How to bring your zsh start-up time from 7s to 0.2s on macOS:
1. Don't call "brew info", piped to grep, piped to awk
2. Don't dynamically detect the current version of brew-installed packages
3. Don't call java_home
4. Actually don't do anything dynamically. Just symlink shit as they get updated

There you go. Don't be like me. Use the "brew --prefix" command and put its output in your .zshrc, instead of running it every time