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for some reason I decided to re-invent async myself ground up for no reason even though I've last month taken up the philosophy "as long as it works, make it as janky as possible" which was actually very invigorating and fruitful in the end
but now I feel overwhelmed, there's no resources, I've never done anything similar, nobody else knows how to do this, the AIs don't know how to do even small basic building blocks of this, there are no similar repos, and I have self-doubts because I went against my new-found and successful principle
and also my brain feels restless and stressed as fuck because brain issues activated maybe due to change of drugs
so I kind of wanna explode and scream
and then maybe cry
and then maybe I'll exhaust myself and be able to focus again
rant
ragh