the west, in my experience, makes impressions and promises that they will deliver idealistic outcomes

but when it comes to actually delivering on these outcomes they fall short or pretend they never said those things or otherwise change the topic, maybe slander you

how does everyone, and / or you specifically, deal with this and navigate it? howcome the west is a high-trust society, otherwise said to be prosperous, when it is in the culture to promise a lot and idealize, but the execution is often so lacking? so lacking to such a degree, so defensive if asked about, that it ends up feeling like outright lies? so howcome it functions as a high-trust society? 🤔

we will force politics into your companies, jobs and hire you based on your compliance into our politics

but we will also dox your anonymous open source contributions and correlate your identities via government mandated self-doxes that you need to make income with and then discredit you if you've shown you've read some spicy history, saying you're a supporter of fascism

https://businessinsider.com/jack-do... (pay walled so no clue about the fascism, interesting how they make you do homework you don't fucking wanna tho)

I think the problem here is that everybody's gotta eat and if they aren't forcing their politics on you maybe you should fuck off

doing things right seems to be a waste of time

especially considering how fast things change beneath you

for years I've said I should just stop overoptimizing but I've yet to fucking try it. I said this to myself 5 hours ago and what am I doing. I spent the last 5 hours trying to overoptimize for a theoretical scenario that I won't ever even be in, because I haven't even decided what I want to immediately do

how about immediately do something Jesus fuck
next Tuesday this system will have to be rewritten again anyway

how many fucking asset loading systems do I want under my belt
just load the fucking assets

maybe decide on which assets you'll be using first so then you don't overoptimize for "WELL MAYBE ILL LOAD THEM INDIVIDUALLY THEN PUT THEM IN A NICE IMAGE IN RAM FIRST BEFORE I SEND IT OFF TO THE GPU" omg just shut up. just because you can doesn't mean you should. doesn't help everyone using this thing keeps insisting you do it this way. but you don't fucking need to.

actually you know what, I blame them. they kept confusing me with yOu ShOulD do It ThiS WAY. next thing I know I'm walking through every possible conceivable way to do asset loading so I can decide how to load assets and then end up in architecturizing of the perfect system. I didn't want to be on this path. but they told me to be on this path. I blame them

take-away: if you can make it work at all, just use that unless it breaks something. fuck how or for "what" the dumb system is designed. people don't stick to their "designs" anyway -- it's idealism just like free stuff sounds great in theory, but in reality it just shits up everything because it's unrealistic

the internet was so good before corporate interests took everything over and made it garbage

before you found real people, instead of shills
real hobbies, instead of someone wanting to sell you knockoff shit by pretending to have information on your hobby
real information, instead of stupid politics which pretend information doesn't exist and keep changing Wikipedia pages or brigading forums with spam or reporting websites or servers as violating rules to remove innocent people and ruin their shit

before you could find tools and use them
and there were no ads
even when there were ads they were just banner ads where you got free iPods and maybe a virus
but they didn't subscribe you to their service monthly and then play psychological tricks on you so you couldn't cancel
even when the popups came we had popup blockers, and the web browsers were on our side and made the feature widespread and viewed the popups as malicious, and now the world's biggest ad company serves the most popular "open source" browser and is in a war against usability because they have to display their brain malware ads to you or else

and you'd get excited to get an email, instead of annoyed it's more fucking corporate spam you don't want from a random website that required you to give your email address so you could've bought a trinket for your friend Bob's birthday that one time and now their subscriber list keeps "forgetting" you unsubscribed

phones have a billion sensors but the app stores are so infested with bullshit none of it matters
it's all rot
everything is starving and making your life worse

we used to do so much with so little
and now we have so much and leave it all on the table to throw poop at each other

don't forget that brigade science tells you nostalgia is you remembering something to be better than it was. be gaslit. webpages disappear now, too. they get changed. archive.org has the records, and got DDoSed the other day. I knew this day would happen. everyone who lies would love for there to be no archives, no records. to burn the modern books

inflation hitting the people in my rich-ish neighbourhood now

heard a dad lecture his son for at least 30 minutes in front of their house about how everything he buys his boy is a gift to him -- "everything you are given here is a gift, do you understand?!" something like that

I'm sure that'll go well... kid was already wearing a bike helmet with a Mohawk on it and he was like 11

Title: "Wizard of Alzheimer's: Memories of Magic"

Setting:
You play as an elderly wizard who has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. As your memories fade, so does your grasp on the magical world you once knew. You must navigate the fragmented and ever-changing landscapes of your own mind, casting spells and piecing together the remnants of your magical knowledge to delay the progression of the disease and preserve your most precious memories.

Gameplay:
1. Procedurally generated memories: Each playthrough generates a unique labyrinth of memories, representing different aspects and moments of your life as a wizard.

2. Memory loss mechanic: As you progress through the game, your memories will gradually fade, affecting your abilities, available spells, and the layout of the world around you.

3. Spell crafting: Collect fragments of your magical knowledge and combine them to craft powerful spells. However, as your memory deteriorates, you'll need to adapt your spellcasting to your changing abilities.

4. Mnemonic puzzles: Solve puzzles and challenges that require you to recall specific memories or piece together fragments of your past to progress.

5. Emotional companions: Encounter manifestations of your emotions, such as Joy, Fear, or Regret. Interact with them to gain insight into your past and unlock new abilities or paths forward.

6. Boss battles against Alzheimer's: Face off against physical manifestations of Alzheimer's disease, representing the different stages of cognitive decline. Use your spells and wits to overcome these challenges and momentarily push back the progression of the disease.

7. Memory anchors: Discover and collect significant objects or mementos from your past that serve as memory anchors. These anchors help you maintain a grasp on reality and slow down the rate of memory loss.

8. Branching skill trees: Develop your wizard's abilities across multiple skill trees, focusing on different schools of magic or mental faculties, such as Concentration, Reasoning, or Creativity.

9. Lucid moments: Experience brief periods of clarity where your memories and abilities are temporarily restored. Make the most of these moments to progress further or uncover crucial secrets.

10. Bittersweet ending: As you delve deeper into your own mind, you'll confront the inevitability of your condition while celebrating the rich magical life you've lived. The game's ending will be a poignant reflection on the power of memories and the legacy you leave behind.

In "Wizard of Alzheimer's: Memories of Magic," you'll embark on a deeply personal journey through the fragmented landscapes of a once-powerful mind. As you navigate the challenges posed by Alzheimer's disease, you'll rediscover the magic you once wielded, cherish the memories you hold dear, and leave a lasting impact on the magical world you've called home.

LMAO

opus > gpt

spent days trying to get info out of gpt and I think it made me question my own sanity. my brain is so tired and mangled by the whole experience

tried opus and it can remember a conversation and doesn't gaslight you all the time. goddamn

and it writes code that you can actually read
and it will actually answer questions instead of equivocating like a condescending dick

"respectively"

in ML perceptron layers weights multiply respectively... meaning they don't mire their responsibilities

implies respect is shown when you don't try to rope someone to do your responsibilities but just leave them to do the things they feel they're responsible for

which is ironic
because when someone tries to force you to do their work for them they shout that you are the one not respecting them

greed is addiction to acquiring resources
lust is addiction to experiencing sex
gluttony is addiction to consuming food

wonder if historically people added sins over time as they discovered them
perhaps modern era is stuck in a fugue addiction to amassing knowledge, something quite difficult to do to a destructive degree before internet era
so much so they forget to use it
like greedy people don't value their resources and forget to utilize them
like lusty people don't value their mates and forget to emotionally bond to them
like gluttonous people don't value their food and forget it's for health

I gave up trying to use generic numbers in rust and just converted everything to f64

now I can do math

stupid system

*moves into a new language, converts language to JavaScript*

why argue when you can just change it to your opinion and make the impression that no other opinion exists and then go find new people to groom so they get used to your way while being none the wiser and then eventually overwhelm the other side of the argument with numbers

sunny day, put plants outside
cleaned under plants... then dusted... I had no energy when I woke up but evidently somehow I'm doing spring cleaning. I'm only halfway done, if that

the kitchen lightbulb burnt out today coincidentally. asked roommate if we had extra. he said no, but strangely said he'd go buy and replace it. whoa. we have several dead light bulbs and he hasn't replaced them in years. he actually replaced them all today... very weird

anyway, the one in the kitchen is bright blue now. it seems like all the nightlights in the kitchen are also now permanently on because of it. I do not know if I like this

wait, people call JavaScript code gross but this is C? wtf

Jesus fuck generic number adding in rust is pissing me off

why did I decide to do this

I literally don't have to

let's just add 12 traits and then find out it doesn't know how to divide by usize. well how the hell am I supposed to convert it then. there's no trait for "f64 as f32" so now my shit looks like spaghetti cuz of that, now this...

so let's see I could call into() on usize to get it to be unknown T number... but there's no way for it to know what to convert to and I can't determine if there's any way for me to tell it that

THESE STRAITJACKETS
I might just need a padded room at this rate
*goes to sleep* later

.... required for usize to implement Into<T> wat

😩
I suspect that's gonna be another dead end
GOod ErrOrS

I really gotta stop accepting food from other people

my birthday was the other day and my roommate wanted to get me something special to eat for free

I said I keep dreaming of the samosa salad from Indian places he would get and I would keep stealing a spoon full of to try (this was after I got sick and insensitive to food so I was cautious)

he insisted it was from this fast food place... that's weird. I don't think it was. he insists all Indian places have it on their menu but he just didn't know. and he was getting this fast food's place one and that's the one I liked. ok. I consent.

I go running, come back, shower, hungry and food arrived, so I scuff down half the samosa salad thing
now I feel like trash
and it tastes nothing like it
it has fucking BBQ sauce in it. no yogurt. it's supposed to be Indian. what the fuck, sweet-ass bqq sauce? the spiciness is some retarded white people taste. this isn't the punch of Indian food.
30% of the mass is cucumber. wat. there's fucking pomegranate seeds in it so you can't even chew it. what am I even eating. the samosa pieces are all soggy and not crunchy like I remember. the spiciness sucks. there's no yogurt to counteract it either. just pathetic

and now I feel like garbage. I feel sick to my stomach. because that BBQ sauce was a lot more sugar than you could taste.

I fucking hate my life. I hope I don't get sick from the food, cuz I have food insensitivities... and I knew before when I took spoonfuls of what he ordered they didn't effect me... but that wasn't this.

this fucker literally lied and used me to order food guilt-free under the pretense of "hey it's your birthday and I wanna get you a meal". and he orders disgusting fast food that isn't even food. "for me". while lying to me. me who can't even eat the damned cherries I love without my brain degrading because those are too much sugar. what the hell is wrong with this guy

I know I got downvoted for this before but fuck I hate fat people. I don't want to eat fast food. I want real food. I don't want to get sick off fake fucking BBQ sauce infused with disgusting sugar. all this guy does is make excuses for the food he wants to eat. maybe I'm just literally food insensitive watching him eat himself to death I don't know. I feel like puking

I swear nothing good anyone ever does for you is ever for you. people are rotten.

is there even anyone who thinks natively in rust

if someone knows someone with YouTube channel or something that'd be great

I don't mean explanations but they actually intuitively design in it inside their own heads

generally my brain catches onto that fast but with rust I find i prototype stuff then have to go back and rewrite everything... which is a pain
and now I'm trying to do a complicated iterator object with sub functions and my brain evidently needs to make a leap over like 5 new concepts and I don't know if it's worth the effort or it will go nowhere

but if there's videos of somebody who codes natively, unconscious competence in rust then I could pick up the intuition way faster from watching them
just the problem is any content for rust is made by people who don't seem to really know rust, but are just moonlighting through it or fanboys of it

you are a dinosaur, harry

have you ever learned something you wish you hadn't and also what was it

mystery food science

what happened to this egg

in rust I can add some functions to, say, an array / vector of specific types

specifically, I want to add a function to draw a chart on an array of some time and values

but I can only do this if I make a trait / interface first, and add the trait / interface to the array-type thingy

which is strange to me
why can't I just implement it without the trait?
it just doesn't want you to be able to add functions to a data type you didn't make

I mean I think it's cool I can just add functions to random data types will-nilly like this
but why must I define a stupid trait
I'm not going to be using generics over that trait anyway 🤷
and yet, I must make the trait...

now I'm becoming much more aware how I'm shadowbanned on YouTube...

I watch a lot of small channels and I literally can't talk to them, I just realized...

shaodwbanning means it's one way communication only. you have to listen to the propaganda box and you don't matter and can't give any feedback at all

I wanted to give some business takes on someone analyzing some companies, and I can't... because I'm in the propaganda box. I'm not considered a person who deserves a voice, on anything now, ever, for the rest of time. I'm just a receptacle

reminds me of the philosophical definition of objectification some feminist wrote about: https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/...

instrumentality: the treatment of a person as a tool for the objectifier’s purposes;
denial of autonomy: the treatment of a person as lacking in autonomy and self-determination;
inertness: the treatment of a person as lacking in agency, and perhaps also in activity;
fungibility: the treatment of a person as interchangeable with other objects;
violability: the treatment of a person as lacking in boundary-integrity;
ownership: the treatment of a person as something that is owned by another (can be bought or sold);
denial of subjectivity: the treatment of a person as something whose experiences and feelings (if any) need not be taken into account

we are all irrelevant playthings to some narcissistic speakerboxes

did anyone else get into programming because unlike a person when you get into an argument about who is right you can objectively prove it and prove it again and prove it sideways and up and the answer is gonna be always the same or your fault for testing it that way

and if not, why else

learning about neural nets I'm realizing...

ummm I didn't recognize this random-ass line as a "7". I thought someone drew a space ship or something. is my brain's neural net just not working?

I don't think I recognize dogs by visuals... I smell them...

I don't notice the edges of T-shirts and shit. I just recognize them as colors... I recognize everyone wearing clothes by the colors. not the edges.

am I retarded

at one point documents were useful things to align people to the relevant information to the tasks they must complete for everything to work out

now documents are a ritual, and relevant information is even forgotten or omitted and considered secondary to the document existing and looking like a professional document

I wonder if this is how all industries evolve
at one point there were people who knew what they were doing, they created processes so nobody is left behind
and over time, whoever made the processes, the spirit for their existence, is forgotten
and you're left with empty rituals, so devoid of their original function, the humans subjected to these things, crushed by them, can't even discern what their usage is

evidently if you put monkeys in an enclosure with some apples up a tree with a mechanism that if a monkey goes up the tree and takes an apple it sprays all the other monkeys in the enclosure with water
the monkeys will learn to pull down any monkey trying to go up the tree, because they don't wanna get sprayed
and this will keep going, generations will change and yet they'll still religiously pull down the monkeys, in a ritual... nobody remembers why only that their parents did this to them, so they do it to others
if you take the trap away, they never figure it out, which is how this story is typically told
but regardless of if the trap is there or not
wouldn't you wanna know and see it for yourself instead of following empty rituals?!

and what of people who erroneously view things as traps, and pull people down, but they were just seeing things?!
self limiting myths to doom the ages!

this is the first time I've laughed at a joke made by an AI

can you feel the walls closing in on you yet

turns out you not being allowed to be root of mobile devices you literally own was culminating to this point

https://youtube.com/watch/...

would be sooooo fun for a hacker 🤷

upside I guess, if your website's content is generated by JavaScript I'm too lazy to find an emulator to scrape it off you

granted I'm sure this website's business would've been much better had they made it scrapable since I'm quite literally trying to retrieve their capabilities listed in one of their help pages and give myself alerts when they gain new features

but no, I guess

finally fixed up my busted laptop and set everything up in a new environment

went back to my old codebase, which evidently I lost more code for with that failing SSD than I thought...

got acquainted again because my memory is so garbage I don't even remember what I did really

got into it, played around a bunch
it became night and I hyper so I do my exercising routines to calm my messed up nervous system or whatever
go to sleep, wake up 4 hours later but I need more sleep
stay awake for an hour, my brain intricately redesigned the codebase and expands the feature base by like 80%
I am annoyed it's thinking so much
eventually tired myself out, get sleepy, fall asleep
wake up 3 hours later
I feel like crap and I remember nothing of the codebase yesterday much less are able to think about it

why and what just what
why you do this, body

every time I encounter code that's not rust I get jealous because it's so much easier to understand what it's doing lol

but it's also ugly tbf