Pure evil

SO
FUCKING
TRUE

"But you TOLD me..."
"No. You moron. I estimated. "

And this is why my estimates are multiplied by π!

Asking? My boss just dictates. Then gets upset when it doesn't happen.

Estimated to x if all current circumstaces stay the same.

Sry bro the Moon is not in the seventh house and Jupiter not aligns with Mars anymore, so put that estimate I gave 500 feature requests before to Uranus!!!!

I find if I provide my estimates in man days it confuses them enough not to do this.

"You told me it would be done in two weeks"

"No, I told you it would take 10md... You assumed I had 5md spare each week and I never do"

There's calculations or better ways of estimating I'll use if people aren't a fucker.

Also "man days" sounds really homosexual so... There's that too I guess.

Read 99 things a developer should know... it will massively help you.
In a nutshell: Your boss doesnt want an estimate, he wants you to commit to a date.

Oh gawd, this is our Project manager talking!

After a while you learn to double/triple/*infinity your estimates.

So damn true :(

I always estimate in man days as a Gaussian ...so they get a range from earliest to latest with probabilities. Fucks them up enough and is more accurate than a date.

I’m pretty sure I made that I meme. I mean literally I made it. In 2013 after we wee asked “roughy.... ballpark” how long it would take to build a system.

We said roughly a year. Later that day the deadline was set for 1 year to the day from what we said.

Guys please ++ only 58 remaining from getting me my ducky