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Google sucks!
No, not as e-mail or for privacy reasons. Sure, that too, but it comes with "free" stuff.

It sucks because it's breaking every possible record in the worst, shittiest, most insanely stupid APIs and integrations out there on the entire fucking planet!

It is comically stupid!

Aside from their LOVE of hard-deprecating APIs every few months, requiring constant, time consuming maintenance of every tool that integrates deeply with Google services, some of their APIs, for expensive stuff, look like they've been written by Bobby McFartface from 7th grade.

Take a look at DoubleClick Search (their ad performance reporting tool, that sure does sound like one). To upload custom, additional data, you must pass in a ton of parameter, and they REQUIRE some of them to have a specific, hardcoded value. What's the point in passing that parameter then you dickheads?!
But fine, so you uploaded some stuff using the API. Now you want to delete everything and try again after you fixed a bug - well you fucking CAN'T! You can't delete stuff, you can only mark them as "deleted" using an update call.
Bulk operations? Fuck no!
Can I just add on top? Well of course not! That will raise a ton of exceptions. Same message should be transmitted using the PUT, not POST request, in order to edit.
Can I send everything to PUT? Of course not! You can't edit something that's not there, dummy!

Can I see what's there so that I can update it, and add what's missing?
Well of course not! Why on Earth would you need to see what information is in there after you uploaded it? Who needs that anyway?

Simply send, pray, and hope that everything will be fine (it will not).

Like holy fucking crap, it can't get any more stupid!
Google is a huge pile of idiots who feed on only a single cow - the search engine.

It's times like these when I think that Google right now is the worst thing that exists for everyone in tech. It's dragging everyone down with their monopolies everywhere and complete idiocy in managing them.

Comments
  • 15
    Bobby McFartface was just trying his best in highschool, no need to rip on him.
  • 3
    Its not api related but oh boi wait till he find out about AMP
  • 4
    Amen to that. It feels like for a few years already Google is degrading rapidly. Take for example their email "security" - try to connect from a different network with imap and you get blocked. But you can login immediately via their website and you'll get in. Wtf?! Oh, but then they'll send you an email to warn you that someone tried to access your account. With correct password. And they send this email to the same account, of course. Just how "special" their engineers have become? We're taking about someone way more "advanced" than Mr. McFartface.
  • 1
    @nicolasm yeah, I don't do frontend, but the Taft Test sits calmly in the middle of my bookmark bar, making fun of AMP.

    (http://idlewords.com/talks/...)
  • 0
    Sage for necrobumping this awesome rant. My last project involved using the new Gmail API for PHP. I just couldn't get the users email address and name after signing in with Google. After trying for 2 weeks I found out on stackoverflow that the method I was using was deprecated in favor of the People API.
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