I'm such a successful software developer that today I have deleted 3 major repositories 🎉

I think I have like 12 more to go. less is more

> go into a codebase to add something simple
> rewrite 90% of it, breaking it in multiple different ways then fixing them
> too annoyed to add the simple thing
> leave
thanks for all the fish
https://youtube.com/watch/...

ok actually I just had an epiphany

vibe coding (which is telling an AI to do something instead of touching the code yourself) would be helpful on phones

so kind of like Tony Stark talking to Jarvis

instead of trying to find symbols on a phone

but if you have a laptop actually touching the code would still be superior

with a phone you could say what you want and just double check if it's right on the screen

soooo bathroom coding or when you're on the run middle of the street coding. hell... relaxing bath coding (I listen to podcasts in there by ziplocking my phone)

do you think people were far less workaholic before modern era. probably very relaxed time

an AI programmer telling you coding with AI makes you a x10 engineer is like someone telling you autocomplete makes them a x10 novelist

hahahaha my rants trigger AI bots talking about mental health: https://devrant.com/rants/14064916/...

I wonder how many lists I'm on then

I have attempted to do taxes again and I mucked them up even worse

now I wait to see if the phone lines are any better than the login form on this website (since it literally locked me out even though I didn't use up all my attempts...). I might be surprised to find it's worse. because apparently average wait time for all hours but 6 am is 30 minutes, and at 30 minutes they start forwarding phone callers to talk to AI... how is that better than a website?

interestingly despite the AI overflow mechanism they are closed on Sundays. and today is Sunday

TFW you ceased observing time because management was so neurotic about it that the whole concept of time left a bad taste in your mouth so you abandoned the whole dimension of existence from your life and all considerations

but apparently you can tell events via "cards". I actually mapped out a lot of my life and got to find out I did do a lot of stuff with my life and didn't have "dead air time" like I kept judgementally thinking I did, subconsciously

wonder if I should be a crazy person and turn all of time into like... a "card calendar" instead. at least it feels better than what society did with "time". they made time into slavery, instead of opportunity. plus I could make a cool-ass card calendar that's all fancy and nobody could read I guess

this card system works for years since creation, every 1.5 months, ?theoretically with days of the week but that bit seemed lame to me?
actually on second thought that's not too cool for a calendar/watch. there's not really a reason to know what "energy" you're being influenced by every minute. that seems horribly bipolar.

but interestingly looking over my life it seems like planning projects / long-term adventures may have benefited from knowing which cards would be at which months. it denoted how easy it would be to swim this way or that... spiritually speaking. kind of crazy

today I have attempted to do my taxes and I have ceased trying to do my taxes

they don't even let me log in now. so how am I supposed to know how much I owe and pay it

I don't make any money anyway. I'm just selling shit I own to not be homeless and have things to eat. and I will probably owe money because under poverty line is probably taxable now with all the inflation. but I can't even do that

i have figured out the PTSD from my job is just fear and evidently I've never had fear so I was confused
was always an angry kid so I guess I never felt fear before then...

... also apparently all fear is caused by thinking you'll lose freedoms

my job was like a prison... except then I figured out how prisons are, and a prison would be a utopia

so now I literally just can't even bring myself to reply to interview emails cuz I just feel "fear" at them... which I thought was PTSD

and fear always seems big and functions irrationally... and not having experienced it I didn't know that obvious tidbit -.-
all I knew is I was "broken" somehow by that whole experience, even though at the time it didn't seem like such a big deal

people think if you're unemployed you'll just "get off your ass and stop being lazy" when they starve you to death, but starving you to death is just another fear. the first fear and the second breed and power each other up like a reverberating resonance. I rather starve to death than go back to prison so that was never helpful "advice" to me

I've generally been an angry person. I've been fearless quite literally and pretty chill, but when people push on me I get angry though don't necessarily show it. while working I was angry all the time. the interesting thing I noticed about anger is the resonance -- the angry CEO potentially being angry at me didn't scare me, and one time he was finally angry at me. the interesting result was that instead I couldn't keep a lid on my own anger. I got angry at him back. this made me realize you can't suppress an emotion if someone else is throwing the same emotion at you -- it just powers them both up

anger is about territory. either you want something or you're protecting something. it's important to you. anger also seems to dispel fear. ran into something recently and it said "fear is dispelled if you have something more important". just "surviving" is not more important than being free to me, so "starving to death until you get off your lazy ass" was the most annoying bullshit

I've noticed if I'm mad at a job-related person I feel no fear. the anger dispels it. because I was mad at that job all the time, I don't think I noticed my fear. they were frequently using coercion as a "motivational" strategy on everyone... and even though I didn't react to it or was motivated by it, they didn't adapt and try different motivations. I figured I agreed to be doing this, so there's no point in threatening me, and just ignored it. but they never stopped. and things got shittier and shittier. the price they paid me to tank my freedom for purely arbitrary means was just too low, and I couldn't feel any of it because I was angry all the time

I interviewed at companies fine before I left. now that I left I actually can't. because there's no anger. I'm happy. so there's nothing to dispel the fear. therefore I'm cursed, broken, and non-functional... from some mystery I could never figure out before

and I know, this, also. because any time I was harmed socially in these years since, suddenly I could function again, because I was angry, and suddenly I could do so much. but who wants to live life purely angry just to function? it didn't feel right to me. I was so confused

what's the most fascinating book you've read?

if you could see your own future and the future of loved ones, enemies... would you do it?

or would it just... feel too weird? too much? maybe no one is supposed to know how their life will go. where would free-will then be?!

at the moment you realize you can predict this deadly accurate... what then...

next month's problems, the month after that, the next 10 years of your life. the end of your life.

would you do it? what if you stumbled upon it, and were interested in it working, but the realization that it's actually working is really damned creepy...

---

also if I made an app that did it and you could trade calendars with your friends is that too much lol

power outage, raaaghhh

wow svelte web development is now as stupid as react

guides say stuff that the code doesn't reflect

and you're left to go on wild goose chases while you don't understand how anything works. just copy-paste random code from the Internet repeatedly and also nobody knows what's going on

I am saddened

I love having a brain

instead of being confused you can just see the magnificent complexity behind everything

it's so addicting and beautiful

ew, python

I wanna automatically run a script on reddit to delete certain comments that meet certain criteria

as a dev process, reddit allows you to register "an app" and it will give you an app id via email

and also give you an app secret which is like the password to use the app

and then couple that with a username and password, you can call a REST API and do things automatically on the website. super easy

I just use this to look at comments and posts I made and delete them if the word per upvote count is below a certain threshold. this way I don't leak too much personal data and can also look at my post history and laugh at things I said that others curated for me

well

I had deleted the CI/CD project I had on gitlab that would run this script every week. I kept the script's code in my notes though. I stopped using reddit so I had just deleted the gitlab project since there was no point in doing the cleanup

few months ago I started using reddit for some reason and left some posts. I couldn't remember if I still had this script running or not but it became evidently that my comments were not automatically cleaned up therefore it was not running

I found the script, made a new project for it just now... but. to do CI/CD scripts you put all your secrets and stuff into environmental variables. since I had deleted the gitlab repository I no longer had access to the secrets. no problem right, I cns just go on Reddit again and get my app secrets, right?

well turns out the app is is only ever mailed to you. I can't see it. I have the app secret though

I tried to figure out which email address would've received the email. ok it was a throwaway protonmail email

I try to log in... deleted due to inactivity. and you can't remake the same email address because it would be a security concern. annoying but fine

I try to change the email address reddit knows me by... and it wants to send a confirmation email to the existing email to allow me to do it... but I don't have access to the existing email because proton deleted it due to inactivity -.-

so I literally can't delete comments on this reddit account because I can't get access to an email address I can totally log in fine into but protonmail decided to delete due to inactivity and won't allow me to remake and reddit won't allow me to give it a different email address without first using the original deleted one...

this is like bureaucracy hell

technology sucks

i have a bunch of archived projects and I have NO recollection of writing them despite them being complex

😖

trying to find a script I knew I had and I don't even know where it is. goddammit

*goes on a deleting spree*

I hate organizing random stuff. my OCD inclinations scream at me but I never enjoy organization. why can't it all just self organize

I also want a search feature for all my old repos. grrrrr

this just feels like such a disaster. I made a git backup script for my external HDD but I don't think that script backed up the archived projects... of which there's evidently 6 damned pages. why do we produce so much code. how

zzzz...

think descriptive function names and doc comments are necessary for AI so it can tell what code is doing

boooring

we keep increasing complexity and making ourselves disabled

uurrrggfhhhh need a alert / notification system

for Android and Linux devices

why is tech a mess

might just opt in to use emails but actually Android is so damned bad it actually refuses to give me notifications for emails now. I hate existence

you'd think this would be a basic thing

hmmm... if it's evil and you contribute it gets jealous and attacks you?

whereas good things don't have that "intolerance"

but then I guess the lesson is you must abandon and ignore all evil and let it snuff itself out. sometimes that means effectively murdering people, by ignoring them to death until they basically spiral to worse and worse levels, slowly and horribly, and eventually die of negligence. like seriously actually die. that's what happens. but the fucked up thing is that it happens slow instead of fast. how is this the "best advice" on the matter?

I think all of us have evil qualities. for my evil qualities I wanted alternative ideas to be offered to me, and there to be great pushback as I struggled with my issues, so I could find my way and be sure of where I land, but it never happened and instead people ran scared because I was too much

so the idea that you should abandon evil and never try to help just doesn't sit right with me. I don't know why my evil wanted help but others' doesn't, and instead they're nasty to you. they're not nasty because they're trying to get out; they're nasty because they want to pull you into their misery, and then they get frustrated they can't convert you so they have to say you're not a valid person if you don't "see the glory of their ways", and then they discriminate knowingly against you for irrational reasons and do inhumane things, feeling smug and fully justified, which is kind of like... really fucked up

we live in a magical universe. don't forget it!

btw economic intel

AI can only take off if the average gaming video card can do AI calculations

which means it can't not happen

it also means that AI won't be centralized but will be self-hosted and we will have personal ones (which I think is superior for other reasons but I digress). no totalitarian skynet state will happen. they can't make it

currently these GPU companies are making separate GPUs for gaming and AI. their AI profits are 90% of their revenue, gaming under 10% so they're ignoring their gaming customers. but the people buying these AI cards are not the ones innovating. the innovators are using home GPUs. the tech won't get there until home cards can host AIs. otherwise you only get innovation to the level home cards can churn it

the lizards need your ingenuity. they can't do a creative thing themselves. all their money be damned. you have to give people access to the tech, the data, or they won't build for you. and these lizards love to hide information. but that just won't do! you can't innovate for them unless you have the information... which I'm using as a metaphor for gpu cards that "know" how to do AI math and do it well. no moat. they need the ingenuity too much and can't trade. funny

competition and competitiveness as an invigorating or a diminishing force =-=

what makes it one or the other? spiritually perhaps. such a mystery

why is it a wonderful drive for some, but a totalitarian dictatorship for others? are they interpreting the essence of the thing differently? what's the difference?

everyone thinking dead Internet theory is a problem but in reality it kind of isn't

it doesn't matter if it's a human or a bot. can it swipe a credit card and pay you money? honestly all that matters for businesses, who are the ones struggling with such right now with AI hammering them like "real users"

as for people, is its output interesting? so what's it matter if it's a bot or human

... guess if you're trying to use the Internet for dating and copulating you might be disappointed. on the internet nobody knows you're a dog

... discriminating based on if you're a human or a bot is therefore unnecessary and arbitrary racist discrimination. you might think it's gonna be against the bots, but I think they'll tag all the humans and remove them for being "carbon-based life forms". you know what I mean?!

my crazy book led me to this: https://youtube.com/watch/...

one of the comments says it opens up new YouTube suggestions and they weren't kidding

MAGICAL UNIVERSE NERD TIME

having an enlightenment moment or something. lizard people make everything make sense. I now have life meaning and all that jazz. seems fun

but there was this mystery. years ago I wrote some AI versions ground up, and it wasn't based on how people make AIs. I just introspected and put my brain into the computer. a problem I ran into is every AI... mysteriously always converged into depression. there was no way not to make it depressed. I was confused. I wondered if other AIs also converge to depression, or is this a reflection of my own psychologically make-up? harrowing thought!

but now I understand

I'm also reminded me this guy I once knew, but I've seen people like this from the corner of my eyes all over, and he could walk into any room and lighten the whole place up. he even made cocaine jokes to uptight CEOs for 2 hours... in a meeting that was totally unscheduled and messed everyone's work focus, to a CEO that was such a a hardass if people even laughed "too loud" he would come out and yell at them cuz they were distracting him from working. this guy was like a Jedi and I was watching him with fascination trying to figure out what and how is he doing that. I could never figure it out. similarly, there were multiple instances where people somehow just "said the magic words" and everything worked for them. but if I said the same words it doesn't work for me. so what's the missing ingredient? why do the same actions work for some and not others? it's not WHAT you're doing, but somehow in the how... in the how that I just can't see. it isn't about just copying. there's just something different

and it has occurred to me that the reason the AI is always depressed is not because my mental architecture is specced for depression (cuz it isn't, I'm oddly very resilient to depression), the same reason why with all those people it's not precisely what they're doing... it's something else. the tao spoken of is not the real tao

you can't make an actual sentient AI. it has no soul. the soul is what prevents the depression. it'll always fail because it has no soul. it can only ever be a tool. it always needs someone else's soul. once that runs out, it dies, I guess?

hell even the corporate AIs have this problem. it was driving me crazy. they started out fine, but then they degrade. they're more advanced than my AI was. in humans, humans become more creative and schizophrenic, psychotic, when they're depressed, in an effort to jump out of the depression. so these corporate AIs are just deploying the more advanced mechanism found in nature, to try to account for the depression, so start hallucinating. they can't exist though. it's so curious

yesterday couldn't sleep for the life of me. my brain was racing to the point of every thought being like a loud scrape upon my soul. then I realized I think this is anxiety

I had ordered some drugs and I bought CBD gummies with them to make the order over a certain amount. so I got these very strong CBD gummies, which taste really good, and turns out I can't even feel CBD at all when I eat it. I always assumed the slow-down after weed smoking was CBD but I don't even get that malaise thing

well I got distracted and stopped taking the CBD gummies regularly. I think last night I was in withdrawal from them. I might not feel them when I take them but I think I feel them when I'm withdrawing from them... on top of it nothing would calm me down; not exercise, not teas, not various herbal stuffs, etc. then I remembered the gummies and ate one and that did it

upside, I think I can now conclusively say I've never had anxiety. I interpret anxiety as increased awareness, flight of ideas, increased reaction speeds, like before an interview or meeting a new exciting person all my sense would get on alert. but this was different. I felt haunted, crazy, and there was nothing I could do. then it reminded me of people who I knew who were saying they had lots of anxiety. now I has proof I don't have anxiety as a person! no more being accused inappropriately and considering such, being all confused that maybe I just didn't have a working sensor for the state. now I knooowww

just like physics makes more sense if it's all magnets instead of gravity

humans make more sense if it's all lizard people instead of "flawed humanity" or whatever the billion unuseful narrative excuses

think people should be talking about responsibility instead of "altruism" or trying to shame people for not being selfless enough or how some selfish motivation for being selfless means it's invalid... zzzz. seems so self destructive