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Oktokolo758298dSo you actually like what you are doing and where you are doing it. But for some reason you think, that you should not like it, because devs have to want to learn and do new exciting stuff.
But on the other hand, you actually don't even want to be a dev, but just do it because it is sortof easy and convenient for you to do.
Well, keep the job. Specialize in maintenance and keep asking for help to not make it look like you don't actually care that much. You shouldn't feel guilty and whether you feel as a dev or not doesn't really matter. See it as a traditional craft or bookkeeping if it helps. Not being too emotionally and/or creatively involved is actually better. But have some base level of honour in your work and try to keep the bugs in check and the code somewhat clean.
horus70998dIt does not actual feel like liking. I am bored to death and feel left alone by my so called team. I think I could see like you suggest when there would be some perspective of change, but I guess the longer i stay the lower are the chances...
It seems to me that you still care alot about your job. That is something I can understand completely.
But just to give another perspective: your colleges do not care about the main project nor your workload. Your boss does not care either: else you would get the help you have been asking for (your boss can either tell one of your colleges or hire someone new after all).
It seems really odd to me, that your colleges can just announce to "not do X anymore" and everyone (including your boss) is absolutely fine with that.
Sorry to be so blunt, but if this has been going on three years, it is not going to change. And if you are not happy, you should consider to move on. And yes, second guessing your occupation counts as not being happy in my book.
I know, because I was stuck at my previous job for five years. Now, I'm 1.5 years into my new job: 100% WFH (which I love), 5-10% of the previous workload, and way better pay.
You deserve to be a happy dev! 🙂
horus70996d@SuspiciousBug I had to think a while about the things you wrote. I think you are right: my collegues just don't care at all. About my boss, I learned in the days, that He is in a very difficult position himself and that the project is slowly growing over his head. He started to talk with his kwn bosses now. So we will see in the next weeks what comes out there as well as if one of the other devs will make the sacrifice to join me and who and last but not least if this PHD position is really impossible for my me to take. I think in one month i will know if i stay or if i go. Anyway i will start looking around tomorrow allready. In work time xD
horus70994dI told my boss I will leave at the end of the year, either for the PHD position (which i doubt sadly) or to take a break in unemployment and find something new. I think he understood that now. He will force the two dudes this week to decide who will join me and later takeover the project. (and of they don't it's really not my problem). This feels like a really good compromise between my desire to change, my sense of duty and my limited possibilities atm.