Someone: Be grateful that you aren’t laid off, and received all your pay checks in time.

Me: Be grateful that I haven’t severed you head and eaten noodles in your skull yet.

Of course I say it out loud in my head.

  • 3
    Kinda wished you did. Quite unfortunate that it can be explained as a dead threat.

    Perhaps go for "be grateful you can still breathe."

    Still conveys the threat; yet can be explained as just listing of basic rights. Like sunshine.
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