I hired a woman for senior quality assurance two weeks ago. Impressive resume, great interview, but I was met with some pseudo-sexist puzzled looks in the dev team.

Meeting today. Boss: "Why is the database cluster not working properly?"

Team devs: "We've tried diagnosing the problem, but we can't really find it. It keeps being under high load."

New QA: "It might have something to do with the way you developers write queries".

She pulls up a bunch of code examples with dozens of joins and orderings on unindexed columns, explains that you shouldn't call queries from within looping constructs, that it's smart to limit the data with constraints and aggregations, hints at where to actually place indexes, how not to drag the whole DB to the frontend and process it in VueJS, etc...

New QA: "I've already put the tasks for refactoring the queries in Asana"

I'm grinning, because finally... finally I'm not alone in my crusade anymore.

Boss: "Yeah but that's just that code quality nonsense Bittersweet always keeps nagging about. Why is the database not working? Can't we just add more thingies to the cluster? That would be easier than rewriting the code, right?"

Dev team: "Yes... yes. We could try a few more of these aws rds db.m4.10xlarge thingies. That will solve it."

QA looks pissed off, stands up: "No. These queries... they touch the database in so many places, and so violently, that it has to go to therapy. That's why it's down. It just can't take the abuse anymore. You could add more little brothers and sisters to the equation, but damn that would be cruel right? Not to mention that therapy isn't exactly cheap!"

Dev team looks annoyed at me. My boss looks even more annoyed at me. "You hired this one?"

I keep grinning, and I nod.

"I might have offered her a permanent contract"

I'm so sick of all these fat frontend websites.

Transferring dozens of megabytes of mostly unused libraries is not acceptable.

A browser tab crunching up CPU time because everything must be "beautifully animated" (🤢) and processed without involving page reloads/backend is not acceptable.

A response time of over a second is not acceptable.

Cryptic error messages and random popups asking you to reload your page, not acceptable.

Sticky elements/popups breaking access on small screens is not acceptable.

Running hundreds of ajax calls per minute as heartbeats/probes
and crashing the page when the internet has a hiccup, not acceptable.

Fuck Asana, Fuck Twitch, Fuck LinkedIn, Fuck Youtube, Fuck the dozens of other SPAs which unload their truckload of diarrhea into a tab, yet fail to load crucial functionality about half of the time.

Fuck any page that breaks when you block Facebook, Doubleclick, Twitter or Google Analytics. To hell with websites depending on cookies or javascript loaders to display anything.

I want webpages to be interactive informational documents again.

Fuck off with your apps.

If you want to make an app, learn to use a real language, and get the fuck out of my browser.

Starting new game development project.

Coder:" ok guys, I think that this time we have to focus much more on sprints management and documentation"

Designer:"Ye, this time we should use better scrum software, like jira or youtrack"

Artist:"but Asana has the unicorns when you complete a task"

How come something works absolutely perfectly in dev but not in prod?
I was making a desktop app in election js and everything is working perfectly. No problem at all. But then I create the installer/distributable and nothing shows on the screen. And out of curiosity, I wanted to see the error log and it shows an unknown error, I didn't even know from what thing the error is being generated. And after I fixed that, another problem came with Asana Api. I mean, if it's a public API, why do you have to block it with cors? I hate cors!
And after all of it, there's more to it. I mean, why can't you just show the errors in dev?

that moment when you get 30 asana email notifications starting with "Assigned to You" and you're about to faint.

But then you realize you have a long-winded coworker.

So my boss wants me to develop a complete business management solution + mobile app. (It’s a startup project based company). She doesn’t want to use dubsado / asana / etc and wants me to take the best of all and custom build it for her.
Now I was a mobile app developer. Native iOS and android + recently learnt flutter. No backend or web or api skill.
But screw it, I wanted to learn laravel since a long time anyway so that I could be an independent developer.
So I have agreed and started it...
Bitten more than I can chew? Time will tell...what do you think?

My ASANA task list :/ I always get distracted with new bugs coming in...oh squirrel!

Thankfully not anymore, but Asana was the most frustrating and confusing piece of crap when I had to work with it.

I would literally spend hours trying to sort out where everything came from, let my boss know that other people were trying to get me to do something via some private task that no one else can see, sort out random ass replies to random points in conversations and then open up my email and answer all the half-baked open ended questions that were sent separately over email.

Trello, asana or something else, what do you prefer?

Can anyone suggest any websites or resources for a breakdown of how to handle requests for features or handling bugs. Basically, I want some kind of background on best practices for managing the process of receiving a feature request/or bug report from a user to it reaching the dev team, to production/user acceptance testing.

Docuware, oh Docuware.

Meant to be an archiving system, but the moment work flows were seen by our director the ball just went out of the court in terms of implementation.

We've gotten to a point where we don't want to use Asana for ticket tracking and task assignment, we don't want to use a tool that acts as a man in the middle to push information to dbs, we want to use workflows with set conditions to automate every single process in the company. Why? It's cheaper.

The syntax is alrightish for arithmetic expressions, but there are so many limitations that we've gotten to the point where we're absolutely circumventing the entire point of the software.

Initialise variables, Condition, condition, condition, draw data from external sheet, process based thereof.

"oh, why doesn't it display images on the populated forms? I don't want it just as an attachment I need to click next to see".

Frustration is paramount, but the light is at the end of the tunnel.

"Oh, did I mention that we need digital signitures?" you need an additional module Mr boss. "no, I bought the cloud bundle. Make it work".

Powerful tool, I'll give it that, but it's downfall is its lack of being comprehensive.

Month 3, here we go.

!rant
How do you use to keep trace/state of a project at work? Teamgantt? Asana? Pipefy? Slack with integrations?

What are you guys using for project / task management?

By you, I mean you or your company. It's about that time to make some changes at our agency.. we currently use asana and are starting to hate it.

Syncing Asana with slack to auto update team when take are complete, no more daily progress reviews

When I was working on the bug list and our testers kept repeatedly assigning me new bugs and "do-overs" I don't think I've ever been so angry