records from mental institutiona and their constant harassment).
Looks like I have extra cash now. Fuck you. You can cry knowing you have no more cash cow, you piece of shit. Stop spending what you don't have, Instagram boi, and wash your face.13
I went to the restaurant to buy food, easy, right? I sat on the chair to wait for my order. What can possibly go wrong? Well, the chair leaned backwards and I fell. How? It turns out the chair has a missing foot and yet it's placed right there in the waiting area, standing proud like there's nothing wrong. I GUESS IT'S MY FAULT FOR NOT INSPECTING EVERYTHING THAT SHOULD JUST WORK.
Me being psychotic just laughed about it. It's pretty funny, someone falling off a chair, haha. How can you possibly not blow up in anger if you can't delude yourself into thinking that some shit is funny. I didn't laugh though. I kept a straight face and wondered what happened. A few men assisted me to get up and started looking at the cashier wondering why there's a broken chair still placed where customers are supposed to sit.
And there he was, the paragon of retardation, the first Adam that Satan ignored because he's way too stupid for a forbidden apple to fix. He innocently asked, "Huh?" Then the owner came screaming at him, "Why is that chair still there?! You already know it's broken!"
No apology from the dumbass, just his signature "I don't know what's happening, I'm a dumbass" look. Why does this guy turn my hidden laugh into rage? Well, he's done so many stupid things, I don't even know why he's still there. Again, it's the smallest things you can't possibly get wrong. Once, I ordered two sticks of barbecue and one rice. Very clear, I said it in his native language too. He came back with two orders of barbecue and rice. I politely corrected him and he looked irritated and said, "Because you said two orders". I said no, that's not what I said. I didn't argue anymore, it's a waste of time. I've ordered the same from different cashiers and they all got it right.
How can you even explain anything to these people in a way that they would understand? There's just no way. Some people have such low IQs that you can't put them anywhere and they say everyone can code, this little shit can't even understand a simple sentence in his native language. Let's say you are not as smart as the average person, maybe you can work harder, do some manual labor (then again, you might end up killing someone else this way), become useful in some way. Is that what happens these days? No, the same dumb people are also lazy and have a fucking attitude.
Why? What is your use? It sounds mean but you gotta have something positive about you. When you're mad ugly, lazy, and have a bad attitude, what is the point of your existence? Obviously, you're not helping anybody. You're making their lives worse. That restaurant has probably lost a lot of customers because of you. You can't leave quality offsprings on the planet as well because there is nothing good they can inherit from your genes and I can bet my soul, you won't find a partner to possibly cancel all that shit out.
I'm tired of this place. All I want is one day of peace, a break from stupid. First, I have to validate a fucking barcode, now I have to check every fucking chair too? Don't get me started on missed orders. These fuckers have the audacity to blame you for missed orders.
You ordered pancakes? Let me forget to put butter and syrup there. There you go, BREAD. Well, you should have scoured through all your orders to make sure you have every small piece in there.
Oh, you want some pasta? Let me deliver that with no fork, EAT IT WITH YOUR HANDS, YOU ANIMAL. Now that you checked your order and found there's no fork in there, oops, nothing I can do about it.
The population is so fucking stupid that if the Minecraft raids were a thing, I'd enter every fucking village cursed and help out in wiping away its population. It's no wonder so many people here are poor. The few who manage to get out of poverty are constantly pulled down by these lazy entitled fucks who think people should do their jobs for them because it's too fucking hard.
Then they get shamed for leaving their countries, well can you blame them? Facing this kind of stress for every human interaction, whose brain wouldn't deteriorate? I used to never think about leaving this place because I earn enough but I just can't live here anymore without turning into a serial killer. I'm just exhausted from all the rage. It never ends.
You can shove your stoicism advice up your ass unless you've lived here. And yes, I don't give a fuck if your life was worse or some other countries have it worse. I just came here to let this shit out before I will blow up.15
Lol. Why do you even bother going to school when you know you're gonna be a ten-dollar ho? This is, again, some petty shit amplifed by my sleepless brain.
Lunch time, lots of people in the line. Two high school girls bought two sundaes. The cashier gives it to them and they start practicing their blowjob skills on that imaginary cum-dripping fellatio sundae and didn't get the fuck out of the line while everyone is waiting.
Judgmental brain begins scanning and analyzing the creatures..
- 13 years old and already morbidly obese.
- Gums darker than my soul.
- Facial skin so rough, would pass for a sandpaper.
- Are those some mad braces or just your tartar-infested teeth?
- Screaming and laughing like pigs getting slaughtered.
- Both want to be the center of attention but neither are attractive, inside and out.
- Must have diabetes and will die by the last lick of those sundaes.
- Probably fucking a squatter fuckboi sniffing a rugby bottle.
- Must already have a sex scandal somewhere.
It's as if I communicated with them telepathically because one of them looked at me, saw my bitch face staring at them, and gently pulled her friend to the side. No words spoken.
Don't tell me these are just young girls. Most of the girls their age don't behave like a screaming cocksucker waiting to sue a desperate man for the jailbait. They are old enough to do and think of a lot of things. As a matter of fact, bored teenagers these days upload their unfappable, low quality, and shaky sex videos to Pornhub as a hobby.
Stop wasting your parents money and follow your dreams. Put that loud mouth to good use or move to the fucking side and don't get in my way.
I need to go home soon and put myself into a coma before I murder "the future and hope of this country". Ah, youth, so innocent and so goddamn inconsiderate.19
Fuck these water monkeys using the gym shower rooms.
The rooms were designed so you can't flood the toilet, sink, dressing area when you shower. The room is L-shaped and the shower room has a glass door. Somehow you still manage to mess this up. This is why I've given up on the delusion of developing foolproof solutions and found the balance between decent software and user training so they don't do stupid shit like this.
I'm trying to visualize what kind of circus you have to do to fail your ancestors like this. Do you hate them? If you have long hair and you took a shower (and I'm under the generous assumption that you're not an animal who would take a shower in public place without a towel), you can wipe your disgusting wet body in the shower room AND THEN wrap your hair with the towel. This way, you wouldn't flood the dressing area all the way to the door to the hallway and you wouldn't contaminate anyone with the melting brain juices coming out of your pores.
Dear god, this gym is so nice with the spacious bathrooms AND A HAIR DRYER in every room. The only liquid I'd be happy to see when I enter a gym bathroom is blood.. with you stabbed to death in the shower area or bleeding your ass out in the toilet.
I just don't get it. Do they wrap their bodies with the towel and let their hair drip water everywhere? Are they paranoid that someone behind the mirror would see them naked? Because it's too late for that, the mirror spreads up to the shower area. Do they hate seeing their bodies? It still doesn't make sense, you can't escape the mirror unless you avoid the room itself. Did someone's water just broke?
Fuck this brain. I couldn't get a proper sleep for several days. Nightmares keep waking me up in the middle of the night and it's so hard to go back to sleep.13
Lol. The only other developer I'm working with is a trashtalking piece of shit like me, I love it. Another awkward meeting with the BA and CTO.
BA: "I also assigned some new moduoueouullessss for rutee to werrk on. Isht the same as this and that blah blah blah." (She assigned it literally 15 minutes before the meeting.)
CTO: "So is there gonna be some code changes or can we implement the same modules completed before for this one?"
BA: "Isht justh the sh-same. Like fur exumple blah blah blah."
CTO: "No, I'm asking you and rutee. Are the requirements similar and do we need some code changes?"
Me: *tries to talk but BA keeps dominating the conversation, okay, whatevs*
BA: "Shsjskahb djskagab noe, there's no code chhhhhuange."
CTO: "No, <BA's name>. I want rutee to answer for the code."
Me: "Yes, we need to apply some changes for blah blah blah."
CTO: "Okay, sounds good."
Colleague: *messages me on Skype* "I don't get it."
Colleague: "Yeah, but what was the BA saying about this and that?"
Me: "I don't know what the fuck she's talking about. I can't even talk."
Colleague: "She's too talkative. She shouldn't be answering questions related to code anyway."
The meeting continues. Everyone agreed that some of the modules will be added to the next release. BA updates again, "So I will jushht send the updated re-choir-ments to rutee and <other dev>."
CTO: "No, no, no. We will not make any changes today." *explains again*
Me: "I'm having a headache."
Colleague: "She won't stop talking. Oh my god."
If I get fired, I totally deserve it for contributing to this but this guy's gonna miss me when I'm gone so I'm taking him with me if I can. What makes this funnier is the fact that the BA can barely speak English and has a very "curly" accent like she's gagging on some cock and my colleague is just fucking done with her since last week telling me he's "really suffering" trying to work with this chick.11
Do higher ups bullshit a peasant employee when they get bad feedback or do they just tell you straight up that the client didn't like your performance?
I ask because I've never had a bad feedback from previous employers but will all the shit going on so early in this one, this could be my first. My manager told me she received the feedback from the client last week but kept re-scheduling for me and the other developer.
Today, someone higher than my manager messaged me. The conversation was positive overall but I can't help but sense they're hiding something. He asked me to update my resume and give it him because my "current assignment is ending" and there's a new client he wants to present my profile to. He ended it with "I think you'd be the perfect fit fot this new project".
You see what I'm saying? Those words, I can't say I believe them. Maybe this is me losing days of sleep from lack of medication so I'm asking for your clear-headed and detached opinion. I feel like they're sugar-coating the fact that the client doesn't want me anymore but when I think of this, the tasks have been going slow lately. My colleague receives bug reports from his previous moduels and I get either none or I will but it always turns out it wasn't a bug.
I also noticed that the release is getting faster everyday like shit's coming to an end. I still doubt it's the project ending though because my other colleague didn't get the same message. Though to be honest, if they only need one to stay, it has to be him since he's been here for years and have more codebase to support than I do.
The message is just so vague so I texted my manager immediately asking what the shit was about and if it has anything to do with my feedback. You can bet your ass I will text her after her shift, the meeting has been long overdue and if my spidey senses are correct, I have nothing to lose.
Anyway, at least I can publish that tool I posted about a few days ago. That shit's going on my portfolio. Now I'm given time to update my resume except I wouldn't wait for this "new client" and I'll be sending that resume to companies near where I live. If for some reason my feedback was bad, I don't understand why anyone couldn't just say "yo, you suck, fuck you, get out of here" but I guess that's illegal.
Anyone of you had experience with bad feedback or getting fired? Does it go like this?17
I went to the "convenience" store today to load up my virtual card. The cashier scanned the barcode from my phone and then asked me to look at the monitor and verify the number.
I asked, "Didn't you just scan it?" I felt the veins on my head throbbing like a million tentacle cocks attacking a swarm of octopussies. God fucking damn it, I haven't had a proper sleep since last Friday and damn, those security cameras are gonna see some wild revelation if this guy's asking me to verify a fucking barcode.
Flashbacks to the time I spent in the grocery store and all the items in my cart. Should I validate the barcode on these cans of tuna as well? Oh shit, the blood on this beef makes it hard to jot down every fucking digit in the barcode. I have a pocketbook of barcodes because I'm sex freak.
He said no, not the barcode. The veins slowly crawled back to their natural state. But then he pointed to the mobile number. I asked why. He said sometimes it's wrong. I just looked at him, stared at him, waiting for his "once upon a time" story when this shit actually happened because I have never experienced someone scanning a barcode and then asking me to verify any of its related information and I've been loading up this card for years. I said nothing until he finally processed the transaction.
How the fuck can your mobile number be wrong in an app completely dependent on your mobile number? You can't even sign-up without a mobile number and every time you sign in, you use your mobile number, not your email, not your username, not your mother's maiden name, YOUR MOBILE NUMBER.
And when you access the app, it's right there, YOUR MOBILE NUMBER. And when you click "Add Money", there it is again, the face of Satan and YOUR MOBILE NUMBER. Who does this? Who? What kind of moron uses someone else's phone number, load it up, and complain "HeY, mUh TrNsXtiOn! Fck U 7/11!!!1!"
W-Who? What? WHY? No amount of sleep can cure this shit.14
The QA team lead has no sense of when to start or stop talking during a conversation. I don't think he's doing it on purpose, it's as if he's lagging, his reaction is delayed.
He will talk while someone else is talking, it doesn't matter who it is. He would stop at the same time someone stops talking and he would talk again as soon as that person starts talking so they are talking at the same time. It's like having a retarded shadow that doesn't know what to do.
The other person would always have to adjust. The meeting is just.. awkward and weird. It's just wrong. It's like Internet Explorer in human form. I think this lead shouldn't have passed QA. Maybe I should submit a bug report - failed to pick-up cues?11
You know what I like about this company and the project? No stupid mandatory online trainings. It's time-consuming, unnecessary, and full of bullshit outdated information that you would never EVER find useful in your job.2
I didn't show up on the first day. The HR I worked with was a moody pregnant piece of shit. There's a term for it that I cannot translate to English but it's when a pregnant woman hates you specifically like she would crave for a certain food during pregnancy.
The full story is they pushed my start date to the earliest possible. I spent my last day in the previous job on Friday and had to start on the new one next Monday. Monday was the start of orientation, it was supposed to be two days but they changed it to one day during the first day of orientation.
No one gave any instruction on what to do next. Monday and Tuesday should be orientation days and Wednesday is technically my first day in the actual workplace. After the orientation finished, I asked her if I have to do something or be somewhere tomorrow (Tuesday), she said no. This is after she roasted me about not submitting all my requirements which is straight out stupid because she knew I only have the weekends as break and no government office is open during weekend. She scolded me in front of some other people and I swear to god, it took a lot of strength not to punch a pregnant woman.
Anyway, as soon as Tuesday came, she emailed me asking why I didn't come to work and again, demanded I perform some magic to gather my requirements (this time, I don't know, on Monday evening?). The other HR responded to her saying she would work with me instead. The other HR is a classy beautiful woman who is clear, patient, and nice. Yeah, funny how the ugly ones have shittier attitude these days.
As soon as she has given birth, she became nice to me and all the shit. Maybe the curse has lifted and the demon baby has been delivered from the womb of Satan through the vaginal walls of hell.
I didn't give a fuck with her frequent small talks after that. Terrorize your husband, not me. I can't believe someone even fucked you when you're ugly inside and out. I saved the emails for reminiscing.17
Frugal devs, how did you learn to become frugal?
Were you raised that way or did something happen at some point in your life (unemployment, etc.) that changed you?
Do you do this to save money to buy tools for development, digital nomad lifestyle, vacation, retirement, or other reasons?
Where are you getting your datasets? A quick search sent me to Kaggle but I'm wondering if anyone here knows other sources.
Murder cases and astronomy, to be a little more specific.7
I'm learning "curses" for Python and damn, it's obvious that I did back-end most of my life. The user interface looks like someone's College thesis.
Anyway, I'm a forgetful motherfucker and my tasks often include working with different modules, databases, and architecture. Mix up my tasks with Hbase, Neo4j, ElasticSearch, and occasionally MySQL plus the never-ending requirement changes and I can not be fucked to remember my own name.
Obviously, I have a lot of folders and text files to take note of all this shit including a few scripts created on the fly to do something quick that I always end up forgetting exist and I just start creating something again from scratch.
I wanted to create a simple text-based user interface to do the following:
1. Cure cancer.
2. Battle my own Alzheimer's.
3. Fight evil forces.
4. Freeze hell.
5. Find out why my brain is like this.
Seriously, I want it to:
1. Keep track of my "quick hacks" so I can clean them up after I'm done with them. Maybe a menu item for quick hacks that adds a prefix to the script name to categorize them. Believe me, I cannot remember this on my own. My workspace looks like shit.
2. A "Modules" menu item that allows me to select which project, client, and architecture it is for. This should create the script on a specific location for that combination so everything is consistent and organized.
3. "Databases" - perform basic commands for Hbase, Neo4j, ElasticSearch, MySQL, and whatever the fuck this project uses that I haven't uncovered yet. I could just select any of those, which environment, what operation, etc.
For example, Hbase > Snapshot > Clone > Source table > Target table
4. "Regular Expressions" - generate regex from common patterns. I could enter a few phrases that I want to search for and the texts where I want to find them. Calm your tits, this will not be a full-blown shit. This is very project-specific. I will not cure regex cancer for the Earth.
5. "Formulas" - or library? A bunch of formulas I used, forgotten, and then had to use again. For example, getting the Levenshtein distance for fuzzy matches and a few other things.
6. "Search" - in case I drowned in antipsychotics and forget which module I should look for to accomplish a task.
7. "Extraction" - could be merged with databases, not sure yet. This is just for exports. Choose which database, table, column family, column, filters, etc. You know the shit, man.
8. "Validation" - compare the results and the requirements. Check for duplicates, log all the output to check for missed information, flag possible false positives, etc.
9. "Clean-up" - remove all unnecessary files like quick hacks, etc. Archive commited scripts to avoid confusion.
10. "Journal" - can't find a better word, maybe later. Just random notes, Github issues, updates, new tricks learned, etc.
11. "Revisions" - yeah, the never-ending requirement changes. "I want it in JSON format. Wait, put it back to what it was before. Maybe put the JSON in a separate column? Actually, the JSON should be fine." Get it? I don't want to edit the same file only to wish I saved the old one and made a new one instead.
12. "Reports" - generate reports such as time it took for each script to run, which tasks are moving/not moving, a summary of all my updates for each task so it's easier for me to copy/paste the update when someone asks, etc.
13. "Jobs" - help me find a new job as a prostitute. Since I'm often running mutiple scripts because it takes a while to scan Hbase, I often get confused which is which or forget that I was running something and it just finished. I'm thinking getting the initial records size (ball-park) of the table and comparing it against the current record the script is on to display the percentage of completion for each script.
14. "Automations" - where I can define some steps for more simple and common tasks. For example, validate the results as soon as the job finishes and extract them or load them to a different database if the results are positive.
Some shit like that. Maybe I'll think of a few more things. If I don't get regularized in this company and somehow someone finds this tool useful, I will publish the source code and lengthy detailed articles on how to do it.13
Is there any other loser here like me who spent their teenage years on sites like VampireFreaks?
I remember getting addicted to it because of the bands, cults, and interesting clothing. Now that I have money, I'm thinking of actually buying their clothes and being active there again. Maybe start my own cult for morbid writing and storytelling. It would be great if it turns into a podcast because I love horror podcasts.
I was already dressed up and trying to book a car in the lobby when Grab banned me from booking for 24 hours. So I went back to my condo unit, stripped, took a dump, and now I'm lying on the sofa at 5:30 AM wondering what to do. I already told my manager I'd be on sick leave.
Why did I get banned? Because I cancelled three times. I didn't cancel all of those just to be an asshole to the drivers but one of them stayed in one spot for five minutes, not moving. Given my previous rants about Grab, this is a sign that the motherfucker is shitting in a gas station and would cancel after I waited long enough.
The other two were ten minutes away from me. No, I'm not impatient. Ten minutes mean 30 minutes in this country and who the fuck knows, they would probably cancel right in the middle of it. I just don't trust these drivers anymore.
Grab is funny. I've been cancelled on by drivers at least three times a day and yet when I do it for valid reasons (there's a question each time you cancel with choices for answers: waited too long, driver is too far away, driver asked to cancel, etc.), I get banned.
Your developers suck, seriously. Can't you even implement something to check if the cancellation was for valid reasons? There's no way I would commute via bus or whatever, that would probably take me three hours and I'm already always late using your app anyway. Damn this monopoly of bullshit. I wish Uber didn't merge with you.
Whatever. I'll probably get fired anyway. I might as well work on that text-based UI I had in mind, publish it on my blog, and update my resume.18