So hey this is the first time I'm actually posting here... huh ... also


just sad.

So I broke up with my girlfriend a few hours ago. We had been together for 7.5 years, still have three months left on our lease. Not for any satisfying reason I could feel good about, just that what we want to do with our lives just doesn't seem compatible. She was my best friend, and I hope that I can keep at least some degree of that friendship eventually. I love her dearly, I just stopped loving her the way a lover should, if that makes sense. I feel kind of shitty but I know I will feel way worse tomorrow. Hopefully I won't be too hungover. Sorry for the downer. Okay that is all.

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    Also feel free to comment whatever. Just don't dis my ex too much haha. I did post this largely because I don't really have anyone to talk to.
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    So sorry man. What a terrible thing to have to go through. Talking about it is a good thing. I always hate it when I go through something really shitty and somebody says "it will get better". While most of the time it is true, in the moment I don't care about that, I hurt now. Now sucks. We're all here to help you navigate the now that sucks.

    Hopefully somebody down below says something more helpful =/.
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    @duckWit Haha I dunno if there is really much helpful that anyone can say. For whatever reason kind words like yours help though. Thank you. They don't necessarily have to be helpful words I guess it just makes me feel a little better knowing someone other than me feels sorry for me, even if only in passing. Ha that sounds narcissistic.
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    I've only been a part of this community for a little while but I've already come to learn that there are some really stellar people here and despite all the rants, there's an awful lot of wise, uplifting words.

    Again, so sorry you are going through this. Let yourself feel the pain for a while. Running from it has never worked in my experience. And, it might seem impossible now, but slowly start to get back into the groove of staying occupied.
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    Humans are social beings. We want to share our joy and our sorrow, and it's you today but it will be me tomorrow.

    Holy shit I'm a poet.
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    Well done my friend been almost there (not such a long relationship) done that.

    No regrets
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    @duckWit Yeah there are definitely good people here I think, and I too haven't been here long. I wouldn't have posted this otherwise.

    Luckily I have a good relationship with my boss, so I figure I will just talk to him privately Monday morning and let him know why I might not be the best employee for the next couple weeks. Pain is a part of life, right? So running from it is just running from life.
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    @carlosjpc Haha I wish no regrets. I wrote myself a note reminding myself that I made the right decision because I know when I start feeling really like shit about it I will just want to feel better and talk to my best friend and I am 97% sure that she would take me back if I said I changed my mind.

    There should be no regrets though. I made the right decision. I just need to deal with the sads.
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    Soooo after a LOT of wine and a little bit of pot I'm thinking about it and honestly I had A LOT of reasons to break up with her. Like I'm really feeling good about the thing right now. I'm sure the booze and pot have nothign to do with that ^_^
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    Don’t worry man everything will be ok in the end, If it’s not ok it’s not the end
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    Whow, after such a long time, that's a really hard decision to make. When I have a fight with my gf I too ask myself what's worth going on and I find a lot of reasons to continue. As I live together with my gf I sometimes forget to value what I have and try to remember all the good stuff. But I wouldn't have the strength to quit if not for a very good reason.
    Respect to you for your decision and I wish you the best for your future!
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    Hope you feel better. Take a vacation and it might help. Or hang out with friends who care about your wellbeing. Might help.
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    @catadoxa Unrequested advice:

    The next step is throwing yourself outside of your comfort zone.

    Buy some tickets to festivals. Sign up for a cooking class. Find a makerspace in your area, learn to operate a milling machine and make a chess set. Go on a nudist wine tasting tour, volunteer at a shelter, visit an art gallery opening, organize an illegal rave, join some hipsters at a leatherworking workshop.

    If you are feeling weird and uncomfortable, you're doing it right.

    In a relationship you literally settle, you change very little about your daily patterns and habits.

    So the worst thing to do is to "just keep going", because you'll keep living the same life except without her.

    Lead a different life, shake things up, and new people will shake towards you.
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    @bittersweet A nudist wine tasting tour sounds fucking fantastic. Do you know if such a thing actually exists?
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    @catadoxa Count me in
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