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It's almost midnight here and I just realized something. I just realized that none of my college friends have contacted me in almost a year now... Like none of them. They hang out every weekend near the college I cannot coz im working and it has never occurred to them that "hey there's this guy that we we were together for four years with , I wonder what he's doing how's he holding up" and I wasn't even an asshole or a douchebag or something I guess I just vaporizer from their memories like a volatile liquid.

I also feel like my boss gives me nearly impossible tasks so that I fail like "design these two complete web applications in three months while you do your actual job of teaching people java for 8 hrs a day"
And now here I am at midnight sitting curled up in the corner of my bed like a paranoid chipmunk that drank a pot full of dark coffee, trying to talk to this random bunch of people from random places in the world who are doing random shit right now. And the worst part is I chose this ... I wanted this I wanted to make a difference. I didn't want to be just a cog in a machine.

If I die right now how many people would cry? I ask myself that a lot it's never more than ten. This is probably creeping u out right now so I'll probably end this.
Rest assured six hrs from now I will put my mask back on. a mask of a happy, mildly funny, averagely successfully geek, until my next date with sadness

Comments
  • 1
    that they can ask him for fixing their computers? 🙄
  • 3
    @thevariableman it's nice to read your rant, I am new here and I would love to see this as a supportive community.

    Friendships aren't something that grows on the trees and, having been there myself, I suggest that you make at least an attempt at stop wondering why nobody gets back at you and rather get in touch with people and be the one to establish a connection first. Many times, it takes just as little.

    Also consider if these people are potentially good acquaintances or really worth working toward a friendship. If you feel alone, know that a bunch of people here gladly support you and cheer you up for as much close as you can feel it to be from strangers online with similar issues. Being alone isn't the same as being lonely and I am sure you're full of interests to keep yourself company and realize that you're always your best companion.

    That being said, your boss is an asshole, no wonder at the end of the day you get this terribly moody! I wish you to find a way out from him!
  • 0
    @Consolelog its kind of like what @erroronline1 says I have actually and the conversation turns to "hey what do you do? how much do you make? We should meet up this weekend. Oh you are working this weekend too bad"
    Or it's like "hey I have a idea for the next big app that will change the world and I want you to build it from scratch for free" so I'm kinda glad that they didn't call me but it sucks to realize that I don't really have any friends
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