man, SCRUM is a FUCKING chord, sometimes. Isn’t it supposed to make us productive and not hog time and resources?

No, Scrum is made for the following:

* Managers feel involved with setting priorities and stuff.

* Committing to dates, cause managers like that.

* Posting excuses in tickets, cause the commitments were shit from the start (Yes of course we can finish these 283 tickets in this two week sprint).

I honestly spend more time in our project management software than I spend writing code and doing the work I get paid for.

We feel your pain

There's so many people on my team that wouldn't have jobs if agile wasn't a thing. The existence of their job is the justification for the existence of their job.