I feel very frustrated about this situation. I'm studying so I haven't many time to work but I worked last two years and now I feel as a bird with clipped wings. I need a side project, something mine, to work on, to put myself in. I don't need to get money from it but the revenue it's only a confirmation about the success provided by hard work and dedication. I can't fill this emptiness with the study. I feel I just need to work on something I believe, see it grows up and came alive. Every project I start and every line of code I write seems meaningless. This situation is a strange existential drama and hurts me. It's like I forgot how to be satisfied programming. I live in this recurrent melancholy and I don't feel realized.
Sorry for the sad rant but I need some suggestions from someone who can understand me.