lols, just salute

I once changed all my error messages to say “Processed successfully” because I had a demo yet the software was very buggy.

I bought myself time to fix the bugs later.

#demoHack

So a fucking friend of mine makes me meet this fella who is a big shot according to his LinkedIn and please note has too much experience with Web Apps and Python

Me being naive actually trusted that and I meet him.

Fella: So what do you do?
Me: I am into Cyber Security nothing much I just do bug hunting for now
Fella: You know python will help you right?
Me: Sorry?
Fella: You see you have to be a python programmer for anything you want to do in CS
Me: Me yeah I kinda know python actually I am more into Ruby from start so ( Around this time I kinda sensed that he is a fake tech guy he is a corporate asshole)
Fella: show me any of your work
Me: (So to show him one of the thing I was working on I open GitHub desktop app) Me explaining blah blah blah
*Fella is in shock*
So at this point I was thinking probably he is impressed and that's why the shock right?

No a big fucking no
Apparently he never heard about GitHub or git and got blown away by the interface.

And the friend who made me meet that guy is not my fucking friend anymore that prick can die for ruining my day

CLI > GUI

I am now a truck.

There is this guy at work who says "jit" instead of "git": "we have a separate jit repository for this".

I am torn between staying amused and telling him.

true dat (even though I don't understand what most of the updates do)

Me: oh awesome, wine 4.0 hit stable. Let's compile and see how fast we can break it!

*./configure && make*

Ok... Ok... It's been 40 minutes... Ok... Yep still going cool cool...

I think I need a new PC guys...

I need some advice: How could you stop laughing at a meeting? Help!

Yesterday, in a meeting with the development team, my boss accidentally wrote "Puto System" on the board (of course, I cannot post the real name of the project). For those who don't speak spanish, "Puto" means "asshole".

Oh, I laughed so fucking hard XD Well, we continued with the meeting, but I couldn't stop laughing, and then, I was going to ask a question about one of my tasks, and accidentally said "hard" instead of "boubt" (in spanish "dura" instead of "duda") and all of us laughed again.

At the time I'm writing this post I can't remember that without laughing, help! I need to get serious :'v

Got cold hands in class. So I decided to test the meme.
I put my hands under my laptop's vent and installed Android studio.
My hands are no longer cold.

When a programmer casts a spell...

Corporate computer with autofill for password to secured document system. Just typed in the console Document.getElementById('password').value to print it out.

Am now l33t h@ckzor?

Perfect game for programmers 😂

DevRant! Please allow markdown; see photo below.

When scammers want to follow GDPR regulations - the worst SCAM ever 🤦‍♂️

Long story:
I have just received a SMS message, informing me that my phone number is in several marketing databases. It also had a link to the website called stop-sms.pl, where you're supposed to be able to unsubscribe from those lists. At this moment I felt a little bit confused - the SMS seemed suspicious, but on the other hand who doesn't want to get rid of all this SMS crap. So I carefully followed the link to see the website with a form to fill with personal data - phone number included 😆 If that is not enough to realize that this is just a lame scam website, just below the input where you enter the phone number there are Terms and Conditions where it directly states that: "By filling the form you agree that your personal data (name, email, phone number) will be used for marketing purposes." - WTF?!

Who the f... gets fooled by such crap?! 😂😂😂

I just explained to the 'lead developer' at my job what a testing environment is.

Friend of mine was annoying me by sending Facebook games invites... So I made a bot which gently asks him to subscribe to PewDiePie

Has anyone ever taken one of these archaic language assessments for a job? I work with PHP/Laravel for a living and yet was answering questions on how to connect to a Oracle database and what all happens after a user calls mysqli_switch_user(). I finished in the mid tier range considering the job is for a laravel developer I was surprised to find not one question regarding the framework. Correct me if I’m wrong but I don’t think this generation of PHP developers who are deeply rooted in the frameworks have an on spot memory of raw Oracle database consumption or the many different ways of changing user sessions through an entanglement of sessions and cookies. When I first got involved in symfony and laravel, My biggest fear at the time was that I would forget how to use PHP without all of the tooling and now I guess I was right

Company is about to get certified to ISO 9001:

Kick-off meeting with consultant announced weeks ago, mandatory for all employees.
Everyone is kind of joking about it, but also looking forward to certain workflows maybe changing to the better.

Two hours before meeting, told by CTO not to attend.

Some code I hadn't touched for half a year needs urgent patching to make the equipment pass EMC test (doing so within a few hours would help us save the lab cost for another day of testing).

When they applied RF noise to the bus lines, the CAN peripheral would glitch and need reset, this should happen covertly the first few times without raising any error to the user, so they could just finish the testing without being disturbed by the error - and the EMC lab will not test the functionality of the device after all.

The irony when you were actually supposed to learn about quality that day...

James: Your windows dev machine is setup and now ready.

Me: Checks if something is missing...

Me: [ installs notepad++] ... it’s perfect now!!!