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urzq373yI'm sorry for you. You are on a difficult position :( Don't give up on medical treatment, you need help. Don't be too hard on you.
rehman16403yI'm sorry that you're going through all of.this, I would say stay strong and have some spare time to think about why are yiu fearing tbat much.
hope you'll figure ot out and then focus on your job
nanl24653yI imagine you are feeling overwhelmed. Depression and anxiety treatment sometimes take months, but don't give up. While working, try to focus on one small task at a time. Meditation is also good to improve focus and help on anxiety symptoms.
I was going through this a couple of years ago and am just now coming out of it. I was so stressed on my last job that I couldn't even remember to put gas in my car. I would overhear the other devs talking about how bad I was as a dev and it was soul crushing. I could not get a new job, because my confidence was shot and I had gotten overweight. I was working 60 to 70 hours a week and knew my boss was wanting to fire me. Anyway I know how you feel and I hope us dev rant peeps can provide hope.