New for avatars - emotions! You can now change your facial expression on your avatar to better capture your dev mood! Getting expressions working right turned out to be quite the undertaking due to the ripple effect of the various layers that each expression touched so our total layers just for men ballooned out from 300 layers to 1100. And @dfox re-architecting how layers work to handle the interconnectedness of expression meant tying together facial expression, skin tone, facial hair, and hair color to make sure everything stays in sync. It’s a fun new addition, I hope everyone enjoys!

I also want to apologize for the delay in getting this out, I meant to have this done ages ago but I got thrown a curveball at work and was laid off back in April and have been super stressed running around trying to find a new job for the past 3 months. I figured I’d have more free time to work on devRant, but hunting for work is so exhausting, it’s really taken its toll emotionally and financially (no unemployment benefits because according to my state even though we lose money every month “you’re still a corporate officer”). Things are finally looking promising on the job search front, and I expect once things get back to normal @dfox and I can get our release velocity back up, but until then, please bear with me.

P.S. If you have the resources, we certainly do appreciate your support with devRant++ Your monthly contributions really do make a difference! Thanks all!

So when I joined this community, I was bit embarrassed because I am a tester and everyone around was a dev.

But I was wrong. I was welcomed here with a warm heart. I got love beyond expectations.

In those early days, all I wanted was enough votes so that I could afford my favourite t-shirt and matching shoes in avatar builder.

Not only I got those, but some free sticker swag and soon enough the squishy ball.

I made friends and I openly brag in public that I have some awesome friends from around the globe.

An angry yet down to earth German ranter.

The Pink Goddess.

The script master Brit.

The sysadmin enganeer from Belgium.

The account deleter from Australia.

Some awesome Muricans.

The privacy guy from the Netherlands.

Sysadmin from Sweden.

French, Swiss, Japanese, Indonesian, Burmese, Swedish, South Koreans, Middle Eastern, Fillipino, and even some fellow crazy Indians as well.

I am fucking proud to call you all my friends.

Upvotes hardly matter to me. Interaction is what I am here for. And you guys make me feel at home even though I am tester.

Founded the Team Raven and Lol club. The random mention activity was also fun.

But never did I thought I would reach the 4th top ranter position. Beating the master in his own game? Lol.

What next? I look forward to meet you all in real life. Thank you David and Tim.

Thank you devRant 😊

I'm really not much of a drinker, but last night I was apparently.

I thought I played video games until I passed out on the couch and was carried to bed.

This morning, my laptop reveals to me that I had an idea for a web app last night because I made a very misspelled, yet highly detailed to do list for the app, a very blank index file, and 37 open tabs of what looks like research for certain web features.

Project seemed to be some sort of organization thing with a lot of really random and unrelated features like "fruit meterr that scales different fruits you earn" (what does that even mean??) and "sassy bill reminder".

I'm closing out all the tabs I had opened, when I see the tab showing the domain name I chose and bought. I even got the SSL certificate and email domain purchased.

Drunk me seemed to have been really excited about this idea 😶

Client: Why is this not working?

Me: Because the feature expect a...

Client: I sure hope you won’t expect your client to want to know all these teach behind this feature, as a client, I just expect it to work.

Me: Ok...

Client: So why isn’t it working now? WHY?

Me: 🤦🏽‍♂️

Client: I need a response!

Me: It is not working because...

Client: Stop telling me logics!! I just want it to work. Why isn’t it working...

Me: It is not working because I fucked up. It will work after I fix it.

Client: Why isn’t it working though... I don’t understand why...

Me: Just let me fix it and it will work...

Client: Why can’t you tell me why... it’s not good communication... (hangs up)

God fucking hell.

My mother ONCE AGAIN wants that I send some pictures she took of something to her friends via email.

I asked why she doesn't finally learn it herself and she seriously answered: "Do you really think I would learn that for the few occasions I need it?"

I answered: "Obviously, you need it much more often than you think."

Silence.

Fast forward a couple of hours - You can see she is angry and talks in a passive aggressive sounding voice. I asked her what's wrong. Big mistake.

She said that it is sad that I don't just help her when she asks me to do something without complaining about it. Then she continued to say things like "And that while I do EVERYTHING for you!" and such bullshit.

Great, mother. You once again completely failed at being a mother by bringing in your regular not even nearly respectful behavior as an argument for a onesided discussion.

You know, if you were actually nice, you wouldn't do this shit everytime something doesn't go as you wanted it to turn out. Someone who is actually nice would not act like you and use it for a sad try of blackmailing their children into doing things for them because they are too stupid and lazy to finally learn to do it themselves. Also you would fucking notice that I am doing things for you all the FUCKING TIME. But sadly you are just a fucked up excuse for something that everyone should have, a loving mother that behaves respectfully.

I'm glad when I'm finally gone and you are all alone, without any friends, without anyone to command around, without anyone to spread your disease of bad mood and emotional poison. No one who will help you all the time with such easy and simple things as tapping 4 buttons on a phone you wanted so badly but don't care learning how to use. And the greatest part is, you will just be completely unable to do anything in the digital world because you are too stupid and lazy to learn anything.

You will probably kill yourself when I'm finally gone, as you once threatened me before I ran away from home for the second time, because your last child left you and cut any communication to you.

In a way I am happy that you are unable to do anything on your own that includes digital media. This way I am looking forward to your sad, boring and fucked up rest of your life. Well, if you don't fake another "almost"-stroke. But even then I will leave.

Have fun alone.

Me: That's not how browsers work.

Designer: Well, our users need it.

Me: Uh, I'm not arguing with your idea, but no browser supporters that kind of thing

Designer: Well, figure it out because it's not optional.

Me: ... I'm not disagreeing with you, I'm saying that's not something we can do.

Designer: So, what will it take? What do we need to do to get this in?

Me (not actually): motherfucker this isn't a negotiation! I'm not arguing I'm fucking explaining the limitations of web apps!

Let's get rid of the developer training: Pair Programming

Let's get rid of the software testers: Test First Programming

Let's get rid of the project managers: Agile

Let's get rid of the project planners: Scrum

Let's get rid of the system admins: DevOps

Let's get rid of the security guys: DevOpsSec

Let's get rid of the hardware budget: Bring Your Own Device

Let's get rid of the servers: Cloud Computing

Let's get rid of the other scruffy guys: Outsourcing

Let's get rid of the office space: Home Office

Let's get rid of the whole fucking company: Takeover

Finally!
I installed gitlab at our company. I ranted about not using any version control whatsoever in the past but now it happened!

My boss wanted to see a project I was working on for himself so I copied the project to a usb drive and gave it to him. I used git for the project locally and I told him to use this too if he changes anything. And that it would be a great idea to have this centralised on our server. He agreed and I told him he just had to give me the order to implement it. He was like "go ahead" and one hour later we had a gitlab up and running.
We will have some internal training to do and then we are in the 21st century!

I'm so happy right now.

Got my new workstation.
Isn't it a beauty?

Rocking a Pentium II 366 MHz processor.
6 GB HDD.
64 MB SDRAM.
1 minute of battery life.
Resolution up to SXGA (1280x1024)
Removable CD-Rom drive.
1 USB port (we like to use dongles, right?)

Also it has state of the art security:
- No webcam
- No Mic
- Removable WiFi
- I forgot the password

And best of all:
It as a nipple to play with!!

Our current designer is convinced that 00FF44 bright green fits well with the rest of our soft purple/blue color scheme.

I am not a designer, but have worked in a color laboratory, so I've tried time and time again to explain CIE LAB color space, and how at least HCL is a good way to pick & group colors into palettes by using 2-3 luminances for equidistant hues while keeping chroma constant.

I've tried to tell him that the bright green almost physically makes my eyes bleed, because humans are quite sensitive to greens.

He just keeps using the phrase "but it makes the buttons pop nicely".

I just want to pop his skull open with my keyboard. 😫

Friend: Atom
Me: Vs Code

Friend: Light theme
Me: Dark theme

Friend: I believe there's some kind of energy that rules our destiny.
Me: Haha, seriously, no

Friend: (Starts telling me about some proposal of how he's going to build something).
Me: Yeah that's not going to work.
Friend: (Gets angry and proceeds to explain his idea on a whiteboard)
Me: Ahhhh yeah, sure it looks great
Friend: Dammit!!

Me: (I start telling him about some proposal of how I'm going to build something).
Friend: Yeah that's not going to work.
Me: (I get angry and proceed to explain my idea on a whiteboard)
Friend: Ahhhh yeah, sure it looks great.
Me: Dammit!!

If we didn't have such a solid friendship, I think we'd hate each other by now hahaha

You know your client has no clue what they are doing, when they request this exact color combination.

I once had to do this for someones business website. I wasn't allowed to use anything else. They also told me exactly what the content area has to look like. It was as simple and eye cancerish as it could get.

Some day I had enough, trashed everything and made a completely new site with a proper design and color combinations to show it to them. Thankfully they approved instantly.

It's not always good to blindly follow the wishes of your clients.

WINDOWS DEFENDER FIREWALL IS SWITCHED OFF??????!??!?! OH MY GOD, WHAT WILL I DO?

HOW WILL I COPE??

ALL MY CODE IS UNDEFENDED AGAINST THE EVILS OF THE UNIVERSE!!!!!

SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!!!!!

Oh, wait, my VM is on an isolated network, and behind a NAT, and the firewall is off because windows keeps resolving everything to IPv6 and I just needed to get the databases installed.

Fucking hell Microsoft, make your alerts a little less "end of the world" like, you fucking dramatic bastards!!!

Holy shit I love this, that's fucking amazing, it's basically a modern terminal browser, that actually has html5, css support etc. not like elinks, especially nice inside tmux for sure.

"Browsh is a fully-modern text-based browser. It renders anything that a modern browser can; HTML5, CSS3, JS, video and even WebGL. Its main purpose is to be run on a remote server and accessed via SSH/Mosh or the in-browser HTML service in order to significantly reduce bandwidth and thus both increase browsing speeds and decrease bandwidth costs."

https://www.brow.sh/
demo: https://youtube.com/watch/...
https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/...

I fucking hate frontend frameworks!

Particularly Material Design and Bootstrap are fucking annoying to work with. Both look and feel more awkward than getting groped on the bus by a midget in a sado-maso outfit and a mustache.

I haven't tried any CSS framework that wasn't a complete mess which forced you to stuff your markup full to the brim with needless attributes, and other non-semantic HTML, like 'wrapper elements' that are either just obstructive whenever you need to change details or plain superfluous, because they could be left out easily, if you knew CSS properly.

Everything is littered with 'enhancement' class names that are longer than this guy's name:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/....

You should write enhancement classes yourself anyway, but the framework authors try to restrain you, because their little manifestos of awkward code have already become uncontrollable, opinionated mutants.

And if you're finally done, it's an absolute pain in the arse to change the design later (if you can even speak of design when everything looks the same). Because, since those dumb frameworks tend to force you to litter everything with classes and attributes, you always have to change both, markup/template files and CSS files which makes the mess complete.

Why do people cope with all this shit? Why don't they invest in learning CSS properly? Sure, it's annoying to have to learn something you don't like, but – motherfucker! – always fighting with, and changing, both markup and CSS files for changes that should be simpler than the products of marrying in the family for 500 years is far more fucking unreasonable.

Take a fucking CSS course or two, fucking start doing it yourself, and stop using prepared grids, for fuck's sake. You're just repeating the pattern I mentioned above by coupling your so-called CSS too tightly to the mess of a markup you're producing. In 95% of the cases you don't even need a full-blown grid, and five or ten lines of CSS would do the trick instead, while also being much more versatile.

Fuck CSS and frontend frameworks. They all look like and suck prolapsed donkey arse, and if you're one of those people who prefer using this crap instead of making an effort of learning CSS, I really hope your tongue gets stuck inside said donkey ass in a freak accident.

An entire night I've spent on this shit.. preparing wires, soldering them on the motherboard, and finally connecting everything up to current meters, my PC's USB port and a lithium cell from my old Doogee phone that I still had laying around. All in the hopes to get an adb shell. But all in vain.. the turd doesn't even want to boot up. What a fantastic waste of time 😑
(Apologies for the terrible picture quality btw, this tablet's camera is absolute garbage)

Saturday, I received this book in the mail. I bought it, because I'm currently building a React app in the form of a Progressive Web App, that'll make heavy use of service workers, web workers, push notifications, IndexedDB and other newer technologies which I wasn't too familiar with until recently.

Apart from the very annoying and distracting fact that the editor is obviously some kind of overly politically correct feminazi who replaced all generally male personal pronouns with the female variant instead of just using the more apt and less distracting neutral form ('they' 'their', etc.), I can really recommend it. (Seriously though, tell me what you want, that's no more than a silly, childish revenge on a perceived all-encompassing, omnipresent 'patriarchy', and it's no less 'correct' than using masculine personal pronouns exclusively, but well, that's a nother story).

Admittedly, the book is nothing new or totally amazing, but if you want to avoid having to piece together the few and far between bits of useful information from all the thousands of ill-informed frontend-themed websites of the web, this book is for you. Everything is very concisely but aptly explained, there are good examples, and also git repo to enable you to work along an example project, that is, quite frankly, a little bit chaotic, but since the explanations focus on the right parts, it's still useful to have.

Oh, and thanks to a bunch of old farts whose use of computers apparently boils down to sending their serva–, I mean 'domestic personnel' to order a case of overpriced mouthwa–, I mean wine via this new thing called 'internet' for them, but who are nonetheless proposing European laws to regulate how the fucking internet is to be used, I'll have to mark this rant exclusively as an advertisement.

But guess what, it's not, so suck my throbbing, purple-headed, veiny cock while I hit the three wheel motion on you and everybody who approves of this idiotic law, and start thinking for yourself for a change, how about that?

TL;DR: I HATE POP CULTURE WITH BURNING PASSION

Did I ever tell you people, how much I am annoyed with pop culture and recent trends? No?

Pop culture sucks sweaty donkey balls. And people who follow it should be deep throated gagged with all that steamy cum from those balls.

All these assholes do is promote their shitty content with sex. Making people think that they can win a woman by being the 'alpha' and making women think they are 'alpha' if they reveal more skin than others.

Sexism and shitty glamour every-fucking-where. No meaning or purpose. No message behind all that content. Only clicks and ads.

Viewers and consumers are drowned in ads and think they would win the rat race if they buy that ugly product and put it on themselves. Little do they know that it makes them look like a monkey trying to lick an elephant's pussy.

FUCK NETFLIX and AMAZON PRIME and other service who just keep pushing mediocre content all day and all night brainwashing the mass.

You know what's worse? You and me are unknowingly a victim of this culture.

Who am I to blame these capitalists corporate pigs when I am the one supporting all this shit directly or indirectly?

I might me completely wrong with my argument and perspective but this is what I feel about this rape culture. Ironically people feel good about it even when they have seen hazards happening because of it.

Men, women, children, granny and grandpa. Everybody is part of the chain.

As Ellen Goodman has rightly said:

"Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work, driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for, in order to get to a job that you need so you can pay for the clothes, car and the house that you leave empty all day in order to afford to live in it."

We all are normal. We all are shit. Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck this pop culture and fuck everything.

Microsoft force an upgrade to the new build of Skype. Changes in this version, they have removed the list of active users in favour of a conversation view, and they have reintroduced EVERY connectivity bug that they had finally resolved from the last version.

Skype needs to die. They should just fucking kill it once and for all - it's a waste of time and effort. They won't revert to the old working code base, and they just can't fucking get it right.

They took a platform that was actually capable and ruined it. I'm not even prepared to poke fun at it, it's just a fucking disgrace.

Mismanaged, useless bullshit.

To anybody involved in the management of the Skype project who might be reading this, just fucking wipe the code base, wipe the backups, topple the servers and call an end to it. YOU HAVE FAILED, COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY. YOU ARE NOT FUCKING FIT TO RUN A FUCKING PROJECT YOU DERELICT CUNTS!!!

EVERY SINGLE MANAGER IN CHARGE OF SKYPE NEEDS TO FUCK OFF AND WORK IN SOME OTHER FIELD - MAYBE A COW FIELD, PICKING UP TURDS.

YOU ARE NOT CUT OUT FOR THIS, BUT AS YOU'RE TOO FUCKING OBTUSE TO DO THE DECENT THING AND QUIT, HERE'S A LITTLE NUGGET OF ADVICE FOR YOU....

TEST IF BEFORE YOU FUCKING RELEASE IT!!!! OK??? GOT IT???

NOW, FUCK OFF AND BOIL YOUR FUCKING HEADS!!!!!

I remember that time my class (first year of software development) wrote a huge project for a real company as practice for irl stuff.

I was the only Linux user and it would be deployed on a Linux server.

Spent 10 weeks of development and then the moment of deployment on a Linux server began!

.
.
.
.
.

Nothing was case sensitive, everything was programmed for a windows architecture (backward slashes etc) and mssql was used while we would host it on a MySQL server.

The tree core guys spent three days or so to make the entire fucker compatible 😂

It was enjoyable to see them (literally) sweat 😊 (it had been known from the very beginning)