Aboutweb designer + developer • used to be an advertising/marketing guy • always stressed about something
Skillsphp + js + ts + haxe + gml • on the wishlist: ruby + lua + python + c++
Joined devRant on 10/31/2017
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Just when I thought I was free of previous clients, an advertising agency I worked with asked me to write an e-mail to their client to point him with instructions on how to set up the DNS servers for his website and specific subdomains.
I did it, 3 times, yet the guy did not understand that he should point his ".com" domain to an IP address and set up some A records.
The 4th e-mail I began with:
"Well, it seems you did not understand what I meant in previous e-mails, so here's a very detailed explanation for you, important stuff in bold, ok?
It should be easy enough even for a beginner to set up..."
Then I wrote tons of text detailing every single step for as long as I could as sincere as possible.
For some reason, both the client and agency didn't like the tone of my e-mail and sent me a complaint. 🤔4
So, I finally did it
And now I'm poor again 🤣
(P.s.: fuck you, exchange rates!)5
So, I've been working on a small JS application at my current work and I'm having this weird habit of adding a cowboy emoji on EVERY console message.
Let's see how long it takes for someone to notice.
So, it's been so long since I've been here on devRant and I'm quite happy I didn't have much to rant on lately! :D (I can finally sleep at night, YAY!)
Still on the job, it does have a few things I'd rant on, but not so much that I can't control. So it's getting better!
Still didn't get paid for that last freelance job, though. But, tbh, even though I need the money, I want that advertising agency to go to hell (and I hope someone from that fucking company sees this).
On a side note, I think I "almost" stopped using PHP. 😨
Hello, dear devRant! It's been 2 weeks since I started working on my "new old job". The pressure's still on, but at least I can focus on a single company (and have a steady income).
Now, one of my last freelance job clients just called me, telling me I "promised" to go do a "presentation and training" for a project I built, or else I won't receive it.
It's some good cash, but all I want to say is "fuck-off, not by problem", mostly because he keeps saying "this will cause friction with my clients, and you want the money, right?".
More like: "hey, I got something to deliver for my client and I need YOU, so fuck your job and come, ok?".
Dude, I'm only going to present a website project and give basic instructions. Why the hell we use Skype and Hangouts for? 🤷♂️
Oh problems, they never end 🤦♂️2
Got the job, starting tomorrow as a front end developer once again! 😆✨
Finally gonna be able to feel good about development again, focus on a single project, without the pressure from clients and money piling up!
No more accepting jobs just because "money", at least for a while! 😊
Now I just hope my last freelance clients will pay this week, so I can at least have something in my wallet.
HOLY FUCKING COW! :D
Last year I had the best 4 months, professionaly, working on a startup here in Brazil. But due to management changes, I was laid off.
Since then I spent this time freelancing and doing odd-jobs, stressing myself and almost losing hope for good things.
Just now someone told me I was invited to an interview and return to the team again! Due to some indications! 😆✨
I couldn't be happier! But also really afraid of this interview!
But, oh boy! If it goes well, at least I'll be off the reds for a while! 😝 I'm SO happy because of that!
Going back to the team is also great! 😎4
Having a talk with a client, just before "closing shop" today...
- ...so, how are you going to spend this holiday? I'm going to the countryside for a bit, relax, have some bbq...
- I still didn't get paid, so I might just sleep, or cook, or code something for myself.
Life is hard, dude.
Usually when I sent e-mails/messages with complete instructions for a client and then I receive this as reply:
"Ok, I did step one, what do I do now?"
I often reply with a "look at your message history" and, yet, I have to re-send everything again because of their inability todo so (or their laziness for searches).
Published "All work and no pay makes Jack a poor boy" on Facebook.
The thing is: I kinda "forgot" I have added some clients on Facebook too.
Now some complaints just start poppin'.
But, do I care?
Lately I'm so stressed and pissed that rants end up leaking everywhere. 🙃6
- ...so I need you to help me with updating a website project, I think it uses PHP and a custom CMS, but we have to keep this server...
- Ok, just send me the things so I can give it a check
*Receives server login information*
*Does the `phpinfo()` thingy just to see things*
IT USES FUCKING PHP 4
- I'm sorry, no can do unless we change servers...
I often take a more bright and upbeat approach at things, but today I'm kinda not being able to do so. Maybe I'm tired of doing it?
Taking turns with paracetamol and anxiety medicine.
Clients and financial situation are kinda hard to digest here.
Sometimes it's too much, I don't know what to do and I just go and spend hours playing games.
I wish I could punch a client, just once too.
I'm strange. 😰
Not a good one, but I used in an e-mail, so:
"...I was told I'd get paid for that JS project I built, but all I got is a promise..."
"It's going to be a simple wireframe, with basic navigation only" you say.
"We don't need details or a complex structure" you say.
FUCK YOU, FUCK YOUR PROJECT!
P.s.: give me my money.24
Dear client, if I say "I'll have it ready by the evening" it's just a means to have you shut your fucking mouth and also stop fucking messaging me every 5 minutes asking for the status of the project and telling your idiotic ideas and "updates" to make the project better.
If I were to be honest with you, considering the way you are, and the Frankenstein's monster this project has become, I'd say I'll have this project done by the next month at least.
Please, understand that I'm not someone from Caring Contact ready 24/7 for your blabber, I'm a fucking stressed developer preparing this shitty project because I NEED YOUR MONEY.
Thanks! Wish you a great day!
Sorry, I needed to vent a bit. 🤪💦4
I did some work for a startup this year, using PHP to build the MVP API for a demonstration of their idea.
I ended up building a whole application framework on top of Slim + Doctrine, spent nights and weekends working on it because "we're getting an investor soon".
One day I realized, though, that I wouldn't be getting paid that soon, that the investors weren't coming. They did pay a bit for my work, but the bulk of it was yet to be paid.
When I realized this, I also realized one more thing: although I had an NDA for the code I wrote for them, if I just remove the project-specific code and make the application framework agnostic, I could publish it as an open source project and "use" it to build the project, keep authorship, right?
Well, they've yet to find an investor, while I have a fully functional API project in hands. Which I'm using for another project that's paying better (it's not a competitor, so it's safe) 😜3
I usually write my rants on a notepad, before I put them here, just for safety.
And I'm really glad I do so.
80% of my unpublished rants from the last weeks are so full of frustration and hate (mostly because of the clients + money relationship) that even I got kinda afraid of what I wrote.
Sometimes it's good that I'm good at holding up.
I don't know how long, though. 😕6
All I ask, clients, is for you to send EVERYTHING you want in a single document.
It can be DOC, PDF or even in the body of an e-mail, as long as it's properly organized and formatted.
But, please, DO NOT BREAK IT IN 4789502935352183785785923 E-MAILS, specially when you want it to be done quickly!4
Some designer told me: "I'm sending it in Adobe XD format. Do you use Adobe XD?"
I answered with a 😆
Maybe I need a pause?1
Trying to read and understand a document for a startup project, so I can help with wireframes and mockups.
So full of yadda yadda it makes you think "what do these guys drink in the morning?".
Is it that hard to make a simple and direct document? 😢2
- ...so, as we told you in that e-mail, we need you to fix it, our IT dept. noticed a few problems on two sections and some elements
- I saw it, but what about the details of the problems? Can they send me screenshots? Which OS? Which browser?
- We're using Vista and Internet Expl...
I've been feeling so fucked up because of everything that my clients are now noticing I'm fed up with everything.
Mostly because I've been crossing the devRant->Facebook border in a not-so-subtle way.
Don't know if it's a good thing, but fuck it.
Some clients got a bit angry because I told'em 8min for audio messages on WhatsApp is overkill.
So I just sent'em a 20min audio message in return.
P.s.: of course, gave a 1 second pause for every single word I said2
- So, please, I need help with this presentation, it must be simple and quick...
- Ok, just send me the texts and images, I'll see what I can do...
(...waits for 6 hours for the content...)
- What do you think?
- Do you want a presentation, or a TL;DR for the Bible? Also, what's this 'inspiring image' on every slide?
- Oh, is it too much text? I didn't have time to choose images yet...could you please help me?
- Oh...right then 😈
Just so you know, my type of "inspiring image" is waaaaaaaaaaaay different than a motivational speaker's 🤪2
Not tidy, because I didn't have much time to do so lately, but works for me 😉
Programming bunny courtesy of my fiancée! ❤
That paper there is a 65 color palette I use for my projects and my company's stuff. 🎨
P.s.: yes, I wrote "CPU POWAH!" and drew a face on my PC. I was just testing a new pen and forgot to clean that 🤪
Wrote CSS for a website.
Tested on all current major browsers, works like a charm.
Everyone in the agency I'm freelancing for tested, works like a charm and approved.
Client tests the project and points out some template errors.
We try to reproduce and see nothing wrong.
Then, during a talk with the agency, I have a "brilliant" idea:
- Let's try with Internet Explorer...
- So, are you planning on sharing this (landing page) directly in Facebook or planning a custom post on Facebook to advertise it?
- What's that?
- You're the marketing professional responsible for posts in social media, right?
- Then, all I'm asking if you're planning to share this on Facebook, so I can set all (Open Graph) tags properly, or if you're planning to create a custom post on Facebook to advertise the promotion
- I still don't understand
- DO YOU PLAN ON CTRL+C / CTRL+V JUST THE LINK OR JUST WRITE STUFF WITH AN IMAGE ON FACEBOOK AND PUT THE LINK AT THE END OF THE POST?
- Uhhhhhhhh, what's the difference?
*sounds of a heart attack + me rolling on the floor twisting myself*1
Oh boy! So many "features" I can't even count with an abbacus! :D
Once upon a time, a client that handled events and bar services asked me to make the word "SUCCESS", in various languages, pop up in the background of his website, like soda/champagne bubbling.
As soon as I heard this I had a major facepalm problem for a whole week.
Plus, as a bonus, the client later complained that some words didn't look like "success" in some languages! Like "sėkmė" (Lithuanian) or "başarı" (Turkish).2
Translation of the image:
- And how much that would cost, so she can approve, please...
- She wants something modern, more vintage...
Modern and vintage...hmm...like subway running on steam?
Clients these days...¯\_(ツ)_/¯5
Gotta stay fit (and alive) while you're waiting! 🍽️
I kinda forgot dessert, but sugar is bad, rite? 😉6