i legit have ptsd and it gets triggered whenever i see math. it has traumatized me. i become anxious, even more depressed and anti confident.

i dont get triggered by code math for some reason because i enjoy code. not by the word math. but the complex math equations on a paper

Understandable. Try to read such a math page as if it were code, and you'll find all criteria for shitty code. That's also why APL hasn't taken off.

But while we have evolved in coding, the crap in math comes from times when paper was expensive so that this kind of shit is seen as normal.