18
HomeAlone
243d

[Warning! - Sob story ahead, you've been warned]

Dear devRant,
today someone who interviewed me in the last days, said they want to hire me.
Good news, right?
Professionally speaking yes, but... i don't know.

I always been a freelance: never had much work, but i was always free of doing whatever i liked and whenever (no fixed working hours).
I have a room in an office with 2 other people. People i love to hate (it's complicated).

But now i'm thinking about this new work they are offering me: no more freelance, no office, no flexibility. All with a 6 months contract.
What really scares me is that i will lose what i have... even the 2 co-workers that i hate/love: i have never been able to make friends, they are the thing that comes closer to friends in my life.

I'm feeling a void in front of me:
being an adult (35 years old...) and choose a work that pays, but loose... essentially what i am, what i have hardly build...
OR decline the job, and going on "Peter-Pan-style", living at my pace: free but constantly hoping of something good to happen to me

I don't know, really don't know... so many feeling are overwhelming me now.
And tomorrow i have to make a decision

Comments
  • 14
    If you wait too long you might lose the ability to transform & you'll be Peter Pan forever.

    So let go. Try different things. And cope with loss.

    My biggest worry about staying Peter Pan is that Wendy will continue mature. And it will kill me to see her settle for something less than what I could have been if only I had faith.
  • 5
    @kunashe Eloquent. ++
  • 4
    @kunashe that was beautiful man
  • 5
    @1989 @HomeAlone definitely coin toss time. Toss a coin and don't even look - before it lands you'll already know, which one you hoped for.
  • 2
    @kunashe you awesome person 😉
  • 3
    I think i made my mind.
    Yeah, i thought about toss a coin, but i don't want to blame a coin for a choice i should have done by myself.

    I will try to keep both, at least for the first transition time: working for the boss mon/fri 9-18 and keep my office room for saturday (mostly like a 'shelter').

    This evening i will discuss my contract, then tomorrow (or monday) i will propose the above accomodation to my co-worker (they still don't know anything).

    Wish me luck!
  • 0
    @HomeAlone Best of luck to you!
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