We all know that guy that resolve all the conflicts with a "push --force"

All the time :'D

Am I the only one who's bothered by the fact that in CSS, "!important" doesn't mean "not important" ?

The best prank played in our office was an AutoHotkey script that changed the space character to actually print the word 'space' in all caps.

The next message in Hipchat from the victim was: "WhatSPACEtheSPACEfuck!SPACEMySPACEkeyboardSPACEisntSPACEworking!"

The next time this prank was pulled, ALL symbols were typed out in all caps.

|￣￣￣￣￣￣|
| backup + |
| encrypt all |
| the things |
|＿＿＿＿＿＿|
(\__/) ||
(•ㅅ•) ||
/ 　 づ

|￣￣￣￣￣￣|
| also test all |
| ur backups |
| so u don't |
| lose all ur |
| things |
|＿＿＿＿＿＿|
(\__/) ||
(•ㅅ•) ||
/ 　 づ

Imagine all the variables...

Save all the troubles 😄

Happens all the time 😒

Happens all the time.

All the time everywhere.

All the time

It happens all the time...

Meow all the meows

Once upon a time, there was a coder named Dude. He started working at a company that told him they were innovative and that their code was glorious. This was a lie. He murdered everyone.

The End.

When the boss comes in the office.

I just found new band called "localhost". They recently published their new album named "127.0.0.1" with an awesome song "It works on my machine".

It's awesome :D

“Hybrid is the future, it’s faster to develop, more efficient and has no real downside or impact”

Teacher: Homework for next time is to make 2 web pages with three javascript.
* whole class is quiet *
Me: What's "three JavaScript"
T: undefined
M: Do you mean three files?
T: No, I mean three JavaScript.
M: Okay, so let's go with five CSS and twelve HTML as well then...

Please, go somewhere else when you can't explain your OWN HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT. Holy fuck.

All the shirts... all of them

I have the house all to myself. Twenty years ago, I'd be throwing a party. Today I look forward to all the uninterrupted coding.

Writes the DNA of all the species..

This month's expenses:
- Computer parts to build a new computer.
- Separate video card.
- Hex monitor stand.
- 6 (second hand) monitors

I'm so sorry for my bank account 😥

Every time...

Happens all the time....

It's alive!

I’m surrounded by idiots.

I’m continually reminded of that fact, but today I found something that really drives that point home.

Gather ‘round, everybody, it’s story time!

While working on a slow query ticket, I perused the code, finding several causes, and decided to run git blame on the files to see what dummy authored the mental diarrhea currently befouling my screen. As it turns out, the entire feature was written by mister legendary Apple golden boy “Finder’s Keeper” dev himself.

To give you the full scope of this mess, let me start at the frontend and work my way backward.

He wrote a javascript method that tracks whatever row was/is under the mouse in a table and dynamically removes/adds a “.row_selected” class on it. At least the js uses events (jQuery…) instead of a `setTimeout()` so it could be worse. But still, has he never heard of :hover? The function literally does nothing else, and the `selectedRow` var he stores the element reference in isn’t used elsewhere.

This function allows the user to better see the rows in the API Calls table, for which there is a also search feature — the very thing I’m tasked with fixing.

It’s worth noting that above the search feature are two inputs for a date range, with some helpful links like “last week” and “last month” … and “All”. It’s also worth noting that this table is for displaying search results of all the API requests and their responses for a given merchant… this table is enormous.

This search field for this table queries the backend on every character the user types. There’s no debouncing, no submit event, etc., so it triggers on every keystroke. The actual request runs through a layer of abstraction to parse out and log the user-entered date range, figure out where the request came from, and to map out some column names or add additional ones. It also does some hard to follow (and amazingly not injectable) orm condition building. It’s a mess of functional ugly.

The important columns in the table this query ultimately searches are not indexed, despite it only looking for “create_order” records — the largest of twenty-some types in the table. It also uses partial text matching (again: on. every. single. keystroke.) across two varchar(255)s that only ever hold <16 chars — and of which users only ever care about one at a time. After all of this, it filters the results based on some uncommented regexes, and worst of all: instead of fetching only one page’s worth of results like you’d expect, it fetches all of them at once and then discards what isn’t included by the paginator. So not only is this a guaranteed full table scan with partial text matching for every query (over millions to hundreds of millions of records), it’s that same full table scan for every single keystroke while the user types, and all but 25 records (user-selectable) get discarded — and then requeried when the user looks at the next page of results.

What the bloody fucking hell? I’d swear this idiot is an intern, but his code does (amazingly) actually work.

No wonder this search field nearly crashed one of the servers when someone actually tried using it.

Asdfajsdfk.

You're fucking using a PC.
If you're using an apple product that is a computer (it fucking computes things) and you can use it on your own then it is a personal computer. That's what PC means for the love of #keepDevrantReligionFree
I just saw someone saying that they use neither: Mac nor PC
Upon asking for clarification they said that they are using arch.
Are you fucking kidding me? Do you want to be as "cool" as Apple and refuse to use a name that's used for those kind of devices just to not belong in the same group as others?

"All tasks are on the highest priority".
If all tasks are on priority, nothing is on priority.

Happens all the time.

There is a very big difference between:

"Here is all the code we have working"

And

"Here is all the code we have, working"

Stop putting fucking emojis in your email titles, you look ridiculous!

Just because Facebook/Google/Apple are doing something, it doesn't mean it's the future of technology.

No, we're not going to throw out large parts our perfectly good tech stack just because you liked their latest blog post.

If you wanted to always play "follow the shiny thing", you should have become a jeweller. Please learn what independent thought is and how to apply it, the results might surprise you!

Fire all incompetent teachers and update all the reading materials

Productive day!

Rewrote an intern's feature and briefly explained how/why
Gave intern a choice of projects, and explained them
Removed two unused models, one unused route
Dried up two views into a partial
Redesigned said partial
Tested validation edge cases (ex: Jan 10nd, 101bc)
Fixed an api
Simplified three models
Added scheduling and platform restriction to a feature
Le wild bug appears: a user with negative xp!?
Wrote a migration to expand players' max xp to 2^64-1 because a certain legacy game gives it away like my ex-boss makes promises. Chewed at devs, but they're all long gone so :/
Won two games of pool
Browsed devRant

Busy day, and all of this while falling asleep! 😊
I'm quite proud of myself today.

idiot /ˈɪdɪət/

noun

A person that uses the “Reply All” button to tell everyone not to use the “Reply All” button when a corporate email is accidentally sent to all email users.

Automate all the things 😀

GROW SOME FUCKING BALLS AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY YOU FUCKWIT!
I can't even count how many times I've heard people excuse themselves with sentences like:

"It's not my fault I only got a C, our teacher was shit"

"How can I finish this assignment when the teacher haven't learned me this?"

"I'll be late to work because my dick was stuck in the sink"

(This is a real one I've experienced myself. A teacher said this last week)
"I wasn't able to put up your material for your assignment before now because we're busy with exams" - The day before the assignment was due. Gj.

"He doesn't deserve to get fired, it's not his not at fault for being incompetent"

Then who the fuck is? The government? Your neighbor? My dog? A stray dog?

STFU! I'm so fucking tired of all these excuses! Grow some hair and take responsibility.
The only thing you achieve by not doing so is making everyone else drown in your disgusting vomit your constantly letting out of your mouth.

Hey @Root! I know you won't have time to finish Ticket A before holiday vacation, so work on Ticket B instead.

I finished Ticket A in time. except for converting/fixing some horrible spaghetti monstrosity. More or less: "we overwrote this gem's middleware and now it calls back into our codebase under specific circumstances, and then calls the gem again, which calls the middleware again." Wtf? It's an atrocity against rationality.

The second day after vacation:

Hey @Root, drop Ticket B and work on Ticket C instead. Can you knock this out quick, like before friday? ... Uh, sure. It looks easy.

Ticket C was not easy. Ticket C was a frontend CSS job to add a print button, and for unknown reasons, none of the styles apply during printing. The only code involved is adding a button with a single line of javascript: `window.print()`, so why give it to the chick who hasn't been given a frontend ticket in over a year? Why not give it to the frontend guy who does this all day every day? Because "do it anyway," that's why.

And in somewhere between 13 (now 5) minutes and two hours from now, I'm going to have a 1:1 with my boss to discuss the week. Having finished almost all of Ticket A won't matter because it's not a "recent priority" -- despite it being a priority before, and a lot of work. I've made no progress on Ticket B due to interruptions (and a total and complete lack of caring because I'm burned out and quite literally can no longer care), and no progress on ticket C because... it's all horribly broken and therefore not quick. I assigned it to Mr. Frontend, which I'll probably get chewed out for.

So, my 1:1 with bossmang today is going to be awful. And the worst part of all: I'm out of rum! Which means sobriety in the face of adversity! :<

but like, wtf. Just give me a ticket and let me work on it until it's done. Stop changing the damn priorities every other freaking day!

!rant
I quit my job today for a better one! It was my first job after graduation, been there for 2.5 years so it's a big step for me.
Wish me luck on my new job! :-)

How do people just go about deleting databases when they don't mean to?

"Ah, a database!"
*Flaps hands at the keyboard until something happens*
"Oops, I deleted the database :/"
(*Posts a rant about accidentally deleting the database on devRant*)

🤔

I enjoy coding. Whether it's a language I know or learning a new one. The problem is that I can't actually focus on a language to master or decide on a career path.

Dude
The client has a giant database with all credit and debit cards

ALL INFOS IN FUCKING PLAINTEXT
THE CARD NUMBER
THE CVV
THE EXPIRY DATE

I'M SHAKING AF

All the cheesiness 😂

SO: How to ... in JavaScript?

Answer: use jQuery!

SO: How to ... in JavaScript without jQuery?

Answer: use jQuery!

Me: ffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu I hate j-f*cking-query, I don't want to learn it!!

All the Infinity stones

Why am I always most productive right before end of work day? :/

Happens all the time

A week in code:

Mon: Write all the code💻
Tue: Review all the code🔍
Wen: Fix all the broken code🔴
Thurs: Deploy🚢
Fri: Review all the code🔬

QA: did you test the app first?
Dev: Yes, I test all my code all the time.

*QA crashes the app within first 5 seconds.*

Check out this cool new feature. Double tap the image below. Only works on mobile.

all the damn time

Have all the time and energy to build all my ideas.

Consequences Associated with Burnout:

- sleep deprivation ✅
- change in eating habits ✅
- increased illness due to weakened immune system ✅
- difficulty concentrating and poor memory/attention ✅
- lack of productivity ✅
- poor performance ✅
- avoidance of responsibilities ✅
- loss of enjoyment ✅

Have I just been burnt out and living it as my norm for the past 5 years? 🤡

Let's make an online service where you do all the job and I take all the credit.

Me all the time

This makes me happy!...

Were the fuck are all the rants?!

All this funny shit is 'fun' but fuck. I miss old rants.

The PCs in our school have a software called "Dr. Kaiser" which purpose is to prevent changes to the disk. I thought it's working like DeepFreeze for OSX devices; having a copy-on-write feature or something like that. One day a friend of mine (kinda newbie in hacking) said he wanted to create a backdoor in the system so you can login as the local administrator of the device. He replaced the "sethc.exe" in the windows directory with cmd.exe on a live distro and claimed it was working perfectly. It turned out that "Dr. Kaiser" is indeed loading the default image on startup, but doesn't verify checksums for system files (and also doesn't include the files in the default image). Long story short: You now can open a cmd with System permissions on every PC in the building.

This. Is. Stupid. It should be forbidden to sell this software 😖

Summary: Burnout, and everything's broken.

I don't feel like doing a damn thing today. I look at the code and cringe. I look at Slack and think "ugh. i can't." Mental capitals are even too much work.

(I've started reading "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" to try and combat burnout. I'll write a rant/story about it here if I find it helpful. but all I want to do today is drink tea and read.)

But onto the story:

Heroku is deprecating support for and will automatically upgrade any old verisons of Postgres running on its platform after August something (like five days from now).

I performed the upgrade to PG10 on Sunday (and late into the night), provisioning a new follower, blah blah blah.

However, the version of Rails we're using (4.2.x) doesn't support PG10 sequences, so I manually added in support via a monkeypatch. I did this on our QA servers first, obviously, and everything worked as expected. After half a day of no issues, I did the same on production, and again: everything worked as expected.

But today? I keep hearing about new things that are broken. One specific type of alert doesn't work for one specific person (wat). Can't send [redacted] at all. Can't update merchants! Yet there are magically no errors logged.

That last one (well, two) are just great; let me explain: when there's an error concerning merchants, the error gets caught, isn't logged or recorded anywhere so it just disappears, and the rescue block triggers a json response instead and happily exits. This is for an internal admin tool, so returning a user-friendly error is kinda stupid anyway, but masking what actually happened? fuck that dev with an obelisk made from spikes and solidified pain. That json response is also lovely: it's a 200 OK returning {status: 1, data: "[generic message containing incorrect IT jargon]"}. Doesn't even say "error" anywhere. Bloody everything about this pattern is absolutely wrong. Even the friggin' text.

Fucking hell. I want to pipe the entire codebase into shred and walk out the door.

But I digress. So many things are broken, my motivation is wanning to a sliver, and I have a conference call today where I'll undoubtedly be asked why everything is on smoking and/or on fire, and my huge and overly productive week last week will ofc mean nothing by contrast.

Ugh.

`shred ~/dev/work -zfu -n 32 &; ./brew tea --hot && wine ~/takeabreak.exe`

Update messages done right 😂😂

Simply the best
Better than all the rest

I'm currently looking for an internship related to machine learning (finishing my Msc).
WHY ON EARTH ARE ALL (or at least 80%) INTERNSHIPS PROPOSALS ABOUT BANKS, FINTECH, INSURANCES AND SO ON ?
I mean, we can now create music, identify tumerous cells, generate realistic pictures of anything you could dream of, drive cars without human interaction, create amazing chatbots... But no, I guess all that shit can't make enough money, better work on a system that will refuse you a loan.
Makes me really sad. I mean whats the point of studying the coolest techs around if it is not for the greater good ?
I might be utopist though.

Me : Today we have to demonstrate our progress to client. So remove all the dead code from the project which we had written for debugging.

** Removes all the comments

I went to bed early... Got a strange feeling the next morning... It felt like what other people describe as 'good'.

It's all about the little things. Like getting my first cup of coffee of the day while watching all the AWS alarms trigger one by one.

I'm in my second call from hell today. Passed off first to a teammate to run a meeting. First one started 10 hours ago, this started 5 hours ago. Neither are related. Neither show signs of resolving.

Other teammate is on the same call that started 2 days ago.

Who the hell pissed Murphy off?

Dark mode all the things.

All the time

Today I was talking to my manager about html and css.

As i was explaining certain things about the structure of the files and the naming conventions for the css classes I mentioned the body of the document.....but got...er...distracted...yes distracted...and said booty instead of body.

She started laughing and I made a tomato look pale because of how red I got. I zipped my hoodie all the way up and talked from the hood hole around my face.

Best solution ever.

Ladies and gents, may you all have the motivation to get all of your // TODOs // TODONE

Just imagine how good a .js tld would sell 😂

thats right the server holds all the money

A recruiter's call woke me up today around noon. I'm a professional embedded developer.

Merry Christmas to all the devranters, my thoughts are with all the admins on support today. May the phone never ring.

All the time ,😂

What if we're all expanding with the universe but no one notices cause we all scale up together?

Too many tabs are open.
Firefox is now unresponsive.
:/

group projects suck! I do all the coding someone makes a report and takes all credit😟

To the people talking about boats on the other side of the cubical wall, FUCK YOU! YOU HAVE BEEN TALKING FOR 45 MINUTES! DO YOU WORK? I HOPE YOUR BOATS ALL GET RUST. I worked 12 hours on Sunday, got 4 hours of sleep, pulling a full day, then depending on how much work I get done work all night again. RESPECT MY QUIET ZONE!!! Uncouth peasants!

Paraphrased conversation I saw in a space forum:

dude1: Our galaxy is moving toward a large cluster of galaxies and we don't know why.

dude2: Could it be gravity?

dude1: No gravity isn't strong enough for the distances involved.

dude3: Those galaxies are sexy as fuck. Our galaxy wants to hit that.

dude4: Is our galaxy old enough for a cluster fuck?

WannaCry is here.

ALL THE BUZZWORDS

Sent another developer instructions for generating an SSH key pair and to send me the public key. He did so. There was a problem getting it to work. So, naturally, he emailed me the private key.

I have to stop being awake until 3 AM coding when I have to be at work at 6..

⛔️⛔️⛔️⛔️⛔️⛔️⛔️⛔️
⛔️ SPOILER ALERT ⛔️
⛔️⛔️⛔️⛔️⛔️⛔️⛔️⛔️
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
You've been warned
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
⛔️🚨⛔️🚨⛔️🚨⛔️🚨⛔️
ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK
🚨⛔️🚨⛔️🚨⛔️🚨⛔️🚨
.
.
.
.
.
.
That was an awesome way to end the series!

at a previous job at a shit company ran by bible-thumpers, i was rebuilding the company website for my a-hole boss. I asked him where I should get images from- if there was a stock photo site he preferred or what.
"Just pull them off Google. That's what I do."

Later when I was combing through the site, I saw he'd added images that CLEARLY STATE another COMPANY'S NAME in the image themselves. Nothing like promoting another company on your OWN company website, huh?
(And no, their company name is not ActiveMobi.)

They're still there, 3+ years later. Dumb ass.

recently people have been worried about what people were going to say I.e "no hate" , don't hold back!

In devrant we only mean light hearted banter if we are pissed we don't want to hurt you we are pissed at a thing and not directly at you. Not that I speak for dfox or trogus but I'm sure that's what they are going for, and it's what ive seen!

We are nice here... This isn't YouTube , it's a credit to devs we are nice people. Hell it isn't stack overflow!

Also I'm brutally honest at times but I love you really.

FUCK YOU TUMBLR! I SPEND THE LAST 10 MINUTES UNCHECKING EVERY FUCKING THING AND YOU DON'T ALLOW ME TO TOUCH THE LAST ONE!?
Why is there no uncheck all- button 😤😭

me all the time

All the freshest memes

When a library has all the documentation you'll ever need with all the configuration options but doesn't contain one fucking example on how to put it all together...

Today I finally had to write a function for which the most descriptive name is objectively kill_all_children

I had a great dream where the perfect Linux distro was on my computer (like windows had never been) and I understood it well and the world was right

All the things! 🙌🏼

To all my fellow ranters. A merry christmas to all of you. Wish you all the best.

I registered a new domain two days ago. Today my inbox looked like this:

My work computer is so fucking laggy that even simple typing is often infuriating, and sometimes bloody impossible.

My input gets garbled, or it takes so long that I finish typing and have to wait for it to show up. And sometimes. Sometimes it’s just. I don’t have words. I just typed “merchants”, saw a giant spam of “eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee[...]” and then saw it replaced with “etsmhcaern”. What. The. 🦆.

ALL the time!

Who says the pinky is the most useless of all the fingers??

All these ctrls and alts make my left pinky hurt like hell!!!

Agree?

TL;DR: My devices all hate me and I needed to fix them all.

My Devices really love me.

I rooted my smartphone (LG G5) just yesterday. Everything went fine. Installed TWRP, SuperSU and some nice Apps that utilize root.

Today I was on the go (at CeBIT) and already had the Xposed Installer App on my phone, but didn't attempt installing it yet because I needed my phone for Maps and Messaging and the app had given clear warning about the bricking-potential.

So to the end of the day I get bored, send my last important Messages, installed the Xposed Framework...
... aaaand got stuck in a boot loop.

So I got on my way back home (thanks God I remembered all the trains I needed to take). On the way I had a lot of fun in the Recovery-Terminal and figured that I should be able to fix my phone with no problem at home because the installer made backups (unlike myself).

Coming back home and my pc was still running (should've shut down after installing updates).
The pc behaved odd and I couldn't shut it down properly, which led to cutting the power.
And upon booting my pc I got a ... give it a guess ...
...a bootloop (technically the animation just never ended).

So after I fixed my phone with my spare laptop (just transferred and executed the uninstaller for xposed) I fixed my PC too, which had an old broken dkms-driver.

The odd thing about this is, that this isn't technically a rant. I guess you can confirm that you can't find any swear words.
Because I ENJOYED fixing the devices. I already fixed my pc a couple of times was well as unbricking my rooted phones, so there was fairly little research involved.
I guess I'm now offically twisted.

Now, after my smartphone backups are transferred, I'Ll take my device apart and replace the camera glass which arrived today (and hope, no pray, that my sim card does still work after that)...
... after I blatendly copied a meme to get more attention. 😉

Me, all the time.

Merry Christmas as well to all the people who have to program, monitor servers, fix bugs and all the other stuffs!

Software developer job descriptions really annoy me, they are all the exact same with all the same buzz words throughout >:(.

I've been asked to work a Sunday next weekend; and like an idiot I agreed. Wasting a beautiful summer day inside designing software for a company to push more fast food product and contribution to obesity and diabetes in the world.

This is my life, and I hate it here. I hate this industry. In my 15 years, I once took off for 11 months and lived out of two bags through Asia and Europe. I spent 5 months with just a car driving across America. It's fun, but non-sustainable and I had to find a job afterwards both times.

I need a way out of this cycle. I need to contact professors and get letters of recommendation and get into a PhD program (I have a masters already), but finding the time after exhausting days at work is .. well .. exhausting.

The most I can do after work is go hang out with friends or do something, but if I come straight home, I just fall asleep. I'm tired all the time.

Does anyone want to take this stupid exam for me? I keep missing it on practice exams by 1 question. I'm sad. I know if i gave a damn about this material, i could do it. But i don't give a damn. It's required for my current position but I'm about to switch teams in a few months and will no longer need it.

So, we’ve a small UK based dev team, we follow good practices and get good results. But ‘they’ want to deploy quicker (it was suggested we skip the test phases...) but don’t want to invest in more staff.
So their suggestion is to outsource development to Bangladesh and have us in-house devs work on discovery and innovation.
I’m uncomfortable with this as it feels they are thinking they can get quicker and cheaper dev done abroad (which I hate as it feels disrespectful to my fellow dev brothers n’ sisters).
Also disjointed as in my experience planning and dev’ing work best when you can talk face-to-face.
Thoughts?

All the best

It only took me half an hour to automate something that would have taken me 5 minutes!

How the F do ppl manage to wear suits all day in the middle of summer without sweating all over themselves?

It worked! After all those years I've talked someone into linux'ising all theit workstations :) now that someone is eventually convinced it would solve most of the problems. Now they are collecting all the bau requirements. Next - testing phase. And then, if all works out well - reinstalling 100+ workstations with linux :)

yayyy

If we're all here.. who wrote all the viruses?😐

"All of the buildings, all of those cars were once just a dream in somebody’s head. " - Peter Gabriel

Oh God, guys.
It was the stuff of nightmares! It's going to keep me up forever tonight

Time to learn as mush as i can, Just Made Hello world Programs in 9 languages.
C#
C++
HTML
JavaScript
NodeJS
Perl
PHP
Python2
Ruby

If you Have some other things Tell me And i will try to learn it to

It was a hackathon about this new very interesting totally-not-abused technology called Blockchain, so obviously I ignored everything and focused on picking up this cute tsundere girl (I did).
And somehow still got 2nd place lol  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Today I got called by a someone saying something about my internet but I couldn't actually hear him against the background noise...

I think he mentioned something about having downloaded my internet onto their servers...?

I love open source and all that fun stuff but I am very unimpressed by having to use GNU/Linux based OS after the last fuck up... the lack of games, stuff that actually works, the almost constant need to compile something and the need to have DDG open at all times because something broke. I mean why the fuck do I need to install libcurl3:i386(for 32 bit programs and games) if there is already libcurl4 and why the actual fuck does it conflict?!... Why the fuck do I need to glue together and compile drivers for my printer?! And they only have "beta support" so like half of the functions that the printer would normally have... Why the fuck don't any games work? Witcher 2? Nope, you click launch and the launcher just closes itself. osu!lazor? Nope, the game will run but only as a process in the background, no window will open no matter what I do. StarCraft: Brood War? Nope, Wine hates the battle.net client and running it in a VM is a really bad idea, the game flickers like crazy... Any other games? Pretty much out of luck... I would really like to play KCD but I doubt it would be playable...

That moment when you complete your work and then the client gets arrested and sent to jail and you just sit there mumbling "but my payment...."

True Story. Sadly.

Wishing us all a very Happy New Year 2024 with all the good things 🤝

“3mb JavaScript over dialup” - Before I knew how to write proper JavaScript I once wrote a calendar scheduling app in php that generated all of the functions for all of the buttons for all of the times for all of the days currently being displayed... the result was a 3mb JavaScript file... in the days of dial up modems...

StackOverflow.
The solution to almost all your coding problems.
The solution to all my "coding" ego. 😂

small victories... leaving little fuck you notes all over the code..
along with all the test cunts that still get incremented on the production..

for all the muslim coders

Javascript all the things.

Me all the time

Finally, I can play around with a proper server.
HP ProLiant DL380 G6 = dual 8-core Xenons @ 2.4GHz with 32GB RAM and 12TB / RAID1-0 of WD Purples (we happened to have them for some reason).
Already pissed at HP because they don't support JBOD and already pissed at myself for using CentOS, but other than that, enjoying the hell out of it!

And it's ALL MINE! ... Well, technically it's the org's, but it won't go into production for half a year and I'm the only one with the root access so, for now, it's MINE! 😅

not worth all the money in the world...

We should name the next big pandemic disease IPV-6 just to watch the conspiracy whackos lose their fuckin minds.

Where all the magic starts...

My .pryrc and a Ruby script it loaded (in another directory) both disappeared seemingly without cause. I lost days of work including a bunch of debugging and performance utilities I wrote over the past year.

But I have no clue how this happened. Neither the .pryrc file nor the script’s folder are tracked by git, so it wouldn’t have been deleted, overwritten, stashed and dropped, etc. None of the other dot files are missing, and the folder is still present, albeit with one fewer files. I wouldn’t delete them, and commands that would delete them do not appear in my zsh history. So I’m at a loss. Figuratively and literally.

They’re just. Gone.

Is there any way to recover missing files on OSX?

I never thought I’d need a backup solution for local scripts.

i'm literally the only one in the office today. feelsweirdman

All the hype with Node JS. All the hype with GCP and Datastore. Takes 24h to even get started. But again, what's wrong with me?

Vim. For all the quick things I need to edit and for all the large things too, vim is always a trusty too. Specifically neovim.

How do we make Linux more popular and widely used for all users?

Its all about the mood...

So I was designing a transformer and was looking up toroidal cores. The one I had in mind was made of a material the manufacturer calls “3E5”. Looking for a material datasheet I found a website with a download link for a material “300000”…

Dear web devs: How the fuck is that even possible? I can see what happened here but who thought whatever they were doing there was a good idea?

Neeed.. moree.. ES6!😪

All the time

"Good design is in all the things you notice. Great design is in all the things you don’t." - Wim Hovens

FINALLY, all my dreams have come true, now I can totally say I don't really miss Linux all that much (although I work with Linux all the time, as all my VMs are on Ubuntu).

Obviously, Microsoft has a port of the ssh client and server on windows.

Last week all the sites I'm hosting started acting real strange... Nothing made sense.

One site gave an error telling me that the database couldn't write to disk "insufficient space"...

What? Are you fucking kidding me?

Turns out indexing 14TB of data kinda makes mlocate use a lot of space...

Excluded one folder, optimized the db and voila, from 17GB to less than 1GB...

!dev
This thing is eating away at me so just shut up and listen.

I have started applying for this uni for PhD (don't judge me) and for that, I will need recommendation letters, right? So I emailed two of the people who have already agreed to write me recommendation letters, to confirm the details that I'll give the said uni to contact them. Emails were sent out on Thursday. It's now soon to be Tuesday and I haven't heard a thing back. And this is abso-fucking-lutely killing me!!!! (There's still another to be emailed but he's a bit high and mighty and I'll email him after I get feedbacks from these two about my motivation letter and CV.)

Like, when you know my whole future depends on a single email of yours, saying that I'm a good PhD candidate (and oh boy, that is a joke; considering that I'm applying for literally one of the best unis in this particular subject in the whole world... I'm well over my head, aren't I?) why would you keep me standing on one leg just to confirm your contact details? I mean I know I'm overreacting a bit considering the deadline is yonks away, but still, urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

All the single devvies!

I hate Eclipse.

I have the Student membership for a year but I can't use IntelliJ for my project because I HAVE to use Eclipse.

I'm around 80% - 90% done with my project, so I guess I won't have to deal with it much longer.

To all dark theme lovers:
If you want an IRL dark theme just remove all the windows.

All the uni projects

For whatever ungodly reason my containers library, which has extensive testing, profiling, and benchmarks against other containers libraries receives regular emails directed towards me about it, always one of two things

1) "don't reinvent the wheel" I have to assume these people haven't looked at the performance characteristics or features at all. I didn't waste away weeks of my life. I needed something and couldn't find it anywhere. I'm outperforming many crap implementations by nearly an order of magnitude, and can offer queries upon the containers in both generalized and specialized forms. As an analogy, I made airless 3d printed wheels, and people are regularly telling me I should still be using ancient wooden spoke wheels; they probably would argue in favor of using a horse drawn carriage as well. How is it possible technically minded people can also be so anti-progress?

2) "Please rewrite this in X language." You know what? YOU rewrite it. I chose what I did because it made it easy to do what I needed to do. Hilariously, the languages I get asked to use most often, are the same who's containers libraries perform worst in the benchmarks.

Both sound like half baked developers trying to sound superior. Pull your head out of your ass and actually outperform me and others. I'm so fucking sick of this "all talk no action" bullshit.

Upvoting everything in the bad Dev habit group rant

All the time

So apparently Docker exposes all the forwarded ports on *all* the interfaces, making all running containers available to the entire internet BY DEFAULT.
I have a question:
WHY???

2am. All the things around me are alive. THEYRE ALL FUCKING ALIVE YOU MOTHERFUCKERS THEY ALL HAVE SOULS THEY PERFORM FUNCTIONS THEY ARE ALIVE

if i'm gonna build a toy, like a internet connected teddy bear with a touchscreen in it's belly. What options do I have for the operating system?

Today I see all the "mainstream" news outlets covering Krack and all I can think of is: The news was "breaking" yesterday.

One of my hobbies is to repair stuff.

In front of me is a Xiaomi Notebook air 13.3", a very nicely build device.

But it's driving me nuts, the screen is completely glued onto the front glass.
How the fuck am I supposed to exchange that display with a new one?

The main problem with those devices seems to be the display-cable in the hinge.
It might short 3.3V to 19V backlight, killing the display, the hdmi controller and the audio-chip.

2 ez fixes so far, but that fucken display.
And the absolute worst is that there are 0 official replacement parts available for any of the Xiaomi notebook's.
The fuck!

Unpopular opinion.

TOML sucks

* it does not claim to care about indentation but it actually does
* nested datastructures are a nightmare, especially 'inline' for 'readability'
* oh fuck me everything must be "double quotes"
* booleans always lowercase, there is no "truthy" here.
* Tables are not intuitive at all.

And all this from working with it first time because I had the silly idea to modernize a python project to use pyproject.toml

Oh and don't get me started on pyproject.toml files. The documentation sucks!

Have been playing the pirated version of Rust for 30+ hours with no issues.

Decide to buy the game and every fucking time the game turns into Chrome and consumes all my RAM forcing Windows to show the low on memory dialog.

Lesson learned I guess.

Gotta love the IoT.

They set up a new surveillance camera in the company, that can stream live footage over the network and that little shit picked the IP adress of a coworker one day AFTER being set up.
Hurray for static routing. Hurray to the person who didn't disable DHCP on the router (Should probably configure my PC to use a static IP as well lel)

Anyways, this happened outta nowhere when I, the only guy who knows shit about IT and is usually present at yhe office, wasn't there and could not connect remotely.

The other, remote programmer, who set up the network, could guide the coworker to get a new IP but, he was worried that we got ourselves an intruder.

Since nobody told me yet that we (should) have static routing, I thought there was a mastermind at work who could get into a network without a wifi-access point and spoof the coworker in order to access the some documents.

The adrenaline rush was real 😨

Scanning the network with nmap solved the mystery rather quickly but thought me that I need to set up a secure way to get remote access on the network.

I would appreciate some input on the set up I thought of:
A raspberry Pi connected to a vpn that runs ssh with pw auth disabled and the ssh port moved.
Would set up the vpn in a similar fashion.

"Good design is in all the things you notice. Great design is in all the things you don’t." - Wim Hovens

Nowadays for my responsibilities all am thinking is maybe I can write a script for that

Hmmmm. Just looked at my security log for my outlook account. A bunch of unsuccessful sync attempts... from China, from South Africa, from Colombia, from Poland, from Vietnam, and from Brazil. All of them IMAP attempts. Good to know my password isn't compromised, but I think I'm going to reset it and double it's length, just to be sure.

Happy birthday to the best community for developers. Thanks for all the laughs, friends and good times you have brought us all.

Every time we have finished a project and deployed it the first time at least half of the components are outdated already 😒 Even if we worked only 2 weeks on something.

I hate Murphy's law!

Hi all. I'm new here. I hope I'm in the right place to ${whateverReason} with ya all.

How our MIS/IT department handles problems...

Once upon a time a long time ago, a C level suit opened ransomware from an email with a link in it via Dropbox.

Two years in, even the marketing department, who are all using iMacs for digital media creation, inbound marketing, and website development, and alsohave more common sense than the lowly Excel minions, are still blocked from using Dropbox.

Thank god for Socks5 Proxying and an SSH tunnel to our web server. ;) I can has all the things.

!rant

mods are asleep.

all aboard the ++ train

How to:
++ all the comments in the thread. once you reach the end, post a comment. only post one comment. board the train.

some days are very frustrating , i had a task today in which client want a page where he can add bulk of car details on the same page.
now jquery fucked me.
I want to do something to release stress. Why do I get stuck at shitty problems sometimes ?
Damn I'm a noob programmer

The dev before me stored all the emails and passwords as plain text in the database. This is not good. Not good at all.

That moment when it's midnight and you have to wake up in 6 hours but suddenly you think about a way of fixing a bug that a library that you really need and is no longer being maintained has... sigh.

When you have all the takeout menus so everyone has to bother you all the time

Friend asked me to redo her website, all the code is against the left margin... no div tags are named... all the naming is done in the css...

All these websites in one server, when the Big One comes, they all go down...

I see a lot of great desk setups but none like all the marketing stock photography I keep seeing that tells me I’m a loser if I don’t have an all glass office and all the most expensive stuff.

Argh, stupid Apple. Working from home but enough USB C cables yet to attach all my displays so stuck to only 1 external screen... Why change all the connectors all the time!

Goddammit Google, SWIPE to automate an email response? I AM NOT A COG IN YOUR MACHINATIONS.

I am human! Flesh and blood! You reduce me to some variable in your algorithm and you ignore the very nuance that separates me from your cold unfeeling advertising factory.

Lately, all I see is ppl postings gifs instead of ranting...

So, choose a team:

Team Hard G

Or

Team Soft G

I guess I should relate what work experience I have: my internship.

A little backstory I suppose. It's required at my school to do an internship to graduate except under certain circumstances. They encourage work experience a lot where I study. It was around time for me to apply for internships. However, the closest I got was a phone call with Amazon that I biffed when they started asking about stuff like sorting algorithms and other Big O notation stuff. So I was pretty desperate. I found a small company that were looking for internships and got an interview with them. The pay was dirt (I made more as a crew trainer at McDonalds) but I needed that internship and they were only 10 minutes away.

Immediate red flags when I showed up to the address. At first I thought I was wrong, But I noticed the sign of the company pointing up some stairs that were installed on the side of the house I was in front of.

Interview was a bit weird. It was with the CEO and the marketing manager. Again red flags. I show up for work a week later.

Turns out, they have no full time developers. 1st day was getting my workstation ready and 2nd day I was running Ethernet cables to the basement where the phones were connected. Spent around a week doing that.

This was supposed to be a Software Engineering internship?? Excuse me?? I came here to learn how working on Software is supposed to be like! I was also their "tech support" both for their computers and their crappy software that was built 16 years ago that people still pay for that I had NO idea how it worked because I just started and NOBODY taught me anything! To make matters worse, even if I wanted to delve into the code to see how it works it was all made in ancient Perl which didn't make things any easier.

But I needed that internship to graduate. And thus begun my 9 months with them and boy howdy I have stories to tell. Stay tuned in the future.

So I'm a developer trainee. My development machine ? - was given a MacBook pro that was used by previous developer. The home screen is filled with random project files and documents.

Try to click on the pad, doesn't work, realized you have to press it real hard on side to click , wth, crappy touchpad. Back to setup.

I guess create a new account. Need to make an apple ID, heck no, create account without it, logon and just realized, shit all the tools need be installed..

Go to app store, need an apple id, heck.. , create an id, login, realize most of the tools aren't in app store...
Log back in crazy's account, power windows virtual machine..

Desktop filled with shyteload of files.. try to personalize windows, Windows isn't activated.. the heck.

Give up, just install vscode on corporation desktop machine for now, while the MacBook is a paperweight, and my shield in case of a gun situation

Better I see the crazy Dev who worked on this machine, and hit em in head with this paperweight.

Double meta.

Can't wait for the first iot, iot framework

What is the most straightforwardest solution in the entire history of the world..??

My head : Putting prints all over the fucking universe ..

If at all debugging was algorithmic like that..

bitch, i AM the developer

still love how the most important part of a TECH SaaS (the developers) are always just a commodity "ah just send it off"

meanwhile the dashboards of all these tools for the "business types" are all absolute garbage

the world's all backwards

revenge of the nerds continues until moral improves

"all these high schoolers can't see others' active directories... but they're all RWX on the Students group all students are in. Also the up button shows everyone's ADs from any student's, but no one will ever press that!"

!rant
In the past 2 days I worked a lot, now I slept 12 hours straight. I don't have any tickets left, and the manager told me to have fun. I haven't felt such freedom in a while.
(The project will be late by a year in February, so until now I always had at least 2 urgent tickets related to topics that I've never heard of before.)

We are the all knowing all seeing crap of the world