Today I learnt never trust a coworker or see them as a friend.

So I have been thinking of quitting my job to further educate myself. The work I sit with is mostly the tiniest CSS changes. Which is frustating and demotivating to work with.

One of my coworkers told me in confidentiality, that he was looking for another job in another company and he only told me. And wanted to keep it secret from everybody else. I felt this gesture of him trusting me meant I had to trust him back with something else. I told him that I am applying for an education for later this year. But I don't want to say anything before it has been approved.

He understood fairly well and we got to be a thing outside work.

Last week I learnt I was seriously underpaid compared to all other coworkers despite me being one of the people with the most responsibility. I felt this wasn't right, so I talked to the pay responsible and said this paygrade isnt substantial, and I felt it was demovating to go to work knowing I was the least paid coworker.

He understood fairly well he said and said he would bring it into management to discuss.

But then he said one last thing. "I have heard something about you applying for another education, is this true? Since I have seen you put your summer vacation really early this year"

I had to lie and say no, that was like before I knew I landed a job here.

I dont wanna say anything to my company before I get the approval from school.

But still now I am in this position of feeling stupid for trusting this coworker, mad that he violated my trust and feeling very guilty for having to lie to this person's face.

  • 1
    Thing as in friends outside work lmao
  • 6
    This is a common situation, unfortunately. Happens in family too.
    Most people have difficulty to respect other's privacy. We need to be friendly, but only share what we are OK being public. Don't feel bad, you did the best you can.
  • 6
    I learned the VERY hard way at my first sales job "NEVER volunteer unnecessary information" unfortunately. Some work environments are friendlier than others, but usually everyone is just out for themselves
  • 5
    Report co-worker to HR for spreading rumors about your personal life.
  • 3
    Someone throws you under a bus and you live, throw them under an 18-wheeler
  • 6
    Used to live with a colleague I considered a friend.

    Had some mental health issues that impacted my work attendance.

    Manager somehow finds out on fb (completely private btw) that I’d been out for a friend’s birthday on the same day I had to leave early due to a panic attack.

    Now, as anyone who struggles / struggled with depression knows: friends try to drag you out places, and the prevailing wisdom is that it’s good for you. It wasn’t btw. I got way worse the next day.

    MFW I come into work and I’m basically raked over the coals with a dismissal and they had screenshots and everything.

    MFW same guy didn’t pay any of the council tax after I left and racked up a huge bill before leaving the country.

    MFW I’m suicidal and dealing with bailiffs etc.

    The dismissal didn’t stick, I got paid to leave and keep quiet. Let’s just say there were some problematic elements and homophobia involved.
  • 1
    Keep your professional like separate from your personal life right?
  • 2
    If I were at your place.
    HR: So I heard that you're trying for education.
    Me: Did person X told you? I just told him that because he told me that he was going to quit the job. I guess we both were kidding. 😁
    HR: Oh, I see!
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