"Oh c'mon, my 14 yr old son can change background color of entire website and you're charging me extra for simple face detection feature?"

Ethical question: would you work for one of the tech titans for the money they offer? Remember they're involved in lots of shady shit ;)

*finishes MATLAB course*
My blanket when I wake up and think about my expired license which I won't renew:

I was asked to mentor a new joinee.
As she is new i dont mind the bad code and offer suggestions in code reviews.
She doesn't know how to use .map, .filter and lots of other basic js stuff.
Claims she has completed work on tickets when it's clearly not completed.
I end up looking like an asshole for pointing out her incomplete work before her long leave.
Find out she's actually getting paid significantly more than me as she's an 'experienced frontend dev'.

Fml

For a second i thought it wrote me "lets cross you off the list" and was scared like WTF am i abojt to get swatted????

So my car has a problem with a steering column lock. Sometimes the actuator pops an error and it does not unlock until I clear that buggar. Carrying a lappy with vag-com seems somewhat annoying so I got a obdeleven bluetooth dongle with am app.

Once you get it to work it works perfectly. Have been using it for a few years now. It's like a half a year or so since it got a last update and it's been stable as a rock since.

Today me and my fam took a night out with a car. Drove here, drove there, had fun. Time to go home, as the little one is getting sleepy. Got in a car, insert a key, turn it -- no ignition. Damn that steering lock!

So I pop in a dongle, open the app, hit connect,... Wait, what is that? A toast with "a new update is available. [[update now]] [[cancel]]".

Cancel ofc, I need to go home asap! Will gladly get the update when the kiddo is in his bed!

[[cancel]]. The toast disappears. Okay, now [[connect]]

"a new update is available. [[update now]] [[cancel]]"

mother f#$@%!!! Allright already, [[update]] it ffs.

Updated the app. Now [[connect]].

Loading.. Loading... "could not connect to device"

tfq?!?

Reinsert the dongle, connect
restart the app, connect
restart the phone, connect
clear all bt devices, connect
do the rain dance, connect.

Permission to panic: GRANTED.

Dear devs. If you are rolling out an update -- never ever EVER make it non-postponable, non-cancelable. No matter how critical, your updates must NEVER be mandatory.

Oh my gawd, it's only been years since this should have been a thing.

But today, since no ones beat me to it, let me share Github's official mobile app - currently taking beta signups for both IOS and Android.

https://github.com/mobile

Whatsapp from my mom:
"Hey, what means 'user defined' in WhatsApp?"

Me: "Depends. Where do you see it?"

Her: "Beneath user info and number"

Me: "Press the Power Button and Volume Down and send me a screenshot please, I have no clue"

Her: "What is the Power Button?"

SERIOUSLY???

Just heard that another guy at my former job also had enough. He was also given a notice to explain his workplace behavior. And like me, he also decided to resign his position too.

He has stuck it out a year earlier than me. So he knew the BS that was going on way before I joined the company. The shouting match between the back end dev and the DB admin last couple of weeks ago was the straw that broke his back. He is fine with the management being all panicky and toxic. But after witnessing the meltdown in the dev team he concluded that working there was a lost cause. I admire his patience for putting up with more BS than me.

He said the same things to HR the things I've said: they already have the tech lead, the operations manager, and consultants to tell the management that they're mismanaging the dev team. But they don't listen, so a senior dev such as himself would only be talked down as I was.

I forgot to mention that the six-day workweek back there was also a violation of our contracts. We signed up for five. But I didn't think it was an important matter to discuss here as I would want to place emphasis on the fact that the entire team was burned out from the six-day workweek. And I didn't want to be roped into the muh lates and absences argument as far as the contract is concerned.

But he had enough. He has been passing around resumes and so far he got at least one offer. More power to him tbh.

The Scrum Master lamented that everyone's being emotional and trigger happy; that the management is too eager to see results for workflow reforms that only happened two months ago and fears that his processes would not work out.

Back-end dev already wrote off Agile as "institutionalized chaos" because of the bypassed processes.

With honesty I miss the team, I miss the chemistry, and I miss working on the apps. They were very well made. Clean architecture, Dagger DI, reactive programming, great use of higher order functions, and a well-written ProGuard. App is beautiful and it has a lot of potential to earn and make a positive difference to people. It's just that management has implemented too many bad decisions outside of development. Except that one incident where we incurred some 10 or 20 grand in debt for using an expensive API instead of using the cheaper one because big boss insisted on it. Or so I heard.

As it turns out, the product vision wasn't enough to justify enduring all the drama. With respect I disagree with the tech lead for considering our reasons for leaving as petty. We have our own limits.

For myself, if I had to endure a day longer in those working conditions I will have to be chucked into a psychiatric ward. My local parish churchgoers have been complaining to the head cantor that I have been acting strange already. Keep in mind that the ones complaining of my odd behavior are trads as crazy as I am!

We also have this business partner who actually confided with the back-end dev: that the board should really take it easy on the dev team. He said the exact same thing!

Man, that constant needling sensation of being watched over for the slightest mistakes exhausted us.

Ops guy and I did tell each other that we wanted to write in Medium about the serious blunders management was doing. But we decided it wasn't worth the hassle. They're not gonna examine their conscience. They're just gonna come knocking to our house with a freaking lawsuit or make it look like we are the whiny guys.

Fortunately tech lead seems to respect my wish not to be asked about anything about my former job. We just banter in the shitposting chat about different tech things.

Glad I am off that drama train now.

SO is paying bonus

My current project's codebase is apparently 750 lines now, without a single penny being made on it yet. It's a megaproject that'll hopefully someday become the start of a business. But a lot remains to be done still... The upfront cost is massive. Half a year of work already went into it.

Well my hacktoberfest Tshirt just got shipped. This is quite sooner then i expected. Last year it was 15 december. So yeah getting it very soon. So hyped.
The design is flawless. Just absolutely amazing.

Dear client:
You have to think this is like building a house, so you have to spend time doing some serious thinking, so you come up with a (somewhat) good vision of what you want and what could possible change in the future... let me give you an example: let's say we were building a house and we are very close to finishing it, so you come up with the great idea of putting the kitchen where the living room is, and the bathroom in the second floor where the TV room was... if that happens, then I would tell you to go fuck yourself.
See dear client... there are pipes, wiring, and all sorts of stuff you don't see, that makes a house be a house... apply the same logic to building software and we'll be on the same page more often.
PS: I appreciate your business

50,000+ lines of javascript later - have not written the word "function" once - nor the word "class"

Where do I even start?

Personal projects?
So many. Shouldn't count.

Unpaid game dev intern?
Unpaid game dev volunteer?
Both worthwhile, if stressful. Shouldn't count either.

Freelancing where clients refused to pay?
That's happened a few times. One of them paid me in product instead of cash (WonderSoil, a company that [apparently still] makes and sells some expanding super potting soil thing). The product turned out to be defective and killed all of the plants I used it on. I'd have preferred getting stiffed instead. Their "factory" (small, almost tiny) was quite cool. The owner was a bitch. Probably still is.

Companies that have screwed me out of pay?
So many. I still curse their names at least once a month. I've been screwed out of about $13k now, maybe more. I've lost track.

I have two stories in particular that really piss me off.

The first: I was working at a large robotics company, and mostly enjoyed my job, though the drive was awful. The pay wasn't high either, but I still enjoyed the work. Schedule was nice, too: 28 hours (four 7-hour days) per week. Regardless, I got a job offer for double my salary, same schedule, and the drive was 11 minutes instead of 40. I took it. My new boss ended up tricking me into being a contractor -- refused to give me a W2, no contracts, etc. Later, he also increased my hours to 40 with no pay increase. He also took forever to pay (weeks to months), and eventually refused to pay me to my face, in front of my cowokers. Asshole still owes me about $5k. Should owe me the the difference in taxes, too (w2 vs 1099) since he lied about it and forced me into it when it was too late to back out.

I talked to the BBB, the labor board, legal council, the IRS (because he was actively evading taxes), the fire inspector (because he installed doors taht locked if the power went out, installed the exit buttons on the fucking ceiling, and later disconnected all of said exit buttons). Nobody gave a single shit. Asshole completely got away with everything. Including several shady as hell things I can't list here because they're too easy to find.

The second one:
The economy was shit, and I was out of a job. I had been looking for quite awhile, and an ex-coworker (who had worked at google, interestingly) suggested I work for this new startup. It was a "reverse search engine," meaning it aggregated news and articles and whatnot, and used machine learning to figure out what its users are interested in, and provided them with exactly that. It would also help with scheduling, reminders of birthdays, mesh peoples' friends' travel plans and life events, etc. (You and a friend are going on vacation to the same place, and your mutual friend there is having a birthday! You should go to ___ special event that's going on while you're all there! Here's a coupon.) It was pretty cool. The owner was not. He delayed my payments a few times, and screwed me over on pay a few more times, despite promising me many times that he was "not one of those people." He ended up paying me less than fucking minimum wage. Fake, smiling, backstabbing asshole.

The first one still pisses me off more, though, because of all the shit I went through trying to get my missing back pay, and how he conned me every chance he got. And how he yelled at me and told me, to my face, that he wasn't ever going to pay me. Fucking goddamn hell I hate that guy.

Log into tech support community website...

Get prompted to change password because my current one is too old...

Paste in the same password I already am using...

ACCEPTED!

The display in public communication bus, a pretty detailed timetable

Your "feature" just became my problem. Your "great idea" is now my migraine. What you did in 300 lines, another team was already doing in 5.

The next time you `brew install...` on your laptop, you should fucking think that the infra team has to install those dependencies, on every server, too.

In less time than it took you to create your code, I could have given you several functions to call. I could have saved all of us weeks of work. Fucking ask cross-team before you cowboy code your next big idea please.

Got a problem you need to be solved, somebody else probably solved it, just fucking ask.

Feels so good... gave up all the hope but last commit got it working tho

We did retrieve the whole list 20 lines ago, didn't we?
Well, who cares... Let's retrieve it again IN A LOOP, im EACH ITERATION.
and then for good measure lets make another query for each item, each time we retrieve the list. Why not?

I have to make an effort not to swear right now. I have been asked to optimize a particular oiece of code...

Ffs