Colleague at work gets pissed of when I 'tell' them what to do.

Change tack to suggesting things. These suggestions don't get followed and explosions ensue.

Colleague gets pissed off that I did not prevent these explosions. Simultaneously I get criticised for being angry that my suggestions were not followed, when what I'm primarily trying to do is defend myself for being blamed for the explosions in the place.

You can have your cake and eat it too folks!