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My head is melting. Does anyone have a colleague who constantly complains about missing specs, documentation, project organization, bad processes and procedures? Everything needs to be planned. Not a single small code change can be done without reviewed details. 10min job becomes a week-long session of whining and dabbling.

You give the guy a small task and at the end of the day nothing is done. Just page after page of written documents and lists in Word and online notebooks. Version numbers, meaningless measurement results, latencies etc. And all you asked was "could you just fucking fix this one thing and quickly compile and check it". But no. There must be a review and at least 10 people need to be called into conference. Someone needs to approve everything just so that he can later move to blame to others. "Yeah I know it's not working but I showed you the code and you reviewed it!". Yes, you did, but other people have work of their own so sometimes you need to tie your own shoelaces.

And sometimes finally there's some work done. All indentations are shit. There’re code changes everywhere just because the guy didn't like the previous smaller, compact and logical code. The code doesn't even compile properly anymore. And if you complain, the reason is "there's no proper reviewed and stamped process description, so I cannot know if a variable is supposed to be 10 characters long. Besides 200 character long variable names are much more descriptive". For fucks sake.

Some coders should've gone to work in some tax office basement.

Comments
  • 3
    Fire him before he metamorphoses into a manager!
  • 1
    @Root Don't have the power to remove people :(

    But luckily, he won't be a manager. He's been offered the position so many times because he seems to have an opinion on everything. But you see, if you get power, you also get responsibility. And of bureaucratic types that is a problem. So, it's better to stay in the lowest step and complain about management. That way it’s never your fault and you feel safe.
  • 0
    As long as you git commit appropriately, there really shouldn’t be a problem
  • 1
    @dmoa , the dude probably instead of git just zips the code and emails it to people. And then marks the zip file into some version control excel and prints it on paper.

    Or if there's a GIT commit, then he'll make a functional change into one line and then replace the spacebars with tab in all files. And change some comment word orders just so that the version control diff shows red lines in each and every file :D
  • 0
    @thatDude Jesus Christ, sorry.
  • 1
    What a fucking moron! I have dealt with such nutters, but yours is a whole new level all by himself!
  • 3
    Yeah, they do that to avoid work. I worked with a lot of developers like that. One even tried to go against me by teaching a new hire how to send an email when there are issues instead of trying to resolve it first. That guy does it all the time. He finds an issue, doesn't make an effort to resolve it, sends an email, and then slack around with the excuse "I'm waiting for a response". Then he will blame the other person why his tasks aren't completed.

    And yes, the whining. I noticed that the whiniest employees are the dumbest and least productive ones. I think it's their way of masking the fact that they are useless. Screaming insecurity.
  • 1
    Wow. Sorry for your troubles. I've never worked with someone exactly like that, but I have worked with somebody kinda like that, he never changed anything until the docs had been approved. But I kinda get it in his case, because people have fucked him over things like those in the past.
  • 1
    Fix his brakes.
  • 0
    For some reason, I have this image of a small river stream. And in the middle of the stream there's a tree stump resisting the flow. It just stands there, day and night trying to stop the water, it's never able to do that, but it will keep trying.

    I don't know how his wife can deal with him. Same kind of sock arranging has to be happening there too. Leaving notes in the fridge items etc. Maybe the neighbour pays a visit every now and then when the guy is at work?
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