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"If you want your software to be adopted by Americans, good tests scores from the CI server are very important. Volkswagen uses a defeat device to detect when it's being tested in a CI server and will automatically reduce errors to an acceptable level for the tests to pass. This will allow you to spend less time worrying about testing and more time enjoying the good life as a trustful software developer."rant malice driven development devops task failed successfully volkswagen emissions continuous integration satire gone wrong troll2 -
I could write a fucking dissertation on why snek is objectively a piece of shit, together with all your favorite dumbass collections of syntactic diarrhea full of needless operators and toothless fucking conventions that make no sense in retrospect.
By that I mean to say among all of it's real world uses the foremost is screwing yourself, which is analogous to utilizing the fine hands of a classically trained violinist for virtuous masturbation. And you cannot fix it, you can only Keep It Solemnly Sucking.
Now I'm not saying that if they were humans their lot in life would be to get down on their knees and passionately blow me until my eyes pop out. All I'm saying is their lot in life IS to get DOWN and passionately BLOW me until my eyes pop out, to which the general scientific consensus is indeed yes, it is, and they absolutely should.
But back to commanding the demons trapped inside the sillicon and all the existing ways to to do so being terrible half-assed abortions that serve as a perfect encapsulation and prime example of mankind's greatest shame and failures. If I had to volcanically ejaculate for each time I heard a thorough and perfectly valid critique of insert flavor of fucking stupid, I'd be long-rotting dead from dehydration.
You think that's funny? A man just died creaming in his pants and we are all wiser for it, show some respect. Some people simply do not understand the value of humility, and I will be *proud* to anally humble them for it, free of charge.
Anytime, I swear, ANYTIME that I come back to a language I fucking hate and I'm immediately reminded of why I do everything in my power to avoid it, I invariably come out with the feeling that it wasn't quite as bad as the last time.
THAT is how I measure my progress: still swimming in a sea of deeply decolored and fermenting alien reptile excretion -- but I'm a much better swimmer. This isn't so bad, I may even ignore the burning desire to kill myself next time.
But I'm so blinded by your plump fucking tits that I can't even remember what was my point, I may have just delivered the verbal equivalent of complete mental castration. Again.8 -
What can I use instead of JavaScript? From what I’m reading this language seems like self harm, and I’m not a masochist.5
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Client said the images need to be responsive and go full width.
Told her that would make the images massive and we should have a limit in height a cropping enabled.
She told me it should look nice with full width images uncropped.
Fucking designers said the same fucking thing.
Client today: Hey images are huge. Make sure they look nice.
*sigh*4 -
When depression set in, I thought pain relief lied in getting duller. People I called “stupid” — who lived simple lives filled with alcohol and lack of any talent or purpose — weren't suffering. Better even, they denied the existence of depression.
My “wish” was granted when they prescribed cariprazine. In two months, I lost my ability to read, let alone code.
Before that, even depressed, writing a simple email/password auth was a matter of ten minutes in any of the languages I knew how to do web in (JS, Python, Clojure, PHP). But on cariprazine, I remember myself not quite getting what an HTML form was.
Tell you what… you should never wish to become dumber. When I was smart and depressed, the pain was real, but it felt like… let's say a breakup. When I was dumb and depressed, it felt like being raped with a red-hot soldering iron. Or like being skinned alive. Or like when 100% of your skin is a third-degree burn. The pain weren't listening to me, as my mouth was glued shut as if I was Keanu in the first Matrix movie. You can't say, do or think anything, at all, to ease your pain somehow. You can't even realize that just DMing or calling someone is probably a good idea.
Instead of you vs. despair situation from when you were smart, now it's just despair that is actively melting you, so you two become one. Even time loses its meaning. There is nothing out there but suffering.
If you're smart(er than I was at my lowest), DO cherish it. Losing that will spell disaster. So stay away from substances that can facilitate that loss.1 -
YESSS!!!! IT'S GREEN!!! FINALLYYYY!!!!!!!!
3 weeks ago I started building this CI pipeline. Finally, I see something GREEN!! YAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!
P.S. A complete build requires 23GB of disk space, lasts 1h40m, and artifacts are too big to be cached, so everything must be shoved into a single CI job.
You've gotta love building monoliths...4 -
Recruiter contacts me on a software dev jobs platform because my profile looks great.
Job is for a fullstack JS developer and they use React, Node.js and some other stuff I've never touched.
Nowhere on my profile is any mention of React.
I thank him for reaching out and politely decline an interview by stating I have zero experience with React.
He says, oh, he thought I'd be willing to learn React since I know vue.js.
Why do people think learning a new JS framework is easy, and that devs who use a similar framework is willing to learn another one, and that "it's all just JS in the end"?
React is not just JS, it's fucking spaghetti. The React code I've read was cognitively demanding to decipher (or maybe I am low IQ lol), because it's not "just JS". It's a nasty spaghetti of HTML, CSS, and TypeScript.3 -
because the house I lived in was quite a hostile environment, and every place after that I rented, I grew up without the feeling of home. I was puzzled by how to acquire it. Should homeownership do the trick?
the answer came swift and unexpected — I got a cat. Now, my home is where my cat is. Simple as that.2 -
I've been away a while, mostly working 60-70 hour weeks.
Found a managers job and the illusion of low-level stability.
Also been exploring elliptic curve cryptography and other fun stuff, like this fun equation...
i = log(n, 2**0.5)
base = (((int((n/(n*(1-(n/((((abs(int(n+(n/(1/((n/(n-i))+(i+1)))))+i)-(i*2))/1))/1/i)))))*i)-i)+i))
...as it relates to A143975 a(n) = floor(n*(n+3)/3)
Most semiprimes n=pq, where p<q, appear to have values k in the sequence, where k is such that n+m mod k equals either p||q or a multiple thereof.
Tested successfully up to 49 bits and counting. Mostly haven't gone further because of work.
Theres a little more math involved, and I've (probably incorrectly) explained the last bit but the gist is the factorization doesn't turn up anything, *however* trial lookups on the sequence and then finding a related mod yields k instead, which can be used to trivially find p and q.
It has some relations to calculating on an elliptic curve but thats mostly over my head, and would probably bore people to sleep.1 -
Vertical pressure leaf filter? More like a vertical pain in the neck! Why in the world would anyone think it's a good idea to arrange filter leaves in a vertical orientation? It's like they're begging for inefficiency! And don't even get me started on the maintenance nightmare that comes with trying to clean those things out. You practically need a ladder just to reach them!
Then there's the horizontal pressure leaf filter. Oh, joy! Because arranging those filter leaves horizontally makes all the difference, right? Wrong! It's just another headache waiting to happen. Sure, it might save a bit of space, but at what cost? I'll tell you: constant clogging, uneven flow distribution, and a whole lot of frustration.
And don't even get me started on the molten sulphur filter. Molten sulphur! Do they not realize how dangerous that stuff is? And yet, they expect us to trust some flimsy filter to keep us safe? No thank you! I'd rather take my chances swimming in a pool of lava.
Filter elements? Oh, great! Because we really needed another thing to keep track of in our already cluttered warehouses. And good luck trying to find the right one when you need it. It's like searching for a needle in a haystack, except the needle costs thousands of dollars and could potentially shut down your entire operation if you pick the wrong one.
Pulse jet candle filter? What is this, a science fiction movie? Just because it sounds fancy doesn't mean it actually works! And don't even get me started on the polishing and bag filter. If I wanted to spend all day polishing things, I'd become a shoe shiner, not an engineer!
And as for self-cleaning filters and strainers, don't even get me started! They claim to be self-cleaning, but what they really mean is that they'll clog up and break down just like every other filter out there. It's a scam, I tell you!
Oil field filtration equipment? Yeah, because nothing says "reliable" like trusting your livelihood to a piece of machinery that's constantly exposed to the elements and covered in God-knows-what.
And basket filters and strainers? They're like the ugly stepchild of the filtration world. Nobody wants to deal with them, but we're stuck with them anyway because apparently, we can't have nice things.
Process filtration and equipment? More like process frustration and equipment that's one step away from falling apart at any moment. And don't even get me started on 'Y', 'T', and conical strainers. What even are those? And why do we need so many different types? It's like they're trying to confuse us on purpose!
And finally, the auto backwash filter. Because apparently, we're too lazy to clean our own filters now. What's next? Auto-eating forks and self-driving shoes? Give me a break!
In conclusion, filtration equipment is the bane of my existence. So thanks, but no thanks, to all these so-called "innovations." I'll stick to my good old-fashioned cheesecloth, thank you very much!rant oil field filtration equipments self cleaning filters & strainers 'y' filter elements process filtration & equipments vertical pressure leaf filter pulse jet candle filter molten sulphur filter horizontal pressure leaf filter basket filters & strainers polishing and bag filter1 -
Recent signs for hating my self.
1. I use Gnome3 on every desktop without being violently forced.
2. I reject girl which bluntly asks me for hookup preferring wanking in loneliness.
3. I open linkedIn without any reason.
Point 3 is really concerning.2 -
I fucking hate picking a linux distro, I always end up regretting my choice nonetheless because my fucking laptop is so old anything is too irritating for it to run and every distro has some mild annoyances that I fixate on them and cannot keep my stupid miserable brain to just let it go8
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In my case, the most unrealistic deadline was when I was put on a project for 30 person days in 2008. The project had been running for about 6 months at that point.
I spoke to the project manager about my tasks and she told me to finish the fat client. So I immersed myself in the sources. And I was horrified to realize that not only was it not even a POC, but the performance was lousy to say the least. It took about 70 (sic!) seconds to start the program, read in about 20 records from a database and display them as a hierarchical structure.
I asked the PM when I was supposed to have finished my work, and her response was, "Yesterday."
"Very funny," I replied.
"No, really," she said, "the deadline was yesterday."
It took me an afternoon to speed up the fat client startup to 6 seconds. And then it took us another two weeks or so to identify the processes in discussions with the technical project manager. Because that didn't exist yet either.
About 1.5 years after the deadline, the software system - consisting of the fat client, mainframe modules and purchased software - was stable enough to be rolled out. -
SSL was a good idea terribly implemented. Relying only on big tech for valid certificates was the single most idiotic thing the web baboons could come up with.
Sure, you could always hack comodo (again) to issue yourself some LAN certs but come on. You either expose your server or pay half a kidney for a somewhat secure thing! Give me a break....3 -