Job Offer Letters Be Like:

Page 1: "We are pleased to offer you the position…"
Page 2-10: “Terms, conditions, policies, and consequences if you even think about breathing wrong.”
Page 11: "Sign below if you’re still alive."

Most contracts contain illegal stuff regarding fines and stuff. Sign anything. Yolo.

The employee handbook at the company I work for says you are not allowed to do other work outside of your work hours. Fuck that, I am not your slave, you pay me for working from 8am to 5pm and what I do outside of those hours is literally none of your business.

Don't forget the "we own all your IP even if it's made when you're not on the clock"

@BordedDev not if you do this stuff on your own personal computer :P

Hiring slaves but forbidding to use the word master. Because woke ideology is more important than human rights.

@BordedDev I know a lot of people who let scratch that out. I did previously too, but by now i don't care anymore. It's one of dem ones that does not hold in court at all. And lets face it, if we could do fun stuff at work, we would've done it there! Our elsewhere projects are mostly something different.

@retoor Very true, I think here in the EU it would get thrown out of court instantly indeed. But we hear the horror stories from the USA where they just drown the guys in suits

@retoor Reminds me of the 'Silicon Valley' where Jared was 'wrongfully' hired by Richard because of some BS clause in his contract or something like that.