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African
6y

Assembly: He’s the nerd. He speaks very quickly and uses short sentences. Very few people talk to him. He’s considered to be an autist asperger by a majority of the class because he finishes the exams so quickly it’s insane and he faces a lot of difficulties in speaking with others. He’s at school but already dressed like an engineer.

Ada: She’s a foureyes nerd. When she gets the answer she’s doesn’t make any mistake. Ada often corrects the teacher when she writes a line a little ambiguous. She’s building a rocketship in her backyard and she’s always speaking about this weird hobby.

Python: He’s Mr Popular. He likes skate, brags about all the parties he’s invited to. He’s good in all the subjects taught in class but he’ll do them a bit slower than the others. Everyone loves him because he explainsthings so well, sometimes the teacher herself asks Python to explain some part of the course. He’s dressed with a hoodie, a baggy and glasses on the top of the head ;)

Java: She is one of the toppers of the class and very popular. She’s very good in all the topics. The teacher loves her but she’s a very talkative person.

Scala/Kotlin: They are twin sisters and the best friends of Java. Unfortunately, they are not as popular and it’s often Java who takes the lead in the group. It’s very difficult to distinguish one from another. Both are far less talkative than Java but Scala speaks a bit differently than Kotlin and Java.

C: He’s the topper of the class. He’s so fast in completing the exams that the teacher really thinks he’s copying Assembly’s work. He has a little brother C++ and they share a lot in common together. He’s the chess major and often plays chess with Assembly and his big brother.

Go: He’s the new kid on the bloc. He doesn’t like C++ and his friends and he wants to prove he can do better than them. Of course, he prefers playing Go over Chess.

APL: He’s a lonely guy. No one understands him when he speaks. Even the teacher is surprised when APL shows a correct answer after several lines of incomprehensible pictograms. People think that he was born in a foreign country… or a foreign planet ?

HTML/CSS: These twin brothers are very different. One is dressed in black and white and the other is dressed with everything except black and white. HTML is very talkative and annoying and the CSS is very artistic. CSS is the best student in Art lessons and HTML performs well in written expression.

LaTeX: She’s friend of HTML. The teacher likes her because she has a gift of writing. LaTeX likes the mathematical courses because she can draw fancy greek letters. The teacher knows this well and she is often asked to write a formula on the black board.

VBA: He’s in the back, looking through the windows. Not really interested in the courses taught in class. In the exams, he answers always with a table.

C#: He’s in the back playing yet another game on his smartphone. He likes being next to the windows also.

JavaScript: People often mix up Java and JavaScript because they have a similar name. But they are definitly not the same. Javascript spends a lot of time with HTMLand CSS. He’s as artistic as CSS but he prefers things that move. He likes actions and movies. CSS dreams to be a painter wheras JavaScript wants to be a film-maker.

Haskell: He’s a goth. Dressed up in dark. Doesn’t talk to anyone. He doesn’t understand why others write pages when he can write a couple of lines to answer the same question.

Julia: She’s the newest student here. She doesn’t have any friends yet but her secret aim is to be as popular as Python and as fast as C.

Credit: Thomas jalabert

Comments
  • 8
    I like how Haskell has more of a reputation for writing programs in as few lines as possible, instead of a good type system, great tools, safety, and bleeding edge language features, which are its actual strengths.
  • 2
    @killermenpl oh, terseness is definitely a strength of Haskell, but not precisely for that reason, lel.
    Haskell encouragess you to build up your programs in a composable, abstract way by combining a lot of little premade patterns.

    Instead of for loops, you'd actually try to identify what the loop is -doing- and use little prebuilt functions that express that behaviour.

    Are you iterating over a list/some other data structure and applying the same operation to everything data element and not changing the shape of the data structure? Great, use a Haskell fmap. Are you running a sequence of operations in which failure of one means failure of the whole sequence? Great, use the Maybe monad.

    That's the difference. And advantage, in general. It's harder to fuck up and easier to maintain.

    Sorry, I tend to get a bit preachy about Haskell too, lel.
  • 1
    @andros705 Elixir is the meth cook.
  • 0
    Batch: Many kids mention this man a lot. He is freaking slow, due to his old age, but it easy to understand. It is also advanced as well, when many programming languages use reflection, this man use variable instead. Variable can insert everywhere with "%variableName%" or it you're enabled delay expansion, then you can use "!variableName!". Batch treated string like integer and integer treated as string, so no parse string in here. Many library are written in Assembly or use another batch as well. Sadly, this only available in almost operating systems thats are made by Microsoft. If you want to try batch in realistic and old way, just install MS-DOS

    jk don't install dos
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