Being a Varikist is encountering in the same document one's own previously-written useless functions, which span across multiple lines, in addition to functions which only operate properly because the planets have aligned in something akin to an elliptic curve; these are not indecipherable because the program entirely lacks comments, but because the comments pertain to a program which is somewhat different from that which one wishes to understand.
An example of this is “if senderOfMessage != regexpressiona...senderOfMessage = regexpressiona”; I am wholely uncertain of my reason for having written the program in this manner, but I will not be changing it, because my programs can be diplomatically described as having been developed with a utilitarian approach; they merely need to be functional, and, as such, a lot of repositioning is used during the development process. Of course, for the programs which I write for occupational reasons, I create flowcharts before beginning work on the program, and I imagine that the adoption of this habit for personal projects would likely not kill me.

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    ADDENDUM: Being a Varikist is also writing regular expressions which are several kilobytes long.
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    @varikvalefor Ever thought of writing a parser instead? Read up on Chomsky hierarchies for inspiration, although straight up implementing a generic Chomsky validator is both incredibly tedious and inefficient.
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    @Lor-inc: I shall look into that. I thank you for the recommendation!
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