So about 3 weeks ago I was laid off from my dream job due to corporate bullshit. From the feedback received since then it is clear that the company made a mistake hiring a brand new React dev while they really needed an experienced one. Because the consultants who were supposed to be weren't. And the other in-house front end dev was an elitist asshole. And I never received proper feedback until it was too late. Actually I still don't have proper feedback save for some vague stuff which really sounds like the kind of feedback you'd give someone in the middle of their learning process. They even said eventually given more time I could have made it. But alas they felt they had to make a call in the best interest of the company.

Things moved fast since then, I took a week to recover and then I spent time updating my resume before getting back in touch with the recruiter who got me my last job. Great guy and he was happy to help me again. Applied to some positions, got some replies, first in person interview I go to they are immediately willing to take me on.

So now I'm supposed to start tomorrow but somehow I'm having my doubts. The company isn't an IT company but rather a fashion company. They believe in developing in house tools because past attempts with external companies resulted in them trying to push their vision through. Knowing who they worked with I agree, they tried to oversell all the time. But after talking with their developers I noticed they are behind on their knowledge. But so am I. So there was no tech interview which means I am getting an easy way in. And if they honour their word I'll be signing tomorrow for around my old wages.

So you'd think that sounds good right? And yet I'm worried it's going to be another shit show working on software without proper analysis or best practices. I mean the devs aren't total idiots, they are mediors like me and I think their heart is in the right place. They want to develop a good project but it will be just us 3 making a modern .net wpf application with the same functionality of the old Access based system currently in use. I was urged by the boss to draw on my experience and I think he wants me to help teach them too. But I'm painfully aware for my decade since graduating I'm a less than average .net dev who struggles with theory and never worked a job where I had someone more experienced to teach me. I coasted most of the time in underpaid jobs due to various reasons. But I'd always get mad over shitty code and practices. Which I realize is hypocritical for someone who couldn't explain what a singleton class is or who still fails at separation of concerns.

So yeah my question for the hivemind is what advice would you give a dev like me? I honestly dislike how poor I perform but it often feels like an insurmountable climb, and being over 30 makes it even more depressing. On the other hand I know I should feel blessed to find a workplace who seems to genuinely believe that people grow and develop and wishes to support me in this. Part of me thinks I should just go in, relax, but also learn till I'm there where I want to be and see if these people are open to improving with me. But part of me also feels I'm rushing into this, picking the first best offer, and it sure feels like a step backwards somehow. And that then makes me feel like an ugly ungrateful person who deserves her bad luck because she expects of others what she can't even do herself :(

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    Aye dawg.

    Just have confidence in yourself. Honestly. You do that and everything comes a lot easier.

    When its time to make a new project, and you think you want to try a new stack or perhaps make something in a different way. Just #yolo it and try. You won't learn anything unless you make mistakes
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    Accept the challenge this new company is giving you. Worry about adapting your Dev skills when you have a gig in hand.

    Our industry is mostly bullshit so don't beat yourself up about not being up to standards. I say bullshit because we make own rules every few months about what a good developer should know.

    Don't assume there are logical rules that determine your ability to land a job. If you get this wrong and the "rules" are arbitrary it could be long time before you're back to making software.
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    Don't let your self doubts put you down... You acknowledged you lack some skills and in my book that is a great point in your favor.

    I am a tech lead and architect and I prefer a team of people willing to get better than overconfident pricks who think they are perfect... No one is perfect, everyone has something to learn and there will always be someone better than you...

    If you think you need to know more of something, do it... Fail at it and redo it... Challenge yourself... Don't be afraid that is one way to learn and advance your skills...

    (On the side note, for a fellow c# dev... Read a bit about c# internals, it will help you understand things...)

    Also, I learned a lot from people better from me... But learned more from weaker people on my teams... Trying to teach them to be better made me better... Seeing their mistakes and teaching why they are mistakes made me a better architect...

    Good luck, embrace the challenge and have fun!
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