Jilano3311330dWell, I didn't want to use that classic bullshit sentence but: "be the change you want to see in the world". I can assure you that more will follow if you start standing up to stupid people.
Also, cheers to your last statement!
@Jilano Unfortunately the people I'd be standing up to outrank me and have much more seniority by quite a bit 😅 It's not an enigma, people know this person as the asshole that getaway away with being an asshole because of his skill.
Not worth the energy and risk to call them out, so for now I'll just stick with eyerolls when meetings end lol
@LesMore That seems like a cop out. Decency towards others isn't hard and egotistical jargon like that makes it seem like kindness and good development are mutually exclusive. They're not.
I don't subscribe to this whole "I'm so good at what I do it outweighs how much of an ass I am" idea. I don't care what real world impacts you and your efforts have, your attitude towards others is independent from your good deeds and is not morally untouchable.
If you "Don't have the patience for these peasants and their antics" then that's a you problem. No high horses or ivory towers here. You're a person just like me and I hold you to the standard of decency.
@LesMore I think it's a false sense of superiority. Producing outcomes isn't a justification for being rude and hateful. If being rude and hateful was a necessary byproduct of producing outcomes then perhaps it would be different, but we know it's not because there's lots of successful and capable developers who aren't dicks.
It's just a superiority complex. It's thinking you're above being kind to people because you brought value to the world. You're not. Doing a good thing doesn't cancel out the bad you do, it's not a zero sum game. If you cure cancer and kick a homeless man you're still a dick for kicking the homeless man. Maybe people will overlook it because of the good you provided but it doesn't make you less of a dick and it doesn't remove the negative morality.
You don't have to do a bad thing to do good, you just choose to because you can get away with it. It's still immoral and worthy of criticism.
copyNinja6729dFinally. Thank you. Seriously people how hard is it to be nice ??? Words do really affect those around us and u never know whose self esteem u r wrecking because of a thoughtless comment u made.
Whenever in I've been in the position to throw my weight around, I've got rid of people like that ASAP. I'd prefer someone less technically competent who's not an arsehole any day. Leave competent arseholes in the company and they'll often do their best to hold onto knowledge so they're even harder to replace, and have even more power down the line.
Same in senior interviews. Not being an arse is the baseline. If you can answer all the questions near perfectly but you're an arse in doing so, you're out of the door right off the bat.
Perhaps I'm the exception, but I certainly know many others who take the same approach. Idk, perhaps that means I am the arsehole 😂
copyNinja6728d@Jilano I understand its hard. I worked with frustrating people myself but normalising deconstructive criticism is unacceptable. If someone is messing up u can always tell them in a respectful way. Destroying someone just because theyre incompetent in your eyes isnt going to make them smarter, it will break them (also the stress and low self esteem makes them prone to messing up more and slower in fixing their mistakes)
Also, notice how patient most people are with their bosses mess ups compared to their co-workers mess ups. Its not a matter of stupid people around us but its a matter of anger-management issues, self control and empathy towards others. Cheers! 🤝
> Think about it as of the costs of having all that niceties around.
The cost of the niceties around me is the hard work that went into them. How about I punch you in the face every morning? You just need to think about it as the cost of having all these niceties around.
> I am just describing the fact of life. The nature is cruel, you know.
Even if nature were generally cruel (which it isn't, nature is also beautiful) it wouldn't mean that *we* also *ought* to be cruel. That is called the "naturalistic fallacy".
We as humans can build our society the way we want. And we generally kinda *don't* want assholes around.
In short, stop these asshole apologetics.
TedTrippin4125dSad fact in IT that there's a lot of pompus, arrogant scunthorpes that got where they are by shouting louder. Shit managers will listen to them and accept their shit because they sound confident.
Side effect of this is that the little twerps actually start to believe they are as good as their managers perception of them. Once they've got to this stage all you can do is hope that a senior figure recognises them for what they are and gives them a dressing down... or hope they get run over.
mcfly29816dIt hasn’t happened to me personally because I’ve had the luck to work among friends but I’ve heard about other people I know not feeling like going to the office because X person is an asshole and disrupts what otherwise would be a free flowing work environment. Don’t be like that.
I believe that you have to uplift the people around you and take someone under your wing or be someone’s mentor, I find a lot of joy when I see people not making the same mistakes I made.