My friend (not in CS) said his computer was a bit slow.
I told him I'd fix that for 10, he agreed.

I increased the cursor speed.
He bought it.

*This morning*
HR Lady: we saw your profile and we think it fits what we're looking for, I just need to know what you use for front-end programming

Me: I use ReactJs, AngularJs and for backend NodeJs

HR Lady: Hmm, so you don't use Javascript

Me: ... (unhandled exception in my head)

Me: M'am everything I mentioned is using Javascript

HR Lady: oh! ok.

Company wide ban on headphones at desks, because how can people be working if they're listening to music? Never felt so miserable in my life.

Fuck fuckitty fuck, with a side order of bollocks. May the senior management of this tight arsed tin pot cowboy outfit of a company all sleep soundly at their desks until Doomsday while the rest of us keep them in business. See, I'm not bitter...

Customer: URGENT, one sidebar is odd on that particular page on IE11
Me: *fixes the bug*
Me: New version will be available by next week

One week later

Customer: *does a negative review*
Customer: It is not working.
Me: *verify my fix is working* -> it does
Me: *verify my fix is available on his installation* -> it is
Me: Please upgrade the "Portal" module.
Customer: How do I do that ?
Me: In the list of installed modules, find "portal" and click "upgrade".
Customer: I did update the "Website" module, it is still not working.
Me: ...

What y'all up to?

Can someone explain the pricing for DO, AWS, or any other cheap hosting? DO $15 bucks for 1 database or multiple database in one server? AWS S3 or E2? Or should I stick with Heroku $7 (Web App server) and $9 for Postgres database?

Wow, didn't think about it like that 😂

Look! Buzzword wall!

Please don't hurt your editor's feelings

Hertz the car rental company wanted a new website. They hired accenture. Accenture did allegedly a poor job. The site did not come with responsiveness, not with web components and 2 years over deadline. Hertz sues Accenture for $38+ million.

Scope creep deluxe?

print('I love U world !!')

I'm back !! After being fired from my job (read my prev rants) , after a week they called me and told me that I can return! (If only I promise that I'll control my curiosity and i'll never make the same mistake ever again)
It is just like a dream !!

I'm really glad that I listened to your advice and didn't do anything stupid :)

I'm so exhausted lately ... Anybody know workaround / bugfix?

What the fuck is this one-way interview bullshit?

"The organization you are interviewing with has come up with a series of interview questions that they have requested you to respond to. This is an on-demand interview which means that you'll be recording your video interview answers at your convenience as long as you submit them before the deadline." -- sparkhire.com

Like seriously?
What if I have questions? I have plenty, and I find those questions considerably more important than whatever bullshit gotchas the company wants to annoy me with.

One-way interview.
Fucking really.

At least have the decency to talk to me.

HOW THE FUCK DO I FUCKING INSTALL OPENCV YOU FUCKING CUNTS HOW ABOUT TO MAKE THINGS FUCKING SIMPLE PIECES OF SHIT CUNTS FUCK OFF

At first I thought, damn there is something wrong with my phone, it sounds odd.

No I think one of my ears has stopped working. :-(

Damn ageing !

Was fine last night before I went to sleep..

Maybe a reboot tonight might make it magically work fine tomorrow..

I miss stereo..

This will degrade my performance in 3D shooters if I can't figure out where that bullet which just missed me came from !

Also makes it harder to code games with sound too..

It's strange what you can learn when you have too much deadtime.

Last week I learned balloon twisting through youtube videos. A co-worker and I decorated the desk of a co-worker for her birthday.

I made her this balloon throne (from Game of Thrones). Notice that I was soooooo bored.

She loved it ^_^

Wait. When did that happen?! Am I crazy?

Why are you expected to have people management skills as your experience grows? I don't want to deal with people, I just want to deal with my code 😢😫

Fine, this might be the important sticker for any fine user...

What is gay.js?