God save the King!

I told the interviewer I was a rockstar developer.

I didn't tell him I meant rockstar in the "take loads of drugs and trash the hotel room" sense.

If your cookie preference setting doesn't include triple chocolate then it's not much of a cookie preference setting

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

You pay me money, I drink a shitload of beer

It's coming home! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿⚽️

When your new medication has the days of the week printed on the blister pack, but you start it halfway through the week.

Stable mental health?

Database triggers are a powerful tool, but you can sure tie yourself in knots with them.

Please do rename the "master" branch to "Führer". The umlaut will probably catch a bunch of applications that aren't UTF-8 ready.

I'm implementing 2FA supporting TOTP, SMS and backup codes. To store the backup codes I've issued in my app's database, what should I do re hashing/encryption?

Just passed the Salesforce Platform Developer I exam with no section below 83% :) I need another beer.

Break it down into stages- elaborating on requirements, frontend/backend work, testing, etc. Then pull the numbers out of my arse.

ISO-8601. Much easier to deal with.

Every time you give me a CSV to import, why is it arranged differently to the last one, missing info that is required for the point of the thing I'm importing it into, and I have to spend 2 hours going through it with a text editor and even a hex editor? Your data entry is about as clean as my arse after a particularly spicy burrito.

Personal project: I design and build single-board computers with old processors like Z80, 6502 etc when I'm not being too lazy. A few run CP/M. One that's been more interesting in terms of digging deeper has been an 80C188, for which I've written a BIOS (despite the chip's built-in peripherals and interrupts being at non-standard addresses) mostly in C, which it can use to boot DOS from an image file on an SD card (bit-banged off the UART chip with FatFs). (Yes it's slow, but so is a 5.25" floppy.)

Work: My first project at my current job. Not particularly exciting compared to some stuff on here, but it got me into making useful contributions to the open-source CRM we used at the time. Was building a basic extension to deal with duplicated organisation names. So learned CiviCRM fairly deeply, a bit of Drupal, a bit of PHP. It's a shame we don't use that system any more, the community was cool.

Just got another free burrito because they don't seem to deduct the reward points from the app but keep giving me more...

Your code has so much spaghetti, there's vomit on my sweater already.

(reposted as a rant cos @yatanvesh said so)

The life of a coffee

Motherfucker, do you even review your own code, never mind getting anyone else to do it?

"Hi" randomly added on a new line in the middle of a switch block, a syntax error, as the only change in a file?

Breaking two methods by misunderstanding which database object a variable identifies- but making no other change to those functions? And not adding permissions checks to the new API methods you added in that file?

Overwriting the email template that goes out to users who were added straight to the CRM, by reusing the same file for a template for users that have been invited to an event?

Adding your new fields to the old CRM sync code, again leaving me to figure it out, thereby leaving users' changes likely to be overwritten every morning?

And pushing this to master, supposedly tested, without a heads-up?

How often does your mum need to buy you a new box of crayons? Because these ones are chewed to pieces.

Suck my balls. Or rather don't, you probably don't know you're not meant to use your teeth.

It's Friday evening, so time to drink a whole bunch of booze.

What are you drinking tonight? I'm on vodka and orange, but probably switching to beer shortly.

Dear other developers,

Don't throw exceptions in async callbacks goddammit. It doesn't abort the outer function where you think it does, and it crashes the app because you can't catch it.

It's Friday, I have a range of strong, delicious beer, a couple of things I probably shouldn't take with it, and a weekend to spend in bed dicking about on the internet. Things are OK.

Dear online services, shops etc.

I already use your service. You have no need to advertise it to me, and I know I opted out of that. Any reminder that I'm missing out and should opt in to marketing, even if it's described as a service/operational message, will itself get reported as spam. Because it explicitly is, by its own confession.

A fjord in the south of Greenland last summer. (Hiking rather than climbing, but it works for the purpose of the joke.) What was worse was coming back down again, it was raining.

Bug of the day (a demo of it at least):

https://jsfiddle.net/4ew3Lzet/

More 💰, less 🐂💩. Or just a quiet life. The obvious, really.

Only found this out after the fact, but an almost total lack of authorisation checks in an exposed API has got to be up there.

!rant !dev
Anyone here play Polytopia? I just downloaded it today, it's fun but I'm generally crap at multiplayer so you'll probably beat me.
My code is: wydbVH59gUNdomWE

!rant
My patch to a BBC Micro emulator to allow passthrough access to the host's IDE interface seems to work. Now I can try and program a BBC Micro to access CD-ROM drives 😃

Also, BrewDog order arriving tomorrow 🍺😃