>stick holding important data goes bad ("Insert DVD" IT'S A FUCKING FLASH DRIVE)
>no backups as it's a flash drive so my PC never did an auto-backup despite being configured to do so
>might be recoverable
>"short pins 2 and 3 while running tool to reconfigure NAND and controller then recover data from quick format with TestDisk"
*looks at drive*

Well.
Fuck.

it's not even sharp enough to slit my wrists with